Pearl - February 23, 2025
Feminist Makes Fun Of Men Losing Their Job | The Sitdown
Episode Stats
Words per minute
188.99353
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Misogyny
27
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss the complicated issue of child support and custody in divorce cases. Should it be 50/50 custody or no alimony? What about joint custody? Should alimony be allowed? Should there be no child support at all? What is the best option for a divorce between a partner and a child? We discuss these questions and more in this episode.
Transcript
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But if you still want to be in that child's life and you want to be involved, then you will have
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to pay child support. So now they take it directly out of your bank account. You can lose your
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fishing license. You can. You can. You can. It is. It's really. There's men that themselves over
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this. I know you think it's funny, but like I've interviewed men that were a mile from their kids
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and haven't seen them in years. In general, if there's no abuse or anything crazy like that 50
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50 off the bat as a starting point, I think that every case should be taken into account
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from its individual and nuanced perspective. I think that, sure, abuse should absolutely
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be taken into account, but also should finances also should desire for child care also should
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geographical location like all of these different things. But I'm asking for a starting point.
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50 50 custody off the bat. I think that each partner should be looked at equitably and should
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there should be no discrimination towards either from the get go from the get like, okay,
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so we would agree off the bat starting it's 50 50. I understand if there's abuse, if there's
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one parent wants to work more totally fine. They can work that out. But I'm saying to start off
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the bat 50 50 custody, no child support, no alimony. No, that's not what I said. Okay. No child support,
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no alimony. That's not what I said. I'm asking you. What's your thoughts? Yeah. So as I previously
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said, I think that each case should be analyzed and should be, you know, when it comes to finances,
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when it comes to abuse, when it comes to all of these things, like that's going to be so unique
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to each individual circumstance. So to say no alimony or full child support or 50 50, like these
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are people and people are complex. And so you seem to want simple answers for complex issues.
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No, I want a starting point. I understand that it's complicated and family dynamics.
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There's abuse of women. There's abuse of men that would, that would change a family dynamic. You
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would agree. Right. There are, um, differences and schedules for work totally can be worked out,
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but I'm saying off the bat 50 50 custody, no child support, no alimony. Yeah. And I disagree.
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Yeah. And, and that's my point. Whenever I talk about an issue that would help men or be more fair
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to men and that benefits women, you don't give me a straight answer. Who does it? And you say it's
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complicated. Who designed the legal system? Who designed it? Yeah. I don't know. Men. I mean,
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it depends because some of the laws are like title 4d came in the past, um, 50 years,
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I want to say. And by then like women have the majority of voting power. So most of the laws in
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recent years are catered to women. So actually most of these laws are not determined by a vote.
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Most of these laws are determined by politicians. And right now more men historically and present day
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hold positions of power. And so these policies that you're talking about are not policies that
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the population is voted on at large. These are policies that have been designed primarily by men in
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power. So if you want to talk about how the system is detrimental to men, you also need to recognize
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that men are detrimental to men. Right. But who, who's there, who are they representing the
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politicians? Who votes more? Who votes more? Yeah. Who turns up to vote more? Who is the majority of
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the population? Women. Okay. So they represent women's interests. Not necessarily. And you can see
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that what, what percent of the time do men get custody in family court? So it, it actually, um,
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now the majority of child custody cases are joint custody. That's not true. It is. It's about 50.3%.
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Men only get custody 10% of the time. So we're looking at different statistics. Most of most
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alimony payments are men to women. Most child support payments are men to women. And that's
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because historical precedent. Yeah. You have to take into like historical context of like the, and also men
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earn more than women. Like there's so much nuance to this, but, um, from Cornell, I was reading a study
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by Cornell university that looked at divorces and custody and all these things. And the majority,
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I think it was 50.3% of, um, child custody cases end up as being joint custody.
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The majority of child support and alimony payments are men to women. Yeah. Because men earn more.
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That's the biggest, that is the biggest wealth transfer in the United States. If women want
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to be independent, I actually have no problem. Like I, again, I, as I said before, I think it's
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very impressive. You became a doctor. I just think that people, that women that want to take
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that path should pay for it. So do you think that the money is for her or for the children?
