Pearl - Feminists Don’t Need Men Anymore (Full Interview)

00:00:00.000 what up guys welcome to another episode of the sit down i am your host pearl and today i have a

00:00:06.080 special guest bronte remzik welcome to the show family medical resident right yes and tick tock

00:00:14.960 sensation you have over half a million followers on tick tock um and i would say your content is

00:00:20.560 pro-feminist right yeah i would agree and anything i missed no not necessarily that's pretty much

00:00:26.160 sums it up welcome to the show um first off i want to say thank you so much for coming you came all

00:00:31.440 the way out to our chicago studio and i always appreciate sitting down with people that disagree

00:00:37.840 and so i think it's great that we can do this yeah i agree i've come across your videos quite

00:00:42.800 a few times and i've had a lot of my audience ask me like oh have you ever thought about talking to

00:00:47.360 pearl and then you reached out to me so i was like perfect so i'm happy to be here so i think me and

00:00:52.880 you maybe have different views on feminism so why don't we start with what your general i really

00:00:59.600 just want to understand your general world view so what is your definition of feminism so my definition

00:01:06.880 of feminism is probably the broad overarching definition which would be wanting equal opportunity

00:01:13.360 and representation for women and you know feminine presenting people i think that we should be equally

00:01:19.200 represented in political and other kinds of positions of power i think that we should be

00:01:24.480 advocated for in our unique life circumstances and the things that make us you know uniquely feminine

00:01:31.120 and i think that we need to ensure that women have all the opportunity that men are afforded

00:01:37.440 so is your view today that we're not being given the opportunity that we are like what what is your view

00:01:43.760 on feminism historically and like where is it needed today yeah so i think where this conversation

00:01:50.640 especially in sort of like conservative spheres yeah gets confusing um is that you tend to focus more

00:01:58.400 on like legal barriers that there's no laws that are preventing women from obtaining certain opportunities

00:02:04.240 applying for certain jobs going to schools things like that where the more nuanced and modern view is

00:02:09.520 there are no longer any legal barriers but there are still plenty of societal barriers there's a lot

00:02:14.720 of discrimination things like um not having um like maternity leave the caregiving gap things like that

00:02:22.400 that disproportionately inhibit women from being able to go after certain opportunities because of the

00:02:29.440 responsibilities that heavily you know rely on us instead of having a lot of that labor and unpaid

00:02:36.000 domestic labor seen respected and divided okay so how does that translate in 2024 like how would that

00:02:42.960 have affected me for example well i can't speak to you and your life experience but i can speak to mine

00:02:49.920 um so as a woman in medicine um that is a very long journey i had to i got my bachelor's degree my

00:02:56.000 master's degree my doctorate and now i have my well yeah but just like a guy yeah yeah well but i'll

00:03:01.840 explain to you how it has affected me so and i'm currently in residency which is my post-doctoral

00:03:08.080 training and so a lot of this has i've needed to dedicate 80 plus hours a week to studying to working

00:03:16.400 in order to be able to have my dream job and so something like starting a family has needed to be

00:03:22.800 delayed because the from a biological perspective um i have to keep in mind that i do have a bit of a

00:03:32.320 time clock but that the academic um path that i've and kept like that i've been on has primarily been

00:03:39.920 designed for men and it had there's not the opportunities available to me to take pauses and to

00:03:46.640 take maternity leave and to do a lot of the things that women have to do in order to be able to go

00:03:53.120 after the things that we want and get everything we want out of life and so i and also there was a

00:03:58.240 lot of times when i was in pre-med where people would be like oh are you sure you want to do that

00:04:03.200 like that's a very male-dominated field things like that and so there was constant doubt being pushed

00:04:08.640 at me from a young age of like whether or not i should do this whether or not i could do this

00:04:12.800 and none of my male peers ever encountered that and the same thing with like people would ask me

00:04:18.560 about um oh but like what about starting a family like oh why are you choosing your career over family

00:04:24.480 and none of my male peers ever had that question and so from a societal perspective it's really just

00:04:29.600 the assumption that women can't have both career and family and it's not true but a lot of those

00:04:36.720 barriers are because we don't allow our system to accommodate for those needs and the differences that

00:04:42.560 men and women have when it comes to enduring pregnancy childbearing child care things like

00:04:47.840 that so you started with academic how are there barriers in the academic field when the majority

00:04:53.680 of scholarships in stem go to women yes and there's entire like there's women forced like there's entire

00:05:00.720 um parts of organizations that are pushing women to go into stem and it's really not the same for men

00:05:06.400 right and so i think again this goes towards like you have this idea of more strict legal or like

00:05:14.240 actual barriers to access where i'm talking in a more nuanced way of the timeline that women find

00:05:20.640 themselves in people who are already mothers people who want to become mothers a lot of it does come down

00:05:25.280 to families and child rearing and the responsibilities that you have to balance both academically and with

00:05:31.520 your family but even outside of like the family dynamic just the um discrimination that women will

00:05:38.880 experience when it comes to us wanting to achieve these higher level degrees and these more rigorous

00:05:45.280 academic and um like professional settings a lot of people will automatically have doubt that

00:05:51.040 we're capable of doing it and that comes from like a society who are the people like who was saying

00:05:55.920 this to you was it like how often did this happen it happened a lot especially in undergrad when i

00:06:00.640 was pre-med um i wasn't like was it from your family was it once a week like i'm trying to

00:06:05.280 understand the frequency of this discrimination yeah so um not my immediate family my immediate

00:06:10.320 family has always been my my biggest cheerleaders okay um but definitely extended family um people i

00:06:16.320 was in a sorority in texas so definitely people who i encountered um in undergrad a lot of my professors

00:06:22.400 and advisors like they'd be like oh you know this is a really rigorous uh path to go down like are you

00:06:27.680 sure that you want to and then i would speak to a lot of my male peers who were like in pre-med the

00:06:33.360 same track as me and i'd ask like has anyone ever told you like you couldn't do this or that you

00:06:37.680 should think about something else and they would all say no do you think it's because women quit more

00:06:41.760 because i mean the data shows that women quit careers in stem quicker than men right and that goes

00:06:47.680 back to what i was talking about right because you have to look at the reasons that they're quitting

00:06:52.320 and a lot of times it's because of things like discrimination against them which creates a

00:06:57.360 hostile work environment and a hostile academic environment or they're not able to balance like

00:07:02.560 what is the discrimination it just sounds like it's words you don't like like people say words

00:07:07.840 that they don't like to men all the time yeah well i mean i'm here right i'm a doctor now so it didn't

00:07:13.280 bother me but it's i think it's pretty disingenuous to believe that those words don't have an impact

00:07:20.000 because words do matter and when undergrad is four years plus my master's was one year my doctor it

00:07:26.640 was four years and so that's nine years of my life that i've had to endure people constantly bringing

00:07:32.800 doubt to my ability to accomplish this goal and i did it anyways and i'm extremely proud of that but

00:07:38.480 i also let me finish i also don't fault a lot of women for giving into that pressure and having those

00:07:45.600 years and years of people pushing that doubt onto them of course it's going to seep into a lot of

00:07:50.800 them and they're going to have that self-doubt because of all of the external doubt that's fed

00:07:55.280 their way yeah but i think the world doesn't care and men understand when they go into the world that

00:08:00.000 the world does not care about their problems and how they feel and the problem is women go into a man's

00:08:05.280 world and think that the world should care about how they feel and their problems see and i think of it

00:08:10.160 as the opposite way i don't think that it's good that men's feelings aren't cared about i think that

00:08:15.280 we should care about everyone's feelings i think that we should realize that our words matter and

00:08:19.920 the way that our words impact people matter and it shouldn't go to like oh well men don't care so we

00:08:25.280 should just say whatever we want and you shouldn't care i think it's the opposite i think that we need

00:08:29.120 to be more compassionate and we need to understand the way that we impact people and that's totally great

00:08:33.520 if we have a wish list but this is the real world and not the way that we want the world to be and the

00:08:38.560 problem is women go into a man's world and they have no idea how harsh it is and how mean they

00:08:43.600 are to each other and if you look at if you've ever been in a male-only dominated environment like

00:08:48.880 where it's pretty much all men there's only one or two women you know they're harsher than women are

00:08:52.480 they're more direct they speak in a different way and the problem is women go into these spaces and they

00:08:57.600 think that men should talk like women talk and they don't right well again i i'm a dreamer right i i

00:09:03.600 think that when it's not realistic is the point and i disagree i think it's completely realistic

00:09:08.560 to take people's feelings into account it's called empathy i think that we need to promote empathy

00:09:13.680 i don't think that we should promote such a callous harsh world i think that we all need to be more

00:09:18.800 kind and compassionate to each other and i also think that the mental health outcomes of men proves

00:09:23.680 that that's not a good way to endure the world right but good is not a str like hope is not a strategy

00:09:31.520 the way that we want the world to be isn't how it is so it's really nice and dandy to say the world

00:09:36.000 should be this way but it isn't and men have an understanding of how the world is and they don't

00:09:40.320 complain so the thing is you keep talking about they complain all the time so i'll give you an

00:09:45.600 example so you you're talking about all this stuff that you endured in your career and that's fine you

00:09:50.560 know i think it's really great that you're a doctor um like it's very impressive that's hard to do

00:09:55.360 right yeah yeah yeah so like i'll give you props um however you know when i have a cousin that works

00:10:03.440 on a crab fishing boat in alaska where a guy dies every single week so that we can get crabs like

00:10:09.760 literally one person dies a week on that crab fishing boat in alaska i don't have a lot of empathy

00:10:15.360 for people that say these words hurt my feelings and therefore i'm oppressed they don't complain they

00:10:21.040 don't um cry about work conditions they just do their job and it's a male dominated field women are

00:10:27.840 not doing those jobs yeah so that's called the fallacy of relative pervasion so saying that

00:10:33.200 somebody else has it worse off means that we shouldn't be able to talk about smaller problems

00:10:37.920 like that's a fallacy both things can be problems and both deserve to be talked about i don't think

00:10:43.600 that it's right that one person dies a week on crab fishing boats i don't eat crab i don't think it's

00:10:48.080 necessary and i am not saying that we shouldn't fish for crab like whatever but the we shouldn't

00:10:53.440 say oh people die all the time in this career and just because your feelings are hurt i don't have to

00:10:58.400 care like that's that's not an appropriate well i think what i'm getting at is how spoiled it makes

00:11:05.840 people that complain about those things seem when there are men dying to do jobs to give us crab and

00:11:12.160 put different food on the table or even um the number one workplace fatality for men in the midwest

00:11:18.320 is logging so you know when they're when you're sitting on a chair that's made of wood that a guy

00:11:22.640 died to get here it makes you look pretty spoiled when we're saying oh but people said mean words to

00:11:29.760 me in my career and it's not just you like i think it's just overall females careers we're not really

00:11:35.840 dying to put food on the table we're not dying to build the buildings we're not dying to do any of these

00:11:41.440 things and so i don't think we really have a right to complain that it's we are so oppressed when men

00:11:47.520 are doing most of the hard jobs in society yeah i mean you're allowed to have that opinion it's the

00:11:52.640 wrong opinion but you're allowed to have it um i don't think that anybody should die at their job i

00:11:58.160 think that if we really want to talk about the way that men enter into these dangerous career paths

00:12:03.200 and the way that their lives are just seen as fodder like they are just you know seen as expendable

00:12:09.520 and i think that's wrong i think that there is space for both conversations there's a space to

00:12:14.000 say that men don't deserve to be harmed in their workplace the same way that women don't deserve

00:12:18.880 to be harmed in their work but men understand that that's the only way things get done i don't believe

00:12:23.520 i don't agree with that well you cannot agree but how else has it ever been done you have always men have

00:12:29.600 men have always died to protect and build civilizations yeah and civilization is supposed to progress

