Pearl - Feminist Don’t Want To Do The Hard Jobs @DrBronte

00:00:00.000 what up guys welcome to another episode of the sit down i am your host pearl and today i have a

00:00:06.080 special guest bronte remzik welcome to the show family medical resident right yes and tick tock

00:00:14.960 sensation you have over half a million followers on tick tock um and i would say your content is

00:00:20.560 pro-feminist right yeah i would agree and anything i missed no not necessarily that's pretty much

00:00:26.160 sums it up welcome to the show um first off i want to say thank you so much for coming you came all

00:00:31.440 the way out to our chicago studio and i always appreciate um sitting down with people that

00:00:37.040 disagree and so i think it's great that we can do this yeah i agree i've come across your videos

00:00:42.640 quite a few times and i've had a lot of my audience ask me like oh have you ever thought

00:00:46.800 about talking to pearl and then you reached out to me so i was like perfect so i'm happy to be here

00:00:51.200 so I think me and you maybe have different views on feminism so why don't we start with what

00:00:57.880 your general I really just want to understand your general worldview so what is your definition

00:01:04.240 of feminism so my definition of feminism is probably the broad overarching definition which

00:01:11.140 would be wanting equal opportunity and representation for women and you know feminine

00:01:16.740 presenting people i think that we should be equally represented in political and other kinds

00:01:22.500 of positions of power i think that we should be advocated for in our unique life circumstances

00:01:27.780 and the things that make us you know uniquely feminine and i think that we need to ensure that

00:01:34.180 women have all the opportunity that men are afforded okay so is your view today that we're

00:01:39.380 not being given the opportunity that we are like what what is your view on feminism historically

00:01:45.380 and like where is it needed today yeah so i think where this conversation especially in sort of like

00:01:52.260 conservative spheres gets confusing um is that you tend to focus more on like legal barriers that

00:02:00.020 there's no laws that are preventing women from obtaining certain opportunities applying for

00:02:04.660 certain jobs going to schools things like that where the more nuanced and modern view is there

00:02:09.780 are no longer any legal barriers but there are still plenty of societal barriers there's a lot

00:02:14.740 of discrimination things like um not having um like maternity leave the caregiving gap things

00:02:21.620 like that that disproportionately inhibit women from being able to go after certain opportunities

00:02:28.740 because of the responsibilities that heavily you know rely on us instead of having a lot of that

00:02:34.260 labor and unpaid domestic labor seen respected and divided okay so how does that translate in 2024

00:02:42.420 like how would that have affected me for example well i can't speak to you and your life experience

00:02:48.260 but i can speak to mine um so as a woman in medicine um that is a very long journey i had

00:02:54.580 to i got my bachelor's degree my master's degree my doctorate and now i have my well yeah but just

00:02:59.060 like a guy yeah yeah well but i'll explain to you how it has affected me so and i'm currently in

00:03:05.620 residency which is my post-doctoral training and so a lot of this has i've needed to dedicate

00:03:13.300 80 plus hours a week to studying to working in order to be able to have my dream job and so

00:03:19.780 something like starting a family has needed to be delayed because the from a biological perspective

00:03:27.460 I have to keep in mind that I do have a bit of a time clock, but that the academic

00:03:35.220 path that I've been on has primarily been designed for men. And there's not the

00:03:42.640 opportunities available to me to take pauses and to take maternity leave and to do a lot of the

00:03:48.740 things that women have to do in order to be able to go after the things that we want and get

00:03:54.560 everything we want out of life. And so I, and also there was a lot of times when I was in pre-med

00:04:00.100 where people would be like, Oh, are you sure you want to do that? Like, that's a very male

00:04:04.460 dominated field, things like that. And so there was constant doubt being pushed at me from a young

00:04:09.520 age of like, whether or not I should do this, whether or not I could do this. And none of my

00:04:13.780 male peers ever encountered that. And the same thing with like, people would ask me about,

00:04:19.220 Oh, but like, what about starting a family? Like, Oh, don't, why are you choosing your career over

00:04:23.820 family and none of my male peers ever had that question and so from a societal perspective it's

00:04:29.180 really just the assumption that women can't have both career and family and it's not true but a

00:04:36.060 lot of those barriers are because we don't allow our system to accommodate for those needs and

00:04:41.740 the differences that men and women have when it comes to enduring pregnancy childbearing child

00:04:46.860 care things like that so you started with academic how are there barriers in the academic field when

00:04:53.100 the majority of scholarships in stem go to women yeah and there's entire like there's women forced

00:04:58.940 like there's entire um parts of organizations that are pushing women to go into stem and it's really

00:05:04.860 not the same for men right and so i think again this goes towards like you have this idea of more

00:05:11.740 strict legal or like actual barriers to access where i'm talking in a more nuanced way of the

00:05:19.500 timeline that women find themselves in people who are already mothers people who want to become

00:05:23.580 mothers a lot of it does come down to families and child rearing and the responsibilities that

00:05:29.580 you have to balance both academically and with your family but even outside of like the family

00:05:35.020 dynamic just the discrimination that women will experience when it comes to us wanting to achieve

00:05:41.660 these higher level degrees and these more rigorous academic and like professional settings a lot of

00:05:49.020 people will automatically have doubt that we're capable of doing it and that comes from like

00:05:53.500 a society who are the people like who was saying this to you was it like how often did this happen

00:05:58.620 it happened a lot especially in undergrad when i was pre-med um i wasn't was it from your family

00:06:03.660 was it once a week like i'm trying to understand the frequency of this discrimination yeah so um

00:06:08.780 not my immediate family my immediate family has always been my my biggest cheerleaders okay um but

00:06:13.820 definitely extended family um people i was in a sorority in texas so definitely people who i

00:06:19.340 encountered um in undergrad a lot of my professors and advisors like they'd be like oh you know this

00:06:24.460 is a really rigorous uh path to go down like are you sure that you want to and then i would speak

00:06:30.220 to a lot of my male peers who were like in pre-med the same track as me and i'd ask like has anyone

00:06:35.580 ever told you like you couldn't do this or that you should think about something else and they

00:06:39.180 would all say no do you think it's because women quit more because i mean the data shows that women

00:06:44.300 quit careers in stem quicker than men right and that goes back to what i was talking about right

00:06:49.580 because you have to look at the reasons that they're quitting and a lot of times it's because

00:06:53.900 of things like discrimination against them which creates a hostile work environment and a hostile

00:06:59.260 academic environment or they're not able to balance like what is the discrimination it just

00:07:04.460 sounds like it's words you don't like like people say words that they don't like to men all the

00:07:09.580 time yeah well i mean i'm here right i'm a doctor now so it didn't bother me but it's i think it's

00:07:15.420 pretty disingenuous to believe that those words don't have an impact because words do matter

00:07:21.500 and when undergrad is four years plus my masters was one year my doctor it was four years and so

00:07:27.900 that's nine years of my life that i've had to endure people constantly bringing doubt to my

00:07:33.580 ability to accomplish this goal and i did it anyways and i'm extremely proud of that but i

00:07:38.780 also let me finish i also don't fault a lot of women for giving into that pressure and having

00:07:45.020 those years and years of people pushing that doubt onto them of course it's going to seep into a lot

00:07:50.700 of them and they're going to have that self-doubt because of all of the external doubt that's fed

00:07:55.260 their way yeah but i think the world doesn't care and men understand when they go into the world

00:07:59.820 that the world does not care about their problems and how they feel and the

00:08:03.720 problem is women go into a man's world and think that the world should care

00:08:06.900 about how they feel in their problems see and I think of it as the opposite

00:08:10.860 way I don't think that it's good that men's feelings aren't cared about I

00:08:14.940 think that we should care about everyone's feelings I think that we

00:08:17.340 should realize that our words matter and the way that our words impact people

00:08:21.620 matter and it shouldn't go to like oh well men don't care so we should just

00:08:25.620 say whatever we want and you shouldn't care I think it's the opposite I think

00:08:28.800 we need to be more compassionate and we need to understand the way that we impact people and

00:08:32.400 that's totally great if we have a wish list but this is the real world and not the way that the

00:08:36.880 we want the world to be and the problem is women go into a man's world and they have no idea how

00:08:41.520 harsh it is and how mean they are to each other and if you look at if you've ever been in a male

00:08:46.720 only dominated environment like um where it's pretty much all men there's only one or two women

00:08:51.120 you know they're harsher than women are they're more direct they speak in a different way

00:08:54.880 and the problem is women go into these spaces and they think that men should talk like women talk

00:08:59.440 and they don't right well again i i'm a dreamer right i i think that when it's not realistic is

00:09:05.840 the point and i disagree i think it's completely realistic to take people's feelings into account

00:09:10.640 it's called empathy i think that we need to promote empathy i don't think that we should

00:09:14.640 promote such a callous harsh world i think that we all need to be more kind and compassionate

00:09:19.680 to each other and i also think that the mental health outcomes of men proves that that's not a

00:09:24.320 good way to endure the world right but good is not a str like hope is not a strategy the way

00:09:31.840 that we want the world to be isn't how it is so it's really nice and dandy to say the world should

00:09:36.240 be this way but it isn't and men have an understanding of how the world is and they

00:09:40.080 don't complain so the thing is you keep talking about they complain all the time so i'll give you

00:09:45.440 an example so you you're talking about all this stuff that you endured in your career and that's

00:09:50.240 fine you know i think it's really great that you're a doctor um like it's very impressive that's

00:09:54.240 hard to do right yeah yeah it was very hard to do yeah yeah so like i'll give you props um however

00:10:01.120 you know when i have a cousin that works on a crab fishing boat in alaska where a guy dies

00:10:06.400 every single week so that we can get crabs like literally one person dies a week on that crab

00:10:12.320 fishing boat in alaska i don't have a lot of empathy for people that say these words hurt

00:10:17.280 my feelings and therefore i'm oppressed they don't complain they don't um cry about work conditions

00:10:24.080 they just do their job and it's a male dominated field women are not doing those jobs yeah so

00:10:29.920 that's called the fallacy of relative pervasion so saying that somebody else has it worse off

00:10:35.280 means that we shouldn't be able to talk about smaller problems like that's a fallacy both

00:10:39.680 things can be problems and both deserve to be talked about i don't think that it's right that

00:10:44.480 one person dies a week on crab fishing boats i don't eat crab i don't think it's necessary and

00:10:49.280 i am not saying that we shouldn't fish for crab like whatever but the we shouldn't say oh people

00:10:54.320 die all the time in this career and just because your feelings are hurt i don't have to care like

00:10:59.120 that's that's not an appropriate well i think what i'm getting at is how spoiled it makes people that

00:11:06.400 complain about those things seem when there are men dying to do jobs to give us crab and put

00:11:12.400 different food on the table or even um the number one workplace fatality for men in the midwest is

00:11:18.560 logging so you know when they're when you're sitting on a chair that's made of wood that a

00:11:22.400 guy died to get here it makes you look pretty spoiled when we're saying oh but people said

00:11:29.120 mean words to me in my career and it's not just you like i think it's just overall females careers

00:11:35.280 we're not really dying to put food on the table we're not dying to build the buildings we're not

00:11:40.080 dying to do any of these things and so i don't think we really have a right to complain that

00:11:45.680 it's we are so oppressed when men are doing most of the hard jobs in society yeah i mean you're

00:11:51.040 allowed to have that opinion it's the wrong opinion but you're allowed to have it i don't

00:11:56.000 think that anybody should die at their job i think that if we really want to talk about the way that

00:12:00.880 men enter into these dangerous career paths and the way that their lives are just seen as fodder

00:12:06.800 like they are just you know seen as expendable and i think that's wrong i think that there is

00:12:11.280 space for both conversations there's a space to say that men don't deserve to be harmed in their

00:12:16.560 workplace the same way that women don't deserve to be harmed in their work but men understand

00:12:20.960 that that's the only way things get done i don't believe i don't agree with that well you cannot

00:12:25.280 agree but how else has it ever been done you have always men have men have always died to protect

00:12:31.840 and build civilizations yeah and civilization is supposed to progress civilization is supposed to

00:12:37.440 improve on itself if we stay stagnant then we're doing it wrong if we're looking at these careers

