Pearl - June 09, 2026


Coping While Dumping Their BFs： A Case Study


Episode Stats


Length

17 minutes

Words per minute

229.7

Word count

4,077

Sentence count

48

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

20

sentences flagged

Hate speech

19

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we are reacting to women who have recently broken up with their boyfriends and how they feel about the situation. We discuss how to deal with a breakup and how to move on from a relationship that no longer serves you.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 just by being good and kind to me and opening my door and bringing me roses every month and
00:00:04.260 like i think he thinks that he's going above and beyond and he's not above him oh my god you get
00:00:11.680 roses oh my god ninja please what up guys welcome to my reaction uh series today we are reacting to
00:00:18.820 women that broke up with their boyfriends and as you guys know um women we tend to break up with 0.88
00:00:23.940 men for no reason no real reason nothing's really wrong sometimes we just want you know to hoe out 0.86
00:00:31.600 you know and now the opportunity is there to do that so let's see what these ladies say their 0.93
00:00:38.520 reasoning is and if we as a chat you know agree or disagree and think they can do better just broke 1.00
00:00:43.320 up with my boyfriend and what's extra fucked up is you didn't even know i had a boyfriend 0.59
00:00:48.820 And I was planning on coming on here this week and talking about it and being like, hey, if you feel like no one is ever going to accept you and love you for who you are, this is your sign that that's not true. 0.89
00:00:59.800 And someone will. It's just a matter of time. You have to be patient.
00:01:03.640 And now I need you to tell me that, because to be honest with you, there hasn't been a single man that I've been involved with who hasn't required me to change some core part of myself.
00:01:14.960 Yeah, that's the thing. So, again, men don't want you to be who you are.
00:01:18.820 because who we are is big fat whores that are completely irresponsible. So when you get into 1.00
00:01:22.540 a relationship, you can't be a big fat whore that's completely irresponsible. And that requires 1.00
00:01:27.420 changing who you are. You know, eating healthier, spending less money, going out less, et cetera,
00:01:32.880 et cetera, traveling less. And then women feel like we lose ourselves. And then, yeah, so here, 1.00
00:01:37.980 now, then we say, oh, no, I have to give myself up. And here you go.
00:01:41.280 order to make a relationship work and it's really bizarre because i love who i am i don't want to
00:01:49.740 change it like it would be a shame that's how i see it a guy with no standards or boundaries comes
00:01:55.680 in and says oh yeah i love you for who you are and then it becomes insufferable down the road
00:02:00.760 and he enables her to become a terrible human being and then um yeah i see it as like it would
00:02:05.100 be tragic for me to change who I am and my friends and my family feel the same way they don't want me
00:02:11.580 to change like even though there are some negative parts to my personality like no one has wanted me
00:02:17.600 to change and then suddenly like a man appears in the middle of my life like an alien confused
00:02:23.460 like they just don't get it and it really feels like my only two options are to change the core
00:02:32.460 parts of myself that they require me to change or to never achieve romantic fulfillment and
00:02:42.220 never be in a long-term relationship that works for both of us all right let's see this girl
00:02:47.820 years old i broke up with my boyfriend and he said no one will ever love you like i do
00:02:52.160 at the time i thought he was very manipulative like well that's the point right but now 11 years
00:02:57.800 later i'm realizing he was just very intuitive oh you're uh talking about a guy from 11 years ago
00:03:02.680 so i just texted to see if you want to hang out when i was 20 all right okay i guess i guess she
00:03:09.560 tried to do better and couldn't okay let's see this girl i have turned down to her i realized
00:03:14.000 that i no longer loved my most recent ice we've been together for a little over a year and he had
00:03:16.780 done so many fucked up things up to this point in our relationship and i tried to break up with 0.70
00:03:19.560 him multiple times you would never let me break up with him so i was just kind of i was at my 0.94
00:03:22.320 okay men um that don't allow you to break up with them have no self-respect and you will never love 0.97