00:12:36.240 civilization is supposed to improve on itself if we stay stagnant then we're doing it wrong

00:12:40.880 if we're looking at these careers and saying hey people are dying we should look at why they're dying

00:12:45.600 and we should address it and we should fix it we shouldn't just accept it yeah and i think that's a

00:12:49.920 very female way of looking at things because you've never been in that position where you have to

00:12:54.320 pragmatically solve those types of problems the same like the same way i'm not going to know how to stop

00:13:00.160 the men dying on fishing boats you're not going to know either right that's not my job right there

00:13:04.560 there are people who have jobs easy to say oh this shouldn't happen the same way we could say like we

00:13:09.760 shouldn't have anyone die in war but we want to be safe do you not think that there are people whose

00:13:15.360 job is dedicated to improving worker safety like those jobs exist it's not my job it's not your job but

00:13:21.920 those jobs exist and you should argue that they need to have more responsibility they need to be doing

00:13:27.760 their job better like workers unions safety commissions like there are actual jobs and

00:13:34.240 committees and boards dedicated to worker safety and if they're not doing their jobs appropriately

00:13:38.960 then that's a totally separate conversation yeah and again this is all stuff that sounds nice but it's

00:13:43.760 just not very pragmatic again men have always died to protect and build civilization the difference is in

00:13:51.600 the past they used to get thank you and an appreciation and now they don't because feminism has

00:13:57.360 convinced women that our jobs are equally as important to men's and they're not yeah and

00:14:01.920 society is the only reason society exists is because it is built on the backs of the unpaid and

00:14:08.240 unrecognized labor of women sure men have died in war men have died in dangerous jobs and i would argue

00:14:14.400 that if women were in charge we would have less war and we would have less death but that's not true

00:14:18.400 women have waged more war in the last five 500 years when they were rulers yeah and you also have to

00:14:23.760 look at who they had as their representatives and for their council because this has been like highly

00:14:30.080 studied that it wasn't necessarily their individual choice a lot of it was like pressure right whenever

00:14:35.280 women make a bad decision women have the privilege of blaming it on someone else where men have to

00:14:40.080 take the fall that's an interesting perspective i disagree so going back to do you agree that men do

00:14:47.200 most of the most difficult and needed jobs in society no okay how would society keep running

00:14:55.760 without men doing the infrastructure jobs like logging fishing trucking oh do you mean like in the world

00:15:03.040 wars when men left and women took over those positions and we ran the entire country and took

00:15:07.760 over the jobs that you say that we couldn't no they didn't take over the majority of the jobs we did

00:15:12.720 they did they took over factory positions we took we took over the positions that they were not they

00:15:17.920 were not doing the electrical they were not doing the plumbing they were not building the buildings

00:15:22.720 they were not there are women electricians there are women plumbers like there are females in all of

00:15:28.400 these positions there are is it the majority no because it's not the majority because you have to take in

00:15:34.800 the historical perspective what is stopping a woman today from being a plumber and electrician as i said

00:15:41.120 discrimination why there's hostile workplaces because they are made to feel as if they don't

00:15:46.560 belong in those spaces and why would you want to exist in a space where you're constantly you're

00:15:51.440 constantly made to feel like you shouldn't be there by the men in those positions so men will make women

00:15:56.480 feel like they don't belong there and then complain that women aren't there so what's your evidence for

00:16:02.240 that what's my evidence yeah what's your evidence for that oh they've studied it they've studied

00:16:07.920 like workplace discrimination with women in electric and yeah in male dominated fields yeah

00:16:14.560 and they've said that the women feel like they're not wanted and that's why they're not doing not

00:16:19.680 just not wanted not welcome that's very convenient you know here's the thing men don't care if they're

00:16:24.960 not welcome they don't expect people to just accept them into a group like women do because again men

00:16:31.600 live in the real world women do not we live in this play pretend world where we're given more credit for

00:16:37.360 what we actually do than we do so i've seen you speak many times about the the detrimental effects

00:16:45.760 that all of these things have on men's mental health and that they have a higher rate of suicide

00:16:49.600 they have all these things and so i think that it's really interesting that you care a lot seemingly

00:16:55.680 about men's mental health but then at the same time you'll say oh men don't care if you're mean to

00:17:00.480 them men don't care if you're not they're not welcomed you say all of these things that have an impact

00:17:05.920 on men's mental health so i think to care about one you have to recognize how it impacts the other

00:17:10.960 what i'm saying is men understand that that's the real world and they know there's nothing they can

00:17:15.680 do to change that women go into women women go into a man's world and they expect to be given

00:17:22.400 special treatment and privileges they expect to be the new guy in a company and feel welcome

00:17:28.080 i mean it's not abnormal for men to haze somebody in a new group you might say that's wrong

00:17:34.000 but it's not abnormal and they don't complain they don't strike they don't protest they just

00:17:38.880 accept it and they accept the world as it is instead of doing a wish list that will never

00:17:46.000 become true i mean do they really accept it and are they really okay with it when the statistics

00:17:51.760 behind men's mental health proves that it does impact them they just internalize it women make sure

00:17:57.040 that we we prioritize empathy and communication so when we feel like we're not being welcomed when

00:18:02.800 we feel like we're being wronged we want to improve the communication we're better at complaining

00:18:08.960 i would say we're better at communication that's that's we're better at complaining about the stuff

00:18:14.400 we don't like where men don't complain that's what i said right they don't complain because they

00:18:18.480 internalize it and then instead they just unaligned themselves that's not they don't complain because

00:18:23.200 the world doesn't give them sympathy pretty women women young women get a ton of sympathy

00:18:29.360 on the internet complaining about their problems it's why they're given 10 times the funding for

00:18:34.560 breast cancer researches instead of prostate cancer it's because people care about women's issues

00:18:40.080 people do not care about men's issues i disagree why why do i disagree you could say you disagree but

00:18:46.800 that's not an argument i mean your arguments are just like oh that's silly and i live in reality

00:18:50.960 like you're not giving me any realistic like responses well i'm i'm giving you realistic

00:18:55.360 responses i said men do the majority of infrastructure jobs they're the majority of workplace deaths

00:19:00.640 and so based on those two stats they have a harder work environment and they complain less yeah if you

00:19:06.000 look at the industries that strike and complain it tends to be female dominated industries because

00:19:12.400 women are better at complaining no they want to do less of the work and they want more of the credit we

00:19:17.360 care about how we're treated as men should care how they're treated and they do care they just

00:19:21.520 internalize it just because they don't take action doesn't mean that they don't care so the next topic

00:19:27.600 i think we're going to go into is do you think society discriminates more against men or women or do you

00:19:33.520 think it's equal i think that they discriminate more against women but i don't that's not to say that

00:19:38.480 men aren't discriminated against um in some aspects okay how are women more discriminated against

00:19:43.840 um as i've said before um in my own personal experience and statistically other than other

00:19:49.040 than can we do something other than just people say mean words to me because men by the time they're

00:19:54.560 22 somebody said a mean word to them usually it's a woman so anything other than somebody said something

00:20:01.680 i don't like bands can you name a law that controls what men can do and access health care and the

00:20:09.680 health care that men can access is there any laws that control men's health care access well if you

00:20:14.720 want to talk about men's body men are required to go into selective service so if there is a war time

00:20:20.320 they are required to be drafted yeah and i think that the draft should be abolished so you asked for

00:20:24.880 a law there's a law there's a way that women's bodies aren't protected there's a way men's bodies

00:20:29.280 aren't protected no so it's actually my question was different my question was can you name a law

00:20:33.600 that restricts men's access to health care that restricts men's access to health care no not off

00:20:40.640 the top of my head so there you go that's one discriminatory women restricted ask access to

00:20:46.240 health care you can drive to another state and get in a yeah well then that's also not taking into

00:20:51.520 account like socioeconomic factors right because not every person has the ability or the funds or the time

00:20:58.000 to be able to just cross state lines to gain access we shouldn't have different health care

00:21:03.280 access in different states your your geographical location should not determine your access to a

00:21:08.400 human right okay well again luckily for women we have access to birth control abstinence and even you

00:21:17.760 can even track your cycle and not get pregnant so i think there's plenty of options beforehand that it

00:21:24.720 really isn't an excuse if you have an unplanned pregnancy so actually about 50 of unplanned pregnancies

00:21:31.520 used protection and so that's just well then you should learn to use it better and the other and

00:21:37.600 the other the other thing is after the kid's born you could argue that it's an equally irresponsible

00:21:42.960 move when men and women have unprotected sex or there's some problem with the birth control fine

00:21:49.600 equally irresponsible but after the woman has more control she has the right to get she's the only one

00:21:55.760 who gets to decide if she takes a plan b she's the only one that gets to decide to put them on

00:21:59.680 child support or alimony if they're married um men don't have a right to their wallets

00:22:07.120 after the kid is born yeah so pregnancy involves your body and your internal organs and that is worth

00:22:15.280 more than any money yeah but that's okay that's nine months a year what about the rest of the time what

00:22:21.360 about 18 years after right and so then there's like two years after that that you're breastfeeding and

00:22:27.200 then there's the unequal division of child care and domestic labor so it's so much more than nine

00:22:33.040 months but to but to go back we cannot minimize that nine months having your body be not your own

00:22:40.000 for nine months is nine months too long yeah but there are men dying when they go and do their jobs

00:22:46.320 and they're not complaining about it they can get a different job no because men understand that somebody

00:22:51.520 has to do it yeah they don't they they understand well that's why it's admirable that they do it

00:22:58.080 anyway and they don't complain and that's what i keep going back to is what feminists tend to want

00:23:04.240 is they want all of the credit and they want to over exaggerate their problems so i would actually like

00:23:09.680 to go back to the comparison you made of pregnancy and men going to work do you think those two things

00:23:16.160 are the same i think that a man going to a dangerous job is far worse than a woman being pregnant

00:23:23.520 and do you think that the majority of far far more dangerous i'll say that's more accurate better and

00:23:28.560 good is like it's subjective right yeah and as i've said before i think that we should have better safety

00:23:35.440 protocols and we should improve the safety of all workers so i think that that should be addressed but

00:23:40.240 also the majority should but it isn't right like are you arguing for it to be i here here's the

00:23:46.400 difference okay so feminists have a tendency to think that if we complain things will just happen

00:23:52.720 and i'm more realistic where i know that just because we say oh it should be better well it's not

00:23:59.040 so and men understand that because they have had to deal with that reality from a young age you recognize

00:24:06.400 that the only reason you have a microphone and you have a show is because feminists complained

00:24:11.520 because we wanted a voice that's not true it actually is there's writers there's writers there's

00:24:16.960 female writers in the 1800s and they had to write under male pseudonyms it's not true it is true

00:24:23.840 well you can say it's not true but it's it's history and it's statistics it is that's not true

00:24:29.120 it is we we used to have cleopatra we had women in power throughout all of history there are examples of

00:24:35.280 them when the first female property owner was in the 1600s in the united states when were women

00:24:40.960 allowed to have their own bank accounts women were allowed to have their own bank accounts in

00:24:47.360 19 what what does that have to do with writing you're changing the topic no no i'm not you're

00:24:51.760 changing the topic because i'm right they were allowed to write they were you're the one who brought

00:24:56.720 up female writers that wasn't okay go ahead go ahead so um sometime in the 1900s i can't remember

00:25:03.200 the year yeah it was like in the 1970s is when women were allowed to have bank accounts so when

00:25:08.720 we're talking about what's happened since what's happened since we got bank accounts we own 80 we

00:25:13.200 own 80 percent of the world's debt there's a reason people did things the way they did you don't think

00:25:17.920 that women should be able to have their own bank accounts i don't think they shouldn't have bank

00:25:22.160 accounts i think everyone should have the should have the right and they do but the re there's a reason

00:25:28.080 i think when we look at the past we have to look at the reason that people did things and one of the