00:12:42.240 and saying hey people are dying we should look at why they're dying and we should address it

00:12:46.800 and we should fix it we shouldn't just accept it yeah and i think that's a very female way

00:12:50.880 of looking at things because you've never been in that position where you have to pragmatically

00:12:55.280 solve those types of problems the same like the same way i'm not going to know how to stop the

00:13:00.240 men dying on fishing boats you're not going to know either right that's not my job right there

00:13:04.720 are people who have jobs easy to say oh this shouldn't happen the same way we could say like

00:13:09.600 we shouldn't have anyone die in war but we want to be safe do you not think that there are people

00:13:14.720 whose job is dedicated to improving worker safety like those jobs exist it's not my job it's not

00:13:21.440 your job but those jobs exist and you should argue that they need to have more responsibility they

00:13:27.200 need to be doing their job better like workers unions safety commissions like there are actual

00:13:33.760 jobs and committees and boards dedicated to worker safety and if they're not doing their

00:13:38.160 jobs appropriately then that's a totally separate conversation yeah and again this is all stuff that

00:13:42.720 sounds nice but it's just not very pragmatic again men have always died to protect and build

00:13:49.440 civilization the difference is in the past they used to get thank you and an appreciation and now

00:13:55.360 they don't because feminism has convinced women that our jobs are equally as important to men's

00:14:00.560 and they're not yeah and society is the only reason society exists is because it is built

00:14:06.480 on the backs of the unpaid and unrecognized labor of women sure men have died in war men have died

00:14:12.320 in dangerous jobs and i would argue that if women were in charge we would have less war and we would

00:14:16.960 have less death but that's not true women have waged more war in the last five or 500 years when

00:14:21.680 they were rulers yeah and you also have to look at who they had as their representatives and for

00:14:27.680 their council because this has been like highly studied that it wasn't necessarily their individual

00:14:32.880 choice a lot of it was like pressure right whenever women make a bad decision women have

00:14:37.280 the privilege of blaming it on someone else where men have to take the fall that's an interesting

00:14:41.600 perspective i disagree so going back to do you agree that men do most of the most difficult and

00:14:49.120 needed jobs in society no okay how would society keep running without men doing the infrastructure

00:14:57.680 jobs like logging fishing trucking oh do you mean like in the world wars when men left and women

00:15:04.640 took over those positions and we ran the entire country and took over the jobs that you say that

00:15:08.880 we couldn't no they didn't take over the majority of the jobs we did they did they took over factory

00:15:14.320 positions we took we took over the positions that they were not they were not doing the electrical

00:15:20.000 they were not doing the plumbing they were not building the buildings they were not there are

00:15:23.520 women electricians there are women plumbers like there are females in all of these positions there

00:15:29.200 are is it the majority no because it's not the majority because you have to take in the historical

00:15:35.520 perspective what is stopping a woman today from being a plumber and electrician as i said

00:15:41.120 discrimination why there's hostile workplaces because they are made to feel as if they don't

00:15:46.560 belong in those spaces and why would you want to exist in a space where you're constantly

00:15:51.200 you're constantly made to feel like you shouldn't be there by the men in those positions so men will

00:15:55.920 make women feel like they don't belong there and then complain that women aren't there so

00:16:01.120 what's your evidence for that what's my evidence yeah what's your evidence for that oh they've

00:16:05.760 studied it they've studied like workplace discrimination with women in electric and

00:16:12.400 male-dominated fields yeah and they've said that the women feel like they're not wanted

00:16:18.160 and that's why they're not doing not just not wanted not well that's very convenient you know

00:16:22.480 here's the thing men don't care if they're not welcome they don't expect people to just accept

00:16:28.640 them into a group like women do because again men live in the real world women do not we live in

00:16:34.800 this play pretend world where we're given more credit for what we actually do than we do so i've

00:16:40.640 seen you speak many times about the the detrimental effects that all of these things have on men's

00:16:47.280 mental health and that they have a higher rate of suicide they have all these things and so i think

00:16:51.600 that it's really interesting that you care a lot seemingly about men's mental health but then at

00:16:57.680 the same time you'll say oh men don't care if you're mean to them men don't care if you're not

00:17:02.160 they're not welcomed you say all of these things that have an impact on men's mental health so i

00:17:07.360 think to care about one you have to recognize how it impacts the other what i'm saying is men

00:17:12.400 understand that that's the real world and they know there's nothing they can do to change that

00:17:17.280 women go into women women go into a man's world and they expect to be given special treatment and

00:17:23.440 privileges they expect to be the new guy in a company and feel welcome i mean it's not abnormal

00:17:29.600 for men to haze somebody in a new group you might say that's wrong but it's not abnormal and they

00:17:35.400 don't complain they don't strike they don't protest they just accept it and they accept the

00:17:41.900 world as it is instead of doing a wish list that will never become true i mean do they really

00:17:48.240 accept it and are they really okay with it when the statistics behind men's mental health proves

00:17:53.620 that it does impact them they just internalize it women make sure that we we prioritize empathy

00:17:59.280 and communication. So when we feel like we're not being welcomed, when we feel like we're being

00:18:03.880 wronged, we want to improve the communication to improve the circumstance. We're better at

00:18:07.600 complaining. I would say we're better at communication. We're better at complaining

00:18:13.740 about the stuff we don't like, where men don't complain. That's what I said. Right. They don't

00:18:17.740 complain because they internalize it. And then instead, they just unalive themselves. That's

00:18:21.880 not a proper coping strategy. They don't complain because the world doesn't give them sympathy.

00:18:25.080 pretty women women young women get a ton of sympathy on the internet complaining about

00:18:30.940 their problems it's why they're given 10 times the funding for breast cancer research as instead

00:18:36.480 of prostate cancer it's because people care about women's issues people do not care about men's

00:18:41.800 issues i disagree why why do i disagree you could say you disagree but that's not an argument i mean

00:18:48.180 your arguments are just like oh that's silly and i live in reality like you're not giving me any

00:18:52.160 realistic like responses either well i'm i'm giving you realistic responses i said men do

00:18:56.640 the majority of infrastructure jobs they're the majority of workplace deaths and so based on those

00:19:02.480 two stats they have a harder work environment and they complain less yeah if you look at the

00:19:06.480 industries that strike and complain it tends to be female dominated industries because women are

00:19:12.880 better at complaining they want to do less of the work and they want more of the credit we care about

00:19:17.840 how we're treated as men should care how they're treated and they do care they just internalize it

00:19:22.320 just because they don't take action doesn't mean that they don't care so the next topic i think

00:19:27.840 we're going to go into is do you think society discriminates more against men or women or do

00:19:33.440 you think it's equal i think that they discriminate more against women but i don't that's not to say

00:19:38.320 that men aren't discriminated against um in some aspects okay how are women more discriminated

00:19:43.520 against um as i've said before um in my own personal experience and statistically other than

00:19:49.200 can we do something other than just people say mean words to me because men by the time they're

00:19:54.560 22 somebody said a mean word to them usually it's a woman so anything other than somebody said

00:20:01.200 something i don't like abortion vans can you name a law that controls what men can do and access

00:20:08.560 health care and the health care that men can access is there any laws that control men's

00:20:13.120 health care access well if you want to talk about men's body men are required to go into selective

00:20:18.480 service so if there is a war time they are required to be drafted yeah and i think that

00:20:24.240 so you asked for a law there's a law there's a way that women's bodies aren't protected there's

00:20:28.400 a way men's bodies aren't protected no so it's actually my question was different my question

00:20:32.240 was can you name a law that restricts men's access to health care that restricts men's

00:20:37.760 access to health care no not off the top of my head so there you go that's one discriminatory

00:20:44.400 women restricted access to health care you can drive to another state and get an abortion

00:20:49.280 yeah well then that's also not taking into account like socioeconomic factors right because not every

00:20:54.400 person has the ability or the funds or the time to be able to just cross state lines to gain access

00:21:01.280 we shouldn't have different health care access in different states your your geographical location

00:21:06.560 should not determine your access to a human right okay well again luckily for women we have access

00:21:13.840 to birth control abstinence and even you can even track your cycle and not get pregnant so i think

00:21:20.800 there's plenty of options beforehand that it really isn't an excuse if you have an unplanned pregnancy

00:21:28.160 so actually about 50 percent of unplanned pregnancies used protection and so that's just

00:21:34.080 well then you should then you should learn to use it better and the other and the other

00:21:38.080 the other thing is after the kid's born you could argue that it's an equally irresponsible

00:21:42.960 move when men and women have unprotected sex or there's some problem with the birth control fine

00:21:49.600 equally irresponsible but after the woman has more control she has the right to get she's the only

00:21:55.600 one who gets to decide if she takes a plan b she's the only one that gets to decide to put

00:21:59.280 them on child support or alimony if they're married men don't have a right to their wallets

00:22:07.120 after the kid is born yeah so pregnancy involves your body and your internal organs and that is

00:22:14.720 worth more than any money yeah but that's okay that's nine months a year what about the rest of

00:22:20.800 the time what about 18 years after right and so then there's like two years after that that you're

00:22:26.000 breastfeeding and then there's the unequal division of child care and domestic labor

00:22:31.760 so it's so much more than nine months but to but to go back we cannot minimize that nine months

00:22:37.520 having your body be not your own for nine months is nine months too long yeah but there are men

00:22:44.080 dying when they go and do their jobs and they're not complaining about it they can get a different

00:22:49.200 no because men understand that somebody has to do it yeah they don't they they understand well

00:22:55.120 that's why it's admirable that they do it anyway and they don't complain and that's what i keep

00:23:01.040 going back to is what feminists tend to want is they want all of the credit and they want to

00:23:06.480 over exaggerate their problems so i would actually like to go back to the comparison you made

00:23:11.440 of pregnancy and men going to work do you think those two things are the same i think that a man

00:23:18.240 going to a dangerous job is far worse than a woman being pregnant and do you think that the majority

00:23:24.880 of far more dangerous i'll say that's more accurate better and good is like it's subjective

00:23:31.200 right yeah and as i've said before i think that we should have better safety protocols and we

00:23:36.320 should improve the safety of all workers so i think that that should be addressed but also the

00:23:40.880 majority of men but it isn't right like are you arguing for it to be i here's the difference okay

00:23:47.280 so feminists have a tendency to think that if we complain things will just happen and i'm more

00:23:53.360 realistic where i know that just because we say oh it should be better well it's not

00:23:59.040 so and men understand that because they have had to deal with that reality from a young age

00:24:05.760 you recognize that the only reason you have a microphone and you have a show is because

00:24:10.080 feminists complained because we wanted a voice that's because it actually is there's writers

00:24:16.080 there's writers there's female writers in the 1800s and they had to write under male pseudonyms

00:24:21.520 it's not true it is true well you can say it's not true but it's it's history and it's statistics it

00:24:27.600 is that's not true it is we we used to not have a voice cleopatra we had women in power throughout

00:24:33.520 all of history there are examples of them when the first female property owner was in the 1600s

00:24:39.040 in the united states when were women allowed to have their own bank accounts women were allowed

00:24:44.080 to have their own bank accounts in 19 what what does that have to do with writing you're changing

00:24:50.400 the topic no i'm not you're changing the topic because i'm right they were allowed to write

00:24:55.440 they were you're the one who brought up female writers that wasn't okay go ahead go ahead so

00:24:59.840 um sometime in the 1900s i can't remember the year yeah it was like in the 1970s is when women

00:25:07.040 were allowed to have bank accounts so when we're talking about what's happened since what's happened

00:25:10.560 since we got bank accounts we own 80 we own 80 percent of the world's debt there's a reason

00:25:15.680 people did things the way they did you don't think that women should be able to have their own bank

00:25:19.360 accounts i don't think they shouldn't have bank accounts i think everyone should have the should

00:25:24.560 have the right and they do but the re there's a reason i think when we look at the past we have

00:25:30.480 to look at the reason that people did things and one of the reasons is women are very irresponsible

00:25:36.720 with money they own 80 percent of the world's debt even though they make less money than men

00:25:42.320 so did you know that the majority of household finances are regulated and controlled by women