00:03:28.560 him because that's like a woman that's like something a woman is supposed to do not allow
00:03:32.360 you to break up with you that's a woman thing anyways but one day i was at a networking event 0.96
00:03:36.600 and i was talking to this girl and she was telling me how she's going through a breakup and she's
00:03:39.020 like yeah we just weren't compatible and i was like yeah for sure like compatibility is definitely
00:03:42.100 the biggest thing in relationships like you can you can try to force it but at the end of the day
00:03:45.320 if you just don't get along or you don't agree on certain things then sometimes there's no
00:03:48.240 compromise it's just not going to work she's like yeah like for example like i just i don't know
00:03:51.960 like my ex he just always wanted to go out and do stuff after work and I'm the type of person where
00:03:55.360 I come home from work I just want to like sit on the couch and order fast food and I just want to
00:03:58.500 like chill out I want to garden I'm like yeah that's fair like a lot of people don't like doing
00:04:02.040 stuff after work she's like yeah I'm like I don't want to have to go out every single weekend like
00:04:05.200 he always wanted to go out with his friends I'm like even if we're just going he was like he loved
00:04:08.760 happy hours and like trivia nights I'm like dude I just I don't want to do that I want to sit at
00:04:13.240 home I don't want to hang out like maybe once a month I'll get together with my friends maybe like
00:04:16.460 every other month I don't know like I just don't like having to go out and do stuff and I was like
00:04:21.300 yeah that's fair like a lot of people don't like being social like you know you don't have to do
00:04:24.280 that right and she tells me exactly and he hated that I didn't like to cook like every time that
00:04:29.020 I went to the grocery store I would get like frozen stuff because it's just easier otherwise
00:04:31.980 I'm going to order I'm going to waste a bunch of money ordering food yeah we're lazier than men
00:04:35.200 already do too much of and I didn't like to cook and so he hated I didn't like to cook he was like
00:04:38.620 you need to eat healthier I'm like why does it matter if I'm eating healthy like I go to the
00:04:42.040 gym it doesn't really matter like I look good do I not look good like no you do look good like
00:04:45.900 you're you're beautiful you have a great body she's like exactly so like why doesn't your voice
00:04:49.540 went up that means she's lying she doesn't have a great body matter what I'm eating I'm like yeah
00:04:53.640 queen like don't eat your vegetables if you don't want to I don't care I don't care how you live 0.87
00:04:57.320 your life it's for me if you need to whatever right and she's like yeah and I don't know you 1.00
00:05:00.600 get mad because like I have a dog I'm like oh he didn't like your dog she's no he loved my dog but
00:05:05.200 like I would leave the house covered in dog hair and I wouldn't really notice or pay attention
00:05:08.740 because like if my dog's sitting on my life he's gonna shut on me so obviously when I leave I might
00:05:12.280 have like dog hair on me it's not a big deal you get so mad and be like why are you always covered
00:05:16.340 and dog hair and like why does it matter and I'm like yeah period and she's like yeah and he would
00:05:21.740 always get so upset like my car was dirty or my apartment was dirty my bathroom was dirty like
00:05:25.080 it was a lot like he just wanted me to like constantly be cleaning or cooking or doing
00:05:31.400 something and I'm like dude I just want to sit on my couch and hang out I don't care if my
00:05:34.760 apartment is dirty I don't care if my clothes are dirty like oh my god and I was like yeah queen
00:05:39.960 like whatever you know you can be dirty if you want you don't have to cook you don't have to
00:05:43.900 clean you can live in filth like that's none of my business right like I was like yeah you just
00:05:47.020 have to find someone who doesn't mind how you live and that your lifestyle is aligned that's
00:05:49.980 totally fine I'm the loser but as she was talking I was like this girl would be perfect for my
00:05:54.400 boyfriend like literally I was thinking wow he needs to be with someone who like literally does
00:05:59.500 not care how they live like he wants to be with someone who he needs to be with someone who like
00:06:02.600 doesn't want to cook doesn't want to clean can live in filth like doesn't care if they're closer
00:06:05.800 already when they go out doesn't want to hang out with their friends doesn't want to go to happy
00:06:08.020 hours or trivia nights and just wants to sit on their couch and watch YouTube and garden like that
