00:06:27.300I was just sitting around with nothing to do, going nowhere for a little while.
00:06:31.380and i just made a cranky video on tiktok and it got four million views so i made a career out of
00:06:36.720it no way it was it was a total fluke i was just like i happen to have all the skills to make this
00:06:42.780into a successful career so it was just this 25 year old girl saying men with no hose where are
00:06:49.640you and so i just made her a little chart and showed her where the men with no hose were and
00:06:54.300i said the men you know with hose are up here paying attention to you and all the other hose
00:06:58.420and the men without hoes are down here sending you messages on bumble and not receiving a response
00:07:03.540and it blew up and i yeah made a whole thing out of it wait so what was um how did covid destroy
00:07:09.660your life did you lose your job and like i lost i lost kind of everything i don't i don't want to
00:07:14.400get into like too much detail you know i keep myself secret i don't want to get into too much
00:07:18.200detail about exactly what i was doing but yeah i lost my income i lost my extracurriculars i lost
00:07:23.660my social circle um all of that stress plus the george floyd stuff made my neighborhood a lot
00:07:31.280more dangerous like i was in a really good neighborhood and it suddenly became really bad
00:07:35.060like in one night so a lot of stressful things happened all at once and i kind of just couldn't
00:07:42.060handle it and it spiraled and i did not start spiraling back up for three years after so wow
00:07:48.640I don't know anybody that had the George Floyd stuff like directly affect because I remember when that happened, like I could hear the protests and stuff, but like, yeah, it wasn't.
00:08:00.020So was it like there's rioting in your neighborhood and stuff?
00:08:03.380Well, yeah, there were there was a little bit of opportunistic crime.
00:08:08.400Like I had never seen a crime on my street before, but on that night, all of a sudden, cars were pulling up and trying to break into apartments.
00:08:15.820and uh there was this guy who there was a bunch of people trying to break into one of those we
00:08:21.240buy gold shops and this guy upstairs didn't know they were trying to do that and he thought they
00:08:27.060were trying to go into his apartment so after the cops came and scared them off he went outside
00:08:31.880shirtless with a kitchen knife and just stood there for 15 minutes panting like he was terrified
00:08:36.820and I saw that from across the street so I knew they weren't trying to break into his home but
00:08:42.100he had that experience like he thought that 15 people were trying to break into his home
00:08:46.000so wow it got it got unstable and then after that night all of a sudden all the windows were smashed
00:08:52.840and you know my car wasn't safe and everything like that it was like it just was overnight
00:08:56.980wow were you able to move like or how long did you have to endure that um I tried to put my life
00:09:04.300back together for like almost two years after that I made some uh some changes in everything
00:09:09.860but I was in an area where they had lockdowns for, you know,
00:09:13.220really long time and repeating and everything.
00:09:15.100So they let us out and then I started planning my life again and then they
00:09:19.120just locked us back down. It was like, Oh, again. Yeah. So it was, yeah,
00:09:23.120it was basically two years of no social life, very little dating.
00:09:28.120There was like one girl I met on hinge and she only wanted to come over once
00:09:31.440because she was afraid of getting COVID and killing her parents.
00:46:32.100Yeah, I mean, I know the answer as to why it's, you know, usually it's a guy who knows that he's not ever going to get anyone that good again.
01:37:28.240Because this is one of the greatest things I've ever seen.
01:37:31.200you sum up the struggles of men so well with this can you go over that well i didn't invent
01:37:38.240the concept you know this is something that i saw banging around the internet before i even
01:37:43.480understood it because when i uh you know when online dating started happening i was really
01:37:49.820successful on it and so i was like well i guess that probably is it and i like i guess i'm here
01:37:54.620but um what i did with it and i made a new version too there's going to be a new version with like
01:37:59.940words and it's going to look cleaner what i did with it was i separated it into when society is
01:38:04.820working over here and when it's not and when pro have you seen this it takes a second to delay
01:38:13.820it's hard to explain but it's because okay we have it set up go ahead if he keeps going i'll
01:38:18.880see it in a second oh okay so yeah i'm on a delay so the left side i'll just point to it and stay
01:38:24.000the left side uh that says men and women um over here closer to equal this is when society is
01:38:29.780functioning. And what it shows is that these green lines are long-term stable connections.
01:38:35.700That's the keeper relationship. And in stable societies where people actually hang out with
01:38:42.460each other and get to know each other, people tend to get married to someone on their own level
01:38:47.100and marriages happen a lot. There, of course, because humans are humans, you have these red
01:38:52.380and orange lines, which are the sweeper and sleeper relationships where it's like the orange
01:38:57.160one is an ongoing affair. And the red one is like a one night mistake. And we can never do this
01:39:01.380again. And of course they happen, but also the stable relationships are there. When we do not
01:39:07.000have a society that keeps us interacting with each other in a church or a school or a neighborhood or
01:39:14.400what have you, we move over to the social breakdown one where when women are unfamiliar with men,
01:39:22.380their standards are way way way higher when women know men they get attraction uh proximity attraction
01:39:28.620but with men that they're unfamiliar with they're all very very very picky and where's my where's my
01:39:34.460not people zone where'd he go that's my favorite areas yeah about about 80 to 90 percent of them
01:39:43.900are in the not people zone where they just are like excuse me stop talking to me what is it what
01:39:49.100What do you want? Do you have a, do I need to put my shopping cart back? No.