00:25:48.160 yeah i knew that we make 80 percent of consumer buying decisions yeah so that's what i said they

00:25:52.960 spend that's what i said they spend money they spend money they don't have we do have the money

00:26:01.040 not anymore i mean the average woman out of college has thirty thousand dollars worth how

00:26:06.000 much debt do you have you have to have six figures coming out i do have six figures of debt and that's

00:26:10.240 and the student debt yeah because the thing is in your profession i mean on average women

00:26:16.400 leave the medical profession when they have a kid or within five years so odds are you won't pay it

00:26:22.160 off and it makes i'm not saying you personally i hope you do right i'm not wishing it one way

00:26:26.160 or another but statistically women make their debt someone else's problem men do the same thing

00:26:32.320 no they don't so they looked at no they looked at um women paying off their debt and men paying off

00:26:37.600 their college debt and men have been making payments towards it the last five years and women

00:26:41.680 haven't so it's funny because you just mentioned how women will leave their careers because they

00:26:46.960 have to take care of children and that probably plays a large role into why they're not able to

00:26:51.920 pay back their student debt compared to men who continue to be a part of the workforce

00:26:55.920 even after they have children do you see how those two things like might be correlated no

00:27:00.880 because women aren't having kids anymore that would have been the case maybe the case before

00:27:05.040 but now they're not really having children we are still having children on average on average it's

00:27:09.920 like 1.5 now so i mean you have one kid you can put it in daycare you can still work you can put

00:27:18.560 it in daycare sorry his or her yeah see and this is the problem is like when we see people as

00:27:24.240 commodities instead of actual people like that's where we run into this thing of like i don't care

00:27:29.280 how you feel you make stupid decisions instead of taking a nuanced perspective and the complexity

00:27:34.960 of the human experience and recognizing that there are so many things that contribute into

00:27:39.760 these cherry-picked statistics well you think that the world owes you understanding and it doesn't

00:27:44.720 i think that it does i think that we owe everybody understanding i think that in order for me so you

00:27:50.400 know what i think that this is something we need to clarify yeah go ahead i partake in these

00:27:54.960 conversations because i want a better world i develop my opinions based on how i think or based

00:28:02.720 on what i think is going to improve the human condition and improve people's um equality of

00:28:09.120 life why do you take part in these conversations i like to report on what's going on okay so you

00:28:14.720 have no desire to improve the world and to be like an advocate for change and progression it would be

00:28:21.200 nice but i don't expect it see and for me one of my favorite quotes is the people who are crazy

00:28:27.200 enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do and you can call me a dreamer they're

00:28:31.120 the ones who do not i mean historically you're wrong i don't think so martin luther king had

00:28:37.760 a dream didn't he okay but how many guys tried to be martin luther king and failed

00:28:43.040 i'm not saying i'm not saying that's a societal issue because we resist progression and you're

00:28:47.600 one of the people who is allowing society to resist progression instead of allowing

00:28:52.320 progression to happen how am i allowing society to what does that even mean yeah so you okay no

00:28:58.480 go ahead go ahead it's fine yeah because you say i see the reality right now and i report on the

00:29:04.160 reality right now and when i say yeah we should recognize what's happening now and improve on it

00:29:10.160 you're you say oh men are dying in the workplace and i'm like okay let's address that let's see

00:29:14.960 why they're doing that let's see how we can improve on that and then you're like yeah that's

00:29:18.800 not realistic i live in reality where you see how i am advocating for progression i'm advocating for

00:29:24.960 improvement where you're just like yeah you know what that's not the world we live in and i don't

00:29:29.120 have any idea or any desire to improve on the shitty statistics that i constantly report on

00:29:35.920 yeah so i think that sounds nice but again it doesn't change the reality of the situation so

00:29:41.760 you saying something on a podcast doesn't change the amount of men that die every year in a crab

00:29:47.520 fishing boat but what i like to do is be as accurate as i possibly can and that is why i

00:29:53.280 say that women do not do as useful or as needed jobs in society as men do if men's jobs disappeared

00:30:00.320 tomorrow society would crumble if women's jobs disappeared tomorrow society would be fine

00:30:06.720 oh really who's going to raise all the children women aren't even raising their own kids they're

00:30:11.040 in daycare that's actually they're in daycare in public school that's no it's a billion dollar

00:30:15.760 industry it is a billion dollar industry but statistically women have the like the majority

00:30:21.920 of child care burden and not a lot of people can afford daycare nowadays well who is the kid

00:30:27.220 spending the most time with if the mom's at work most most mothers work nowadays so the kid is

00:30:32.760 spending more time at school or at daycare yeah because usually school gets out school gets out

00:30:37.400 at like 2 30 it's not the norm people don't really have extended family school gets out at 2 30 or

00:30:43.640 3 they go to daycare for two or three hours what about before school what about before daycare

00:30:48.880 because a lot of times especially in the morning no no like the first two years of life at least

00:30:54.620 a lot of people aren't sending newborns and like it's not uncommon my sister works at a daycare

00:31:02.160 it's they get newborns like yeah within the first couple right months all the time we're talking

00:31:06.580 about like populations right we're talking about like statistics and the majority of people are

00:31:12.880 not sending their average age do you care if I look I'm just curious what is the average age

00:31:17.300 kids go in daycare no that's i actually don't know the answer to that question that wouldn't be the

00:31:21.760 question that i would ask but i'm curious what that answer is okay i'm just curious we recommend

00:31:25.880 kids start daycare as early as six weeks old doesn't give me an average just says kids can

00:31:32.140 start daycare as early as six weeks that's all i got yeah well i mean again that because that

00:31:38.160 wouldn't be the question that i would google like it would be because right we're talking about

00:31:43.560 breastfeeding we're talking about like bonding a lot of these things like especially in the first

00:31:49.680 two to six months of life at least like women bear the majority of that labor sure but i say so what

00:31:57.520 i could say that to any men men bear the majority of labor of running society for a lifetime

00:32:04.560 on average on average women have one to two kids so okay you you could say that's four years men

00:32:11.480 work 50 50 in a difficult job that gives us the food that we have the chairs we're sitting on

00:32:18.440 and the microphone we're talking in and who set that system up you should say thank you men did

00:32:23.220 thank god for them no you seem to have a problem with the amount that men work and the responsibility

00:32:28.640 that men bear and so i don't have i don't have a problem with it i'm acknowledging what it is

00:32:33.480 and i women should be thankful to men for doing it instead of complaining that they're not doing

00:32:39.180 enough to make women's lives comfortable we live in one of the most privileged times to be a woman

00:32:43.500 ever i mean you have even even the fact that you're saying um the biggest problem is that they

00:32:49.100 have to raise their kids in the early years you know how privileged that is i mean you have the

00:32:53.340 option to put them in daycare you have the option to delay motherhood they made ivf for us they gave

00:32:58.220 you birth like we have so many choices now and we're still gonna say they're not doing enough

00:33:03.740 that's bullshit do you know how much work it takes to raise children i'm one of 10. yeah so

00:33:10.540 you should so you should be one of ten okay so here's my next question um are your parents still

00:33:15.340 married yeah and wasn't your mom like um a feminist on the un who fought for women's rights at a

00:33:22.460 global level me and my mom don't agree on everything what's your point yeah that she had

00:33:27.340 nine children and she's happily married as a feminist so it seems like you should be fully

00:33:31.660 aware and she's not a feminist she took me to sarah palin rallies when i was a kid okay i went

00:33:36.540 to like pro-life rallies when i was 12. yeah i mean they didn't come out of nowhere right but

00:33:41.660 she also did advocate on a global level for like women's opportunities so it seems like you should

00:33:47.180 be fully here's the thing the the internet only has half of that story and i i can't yeah i can't

00:33:52.860 tell the full one just because it's not my place so i can't really use that as an i'm telling you

00:33:58.060 you're wrong though that's not if you had the full story i just can't talk about it here yeah you say

00:34:03.340 that a lot when people bring up your family which is fine um but my main point is that you are not

00:34:08.780 ignorant to these ideas you are not ignorant to these arguments like you on a global and

00:34:15.340 personal level like are aware of them so to say who cares like your mom cares you know to say who

00:34:22.860 cares a lot of us care and i think that it takes a lot of strength to care and i think that it

00:34:28.700 actually to say oh i don't care stop complaining that's the easy way out i don't want to take the

00:34:34.540 easy way out i think that being passionate about empathy is really like the strength it takes

00:34:39.980 strength to be sensitive it takes strength to be vulnerable and transparent i think that it's really

00:34:45.420 easy and it's the easy way out to just be callous and to say we can't make change and i don't care

00:34:50.140 care about your feelings okay well again you could you can say that but it doesn't change the reality

00:34:55.780 of the world and the thing is if you want to be in a man's world then be in it and what women try

00:35:01.600 to do is they go into a man's world and tell them how it should be different yeah because as you've

00:35:06.700 recognized even though even though they've done none of the work it seems like you are you

00:35:09.600 interviewing me or are we even though they've done none of the work of building the society but go

00:35:14.780 ahead sorry I would argue that our society would be better off if we did have a part in building

00:35:18.740 it our society has been stagnated and has been held back because women have been held back

00:35:23.700 imagine the prosperity and imagine the opportunity that the world would have

00:35:27.460 if women weren't held back and women weren't stagnated and you continuously complain about

00:35:32.980 these things that men have to endure and then simultaneously call it a men's world that women

00:35:38.820 should be grateful to be a part of but we should also be sensitive towards the things that they've

00:35:44.500 built that are detrimental to themselves so what do you think men did historically like what do

00:35:51.700 you think their jobs were like 1800s what were your choices as a man to do as a job because you

00:35:58.260 know you always talk about how women were held back historically so i'm asking like what was

00:36:02.020 life like back then well women had to stay home and men had to do all of the jobs because they

00:36:07.860 didn't allow women to help them what were their jobs that they did what were the most common

00:36:12.820 methods of employment back then i mean what do you mean i mean it's going to be it's going to

00:36:17.700 be construction it's going to be medicine it's going to be food production it's going to be

00:36:23.060 factories it's going like the same thing that runs all of society so they had three choices

00:36:28.180 coal miner farmer factory worker nothing else happened in society i'm not saying nothing else

00:36:34.340 that was the majority of how people were employed so it was you guys have this like rewritten history

00:36:40.660 where you guys think that men just had these glamorous fun jobs but men did the difficult

00:36:48.060 job men know that they don't they didn't enjoy their jobs it's like do you think of any guys

00:36:54.020 going to a coal mine and saying wow this is my passion and again who set that system up it's not

00:36:59.720 about who set it up it's how would this system run without it they need coal at the time they

00:37:05.260 needed coal like the same way now somebody has to build the buildings somebody has to get the food

00:37:11.140 otherwise society does not run correct and we're better off when women participate and when women

00:37:17.360 are able to help men like we talk about all of these like detrimental aspects of these harmful

00:37:23.040 industries and arguably if we cared about how people felt we were compassionate towards their

00:37:30.060 experience we would put more time and energy to improving these harmful industries and if women

00:37:35.660 had been allowed to enter into these industries earlier you could argue that they would be safer

00:37:42.220 industries because we have empathy and we want to value progression and we want to recognize

00:37:47.500 problems and address them we don't just see a problem and say hey that's a problem and then

00:37:54.220 sit on it like no you recognize a problem you recognize what causes it and you fix it okay so

00:38:00.860 i told you about the crab fishing today what are you gonna do now as i said that's not my job there

00:38:06.060 are people who are on excuse me if i could please speak as i've said before there are people on

00:38:12.300 safety committees there are people on workers unions there are people whose jobs are dedicated

00:38:19.340 to worker safety so if you're very passionate about that you should probably invite one of

00:38:24.860 them to sit down in the studio and ask them that question okay so nothing you're not because that's

00:38:31.020 not my job i'm just i'm just clarifying you're doing the same thing no because i'm more than

00:38:36.140 happy to recognize that it's a problem that should be addressed by somebody whose specialty

00:38:41.420 it is to address that problem okay so the next topic i'm wanting to get into and we can skip

00:38:48.700 this one if you want but i wanted to talk about trans and women's sports or no you want to talk

