Pearl - Feminist Tells Me Men Don't Take Action ｜ The Sitdown

00:00:00.000 yeah if you look at the industries that strike and complain it tends to be female dominated 0.93

00:00:06.080 industries because women are better at complaining no they want to do less of the work and they want 1.00

00:00:10.800 more of the credit we care about how we're treated as men should care how they're treated and they do

00:00:15.360 care they just internalize it just because they don't take action doesn't mean that they don't

00:00:20.160 care what is your definition of feminism so my definition of feminism is probably the broad 1.00

00:00:27.360 overarching definition which would be wanting equal opportunity and representation for women and

00:00:34.000 you know feminine presenting people i think that we should be equally represented in political and

00:00:39.920 other kinds of positions of power i think that we should be advocated for in our unique life

00:00:44.960 circumstances and the things that make us you know uniquely feminine and i think that we need to

00:00:51.200 ensure that women have all the opportunity that men are afforded okay so is your view today that

00:00:57.040 we're not being given the opportunity that we are like what what is your view on feminism

00:01:02.480 historically and like where is it needed today yeah so i think where this conversation especially

00:01:09.200 in sort of like conservative spheres gets confusing um is that you tend to focus more on like legal

00:01:17.200 barriers that there's no laws that are preventing women from obtaining certain opportunities applying 1.00

00:01:22.400 for certain jobs going to schools things like that where the more nuanced and modern view is there are

00:01:27.840 no longer any legal barriers but there are still plenty of societal barriers there's a lot of discrimination

00:01:33.920 things like um not having um like maternity leave the caregiving gap things like that that

00:01:41.280 disproportionately inhibit women from being able to go after certain opportunities because of the

00:01:47.360 responsibilities that heavily you know rely on us instead of having a lot of that labor and unpaid

00:01:53.920 domestic labor seen respected and divided okay so how does that translate in 2024 like how would that

00:02:00.880 have affected me for example well i can't speak to you and your life experience but i can speak to mine

00:02:08.080 so as a woman in medicine um that is a very long journey i had to i got my bachelor's degree my master's

00:02:14.240 degree my doctorate and now i have my well yeah but just like a guy yeah yeah well but i'll explain to

00:02:20.240 you how it has affected me so and i'm currently in residency which is my post-doctoral training and so

00:02:27.840 a lot of this has i've needed to dedicate 80 plus hours a week to studying to working in order to be able to

00:02:35.760 have my dream job and so something like starting a family has needed to be delayed because the from a

00:02:44.080 biological perspective um i have to keep in mind that i do have a bit of a time clock but that the

00:02:52.480 academic um path that i've and kept like that i've been on has primarily been designed for men

00:02:58.960 and it had there's not the opportunities available to me to take pauses and to take maternity leave and

00:03:05.680 to do a lot of the things that women have to do in order to be able to go after the things that we want 1.00

00:03:12.080 and get everything we want out of life and so i and also there was a lot of times when i was in pre-med

00:03:18.400 where people would be like oh are you sure you want to do that like that's a very male dominated field

00:03:23.200 things like that and so there was constant doubt being pushed at me from a young age of like whether

00:03:28.240 or not i should do this whether or not i could do this and none of my male peers ever encountered that

00:03:34.160 and the same thing with like people would ask me about um oh but like what about starting a family like

00:03:39.360 oh why are you choosing your career over family and none of my male peers ever had that question

00:03:45.280 and so from a societal perspective it's really just the assumption that women can't have both career 1.00

00:03:51.040 and family and it's not true but a lot of those barriers are because we don't allow our system to

00:03:57.600 accommodate for those needs and the differences that men and women have when it comes to enduring

00:04:02.640 pregnancy childbearing child care things like that so you started with academic how are there

00:04:09.120 barriers in the academic field when the majority of scholarships in stem go to women yeah and there's 1.00

00:04:14.960 entire like there's women for stuff like there's entire um parts of organizations that are pushing 1.00

00:04:21.120 women to go into stem and it's really not the same for men right and so i think again this goes towards 0.53

00:04:26.720 like you have this idea of more strict legal or like actual barriers to access where i'm talking

00:04:35.040 in a more nuanced way of the timeline that women find themselves in people who are already mothers

00:04:40.560 people who want to become mothers a lot of it does come down to families and child rearing and the

00:04:46.480 responsibilities that you have to balance both academically and with your family but even outside

00:04:51.360 of like the family dynamic just the um discrimination that women will experience when it comes to us 1.00

00:04:58.480 wanting to achieve these higher level degrees and these more rigorous academic and um like professional

00:05:05.840 settings a lot of people will automatically have doubt that we're capable of doing it and that comes

00:05:10.800 from like a society who are the people like who was saying this to you was it like how often did this happen