00:06:11.060 the type of partner he needs that is who he needs in his life and i'm looking at this girl like
00:06:14.660 she's a cute girl right like maybe i should give her his number maybe maybe they should connect
00:06:19.140 because they obviously are a much better fit because that's what my ex wanted to do he wanted
00:06:21.620 to sit in a dirty dark apartment watch youtube and garden and there's nothing wrong with that
00:06:24.820 you're allowed to do that you're allowed to only hang out with your friends yeah that's so true
00:06:27.300 the compatibility once every couple of months you're allowed to like not really do much with
00:06:30.340 your life other than go on a bike right here and there like you're allowed to do that but that's
00:06:33.700 not the life that i want and so what up guys have you ever wanted to make trades on a real world 0.98
00:06:38.740 event or just stupid shit in general instead of stocks or crypto well now you can make predictions 0.96
00:06:44.820 on how many followers clavicular is going to have this year or will alex earl and alex cooper be 0.99
00:06:49.780 seen together in public you can make trades on basically anything our partner calci allows you
00:06:55.060 to make trades on pretty much anything it's fully regulated and you don't need a finance background
00:07:00.100 to make trades there are hundreds of new trades every single day the link is in the description
00:07:05.380 and use the code PEARL for 10 free dollars towards your first trade. I'm talking to this
00:07:10.940 girl and I'm realizing I think I wonder if she said about I think she would actually be perfect
00:07:16.940 for him and then I thought oh if I was still in love with this man I probably wouldn't be like
00:07:21.180 mentally setting him up with other women so this is probably over. Okay let's do this.
00:07:25.840 My boyfriend today and not for any crazy reason no heavy argument nothing crazy he's a great
00:07:31.960 person he's really such a sweet guy he literally taught me how to love he's gentle whoever gets
00:07:37.200 him it's gonna be in for yeah this is men hate this because it's not honest right just soft
00:07:43.660 love he translation he was weak being life right but i realized i'm a very high output individual
00:07:50.380 and i have high expectations for my friends my girlfriends they'll all tell you christina does 0.95
00:07:55.440 not want to hear your bullshit i'm not the friend that you call and vent to unless you want real 0.93
00:08:01.220 solution if you want me to just listen i could do that but make sure you say that in the beginning 0.99
00:08:05.520 of the call but i'm the friend that's going to apply the pressure i'm going to challenge you if
00:08:10.140 you tell me your dreams and your goals i'm going to hold you accountable and i'm going to make sure
00:08:13.520 you reach them i'm that friend i'm going to get you to your goals every single time and i'm that
00:08:19.100 woman in a relationship as well my husband if he has a bad she's a nagger day i'm gonna remind him 0.99
00:08:25.840 who the fuck he is he's a king you are a boss you deserve the world and i'm gonna help you get it 1.00
00:08:31.780 i'm the kind of girlfriend that will buy you a fucking car i'm the kind of girlfriend that will 1.00
00:08:37.160 really grind all week just to see you happy at the end of the week you can call me or pick me 0.99
00:08:42.380 you guys know i don't care but i'm the kind of girlfriend that will fight for it that will make
00:08:49.700 it work. I'll cut everybody off. I don't care. Everybody can go. What did Jay-Z say? If the 0.81
00:08:55.940 house is on fire, I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving. I am loyal. I am so excited to build a family with
00:09:02.760 somebody that I will cut off my own family because they're so toxic that I will start a whole new
00:09:09.440 family and become a whole new last name, a whole new person and won't look back. That's how 0.59
00:09:13.520 important it is for me to choose a person. He doesn't give me half of that energy. I think that
00:09:19.280 he thinks that just by being good and kind to me and opening my door and bringing me roses every
00:09:24.240 month and like i think he thinks that he's going above and beyond and he's not above him oh my god
00:09:32.840 you get roses oh my god ninja please keeping my soul calm giving me words like baby i got you
00:09:39.680 don't worry even if it's a sweet talker it's not a cheater it's never a funny he wants to be cheated
00:09:45.680 on good luck i wish you luck at these streets chica nothing like that it's just like i need