00:38:53.180 about you're okay with that i mean we can talk about it briefly okay okay i just i didn't want

00:38:57.340 to i don't want to you know so okay so how do you feel about trans women playing in female sports

00:39:03.980 i personally have no problem with it i think that there are advantages and disadvantages to be found

00:39:09.260 in the spectrum of biology regardless um of like gender and otherwise um i see the concerns about

00:39:17.100 the advantages that certain athletes will have over another but again i think that that is a

00:39:21.340 problem that we recognize and we need to figure out how to address it to make it equitable for

00:39:26.620 everybody to be able to participate appropriately it is not my specialty i don't have any specific

00:39:32.860 solutions but i think solutions do exist that we can utilize to make it like advantageous for

00:39:38.380 everybody i also think that this is an issue that is largely overblown and if we want to talk about

00:39:44.220 the issues in women's sports trans athletes are not the major problem there are so many bigger

00:39:49.420 problems that should be addressed and should get a lot more air time but i think that this is a

00:39:56.300 this is a strategy that is utilized to distract attention away from real problems and to demonize

00:40:02.460 a group because this is the same thing we see on the political spectrum right where we want to pick

00:40:06.620 a group and demonize them and make everyone believe that this is the root of our problems

00:40:11.580 when they are not they are just people who want to participate in athletics and sports like everyone

00:40:16.780 else and i think that it's a really easy way for the sports committees and for media to direct

00:40:23.500 attention to a small group of people and demonize them while ignoring the plethora of issues that

00:40:28.540 female athletes have to endure otherwise so i actually agree with you on one part i do think

00:40:33.740 they overblow the issue um i've played volleyball for like 16 years i told you before the podcast i

00:40:40.060 i had one experience maybe um however i'm a little bit confused by your answer because it was

00:40:48.300 could you just say in a more simple way are you for it you're okay with it or you're not

00:40:52.780 so i like okay if they said tomorrow they said i'm sorry i do this sometimes but they said tomorrow

00:40:59.180 hey you you get the final decision are they allowed are they not allowed so i would reject

00:41:04.780 that option because it's a nuanced discussion i think that if you want to turn something nuanced

00:41:09.340 into black and white you're going to run into problems and you're going to automatically come

00:41:14.140 to the wrong conclusion well but the way these leagues are run they they have a rule book so

00:41:19.260 when i was playing in england there was a rule book every season and so somebody has to write

00:41:24.940 the rules yeah so when it comes to the rule book it has to be black and white it really doesn't

00:41:31.500 though because you could take into account hormone levels you could take into account like muscle

00:41:35.660 mass like there are plenty of things that you could do to try to make things more fair and equal

00:41:40.460 and so i don't think it's necessarily what are your genitals that's the group you get assigned

00:41:45.020 to like i think it's a way more complex and nuanced issue do you think that women have a

00:41:49.500 right to feel uncomfortable in locker rooms when men are in them sorry i know you're going to say

00:41:54.540 it's like trance whatever you call them but the the guy is dressed like whatever the men pretending

00:41:59.900 to be women so i know you're going to call it something else you're trying to talk about

00:42:03.580 people who are assigned male at birth but who identify as women through like societal norms

00:42:08.380 like that is what a trans woman is like by definition that's too long for me i know it

00:42:13.580 seems like you don't really like complicated thoughts so it seems to be like that was rude

00:42:19.020 i mean i'm just making an observation because anytime that i try to implement nuance into a

00:42:23.980 discussion you say like that's just overthinking it that's that's just too complex so it just seems

00:42:29.420 not necessarily the reason i say that is because i think you do that to evade questions where you

00:42:34.700 can't give a definitive answer no because so i just like to be direct and get like what do you

00:42:40.140 believe out of this and sometimes i think you talk in circles because you can't keep up with what i'm

00:42:45.340 saying so no i can i can keep up yeah and i think you need to just you're because you're asking you're

00:42:51.420 asking me nuanced questions that require a nuanced answer but you can't ask a nuanced question and

00:42:58.060 desire a black and white answer that's just like not how the world works that's a really simple

00:43:02.540 question what would the rule book say and i i answered that i said that we should be able to

00:43:07.100 take into account different biochemical markers in order to make something more equitable

00:43:11.740 okay so a trans person comes in and they say i want to play in the woman's league

00:43:16.940 how are you going to deal with the situation what i just said take into account biochemical markers

00:43:22.700 to make the competition more equitable okay so how would you measure it that's not my job so

00:43:28.220 there's so many things as as i mentioned previously there's hormone levels there's muscle mass there's

00:43:33.020 all these different things that you can measure if we're really going to say that trans people

00:43:37.980 in sports are this huge issue that we need to dedicate so much time to then if we're going to

00:43:42.540 dedicate this much time to talking about them then we should dedicate equally the amount of time that

00:43:48.300 we should dedicate it wouldn't be that long of a conversation if you just got to the answer

00:43:52.860 are they allowed are they not allowed because it's not if they're allowed what exceptions are

00:43:56.860 we making it's not a simple answer you want a simple answer to a complex problem and that's

00:44:01.180 not how the world works it is how that works because i've played in sports and the rules are

00:44:05.820 generally pretty simple just because you desire a simple answer does not mean that the answer

00:44:10.620 is simple okay well that one is pretty simple they either allow them or they don't if you look

00:44:16.220 at the rule books but that's not equitable or fair which i believe in an equitable and fair society

00:44:21.580 which you've made it very clear that you don't which is probably why we disagree i do want

00:44:25.420 society to be fair but if women the the thing is women want all the privileges without doing the

00:44:32.140 work so why aren't you pushing for women to do 50 of the hard jobs in society the infrastructure jobs

00:44:40.060 i want them to they can if they want to if they want to but they won't and that's the catch

00:44:45.500 i mean do men want to be in those jobs like they don't have to if they don't want to

00:44:49.420 no but many do it because they have to are they drafted into the crab fishing industry

00:44:56.380 or do they choose to go into the crab fishing industry a lot of men do jobs because they know

00:45:02.380 that no one else is going to do them and that sounds like a choice that they are making for

00:45:06.540 themselves okay so going back to equality do you think that women should be enlisted in the draft

00:45:14.240 I don't think that the draft should exist.

00:45:15.860 I think nobody should be drafted.

00:45:17.440 Okay, but since it is, men are enlisted in selective service and they're fined $300,000

00:45:23.960 if they don't sign up for this.

00:45:26.580 Do you think that women should have to, too, in the name of equality?

00:45:30.380 I think if we're talking about equality, if women don't have to sign up for the draft,

00:45:34.300 then men shouldn't either.

00:45:35.320 Okay, then we agree.

00:45:36.620 But since they do have to, do you think they should, too?

00:45:40.660 I think that we should abolish the draft.

00:45:42.180 so you want me to go in your direction and i'm taking it in my direction you want everyone to

00:45:47.000 be subjugated and controlled and i want everyone to be i don't have an opinion one way or the other

00:45:51.420 my point my my point is that it should be fair yeah so if the men have to do it then the women

00:45:56.560 have to do it too or if the women don't have to do it then the men shouldn't have to do it

00:46:00.400 right but right now the men have to do it and right now the women don't

00:46:05.420 correct so and that's why that's why that's why it goes back to feminists never fight for equality

00:46:10.900 when it comes to men's issues.

00:46:12.920 I've never heard women say,

00:46:14.460 women sign up for selective service like the men.

00:46:16.940 They just say, oh, that's a hard thing.

00:46:18.640 We don't want to have to do it.

00:46:20.000 So you haven't spoken to like many academic feminists

00:46:22.900 because many academic feminists

00:46:24.520 who want full societal equality

00:46:26.600 do advocate for men's issues.

00:46:28.360 And we recognize the way that certain societal norms,

00:46:31.880 which by the way, are designed and built

00:46:34.080 and created by men are detrimental to men.

00:46:37.240 And we advocate because a lot of feminist ideology

00:46:39.940 is beneficial to men and so we are advocating for men and so you say men have to sign up for

00:46:46.660 the draft so women should have to where i go the opposite you seem can i finish my thoughts

00:46:51.300 because you seem to be very pro control where i'm pro freedom i want everyone to have freedom

00:46:57.800 over their body i want everyone to have freedom over their choices where you seem to go in the

00:47:02.040 opposite direction and say if one group is you know subjugated we should subjugate everyone and

00:47:07.260 don't agree that's not what i said but if okay let's go into family court do you think that

00:47:12.780 custody should be 50 50 off the bat like physical or there's different kinds of custody child

00:47:18.380 custody like who they live with or who makes legal decisions for them yeah 50 50 off the bat

00:47:25.100 so those are two different things um but i think that it is going to be a nuanced discussion and

00:47:29.580 based on family dynamics okay but in general if there's no abuse or anything crazy like that 50

00:47:36.300 50 off the bat as a starting point i think that every case should be taken into account from its

00:47:43.260 individual and nuanced perspective i think that sure abuse should absolutely be taken into account

00:47:48.220 but also should finances also should desire for child care also should geographical location

00:47:53.900 like all of these different things but i'm asking for a starting point 50 50 custody off the bat

00:47:59.660 i think that each partner should be looked at equitably and should there should be no

00:48:04.460 discrimination towards either from the get-go from the get like okay so we would agree off the bat

00:48:10.220 starting it's 50 50. i understand if there's abuse if there's one parent wants to work more

00:48:17.020 totally fine they can work that out but i'm saying to start off the bat 50 50 custody no child

00:48:23.100 support no alimony no that's not what i said okay no child support no alimony that's not what i said

00:48:29.660 i'm asking you what's your thoughts yeah so as i previously said i think that each case should be

00:48:36.860 analyzed and should be you know when it comes to finances when it comes to abuse when it comes to

00:48:43.820 all of these things like that's going to be so unique to each individual circumstance so to say

00:48:50.140 no alimony or full child support or 50 50 like these are people and people are complex and so

00:48:56.780 you seem to want simple answers for complex issues no i want a starting point i i understand that

00:49:03.420 it's complicated in family dynamics there's abuse of women there's abuse of men that would that

00:49:09.740 would change a family dynamic you would agree right there are um differences and schedules for

00:49:16.460 work totally can be worked out but i'm saying off the bat 50 50 custody no child support no alimony

00:49:24.620 yeah and i disagree yeah and and that's my point whenever i talk about an issue that would

00:49:30.220 help men or be more fair to men and that benefits women you don't give me a straight answer

00:49:35.340 who does and you say it's complicated who designed the legal system who designed it yeah i don't know

00:49:42.540 men i mean it depends because some of the laws are like title 4d came in the past

00:49:49.500 um 50 years i want to say and by then like women have the majority of voting power

00:49:56.060 so most of the laws in recent years are catered to women so actually most of these laws are not

00:50:01.340 determined by a vote most of these laws are determined by politicians and right now more men

00:50:07.980 historically and present day hold positions of power and so these policies that you're talking

00:50:13.340 about are not policies that the population is voted on at large these are policies that have

00:50:17.900 been designed primarily by men in power so if you want to talk about how the system is detrimental

00:50:22.700 to men you also need to recognize that men are detrimental to men right but who who's there

00:50:29.100 who are they representing the politicians who votes more who votes more yeah who turns up to

00:50:34.780 vote more who is the majority of the population women okay so they represent women's interests

00:50:41.500 not necessarily and you can see that what what percent of the time do men get custody in family

00:50:46.300 court so it actually um now the majority of child custody cases are joint custody that's not true

00:50:55.020 it is it's about three percent men only get custody ten percent of the time so we're looking

00:51:00.540 at different statistics most of most alimony payments are men to women most child support

00:51:05.820 payments are men to women and that's because historical precedent yeah you have to take into

00:51:11.420 like historical context of like the and also men earn more than women like there's so much nuance

00:51:16.380 to this but um from cornell i was reading a study by cornell university that looked at divorces and

00:51:21.020 custody and all these things and the majority i think it was 50.3 percent of um child custody

00:51:27.420 cases end up as being joint custody the majority of child support and alimony payments are men to

00:51:33.820 women yeah because men that's the biggest that is the biggest wealth transfer in the united states

