Pearl - January 31, 2025
Do MEN Believe Having A Second Marriage Is Worth It? | Pearl Daily
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Words per minute
182.26343
Harmful content
Misogyny
27
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Toxicity
4
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Hate speech
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Summary
Why are men more likely to remarry than women? In this blog post, we will explore the various reasons why men opt for second marriages. While second marriages are stigmatized in society, it is important to understand the different perspectives and perspectives that lead men to get married again.
Transcript
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Why are men more likely to remarry than women? Now on my channel I say that it's not in a man's
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best interest to get married. As you guys know I went into the red pill thinking that marriage was
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a good deal for men and the red pill is kind of interesting because before you see it you kind of
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some of the stuff sounds far off or weird but then you get older and you live a little more and you
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realize the red pill is right. It is 100% correct and most of the people that criticize the red
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pill actually are representations of why you know like destiny right now. He said the red pill was
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wrong and then his wife left him for a streamer. Now the divorce rate in the United States is standing
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at just over 50%. This means you have a coin flip chance of staying married. If the coin lands on
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heads you stay married and you're probably going to end up staying with a woman that bosses you around
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and refuses to sleep with you. Your chance of your wife gaining 20 pounds or more in the first five
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years of marriage are 80% and remember that's only five years it goes up as they get older. If the
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coin lands on tails you're getting divorced because you will end up in divorce court. Your kids get taken
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away. You pay child support and in some cases you'll pay alimony. You'll have to start all over. Now let's
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paint the picture. We have Robert. He's a plumber. He graduated high school, chose to go into the trades
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and started his career as an apprentice plumber. Worked his way up to a journeyman and meets a woman right
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around the age of 25. He marries a girl at 27 and has two kids with her. The marriage slowly
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deteriorates. Over the course of seven to eight years his wife gained weight. He doesn't get sex.
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There's no food on the table for him to eat and he's forced to do things he doesn't want to do on
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the weekends to make some woman happy that doesn't even love him anymore. So 35 comes around and Robert
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comes home from a long day of work to get divorce papers shoved in his face. The wife decides to leave
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and take the kids. There's nothing he can do about paternity court divorce court rips Robert's life
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apart and he has to get alimony and child support. But despite all this Robert wants to get married
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again. 35% of men will remarry after getting divorced. That's right after getting screwed in
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a divorce court and paternity court by their wife who decided to leave to go find herself or sleep with
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Gavin the bartender, Tyrone the personal trainer. One out of three men will choose to get married again.
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Now let's look at the stats when it comes to second marriage. Women initiate two-thirds of divorce in
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first and second marriages. 90% is the risk of getting divorced in a second marriage compared
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if it had been the first marriage for that couple. Two out of three marriages. Two out of three marriages
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will make it to their 10th anniversary but only one out of three marriages will make it to their 25th
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anniversary. After a first marriage it generally takes someone four years to get married a second time.
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Women who grew up in a two-parent family are less likely to divorce a second time. 33% than women
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who came from a blended or single family. 49%. 15% is the percentage of second marriages that will end
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after just 36 months. One in four second marriages will end after five years. If a sibling goes through
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a second marriage and divorce then the person is 22% more likely to get divorced themselves. For a second
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marriage the average age for a woman is 37. For men in a second marriage it's 39 years old. About 6%
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of American couples divorce, marry, and then remarry each other. Half of all Americans kids will see
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their parents divorce and half of those kids will see their parents get a second divorce. Now let's look
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at the reasons that men get married again. In this blog post we will explore the various reasons why men
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opt for second marriages. While second marriages are stigmatized in society it is important to
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understand the different perspectives and circumstances that lead men to make this joint.
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One of the reasons why some men choose to get married for a second time is financial stability.