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I think that women do not always spend it on the kids.
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Because it takes more to actually, you know, there are men in poverty over these laws.
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Yeah. And a lot of child support isn't paid either. And you can also opt out of child support
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by relinquishing your parental rights in a lot of States. So if you don't want any rights as a
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parent, then you can relinquish those rights and then you won't be held accountable for child
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support. But if you still want to be in that child's life and you want to be involved, then
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you will have to pay child support. So now they take it directly out of your bank account. You can
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lose your fishing license. You can, um, you can, you can, it is, it's really sick. There's men that
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killed themselves over this. I know you think it's funny, but like I've interviewed men that
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were a mile from their kids and haven't seen them in years. And they want, they wanted nothing. I
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know you think it's like funny, but it's really not. No, I don't think that it's funny. I just
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think, I think that you bringing up men losing their fishing licenses while talking about women
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bearing the majority of like childcare duties is like that, that like comparison is humorous to me.
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Not, not men unaliving themselves, not men losing money, but just like that comparison is humorous.
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I mean, that's like one of many things that they lose. They lose their fishing license. Like that's one.
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But I'm, my point is that it's unconstitutional. Like I know you think it's funny, but it's really
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not. I mean, men are nine times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce. This literally
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kills men. Yeah, exactly. Because men actually benefit from marriage more than women do. And
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when you look at the statistics of like post divorce, um, mental health outcomes, men have
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worse mental health outcomes than women. Women are typically happier after divorce. And so if you
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want to argue that, that marriage disproportionately benefits women, like that's not true. I'd be pretty
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unhappy too. If I was on child support or alimony and I had a hard time seeing my kids and you had
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to support your children. What a hard life. Well, you understand that it's not taxed. So the, the
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problem is they take over 50% of the man's income because it's not, so they have to pay taxes on the
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stuff they're giving her and take half of his paycheck to support his children that he wants to be
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involved in their lives. Right. But it wasn't his choice because women leave the majority of the time.
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It's his choice to relinquish his parental rights if he wants to. Well, I'm, what I'm saying is
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many men want to be married and they want to be an involved father and they want to stay with the
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mother of their children. My point is if she makes the decision to leave, she should pay for it. If
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you want to leave, that's totally fine, but you should pay to raise your kid. Is it not his child
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as well? And he should pay for the time. That's why I said 50, 50 custody off the bat, no child
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support, no alimony. So she gets to take on all of the childcare responsibilities, but he, all he gets,
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he doesn't have to like pay anything. He doesn't have to have any buy-in. I didn't say all I said,
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50, 50 custody. He should have the kid half the time. But doesn't have to pay any money towards it.
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No, he should pay for the kid when the kid's at his house. Okay. And so the majority of the time
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when the kid is at the mother's house, he doesn't have to be involved in any way financially.
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No, she should pay for it. She has a job. Why, why should he have to pay for a kid?
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He should have to, he should support it. If she chose to have the kid and she chooses divorce,
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why should she not have to pay for her own decision? That's the thing. See, you want,
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that's, there it is. You want all the freedom to do whatever you want, but you don't want to have
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to pay for it. No, because I also think that the way that you, the way that you look at these
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issues and the way that you look at these divorces is very nefarious towards women.
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And so I just think that it's very interesting to see the way that you speak about women and the
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way that you think about women and the way that you think that we make these decisions as if we're
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just flippantly getting a divorce and like taking advantage of men as if like, it's not more nuanced
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than that, because you don't seem to appreciate the nuance of the human experience and the complexity
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of relationships. You know, I think there are valid reasons for divorce. If women want to divorce,
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that's totally fine. They can do that. I think that they should pay for their decisions. Again,
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this goes back to, I say, if you want the freedom to do something, you should take the responsibility
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that comes with it. You want them to have the freedom to do something, but not have the responsibility
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that comes with it. So you say you can have the freedom to divorce. Totally. We agree, right?