00:51:38.380 if women want to be independent i actually have no problem like i again as i said before i think

00:51:43.740 it's very impressive you became a doctor i just think that people that women that want to take

00:51:49.100 that path should pay for it so do you think that the money is for her for the children i think that

00:51:55.980 women do not always spend it on the kids because it takes more to actually you know there are men

00:52:04.540 in poverty over these laws yeah and a lot of child support isn't paid either and you can also opt out

00:52:09.900 of child support by relinquishing your parental rights in a lot of states so if you don't want

00:52:14.380 any rights as a parent then you can relinquish those rights and then you won't be held accountable

00:52:18.940 for child support but if you still want to be in that child's life and you want to be involved then

00:52:23.260 you will have to pay child support so no they take it directly out of your bank account you can lose

00:52:27.980 your fishing license you can um you can you can it is it's really there's men that kill themselves

00:52:34.700 over this i know you think it's funny but like i've interviewed men that were a mile from their

00:52:39.740 kids and haven't seen them in years and they want they wanted nothing i know you think it's like

00:52:43.820 funny but it's really not no i don't think that it's funny i just think i think that you bringing

00:52:48.220 up men losing their fishing licenses while talking about women bearing the majority of like child

00:52:53.740 care duties is like that that like comparison is humorous to me not not men unaliving themselves

00:52:59.740 not men losing money but just like that comparison is that's i mean that's like one of many things

00:53:04.380 that they lose they lose their fishing license like that's one but i'm my point is that it's

00:53:08.620 unconstitutional like i know you think it's funny but it's really not i mean men are nine times more

00:53:13.980 likely to commit suicide after a divorce this literally kills men yeah exactly because men

00:53:19.260 actually benefit from marriage more than women do and when you look at the statistics of like

00:53:24.060 post-divorce mental health outcomes men have worse mental health outcomes than women women

00:53:29.180 are typically happier after divorce and so if you want to argue that that marriage disproportionately

00:53:34.060 benefits women like that's not i'd be pretty unhappy too if i was on child support or alimony

00:53:39.100 and i had a hard time seeing my kids and you had to support your children what a hard life

00:53:43.420 well you understand that it's not taxed so the the problem is they take over 50 of the man's

00:53:50.540 income because it's not so they have to pay taxes on the stuff they're giving her and take half of

00:53:55.660 his paycheck to support his children that he wants to be involved in their lives right but it wasn't

00:54:01.020 his choice because women leave the majority it is his choice to relinquish his parental rights

00:54:05.260 if he wants well i'm what i'm saying is many men want to be married and they want to be an involved

00:54:11.500 father and they want to stay with the mother of their children my point is if she makes the

00:54:16.040 decision to leave she should pay for it if you want to leave that's totally fine but you should

00:54:20.620 pay to raise your kid is it not his child as well and he should pay for the time that's why i said

00:54:26.100 50 50 custody off the bat no child support no alimony so she gets to take on all of the child

00:54:32.340 care responsibilities but he all he gets he doesn't have to like pay anything he doesn't have

00:54:37.620 have any buy-in all i said 50 50 custody he should have the kid half the time but doesn't have to pay

00:54:43.220 any money towards it no you should pay for the kid when the kid's at his house okay and so the

00:54:48.420 majority of the time when the kid is at the mother's house he doesn't have to be involved

00:54:54.900 in any way financially no she should pay for it she has a job why why should he have to pay for

00:55:01.060 a kid he should he should support it what if she chose to have the kid and she chooses divorce why

00:55:07.380 should she not have to pay for her own decision that's the thing see you want that's there it is

00:55:11.460 you want all the freedom to do whatever you want but you don't want to have to pay for it no because

00:55:15.780 i also think that the way that you the way that you look at these issues and the way that you look

00:55:20.420 at these divorces is very nefarious towards women and so i just think that it's very interesting to

00:55:27.700 see the way that you speak about women and the way that you think about women and the way that you

00:55:31.860 think that we make these decisions as if we're just flippantly getting a divorce and like taking

00:55:37.060 advantage of men as if like it's not more nuanced than that because you don't seem to appreciate the

00:55:42.820 nuance of the human experience and the complexity of relationships you know i think there are valid

00:55:48.420 reasons for divorce if women want to divorce that's totally fine they can do that i think

00:55:53.860 that they should pay for their decisions again this goes back to i say if you want the freedom

00:55:59.300 to do something you should take the responsibility that comes with it you want them to have the

00:56:04.020 freedom to do something but not have the responsibility that comes with it so you say

00:56:08.580 you can have the freedom to divorce totally we agree right we can have the freedom to be a

00:56:14.260 single mother to go into medicine or whatever career you want but i think you should have the

00:56:20.020 responsibility to pay for it and i don't think that do you think that's unreasonable well i would

00:56:25.060 just flip it around right i would say that if men want the freedom to be a part of their child's life

00:56:32.020 then they should accept the responsibility that that entails which includes financial responsibility

00:56:38.500 but women have the right to work now yeah but men still out earn women because they do harder jobs

00:56:45.540 not necessarily no because you don't know you don't think doing an infrastructure job

00:56:50.660 is more difficult than the number one employers of women which is admin assistance education

00:56:58.260 so education you get out at like three o'clock 2 30. i mean there's men again there's men dying

00:57:05.380 getting you the chair you're sitting on there's men dying to protect you literally so statistically

00:57:11.140 when they look at the gender wage gap they've shown that women in the exact same positions

00:57:17.300 with the exact same qualifications make less than men so it's not this like strange overarching

00:57:24.180 pattern that you like to point out that men are in these dangerous jobs and they run society

00:57:28.260 like that's just not true when it comes to the gender wage gap they've controlled for these

00:57:32.980 variables when they study this and there's still a very significant gender wage gap even when you

00:57:38.740 control for different industries different degrees different qualifications different hours

00:57:44.180 women working all of the same things as men hours degrees industries education whatever

00:57:50.580 still make less than men so if you want to pull it back towards child care or child support then

00:57:56.580 you have to recognize that like on a societal scale like the wage gap is there and so that's

00:58:03.300 also going to contribute to the gap in child support and financial responsibility well women

00:58:07.700 don't do as good of a job they don't produce as much in the workforce that's why they actually

00:58:12.260 incorrect they've done they've done they make 80 of the world's stuff women okay men have invented

00:58:18.980 90 of things men where did you get that statistic google it google it right i will top of i mean

00:58:25.540 and i would argue that especially a world without men too it's in that book okay it's an economist

00:58:30.660 he breaks down i would argue that also historically women have been erased from their accomplishments

00:58:37.140 a lot of people don't know that albert einstein had a wife who actually helped him and got the

00:58:42.020 same degrees that he did she went to the same schools that he did same classes but they didn't

00:58:47.300 award her a degree because she was a woman and i'm not done and she helped him develop the monumental

00:58:54.980 calculations that we still utilize today and he's been quoted saying that he would be nowhere near

00:59:00.260 as successful and would have never found the and um like developed the equations that he did without

00:59:06.020 her so that's just one anecdotal part but when you look at the actual productivity and efficiency of

00:59:12.580 women if you are a female surgeon you are going to have better surgical outcomes this has been

00:59:18.020 studied numerous times and statistically female surgeons have better outcomes than male surgeons

00:59:23.540 they've also analyzed the top 500 companies like fortune 500 i think yeah they're only 20 of

00:59:29.300 surgeons yeah and so isn't that amazing that only 20 of women have better outcomes than 80

00:59:34.900 and they would be doing the majority of medical breakthroughs they're not they're not the majority

00:59:39.940 but they are the surgeries that they are doing and the work that they are doing is higher quality

00:59:45.300 than the work that men are doing according to what some study if they could dominate the field they

00:59:51.300 would go do it we are where's the female billionaires all the female billionaires are rich

00:59:56.180 off of men's money yeah so it's actually 80 of billionaires inherited their family's money but

01:00:01.700 that's beyond a man or a woman from men because historical because historical precedent more

01:00:07.780 productive historical precedent pearl but there's we've had 50 years like where is the female elon

01:00:14.500 musk where is so they've actually analyzed the top 500 companies and female ceos companies that are

01:00:21.700 run by female ceos outperform companies that are run by male ceos so as i've said before if women

01:00:28.020 were not historically stagnated and kept behind and banned from partaking in education in all of

01:00:35.540 these industries i would argue that our society would be better off we would be safer we'd be

01:00:40.660 happier we'd be more efficient just based on the last 50 years where we have been able to partake

01:00:45.940 at a higher level and all the statistics show that we are more successful than men when we compete

01:00:51.140 with them and we are still making up for the historical precedent in the past and that's and

01:00:56.100 we do all of that while enduring discrimination, while enduring doubt, while enduring things like

01:01:02.420 pregnancy and childbearing without maternal or maternity leave. That's guaranteed. We're the

01:01:08.980 only developed country in the world that doesn't have mandatory maternity leave. Like our country

01:01:14.980 is so broken on all of these levels. And we have so many other things that we could be talking

01:01:19.540 about to improve society. But instead we're talking about like how men die on crab boats and

01:01:26.100 they have to pay child support when like arguably that is not the biggest issue that we have in our

01:01:31.380 in our country so you think that we talk too much about men dying at work no that's not what i said

01:01:38.820 i think that's an oh no no i think that's an oversimplification of my statement okay what do

01:01:44.180 you think would be better issues to focus on i think that we need to focus on the things that

01:01:48.820 are actually impacting americans like access to health care like i said mandatory maternity leave

01:01:53.940 and paternity leave i would love if men got the opportunity to spend more time with their

01:01:58.500 children and bond with them i think that we need to address the housing crisis because now in the

01:02:04.340 u.s dual income educated households cannot afford to buy a home in average um on average in u.s

01:02:12.740 cities like we have from health care to housing to child care we have so many issues that are worth

01:02:18.660 talking about well if we're going to go into maternity leave that's again you want the freedom

01:02:23.060 to have kids and you want the company to pay for it yeah like every other developed nation because

01:02:28.340 every other developed nation recognizes that the more that you invest in families the better off

01:02:34.180 you have the better off you are as society as a whole yeah women aren't really having kids that's

01:02:40.500 incorrect one out of three women has had an abortion one out of four will have an abortion

01:02:46.020 in their lifetime so it's a different statistic okay one out of three one out of four women have

01:02:51.620 1.2 kids 1.5 ish yeah and one out of four women will also experience sexual assault in their

01:02:58.180 lifetime do you want to talk about that or we can talk about it what's sexual assault what is sexual

01:03:04.100 assault why don't you tell me don't you tell you you brought up the stat you brought up the topic

01:03:09.220 i think that it's interesting that i have to describe what sexual assault is um but essentially

01:03:14.100 sexual assault is any um like unwanted physical um i'm trying to think of a good way to describe

01:03:22.660 this so in a nuanced way because it could be um a violation of your bodily autonomy essentially

01:03:29.780 is what it is okay so who determines who decides if they felt violated the victim

01:03:36.100 okay so it's up to the discretion of the victim because some people are more touchy than others

01:03:41.140 so some people are gonna say something's a violation and some people would say

01:03:45.340 something isn't right so I just find that interesting that your automatic

01:03:49.840 response is to belittle the experience of the victim okay you can find it

01:03:54.100 interesting but I'm asking you a question so could you answer it I believe women

01:03:58.840 and I believe victims okay every victim so every woman you believe again nuance

01:04:04.960 pearl so if we're talking about things on a population level and if we're

01:04:09.360 talking about one in four women will experience this then no i can't say every single one because

01:04:16.000 we're talking about millions okay but the majority of them yes i believe them okay so how did they

01:04:22.720 get this number you brought up the stats i'm asking you how is it a survey it's multiple

01:04:27.600 surveys but yeah and then so we're just blindly believing what they say how many filed a police

01:04:32.640 report and actually convicted the guy so do you have any idea of how emotionally taxing it is to

01:04:39.840 go through a criminal case and and not only that not only the police report i don't know the

01:04:44.640 statistics on that but i don't think that it's relevant because this is yeah this is the challenge

01:04:49.280 we get is we just blindly believe women yeah i think that we should i think that we should believe