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Many men believe that marrying a wealthy woman can improve their financial status and provide them
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a comfortable lifestyle. They see second marriage as an opportunity to elevate their social status and
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gain access to a higher circle. On the other hand some men are financially stable but still opt for
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second marriages. For them it is often a marriage or a matter of personal preference or habit. These men
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may have a desire to experience the thrill of a new relationship or simply enjoy the companionship of
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multiple partners. Emotional connection and romance. Another reason why men pursue second marriages is the need for
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emotional connection and romance. Some men feel that their first marriages lack the passion and excitement
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that they desire and they believe that a second marriage can fulfill their emotional needs. These
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men can find themselves attracted to women who are more expressive and romantic. They appreciate the
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affection and attention they receive from their second wives which they may not have experienced from a
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previous partner. For many men second marriages come later in life when they have achieved personal
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growth and success. These men have focused on their careers or other priorities during their first marriage
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and now seek a partner who can match their level of achievement. As these men become more successful
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they often attract women who are equally accomplished. They appreciate the intellectual
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stimulation and shared goals that come from being in a relationship with someone who's on their level.
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In some cases men opt for a second marriage due to unfulfilled expectations or compatibility issues in
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their first marriage. They may believe that their first wife does not meet their emotional and physical
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needs and they believe finding a new partner will provide them with the satisfaction they seek.
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The conclusion is that while second marriages are often met with judgment and skepticism it is
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important to recognize each individual's circumstances and motivations are unique. The reasons behind
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men choosing to pursue second marriages vary widely from financial stability to personal growth to
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emotional fulfillment. Has everybody seen that clip of the divorce lawyer talking about second marriage
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divorces and how he's actually observed moms getting sick of doing everything and divorcing? He just
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kind of skirts the second marriage question. Typically first and second marriages have different
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requirements to them. First marriages usually happen a little bit younger. They're to establish a family
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home and a family usually often to have children which increases the overall responsibilities the load
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all of that kind of stuff. Second marriages however a lot of the child kind of rearing is mostly done
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if not all the way done. Second marriages a lot of times the children are already out of the home
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and in here the second marriages that come in to see me very often they're started out with the explicit
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goal or desire I guess of having a partner for one another. They want someone to travel with go out with
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and yeah have a lot of really hot schmexy time with. The first marriages I see yeah we'll spend time on the
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couch debating who's doing what in the household but the second marriages I see we don't do that. We spend time
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trying to figure out why we aren't enjoying each other as much as we want to. Okay so the first
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marriage was for children and the second marriage is for fun. Marriage is hard but you know what's even
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harder? The odds are stacked against you. There's the negative stereotypes, the non-traditional family
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structure and holidays, the scars it leaves behind and the emotional triggers. A lot of times the second
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spouse is guilty until proven innocent where the first spouse didn't really have that problem. They
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were the ones who whittled away the trust, hence the divorce. But there are some distinct advantages.
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It's a chance to start over, to start fresh. It's finding love again. You're more aware of the pitfalls.
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You're more willing to work harder on your marriage and avoid complacency. You're really determined to
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do it right this time and you usually have more in common. You share a lot more of the same goals
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in the bigger picture. You value your time together more. Generally you learn to compromise better and
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you're more self-aware and studies show you have more and better sex. You can't deny your past hurts or
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your triggers. The key is to learn to work on them together to improve in your marriage as a team.
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What you really don't want to do, and this can be hard, is you don't want to show up less than you
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did the first time. You shouldn't trust less. You shouldn't give less. You try not to repeat the
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same habits. The communication is fucking key. Has talking to women more made them argue with you less?
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Or does it just give them more things to pick apart? Guys, women that say that communication is key,
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men that say communication is key, there are men that listen to women and what they say. And women
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that say that communication is key, either A, have no emotional control and need to tell the guy every
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single emotion, or B, they like to fight. So that you can work past all that stuff. And then your bond is
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even stronger. And it's scary, but you have to be vulnerable. You have to have realistic
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expectations. You got to catch yourself and check yourself when you might be treating somebody
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differently because of something that has nothing to do with them. And that's not easy. But acknowledging
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it, that's the first step. Dealing with it, that's the next step. But it's this kind of growth
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that really makes that second marriage so special, and so much more fulfilling. The Gottman Institute
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talks a lot about this stuff, about trust and intimate relationships. And one of their famous
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quotes from their research and interviewing people, writing books, blogs, you name it. Life gets better
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for those who have the courage to trust. Women talking about second marriage like it's a joke.
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Listen, I'm second marriage material. Go have your starter marriage, learn all the lessons,
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and then come and see me. And we will live like sexy, responsible adults who split bills,
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communicate, and leave each other alone most of the time.
