Pearl - Do Modern Women Even Want to Be Moms Anymore？

00:00:00.000 Nanny versus parents, how everyone can win the battle for the baby's heart

00:00:03.880 by the mom doing her job.

00:00:11.280 She won't though. She won't. I promise to God she won't. There's going to be something more

00:00:15.140 fun and cool and exciting than hanging out with these kids. This idea that the women just love

00:00:20.340 being mothers is the biggest cope, right? Because everyone, society says, you know,

00:00:26.800 women are natural nurturers, right? And the women, they're like, but you know, women, here's a

00:00:32.320 choice to kill your kids. And the women are like, we got to kill them. We got to. Abortion, we're

00:00:37.460 going to march for this. Okay. And then they're like, okay, well, I guess it's not a life, I guess.

00:00:44.380 Okay, sure. Okay, sure, ladies. And then they're like, okay, but you know, you guys can work and

00:00:49.940 save money. So in your 20s, you could save money for your kids, you know. And then in your 30s,

00:00:56.420 you can have a kid and then you have money for the kid, right? And you can stay home.

00:01:00.400 And the women are like, no, I'd rather just get Botox and liposuction and boob jobs and

00:01:06.600 clothes and go to events and travel. And I would rather do that instead of saving money to have a

00:01:13.280 kid, right? And I'd actually, when I have the kid, I do want to work and I want someone else to do the

00:01:19.800 job. But I want the cloud of the kid. So I definitely want. But it's like, you can have every shred of

00:01:24.920 evidence that a woman doesn't want to be a mother, but still society will say that we're like dying

00:01:31.480 to be mothers. I don't think so. I really don't. I think women like the control a kid gives over like

00:01:39.280 society and a man and like the attention they get from the kid. But I don't know if the moms really

00:01:45.060 like love their kids. You know, like a dad can have a kid that hates him and he still loves the

00:01:51.420 kid. But the mom, if the kid doesn't like, you get those overbearing mothers where they're like,

00:01:55.980 be a doctor, be a lawyer. And if the kid doesn't do exactly what the mom wants, it's like you have

00:02:01.520 hell on earth to pay. If you're having a hard time shaking off the feeling of jealousy or resentment

00:02:07.340 over your nanny's special bond with your baby, it's time to address the problem and be a mom,

00:02:11.480 right? We're going back to the answer. Quit your job, stay home, be a mom. Now, you know,

00:02:19.340 there's real situations like poverty, right? But we're not talking about those situations. We're

00:02:27.880 talking about the situations where the mom wants a three bedroom house instead of a two bedroom

00:02:33.260 apartment, right? The kid's going to be happier in the small house with the mom there.

00:02:38.080 But, you know, then Tracy sees Diane lives in the suburbs with a 10, you know, bedroom apart or

00:02:47.100 house or, you know, in the city and she's going to these events and yada, yada. Anyways, keep in

00:02:53.300 mind that most nannies are trying hard to bond with children in their care. If they fail at this,

00:02:58.200 chances are they won't remain employed for long and they don't want to displease the parents. On the

00:03:03.260 contrary, they're very interested in pleasing them. For that reason, it might be a good idea to talk to

00:03:07.420 your nanny about the problem. Start by saying you're thrilled that the bond she has with the

00:03:11.420 baby and you're happy that she, you know, you're happy with her work, but you're fired and I'm going

00:03:17.080 to be a mom now. That's how it should go, right? That's how it could go, you know, but no. Then

00:03:22.900 explain that you feel a little left out and would appreciate her helping strengthening the baby bond,

00:03:27.500 right? So now this is another cope because they're trying to get the nanny to do the work of bonding with

00:03:32.840 the baby. But instead they're like, can you do it for me? Can you make the baby like me?

00:03:39.460 And kids are pretty like, if a kid doesn't like you, kids love everybody. You know, if a kid doesn't

00:03:45.960 like you, something's wrong. Perhaps she can teach your child's favorite lullaby or some sort of soothing

00:03:52.480 techniques only good nannies know. If your child shows a preference for the nanny more than just

00:03:57.800 occasionally, it may be time to reestablish your connection with your little one. Maybe focus on

00:04:02.520 your child interacting with him or her in a relaxed, comfortable setting. You may need to sing,

00:04:07.420 dance, or act goofy as your work, as you work your way back into your child's heart, but he or she will

00:04:15.280 eventually fall under your spell. Infant massage, increased breastfeeding, or other forms of skin-to-skin

00:04:22.060 contact. If your baby continues to show preference for the nanny, again, it may be helpful

00:04:27.700 to go home. They're not going to do that, though. Get a work-from-home job, right?

00:04:34.680 For example, if there's a competition between the mom and the female nanny, switching to a male nanny

00:04:40.080 may be a solution. God, they just do everything to make these moms feel like they're not bad moms.

00:04:46.920 They're like, okay, we're going to get a male nanny. Male nannies, also called mannies, tend to be very fun

00:04:52.600 and energetic caregivers. They also may be less likely to displace mom in the baby's eyes. It's

00:05:00.680 important to keep in mind that although feelings of jealousy towards your nanny may crop from time

00:05:05.960 to time, this will be short-lived. Most parents whose babies love their nannies soon realize that

00:05:11.160 the nanny-baby bond is essential to the well-being of their child. Remember that parents usually go to

00:05:17.520 great lengths to find a nanny that is warm, loving, patient, and fun. What baby wouldn't want to fall

00:05:24.700 in love with such a person? And when your baby does, you can pat yourself on the back for providing for

00:05:30.320 your child a good caregiver until the caregiver goes to college and leaves and your kid is devastated.