00:25:34.240 reasons is women are very irresponsible with money they own 80 percent of the world's debt even though

00:25:39.680 they make less money than men so did you know that the majority of household finances are regulated and

00:25:46.960 controlled by women yeah i knew that we make 80 percent of consumer buying decisions yeah so that's what i

00:25:52.560 said they spend that's what i said they spend money they spend money they don't have we do have the

00:26:00.080 money not anymore i mean the average woman out of college has 30 000 worth how much debt do you have

00:26:06.960 you have to have six figures coming out i do have six figures of debt and that's and the student debt

00:26:11.280 yeah because the thing is in your profession i mean on average women leave the medical profession when they

00:26:18.400 have a kid or within five years so odds are you won't pay it off and it makes i'm not saying you

00:26:23.520 personally i hope you do right i'm not wishing it one way or another but statistically women make

00:26:28.880 their debt someone else's problem men do the same thing this no they don't so they looked at no they

00:26:33.920 looked at um women paying off their debt and men paying off their college debt and men have been

00:26:39.280 making payments towards it the last five years and women haven't so it's funny because you just

00:26:43.760 mentioned how women will leave their careers because they have to take care of children and

00:26:48.480 that probably plays a large role into why they're not able to pay back their student debt compared to

00:26:53.760 men who continue to be a part of the workforce even after they have children do you see how those two

00:26:58.640 things like might be correlated no because women aren't having kids anymore that would have been the

00:27:03.760 case maybe the case before but now they're not really having children we are still having children

00:27:07.920 uh on average on average it's like 1.5 now so i mean you have one kid you can put it in daycare you

00:27:17.200 can still work you can put it in daycare sorry his or her yeah see and this is the problem is like when

00:27:23.200 we see people as commodities instead of actual people like that's where we run into this thing of

00:27:28.480 like i don't care how you feel you make stupid decisions instead of taking a nuanced perspective in

00:27:34.160 the complexity of the human experience and recognizing that there are so many things that

00:27:38.880 contribute into these cherry-picked statistics well you think that the world owes you understanding

00:27:43.680 and it doesn't i think that it does i think that we owe everybody understanding i think that in order

00:27:49.280 for me so you know what i think that this is something we need to clarify yeah go ahead i partake

00:27:54.720 in these conversations because i want a better world i develop my opinions based on how i think

00:28:02.320 or based on what i think is going to improve the human condition and improve people's um equality

00:28:08.960 of life why do you take part in these conversations i like to report on what's going on okay so you have

00:28:14.960 no desire to improve the world and to be like an advocate for change and progression it would be nice

00:28:21.520 but i don't expect it see and for me one of my favorite quotes is the people who are crazy enough

00:28:27.360 to think they can change the world are the ones who do and you can call me a dreamer they're the ones who

00:28:31.680 do not i mean historically you're wrong i don't think so martin luther king had a dream didn't he

00:28:38.720 okay but how many guys tried to be martin luther king and failed i'm not i'm not saying that's a

00:28:45.040 societal issue because we resist progression and you're one of the people who is allowing society

00:28:49.760 to resist progression instead of allowing progression to happen how am i allowing society to

00:28:55.120 what does that even mean yeah so you okay no god god it's fine yeah because you say i see the reality

00:29:02.720 right now and i report on the reality right now and when i say yeah we should recognize what's happening

00:29:08.320 now and improve on it you're you say oh men are dying in the workplace and i'm like okay let's address

00:29:14.160 that let's see why they're doing that let's see how we can improve on that and then you're like yeah

00:29:18.480 that's not realistic i live in reality where you see how i am advocating for progression i'm

00:29:23.920 advocating for improvement where you're just like yeah you know what that's not the world we live in

00:29:28.480 and i don't have any idea or any desire to improve on the shitty statistics that i constantly report on

00:29:35.920 yeah so i think that sounds nice but again it doesn't change the reality of the situation so you

00:29:42.160 saying something on a podcast doesn't change the amount of men that die every year in a crab fishing

00:29:47.920 boat but what i like to do is be as accurate as i possibly can and that is why i say that women do

00:29:54.560 not do as useful or as needed jobs in society as men do if men's jobs disappeared tomorrow society would

00:30:02.000 crumble if women's jobs disappeared tomorrow society would be fine oh really who's going to raise all

00:30:07.920 the children women aren't even raising their own kids they're in daycare that's actually they're in

00:30:13.200 daycare in public school that's no it's a billion dollar industry it is a billion dollar industry

00:30:18.080 but statistically women have the like the majority of child care burden and not a lot of people can

00:30:24.480 afford daycare nowadays well who is the kid spending the most time with if the mom's at work

00:30:29.680 most well most mothers work nowadays so the kid is spending more time at school or at daycare yeah

00:30:35.440 because usually school gets out school gets out at like 2 30. it's not the norm people don't really

00:30:40.960 have extended family school gets out at 2 30 or 3. they go to daycare for two or three hours what

00:30:46.400 about before school what about before daycare because a lot of times especially in that first

00:30:50.720 minutes in the morning no no like the first two years of life at least a lot of people aren't sending

00:30:56.240 newborns and like it's not uncommon no my sister works my sister works at a daycare it's they get newborns

00:31:03.600 like yeah within the first couple right months all the time we're talking about like populations right

00:31:08.880 we're talking about like statistics and the majority of people are not sending their average age do you

00:31:14.400 care if i look i'm just curious what is the average age kids go in daycare no that's i actually don't

00:31:19.680 know the answer to that question that wouldn't be the question that i would ask but i'm curious what

00:31:23.120 that answer is okay i'm just curious we recommend kids start daycare as early as six weeks old

00:31:29.600 doesn't give me an average just says kids can start daycare as early as six weeks that's all i got

00:31:35.840 yeah well i mean again that because that wouldn't be the question that i would google like it would be

00:31:41.360 because right we're talking about breastfeeding we're talking about like bonding a lot of these

00:31:47.360 things like especially in the first two to six months of life at least like women bear the majority of

00:31:54.800 that labor sure but i say so what i could say that men bear the majority of labor of running society

00:32:03.280 for a lifetime on average on average women have one to two kids so okay you you could say that's four

00:32:10.800 years men work 50 50 in a difficult job that gives us the food that we have the chairs we're sitting on

00:32:18.320 and the microphone we're talking in and who set that system up you should say thank you men did

00:32:23.920 thank god for them no you you seem to have a problem with the amount that men work and

00:32:27.920 the responsibility that men bear and so i don't have i don't have a problem with it i'm acknowledging

00:32:32.720 what it is and i women should be thankful to men for doing it instead of complaining that they're not

00:32:38.880 doing enough to make women's lives comfortable we live in one of the most privileged times to be a

00:32:43.120 woman ever i mean you have even even the fact that you're saying um the biggest problem is that they

00:32:49.120 have to raise their kids in the early years you know how privileged that is i mean you have the

00:32:53.360 option to put them in daycare you have the option to delay motherhood they made ivf for us they gave

00:32:58.240 you birth like we have so many choices now and we're still gonna say they're not doing enough that's

00:33:04.000 bullshit do you know how much work it takes to raise children i'm one of ten yeah so usually so

00:33:11.200 you should be one of ten okay so here's my next question um are your parents still married yeah

00:33:16.800 and wasn't your mom like um a feminist on the un who fought for women's rights at a global level

00:33:23.840 me and my mom don't agree on everything what's your point yeah that she had nine children and she's

00:33:28.320 happily married as a feminist so it seems like you should be fully aware and she's not a feminist

00:33:33.200 she took me to sarah palin rallies when i was a kid okay i went to like pro-life rallies when i was 12.

00:33:38.960 yeah i mean they're coming out of nowhere right but she also did advocate on a global level for like

00:33:44.560 women's opportunities so it seems like you should be fully here's the thing the the internet only has

00:33:49.600 half of that story and i i can't yeah i can't tell the full one just because it's not my place so i

00:33:56.160 can't really use that as an i'm telling you you're wrong though that's not if you had the full story

00:34:00.960 i just can't talk about it here yeah you say that a lot when people bring up your family which is fine

00:34:05.760 um but my main point is that you are not ignorant to these ideas you are not ignorant to these arguments

00:34:12.880 like you on a global and personal level like are aware of them so to say who cares like your mom cares

00:34:21.760 you know to say who cares a lot of us care and i think that it takes a lot of strength to care

00:34:27.840 and i think that it actually to say oh i don't care stop complaining that's the easy way out i don't

00:34:34.000 want to take the easy way out i think that being passionate about empathy is really like the strength

00:34:39.520 it takes strength to be sensitive it takes strength to be vulnerable and transparent i think

00:34:44.640 that it's really easy and it's the easy way out to just be callous and to say we can't make change

00:34:49.600 and i don't care about your feelings okay well again you could you can say that but it doesn't

00:34:54.800 change the reality of the world and the thing is if you want to be in a man's world then be in it

00:35:00.480 and what women try to do is they go into a man's world and tell them how it should be different

00:35:05.280 yeah because as you've even though even though they've done none of it seems like you are you

00:35:09.520 interviewing me or are we even though they've done none of the work of building the society but go

00:35:14.720 ahead sorry i would argue that our society would be better off if we did have a part in building it

00:35:19.040 our society has been stagnated and has been held back because women have been held back imagine the

00:35:24.400 prosperity and imagine the opportunity that the world would have if women weren't held back and

00:35:29.040 women weren't stagnated and you continuously complain about these things that men have to endure

00:35:35.040 and then simultaneously call it a men's world that women should be grateful to be a part of but we should

00:35:41.360 also be sensitive towards the things that they've built that are detrimental to themselves

00:35:47.200 so what do you think men did historically like what do you think their jobs were like 1800s what

00:35:54.800 were your choices as a man to do as a job because you know you always talk about how women were held

00:35:59.840 back historically so i'm asking like what was life like back then well women had to stay home and men

00:36:05.440 had to do all of the jobs because they didn't allow women to help them what were their jobs that they did

00:36:11.760 what were the most common methods of employment back then i mean what do you mean i mean it's going

00:36:17.040 to be it's going to be construction it's going to be medicine it's going to be food production it's going

00:36:22.560 to be factories it's going like the same thing that runs all of society so they had three choices coal

00:36:28.480 miner farmer factory worker nothing else happened in society i'm not saying nothing else that was the

00:36:34.800 majority of how people were employed so it was you guys have this like rewritten history where you

00:36:42.320 guys think that men just had these glamorous fun jobs but men did the difficult job men know that

00:36:49.120 they don't they didn't enjoy their jobs it's like do you think of any guys going to a coal mine and

00:36:54.880 saying wow this is my passion and again who set that system up it's not about who set it up it's how

00:37:01.360 would this system run without it they need coal at the time they needed coal like the same way now

00:37:07.680 somebody has to build the buildings somebody has to get the food otherwise society does not run

00:37:13.440 correct and we're better off when women participate and when women are able to help men

00:37:18.960 like we talk about all of these like detrimental aspects of these harmful industries and arguably if we

00:37:25.680 cared about how people felt we were compassionate towards their experience we would put more time

00:37:32.080 and energy to improving these harmful industries and if women had been allowed to enter into these

00:37:38.400 industries earlier you could argue that they would be safer industries because we have empathy and we

00:37:44.640 want to value progression and we want to recognize problems and address them we don't just see a problem

00:37:50.240 and say hey that's a problem and then sit on it like no you recognize a problem you recognize what causes

00:37:58.800 it and you fix it okay so i told you about the crab fishing today what are you going to do now as i said

00:38:04.560 that's not my job there are people who are on excuse me if i could please speak as i've said before there

00:38:11.440 are people on safety committees there are people on workers unions there are people whose jobs are dedicated

00:38:19.280 to worker safety so if you're very passionate about that you should probably invite one of them to sit

00:38:25.520 down in the studio and ask them that question okay so nothing you're not because that's not my job i'm