01:04:54.880 women who say that they've been assaulted because the me too movement shows you that it's so

01:04:59.760 grossly prevalent in our society and i think that you are belittling the impact that it has on the

01:05:05.840 victim to go through the rape kit at an er to go through that physical assessment and to be violated

01:05:13.280 further after your body's already been violated and then to go through the entire criminal

01:05:18.880 court process which can take years having to tell your story over and over and over and i do not

01:05:26.160 blame women in the slightest if they say you know what i don't want to put myself through that i've

01:05:32.240 gone through enough i'm not going to further traumatize myself yeah that's i understand that

01:05:38.000 however we have to believe the evidence and so if you're gonna tell me a story we have to go through

01:05:44.240 the evidence which is only found in criminal court i disagree what do you mean you disagree

01:05:49.440 you think we should just blindly okay like how far do we take that do men lose opportunities

01:05:54.880 because a woman has a story and she didn't file charges i think when when women go on social media

01:06:00.320 with no police report and tell stories where it's easy to identify the man should they be allowed to

01:06:05.680 do that with no repercussions this would happen all the time to like me when i was on my show i

01:06:10.800 interviewed a thousand people women rarely file police reports yeah because it's traumatizing

01:06:17.680 yeah no but what i found was a little different i used to kind of be more like you where i would um

01:06:23.600 you know when a girl find nuance not that but express empathy not really more so um usually

01:06:31.360 i would think that women were telling the truth like when they would tell me someone abused them

01:06:36.480 someone assaulted them the problem is if you ask a couple questions a lot of times their story

01:06:42.320 falls apart i'll give you an example so there is a woman who said she had an abusive ex-boyfriend

01:06:46.640 she comes on my show and i asked her a couple questions i said okay did you file a police

01:06:50.640 report she said no i said okay comes to find out um she said that he shoved her down the stairs

01:06:56.000 that was her story so i asked her i said okay how did this like come up like how did this situation

01:07:01.520 happen and it turns out she was actually trespassing so he wasn't supposed to she wasn't

01:07:07.440 supposed to be in his house and he kept asking her to leave and she wouldn't leave she had a

01:07:12.480 romantic relationship with this guy and she was trying to fight with him in front of his kid he

01:07:16.160 didn't want to fight in front of the kid he ends up pushing her out not trying to push her down

01:07:20.720 the stairs but he's trying to get her to leave does that make sense and she claims abuse i think

01:07:26.800 that's a little bit overblown would you agree with that in that specific story so that is anecdotal

01:07:33.200 evidence no i know that's totally fine but i'm saying in good faith could you agree with me i

01:07:37.840 want you to understand why i think this way i will agree with the premise that these are complex

01:07:44.480 issues that should be looked at holistically totally fine and when we so i think that it's

01:07:49.360 interesting that when i bring up like believing women i'm ultimately saying we should believe

01:07:55.760 anecdotal evidence like we should believe women's account of what they are experiencing especially

01:08:01.120 when these stories are corroborated on on a population level and then in counter you give me

01:08:08.160 anecdotal evidence that totally fine i totally understand but i'm just i just want you to go with

01:08:12.720 me on this and you can disregard it later okay that's not how you totally totally fine totally

01:08:18.560 fine but i'm asking you in that case do you agree with me that that was overblown no because because

01:08:26.160 i don't know the details of the case it's a he said she said i i know but can we in good faith

01:08:30.800 just set like just agree that i'm telling you the truth just you can it's fine i agree that you're

01:08:37.840 telling me the truth but not that you've been told the entire truth okay but assuming those facts are

01:08:43.840 correct would you agree that's overblown assuming those facts that you gave me are correct yes in

01:08:49.760 that one particular instance sure totally fine what i found and this is i'm just explaining how

01:08:57.520 i came to these conclusions was that normally when i would ask women to give me more details

01:09:03.520 about their story there was something that they left out that like many times women would say he

01:09:09.440 hit me but she hit him first and they would leave that out sorry um we had a woman who started the

01:09:15.520 first men's abuse her name's aaron piszi she started the first men's abuse center in the

01:09:22.320 uk and she dealt with both men and women that were abused and most abuse is mutual meaning

01:09:30.400 they're hitting each other so that that's the majority of cases and what what i found is women

01:09:37.360 would often leave out the other side they would say they were assaulted and they wouldn't put

01:09:43.040 the other side of the story and no i'm just explaining how i came to this conclusion

01:09:48.320 yeah so the i understand it's anecdotal but you know just like you've come to some conclusions

01:09:54.320 because you anecdotally going through the medical system you that was how you came to those

01:09:59.680 conclusions i'm telling you how it came to mind okay and so i think ultimately we end up with

01:10:05.680 my conclusion which is we should look at each of these cases holistically and with nuance and

01:10:10.880 recognize that these are complex issues that just can't be given a black and white solution or

01:10:15.920 scenario well my point is we have to go based on the evidence and the only way we can go on

01:10:20.720 evidence is in criminal court i disagree with that because as i've said it is incredibly

01:10:26.000 traumatizing and taxing to go through the criminal process so i think unfortunately we are left to

01:10:31.440 anecdotal evidence when it comes to a lot of these cases right but how do you know if somebody is

01:10:35.840 lying you don't yeah and again this is going back to you want to be able to accuse men of anything

01:10:42.720 and they just and we just have to believe women and the men just have to take it so that's how

01:10:47.760 that's how so many men get falsely accused on college campuses and in the workplace do you know

01:10:52.640 the statistics of when they've analyzed these issues and when they've analyzed these claims

01:10:57.680 how many turn out to be false well there's a lot of stats people throw around i don't know which

01:11:02.800 ones you're going to bring up but you go ahead around two to eight percent the highest that i

01:11:08.720 can find is eight percent and how did they come to that conclusion through both like if you're not

01:11:15.760 going to look at like criminal evidence a lot of times they'll corroborate it with friends and

01:11:19.440 family they'll corroborate it with um instances at the workplace um things like that okay well i

01:11:26.800 the majority of cases that are brought to police are not prosecuted meaning that they don't have

01:11:33.520 the evidence to prosecute them yeah because it's incredibly hard unless you have a video camera in

01:11:39.360 every room of your house so i highly i highly doubt that this survey got better evidence than

01:11:45.840 the police so that's actually incorrect because you're comparing things like civil civil and

01:11:51.680 criminal instances right because something where a man is going to lose his position at a job or

01:11:56.960 where he's going to whatever it may be that's different from like a criminal accusation and the

01:12:02.800 bar for criminal accusation is so much higher um and you're going to need things like um like video

01:12:09.680 evidence and transcripts and all these things which are going to be incredibly difficult to have

01:12:15.200 when you're living in the real world where like abuse doesn't happen in front of a camera

01:12:19.920 don't you think that the bar should be high to accuse someone of a crime that's that serious

01:12:25.760 criminally don't you you don't think so civilly too no don't we want to be sure that the person

01:12:32.720 is guilty well like you say i live in the real world and it's just not realistic to have that

01:12:38.560 amount of evidence when a lot of times abuse happens behind closed doors where are you going

01:12:42.960 to get the evidence from easy if you're getting hit by a guy you're gonna have a black eye or

01:12:48.800 something are you crazy have you ever do you know how strong men are also holy like i'm serious

01:12:54.480 like i played sports and i got elbowed once by accident from a guy and i i had a black eye for

01:13:01.840 weeks it's simple easy if you're if you're getting beat by a guy you are going to there's no way you

01:13:07.680 will not have marks physical abuse is only one kind of abuse first of all there's many different

01:13:12.080 kinds of abuse second of all men are a lot smarter than that and a lot of them know to not need leave

01:13:17.280 visible visible evidence but i'm what percent of men do you think are abusive i would be throwing

01:13:23.040 out a random number i couldn't even tell you how many men you just make it seem like it's everywhere

01:13:28.240 like if all these women are saying they're assaulted wouldn't that mean a good percent of

01:13:34.480 men are assaulting yeah i mean if one in four women will experience assault in their lifetime

01:13:38.960 then i would argue that one in four men could potentially be abusers if you want to like

01:13:42.720 correlate the two statistics but also 90 of violent crime in our country is committed

01:13:48.320 by men so it really isn't because you don't count abortion do you want to talk about abortion we can

01:13:54.560 but not really it sounds like i mean i mean i'm like i'm pro-life but like i know you're not

01:14:01.360 and it's not i mean but if you're going to equate abortion to violent crime i think that that that

01:14:06.720 deserves a response okay well i mean i view abortion as a child and i know you don't so

01:14:12.240 that's not true okay go ahead i i view like you i view it from the moment of conception as a child

01:14:19.920 i do as well oh you just think the woman should be able to kill the kid i think that it is her body

01:14:25.840 and if she does not want to or cannot endure pregnancy it is her choice to do so so you really

01:14:31.840 you view it as a kid i thought you'd view it as a fetus no i mean it is a fetus but i view it as

01:14:36.800 a human fetus who will eventually develop into a child okay what point for you well you gain

01:14:43.360 personhood when you enter into the world so at birth so you would you would allow abortions up

01:14:48.160 to birth no okay when what point for you so i i think i actually think um conservatives should

01:14:55.840 negotiate on this and just find a point yeah and just like stop fighting so i'm just curious what

01:15:02.240 the point would be i'd put i i would by the way i want to clarify morally i think it's wrong

01:15:08.320 but i'm trying to be realistic in 2025 three months would you agree to that yeah i think that

01:15:15.200 i think three months is a reasonable time frame but i will say so i've been asked this question

01:15:20.800 even i'd even i'd even bargain and say four can we just stop fighting four yeah i mean i think

01:15:26.560 it's wrong and i want to say i think it's wrong it's just i think there's bigger like you're not

01:15:30.640 going to win that issue so yeah i agree because it's a nuanced issue so the the issue is so for

01:15:36.800 me i i don't think that there is a reasonable timeline to initiate a ban because most abortions

01:15:47.040 happen within the pre three to four month mark so if you want to do a ban at that time sure

01:15:54.720 but what happens after that after that three to month three to four month mark a lot of times

01:16:00.640 those abortions happen because of complex physical medical or life circumstances and so

01:16:08.720 in my professional opinion and what i've seen happen in the hospital and when i talk to real

01:16:13.440 life people i recognize that abortions that happen later in gestation are typically very complicated

01:16:19.760 and they have a lot of consideration and a lot of reason for them to happen so to put a ban there

01:16:26.720 is only going to further harm people who are facing an impossible choice so it might sound

01:16:34.480 good um philosophically and it might sound good like oh let's just put an arbitrary number at

01:16:39.840 you know 20 weeks or whatever but realistically if you do that you are targeting people who are

01:16:48.240 already suffering something extremely difficult right but for me it would be easier to just say

01:16:55.360 this is the point other than extreme circumstances like if someone's very sick dying fine i'm just

01:17:01.360 i'm just wondering if you had i'm just wondering where for you you'd put it for the majority can't

01:17:05.760 get it after so and most pro-choice people i don't think most want people to be allowed to abort the

01:17:12.080 day before the kid's born right and people aren't right i understand they're not but i'm saying most

01:17:16.960 pro-choice people would agree so i'm saying like hypothetically neither of us have any political

01:17:22.080 power so it's like it's hypothetical where would the point be for you for me hypothetically it

01:17:27.520 would be at um the limit of viability which is around 21 to 24 weeks about okay would you

01:17:36.000 compromise at four months i don't see any reason to oh you wouldn't i mean you won't meet in the

01:17:41.920 middle like the pro-life i'm pro-life meaning i want zero that's where i want but i'm saying hey

01:17:47.120 i'd meet you in the middle so we can just stop these protests at abortion i just but the thing

01:17:51.840 is like i don't i don't see the four months four months no protests will go away no because i i

01:17:58.000 don't think the protests i know i know they won't but yeah like i mean i'm trying to be reasonable

01:18:02.640 here right well me too and and the thing for me is like being reasonable is recognizing that pregnant

01:18:08.000 people are people and that their lives and medical conditions are complex so we could like make it

01:18:13.440 easy for the sake of argument but making it easy for the sake of argument is putting impossible