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We can have the freedom to be a single mother, to go into medicine or whatever career you want,
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but I think you should have the responsibility to pay for it. And I don't think that, do you think
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Well, I would just flip it around, right? I would say that if men want the freedom to be a part of
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their child's life, then they should accept the responsibility that that entails, which includes
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financial responsibility. But women have the right to work now. Yeah, but men still out earn women.
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Because they do harder jobs. Not necessarily, no. Because you don't think doing an infrastructure job
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is more difficult than the number one employers of women, which is admin, assistance, education.
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Education, you get out at like three o'clock, 2.30. I mean, there's men, again, there's men dying,
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getting you the chair you're sitting on. There's men dying to protect you, literally.
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So statistically, when they look at the gender wage gap, they've shown that women in the exact
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same positions with the exact same qualifications make less than men. So it's not this like strange,
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overarching pattern that you like to point out that men are in these dangerous jobs and they run
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society. Like, that's just not true when it comes to the gender wage gap. They've controlled for these
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variables when they study this. And there's still a very significant gender wage gap, even when you
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control for different industries, different degrees, different qualifications, different hours,
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women working all of the same things as men, hours, degrees, industries, education, whatever,
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still make less than men. So if you want to pull it back towards child care or child support,
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then you have to recognize that like on a societal scale, like the wage gap is there. And so that's
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also going to contribute to the gap in child support and financial responsibility. Well, women don't do as
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good of a job. They don't produce as much in the workforce. That's why they get paid back.
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That's actually incorrect. They've done, they've done it.
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They make 80% of the world's stuff. Women. Okay. Men have invented 90% of things. Men.
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Where did you get that statistic? Google it. Google it. Right. I will. And I would argue that
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especially historically. A world without men too. It's in that book. It's an economist. He breaks down.
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I would argue that also historically women have been erased from their accomplishments. A lot of people
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don't know that Albert Einstein had a wife who actually helped him and got the same degrees
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that he did. She went to the same schools that he did, same classes, but they didn't award her a
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degree because she was a woman and I'm not done. And she helped him develop the monumental calculations
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that we still utilize today. And he's been quoted saying that he would be nowhere near as successful
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and would have never found the, um, like developed the equations that he did without her. So that's
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just one anecdotal part. But when you look at the actual productivity and efficiency of women,
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if you are a female surgeon, you are going to have better surgical outcomes. This has been studied
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numerous times and statistically female surgeons have better outcomes than male surgeons. They've also
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analyzed the top 500 companies like fortune 500, I think. Yeah, but they're only, they're only 20%
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of surgeons. Yeah. And so isn't that amazing that only 20% of women have better outcomes than 80%. And
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they would be doing the majority of medical breakthroughs. They're not. They're not the majority. But they
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are the surgeries that they are doing and the work that they are doing is higher quality than the work
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that men are doing. According to what some study, if they could dominate the field, they would go do
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it. We are. Where's the female billionaires? All the female billionaires are rich off of men's money. Yeah,
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so it's actually 80% of billionaires inherited their family's money. But that's beyond the
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From men because historical, because historical precedent. Men are more productive. Historical
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precedent, Pearl. But there's, we've had 50 years, like where is the female Elon Musk? Where is?
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So they've actually analyzed the top 500 companies and female CEOs, companies that are run by female CEOs
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outperform companies that are run by male CEOs. So as I've said before, if women were not historically
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stagnated and kept behind and banned from partaking in education in all of these industries, I would
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argue that our society would be better off. We would be safer, we'd be happier, we'd be more efficient,
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just based on the last 50 years where we have been able to partake at a higher level. And all the
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statistics show that we are more successful than men when we compete with them. And we are still making
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up for the historical precedent in the past. And that's, and we do all of that while enduring
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discrimination, while enduring doubt, while enduring things like pregnancy and childbearing without
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maternal or maternity leave. That's guaranteed. We're the only developed country in the world that
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doesn't have mandatory maternity leave. Like our country is so broken on all of these levels. And we
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have so many other things that we could be talking about to improve society. But instead we're talking
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about like how men die on crab boats and they have to pay child support when like, arguably that is not
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the biggest issue that we have in our, in our country. So you think that we talk too much about
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men dying at work? No, that's not what I said. I think that's an, no, I think that's an oversimplification