00:38:32.080 just i'm just clarifying you're doing the same thing no because i'm more than happy to recognize that

00:38:38.000 it's a problem that should be addressed by somebody whose specialty it is to address that problem okay so

00:38:44.720 the next topic i'm wanting to get into and we can skip this one if you want but i wanted to talk

00:38:50.320 about trans and women's sports or no you want to talk about you're okay with that i mean we can talk

00:38:55.360 about it briefly okay okay i didn't want to i don't want to you know so okay so how do you feel about

00:39:01.200 trans women playing in female sports i personally have no problem with it i think that there are advantages

00:39:07.680 advantages and disadvantages to be found in the spectrum of biology regardless of like gender and

00:39:13.200 otherwise i see the concerns about the advantages that certain athletes will have over another but

00:39:20.080 again i think that that is a problem that we recognize and we need to figure out how to address

00:39:25.120 it to make it equitable for everybody to be able to participate appropriately it is not my specialty i don't

00:39:31.600 have any specific solutions but i think solutions do exist that we can utilize to make it like

00:39:37.440 advantageous for everybody i also think that this is an issue that is largely overblown and if we want to

00:39:43.760 talk about the issues in women's sports trans athletes are not the major problem there are so many bigger

00:39:49.440 problems that should be addressed and should get a lot more air time but i think that this is a

00:39:56.320 this is a strategy that is utilized to distract attention away from real problems and to demonize

00:40:02.480 a group because this is the same thing we see on the political spectrum right where we want to pick a

00:40:06.720 group and demonize them and make everyone believe that this is the root of our problems when they are

00:40:12.480 not they are just people who want to participate in athletics and sports like everyone else and i think

00:40:17.760 that it's a really easy way for the sports committees and for media to direct attention to a small group of

00:40:24.880 people and demonize them while ignoring the plethora of issues that female athletes have to endure

00:40:29.840 otherwise so i actually agree with you on one part i do think they overblow the issue um i've played

00:40:36.480 volleyball for like 16 years i told you before the podcast i had one experience maybe um however i'm a

00:40:44.960 little bit confused by your answer because it was could you just say in a more simple way are you for it

00:40:50.800 you're okay with it or you're not so i like okay if they said tomorrow they said i'm sorry i do this

00:40:57.440 sometimes but they said tomorrow hey you you get the final decision are they allowed are they not allowed

00:41:03.200 so i would reject that option because it's a nuanced discussion i think that if you want to

00:41:08.160 turn something nuanced into black and white you're going to run into problems and you're going to

00:41:12.720 automatically come to the wrong conclusion well but the way these leagues are run they they have a rule

00:41:18.640 book so when i was playing in england there was a rule book every season and so somebody has to write

00:41:24.880 the rules yeah so when it comes to the rule book it has to be black and white it really doesn't though

00:41:31.680 because you could take into account hormone levels you could take into account like muscle mass

00:41:36.160 like there are plenty of things that you could do to try to make things more fair and equal and so i

00:41:40.880 don't think it's necessarily what are your genitals that's the group you get assigned to like i think

00:41:45.840 it's a way more complex and nuanced issue do you think that women have a right to feel uncomfortable

00:41:51.200 in locker rooms when men are in them sorry i know you're going to say it's like trans whatever you

00:41:55.760 call them but the the guy is dressed like whatever the men the men pretending to be women so i know

00:42:01.040 you're going to call it something else you're trying to talk about people who are assigned male at

00:42:05.120 birth but who identify as women through like societal norms like that is what a trans woman is like by

00:42:10.560 definition that's too long for me i know it seems like you don't really like complicated thoughts

00:42:15.920 so it seems to be like that was rude i mean i'm just making an observation because anytime that i

00:42:22.240 try to implement nuance into a discussion you say like that's just overthinking it that's that's just

00:42:27.840 too complex so it just seems like sarah lee the reason i say that is because i think you do that to

00:42:33.280 evade questions where you can't give a definitive answer no because so i just like to be direct and get

00:42:39.280 like what do you believe out of this and sometimes i think you talk in circles because you can't keep

00:42:44.800 up with what i'm saying so no i can i can keep up yeah and i think you need to just you're because

00:42:49.840 you're asking you're asking me nuanced questions that require a nuanced answer but you can't ask a

00:42:56.800 nuanced question and desire a black and white answer that's just like not how the world works that's

00:43:01.680 a really simple question what would the rule book say and i i answered that i said that we should be

00:43:06.800 able to take into account different biochemical markers in order to make something more equitable

00:43:11.760 okay so a trans person comes in and they say i want to play in the woman's league how are you going

00:43:17.760 to deal with the situation what i just said take into account biochemical markers to make the

00:43:23.200 competition more equitable okay so how would you measure it that's not my job so there's so many things

00:43:28.880 as as i mentioned previously there's hormone levels there's muscle mass there's all these different

00:43:33.760 things that you can measure if we're really going to say that trans people in sports are this huge

00:43:39.200 issue that we need to dedicate so much time to then if we're going to dedicate this much time to talking

00:43:44.880 about them then we should dedicate equally the amount of time we should dedicate it wouldn't be that long

00:43:50.240 of a conversation if you just got to the answer are they allowed are they not allowed because it's

00:43:54.560 not a simple answer allowed what exceptions are we making it's not a simple answer you want a simple

00:43:59.520 answer to a complex problem and that's not how the world works it is how that works because i've

00:44:04.240 played in sports and the rules are generally pretty simple just because you desire a simple answer does

00:44:09.440 not mean that the answer is simple okay well that one is pretty simple they either allow them or they

00:44:15.360 don't if you look at the rule books but that's not equitable or fair which i believe in an equitable

00:44:20.720 and fair society which you've made it very clear that you don't which is probably why we disagree i do

00:44:25.200 want society to be fair but if women the the thing is women want all the privileges without doing the

00:44:32.160 work so why aren't you pushing for women to do 50 of the hard jobs in society the infrastructure jobs

00:44:40.080 i want them to they can if they want to if they want to but they won't and that's the catch i mean do

00:44:45.920 men want to be in those jobs like they don't have to if they don't want to no but many do it because

00:44:51.040 they have to are they drafted into the crab fishing industry or do they choose to go into the crab

00:44:58.400 fishing industry a lot of men do jobs because they know that no one else is going to do them and that

00:45:04.960 sounds like a choice that they are making for themselves okay so going back to equality do you

00:45:10.640 think that women should be enlisted in the draft i don't think that the draft should exist i think

00:45:16.000 nobody should be drafted okay but since it is men are enlisted in selective service and they're fined

00:45:22.960 three hundred thousand dollars if they don't sign up for this do you think that women should have

00:45:28.240 to too in the name of equality i think if we're talking about equality if women don't have to sign

00:45:33.520 up for the draft then men shouldn't either okay then we agree but since they do have to do you think

00:45:39.040 they should too i think that we should abolish the draft so you want me to go in your direction and

00:45:44.400 i'm taking it in my direction you want everyone to be subjugated and controlled and i want everyone

00:45:49.120 to be i don't have an opinion one way or the other my point my my point is that it should be fair

00:45:54.720 yeah so if the men have to do it then the women have to do it too or if the women don't have to

00:45:58.800 do it then the men shouldn't have to do it right but right now the men have to do it and right now

00:46:03.840 the women don't correct so and that's why that's why that's why it goes back to feminists never fight

00:46:10.000 for equality when it comes to men's issues i've never heard women say women sign up for selective

00:46:15.680 service like the men they just say oh that's a hard thing we don't want to have to do it so you

00:46:20.080 haven't spoken to like many academic feminists because many academic feminists who want full

00:46:25.440 societal equality do advocate for men's issues and we recognize the way that certain societal norms

00:46:31.680 which by the way are designed and built and created by men are detrimental to men and we advocate

00:46:38.240 because a lot of feminist ideology is beneficial to men and so we are advocating for men and so you

00:46:45.040 say men have to sign up for the draft so women should have to where i go the opposite you see

00:46:49.840 can i finish my thoughts because you seem to be very pro control where i'm pro freedom i want

00:46:56.800 everyone to have freedom over their body i want everyone to have freedom over their choices where you

00:47:01.280 seem to go in the opposite direction and say if one group is you know subjugated we should subjugate

00:47:06.560 everyone and i don't agree that's not what i said but if okay let's go into family court do you think

00:47:12.560 that custody should be 50 50 off the bat like physical or there's different kinds of custody

00:47:18.000 child custody like who they live with or who makes legal decisions for them yeah 50 50 off the bat so

00:47:25.280 those are two different things um but i think that it is going to be a nuanced discussion and based on

00:47:29.920 family dynamics okay but in general if there's no abuse or anything crazy like that 50 50 off the bat

00:47:37.360 as a starting point um i think that every case should be taken into account from its individual

00:47:43.920 and nuanced perspective i think that sure abuse should absolutely be taken into account but also

00:47:48.720 should finances also should desire for child care also should geographical location like all of these

00:47:54.640 different things but i'm asking for a starting point 50 50 custody off the bat i think that each

00:48:00.880 partner should be looked at equitably and should there should be no discrimination towards either

00:48:06.240 from the get-go from the gate like okay so we would agree off the bat starting it's 50 50.

00:48:12.480 i understand if there's abuse if there's one parent wants to work more totally fine they can work that

00:48:18.400 out but i'm saying to start off the bat 50 50 custody no child support no alimony no that's not what i said

00:48:26.400 okay no child support no alimony that's not what i said i'm i'm asking you what's your thoughts yeah so

00:48:32.320 as i previously said i think that each case should be analyzed and should be you know when it comes to

00:48:41.680 finances when it comes to abuse when it comes to all of these things like that's going to be so unique

00:48:47.280 to each individual circumstance so to say no alimony or full child support or 50 50 like these are

00:48:54.320 people and people are complex and so you seem to want simple answers for complex issues no i want a

00:49:00.640 starting point i i understand that it's complicated and family dynamics there's abuse of women there's

00:49:08.240 abuse of men that would that would change a family dynamic you would agree right there are um

00:49:14.640 differences and schedules for work totally can be worked out but i'm saying off the bat 50 50 custody

00:49:22.080 no child support no alimony yeah and i disagree yeah and and that's my point whenever i talk about an

00:49:29.040 issue that would help men or be more fair to men and that benefits women you don't give me a straight

00:49:34.400 answer who does and you say it's complicated who designed the legal system who designed it yeah i

00:49:41.360 don't know men i mean it depends because some of the laws are like title 4d came in the past um 50 years

00:49:51.280 i want to say and by then like women have the majority of voting power so most of the laws in recent years are

00:49:58.240 catered to women so actually most of these laws are not determined by a vote most of these laws are

00:50:03.680 determined by politicians and right now more men historically and present day hold positions of

00:50:11.040 power and so these policies that you're talking about are not policies that the population is voted

00:50:15.680 on at large these are policies that have been designed primarily by men in power so if you want

00:50:20.880 to talk about how the system is detrimental to men you also need to recognize that men are detrimental to

00:50:26.800 men right but who who's there who are they representing the politicians who votes more who votes more yeah

00:50:33.600 who turns up to vote more who is the majority of the population women okay so they represent women's

00:50:40.720 interests not necessarily and you can see that what what percent of the time do men get custody in

00:50:46.000 family court so it it actually um now the majority of child custody cases are joint custody that's not

00:50:54.560 true it is it's about 50.3 men only get custody 10 percent of the time so we're looking at different

00:51:00.880 statistics most of most alimony payments are men to women most child support payments are men to women

00:51:08.000 and that's because historical precedent yeah you have to take into like historical context of like

00:51:13.360 the and also men earn more than women like there's so much nuance to this but um from cornell i was

00:51:18.240 reading a study by cornell university that looked at divorces and custody and all these things and the

00:51:22.640 majority i think it was 50.3 percent of um child custody cases end up as being joint custody the

