Pearl - February 23, 2025


Feminist Makes Fun Of Men Losing Their Job | The Sitdown


Episode Stats


Length

14 minutes

Words per minute

188.99353

Word count

2,776

Sentence count

222

Harmful content

Misogyny

27

sentences flagged

Hate speech

21

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the complicated issue of child support and custody in divorce cases. Should it be 50/50 custody or no alimony? What about joint custody? Should alimony be allowed? Should there be no child support at all? What is the best option for a divorce between a partner and a child? We discuss these questions and more in this episode.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 But if you still want to be in that child's life and you want to be involved, then you will have
00:00:03.860 to pay child support. So now they take it directly out of your bank account. You can lose your
00:00:08.180 fishing license. You can. You can. You can. It is. It's really. There's men that themselves over
00:00:14.900 this. I know you think it's funny, but like I've interviewed men that were a mile from their kids
00:00:20.020 and haven't seen them in years. In general, if there's no abuse or anything crazy like that 50
00:00:25.460 50 off the bat as a starting point, I think that every case should be taken into account
00:00:31.900 from its individual and nuanced perspective. I think that, sure, abuse should absolutely
00:00:36.260 be taken into account, but also should finances also should desire for child care also should
00:00:41.760 geographical location like all of these different things. But I'm asking for a starting point.
00:00:46.640 50 50 custody off the bat. I think that each partner should be looked at equitably and should
00:00:52.780 there should be no discrimination towards either from the get go from the get like, okay,
00:00:57.580 so we would agree off the bat starting it's 50 50. I understand if there's abuse, if there's
00:01:03.820 one parent wants to work more totally fine. They can work that out. But I'm saying to start off
00:01:09.960 the bat 50 50 custody, no child support, no alimony. No, that's not what I said. Okay. No child support, 0.99
00:01:17.060 no alimony. That's not what I said. I'm asking you. What's your thoughts? Yeah. So as I previously
00:01:22.300 said, I think that each case should be analyzed and should be, you know, when it comes to finances,
00:01:31.400 when it comes to abuse, when it comes to all of these things, like that's going to be so unique
00:01:36.300 to each individual circumstance. So to say no alimony or full child support or 50 50, like these
00:01:42.960 are people and people are complex. And so you seem to want simple answers for complex issues.
00:01:48.660 No, I want a starting point. I understand that it's complicated and family dynamics.
00:01:55.580 There's abuse of women. There's abuse of men that would, that would change a family dynamic. You
00:02:00.560 would agree. Right. There are, um, differences and schedules for work totally can be worked out,
00:02:07.540 but I'm saying off the bat 50 50 custody, no child support, no alimony. Yeah. And I disagree.
00:02:14.600 Yeah. And, and that's my point. Whenever I talk about an issue that would help men or be more fair
00:02:20.880 to men and that benefits women, you don't give me a straight answer. Who does it? And you say it's
00:02:26.040 complicated. Who designed the legal system? Who designed it? Yeah. I don't know. Men. I mean,
00:02:33.340 it depends because some of the laws are like title 4d came in the past, um, 50 years,
00:02:40.460 I want to say. And by then like women have the majority of voting power. So most of the laws in 1.00
00:02:46.320 recent years are catered to women. So actually most of these laws are not determined by a vote.
00:02:51.800 Most of these laws are determined by politicians. And right now more men historically and present day 0.92
00:02:58.980 hold positions of power. And so these policies that you're talking about are not policies that
00:03:03.740 the population is voted on at large. These are policies that have been designed primarily by men in
00:03:09.000 power. So if you want to talk about how the system is detrimental to men, you also need to recognize
00:03:13.660 that men are detrimental to men. Right. But who, who's there, who are they representing the
00:03:19.900 politicians? Who votes more? Who votes more? Yeah. Who turns up to vote more? Who is the majority of