01:18:19.360 choices and barriers in front of people who are already facing an impossible choice could you

01:18:24.000 humor me i said the limit of viability if i was to pick a point it would be the limit of viability

01:18:29.840 which like you could say 21 weeks or something okay okay i'd go a little i'd probably try to

01:18:35.360 wiggle you down a little bit if i had any political power well because me like my i view it as for me

01:18:41.680 personally if i if i could have whatever i wanted i would want it to be illegal okay i see that as

01:18:48.960 unrealistic i don't see it changing anytime soon i know we got roe versus wade but the number of

01:18:56.080 abortions increased after that i think it's like a losing issue for conservatives and we should

01:19:01.680 focus on other things that's a really unpopular opinion for a conservative but i've watched like

01:19:07.680 the pro-life movement argue for like a decade and i don't really see them getting much i i know the

01:19:13.760 conservatives see roe versus wade is like a big that's the last win they're ever going to have

01:19:18.240 in my lifetime that's the way i view it so to me i think okay it's not really worth losing like

01:19:26.080 political support for conservatives let's just make a deal with them let's find a point that

01:19:32.480 maybe they're a little bit unhappy we're a little bit unhappy but let's make a deal and move on

01:19:36.800 like that's that's how i view it conservatives don't agree with me i don't think liberals do

01:19:41.200 either because nobody wants to like like if conservatives want zero and some liberals want

01:19:46.880 like six months let's say okay let's meet in the middle at three four and then just stop arguing

01:19:52.880 i know that's like very idealistic that'll never happen but it's if this was pearl's world this is

01:19:58.800 does that make sense yeah no i mean i i do appreciate that perspective yeah like like

01:20:04.320 especially coming from like a pro-life conservative i do appreciate the the ability to be flexible on

01:20:09.360 that point yeah i i don't know how to put it like i'm not like i think it's wrong but i'm realistic

01:20:15.600 on like what we can accomplish like what is realistic for us to like accomplish i think

01:20:21.360 there's just other things yeah and and that's the thing too is i know they're gonna roast me for

01:20:25.040 that look guys i mean it like i don't know if i saw you guys getting stuff done i just don't

01:20:30.400 like i don't see these like protests outside of clinics like doing much i just you know it's i

01:20:36.960 agree and and i will say too that i just want to emphasize i totally respect you being uncomfortable

01:20:44.400 with abortion i respect anybody who is uncomfortable with abortion and i never want to

01:20:51.040 pressure anyone to feel as though they need to become comfortable with it because that's

01:20:55.440 not true i'm pro-choice right and you have the choice to be uncomfortable with it but it's when

01:21:02.800 it comes to your body and so it's just these instances are so complex that we have to recognize

01:21:08.720 that like you can have any opinion that you want as long as it pertains to your body and your body

01:21:13.840 alone yeah and i think it's wrong but you know there's a lot of i don't put it i would like i

01:21:20.960 wish it wasn't the case but it is and i can't it goes back to like it's the same way i was trying

01:21:27.840 to explain to you earlier that this isn't a wish list like i don't just get abortion gone because

01:21:33.360 i want it and it's not really realistic that it just goes away tomorrow so does that make sense

01:21:39.440 yeah no it does make sense um do you think i want to talk about chivalry and women and men getting

01:21:48.160 different sentences for crimes are the two kind of topics i want to end on okay um what do you

01:21:54.800 think about women's sentences are 30 shorter for a man with the same crime do you think that's

01:22:00.800 unfair you'll be shocked to hear that i think it's complex i think that a lot of times the court has

01:22:07.120 to take into account the responsibilities that women have especially when it comes to child

01:22:11.840 rearing and their families because disproportionately that responsibility falls on women

01:22:16.640 and sure you could be um you know convicted of a crime but that doesn't make your your children any

01:22:23.040 less needing for of a family to take care of them so i think that that does play a part in it do i

01:22:28.480 think there are other solutions sure but statistically that plays into the reduced

01:22:32.880 sentences also men tend to have more violent crimes so like i said 90 of the violent crime

01:22:37.680 in our country is committed by men and a lot of times the courts take into account um like the

01:22:43.040 the risk of reincarnation re-incarceration reincarnation uh risk of re-incarceration

01:22:50.800 um and a lot of that has to do with violence and men tend to be more violent so i think when you

01:22:55.520 balance kind of the um the risk that men have towards society and then the benefit

01:23:00.960 or the responsibilities that women bear

01:23:03.620 when it comes to domestic labor and child rearing,

01:23:07.200 I think that that plays a role.

01:23:08.360 Would you like to see it be more fair,

01:23:11.160 like more even in the future?

01:23:13.720 I mean, I don't, yeah.

01:23:14.740 In the name of equality,

01:23:16.020 like would you like in the future

01:23:17.260 for the sentences to be more fair?

01:23:20.040 I mean, it depends on the sentence, but yeah.

01:23:21.860 I mean, I think that if you commit the same crime,

01:23:24.080 then doing the same time makes sense.

01:23:26.180 But I also think that we over-criminalize

01:23:28.380 people in this country.

01:23:29.540 I think that like our prison system is privatized, and I think that that's extremely problematic.

01:23:35.720 So I don't think that the solution is to further incarcerate people.

01:23:39.600 I think that we have to have a holistic approach when it comes to who and why we're incarcerating them.

01:23:46.140 Yeah.

01:23:46.420 So the one part I disagree, I actually think women are more violent than men.

01:23:50.000 And the reason I think they're more violent than men is a couple reasons.

01:23:52.960 Number one, I believe that abortion is murder.

01:23:55.580 but even if you take out abortion I think the most violent people are people that are violent

01:24:00.100 towards the innocent many times when men get prosecuted it's for a reason probably not a

01:24:06.780 good one right but they get into a bar fight accidentally punch someone too hard they die

01:24:10.620 they go to jail that's the majority of like men that commit murder it's from some sort of fight

01:24:16.000 not saying that's right or wrong but it's like women when there's an infanticide meaning a child

01:24:21.520 dies within the first year the police almost never go looking for a man if there's a baby found in a

01:24:25.760 dumpster it's always pretty much unanimously a woman if you look at people who attack the elderly

01:24:32.000 too women are the majority of the ones that attack the elderly i think if women had the same strength

01:24:37.200 that men did they would be equally as violent but the difference is we don't have the strength that

01:24:41.680 men do so when you talk about things like the violence that so we could we could even take out

01:24:46.720 abortion i understand for you that wouldn't be like a factor yeah but i i do want to recognize

01:24:52.080 that you brought it up because what what i heard from you was that abortion is murder and that is

01:24:58.720 violent and so if we take that into account then women are the the primary aggressors in our

01:25:03.440 society but men have so many reasons to be violent and sometimes they have an excuse and sometimes

01:25:10.720 it was an accident and sometimes and so i just want to recognize like that mentality shift when

01:25:16.560 it comes to like having appreciation for the complexity of men's experiences while just not

01:25:23.120 having the same mentality towards women's experiences and women when having an abortion

01:25:28.400 are affecting their body and and nobody externally from their body when men commit violent crimes like

01:25:36.960 they are harming somebody who is not within or a part of their body so those two violent crimes

01:25:43.040 are like not the same and not equivalent in any way but also i just want to recognize the two

01:25:48.160 other things that you said when it comes to elder abuse and infanticide so women statistically bear

01:25:56.400 the majority of responsibility when it comes to both caring for the elderly and caring for children

01:26:02.160 and so statistically you are going to have higher rates of abuse when we are the ones taking care

01:26:07.600 of those people and so it's the same either i just want to correct you so the it's they've looked at

01:26:11.920 that and if that were true then as women spent more time with children you would see a higher

01:26:17.600 rate of crime but as women spend less time with children there's a higher rate of crime so there's

01:26:21.680 no correlation i know i know because a lot of people bring that up what do you mean higher

01:26:25.840 rate of crime for who so if if you're arguing that women um commit crime because they're with the

01:26:32.560 kids more than as we are with the kids less you would see crime go down and it hasn't female women

01:26:38.880 are more abusive towards kids what do you mean crime goes down the rate of them abusing children

01:26:46.560 goes down as the time spent with them goes down that makes sense like you spend less time with

01:26:52.240 them you're sorry it's the other way i said it wrong so say it again so they looked at women

01:26:57.520 spend how much time the women spend with the kids and over the last 50 years women have spent less

01:27:02.480 time with kids but the abuse stats have gone up so if if what you're saying was true and it's about

01:27:08.160 how much time they're spending with kids it would be correlated so and you also have to look at the

01:27:12.720 way that these statistics are gathered over the last 50 years because there's also a bias that

01:27:17.440 comes into play where we are able to better track abuse that happens in modern day compared to

01:27:22.240 before but i will recognize and it's pretty much kids child abuse is mostly women and when it's a

01:27:27.920 man it's usually a stepdad which was the woman's choice to bring into the kid's life so the stepdad

01:27:32.480 has absolutely no responsibility for the abuse he absolutely does but the woman does as well

01:27:37.440 because you are responsible for who you let into your kid's life right and again this goes back to

01:27:42.800 like financial responsibility where a lot of times my point is it's almost overwhelmingly

01:27:47.760 not the biological father because that's my point so women are the majority of abuse when it comes

01:27:54.400 to children and the elderly because they're also the majority of the caretakers and i i think i

01:27:59.840 would disagree with that but i think what you'd see is how women act when they are stronger and

01:28:04.960 have more power but in normal interactions women do not have power it was not an excuse for men

01:28:11.840 that it was okay my point is women don't have the opportunity to kill someone with their fist

01:28:17.440 so they're not going to use that because they can't do it so you're saying that women take

01:28:22.640 advantage of the less fortunate or the more vulnerable they're more abusive towards them

01:28:27.840 they also care for them more statistically right but we just debunked that we didn't though yes

01:28:34.000 we did no because you're saying that we're spending less time with children yet abuse goes

01:28:38.320 up but you could argue so do you know what a confounding factor is tell me so no go ahead

01:28:43.760 tell me okay so a confounding factor are things that could be contributing to a statistic beyond

01:28:50.640 what you recognized within the statistic so this is the same thing like um ice cream consumption

01:28:57.120 goes up in the summer and so do sunburns and so ice cream is the cause of sunburns

01:29:03.120 where no a confounding factor would be both ice cream consumption and sunburns go up in

01:29:08.800 the summer because there's more sunlight and people are outside more and so this is like

01:29:13.600 correlation this is kind of how you guys dance around it because whenever there's a stat that

01:29:18.320 women that makes women look bad you guys never acknowledge it it's just oh it's just because

01:29:23.520 they like okay spending more time with the kid isn't a reason to abuse it there's no excuse no

01:29:29.680 No, but the time, none, no excuse, none.

01:29:34.120 So women are more abusive towards kids and the elderly.

01:29:38.220 No, you have to recognize the way that these statistics are gathered and the

01:29:41.920 confounding factors that impact these statistics.

01:29:44.520 And I know that you don't like to think about complex topics and appreciate

01:29:48.740 nuance as we have, you can't even answer basic questions.