00:51:30.560 majority of child support and alimony payments are men to women yeah because men that's the biggest that

00:51:36.080 is the biggest wealth transfer in the united states if women want to be independent i actually have no

00:51:41.040 problem like i again as i said before i think it's very impressive you became a doctor i just think that

00:51:47.360 people that women that want to take that path should pay for it so do you think that the money

00:51:52.400 is for her for the children i think that women do not always spend it on the kids because it takes more

00:52:02.480 to actually you know there are men in poverty over these laws yeah and a lot of child support isn't

00:52:07.840 paid either and you can also opt out of child support by relinquishing your parental rights in a lot

00:52:12.880 of states so if you don't want any rights as a parent then you can relinquish those rights and

00:52:17.360 then you won't be held accountable for child support but if you still want to be in that child's life and

00:52:22.000 you want to be involved then you will have to pay child support so no they take it directly out of

00:52:26.720 your bank account you can lose your fishing license you can um you can you can it is it's really there's

00:52:33.600 men that killed themselves over this i know you think it's funny but like i've interviewed men that

00:52:38.720 were a mile from their kids and haven't seen them in years and they want they wanted nothing i know

00:52:43.200 you think it's like funny but it's really not no i don't think that it's funny i just think i think

00:52:47.280 that you bringing up men losing their fishing licenses while talking about women bearing the

00:52:52.320 majority of like child care duties is like that that like comparison is humorous to me not not men

00:52:58.880 unaliving themselves not men losing money but just like that comparison is that's i mean that's like one

00:53:03.600 of many things that they lose they lose their fishing license like that's one but i'm my point

00:53:08.240 is that it's unconstitutional like i know you think it's funny but it's really not i mean men are nine

00:53:13.520 times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce this literally kills men yeah exactly because men

00:53:19.280 actually benefit from marriage more than women do and when you look at the statistics of like post divorce

00:53:25.680 mental health outcomes men have worse mental health outcomes than women women are typically happier

00:53:30.080 after divorce and so if you want to argue that that marriage disproportionately benefits women like

00:53:35.200 that's not i'd be pretty unhappy too if i was on child support or alimony and i had a hard time seeing

00:53:40.080 my kids and you had to support your children what a hard life well you understand that it's not taxed

00:53:46.400 so the the problem is they take over 50 of the man's income because it's not so they have to pay taxes

00:53:53.680 on the stuff they're giving her and take half of his paycheck to support his children that he wants

00:53:58.640 to be involved in their lives right but it wasn't his choice because women leave the majority it is

00:54:03.360 his choice to relinquish his parental rights if he wants well i'm what i'm saying is many men want to

00:54:08.720 be married and they want to be an involved father and they want to stay with the mother of their children

00:54:14.560 my point is if she makes the decision to leave she should pay for it if you want to leave that's

00:54:19.280 totally fine but you should pay to raise your kid is it not his child as well and he should pay for the

00:54:24.880 time that's why i said 50 50 custody off the bat no child support no alimony so she gets to take on

00:54:31.440 all of the child care responsibilities but he all he gets he doesn't have to like pay anything he

00:54:37.120 doesn't have to have any buy-in say all i said 50 50 custody he should have the kid half the time

00:54:42.240 but doesn't have to pay any money towards it no you should pay for the kid when the kid's at his house

00:54:47.440 okay and so the majority of the time when the kid is at the mother's house he doesn't have to be

00:54:54.560 involved in any way financially no she should pay for it she has a job why why should he have to pay

00:55:00.880 for a kid he should have to he should support it what if she chose to have the kid and she chooses

00:55:06.560 divorce why should she not have to pay for her own decision that's the thing see you want that's there

00:55:11.200 it is you want all the freedom to do whatever you want but you don't want to have to pay for it

00:55:15.280 no because i also think that the way that you the way that you look at these issues and the way that

00:55:20.000 you look at these divorces is very nefarious towards women and so i just think that it's very

00:55:26.960 interesting to see the way that you speak about women and the way that you think about women and

00:55:31.200 the way that you think that we make these decisions as if we're just flippantly getting

00:55:35.520 a divorce and like taking advantage of men as if like it's not more nuanced than that because you don't

00:55:41.120 seem to appreciate the nuance of the human experience and the complexity of relationships

00:55:46.560 you know i think there are valid reasons for divorce if women want to divorce that's totally

00:55:51.760 fine they can do that i think that they should pay for their decisions again this goes back to

00:55:57.840 i say if you want the freedom to do something you should take the responsibility that comes with it

00:56:03.040 you want them to have the freedom to do something but not have the responsibility that comes with it

00:56:07.840 so you say you can have the freedom to divorce totally we agree right we can have the freedom

00:56:13.520 to be a single mother to go into medicine or whatever career you want but i think you should

00:56:19.760 have the responsibility to pay for it and i don't think that do you think that's unreasonable well i would

00:56:25.040 just flip it around right i would say that if men want the freedom to be a part of their child's life

00:56:32.000 then they should accept the responsibility that that entails which includes financial responsibility

00:56:38.480 but women have the right to work now yeah but men still out earn women because they do harder jobs

00:56:45.520 not necessarily no because you don't you don't think doing an infrastructure job is more difficult

00:56:51.680 than the number one employers of women which is admin assistance education so education you get out at

00:56:59.920 like three o'clock 2 30. i mean there's men again there's men dying getting you the chair you're sitting on

00:57:07.360 there's men dying to protect you literally so statistically when they look at the gender wage

00:57:12.800 gap they've shown that women in the exact same positions with the exact same qualifications make

00:57:20.240 less than men so it's not this like strange overarching pattern that you like to point out that men are in

00:57:26.000 these dangerous jobs and they run society like that's just not true when it comes to the gender wage gap

00:57:31.520 they've controlled for these variables when they study this and there's still a very significant

00:57:37.040 gender wage gap even when you control for different industries different degrees different qualifications

00:57:42.880 different hours women working all of the same things as men hours degrees industries education

00:57:49.520 whatever still make less than men so if you want to pull it back towards child care or child support

00:57:56.400 then you have to recognize that like on a societal scale like the wage gap is there and so that's

00:58:03.280 also going to contribute to the gap in child support and financial responsibility well women don't do as

00:58:08.240 good of a job they don't produce as much in the workforce that's why they get actually incorrect they've

00:58:12.960 done they've done they make 80 percent of the world's stuff women okay men have invented 90 of things men

00:58:21.360 where did you get that statistic google it google it right i will top of i mean so and i would argue

00:58:26.320 that especially a world without men too it's in that book okay it's an economist he breaks down

00:58:32.000 i would argue that also historically women have been erased from their accomplishments a lot of people

00:58:37.600 don't know that albert einstein had a wife who actually helped him and got the same degrees that he

00:58:43.280 did she went to the same schools that he did same classes but they didn't award her a degree because

00:58:49.200 she was a woman and i'm not done and she helped him develop the monumental calculations that we

00:58:55.920 still utilize today and he's been quoted saying that he would be nowhere near as successful and would

00:59:01.280 have never found the in um like developed the equations that he did without her so that's just

00:59:07.120 one anecdotal part but when you look at the actual productivity and efficiency of women if you

00:59:13.840 are a female surgeon you are going to have better surgical outcomes this has been studied numerous

00:59:18.800 times and statistically female surgeons have better outcomes than male surgeons they've also analyzed

00:59:24.640 the top 500 companies like fortune 500 i think they're only 20 of surgeons yeah and so isn't that

00:59:31.120 amazing that only 20 of women have better outcomes than 80 and they would be doing the majority of medical

00:59:36.960 breakthroughs they're not they're not the majority but they are the surgeries that they are doing and the

00:59:42.480 work that they are doing is higher quality than the work that men are doing according to what some study

00:59:49.440 if they could dominate the field they would go do it we are where's the female billionaires all the

00:59:54.880 female billionaires are rich off of men's money yeah so it's actually 80 of billionaires inherited

01:00:00.080 their family's money but that's beyond the man or a woman from men because historical because

01:00:05.840 historical precedent men are more productive historical precedent pearl but there's we've had 50 years like

01:00:12.560 where where is the female elon musk where is so they've actually analyzed the top 500 companies and

01:00:19.520 female ceos companies that are run by female ceos outperform companies that are run by male ceos so as

01:00:26.240 i've said before if women were not historically stagnated and kept behind and banned from partaking in

01:00:34.640 education in all of these industries i would argue that our society would be better off we would be safer

01:00:40.320 we'd be happier we'd be more efficient just based on the last 50 years where we have been

01:00:45.040 able to partake at a higher level and all the statistics show that we are more successful than men

01:00:50.400 when we compete with them and we are still making up for the historical precedent in the past

01:00:55.120 and that's and we do all of that while enduring discrimination while enduring doubt while enduring

01:01:01.600 things like pregnancy and childbearing without maternal um or maternity leave that's guaranteed

01:01:08.480 we're the only developed country in the world that doesn't have um mandatory maternity leave like our

01:01:14.560 country is so broken on all of these levels and we have so many other things that we could be talking

01:01:19.520 about to improve society but instead we're talking about like how men die on crab boats and they have

01:01:26.480 to pay child support when like arguably that is not the biggest issue that we have in our in our country

01:01:32.240 so you think that we talk too much about men dying at work no that's not what i said i think that's

01:01:40.720 no i think that's an oversimplification of my statement okay what do you think would be better

01:01:45.200 issues to focus on i think that we need to focus on the things that are actually impacting americans

01:01:50.320 like access to health care like i said mandatory maternity leave and paternity leave i would love

01:01:56.080 if men got the opportunity to spend more time with their children and bond with them i think that we

01:02:00.880 need to address the housing crisis because now in the u.s dual income educated households cannot afford to

01:02:09.200 buy a home in average um on average in u.s cities like we have from health care to housing to child

01:02:16.400 care we have so many issues that are worth talking about well if we're going to go into maternity

01:02:21.360 leave that's again you want the freedom to have kids and you want the company to pay for it yeah like

01:02:26.880 every other developed nation because every other developed nation recognizes that the more that you

01:02:31.600 invest in families the better off you have the better off you are as society as a whole yeah women

01:02:38.240 aren't really having kids that's incorrect one out of three women has had an abortion one out of

01:02:44.400 four will have in their lifetime so it's different statistics okay one out of three one out of four

01:02:51.120 women have 1.2 kids 1.5 ish yeah and one out of four women will also experience sex in their lifetime

01:02:58.720 do you want to talk about that or we can talk about it what's what is why don't you tell me don't

01:03:06.320 you tell you brought up the stat you brought up the topic i think that it's interesting that i have to

01:03:11.360 describe what's um but essentially is any um like unwanted physical um i'm trying to think of a good

01:03:21.680 way to describe this so in a nuanced way because it could be um a violation of your bodily autonomy

01:03:29.040 essentially is what it is okay so who determine who decides if they felt violated the victim okay

01:03:36.400 so it's up to the discretion of the victim because some people are more touchy than others so some

01:03:42.320 people are going to say something's a violation and some people would say something isn't right so

01:03:47.280 i just find that interesting that your automatic response is to belittle the experience of the victim

01:03:53.200 okay you can find it interesting but i'm asking you a question so could you answer it i believe

01:03:58.480 women and i believe victims okay every victim so every woman you believe again nuance pearl so if

01:04:05.840 we're talking about things on a population level and if we're talking about one in four women will

01:04:12.080 experience this then no i can't say every single one because we're talking about millions okay but the

01:04:18.800 majority of them yes i believe them okay so how did they get this number you brought up the stats

01:04:24.720 i'm asking you how is it a survey it's multiple surveys but yeah and then so we're just blindly

01:04:30.240 believing what they say how many filed a police report and actually convicted the guy so do you

01:04:36.480 have any idea of how emotionally taxing it is to go through a criminal case and and not only