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Fellas, who's going to do it? I know it's one of you. Now, here's another one. It's a woman who has
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remarried and husband adopted her two kids. So if you follow me for a bit, you know that I am married
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again. This is my second marriage. And I came into our marriage with two kids. My husband came in with
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three. So we have five together. He actually has adopted my kids. So I have two kids and three step
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kids, and he has five kids. So anyhow, I want to say this. If you want to have a big blitz of a wedding
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and party, do it. This might not be your... If you want to see if a girl likes you, if she says she
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wants to get married, courthouse. Let's go to the courthouse. If she hesitates and argues with you,
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hate to break it to you. The wedding is attention central for women. Remember, we get off on attention.
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So if women want a big wedding, usually they want the wedding, the attention of the wedding. They
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don't really want the man. The best men really have is to take away more of the things that they get
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and see if they stick around. First wedding, your first marriage, but it's your first marriage to
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each other. So why shouldn't you celebrate? Why do we often think like, oh, well, it's your second
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marriage or your third, whatever it is that you shouldn't have, that you should only have the big
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celebration for your, if it's your first marriage. Because when we do that, we immediately downgrade
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that subsequent marriage and we should be lifting up and celebrating every marriage. So whether you
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want to elope, just get married, just the two of you or have a big extravaganza, do it because every
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marriage is one to be celebrated. Start off your marriage knowing that this is huge. It's big. It's
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important. And it's definitely a lot less important than your first marriage.
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My opinion is second marriages are less important than your first marriage. Look,
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first marriage, you at least sort of have a clean track record where we can say they might promise
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and mean it. Second marriage, I mean, at that point, you already broke your first promise.
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Why am I supposed to believe your second promise? Like, what does your word mean?
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Woman saying her second marriage is a great thing.
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Nah, marriage isn't as special the second time around. Wrong-o.
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Let me tell you why that is absolutely not true for me. I was married from 2014 to the end of 2016,
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divorced over the course of the- Look, your second marriage by definition cannot be as special the
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second time around. It literally cannot. Definition of special. Different than usual. Better, greater,
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otherwise different than usual. Unusual. So if marriage is something you're doing over and over
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again and divorcing, that's kind of usual. In my opinion, the only thing men can get in 2024
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is genuine desire from women. And the red pill talks about this. I have a friend and he's a total
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player. And his experience is he's the type that as women approach him. But to his surprise,
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he took a couple women's virginities and he said he couldn't believe how little it meant to them.
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They did not care. They were ready to go off into the world and be a whore. And I thought about it
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and I thought, okay, so if now women, and that kind of matches with what the stats say and, you know,
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what I've seen in life, because if women really thought their virginity was something special and
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marriage was special, they wouldn't leave, right? They would treat it as if they're special. The only
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thing I really see that men can get is genuine desire from a woman. So, you know, those women
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that completely destroy their families for like one guy, that's what you want to get. I mean,
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that's pretty special. If you're the guy, now I know you're thinking, no, I'm not saying take her
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seriously. Clearly a woman that does that's mentally ill. But that's the most unique thing
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you're going to get. A woman that destroyed her family to be with, like, imagine you hook up with a
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woman, maybe you knew she was married, you don't care. You find out she left her whole family to be
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with you. That's pretty unique. That's honestly more special than most marriages these days. That dynamic?
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Now anyways. Divorced over the course of the end of 2016-2017, and I got remarried to my soulmate
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in 2022. Let me tell you why it was so much more special the second time around. The first time
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around, I was young. I had gut feelings telling me that it was the wrong thing, and I didn't listen
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to them because I listened to all the people around me telling me that it was wedding jitters. It was
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normal. Blah, blah, blah. The second time around, I was as confident as I've ever been in my entire
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life. Not only that, but I had the knowledge of all of the things that I did in my first wedding
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that I knew that I either did or did not want to do again. My first wedding day went by so fast.
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My opinion, second marriage is courthouse only. There's no point. Her other video says healing is
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never done. Lord help the man that signed up for that. And so on my second wedding day, I was able
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to be fully present all day. I took the time to stop throughout the day, recognize what was going
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on around me, and attempt to slow down time. In doing this, I have way more long-term memories of
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my wedding day the second time around than I did the first time around. I also learned that all of the
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things I regretted from my first wedding were the things that I did to appease other people. So the
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second time around, I didn't do that. And he and I eloped on the beach with 30 people,
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our closest 30 people. I did everything the way that we wanted to for. The way we wanted to or she
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wanted to. What's your guess? What is your guess? I didn't do anything for looks or appearances. I did
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everything to honor our relationship and our love story. You want to know another reason why it was
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more special? Everyone around us knew it was right. Our speeches were better because they were genuine.
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And when people were speaking from the heart, saying how happy they were, they meant it.
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Versus the first time around, when my entire family didn't actually agree with the marriage,
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and they gave speeches because they needed to, not because they wanted to. Not only that,
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but I cannot tell you how different it is to walk down an aisle towards your soulmate than it is to
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walk down the aisle towards someone who isn't right for you. Of course, during my first marriage,
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I didn't know that. I didn't know I was walking down the aisle to the wrong person,
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and I loved my first wedding. But then there's hindsight. And then I learned. And then I met
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my soulmate and felt how different it is. Walking down the aisle to him was worlds different. And so,
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so special. More special. And more me. More him. More us. More sentimental. More joyous. More carefree.
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More at ease. Literally, it was just more. So maybe if you've married multiple times,
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it wasn't as special for you. But it sure as fuck was for me. Okay. Soulmate equals simp. That's true,
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actually. Yeah. Anxiety comes from alphas. Simps offer security. Well, while she is talking,
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there's a guy in the background playing a video game, just happy he's not being bothered. I think
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that's why women get so many TikTok accounts. Because the men just want their wives to leave them alone.
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You'll leave me alone for four hours a day and do TikTok? And they're like, fine. And they're not
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really on social media. So they're not really looking, right? And so they're thinking things
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are good. And their wife is telling all of the family's most intimate secrets on TikTok.
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Oh, too funny. Okay. Attorney warns stepmoms about putting their name on the deed in case their new
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husbands pass away. Pearl, stop spilling the game. Men want to be left alone, but not be lonely.
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No. Why do you think I'm here? I spill the game on both genders. To get really good insights on what
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I talk about. I talk to date like guys that coach men on this stuff. And really, you're not going to
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get a better insight into what's going on. There's people you can talk to that will give you more
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information than ever. One is people that live in the front of apartment complexes. The women can lie,
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but your doorman will not. They see everything. That's one. Another one to get really good information is men
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that coach men in dating. Because they deal with men that are married having problems. Men that are
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young and just don't know. Like I talked to one coach. He gets guys laid within three weeks from
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virgins. That's what he does. And he said the men that listen, it's like a month. He said the men that
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don't listen a year. Depends how stubborn the guy is. Now, and I ask very specific questions. So I'll ask
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like, okay, a guy that's getting laid. How many are in its harem on average? A guy that's just a
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relationship guy. I ask very specific questions to figure out the frequency of things. All I'm
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saying is yes, I'm going to keep spilling the tea. Okay, let's keep going. This has just got to be
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said because I can't take it anymore. Imagine being your second marriage and you've been married for
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30 years and y'all have had a loving relationship and you have children from another marriage and he
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has children from another marriage and for God's sake, what happens next is just traumatic. Your
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husband passed away. But the house that you are living in is in his name and your name was never
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put on a deed and the children make you leave the house as soon as that funeral is over. This is real
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life stuff. This is really, this really, really happens. Change the deed. It is very important that
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in your lifetime, if you're in a second marriage and y'all have been together for a long time,
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you change the deed. Joint tenant with writer survivorship with both names on it. And that way,
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if something were to happen to him, the house automatically goes to you. If something happens
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to you, it automatically goes to him. Because I always tell people, the worst comes out of individuals
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at weddings and deaths. Change those deeds. Women talking about second wife advantage. So this woman,
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I liked her video. She talks about men actually learn from relationships and they get better every
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time. Women, we get worse every time, unfortunately. As someone who has dated men that come from divorce,
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despite the stigma attached to people having failed marriages, I can honestly testify to the fact that
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there are advantages to being a second wife. In the few cases that I can recall, there was one in
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particular where the man was the one to initiate his divorce. And as I've mentioned on my channel
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before, 69% of divorces are initiated by women. So I was really intrigued to see what made him want to
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walk away from his marriage. The marriage that he described to me was one where his partner was not
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very supportive. She wasn't very friendly. She was very unkind to him and she really was not affectionate.