00:09:51.500 you to be certain about me i need you to know this is my partner i don't play about her this is my
00:09:57.860 woman i'm excited to have her i'm the type of woman that will change your life when i come into
00:10:04.340 your life if you let me help you if you don't want my help i can't help you i will change your life
00:10:10.380 I can't be in just a relationship because you're a good person that's nice let's stay friends
00:10:17.740 you know let's have a good let's let's flirt sometimes sure but in order for me to build an
00:10:26.320 empire I have to have somebody beside me who at least says the words you gotta at least say the
00:10:33.960 words i got you i'm i'm on your team nobody can talk bad about you to me you are you're mine we
00:10:43.300 are together i need to feel that that passion that hunger that grit and i'm only a woman i can't teach 0.98
00:10:53.260 you how to be a gritty motherfucker i can't i just don't even know what she's saying let's move on 0.98
00:10:59.600 next one all right um good luck in the streets my girl all right a new girl um get ready with 1.00
00:11:06.000 me to break up with my boyfriend of four years it doesn't feel real this has been one of the
00:11:12.840 hardest decisions and it's definitely going to be one of the hardest videos i ever make i'm scared
00:11:18.540 i'm heartbroken but i know i know it's time i know it's past time and i just hope someday
00:11:25.660 he's able to see that this really was in both of our best interests i've always known this day
00:11:31.580 would come i just never really knew when i would actually have the courage to do it and today is
00:11:37.900 that day we met in college we were dorm room neighbors and at that time it felt like right
00:11:43.640 person right time like everything was perfect we had routine it was comfortable it was what went
00:11:48.120 wrong and it made sense i was so in love really thought this is it i'm never gonna have to date
00:11:52.940 again like i found my person found my soulmate this is the one i'm gonna marry but as we all
00:11:57.340 know things change and that's our situation i graduated college a year and a half ago we moved
00:12:02.820 out together even though he was still in college and was really super excited you know like this
00:12:07.900 is my first time out of school i'm ready to kind of explore this life travel chase my dreams getting
00:12:13.800 to know myself and somewhere in that process i realized i was outgrowing the version of myself
00:12:18.300 that existed in that relationship it was translation uh when she was growing she was
00:12:24.120 meeting hotter men that were better than her boyfriend in every way and she wanted to be with
00:12:27.720 another boyfriend like so difficult felt myself almost having to shrink down to fit into the
00:12:33.740 relationship that's kind of when problems really started to happen i've known in my gut that i was
00:12:39.040 not in the right relationship for me for about two years now but i loved him so much that i just kept
00:12:45.040 thinking to myself things will change and I think when we hit that four year mark hit it in April I
00:12:49.440 kind of did some deep reflecting I've been like journaling about this because it's been something
00:12:53.460 that's been on my mind for quite a while now and I noticed some repeated patterns that I was just
00:12:58.260 hoping and wishing would change but they weren't changing and another thing I feel like I should
00:13:02.660 add I don't want to change a person to like fit with me like I want to find something that's just
00:13:07.800 natural yeah but nothing's natural men and women are so different that you you do like I don't know
00:13:13.980 funny couples that don't change a little bit to be with somebody we just got to a point where we
00:13:17.860 didn't really see eye to eye anymore I realized our goals for the future didn't really align
00:13:22.320 just certain like things that are definite deal breakers for me and I was hoping it would change
00:13:26.680 but that was wishful thinking I think the part that makes all of this so hard is nothing catastrophic
00:13:33.220 happened like there wasn't any big explosive breakup moment no cheating none of that and
00:13:38.960 that's somehow even more difficult to walk away from so I packed up four years of my life and
00:13:44.380 moved last week told them that it was kind of just to find myself and like self-growth which
00:13:48.640 it totally was but it was also to separate from the situation and give myself that clarity are
00:13:54.060 you making the right decision almost immediately I felt some sort of like peace that distance gave