01:04:42.240 that not only the police report i don't know the statistics on that but i don't think that it's

01:04:46.240 relevant because this is yeah this is the challenge we get is we just blindly believe women yeah i think

01:04:52.800 that we should i think that we should believe women who say that they've been assaulted because the me

01:04:57.360 too movement shows you that it's so grossly prevalent in our society and i think that you are belittling

01:05:04.320 the impact that it has on the victim to go through the kit at an er to go through that physical

01:05:11.120 assessment and to be violated further after your body's already been violated and then to go through

01:05:17.600 the entire criminal court process which can take years having to tell your story over and over and

01:05:24.640 over and i do not blame women in the slightest if they say you know what i don't want to put myself

01:05:31.520 through that i've gone through enough i'm not going to further traumatize myself yeah that's i understand

01:05:37.680 that however we have to believe the evidence and so if you're gonna tell me a story we have to go

01:05:43.840 through the evidence which is only found in criminal court i disagree what do you mean you disagree you

01:05:49.600 think we should just blindly okay like how far do we take that do men lose opportunities because a

01:05:55.280 woman has a story and she didn't file charges i think when women go on social media with no police

01:06:00.960 report and tell stories where it's easy to identify the man should they be allowed to do that with no

01:06:06.400 repercussions this would happen all the time to like me when i was on my show interviewed a thousand

01:06:11.600 people women rarely file police reports yeah because it's traumatizing yeah no but what i found was a

01:06:19.200 little different i used to kind of be more like you where i would um you know when a girl find nuance

01:06:25.360 not that but express empathy not really more so um usually i would think that women were telling the

01:06:33.760 truth like when they would tell me someone abused them someone assaulted them the problem is if you

01:06:39.840 ask a couple questions a lot of times their story falls apart i'll give you an example so there is a

01:06:44.320 woman who said she had an abusive ex-boyfriend she comes on my show and i asked her a couple questions

01:06:49.200 i said okay did you file a police report she said no i said okay comes to find out um she said that he

01:06:54.880 shoved her down the stairs that was her story so i asked her i said okay how did this like come up like

01:07:00.320 how did this situation happen and it turns out she was actually trespassing so he wasn't supposed to

01:07:06.960 she wasn't supposed to be in his house and he kept asking her to leave and she wouldn't leave

01:07:12.080 she had a romantic relationship with this guy and she was trying to fight with him in front of his kid

01:07:16.000 he didn't want to fight in front of the kid he ends up pushing her out not trying to push her down

01:07:20.720 the stairs but he's trying to get her to leave does that make sense and she claims abuse i think

01:07:26.800 that's a little bit overblown would you agree with that in that specific story so that is anecdotal

01:07:33.200 evidence no i know that's totally fine but i'm saying in good faith could you agree with me i want

01:07:38.000 you to understand why i think this way i will agree with the premise that these are complex issues that

01:07:45.120 should be looked at holistically totally fine and when we so i think that it's interesting that when i

01:07:51.520 bring up like believing women i'm ultimately saying we should believe anecdotal evidence like

01:07:56.960 we should believe women's account of what they are experiencing especially when these stories are

01:08:02.000 corroborated on on a population level and then in counter you give me anecdotal evidence that

01:08:10.240 i totally understand but i'm just i just want you to go with me on this and you can disregard it later

01:08:15.920 okay that's not how you totally totally fine totally fine but i'm asking you in that case

01:08:21.360 do you agree with me that that was overblown no because because i don't know the details of the

01:08:27.360 case it's a he said she said i i know but can we in good faith just set like just agree that i'm

01:08:33.440 telling you the truth just you can it's fine i agree that you're telling me the truth but not that

01:08:39.200 you've been told the entire truth okay but assuming those facts are correct would you agree that's

01:08:45.680 overblown assuming those facts that you gave me are correct yes in that one particular instance

01:08:52.320 sure totally fine what i found and this is i'm just explaining how i came to these conclusions

01:08:59.360 was that normally when i would ask women to give me more details about their story there was something

01:09:05.680 they they left out that like many times women would say he hit me but she hit him first and

01:09:11.520 they would leave that out sorry um we had a woman who started the first men's abuse her name's aaron

01:09:18.400 piszi she started the first men's abuse center in the uk and she dealt with both men and women that were

01:09:25.280 abused and most abuse is mutual meaning they're hitting each other so that that's the majority of cases

01:09:35.680 and what what i found is women would often leave out the other side they would say they were assaulted

01:09:41.920 and they wouldn't put the other side of the story and no i'm just explaining how i came to this

01:09:47.360 conclusion yeah so the i understand it's anecdotal but you know just like you've come to some

01:09:53.680 conclusions because you anecdotally going through the medical system you that was how you came to those

01:09:59.680 conclusions i'm telling you how it came to mind okay and so i think ultimately we end up with my

01:10:05.920 conclusion which is we should look at each of these cases holistically and with nuance and recognize

01:10:11.360 that these are complex issues that just can't be given a black and white solution or scenario well my

01:10:17.280 point is we have to go based on the evidence and the only way we can go on evidence is in criminal court

01:10:22.640 i disagree with that because as i've said it is incredibly traumatizing and taxing to go through the

01:10:27.760 criminal process so i think unfortunately we are left to anecdotal evidence when it comes to a lot

01:10:33.120 of these cases right but how do you know if somebody is lying you don't yeah and again this is going

01:10:39.200 back to you want to be able to accuse men of anything and they just and we just have to believe

01:10:44.800 women and the men just have to take it so that's how that's how so many men get falsely accused on

01:10:50.320 college campuses and in the workplace do you know the statistics of when they've analyzed these issues

01:10:55.840 and when they've analyzed these claims how many turn out to be false well there's a lot of stats

01:11:01.280 people throw around i don't know which ones you're going to bring up but you go ahead around two to

01:11:06.800 eight percent the highest that i can find is eight percent and how do they come to that conclusion

01:11:13.120 through both like if you're not going to look at like criminal evidence a lot of times they'll

01:11:18.240 corroborate it with friends and family they'll corroborate it with um instances at the workplace

01:11:23.040 um things like that okay well i the majority of cases that are brought to police are not prosecuted

01:11:32.240 meaning that they don't have the evidence to prosecute them yeah because it's incredibly hard

01:11:37.440 unless you have a video camera in every room of your house i highly i highly doubt that this survey

01:11:44.240 got better evidence than the police so that's actually incorrect because you're comparing things like

01:11:50.160 civil civil and criminal instances right because something where a man is going to lose his position

01:11:55.920 at a job or where he's going to whatever it may be that's different from like a criminal accusation

01:12:02.080 and the bar for criminal accusation is so much higher um and you're going to need things like um like

01:12:09.280 video evidence and transcripts and all these things which are going to be incredibly difficult to have

01:12:15.200 when you're living in the real world where like abuse doesn't happen in front of a camera don't you

01:12:20.400 think that the bar should be high to accuse someone of a crime that's that serious criminally don't you

01:12:27.520 you don't think so civilly too no don't we want to be sure that the person is guilty well like you say

01:12:34.960 i live in the real world and it's just not realistic to have that amount of evidence when a lot of times

01:12:40.400 abuse happens behind closed doors where are you going to get the evidence from easy if you're

01:12:45.760 getting hit by a guy you're going to have a black eye or something are you crazy have you ever do you

01:12:50.640 know how strong men are also holy like i'm serious like i played sports and i got elbowed once by accident

01:12:59.200 from a guy and i i had a black eye for weeks it's simple easy if you're if you're getting beat by a guy

01:13:06.080 you are going to there's no way you will not have marks physical abuse is only one kind of abuse

01:13:10.880 first of all there's many different kinds of abuse second of all men are a lot smarter than

01:13:14.880 that and a lot of them know to not leave visible visible evidence but i'm what percent of men do

01:13:20.320 you think are abusive i would be throwing out a random number i couldn't even tell you how many men

01:13:26.000 you just make it seem like it's everywhere like if all these women are saying they're assaulted wouldn't

01:13:31.600 that mean a good percent of men are assaulting yeah i mean if one in four women will experience

01:13:37.920 assault in their lifetime then i would argue that one in four men could potentially be abusers if you

01:13:42.160 want to like correlate the two statistics but also 90 of violent crime in our country is committed

01:13:48.320 by men so it really isn't because you don't count do you want to talk about it we can but

01:13:55.680 not really it sounds like i mean i mean i'm like i'm pro-life but like i know you're not and it's not

01:14:02.320 i mean but if you're going to equate a to violent crime i think that that that deserves a response

01:14:08.000 okay well i mean i view a person as a child and i know you don't so that's not true okay go ahead

01:14:14.480 i i view like you i view it from the moment of conception as a child i do as well oh you just

01:14:21.840 think the woman should be able to kill the kid i think that it is her body and if she does not want

01:14:27.520 to or cannot endure pregnancy it is her choice to do so so you really you view it as a kid i thought

01:14:32.960 you'd view it as a fetus no i mean it is a fetus but i view it as a human fetus who will eventually

01:14:38.640 develop into a child okay what point for you well you gain personhood when you enter into the world

01:14:45.360 so at birth so you would you would allow up to birth no okay when what point for you so i i think

01:14:53.760 i actually think um conservatives should negotiate on this and just find a point yeah and just like

01:15:00.320 stop fighting so i'm just curious what the point would be i'd put i i would by the way i want to

01:15:05.760 clarify morally i think it's wrong but i'm trying to be realistic in 2025 three months would you agree to

01:15:13.120 that yeah i think that i think three months is a reasonable time frame but i will say so i've been

01:15:20.240 asked this question a lot i'd even i'd even bargain and say four can we just stop fighting

01:15:24.400 four yeah i mean i think it's wrong and i want to say i think it's wrong it's just i think there's

01:15:29.120 bigger like you're not going to win that issue so yeah i agree because it's a nuanced issue so

01:15:34.560 the the issue is so for me i i don't think that there is a reasonable timeline to initiate a ban

01:15:44.560 because most happens within the pre three to four month mark so if you want to do a ban at that time

01:15:53.200 sure but what happens after that after that three to month uh three to four month mark a lot of times

01:16:00.640 those abortions happen because of complex physical medical or life circumstances and so in my

01:16:09.040 professional opinion and what i've seen happen in the hospital and when i talk to real life people

01:16:14.560 i recognize that abortions that happen later in gestation are typically very complicated and they

01:16:20.160 have a lot of consideration and a lot of reason for them to happen so to put a ban there is only going to

01:16:28.320 further harm people who are facing an impossible choice so it might sound good um philosophically

01:16:36.480 and it might sound good like oh let's just put an arbitrary number at you know 20 weeks or whatever

01:16:42.320 but realistically if you do that you are targeting people who are already suffering something extremely

01:16:50.240 difficult right but for me it would be easier to just say this is the point other than extreme

01:16:57.440 circumstances like if someone's very sick dying fine i'm just i'm just wondering if you had i'm just

01:17:03.040 wondering where for you you'd put it for the majority can't get it after so and most pro-choice

01:17:09.120 people i don't think most want people to be allowed to abort the day before the kid's born right and

01:17:14.240 people aren't right i understand they're not but i'm saying most pro-choice people would agree so i'm

01:17:18.880 saying like hypothetically neither of us have any political power so it's like it's hypothetical where would

01:17:25.200 the point be for you for me hypothetically it would be at um the limit of viability which is around

01:17:31.840 21 to 24 weeks about okay would you compromise at four months i don't see any reason to oh you wouldn't

01:17:40.320 i mean you won't meet in the middle like the pro-life i'm pro-life meaning i want zero that's

01:17:45.760 where i want but i'm saying hey i'd meet you in the middle so we can just stop these protests at a board

01:17:50.880 i just but the thing is like i don't i don't see the four months four months no protests will go

01:17:55.680 away no because i i don't think the protest i know i know they won't but yeah like i mean i'm trying to