00:03:25.760 the population? Women. Okay. So they represent women's interests. Not necessarily. And you can see 0.99
00:03:32.500 that what, what percent of the time do men get custody in family court? So it, it actually, um,
00:03:39.000 now the majority of child custody cases are joint custody. That's not true. It is. It's about 50.3%.
00:03:46.140 Men only get custody 10% of the time. So we're looking at different statistics. Most of most
00:03:51.260 alimony payments are men to women. Most child support payments are men to women. And that's 0.84
00:03:57.580 because historical precedent. Yeah. You have to take into like historical context of like the, and also men
00:04:03.540 earn more than women. Like there's so much nuance to this, but, um, from Cornell, I was reading a study
00:04:07.980 by Cornell university that looked at divorces and custody and all these things. And the majority,
00:04:12.540 I think it was 50.3% of, um, child custody cases end up as being joint custody.
00:04:19.280 The majority of child support and alimony payments are men to women. Yeah. Because men earn more. 0.63
00:04:24.920 That's the biggest, that is the biggest wealth transfer in the United States. If women want 1.00
00:04:28.120 to be independent, I actually have no problem. Like I, again, I, as I said before, I think it's
00:04:33.120 very impressive. You became a doctor. I just think that people, that women that want to take 1.00
00:04:38.260 that path should pay for it. So do you think that the money is for her or for the children?
00:04:43.720 I think that women do not always spend it on the kids. 1.00
00:04:49.960 Because it takes more to actually, you know, there are men in poverty over these laws.
00:04:55.760 Yeah. And a lot of child support isn't paid either. And you can also opt out of child support
00:04:59.820 by relinquishing your parental rights in a lot of States. So if you don't want any rights as a
00:05:04.380 parent, then you can relinquish those rights and then you won't be held accountable for child
00:05:08.600 support. But if you still want to be in that child's life and you want to be involved, then
00:05:12.500 you will have to pay child support. So now they take it directly out of your bank account. You can
00:05:17.020 lose your fishing license. You can, um, you can, you can, it is, it's really sick. There's men that
00:05:23.200 killed themselves over this. I know you think it's funny, but like I've interviewed men that
00:05:27.820 were a mile from their kids and haven't seen them in years. And they want, they wanted nothing. I
00:05:32.340 know you think it's like funny, but it's really not. No, I don't think that it's funny. I just
00:05:35.860 think, I think that you bringing up men losing their fishing licenses while talking about women
00:05:40.660 bearing the majority of like childcare duties is like that, that like comparison is humorous to me.
00:05:47.160 Not, not men unaliving themselves, not men losing money, but just like that comparison is humorous.
00:05:51.540 I mean, that's like one of many things that they lose. They lose their fishing license. Like that's one.
00:05:56.200 But I'm, my point is that it's unconstitutional. Like I know you think it's funny, but it's really
00:06:00.520 not. I mean, men are nine times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce. This literally
00:06:05.940 kills men. Yeah, exactly. Because men actually benefit from marriage more than women do. And 0.96
00:06:11.120 when you look at the statistics of like post divorce, um, mental health outcomes, men have
00:06:16.620 worse mental health outcomes than women. Women are typically happier after divorce. And so if you 1.00
00:06:20.660 want to argue that, that marriage disproportionately benefits women, like that's not true. I'd be pretty
00:06:25.540 unhappy too. If I was on child support or alimony and I had a hard time seeing my kids and you had
00:06:30.260 to support your children. What a hard life. Well, you understand that it's not taxed. So the, the
00:06:36.880 problem is they take over 50% of the man's income because it's not, so they have to pay taxes on the
00:06:43.120 stuff they're giving her and take half of his paycheck to support his children that he wants to be
00:06:48.140 involved in their lives. Right. But it wasn't his choice because women leave the majority of the time. 1.00
00:06:52.540 It's his choice to relinquish his parental rights if he wants to. Well, I'm, what I'm saying is
