Pearl - April 09, 2025


Do Modern Women Even Want to Be Moms Anymore？


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

190.31384

Word count

1,991

Sentence count

128

Harmful content

Misogyny

22

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the concept of nannies vs parents and how to deal with jealousy and resentment from a parent when it comes to a nanny's relationship with their child. We also discuss the benefits of a good nanny vs a good parent bond.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Nanny versus parents, how everyone can win the battle for the baby's heart
00:00:03.880 by the mom doing her job.
00:00:11.280 She won't though. She won't. I promise to God she won't. There's going to be something more
00:00:15.140 fun and cool and exciting than hanging out with these kids. This idea that the women just love 1.00
00:00:20.340 being mothers is the biggest cope, right? Because everyone, society says, you know,
00:00:26.800 women are natural nurturers, right? And the women, they're like, but you know, women, here's a 1.00
00:00:32.320 choice to kill your kids. And the women are like, we got to kill them. We got to. Abortion, we're 1.00
00:00:37.460 going to march for this. Okay. And then they're like, okay, well, I guess it's not a life, I guess.
00:00:44.380 Okay, sure. Okay, sure, ladies. And then they're like, okay, but you know, you guys can work and 0.99
00:00:49.940 save money. So in your 20s, you could save money for your kids, you know. And then in your 30s,
00:00:56.420 you can have a kid and then you have money for the kid, right? And you can stay home.
00:01:00.400 And the women are like, no, I'd rather just get Botox and liposuction and boob jobs and 1.00
00:01:06.600 clothes and go to events and travel. And I would rather do that instead of saving money to have a
00:01:13.280 kid, right? And I'd actually, when I have the kid, I do want to work and I want someone else to do the
00:01:19.800 job. But I want the cloud of the kid. So I definitely want. But it's like, you can have every shred of
00:01:24.920 evidence that a woman doesn't want to be a mother, but still society will say that we're like dying 0.99
00:01:31.480 to be mothers. I don't think so. I really don't. I think women like the control a kid gives over like 1.00
00:01:39.280 society and a man and like the attention they get from the kid. But I don't know if the moms really 0.99
00:01:45.060 like love their kids. You know, like a dad can have a kid that hates him and he still loves the
00:01:51.420 kid. But the mom, if the kid doesn't like, you get those overbearing mothers where they're like, 1.00
00:01:55.980 be a doctor, be a lawyer. And if the kid doesn't do exactly what the mom wants, it's like you have
00:02:01.520 hell on earth to pay. If you're having a hard time shaking off the feeling of jealousy or resentment
00:02:07.340 over your nanny's special bond with your baby, it's time to address the problem and be a mom, 0.76
00:02:11.480 right? We're going back to the answer. Quit your job, stay home, be a mom. Now, you know, 0.99
00:02:19.340 there's real situations like poverty, right? But we're not talking about those situations. We're
00:02:27.880 talking about the situations where the mom wants a three bedroom house instead of a two bedroom
00:02:33.260 apartment, right? The kid's going to be happier in the small house with the mom there.
00:02:38.080 But, you know, then Tracy sees Diane lives in the suburbs with a 10, you know, bedroom apart or 1.00
00:02:47.100 house or, you know, in the city and she's going to these events and yada, yada. Anyways, keep in
00:02:53.300 mind that most nannies are trying hard to bond with children in their care. If they fail at this,
00:02:58.200 chances are they won't remain employed for long and they don't want to displease the parents. On the
00:03:03.260 contrary, they're very interested in pleasing them. For that reason, it might be a good idea to talk to
00:03:07.420 your nanny about the problem. Start by saying you're thrilled that the bond she has with the
00:03:11.420 baby and you're happy that she, you know, you're happy with her work, but you're fired and I'm going
00:03:17.080 to be a mom now. That's how it should go, right? That's how it could go, you know, but no. Then
00:03:22.900 explain that you feel a little left out and would appreciate her helping strengthening the baby bond,
00:03:27.500 right? So now this is another cope because they're trying to get the nanny to do the work of bonding with 1.00
00:03:32.840 the baby. But instead they're like, can you do it for me? Can you make the baby like me?
00:03:39.460 And kids are pretty like, if a kid doesn't like you, kids love everybody. You know, if a kid doesn't
00:03:45.960 like you, something's wrong. Perhaps she can teach your child's favorite lullaby or some sort of soothing
00:03:52.480 techniques only good nannies know. If your child shows a preference for the nanny more than just
00:03:57.800 occasionally, it may be time to reestablish your connection with your little one. Maybe focus on
00:04:02.520 your child interacting with him or her in a relaxed, comfortable setting. You may need to sing,
00:04:07.420 dance, or act goofy as your work, as you work your way back into your child's heart, but he or she will
00:04:15.280 eventually fall under your spell. Infant massage, increased breastfeeding, or other forms of skin-to-skin
00:04:22.060 contact. If your baby continues to show preference for the nanny, again, it may be helpful
00:04:27.700 to go home. They're not going to do that, though. Get a work-from-home job, right?
00:04:34.680 For example, if there's a competition between the mom and the female nanny, switching to a male nanny 0.54
00:04:40.080 may be a solution. God, they just do everything to make these moms feel like they're not bad moms. 1.00
00:04:46.920 They're like, okay, we're going to get a male nanny. Male nannies, also called mannies, tend to be very fun
00:04:52.600 and energetic caregivers. They also may be less likely to displace mom in the baby's eyes. It's 0.99
00:05:00.680 important to keep in mind that although feelings of jealousy towards your nanny may crop from time