00:05:38.280 It's usually how it goes. Okay. Here is a TikTok of a woman talking about her experience being raised

00:05:48.700 by nannies.

00:05:51.580 I'm Mia from LA. Please like and subscribe. Growing up, it was just me and my mom who was a famous

00:05:57.260 photographer working for big brands and celebrities. So you'd think with the photographer parent, I'd have

00:06:02.500 a beautifully documented childhood. Well, you'd be wrong. I hardly had any pictures because mom

00:06:08.260 was always too busy and I was raised by nannies. Sure, mom gave me everything, but she couldn't make

00:06:14.160 much time for me. She did try by setting up her studio at home, but once when she was in a meeting,

00:06:19.100 I slipped into her dark room and switched on the lights and all her photos were destroyed.

00:06:23.740 That nanny was fired and mom relocated her studio and then she hired a lady named Susan who was the

00:06:29.440 coolest. Susan could play hide and seek with me for hours. She'd always let me do her makeup and she

00:06:34.800 even taught me how to slide down our main staircase. She'd pitch up a tent in her backyard and then tell

00:06:39.800 me stories around a fire. And what a storyteller she was. She'd just make up magical tales in the

00:06:45.760 moment and I was hooked. What are you thinking, you lily-livered, yellow-bellied scallywag?

00:06:51.340 I was thinking you should be my mom. Susan laughed it off, but I was kind of serious. She even gifted me my

00:06:57.720 first notebook when I turned eight because she knew I loved writing stories and that meant more to me than

00:07:03.200 any of the presents mom had sent. Yeah, she couldn't make it to my birthday. Once when I was nine,

00:07:08.120 Susan had taken the day off and I ended up being stuck with mom at a photo shoot at some historical

00:07:13.120 building. Mom, I'm bored. Read your book, Mia. But I'm also hungry and sleepy. Think of something fun

00:07:20.500 to do for a little longer, okay? Okay. But you better come find me soon. Yeah, soon. So I skipped off to

00:07:26.500 find an amazing hiding place. I thought it was clear to mom that we were playing hide and seek. As I waited

00:07:31.700 for her in my spot, I dozed off and when I woke up, it was kind of dark. I tried to find my way back

00:07:36.940 to mom's shoot, but I was totally lost. Luckily, a security guard found me and took me to the nearest

00:07:41.860 police station and the only number I knew by heart was Susan's. Sometime later, both mom and Susan came

00:07:47.400 running in and I jumped straight into Susan's arm. What an L. Can you imagine? Your kid's running and

00:07:54.740 she like runs past you to the nanny. Sweetie, you really scared your mom. Give her a hug. But I was

00:08:01.580 so mad at her because she didn't come looking for me. Susan would have never let that happen. Soon

00:08:06.700 after in fifth grade, I came home from school one day to find a girl my age in the kitchen eating my

00:08:11.780 cereal. Who are you and why are you here? And who eats cereal for lunch? I eat what I want when I want.

00:08:16.780 You're not my boss. Now shoot. I was about to smack that thief in the face when Susan walked in and

00:08:21.720 she introduced the girl as Harper, her daughter. I didn't even know Susan had one. I felt a pang of

00:08:27.260 jealousy. Your mom has to travel out of town more often, so she's requested that I live here now.

00:08:31.960 And I'm moving in with Harper. Isn't that great? I'm sure you two will get along wonderfully. I was

00:08:36.480 certain that we would not. She was a nuisance. She threw away all my markers caps so they dried out,

00:08:42.340 spilled juice all over my bed to make it look like pee, and gave my favorite shoes to a stray dog.

00:08:47.080 But I only had to scream and Susan would tell her off. Harper would tag along with us everywhere and

00:08:52.700 she'd glare at me and make comments under her breath when Susan was out of earshot. If you don't stop

00:08:57.360 annoying me, I'll tell Susan. I wanted to know what happened. But yeah, so again, you got a couple

00:09:05.760 issues here. You got, when it comes to nannies, I'm going to give my final thoughts. You got a couple

00:09:12.420 issues, okay? If you get a good nanny, right? The challenge you have is the kid becomes attached

00:09:20.220 to the nanny and the nanny goes. So you fall in love, you're like super close to these nannies,

00:09:28.000 right? They're like your best friends. And then you're like, where did they go? And then you just

00:09:32.480 never see them again because they go to college, they go whatever. And then it's like a recycled

00:09:37.620 thing. Or you get a bad nanny and the child is tortured if the kid doesn't like the nanny.

00:09:43.720 Imagine you have to go home and see someone that you are not related to that you don't like

00:09:48.380 and is there indefinitely. Those are the challenges you got with nannies. Now, I don't think they're

00:09:55.520 the worst thing in the world if they're not the kid's primary caretaker. But the thing is the day-to-day

00:10:02.060 boring tasks are really what matters to a kid, right? It's like who's picking up the kid from

00:10:08.620 school? Who's eating dinner with the kid? Who's going to the sports games, right? That's the stuff

00:10:13.940 that matters. It's not like the big events or like a trip once a year, right? It's the small things day

00:10:20.940 to day. And I think a lot of moms are going to realize they kind of miss most of their kid's childhood.

Pearl - April 09, 2025

Do Modern Women Even Want to Be Moms Anymore？

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