00:06:56.140 many men want to be married and they want to be an involved father and they want to stay with the
00:07:02.200 mother of their children. My point is if she makes the decision to leave, she should pay for it. If 0.99
00:07:07.440 you want to leave, that's totally fine, but you should pay to raise your kid. Is it not his child
00:07:11.780 as well? And he should pay for the time. That's why I said 50, 50 custody off the bat, no child
00:07:17.680 support, no alimony. So she gets to take on all of the childcare responsibilities, but he, all he gets,
00:07:24.080 he doesn't have to like pay anything. He doesn't have to have any buy-in. I didn't say all I said,
00:07:28.380 50, 50 custody. He should have the kid half the time. But doesn't have to pay any money towards it.
00:07:33.560 No, he should pay for the kid when the kid's at his house. Okay. And so the majority of the time
00:07:38.660 when the kid is at the mother's house, he doesn't have to be involved in any way financially.
00:07:45.220 No, she should pay for it. She has a job. Why, why should he have to pay for a kid?
00:07:50.980 He should have to, he should support it. If she chose to have the kid and she chooses divorce,
00:07:56.340 why should she not have to pay for her own decision? That's the thing. See, you want, 0.65
00:08:00.020 that's, there it is. You want all the freedom to do whatever you want, but you don't want to have
00:08:03.820 to pay for it. No, because I also think that the way that you, the way that you look at these
00:08:07.940 issues and the way that you look at these divorces is very nefarious towards women. 1.00
00:08:13.700 And so I just think that it's very interesting to see the way that you speak about women and the
00:08:18.980 way that you think about women and the way that you think that we make these decisions as if we're
00:08:23.440 just flippantly getting a divorce and like taking advantage of men as if like, it's not more nuanced
00:08:29.120 than that, because you don't seem to appreciate the nuance of the human experience and the complexity
00:08:34.420 of relationships. You know, I think there are valid reasons for divorce. If women want to divorce, 1.00
00:08:40.140 that's totally fine. They can do that. I think that they should pay for their decisions. Again,
00:08:46.020 this goes back to, I say, if you want the freedom to do something, you should take the responsibility
00:08:50.520 that comes with it. You want them to have the freedom to do something, but not have the responsibility
00:08:55.580 that comes with it. So you say you can have the freedom to divorce. Totally. We agree, right?
00:09:01.680 We can have the freedom to be a single mother, to go into medicine or whatever career you want,
00:09:08.140 but I think you should have the responsibility to pay for it. And I don't think that, do you think
00:09:12.440 that's unreasonable?
00:09:13.140 Well, I would just flip it around, right? I would say that if men want the freedom to be a part of
00:09:20.120 their child's life, then they should accept the responsibility that that entails, which includes
00:09:25.440 financial responsibility. But women have the right to work now. Yeah, but men still out earn women. 1.00
00:09:32.520 Because they do harder jobs. Not necessarily, no. Because you don't think doing an infrastructure job
00:09:39.620 is more difficult than the number one employers of women, which is admin, assistance, education. 0.98
00:09:47.680 Education, you get out at like three o'clock, 2.30. I mean, there's men, again, there's men dying,
00:09:54.540 getting you the chair you're sitting on. There's men dying to protect you, literally.
00:09:59.520 So statistically, when they look at the gender wage gap, they've shown that women in the exact 0.97
00:10:05.320 same positions with the exact same qualifications make less than men. So it's not this like strange,
00:10:12.600 overarching pattern that you like to point out that men are in these dangerous jobs and they run
00:10:16.520 society. Like, that's just not true when it comes to the gender wage gap. They've controlled for these 1.00
00:10:22.160 variables when they study this. And there's still a very significant gender wage gap, even when you 0.97
00:10:27.920 control for different industries, different degrees, different qualifications, different hours,
00:10:32.960 women working all of the same things as men, hours, degrees, industries, education, whatever, 1.00
00:10:39.640 still make less than men. So if you want to pull it back towards child care or child support, 0.66