01:29:52.440 No, because you want me to give simple yes or no answer because you want me to

01:29:57.540 give you simple questions to or simple answers to complex questions and that is not the reality

01:30:02.480 that we live in if you ask you can't answer simple questions you are asking complex questions and

01:30:08.080 wanting a simple answer it's not overly difficult to answer a simple question so just not everything

01:30:13.500 is it depends like that's that's what you guys go to whenever there's anything that makes women

01:30:18.360 look bad or anything that benefits men your answer is just it depends it's complicated it's not that

01:30:23.500 simple instead of just answering a direct question listen when you see a complex topic as simple

01:30:31.580 it does not make that topic simple it makes you simple-minded it means that you keep trying to

01:30:37.100 virtue signal that you're smart and i get it okay no i'm trying you're very smart okay go ahead

01:30:42.540 i'm just i'm saying if you're so smart you should be able to answer simple questions you are asking

01:30:48.700 complex questions and you're not recognizing that they are complex i am simply pointing out to you

01:30:54.780 that you are taking part in a complex discussion and desiring it to have a simple answer who is

01:30:59.580 more abusive towards kids than the elderly see and that is a complex question with confounding

01:31:05.580 factors out of the biological parents who is more abusive the people who spend the most time with

01:31:11.420 children are going to have the most opportunity to be abusive compared to people who walk away

01:31:16.620 is answer answer a is mothers answer b is fathers who's more abusive fathers are more absent who is

01:31:23.500 more abusive men or women it is easy to be absent and whose fault is that elaborate on your question

01:31:29.820 whose fault is it if you have an absent father whose fault do you believe it is the mothers

01:31:35.020 why you picked them so he bears no responsibility well many men don't have a choice oh really what

01:31:42.620 percent of the time do men get custody of their kid well over 50 of custody cases are joint custody

01:31:49.740 yeah but this mom is still the prime one of the parents has to be primary yeah and so it's majority

01:31:55.580 the mother and they get every other weekend that's four days a month yeah and the majority of the

01:31:59.820 time men don't fight for majority custody yeah i'll give you an i'll give you a story so there

01:32:05.260 is a guy in a similar situation and he he it's been two years since he's seen his kid because

01:32:10.220 his wife filed a restraining order on him and did not take him to criminal court this man was in

01:32:15.580 tears in my studio talking about how he and you're rolling your eyes it's not funny no because he was

01:32:20.780 and i'm telling you because i'm i'm telling you why i think the way i do and he's in tears telling

01:32:26.220 me that he cannot see his children it's been two years he has three kids and he can't fight because

01:32:33.260 his wife kicked him out of the house he lived in he's on child support immediately and he lost his

01:32:39.420 job and the thing is they have to go back to court and renegotiate the child support and it doesn't

01:32:44.700 take into account that he hasn't been employed in six months because you know it was like out of

01:32:49.100 the blue you know 80 of men don't see divorce coming he didn't expect this because they don't

01:32:54.220 pay attention and why can we can we ask why does like this is i'm trying to educate you on what's

01:33:01.420 going on you're giving me anecdotal evidence when i would instead i would like to talk about why

01:33:05.180 okay so well you don't have to like don't yell like for what you've over talked to me this entire

01:33:09.420 interview girl and so what happened was now he has the choice he goes to a lawyer and he can spend

01:33:15.820 three hundred thousand dollars hundred thousand dollars to maybe get four days a month men look

01:33:21.660 at that and they just don't see it as worth fighting something they're probably going to lose

01:33:25.820 again that's anecdotal evidence so can you tell me why did divorces happen well the different

01:33:32.060 sources will tell you different things but irreconcilable differences is one of the most

01:33:36.620 commonly cited reasons sometimes it's infidelity um other ones are money financial and what role

01:33:45.340 do you think men play in those reasons in irreconcilable differences sure if you want

01:33:50.300 to go with that one what role um i mean in a divorce both parties play a role so i'm right

01:33:57.100 yeah yeah but you're saying that i'm just trying to get what you're asking yeah so i'll clarify

01:34:01.980 So you're saying that 80% of men don't see divorce coming, right?

01:34:06.240 So then, logically, going off of that statistic, you would ask, well, what causes divorce then?

01:34:11.760 What are the reasons that women are leaving men and why don't they see it coming?

01:34:17.140 And so irrevocably...

01:34:18.460 There's no good reason.

01:34:20.220 To get a divorce?

01:34:21.640 I mean, outside of extreme cases, not really.

01:34:24.720 I mean, your kid is more likely to become a criminal.

01:34:28.480 Your kid's more likely to drop out of school.

01:34:30.460 your kid's more likely to commit suicide your kid is that every statistical disadvantage in society

01:34:36.620 because you chose divorce so take kids out of the equation okay we're just talking about relationship

01:34:42.620 dynamics okay fine okay go ahead so you i'll go back to you said 80 of men don't see divorce

01:34:50.620 coming and then we talked about the primary reasons people get divorced and so i'm asking you

01:34:56.540 what role do men play in the reasons that people get divorced and you said that you don't think

01:35:01.660 there's any good reasons so i just want you to elaborate on that thought i don't think there's

01:35:06.460 good reason when you have children um but people have a right to do what they want and there are

01:35:14.620 reasons for relationship breakdown that both parties contribute to so i don't i don't know

01:35:20.460 which like what you're trying to get at so go ahead yeah so majority of the time when you talk

01:35:26.140 about irreconcilable irreconcilable differences um a lot of times we're talking about communication

01:35:31.660 breakdown and we're talking about religious differences we're talking about financial

01:35:35.580 differences like that's a very overarching topic right and as we've recognized at the very beginning

01:35:41.020 of this interview men don't tend to take it seriously when people care about the words that

01:35:46.780 are said when people care about the way that they're treated men just ignore that they say

01:35:52.380 who cares whatever and guess what your wife cares and so it matters when men don't want to participate

01:36:00.780 in these these lines of communication when men don't want to learn empathy and active listening

01:36:06.940 when men don't want to participate in the domestic labor of a household those things are going to

01:36:12.540 slowly deteriorate a relationship over time and that is why men don't see it coming because in

01:36:18.220 order to see it coming you have to be partaking in these conversations if you have no desire

01:36:23.420 to partake in the conversation and you're constantly invalidating your partner and their

01:36:27.740 feelings then that's how you don't see it coming yeah because men know that women are never happy

01:36:33.500 and women like to complain and i think an example is we see more protests even though we live

01:36:38.700 in the freest society with the most choice than ever in all of human history and women are still

01:36:46.880 complaining and you this translates to all areas of life including relationships women complain

01:36:53.240 because they don't like men's tone and it's very almost egotistical because they you you think that

01:36:58.980 everyone should communicate the way that you do but people are different but you should be able

01:37:03.180 to communicate with your partner what does that mean like i mean it's easy to talk about in the

01:37:07.620 abstract what does that mean day what does it mean to communicate with your partner like about what

01:37:11.780 saying hello good morning like what do you yeah so um as as a married woman i can tell you that

01:37:18.020 communication with my husband is extremely important on a day-to-day basis and that can

01:37:22.020 that takes part or that includes a variety of things right so i have a very high stress job

01:37:27.380 so i want him to be able to hear me out and recognize when i'm having a hard day or i'm

01:37:32.180 stressed out i want him to be able to recognize when i'm feeling overwhelmed or when i feel like

01:37:36.580 i need help and same thing for him if he has a hard day at work if something happened to him or

01:37:41.220 if he's like you know what this is how i'm feeling today i want to be able to actively listen and

01:37:46.340 make him feel know that he is loved and make him know that i will do everything in my power to

01:37:50.740 take some things off his plate when i need to or for him to take things off my plate when i i need

01:37:55.780 it and so that's what i mean like it's weird but if they don't communicate the way you want then

01:38:00.820 what you call it quits well i think that if you're not able to properly communicate with your partner

01:38:05.220 and you've tried and you've tried and you've tried then that's not the right partner for you

01:38:09.060 okay and that's totally fine i'm really not against women legally divorcing um i have my

01:38:14.820 opinions on it but you've said in the past that you are against divorce you know what no you know

01:38:19.620 what i switched i i've talked about this on my channel you might not have seen it i switched

01:38:23.620 my opinion i used to think we should ban divorce and i switched my opinion on that oh okay yeah i

01:38:28.580 did um because honestly there are so many miserable wives that men just don't deserve

01:38:33.860 to be tortured for life in my opinion and i think that a lot of men are the reason that women are

01:38:38.900 tortured yeah totally fine who cares why um but you know i'm not in the process of babysitting

01:38:44.900 adults if you want to go get a divorce get divorced yeah my point is pay for it don't put

01:38:50.180 anyone in child support don't put anyone in alimony you wanted to be equal be equal pay for your

01:38:54.740 choice do you want to have access to your children pay 50 50 no it's 50 his dna in my opinion he

01:39:02.580 should get 50 custody off the bat and that should be a right of his because that is half his child

01:39:08.340 if he wants it yeah yeah but he i mean on average you're talking at least 100k to get custody that's

01:39:15.860 a lot of money like most people don't have that amount of money yeah how much do you think it

01:39:20.980 takes to raise a child i've seen different reports um but it's expensive yeah yeah exactly and so

01:39:28.180 like i like how we like to complain about the cost it'll take men to fight for custody but we don't

01:39:32.900 actually care about the cost burden that will land on women in addition to the domestic burden of

01:39:37.940 raising but if it's 50 50 custody then he pays for the time with the child and she pays for the time

01:39:44.500 with the child yeah and majority of cases men don't want 50 50. they they don't fight for it

01:39:50.100 because they know they won't get it that's not true because actually statistically when men do

01:39:55.220 fight for it they do get it the majority of the time they get it sometimes i mean i covered a

01:40:00.900 divorce in texas where he spent 2.1 million on a divorce and he got four he did get decent custody

01:40:07.220 got 49 of the time but yeah but he spent 2.1 million the average guy doesn't have that yeah

01:40:15.940 so that's a luxury for rich men to fight for custody and that's ridiculous in this country

01:40:22.580 that you have a child that doesn't belong to you so it sounds like you have a problem with the

01:40:26.100 legal system so maybe we should address the flaws in the legal system that was designed by men

01:40:31.940 well no because the most recent laws were for women like the violence like the violent the

01:40:38.340 violence against women act was pushed because women wanted that put yep there you go there's

01:40:43.380 one but women abuse that act they they call abuse on everything like they call abuse on everything

01:40:49.620 everything okay what do you think of chivalry do you think men should be chivalrous yeah i mean

01:40:56.820 i don't think that it's a requirement i think that chivalry is somewhat of an outdated term

01:41:02.580 and i think that it's going to depend depend on the person um i think that again relationships

01:41:07.700 are complex and not every woman is going to want somebody who caters to them i think that they're

01:41:13.060 going to want somebody who is empathetic and who is caring and who shows compassion and that can

01:41:18.500 take a variety of forms it doesn't have to necessarily be the traditional definition of

01:41:23.300 chivalry so for example do you think women are owed like protection like men should be chivalrous

01:41:30.020 and step in should they open doors should they protect like protect women in public if a woman's

01:41:35.860 getting robbed is it a man's duty to step in so protect women from men other women men whoever

01:41:43.140 so again 90 of the violent crime in our country is perpetrated by men so when you say that men

01:41:47.700 should have the responsibility to protect us you're also saying that men should be the solution to the

01:41:52.020 problem that they cause sure i just find that humorous um i think that any decent human being

01:41:58.820 should intervene when they see violence being enacted okay so you do think men owe women

01:42:04.260 protection i think that any decent person who sees a violent act being committed should intervene

01:42:10.260 equality okay so you think women are equally should also intervene yeah okay i think that

01:42:16.820 if you see a violent crime being committed then you should intervene do men have better means to

01:42:22.100 intervene for sure do i think they should be the only ones to intervene no okay holding doors men

01:42:28.260 and women equal i have no opinion i don't really care paying on dates men and women i think men

01:42:34.100 should pay on dates yeah at least the first few okay that's not really equal though well the amount

01:42:40.100 of time and investment that women have to put in um trying to think of what else chivalry

01:42:47.860 proposing men neil um i think that you think of women proposing i don't mind women proposing

01:42:53.620 if they want to you're fine equal yeah okay well i think that's all i got for you today

01:42:58.740 did you have fun sure this was an interesting interview yeah i had a good time okay anything

01:43:04.660 else you want to cover there's anything else you want to add we got through all of it right i think

01:43:09.060 we're good yeah okay well thank you very much for coming on this was fun um you want to tell

01:43:14.020 them your socials when they can your social media where they can find you god yeah so you can find

01:43:19.140 me primarily on tick tock um i'm dr bronte b-r-o-n-t-e like the bronte sisters um and then

01:43:25.620 on instagram i'm at be kind and curious cool and you're welcome to use any of the clips shorts

01:43:32.020 whatever for your social media guys who do you think is right feel free put whatever either or

01:43:37.300 her her stuff my stuff like the video on your way out and subscribe to the channel thank you

01:43:41.820 guys so much for watching and i will talk to you guys next time bye

Pearl - December 02, 2025

Feminist Don’t Want To Do The Hard Jobs @DrBronte ｜ The Sitdown

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript