Pearl - Female Divorce Coaching Is Just Useless

00:00:00.000 whoring out gluck gluck 9000 that is a lot of fun that is a good time right women love being a whore 0.99

00:00:06.400 all right what up guys welcome to my reaction series today we're reacting to women talking 0.99

00:00:11.600 about the delusion that women have when they file for divorce so as you guys know a lot of single

00:00:16.160 mothers out there think um i can do better than my schlubby husband and i don't really blame them

00:00:22.320 because there's a lot of media and marketing saying that you can you know divorce your husband

00:00:27.280 and do better and there's a lot of simps that even at times the woman can do better but my question

00:00:32.400 is what is your body fat percentage because that is really going to dictate your future as a woman 0.99

00:00:37.600 your entire existence on this planet is hinging is is it's determined on how in shape you are so

00:00:47.440 most divorces begin with a woman latching onto a single very powerful belief it is clear seems

00:00:54.080 obvious to her and other people often reinforce this belief for her sometimes even her therapist

00:00:59.600 and the belief is this once i'm free from him my life will feel right yeah um so what happened is 0.99

00:01:06.000 women reproduced with men that they didn't really like they just wanted to get married and that's 0.99

00:01:10.080 very blinding um so then they have post not clarity which unfortunately for women it happens after the 1.00

00:01:17.280 baby it's like oh what a pickle right and um then we divorce our husbands and blame them 0.75

00:01:24.640 for a little while during separation or after divorce it actually feels true and this is when

00:01:30.800 you'll see behavior from your ex-wife you'll see her acting like she's relieved like she's happy

00:01:36.240 like she's living her best life she'll have this energy and this confidence and this new sense of

00:01:40.960 identity maybe she loses weight maybe she starts to take some pride in her appearance and who she

00:01:46.240 is and how she shows up in the world she makes new friends she starts dating and it is so devastating 0.99

00:01:52.240 because it feels like yeah because again she gets on hinge right and tinder and being a whore is a 0.95

00:01:57.520 lot of fun right whoring out gluck gluck 9 000 that is a lot of fun that is a good time right 1.00

00:02:03.840 women love being a whore uh if you want to know how much women love being a whore there was a 0.99

00:02:08.560 woman who got a cancer diagnosis and instead of spending her last like year with her husband and 1.00

00:02:13.520 family she said i'm gonna whore out see you guys i'm about to die i got nothing to lose anymore 0.88

00:02:18.000 whoring see ya it's fun and so the women get on tinder but um it's not till they ask the man who 0.97

00:02:24.800 what are we like you know three months in and he's like we're and that's it you know um 0.58

00:02:31.280 do they realize the gravity of their mistake you know that her belief is right like maybe she

00:02:36.320 really did just need to be free of you to be okay but i want you to hear this her behavior and the

00:02:42.400 relief that you're seeing from her this is not evidence that you were the problem in the marriage

00:02:46.880 this is not evidence that you were the problem in her life who cares um who's who is the problem

00:02:52.720 right it's over done we're not possessive of peace people you gotta let them go simply evidence of

00:02:58.960 how well she convinced herself that that was true which is why these shifts don't last after working

00:03:05.440 with several hundred men in my better beyond divorce program i have seen this cycle again

00:03:10.320 And again, you guys, these women feel better for six months, for a year, for two years,

00:03:15.920 but eventually they get pumped and dumped too many times and come crawling back.

00:03:20.560 They get in too much debt. They don't realize how much their husband did for

00:03:24.000 them day to day to make their life better. And they come crawling back to fall apart

00:03:28.960 and they end up unhappy again. They end up back in unhealthy relationships.

00:03:32.800 They end up feeling exactly the same pain and exactly the same kinds of problems

00:03:37.680 that made them want to divorce you in the first place so she's preparing for the divorce and

00:03:42.480 going through the divorce process she's convincing herself of this narrative she's decided you're the

00:03:47.840 problem and she's going to feel better without you you know the way she sees it the relationship

00:03:52.240 is causing her pain you are causing the problems in the relationship and if she removes you and

00:03:56.240 removes the relationship then she'll be fine and she'll feel better and for a little while that's

00:04:00.080 how it actually looks right she's like i can breathe again i can be myself i'm free to do

00:04:04.480 what i want to do and she starts to blossom and you see all this relief coming from her so the

00:04:10.000 initial relief she feels is real she actually is feeling that she's not faking it most of the time

00:04:16.000 she's not faking that she's like feeling good and feeling better without you but it is short-lived

00:04:21.200 so i want to help you understand why she actually yeah she does it because she's trying to do better

00:04:25.680 and it's going to fail sometimes they do succeed right i'm not going to pretend no women do better 0.98

00:04:30.000 i'm not delusional here some um leave your ass and you know find a chad and the chad just says 0.98

00:04:36.320 good enough and then they move on and live happily ever after but a lot don't um for every one 0.99

00:04:40.480 winner there's 10 losers does feel relief when the relationship ends and then also why that relief

00:04:45.680 is so short-lived and what's going to happen for her next so the truth is that the relationship

00:04:51.600 was stressful you guys had problems and if you look back on your marriage you're going to see

00:04:55.600 that there were things that weren't good for you in the marriage either. There is a relief

00:05:01.380 that comes for her when the stress of that relationship is removed. And she takes that

00:05:07.620 feeling of relief as proof that you see he was the problem. And you might take it as proof too

00:05:11.920 and be like, wow, I guess I was the problem. But removing the trigger is not the same as resolving

00:05:18.460 the underlying pattern distance from the trigger creates a temporary sense of calm but that's not

00:05:25.820 the same as healing you are not the only problem in the relationship in fact you aren't the problem

00:05:31.700 at all and neither was she there are patterns there is a cycle of interaction a negative cycle

00:05:37.740 of interaction between the two of you that led to this divorce she played a role in that her

00:05:43.140 attachment wounds her codependent tendencies okay this is this is why i'm not really the biggest fan 0.98

00:05:50.180 of of female divorce coaches or whatever what does that even mean your codependent tendency 0.93

00:05:56.260 like don't you want to depend on each other if you're married you know unresolved childhood

00:06:01.300 baggage and pain all of that played a role in the problems in your marriage your stuff played a role

00:06:07.140 in it too but so did hers and as long as she's ignoring that and thinking that you were the

00:06:12.660 cause of all of the pain, she's not actually healing. She's just getting away from the

00:06:17.580 trigger. She's literally removing herself temporarily from that cycle. And so she'll

00:06:21.900 feel good for a little while. And while she's feeling good, she'll go out and do new things,

00:06:24.860 right? She might start dating. She might have new experiences. She might start, you know,

00:06:29.300 following through on dreams that she had ignored for a lot of years and all of that novelty.

00:06:33.900 Yeah. So, you know, she's going to follow her career dreams. Maybe it's to be a dancer. It's

00:06:38.300 gonna be some bullshit that has a high failure weight rate doesn't make a lot of money and women 0.99

00:06:43.060 were always convinced that we would have been these famous people if it weren't for the man holding us 0.99

00:06:47.680 back but most of us it just was never in the cards keep her energized and excited for a little while

00:06:53.400 being in a new environment makes it easy to step out of old reactions but again distance from the

00:06:59.180 trigger and novelty is not the same as truly healing or changing and resolving old patterns

00:07:05.600 And so what you will see and what I see again and again in the ex-wives of my clients is that over

00:07:11.740 time, the old patterns start to creep back in. She'll find herself in a relationship where the

00:07:17.320 same kinds of conflicts are coming up or where she feels stifled or limited in the same ways.

00:07:22.620 She'll find that her confidence isn't really deep and strong and it gets shaken easily. She'll find

00:07:27.880 that she's repeating the same emotional patterns inside a new relationship that felt amazing in

00:07:33.920 beginning and over time her dissatisfaction in that relationship will start to climb and this

00:07:38.880 is because the original pain the pain that she felt that led her to ask for a divorce that pain

00:07:44.240 was not created inside the marriage it was activated in the marriage most relationships

00:07:50.880 especially most adult relationships are not actively creating new wounds they are revealing

00:07:56.880 old wounds they are triggering old existing patterns if you are a man going through an

00:08:02.560 unwanted divorce and especially if your ex blamed you for all of the problems in the marriage i so

00:08:07.680 want you to hear this yeah guys women's like party like women will throw divorce parties and again 0.98

00:08:14.640 we think the grass is always greener on the other side which is the majority of the time they're 1.00

00:08:19.680 single moms they're gonna get pumped and dumped i mean they're they're like mega used cars that's 0.87

00:08:24.800 kind of how the world views them i know you might have viewed her as the love of your life mother 1.00

00:08:28.080 or your kids but they're just used cars on the markets and women treat men like we treat jobs

00:08:34.080 and we will if we think we can find a better job we're gonna go look um but unfortunately we don't

00:08:39.760 realize when our qualifications suck because we're delusional you might be feeling like you ruined

00:08:44.480 everything like you were the problem like you lost this amazing person look at the woman she's

00:08:49.200 blossoming into without you and it's just not true if you believe that story if you believe those

00:08:55.760 thoughts. You are going to cost yourself years of your life. You are going to spend so much time in

00:09:01.260 shame and regret. You are going to be obsessed with what she's doing and the choices that she's

00:09:05.420 making. You are going to be in agony every time you see her with a happy post on Facebook or hear

00:09:10.820 about something she's doing from your kids. And you might also fall into a pattern of resentment

00:09:17.180 or need for vindication or anger towards her. And it is so, so tragic. And I see this happening to

00:09:23.560 so many men. There's going to be men in the comments of this video who are going to be

00:09:27.620 stuck in this pattern. Yeah, guys, who cares? She's not yours. It's just your turn. Move

00:09:33.740 on because really women, you can do younger, hotter. You can get a better bitch. You know, 1.00

00:09:40.780 there's women turning 21, 18, whatever every day. So anyways, guys, let me know what you

00:09:45.840 think of the comments. If you can, please like the video on your way out and subscribe

00:09:48.900 to the channel and I'll see you next time.

Pearl - April 20, 2026

Female Divorce Coaching Is Just Useless

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