00:05:05.960 to time, this will be short-lived. Most parents whose babies love their nannies soon realize that
00:05:11.160 the nanny-baby bond is essential to the well-being of their child. Remember that parents usually go to
00:05:17.520 great lengths to find a nanny that is warm, loving, patient, and fun. What baby wouldn't want to fall
00:05:24.700 in love with such a person? And when your baby does, you can pat yourself on the back for providing for
00:05:30.320 your child a good caregiver until the caregiver goes to college and leaves and your kid is devastated.
00:05:38.280 It's usually how it goes. Okay. Here is a TikTok of a woman talking about her experience being raised
00:05:48.700 by nannies.
00:05:51.580 I'm Mia from LA. Please like and subscribe. Growing up, it was just me and my mom who was a famous
00:05:57.260 photographer working for big brands and celebrities. So you'd think with the photographer parent, I'd have
00:06:02.500 a beautifully documented childhood. Well, you'd be wrong. I hardly had any pictures because mom
00:06:08.260 was always too busy and I was raised by nannies. Sure, mom gave me everything, but she couldn't make 0.98
00:06:14.160 much time for me. She did try by setting up her studio at home, but once when she was in a meeting,
00:06:19.100 I slipped into her dark room and switched on the lights and all her photos were destroyed.
00:06:23.740 That nanny was fired and mom relocated her studio and then she hired a lady named Susan who was the 1.00
00:06:29.440 coolest. Susan could play hide and seek with me for hours. She'd always let me do her makeup and she 0.86
00:06:34.800 even taught me how to slide down our main staircase. She'd pitch up a tent in her backyard and then tell 0.92
00:06:39.800 me stories around a fire. And what a storyteller she was. She'd just make up magical tales in the
00:06:45.760 moment and I was hooked. What are you thinking, you lily-livered, yellow-bellied scallywag? 1.00
00:06:51.340 I was thinking you should be my mom. Susan laughed it off, but I was kind of serious. She even gifted me my 0.76
00:06:57.720 first notebook when I turned eight because she knew I loved writing stories and that meant more to me than
00:07:03.200 any of the presents mom had sent. Yeah, she couldn't make it to my birthday. Once when I was nine,
00:07:08.120 Susan had taken the day off and I ended up being stuck with mom at a photo shoot at some historical
00:07:13.120 building. Mom, I'm bored. Read your book, Mia. But I'm also hungry and sleepy. Think of something fun
00:07:20.500 to do for a little longer, okay? Okay. But you better come find me soon. Yeah, soon. So I skipped off to
00:07:26.500 find an amazing hiding place. I thought it was clear to mom that we were playing hide and seek. As I waited
00:07:31.700 for her in my spot, I dozed off and when I woke up, it was kind of dark. I tried to find my way back
00:07:36.940 to mom's shoot, but I was totally lost. Luckily, a security guard found me and took me to the nearest
00:07:41.860 police station and the only number I knew by heart was Susan's. Sometime later, both mom and Susan came
00:07:47.400 running in and I jumped straight into Susan's arm. What an L. Can you imagine? Your kid's running and
00:07:54.740 she like runs past you to the nanny. Sweetie, you really scared your mom. Give her a hug. But I was
00:08:01.580 so mad at her because she didn't come looking for me. Susan would have never let that happen. Soon
00:08:06.700 after in fifth grade, I came home from school one day to find a girl my age in the kitchen eating my 1.00
00:08:11.780 cereal. Who are you and why are you here? And who eats cereal for lunch? I eat what I want when I want.
00:08:16.780 You're not my boss. Now shoot. I was about to smack that thief in the face when Susan walked in and 1.00
00:08:21.720 she introduced the girl as Harper, her daughter. I didn't even know Susan had one. I felt a pang of 0.97
00:08:27.260 jealousy. Your mom has to travel out of town more often, so she's requested that I live here now.
00:08:31.960 And I'm moving in with Harper. Isn't that great? I'm sure you two will get along wonderfully. I was
00:08:36.480 certain that we would not. She was a nuisance. She threw away all my markers caps so they dried out, 0.98
00:08:42.340 spilled juice all over my bed to make it look like pee, and gave my favorite shoes to a stray dog.
00:08:47.080 But I only had to scream and Susan would tell her off. Harper would tag along with us everywhere and 0.99
00:08:52.700 she'd glare at me and make comments under her breath when Susan was out of earshot. If you don't stop
00:08:57.360 annoying me, I'll tell Susan. I wanted to know what happened. But yeah, so again, you got a couple
00:09:05.760 issues here. You got, when it comes to nannies, I'm going to give my final thoughts. You got a couple
00:09:12.420 issues, okay? If you get a good nanny, right? The challenge you have is the kid becomes attached
00:09:20.220 to the nanny and the nanny goes. So you fall in love, you're like super close to these nannies,
00:09:28.000 right? They're like your best friends. And then you're like, where did they go? And then you just
00:09:32.480 never see them again because they go to college, they go whatever. And then it's like a recycled
00:09:37.620 thing. Or you get a bad nanny and the child is tortured if the kid doesn't like the nanny.
00:09:43.720 Imagine you have to go home and see someone that you are not related to that you don't like
00:09:48.380 and is there indefinitely. Those are the challenges you got with nannies. Now, I don't think they're
00:09:55.520 the worst thing in the world if they're not the kid's primary caretaker. But the thing is the day-to-day
00:10:02.060 boring tasks are really what matters to a kid, right? It's like who's picking up the kid from
00:10:08.620 school? Who's eating dinner with the kid? Who's going to the sports games, right? That's the stuff
00:10:13.940 that matters. It's not like the big events or like a trip once a year, right? It's the small things day
00:10:20.940 to day. And I think a lot of moms are going to realize they kind of miss most of their kid's childhood.