Pearl - Conservative Dorks Live In La La Land And Give Men The WORST Advice

00:00:00.000 you gotta talk about it and then hey when things start getting spicy whistle up a small little

00:00:03.980 fucking ceremony throw her on the couch and wrap it up so my wife i met and we started dating two

00:00:08.020 weeks later i said you're the woman i want to marry let's get married two weeks two weeks

00:00:14.040 she's different she's different she loves me oh they always say they always say i'm too mean on

00:00:29.220 the women and i thought if you came on today and we only talked about women like maybe we'd get hate

00:00:34.100 speech or something so i decided to show you the man this guy's got a ham hawk neck all right he's

00:00:40.760 obviously gravitationally challenged and i mean of course he's gonna ask a woman to marry after two

00:00:48.240 weeks because he probably doesn't get over the x enough times to like be picky yeah he's like all

00:00:55.260 right i'm over i'm over the i'm over the drop zone do it come on i don't know i'd go to the gym maybe

00:01:02.880 listen i should show him how to use the treadmill so he doesn't have to be that desperate

00:01:06.780 it's not hard okay now in current year two weeks is totally unacceptable now if this was like 50 years

00:01:15.800 and be you know 50 years ago or beyond that happened all the time people got married young

00:01:23.360 and quick yeah i think that average i remember in 1920 the average was like three months

00:01:31.420 yeah you'd just get married a lot of that might be shotgun marriage like oh you slipped them by the

00:01:36.200 goalie uh so i guess we got to do this yeah seal the deal we didn't get married on the spot but we

00:01:43.340 also didn't wait eight years we got engaged and we went 10 and a half months from then any sex during

00:01:47.980 the engagement no it was a wonderful wedding night i will say and i have five kids so it's definitely

00:01:52.220 sex happening now did we talk about sex absolutely did we want to have sex before absolutely did we

00:01:57.980 no because we said let's make sure let's hold off on sex for she didn't want the sex that bad

00:02:03.500 when a girl want when a woman wants sex from a guy oh she'll make him cave there's no way it's so

00:02:10.940 hard try telling a woman if she doesn't want to have sex with you if you tell her no it's like

00:02:16.900 whatever but if she wants to have sex with you and it's hard and you say no good luck unless she's

00:02:23.920 unless she's ugly or something they will throw it on you and it's listen man it all depends if you're

00:02:29.880 in the middle in a dry spell and you need a slump buster things happen oh i'm out of time so that

00:02:37.720 we can have the right life and make sure this works did you present it yes and i think that's

00:02:42.060 the big indicator you presented it doesn't work so well when the woman presents it and the guy goes

00:02:46.100 good idea i also made a comedy lecture years ago called the string along method where you get a

00:02:53.460 girlfriend and you could string her along for up to like 13 years without getting married

00:02:57.240 okay wait tell me more well yeah you're with a girl she's nice piece of tail and you don't want to

00:03:08.640 like you know ruin it and say no right away so you string it along like oh yeah i want to get married

00:03:14.960 well why don't we get a dog first

00:03:16.900 and then you know we'll see how that goes you can string that out for about

00:03:23.420 you know 18 months 24 tops wait wait can we can we role play i want i want to see how you'd answer

00:03:30.040 i want to see how you'd answer so if i say i say let's get married why don't we get a dog first and

00:03:36.620 see how that plays out okay okay so now we have the dog okay so now we have the dog look at this dog i

00:03:44.920 trained him myself i i taught him to sit very good look at he's such a good dog now what what do we

00:03:52.740 have to do well we should live together first okay let's do that all right so and you can string that

00:03:59.040 along for another 18 to 24 months i'm super neat i'm super looking i do all the laundry excellent

00:04:05.000 excellent

00:04:06.240 so okay so when you get to this point that's been two years so no it's been four four because the dog was two

00:04:14.240 and then that okay so then you'd pull out ring bluff one okay so it's yeah let's go look at rings

00:04:20.840 and you can string that along for like another 18 months okay so for 18 so then so another year

00:04:31.980 and a half we just okay so i liked this ring we'll put it on layaway no no we can get a cheaper

00:04:38.480 ring it's okay i don't care we can do no we're gonna do this right it's good we're gonna get

00:04:44.180 this one don't waste your money don't don't i don't want you i know you're still doing the ring

00:04:48.520 bluff i know now look i'll take the cheapest one doesn't work i'll take a bit you got to string it

00:04:56.420 out man okay and i don't remember all of the steps but if you if you follow all of the steps

00:05:02.540 you can really string this out for nine to 12 years so what's after the ring bluff let's ring

00:05:07.740 bluff one ring bluff one ring bluff two and then there's uh illness okay so i want to be totally