00:10:45.240 then you have to recognize that like on a societal scale, like the wage gap is there. And so that's
00:10:52.460 also going to contribute to the gap in child support and financial responsibility. Well, women don't do as 1.00
00:10:57.480 good of a job. They don't produce as much in the workforce. That's why they get paid back. 0.56
00:11:01.200 That's actually incorrect. They've done, they've done it.
00:11:02.980 They make 80% of the world's stuff. Women. Okay. Men have invented 90% of things. Men. 0.97
00:11:10.580 Where did you get that statistic? Google it. Google it. Right. I will. And I would argue that
00:11:15.740 especially historically. A world without men too. It's in that book. It's an economist. He breaks down.
00:11:21.120 I would argue that also historically women have been erased from their accomplishments. A lot of people 1.00
00:11:26.840 don't know that Albert Einstein had a wife who actually helped him and got the same degrees
00:11:32.000 that he did. She went to the same schools that he did, same classes, but they didn't award her a
00:11:37.260 degree because she was a woman and I'm not done. And she helped him develop the monumental calculations
00:11:44.720 that we still utilize today. And he's been quoted saying that he would be nowhere near as successful
00:11:50.060 and would have never found the, um, like developed the equations that he did without her. So that's
00:11:56.220 just one anecdotal part. But when you look at the actual productivity and efficiency of women, 1.00
00:12:02.040 if you are a female surgeon, you are going to have better surgical outcomes. This has been studied 1.00
00:12:07.580 numerous times and statistically female surgeons have better outcomes than male surgeons. They've also 0.82
00:12:13.340 analyzed the top 500 companies like fortune 500, I think. Yeah, but they're only, they're only 20%
00:12:18.340 of surgeons. Yeah. And so isn't that amazing that only 20% of women have better outcomes than 80%. And
00:12:24.260 they would be doing the majority of medical breakthroughs. They're not. They're not the majority. But they
00:12:29.540 are the surgeries that they are doing and the work that they are doing is higher quality than the work
00:12:35.220 that men are doing. According to what some study, if they could dominate the field, they would go do 0.99
00:12:41.060 it. We are. Where's the female billionaires? All the female billionaires are rich off of men's money. Yeah, 1.00
00:12:46.580 so it's actually 80% of billionaires inherited their family's money. But that's beyond the
00:12:51.540 point. From a man or a woman?
00:12:52.500 From men because historical, because historical precedent. Men are more productive. Historical 0.99
00:12:58.340 precedent, Pearl. But there's, we've had 50 years, like where is the female Elon Musk? Where is? 0.96
00:13:04.660 So they've actually analyzed the top 500 companies and female CEOs, companies that are run by female CEOs 0.99
00:13:12.420 outperform companies that are run by male CEOs. So as I've said before, if women were not historically 0.85
00:13:18.420 stagnated and kept behind and banned from partaking in education in all of these industries, I would
00:13:25.940 argue that our society would be better off. We would be safer, we'd be happier, we'd be more efficient,
00:13:31.620 just based on the last 50 years where we have been able to partake at a higher level. And all the
00:13:36.820 statistics show that we are more successful than men when we compete with them. And we are still making
00:13:42.260 up for the historical precedent in the past. And that's, and we do all of that while enduring
00:13:47.700 discrimination, while enduring doubt, while enduring things like pregnancy and childbearing without
00:13:54.020 maternal or maternity leave. That's guaranteed. We're the only developed country in the world that 0.99
00:14:00.020 doesn't have mandatory maternity leave. Like our country is so broken on all of these levels. And we
00:14:06.740 have so many other things that we could be talking about to improve society. But instead we're talking
00:14:11.060 about like how men die on crab boats and they have to pay child support when like, arguably that is not
00:14:18.980 the biggest issue that we have in our, in our country. So you think that we talk too much about
00:14:24.180 men dying at work? No, that's not what I said. I think that's an, no, I think that's an oversimplification
00:14:31.380 of my statement. Okay.