01:18:01.840 be reasonable here right well me too and and the thing for me is like being reasonable is recognizing

01:18:07.360 that pregnant people are people and that their lives and medical conditions are complex so we could

01:18:12.480 like make it easy for the sake of argument but making it easy for the sake of argument is putting

01:18:18.400 impossible choices and barriers in front of people who are already facing an impossible choice could

01:18:23.840 you humor me i said the limit of viability if i was to pick a point it would be the limit of viability

01:18:29.840 which like you could say 21 weeks or something okay okay i'd go a little i'd probably try to wiggle

01:18:35.680 you down a little bit if i had any political power well because me like my i view it as for me personally

01:18:42.560 if i if i could have whatever i wanted i would want it to be illegal okay i see that as unrealistic

01:18:50.160 i don't see it changing anytime soon i know we got roe versus wade but the number of aborts

01:18:56.720 increased after that i think it's like a losing issue for conservatives and we should focus on other

01:19:02.480 things that's a really unpopular opinion for a conservative but i've watched like the pro-life

01:19:08.480 movement argue for like a decade and i don't really see them getting much i i know the conservative

01:19:14.400 zero versus wade is like a big that's the last win they're ever going to have in my lifetime that's the

01:19:19.520 way i view it so to me i think okay it's not really worth losing like political support for conservatives

01:19:29.040 let's just make a deal with them let's find a point that maybe they're a little bit unhappy we're a

01:19:34.240 little bit unhappy but let's make a deal and move on like that's that's how i view it conservatives

01:19:39.440 don't agree with me i don't think liberals do either because nobody wants to like like if

01:19:44.000 conservatives want zero and some liberals want like six months let's say okay let's meet in the middle at

01:19:49.440 three four and then just stop arguing i know that's like very idealistic that'll never happen but it's

01:19:56.320 if this was pearl's world this is does that make sense yeah no i mean i i do appreciate that

01:20:02.640 perspective yeah like like especially coming from like a pro-life conservative i do appreciate the

01:20:07.760 the ability to be flexible on that point yeah i i don't know how to put it like i'm not like i think

01:20:13.440 it's wrong but i'm realistic on like what we can accomplish like what is realistic for us to like

01:20:20.480 accomplish i think there's just other things yeah and and that's the thing too is i know they're gonna

01:20:24.400 roast me for that look guys i mean it like i don't know if i saw you guys getting stuff done i just

01:20:30.000 don't like i don't see these like protests outside of clinics like doing much i just you know it's i

01:20:36.960 agree and and i will say too that i just want to emphasize i totally respect you being uncomfortable

01:20:44.400 with them i respect anybody who is uncomfortable with them and i never want to pressure anyone to

01:20:52.080 feel as though they need to become comfortable with it because that's not true i'm pro-choice right and you

01:20:58.080 have the choice to be uncomfortable with it but it's when it comes to your body and so it's just

01:21:05.520 these instances are so complex that we have to recognize that like you can have any opinion that

01:21:11.280 you want as long as it pertains to your body and your body alone yeah and i think it's wrong but you

01:21:17.920 know there's a lot of i don't put it i like i wish it wasn't the case but it is and i can't it goes back

01:21:25.280 to like it's the same way i was trying to explain to you earlier that this isn't a wish list like i

01:21:31.600 don't just get a gone because i want it and it's not really realistic that it just goes away tomorrow

01:21:38.160 so does that make sense yeah no it does make sense um do you think i want to talk about chivalry and

01:21:47.120 women and men getting different sentences for crimes are the two kind of topics i want to end on okay um

01:21:54.320 what do you think about women's sentences are 30 shorter for a man with the same crime do you

01:22:00.320 think that's unfair you'll be shocked to hear that i think it's complex i think that a lot of times the

01:22:06.640 court has to take into account the responsibilities that women have especially when it comes to child

01:22:11.840 rearing and their families because disproportionately that responsibility falls on women and sure you could

01:22:18.000 be um you know convicted of a crime but that doesn't make your your children any less needing

01:22:24.160 for of of family to take care of them so i think that that does play a part in it do i think there

01:22:28.800 are other solutions sure but statistically that plays into the reduced sentences also men tend to

01:22:34.800 have more violent crimes so like i said 90 of the violent crime in our country is committed by men

01:22:39.360 and a lot of times the courts take into account um like the the risk of reincarnation re-incarceration

01:22:47.040 incarnation uh risk of re-incarceration um and a lot of that has to do with violence and men tend to

01:22:53.680 be more violent so i think when you balance kind of the um the risk that men have towards society and

01:23:00.080 then the benefit um or the responsibilities that women bear um when it comes to like domestic labor and

01:23:06.480 child rearing i think that that plays a role would you like to see it be more fair like more even in

01:23:12.080 the future i mean i don't know in the name of equality like would you like in the future for the

01:23:17.680 sentences to be more fair i mean it depends on the sentence but yeah i mean i i think that if you commit

01:23:23.200 the same crime then then doing the same time makes sense but i also think that we over criminalize

01:23:28.560 people in this country i think that um like our prison system is privatized and i think that that's

01:23:34.400 extremely problematic so i don't think that the solution is to further incarcerate people i think

01:23:39.760 that we have to have a holistic approach when it comes to who and why um we're incarcerating them

01:23:46.000 yeah so the one part i disagree i actually think women are more violent than men and the reason i

01:23:50.640 think they're more violent than men is a couple reasons number one i believe that but even if you

01:23:56.560 take out a i think the most violent people are people that are violent towards the innocent many times

01:24:02.000 when men um get prosecuted it's for a reason probably not a good one right but they get into

01:24:07.920 a bar fight accidentally punch someone too hard they die they go to jail that's the the majority of

01:24:13.280 like men that commit murders from some sort of fight not saying that's right or wrong but it's like

01:24:18.160 women when there's an infanticide meaning a child dies within the first year the police almost never

01:24:23.600 go looking for a man if there's a baby found in a dumpster it's always pretty much unanimously a woman

01:24:28.720 if you look at people who attack the elderly too women are the majority of the ones that

01:24:34.640 attack the elderly i think if women had the same strength that men did they would be equally as

01:24:38.880 violent but the difference is we don't have the strength that men do so when you talk about things

01:24:43.920 like the violence that so we could we could even take out a i understand for you that wouldn't be

01:24:49.040 like a factor yeah but i i do want to recognize that you brought it up because what what i heard from

01:24:55.280 you was that and that is violent and so if we take that into account then women are the the primary

01:25:02.720 aggressors in our society but men have so many reasons to be violent and sometimes they have an

01:25:09.680 excuse and sometimes it was an accident and sometimes and so i just want to recognize like

01:25:14.880 that mentality shift when it comes to like having appreciation for the complexity of men's experiences

01:25:21.520 while just not having the same mentality towards women's experiences and women when having an

01:25:27.920 abortion are affecting their body and and nobody externally from their body when men commit violent

01:25:36.320 crimes like they are harming somebody who is not within or a part of their body so those two violent

01:25:42.720 crimes are like not the same and not equivalent in any way but also i just want to recognize the two

01:25:48.160 other things that you said when it comes to elder abuse and infanticide so women statistically bear

01:25:56.400 the majority of responsibility when it comes to both caring for the elderly and caring for children and

01:26:02.320 so statistically you are going to have higher rates of abuse when we are the ones taking care of those

01:26:08.000 people and so it's the same either i just want to correct you so it's they've looked at that and if that

01:26:13.040 were true then as women spent more time with children you would see a higher rate of crime but

01:26:18.480 as women spend less time with children there's a higher rate of crime so there's no correlation i

01:26:23.040 know i know because a lot of people bring that up what do you mean higher rate of crime for who so if

01:26:27.840 if you're arguing that women um commit crime because they're with the kids more then as we are with the

01:26:34.720 kids less you would see crime go down and it hasn't female women are more abusive towards kids what do you

01:26:41.120 mean crime goes down the rate of them abusing children goes down as the time spent with them

01:26:49.040 goes down that makes sense like you spend less time with them you're sorry it's the other way i said it

01:26:53.920 wrong so say it again so they looked at women spend how much time the women spend with the kids and over

01:27:00.480 the last 50 years women have spent less time with kids but the abuse stats have gone up so if if what

01:27:06.400 you're saying was true and it's about how much time they're spending with kids it would be correlated

01:27:11.360 so and you also have to look at the way that these statistics are gathered over the last 50 years

01:27:15.440 because there's also a bias that comes into play where we are able to better track abuse that happens

01:27:20.720 in modern day compared to before but i will recognize and it's pretty much kids child abuse is

01:27:26.240 mostly women and when it's a man it's usually a stepdad which was the woman's choice to bring into the

01:27:31.200 kid's life so the stepdad has absolutely no responsibility for the abuse he absolutely does

01:27:35.760 but the woman does as well because you are responsible for who you let into your kid's life

01:27:40.800 right and again this goes back to like financial responsibility where a lot of times my point is

01:27:45.760 it's almost overwhelmingly not the biological father that's my that's my point so women are the majority of

01:27:53.440 abuse when it comes to children and the elderly because they're also the majority of the caretakers

01:27:58.000 well i think i would disagree with that but i think what you'd see is how women act when they

01:28:03.840 are stronger and have more power but in normal interactions women do not have power it was not

01:28:10.240 an excuse for men that it was okay my point is women don't have the opportunity to kill someone with

01:28:16.480 their fist so they're not going to use that because they can't do it so you're saying that women take

01:28:22.640 advantage of the less fortunate or the more vulnerable they're more abusive towards them they

01:28:28.000 also care for them more statistically right but we just debunked that we didn't though yes we did

01:28:34.480 no because you're saying that we're spending less time with children yet abuse goes up but you could

01:28:38.960 argue so do you know what a confounding factor is tell me so no go ahead tell me okay so a confounding

01:28:45.840 factor are things that could be contributing to a statistic beyond what you recognized within the

01:28:52.080 statistic so this is the same thing like um ice cream consumption goes up in the summer and so do

01:28:59.120 sunburns and so ice cream is the cause of sunburns where no a confounding factor would be both ice

01:29:06.560 cream consumption and sunburns go up in the summer because there's more sunlight and people are outside

01:29:12.000 more and so this is like correlation this is kind of how you guys dance around it because whenever

01:29:17.440 there's a stat that women that makes women look bad you guys never acknowledge it it's just oh it's

01:29:23.200 just because they like okay spending more time with the kid isn't a reason to abuse it there's no excuse

01:29:29.600 no but the zero time none no excuse none so women are more abusive towards kids and the elderly no you

01:29:38.560 have to recognize the way that these statistics are gathered and the confounding factors that impact

01:29:43.440 these statistics and i know that you don't like to think about complex topics and appreciate nuance

01:29:49.200 as we have you can't even answer basic questions no because you want me to give because you can't give

01:29:54.880 yes or no answer because you want me to give you simple questions to or simple answers to complex

01:30:00.640 questions and that is not the reality that we live in if you ask you can't answer simple questions

01:30:06.000 you are asking complex questions and wanting a simple answer it's not overly difficult to answer

01:30:11.360 a simple question so not everything is it depends like that's that's what you guys go to whenever

01:30:16.480 there's anything that makes women look bad or anything that benefits men your answer is just it depends

01:30:21.840 it's complicated it's not that simple instead of just answering a direct question listen when you

01:30:28.560 see a complex topic as simple it does not make that topic simple it makes you simple-minded

01:30:35.600 it means you keep trying to virtue signal that you're smart and i get it okay no you're very

01:30:40.960 smart okay go ahead i'm just i'm saying if you're so smart you should be able to answer simple questions

01:30:47.600 you are asking complex questions and you're not recognizing that they are complex i am simply

01:30:53.440 pointing out to you that you are taking part in a complex discussion and desiring it to have a simple

01:30:59.120 answer who is more abusive towards kids and the elderly see and that is a complex question with

