Pearl - April 08, 2025


Church Girls Are Still Single Because of THIS...


Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

162.72665

Word count

2,127

Sentence count

134

Harmful content

Misogyny

16

sentences flagged

Toxicity

23

sentences flagged

Hate speech

18

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about my experience with online dating apps and how the church forces women to date outside of the church. I also talk about the dangers of online dating in the church and how to deal with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So I'm like, you guys are going to put a gun to my head, basically, and make me die alone. 0.98
00:00:04.360 Now, this guy's going to go on to outline four important issues Christians, singles,
00:00:09.540 pastors, and ministry leaders need to know about online dating apps.
00:00:14.120 I'm going to get to that, but I want to tell you guys my experience.
00:00:17.400 Now, I grew up in a Catholic church.
00:00:20.340 Now, I'm going to focus on after school.
00:00:25.300 I went to a Protestant church for like two years, and I was pretty into it.
00:00:29.860 I lived with people from the church.
00:00:31.700 I went to Bible study twice a week, right?
00:00:34.700 And I remember someone asked me if I wanted to do a dating event, and I was like, oh, I was single at the time.
00:00:40.980 So I'm like, all right, let's do it.
00:00:44.700 And they said, well, you probably won't get anything, right?
00:00:47.500 And I'm like, what do you mean I won't get anything?
00:00:50.780 And what they told me was that it's 90% women at these dating events. 1.00
00:00:54.720 And I'm like, oh, wow.
00:00:56.460 Why am I even at this church?
00:00:57.900 I thought we were here to get boyfriends, no?
00:01:04.620 I'm like, why am I even here?
00:01:06.820 Anyway, so then at this, I know, I think I was there for the wrong reasons, right?
00:01:15.800 Anyway, so these churches, what they have is they have all these events, and the women, they kind of police each other. 0.99
00:01:23.980 It's really interesting.
00:01:24.900 It's like a weird dynamic because you live with a lot of the other women, and they tell you not to date on the dating apps. 0.85
00:01:32.200 Now, this is a little different, but there they said you have to date someone in the church.
00:01:37.240 So I'm like, you guys are going to put a gun to my head, basically, and make me die alone.
00:01:41.760 Like, I can't, I have to date within this church. 0.98
00:01:46.460 Or they said go to other churches that are similar.
00:01:50.100 But I'm like, these men don't want to go to church.
00:01:54.060 Do you know what I mean? 1.00
00:01:54.820 These men aren't putting up with this bullshit here. 1.00
00:01:56.980 And then it becomes like a single woman. 1.00
00:02:00.500 And then I went on this, like, they had these, like, retreats you could go on, and you, like, read the Bible and whatever.
00:02:06.580 And I actually met some pretty cool, like, women there. 1.00
00:02:09.160 But I looked around, and I'm like, all these women are older than me and single. 0.90
00:02:13.080 I'm going to die alone if I stay here.
00:02:14.880 And I really had this realization that the church really does leave women single.
00:02:21.720 Because instead of going out, like, normally women will feel lonely, right?
00:02:26.680 So we'll ditch the whatever community and we'll be like, let me go find a boyfriend or a husband, whatever.
00:02:35.480 But what happens in these churches is the women get the sense of community from the church. 0.99
00:02:40.860 So they don't really feel the need.
00:02:44.140 And they also get the ability to disqualify men for not being godly enough.
00:02:49.540 And that's whatever the women deem is godly. 1.00
00:02:52.780 And you guys see how that's, like, a path for destruction.
00:02:55.760 Like, there is this one woman at her church that eliminated, she was, like, older. 1.00
00:03:02.040 She was an older woman and, like, not older, but, like, okay, I don't want to give too many details.
00:03:06.260 Over 25, less than 35, I'll say. 0.92
00:03:08.480 And she was a virgin, right?
00:03:10.320 Or allegedly.
00:03:11.420 I mean, who knows?
00:03:12.340 But, and she eliminated a guy for not being godly because he tried to sleep with her. 1.00
00:03:18.180 I'm like, bitch, you're not no spring chicken. 1.00
00:03:20.960 Like, what did you think was gonna, what did you, do you know what I mean? 1.00
00:03:26.720 Like, what did you, that's not gonna work now.
00:03:29.980 Do you know what I mean?
00:03:30.720 But, and they also shamed the male sex drive. 0.98
00:03:33.880 So, I mean, we all know, like, part of being a man is you guys just want to have sex with everything. 0.99
00:03:39.180 It's terrible. 0.98
00:03:40.400 I mean, not terrible, sorry.
00:03:41.640 I just did it. 0.99
00:03:42.600 But, like, it's very humbling as a woman because there's nothing like new vagina to a man. 1.00