00:05:16.480 it happened a lot especially in undergrad when i was pre-med um i wasn't was it from your

00:05:21.040 family was it once a week like i'm trying to understand the frequency of this discrimination

00:05:25.920 yeah so um not my immediate family my immediate family has always been my my biggest cheerleaders

00:05:31.120 okay um but definitely extended family um people i was in a sorority in texas so definitely people

00:05:36.800 who i encountered um in undergrad a lot of my professors and advisors like they'd be like oh you know

00:05:42.160 this is a really rigorous uh path to go down like are you sure that you want to and then i would speak to

00:05:48.400 a lot of my male peers who were like in pre-med the same track as me and i'd ask like has anyone

00:05:53.440 ever told you like you couldn't do this or that you should think about something else and they would

00:05:57.280 all say no do you think it's because women quit more because i mean the data shows that women quit

00:06:02.560 careers in stem quicker than men right and that goes back to what i was talking about right because

00:06:07.840 you have to look at the reasons that they're quitting and a lot of times it's because of things like

00:06:12.960 discrimination against them which creates a hostile work environment and a hostile academic

00:06:17.600 environment or they're not able to balance like what is the discrimination it just sounds like

00:06:22.800 it's words you don't like like people say words that they don't like to men all the time yeah well

00:06:28.480 i mean i'm here right i'm a doctor now so it didn't bother me but it's i think it's pretty disingenuous

00:06:35.120 to believe that those words don't have an impact because words do matter and when undergrad is four

00:06:41.440 years plus my masters was one year my doctorate was four years and so that's nine years of my life

00:06:47.600 that i've had to endure people constantly bringing doubt to my ability to accomplish this goal and i did

00:06:54.160 it anyways and i'm extremely proud of that but i also let me finish i also don't fault a lot of women 1.00

00:07:00.480 for giving into that pressure and having those years and years of people pushing that doubt onto them

00:07:06.800 of course it's going to seep into a lot of them and they're going to

00:07:10.000 have that self-doubt because of all of the external doubt that's fed their way yeah but i

00:07:14.000 think the world doesn't care and men understand when they go into the world that the world does 0.98

00:07:18.560 not care about their problems and how they feel and the problem is women go into a man's world and 1.00

00:07:23.600 think that the world should care about how they feel and their problems see and i think of it as

00:07:28.160 the opposite way i don't think that it's good that men's feelings aren't cared about i think that

00:07:33.200 we should care about everyone's feelings i think that we should realize that our words matter and the

00:07:37.920 way that our words impact people matter and it shouldn't go to like oh well men don't care so we

00:07:43.120 should just say whatever we want and you shouldn't care i think it's the opposite i think that we

00:07:46.800 need to be more compassionate and we need to understand the way that we impact people and that's

00:07:50.560 totally great if we have a wish list but this is the real world and not the way that we want the

00:07:55.600 world to be and the problem is women go into a man's world and they have no idea how harsh it is 1.00

00:08:00.720 and how mean they are to each other and if you look at if you've ever been in a male-only

00:08:04.880 dominated environment like um where it's pretty much all men there's only one or two women you 0.96

00:08:09.040 know they're harsher than women are they're more direct they speak in a different way and the 1.00

00:08:13.040 problem is women go into these spaces and they think that men should talk like women talk and they 0.97

00:08:17.600 don't right well again i i'm a dreamer right i i think but it's not realistic is the point and i disagree

00:08:24.960 i think it's completely realistic to take people's feelings into account it's called empathy i think that

00:08:30.160 we need to promote empathy i don't think that we should promote such a callous harsh world i think

00:08:35.520 that we all need to be more kind and compassionate to each other and i also think that the mental

00:08:39.760 health outcomes of men proves that that's not a good way to endure the world right but good is not 1.00

00:08:46.320 a like hope is not a strategy the way that we want the world to be isn't how it is so it's really nice

00:08:52.720 and dandy to say the world should be this way but it isn't and men have an understanding of how the

00:08:57.280 world is and they don't complain so the thing is you keep talking about they complain all the time

00:09:02.640 so i'll give you an example so you you're talking about all this stuff that you endured in your

00:09:07.440 career and that's fine you know i think it's really great that you're a doctor um like it's very

00:09:11.440 impressive that's hard to do right yeah yeah yeah so like i'll give you props um however you know when

00:09:19.520 i have a cousin that works on a crab fishing boat in alaska where a guy dies every single week

00:09:26.080 so that we can get crabs like literally one person dies a week on that crab fishing boat in alaska

00:09:31.760 i don't have a lot of empathy for people that say these words hurt my feelings and therefore i'm

00:09:36.400 oppressed they don't complain they don't um cry about work conditions they just do their job

00:09:43.440 and it's a male dominated field women are not doing those jobs yeah so that's called the fallacy 1.00