01:31:04.880 confounding factors out of the biological parents who is more abusive the people who spend the most

01:31:11.040 time with children are going to have the most opportunity to be abusive compared to people who walk

01:31:16.320 away answer answer a is mothers answer b is fathers who's more abusive fathers are more absent who is

01:31:23.440 more abusive men or women it is easy to be absent and whose fault is that elaborate on your question

01:31:29.840 whose fault is it if you have an absent father whose fault do you believe it is mothers why you picked

01:31:36.160 them so he bears no responsibility well many men don't have a choice oh really what percent of the

01:31:43.200 time do men get custody of their kid well over 50 percent of custody cases are joint custody yeah

01:31:49.920 but this mom is still the prime one of the parents has to be primary yeah and so it's majority the

01:31:55.760 mother and they get every other weekend that's four days a month yeah and the majority of the time men

01:32:00.240 don't fight for majority custody yeah i'll give you an i'll give you a story so there is a guy in a

01:32:05.920 similar situation and he he it's been two years since he's seen his kid because his wife filed a

01:32:10.960 restraining order on him and did not take him to criminal court this man was in tears in my studio

01:32:16.720 talking about how he and you're rolling your eyes it's not funny no because he was and i'm telling you

01:32:21.520 because i'm i'm telling you why i think the way i do and he's in tears telling me that he cannot see

01:32:27.760 his children it's been two years he has three kids and he can't fight because his wife kicked him

01:32:34.240 out of the house he lived in he's on child support immediately and he lost his job and the thing is

01:32:40.560 they have to go back to court and renegotiate the child support and it doesn't take into account

01:32:45.440 that he hasn't been employed in six months because you know it's like out of the blue you know 80

01:32:50.880 of men don't see divorce coming he didn't expect this because they don't pay attention and and why

01:32:59.040 like this is i'm trying to educate you on what's going on you're giving me anecdotal evidence when i

01:33:03.440 would instead i would like to talk about you okay so well you don't have to like don't yell like for what

01:33:07.920 you've over talked to me this entire interview girl and so what happened was now he has the

01:33:13.920 choice he goes to a lawyer and he can spend three hundred thousand dollars hundred thousand dollars

01:33:18.560 to maybe get four days a month men look at that and they just don't see it as worth fighting

01:33:24.080 something they're probably going to lose again that's anecdotal evidence so can you tell me why

01:33:28.640 did divorces happen well the different sources will tell you different things but irreconcilable

01:33:35.360 differences is one of the most commonly cited reasons sometimes it's infidelity um other ones

01:33:42.640 are money financial and what role do you think men play in those reasons in irreconcilable differences

01:33:49.840 sure if you want to go with that one yeah what role um i mean in a divorce both parties play a role

01:33:55.680 so i'm right yeah yeah but you're saying that i'm just trying to get what you're asking yeah so i'll

01:34:01.600 clarify so you're saying that 80 percent of men don't see divorce coming right so then logically

01:34:07.840 going off of that statistic you would ask well what causes divorce then what are the reasons that women

01:34:13.680 are leaving men and why don't they see it coming and so there's no good reason to get a divorce

01:34:21.760 i mean outside of extreme cases not really i mean your kid is more likely to become a criminal your

01:34:28.480 kid's more likely to drop out of school your kid's more likely to commit suicide your kid is at

01:34:33.440 every statistical disadvantage in society because you chose divorce so take kids out of the equation

01:34:40.880 we're just talking about relationship dynamics okay fine okay go ahead so you i'll go back to you said

01:34:48.960 80 percent of men don't see divorce coming and then we talked about the primary reasons people get

01:34:53.760 divorced and so i'm asking you what role do men play in the reasons that people get divorced and

01:35:00.720 you said that you don't think there's any good reasons so i just want you to elaborate on that

01:35:04.720 thought i don't think there's good reason when you have children um but people have a right to do what

01:35:13.120 they want and there are reasons for relationship breakdown that both parties contribute to so i don't

01:35:19.760 i don't know which like what you're trying to get at so go ahead yeah so majority of the time when

01:35:25.840 you talk about irreconcilable irreconcilable differences um a lot of times we're talking about

01:35:30.880 communication breakdown and we're talking about religious differences we're talking about financial

01:35:35.520 differences like that's a very overarching topic right and as we've recognized at the very beginning

01:35:41.040 of this interview men don't tend to take it seriously when people care about the words that are said

01:35:47.360 when people care about the way that they're treated men just ignore that they say who cares whatever

01:35:53.840 and guess what your wife cares and so it matters when men don't want to participate in these com

01:36:01.360 these lines of communication when men don't want to learn empathy and active listening when men don't

01:36:07.600 want to participate in the domestic labor of a household those things are going to slowly deteriorate

01:36:13.760 a relationship over time and that is why men don't see it coming because in order to see it coming

01:36:19.600 you have to be partaking in these conversations if you have no desire to partake in the conversation

01:36:24.960 and you're constantly invalidating your partner and their feelings then that's how you don't see it

01:36:29.920 coming yeah because men know that women are never happy and women like to complain and i think an

01:36:36.160 example is we see more protests even though we live in the freest society with the most choice

01:36:42.560 than ever in all of human history and women are still complaining and you this translates to all

01:36:49.840 areas of life including relationships women complain because they don't like men's tone

01:36:55.200 and it's very almost egotistical because they you you think that everyone should communicate the way

01:37:00.240 that you do but people are different but you should be able to communicate with your partner what

01:37:04.800 does that mean like i mean it's easy to talk about in the abstract what does that mean what does it mean

01:37:09.520 to communicate with your partner like about what saying hello good morning like what do you yeah

01:37:14.160 so um as as a married woman i can tell you that communication with my husband is extremely important

01:37:20.160 on a day-to-day basis and that can that takes part or that includes a variety of things right

01:37:25.280 so i have a very high stress job so i want him to be able to hear me out and recognize when i'm having

01:37:31.040 a hard day or i'm stressed out i want him to be able to recognize when i'm feeling overwhelmed or when i

01:37:36.160 feel like i need help and same thing for him if he has a hard day at work if something happened to him

01:37:41.040 or if he's like you know what this is how i'm feeling today i want to be able to actively listen

01:37:46.160 and make him feel know that he is loved and make him know that i will do everything in my power to

01:37:50.720 take some things off his plate when i need to or for him to take things off my plate when i i need it

01:37:56.160 and so that's what i mean like it's weird but if they don't communicate the way you want then what

01:38:00.960 you call it quits well i think that if you're not able to properly communicate with your

01:38:04.720 partner and you've tried and you've tried and you've tried then that's not the right partner for

01:38:08.640 you okay and that's totally fine i'm really not against women legally divorcing um i have my

01:38:14.800 opinions on it but you've said in the past that you are against divorce you know what no you know what

01:38:19.840 i switched i i've talked about this on my channel you might not have seen it i switched my opinion i

01:38:24.240 used to think we should ban divorce and i switched my opinion on that oh okay yeah i did um because

01:38:30.640 honestly there are so many miserable wives that men just don't deserve to be tortured for life

01:38:35.360 in my opinion and i think that a lot of men are the reason that women are tortured

01:38:40.080 yeah totally fine who cares why um but you know i'm not in the process of babysitting adults if you

01:38:45.440 want to go get a divorce get divorced yeah my point is pay for it don't put anyone in child support

01:38:51.360 don't put anyone in alimony you wanted to be equal be equal pay for your choice do you want to have

01:38:56.000 access to your children pay 50 50 no it's 50 percent his dna in my opinion he should get 50

01:39:03.600 custody off the bat and that should be a right of his because that is half his child if he wants it

01:39:09.360 yeah yeah but he i mean on average you're talking at least 100k to get custody that's a lot of money

01:39:16.800 like most people don't have that amount of money yeah how much do you think it takes to raise a child

01:39:22.080 i've seen different reports um but it's expensive yeah yeah exactly and so like i like how we like to

01:39:29.440 complain about the cost it'll take men to fight for custody but we don't actually care about the

01:39:33.920 cost burden that will land on women in addition to the domestic burden of raising but if it's 50 50

01:39:39.600 custody then he pays for the time with the child and she pays for the time with the child yeah and

01:39:45.600 majority of cases men don't want 50 50. they they don't fight for it because they know they won't get it

01:39:52.720 that's not true because actually statistically when men do fight for it they do get it the

01:39:56.640 majority of the time they get it sometimes i mean i covered a divorce in texas where he spent 2.1

01:40:03.360 million on a divorce and he got for he did get decent custody got 49 of the time but yeah but he spent

01:40:10.560 2.1 million the average guy doesn't have that yeah so that's a luxury for rich men to fight for

01:40:20.320 custody and that's ridiculous in this country that you have a child that doesn't belong to you so it

01:40:24.880 sounds like you have a problem with the legal system so maybe we should address the flaws in

01:40:28.720 the legal system that was designed by men well no because the most recent laws were for women

01:40:36.640 like the violence like the violent the violence against women act was pushed because women wanted

01:40:41.600 that put yep there you go there's one but women abuse that act they oh they call abuse on everything

01:40:47.840 like we call abuse on everything everything okay what do you think of chivalry do you think men

01:40:54.160 should be chivalrous yeah i mean i don't think that it's a requirement i think that chivalry

01:41:00.560 is somewhat of an outdated term and i think that it's going to depend depend on the person um i think

01:41:06.080 that again relationships are complex and not every woman is going to want somebody who caters to them i

01:41:12.560 think that they're going to want somebody who is empathetic and who is caring and who shows

01:41:16.960 compassion and that can take a variety of forms it doesn't have to necessarily be the traditional

01:41:22.640 definition of chivalry so for example do you think women are owed like protection like men should be

01:41:29.440 chivalrous and step in should they open doors should they protect like protect women in public if a

01:41:35.600 woman's getting robbed is it demands duty to step in so protect women from men other women men

01:41:42.320 whoever so again 90 of the violent crime in our country is perpetrated by men so when you say

01:41:47.280 that men should have the responsibility to protect us you're also saying that men should be the

01:41:51.360 solution to the problem that they cause sure i just find that humorous um i think that any decent

01:41:57.840 human being should intervene when they see violence being enacted okay so you do think men

01:42:03.760 owe women protection i think that any decent person who sees a violent act being committed should

01:42:09.600 intervene equality okay so you think women are equally should also intervene yeah okay i think

01:42:16.640 that if you see a violent crime being committed then you should intervene do men have better means to

01:42:22.080 intervene for sure do i think they should be the only ones to intervene no okay holding doors men and

01:42:28.320 women equal i have no opinion i don't really care paying on dates men and women i think men should pay on

01:42:34.560 dates yeah at least the first few okay that's not really equal though well the amount of time and

01:42:40.960 investment that women have to put in um trying to think of what else chivalry proposing men neil

01:42:49.440 um i think that you think of women proposing i don't mind women proposing if they want to you're

01:42:54.400 fine equal yeah okay well i think that's all i got for you today did you have fun sure this was an

01:43:01.760 interesting interview yeah i had a good time okay anything else you want to cover there's anything

01:43:06.880 else you want to add we got through all of it right i think we're good yeah okay well thank you very much

01:43:11.120 for coming on this was fun um you want to tell them your socials when they can your social media where

01:43:17.040 they can find you god yeah so you can find me primarily on tick tock um i'm dr bronte b-r-o-n-t-e like

01:43:23.360 the bronte sisters um and then on instagram i'm at be kind and curious cool and you're welcome

01:43:30.400 to use any of the clips shorts whatever for your social media guys who do you think is right feel

01:43:35.360 free put whatever either or her her stuff my stuff like the video on your way out and subscribe to

01:43:40.960 the channel thank you guys so much for watching and i will talk to you guys next time bye

Pearl - April 30, 2025

Feminists Don’t Need Men Anymore (Full Interview) ｜ The Sitdown

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