00:03:50.000 Like, you could be a 10 out of 10 and he would just rather have sex with the new one. 0.99
00:03:55.260 It's just, like, you can't compete with it.
00:03:58.060 Do you know what I mean?
00:03:58.740 Like, it's the worst because really after a certain time, like, guys get sick of sleeping with you, what, after two years?
00:04:07.640 I mean, that's, like, enough, right?
00:04:09.980 If you got a good gluck, gluck, maybe three.
00:04:12.320 But, like, he's still gonna want to sleep with that new woman more.
00:04:17.300 And that's why I gotta thank the corn stars out there.
00:04:21.560 Thank you, ladies.
00:04:22.380 Because I feel like you guys prevent cheating because they can just look at you.
00:04:28.760 Right?
00:04:29.520 Right?
00:04:31.580 Anyways, so these churches, they really do leave women single. 1.00
00:04:36.100 They really do.
00:04:37.060 Because they allow women to feel holier than thou because all they have to do is put on a Jesus necklace and read the Bible and then you can think you're a good person. 1.00
00:04:48.460 They don't tell you to not be annoying or not nag or learn the gluck, gluck. 0.98
00:04:53.480 Like, I had Christians on Twitter say that you shouldn't be your husband's porn star. 0.97
00:05:00.620 Well, who's gonna do it? 0.94
00:05:03.340 Do you know what I mean?
00:05:04.460 It's like, I mean, now I understand there's some weird corn stuff.
00:05:10.900 But, like, I'm not saying you gotta be insane, but, I mean, wouldn't you rather him looking at you than looking at that?
00:05:21.280 Do you know?
00:05:23.860 Whatever.
00:05:24.780 Whatever.
00:05:25.200 Anyway, so, now these are the problems this Christian guy found on the Christian dating apps.
00:05:32.080 Not all Christian dating apps are Christian.
00:05:34.480 One of the most prevalent and detrimental assumptions is that all Christian dating apps are actually Christian.
00:05:41.140 Just because an online dating app has Christian in the title or Christ in the branding does not mean that it's run by Christian leaders or that it cares about biblical values.
00:05:51.680 In fact, the majority of the largest and most popular Christian dating apps in the U.S. are run by secular companies.
00:05:57.700 For example, Upward is the largest Christian dating app on the market right now and is an option many pastors currently regularly recommend to their singles.
00:06:08.900 However, unbeknownst to them, Upward is actually owned by Match Group, an $11 billion company that owns secular dating apps like Match.com, Hinge, and casual hookup style dating apps like Tinder.
00:06:24.200 Unfortunately, the experience for Christian singles on Upward is much of what you would expect from a secular company. 0.86
00:06:33.160 This app is riddled with inappropriate content, utilizes the same matchmaking processes as Tinder, and is filled with secular features that would make a pastor blush. 0.98
00:06:44.400 Yeah, like filtering height or, you know, I'm pretty sure you can basically buy women on Tinder these days. 0.98
00:06:52.320 Okay, additionally, apps like Christian Mingle and eHarmony are often thought of as being Christian-owned companies.
00:06:59.900 In reality, though, Christian Mingle is owned by a massively publicly traded company out of Germany called Sparknotes that owns many casual secular dating apps,
00:07:09.400 and eHarmony clearly shares they are not a Christian dating app and more focused on inclusivity.
00:07:14.260 Number two, secular companies have different opinions on what is appropriate, what is inappropriate.
00:07:23.260 With the majority of Christian dating apps being run by secular companies, it's important to highlight an area where Christians and the world differ heavily on their viewpoint,
00:07:34.540 specifically when it relates to the topic of lust.
00:07:37.280 Yeah, you guys think that slapping God on the title is going to make women not get naked? 0.65
00:07:43.760 Truly?
00:07:45.280 I mean, yeah.
00:07:48.780 Spend just a few minutes on some of the most popular Christian dating apps, and you'll see a barrage of scantily clad photos, excessive cleavage, shirt-off pictures, 0.88
00:07:58.320 and while everyone may have a slightly different viewpoint on what is showing too much,
00:08:03.260 these apps can choose to err on the side of letting people do what they want,
00:08:07.700 as opposed to being mindful of the things that could cause a Christian brother or sister to stumble.
00:08:13.400 When you pair with this fact that Christians are led to feel that they're in a safe and Christ-centered space,
00:08:20.140 the lack of modesty can become quickly normalized.
00:08:23.200 I mean, do you guys know what? 1.00
00:08:26.160 Christians will die on the hill of women being whores. 1.00
00:08:29.540 They really will. 1.00
00:08:31.780 There was a girl on Twitter recently.
00:08:34.680 I mean, she was thirst-trapping at her job.
00:08:37.740 I mean, as the trad e-girls do. 1.00
00:08:40.360 And I just pointed it out, and you know what?