00:05:16.000 healthy when we do this i want to make sure i don't leave you with anything okay what's unhealthy

00:05:19.920 you seem like a healthy i have well runs in my family i've you know congenital heart issues i need

00:05:25.940 to get checked out i gotta run and do some pt oh okay so if we go to the gym together every day

00:05:32.740 there you go there you live with me you can you know cook for me do i wake me up do i need to get

00:05:37.360 thinner too i'm guessing why not okay it's better if you get thinner then it's you can milk the pencil

00:05:43.680 better oh okay okay so what what's your goal here you want to get to like lose 20 pounds and

00:05:49.460 then we can do it well yeah you can do that as well but the thing is no i meant us because you

00:05:54.520 said you wanted to yeah get in like what's that what do we have to get to to get to the marriage

00:05:59.000 well typically you want to you don't want to get married you you you're stringing it along

00:06:05.200 no no but i want to know what they you have to tell the people what they would say to like

00:06:08.720 hypothetically me so no we need to get it well if you want to have children we need to be as

00:06:14.240 healthy as we possibly can so you're gonna have to like run a few you have to eat better

00:06:20.060 like there's all kinds of excuses okay so and then now i come back when you run out of excuses you're

00:06:25.960 like this just isn't gonna work out and then you go find another one that's younger and you start

00:06:33.980 all over it's rinse and repeat oh that's so funny it's mean as hell but in today's current in the

00:06:41.760 market of what's going on out there in the so you could die what if at the end so does she dump you

00:06:47.740 or you dump her well if you're smart you can actually get her to dump you okay and i'm gonna

00:06:53.440 make that video you gave me that idea okay so how do i so i say you know what i want to be with

00:06:58.400 you so bad we don't even have to get married well you're kind of stuck then but

00:07:02.760 well if you want her to get rid of you you can like number one you cry in front of her okay

00:07:09.920 women always lose women always lose respect for man the minute he sheds one tear hey honey how's

00:07:17.560 it going go ahead there you go why are you crying i i could make up like something it's really weak

00:07:25.340 stupid somebody cut me off on the way home oh something stupid oh it's okay because if you

00:07:31.300 like your dog dies and you cry about it you can get a pass for that if a family member or a close

00:07:37.720 friend dies you can get a pass for that but if you are crying at the drop of a hat you're literally

00:07:44.580 she's okay so let's pretend that doesn't work oh it's okay it's no big deal he was a veteran he's

00:07:50.220 he's a badass so who cares yeah get another one what find another dude which most women can find

00:07:57.060 another dude no problem okay so you you get another dude for her is that what you like that that could

00:08:02.980 be a maneuver okay so you you know her type obviously so you find someone that's like better

00:08:08.480 yeah maybe pay him to go after her is that that's if you pay somebody to go after her that is you're

00:08:15.880 gonna get some bad karma for that but if you arrange the meeting and it just takes it just nature takes

00:08:23.040 its course then you're gonna get a pass so how would you arrange the meeting what would you do

00:08:26.920 what requires would you like be at work and be like your best looking co-worker hey

00:08:31.580 well yeah you can do something like that you're like you know what

00:08:35.560 you know you just like bring them bring them around the house and then you just take that quick

00:08:42.360 look to see if she's looking at them you got to see if he's looking at her too yeah yeah but the

00:08:47.460 important part is if you catch her looking at them then you know you can sell it so then what

00:08:52.600 do you do do you tell them be like hey it just like you know hey man it's not working out with us

00:08:57.480 i don't know what's gonna happen then if he's into it be like okay yeah it can't be your friend

00:09:03.840 it could be somebody you work with an acquaintance you don't ever want to you know pawn off used

00:09:09.500 merchandise someone of your close friends that is a no-go that's how you get punched in the mouth

00:09:14.580 wow well what if the friends kind of i mean maybe the friend will get rid of her after but he's got

00:09:20.380 to end the i saw a tiktok well that's how you wind up with eskimo brothers well i saw a tiktok of

00:09:27.000 these two friends and one said that he hooked up with his friend's girlfriend and he did it to show

00:09:32.040 him that she was a whore and then he dumped her and the guy and the guy was like yeah i was thankful for it

00:09:37.360 well yeah that's uh i mean in the day and age where women will marry you just to get the cash and

00:09:50.060 prizes you you're gonna have to get medieval okay i mean there's a reason i call them white institutes

00:09:57.240 for a reason speaking of which brad pitt's divorce is finalized and i have the numbers

00:10:04.320 so i'm gonna be doing another pimp tart wife institute brad pitt edition coming up what does

00:10:09.460 that mean that's where i take all of the money that was handed over and then you know i estimate