00:14:00.400 me clarity that I needed and I just had to sit down and admit to myself this is not the love
00:14:05.740 that i want to keep choosing but moving away has been so hard we do like our nightly facetime calls
00:14:12.980 i almost felt like i had to like act like everything was all fine and dandy even though
00:14:16.760 it wasn't and i've been holding it in feeling like i'm living that's the thing women like we
00:14:21.260 feel a certain way for a long time before we break up with someone and so mentally when we break up
00:14:26.640 we've been broken up for like six months i like that honestly broke me as much as this breakup
00:14:32.340 is going to hurt. I feel like I'm going to feel relieved. I don't have this weight on my chest
00:14:37.380 anymore. It feels like my life's on pause until I get the thing done. Dragging it out is just
00:14:41.920 hurting myself and him more. This is not fair to either of us. I need to do the hard thing that
00:14:47.620 needs to be done. Loving someone and choosing someone are two very different things. You can
00:14:51.720 love something while still realizing it is not good for you. It's just whether or not you choose
00:14:56.640 to walk away. And now I'm choosing to walk away for both of our own goods. I know for a fact I'm
00:15:02.180 one that has to do it in order for it to be done even though we both know that this has to happen
00:15:06.740 i just had to be honest with myself and realize we are not bringing out the best version of each
00:15:11.620 other anymore this is not really a healthy relationship anymore now i have to act i am
00:15:16.740 terrified to start over i don't want to live a life out of fear i want a deep love i know some
00:15:22.420 people might be wondering like why are you making a video about this whole thing i need this for my
00:15:26.660 coping process all right my boyfriend was very private and he kind of wanted me also to be
00:15:31.780 private which just isn't me i'm very extroverted i love talking and having fun and then done
00:15:38.100 pretending to be someone that i'm not and i also know i am again because who we are is kind of
00:15:42.820 insufferable so we have to be a different person it's definitely not the only person out there
00:15:46.500 who's going through a situation like this and holding on to something that is slowly killing
00:15:50.500 them i'm truly in my heart of hearts doing what i feel is right all right last one all right let's
00:15:56.980 see let's see this lady break up brunch all right so today i broke up with my boyfriend because oh
00:16:02.500 my god he told me he couldn't be in a relationship anymore due to the fact that he needed to work on
00:16:07.380 himself alone i was like hey i'll support you through this if you want because i care about you
00:16:12.420 and he was like no i need to do this alone so this happens we're in my bed i break up with him
00:16:17.620 and then he's just wait what you got dumped so today so this happens we're in my bed i break
00:16:24.660 up with him we haven't changed the story this happened where you a girl say she dumped a guy
00:16:29.780 and it was totally the other way around and then he's just kind of lingering around i'm like what's
00:16:33.540 going on he's like i'm just processing i was like okay um i was like i don't want to be in my bed
00:16:40.020 anymore somebody i broke up with so i'm gonna go get coffee like do you want to come get coffee
00:16:44.100 he's like oh we're just gonna keep hanging out after this and i was like no no not what's gonna
00:16:48.100 happen i get coffee and we're walking there together he's like trying to put his arm around
00:16:52.980 me and i'm like at the coffee shop he's like hey i'm like hungry do you want to like go get some
00:16:56.980 brunch so we went for a breakup brunch uh this to me is unheard of i'm usually like used to like
00:17:05.060 hey let's scream at each other to leave each other's phone numbers yeah because when you're
00:17:08.660 younger you care more you care less you know the bonding ability and you know people get used to
00:17:13.380 um basically the death of your best friend or love or whatever in this in this world forever
00:17:19.380 And then we, he walked me back to my house and he hugged me by and I was just like, what just
00:17:26.320 happened? So today. All right, guys. Um, I wish you ladies luck out on these streets. It'll probably
00:17:32.520 go terribly. You'll probably get pumped and dumped, but someone's going to do it again. Um, so we'll
00:17:36.900 just watch this process go over and over and over. Like the video, subscribe. Thanks for putting this
00:17:41.780 on the internet, ladies. I need stuff to react to. I'll see you next time. 1.00