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And they did not have sex as much as he felt they needed to in order to foster that intimacy.
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There were a host of other issues, but based on what he told me, I really did understand why he felt
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compelled to walk away and why he felt like it was unsalvageable. In the other instance I can think of,
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it was the opposite. This couple had been together for a really long time and she felt like she didn't
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have her own identity in their marriage. Everything kind of revolved around the kids and he was very
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emotionally and physically unavailable and didn't really make a lot of time for her and to foster
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their own form of intimacy mentally and physically. And again, it's the same kind of feeling as, you
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know, the first one where you can understand why someone would feel the need to walk away from
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something after enduring years and years of that. In both cases though, I did find both men to be
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incredibly self-aware, incredibly reflective about how they contributed to the demise of their marriage
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and things that they wish that their partner did differently. Ultimately, I felt like these men had a
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perspective that you can really only have if you've gone through a really monumental breakup or in their
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cases a divorce. I think the biggest advantage of being a second wife or of dating someone who
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comes from a failed marriage is the perspective that they have, is their ability to look back at
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something and say, okay, well, here's what we did wrong. For a lot of people, not just men and not just
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divorcees, but women and people at any stage of their life, there are certain lessons that are learned
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with time and with retrospect. And there are a lot of things that as we go through, we don't really
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know what is happening until we've had time to kind of stop and assess everything. For me personally,
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I don't, I don't want to be with a man who is learning lessons that I feel should be very obvious.
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Like not being physically or emotionally unavailable for me just sounds like absolute hell. And so if
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this person really did not understand how important that is until his wife ended his marriage, and that
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is now a lesson that he has, one that I will benefit directly from, yeah, sign me up. I mean, it makes a lot
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of sense if you think about it, right? Like think about the first couple people that you, that you dated when
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you first got into the dating scene. You don't really have the best idea of what you're looking
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for, what you want, or of who you are. And I think it, it's the same thing in marriage. Despite it being
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such a massive commitment, there are so many people that have given me anecdotal stories about the
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circumstances under which they married. Well, we were together for a couple of years. Well, I was
00:23:40.360
pregnant. All my parents were pushing me to pop the question. It's not uncommon for people to
00:23:46.640
marry because they feel like they have to, which leads me to my next point. If a man is dating you
00:23:53.420
intentionally, despite coming from a failed marriage, especially if he is expressing interest
00:24:00.120
in marrying again, know that he is going to devote so much more of himself to that second marriage
00:24:07.400
than he did the first time around. Why? Because he's experienced the heartbreak of a divorce.
00:24:14.760
Men and women experience heartbreak totally different. Yeah, totally. But they still experience
00:24:21.260
heartbreak. In both of the relationships that I cited, even the man that initiated the divorce
00:24:27.940
had his own heartbreak and having to walk away from his marriage. So the chances of him going into
00:24:36.400
something else all willy nilly and wanting to experience that all over again are slim to none.
00:24:43.680
So all of this is to say, if you are dating and you come across men that have a failed marriage or
00:24:51.600
they're coming from a divorce, don't be so quick to write them off. Sit down with them, get to know them
00:24:57.200
and try and find out what happened in that relationship that caused it to fail. And if you
00:25:04.400
find that this man is reflective and analytical and open and honest, and more importantly,
00:25:11.520
determined to be different in the relationship that you are building with him than he was in his
00:25:17.840
marriage, you might want to just hold on tight because he wasn't his marriage, wasn't his marriage.
00:25:25.760
You might want to just hold on tight because he's looking for a happy ending, too. Right now,
00:25:30.720
she's just teaching women how to manipulate their second marriage. All right, guys. What,
0.84
00:25:37.760
Pearl, if women had to pay for weddings and marriages like men, they would not think about
0.92
00:25:41.920
second marriages is so cool and trendy. Well, I want to know what you guys think. Do you think men
00:25:48.240
should get remarried after they divorce? If you had a friend going through a terrible divorce and said
00:25:54.080
to you they wanted to get remarried, would you say do it? What do you guys think? Anyways,
00:25:59.920
guys, like the video on your way out, subscribe, and I will see you tomorrow. Bye.