00:10:14.260 how many you know hits on pussy and you know other sexual acts and then i divide the numbers and find

00:10:20.960 out how much he actually paid so what is a supermodel so since she's a supermodel that'd be

00:10:25.460 interesting these are supermodel here's the thing is he was only married for two years

00:10:30.100 really it was that short it was that short and he was with her for a decade prior to that

00:10:34.960 but that's just bait pussy that was nothing but bait to bring in the big fish hook it and then

00:10:43.200 slaughter it and that's that's what happened wow wow so i didn't know that they were only two years

00:10:49.960 two years eight it took what eight seven eight years for the divorce to be done and they're still

00:10:54.020 fighting about stuff now i'd have no idea like if a divorce takes that long every lawyer involved

00:11:03.320 needs to have their law license taken away because there's no reason to milk it on for milk it for

00:11:08.960 that for eight goddamn years they just want to get paid

00:11:12.960 i mean morally that i think that's reprehensible that 13 years so funny the string along brad tried he

00:11:23.700 did it for 10. yeah he screwed up he fell off of the equation yeah he should maybe he should have

00:11:30.620 stayed married to jennifer i don't know i don't even know what kind of hell that was i don't know

00:11:36.820 i don't think she took him to the cleaners or anything no no but you know he uh divorced her

00:11:42.240 because he was coming up on the 10-year mark and hollywood has permanent alimony and robin williams

00:11:48.660 was paying alimony to two ex-wives no way yeah oh i didn't know i did i did memorial for robin

00:11:55.380 williams where i actually in video gave him the taps in 21 he should have gotten from the military

00:12:01.680 because of all of his uso tours oh wow i mean that dude literally showed up did comedy and entertain

00:12:07.420 the troops while mortars were falling more well what orders what's that that's it's a it's a short

00:12:16.460 short range artillery it's a man pack artillery wow yeah i mean and and he died and then there was no

00:12:24.380 there was no ceremony they like they hid it or tried to cover it up i think they did it out of shame

00:12:30.300 because they knew they they rode that mule into his grave my dad said he was sick was he not sick

00:12:37.460 my dad said he killed himself because he was like he had some type of neurodegenerative thing going on

00:12:43.100 and i totally get it but i mean look at it this way you're on the hook to pay two ex-wives alimony for

00:12:50.080 the rest of your life and you cannot bring in the money like you used to most judges are not going to

00:12:57.300 lower your alimony and i knew something was going to go down with him when he uh put most of his assets

00:13:03.360 in a was an irrevocable trust for his kids and then i i guess he was just marking time so do you think

00:13:13.040 because my dad i i was just talking to him about robin williams the other day but he said that it was

00:13:18.700 because he was sick and it was gonna get bad that was the deciding factor yeah okay because i i thought

00:13:25.420 it was from his divorce but well i mean again you have to pay millions of dollars in alimony a year

00:13:32.520 to two ex-wives yeah and you cannot earn the money to pay that and now you're you're sick and it's not

00:13:40.940 there's no up upside it's nothing but downhill from there and you know he did what he did yeah

00:13:47.900 now i i you know i was i can't really judge him i was not in his shoes i totally understand

00:13:55.580 but like when it comes to to self-deletion

00:13:59.180 most of the time you can figure it out but if you get to the point where you have a terrible diagnosis

00:14:09.840 or you are old and it's a done deal for you leave your keys at the desk and move on to the next

00:14:18.520 the next mission yeah and i don't think the universe is going to punish you for that

00:14:23.560 yeah like if you're 90 some odd years old and you you can't even walk and you're all screwed up and

00:14:28.980 you're you're in a home nobody's visiting you i mean that's hell on earth

00:14:33.560 yeah my dad said if he was sick he would just yeah he would do the same thing if it happened to

00:14:39.620 me i mean if i got something like that i would probably say what did he have i don't remember

00:14:43.780 louis body dementia or something okay but if i found myself in a situation like that i would

00:14:49.520 probably send a formal invitation to have a duel with a mexican drug cartel gang

00:14:56.880 so funny what you're just like okay i'm gonna meet you here and you know bring whatever you

00:15:08.440 want and this we're gonna do it of course i'll show up early so i can you know i set up before

00:15:13.660 they set up on me and it is what it is i mean i'm i'm done anyway yeah he went so god in a duel

00:15:21.280 why not i don't know what if they kill you like wouldn't it be quicker to just do a gun

00:15:26.500 i don't know like i don't want to bleed out or something yeah i mean it's not that scary

00:15:32.620 not to me anymore yeah i mean i've i've served through three wars i was almost killed in two

Pearl - January 24, 2025

Conservative Dorks Live In La La Land And Give Men The WORST Advice ｜ Pearl Daily

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