00:08:42.800 All of the Christians yelled at me for pointing it out.
00:08:46.980 This is what you're dealing with.
00:08:49.260 Now, number three is romance scams are real,
00:08:52.380 and Christian singles are the highest value target.
00:08:56.740 The last major blind spot church and ministry leaders need to know about
00:09:01.060 are the very real dangers of romance scams.
00:09:04.100 By definition, a romance scam is when someone impersonates someone else online
00:09:08.420 with the intention of separating someone from their money.
00:09:11.420 Yeah, Christian men, unfortunately, are the biggest purchasers of OnlyFans, 1.00
00:09:18.820 Christian married men. 0.79
00:09:19.660 Even God can't stop these men from wanting to be with multiple men.
00:09:26.980 It's so unfortunate.
00:09:28.440 Do you know what I mean?
00:09:28.780 You could be so hot as a woman, and there's just nothing you can do. 1.00
00:09:32.520 Nothing.
00:09:34.280 Nothing.
00:09:34.760 Nothing.
00:09:35.860 There are horror stories you see that simply break your heart.
00:09:38.700 Christian singles are prime targets for scammers because they tend to be kind,
00:09:44.200 giving, and empathetic, even with strangers.
00:09:47.060 Scammers know and therefore target Christian singles both online and in person much more.
00:09:53.240 Number four, the act of swiping profiles is creating an addictive behavior.
00:09:57.240 For women, I mean, how many swipes do you really get as a guy? 1.00
00:10:00.600 There is a lot of research showing that swipe dating is causing serious mental health problems
00:10:07.320 for singles.
00:10:08.280 On average, users scroll through 20 hours per week.
00:10:13.280 Wow, I save a lot of time being in a real life.
00:10:15.640 20 hours.
00:10:16.660 Okay.
00:10:17.200 Which builds an addictive dopamine loop like drugs, alcohol, and gambling addictions.
00:10:22.720 People join these apps, start swiping.
00:10:25.420 When they get their first match, it fires a high-level dopamine rush to the brain.
00:10:29.500 From there, people keep swiping to choose to chase that high.
00:10:33.480 But there are a lot of reasons why they'll never achieve that feeling.
00:10:36.200 The problem is so bad that people are experiencing withdrawal symptoms,
00:10:41.300 like twitching fingers when they don't use the apps.
00:10:45.440 Wow.
00:10:46.260 Isn't that bad out there?
00:10:47.820 Dang.
00:10:48.440 Okay.
00:10:48.620 If an online app truly has Christian values, they should take on added responsibility to
00:10:54.720 protect their users.
00:10:55.680 Unfortunately, that is often overlooked for a couple of reasons.
00:10:59.280 First, most secular dating apps don't take additional security steps because it's too 0.68
00:11:05.700 expensive or takes too many resources to implement.
00:11:09.340 Secondly, the secular apps aren't aware of the increased risk and therefore aren't even
00:11:13.760 aware of the magnitude of the problem.
00:11:15.540 The latter tends to be the case with smaller Christian dating apps that may have their hearts
00:11:20.900 in the right place but lack the industry knowledge to properly deliver a safe experience.
00:11:26.900 The question becomes, should singles even take a chance with online dating?
00:11:33.800 Okay.
00:11:34.980 What's the downside?
00:11:36.320 You might as well try it.
00:11:39.560 I'm not saying it'll work, but...
00:11:41.620 All right.
00:11:41.940 Churches have learned to leverage technology in so many ways to better serve God's people.
00:11:46.180 In the right context, online dating can be an incredible way to help build relationships
00:11:49.800 that are truly Christ-centered.
00:11:52.220 But for that to be the case, two things need to change.
00:11:55.300 First, Christian singles need to start using dating apps that are built on biblical principles.
00:12:00.040 Single ministry leaders and pastors need to help steer singles to platforms that are Christian-led
00:12:09.060 and that take a provocative approach to both physical and spiritual safety of its users. 0.99
00:12:14.340 So again, this is them saying, use God to get women to stop being whores. 0.98
00:12:18.980 Have you guys dealt with a Christian woman? 0.98
00:12:25.460 How has that gone for you?
00:12:27.600 Have they been of higher quality?
00:12:29.620 When I start hearing the men saying the Christian women are of higher quality and great droves,
00:12:35.760 when the men say the best way to find a wife is church,
00:12:39.500 when I start seeing that, maybe I'll believe it.
00:12:43.180 But as of now, I don't see any evidence that there's like a buffer.
00:12:46.880 Secondly, we need to do a better job as a church in educating singles about the hidden dangers of online dating.
00:12:53.380 With simple education and knowledge,
00:12:55.900 Christian singles can be made more aware of potential risks of online dating
00:12:59.860 and how to avoid any situations that could be harmful to others.