00:09:48.800 of relative pervasion so saying that somebody else has it worse off means that we shouldn't be able

00:09:54.240 to talk about smaller problems like that's a fallacy both things can be problems and both

00:09:59.520 deserve to be talked about i don't think that it's right that one person dies a week on crab fishing

00:10:04.160 boats i don't eat crab i don't think it's necessary and i'm not saying that we shouldn't fish for crab

00:10:09.040 like whatever but the we shouldn't say oh people die all the time in this career and just because your

00:10:14.800 feelings are hurt i don't have to care like that's that's not an appropriate well i think what i'm

00:10:20.000 getting at is how spoiled it makes people that complain about those things seem when there are

00:10:26.800 men dying to do jobs to give us crab and put different food on the table or even um the number

00:10:33.120 one workplace fatality for men in the midwest is logging so you know when they're when you're sitting

00:10:38.800 on a chair that's made of wood that a guy died to get here it makes you look pretty spoiled when we're

00:10:44.880 saying oh but people said mean words to me in my career and it's not just you like i think it's

00:10:51.200 just overall females careers we're not really dying to put food on the table we're not dying to build the 1.00

00:10:56.640 buildings we're not dying to do any of these things and so i don't think we really have a right to

00:11:02.960 complain that it's we're so oppressed when men are doing most of the hard jobs in society yeah i mean

00:11:08.640 you're allowed to have that opinion it's the wrong opinion but you're allowed to have it um i don't

00:11:13.840 think that anybody should die at their job i think that if we really want to talk about the way that men

00:11:19.120 enter into these dangerous career paths and the way that their lives are just seen as fodder like they

00:11:25.280 are just you know seen as expendable and i think that's wrong i think that there is space for both

00:11:30.160 conversations there's a space to say that men don't deserve to be harmed in their workplace the same

00:11:35.440 way that women don't deserve to be harmed in their work but men understand that that's the only way

00:11:39.920 things get done i don't believe i don't agree with that well you cannot agree but how else has it ever

00:11:44.880 been done you have always men have men have always died to protect and build civilizations yeah and

00:11:51.760 civilization is supposed to progress civilization is supposed to improve on itself if we stay stagnant

00:11:57.520 then we're doing it wrong if we're looking at these careers and saying hey people are dying we

00:12:02.080 should look at why they're dying and we should address it and we should fix it we shouldn't just

00:12:06.320 accept it yeah and i think that's a very female way of looking at things because you've never been

00:12:10.720 in that position where you have to pragmatically solve those types of problems the same like the

00:12:16.400 same way i'm not going to know how to stop the men dying on fishing boats you're not going to know

00:12:20.240 either right that's not my job right there are people who have jobs easy to say oh this shouldn't happen

00:12:26.320 the same way we could say like we shouldn't have anyone die in war but we want to be safe

00:12:30.800 do you not think that there are people whose job is dedicated to improving worker safety like those

00:12:37.600 jobs exist it's not my job it's not your job but those jobs exist and you should argue that they

00:12:42.880 need to have more responsibility they need to be doing their job better like workers unions safety

00:12:49.440 commissions like there are actual jobs and committees and boards dedicated to worker safety and if they're

00:12:55.520 not doing their jobs appropriately then that's a totally separate conversation yeah and again this is

00:12:59.760 all stuff that sounds nice but it's just not very pragmatic again men have always died to protect

00:13:06.800 and build civilization the difference is in the past they used to get thank you and an appreciation

00:13:12.880 and now they don't because feminism has convinced women that our jobs are equally as important to men's 0.98

00:13:18.480 and they're not yeah and society is the only reason society exists is because it is built on the backs of

00:13:25.280 the unpaid and unrecognized labor of women sure men have died in war men have died in dangerous jobs

00:13:31.280 and i would argue that if women were in charge we would have less war and we would have less death 1.00

00:13:35.520 but that's not true women have waged more war in the last five or 500 years when they were rulers 1.00

00:13:40.560 yeah and you also have to look at who they had as their representatives and for their council because

00:13:46.720 this has been like highly studied that it wasn't necessarily their individual choice a lot of it was like

00:13:52.080 pressure right whenever women make a bad decision women have the privilege of blaming it on someone 1.00

00:13:57.040 else where men have to take the fall that's an interesting perspective i disagree so going back to

00:14:03.680 do you agree that men do most of the most difficult and needed jobs in society no okay how would

00:14:12.320 society keep running without men doing the infrastructure jobs like logging fishing trucking 0.93

00:14:18.480 oh do you mean like in the world wars when men left and women took over those positions and we ran

00:14:24.320 the entire country and took over the jobs that you say that we couldn't no they didn't take over

00:14:28.400 the majority of the jobs we did they did they took over factory positions we took we took over the

00:14:34.480 positions that men were not they were not doing the electrical they were not doing the plumbing they

00:14:39.360 were not building the buildings they were not there are women electricians there are women plumbers like 1.00

00:14:43.840 there are females in all of these positions there are is it the majority no because it's not the 0.97

00:14:50.320 majority because you have to take into the historical perspective what is stopping a woman today from

00:14:56.560 being a plumber and electrician as i said discrimination why there's hostile workplaces because they are made

00:15:03.520 to feel as if they don't belong in those spaces and why would you want to exist in a space where you're

00:15:07.840 constantly you're constantly made to feel like you shouldn't be there by the men in those positions so men

00:15:13.520 will make women feel like they don't belong there and then complain that women aren't there so 0.99

00:15:18.960 what's your evidence for that what's my evidence what's your evidence for that oh they've studied

00:15:24.080 it they've studied like workplace discrimination with women in electric and male dominated fields yeah 1.00

00:15:32.480 and they've said that the women feel like they're not wanted and that's why they're not doing not

00:15:37.520 just not wanted not welcome that's very convenient you know here's the thing men don't care if they're not 0.54

00:15:43.040 welcome they don't expect people to just accept them into a group like women do because again 0.99

00:15:49.200 men live in the real world women do not we live in this play pretend world where we're given more 0.87

00:15:54.720 credit for what we actually do than we do so i've seen you speak many times about the the detrimental

00:16:03.280 effects that all of these things have on men's mental health and that they have a higher rate of

00:16:07.040 suicide they have all these things and so i think that it's really interesting that you care a lot

00:16:12.560 seemingly about men's mental health but then at the same time you'll say oh men don't care if you're

00:16:18.000 mean to them men don't care if you're not they're not welcomed you say all of these things that have

00:16:23.120 an impact on men's mental health so i think to care about one you have to recognize how it impacts

00:16:28.240 the other what i'm saying is men understand that that's the real world and they know there's nothing

00:16:33.200 they can do to change that women go into women women go into a man's world and they expect to be 0.99

00:16:39.760 given special treatment and privileges they expect to be the new guy in a company and feel welcome

00:16:45.920 i mean it's not abnormal for men to haze somebody in a new group you might say that's wrong but it's

00:16:52.240 not abnormal and they don't complain they don't strike they don't protest they just accept it and they

00:16:58.400 accept the world as it is instead of doing a wish list that will never become true i mean do they

00:17:05.760 really accept it and are they really okay with it when the statistics behind men's mental health

00:17:11.040 proves that it does impact them they just internalize it women make sure that we we prioritize empathy 0.96

00:17:17.360 and communication so when we feel like we're not being welcomed when we feel like we're being wronged

00:17:22.320 we want to improve the communication to improve the circumstance we're better at complaining

00:17:26.080 i would say we're better at communicating that's that's we're better at complaining about the

00:17:32.000 stuff we don't like where men don't complain that's what i said right they don't complain because 0.98

00:17:36.160 they internalize it and then instead they just unalive themselves that's not they don't complain

00:17:40.800 because the world doesn't give them sympathy pretty women women young women get a ton of sympathy

00:17:47.280 on the internet complaining about their problems it's why they're given 10 times the funding for

00:17:52.480 breast cancer researches instead of prostate cancer it's because people care about women's issues 0.73

00:17:58.000 people do not care about men's issues i disagree why why do i disagree you could say you disagree

00:18:04.480 but that's not an argument i mean your arguments are just like oh that's silly and i live in reality

00:18:08.880 like you're not giving me any realistic like responses either well i'm i'm giving you realistic

00:18:13.280 responses i said men do the majority of infrastructure jobs they're the majority of workplace deaths

00:18:18.480 and so based on those two stats they have a harder work environment and they complain less yeah if you

00:18:23.920 look at the industries that strike and complain it tends to be female dominated industries because 0.99

00:18:30.240 women are better at complaining no they want to do less of the work and they want more of the credit we 1.00

00:18:35.280 care about how we're treated as men should care how they're treated and they do care they just

00:18:39.360 internalize it just because they don't take action doesn't mean that they don't care well thank you

00:18:44.480 very much for coming on this was fun um you want to tell them your socials and they can your social

00:18:50.160 media where they can find you god yeah so you can find me primarily on tick tock um i'm dr bronte

00:18:56.000 b-r-o-n-t-e like the bronte sisters um and then on instagram i'm at be kind and curious cool and you're

00:19:03.840 welcome to use any of the clips shorts whatever for your social media guys who do you think is right

00:19:09.600 feel free put whatever either or her her stuff my stuff like the video on your way out and subscribe

00:19:16.480 to the channel thank you guys so much for watching and i will talk to you guys next time bye

Pearl - February 03, 2025

Feminist Tells Me Men Don't Take Action ｜ The Sitdown

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