01:39:52.260Could I have your number? Like, you know, it gets bad.
01:39:56.180So what happens is that now we have TV people staying home,
01:40:02.580cell phones, people are talking remotely. The dating apps,
01:40:06.260they all have 1400 matches in their pocket at all times.
01:40:10.520There's more and more guys in the not people zone.
01:40:13.840And these guys have more and more options.
01:40:15.880Like I remember being this guy for quite a few years and I have memories that are kind of, they're like sad and embarrassing now of meeting someone who was really a reasonable choice and just thinking of her as a, as an option among many.
01:40:33.060And it's like, I could, I might like my, my, my life might've got better, might've gone better if I wasn't able to make that decision, if I didn't have that kind of opportunity.
01:53:25.260Because I think if I got into a fight, I think I would win.
01:53:27.920so i think you've been a good no aren't you like six foot yeah i hope you know i'd prefer to just
01:53:34.980throw hands over the verbal stuff yeah i just yeah you know you should that'd be great get it
01:53:41.440on video no but then they'll just press chart it'll never end i know that you can't you can't
01:53:47.460handle things like a there's just so many living in a nanny state is so disgusting there's so many
01:53:53.300conflicts i've had that should have been solved that way and i just knew i couldn't i just knew
01:53:57.740i had to just go i'm gonna be a bigger man walk away but it doesn't it just doesn't work out like
01:54:02.980it doesn't work well that way there are people who do things that should be taught lessons but
01:54:07.080can't so i guess i have one last question would what is your let's say you have a man who's
01:54:15.54026 years old no let's say he's 28 just graduated law school right so he has undergrad law school
01:54:24.800and he's like, Oh man, help me with my path in life. What should I do? What would you recommend?
01:54:33.300What would be your life advice for him? Well, in this case, what I do is I usually
01:54:38.240hand out a questionnaire. I have a 15 question questionnaire and I ask, where are you from?
01:54:44.480Where'd you grow up? What are your favorite things? Least favorite things? What are the biggest
01:54:48.180good things and bad things that have happened to you in your life recently and ever, et cetera,
01:54:52.120et cetera, et cetera. I have just comprehensive list of questions to get to know who this person
01:54:57.460is and what they want. I have this, um, I'm not sure if you guys are aware, I have this service
01:55:02.840called self max, and I have this map for it right here. And basically it uses AI to guide you
01:55:10.740through, basically you tell the computer what you want, and then it guides you through how you
01:55:16.420should think about it. And then what actions you're taking, what results you get back from it,
01:55:21.620and then how you can learn from them. So it guides you in a cycle. So you keep
01:55:25.620thinking about what you want and trying to go get it, seeing how it works, changing your course.
01:55:32.640And it helps you grow and learn as a person. This is something that I made to go along with
01:55:39.760the life coaching that I used to do. It's kind of replaced the life coaching. I haven't done
01:55:43.340that in a while. I want to, but I haven't done it in a while. So it would be a really,
01:55:48.760really long conversation you so you said he was 26 just got out of law school who wants to know
01:55:53.320what to do 28 28 graduated law school okay and another caveat um he was he was in a college
01:56:02.440town but he's moving to a tier one city so let's say he's moving yeah let's say he's moving to new
01:56:09.480york city so so let's say he went to like a a university of like vermont like a you know a
01:56:16.040a Burlington University of Vermont, kind of Burlington, or, you know, kind of a 50, 60,000
01:56:25.820city that has a major university, and now he's moving to New York City? Okay. I would say the
01:56:32.760first thing that you need to do is get a really good idea of why you're going to New York City
01:56:37.520and what you want to find there. What do you want to come out of your life in the next five years,
01:56:43.700in the next 10 years, in the next 20 years. Um, how much of that do you know, figure that out.
01:56:50.000If you don't know it here, I would, I would, I have an exercise here. I called life storming.
01:56:54.540It's like brainstorming, but for your whole life, I would say, here's an exercise to figure that
01:56:58.760out. Once you know what it is that you're doing, figure out where it's going to come from, uh,
01:57:05.220in the city, or if you have to leave the city, like I lived in New York city, once I had to
01:57:09.240leave pretty quick because I could not find much of the stuff that I wanted there.
01:57:12.580i would imagine yikes yeah so you gotta know if you want to be married if you want to have kids
01:57:21.480if you want to live in the mountains if you want to live in a penthouse like you have to
01:57:24.860know those things as early as possible and of course they can always change but you have to
01:57:30.780know what you're going towards like don't just go to the city and cross your fingers
01:57:34.320that would be my first piece of advice okay that's good advice yeah now would you
01:57:41.800do you ask things in the context of like you need to have definitive answers or do you ask
01:57:48.200yes or no questions to to kind of force him to to to start on that path of making in the session
01:57:55.020i would just like walk them through what is it that you're feeling what is it that you want what's
01:58:00.620getting in your way and and the best way to spend time in a session is i knock those things loose
01:58:05.200so people just are not paying attention to how they're not thinking correctly and i can
01:58:09.100just kind of untwist those wires and then they can go figure out what it is they want in their
01:58:16.600own time but um yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't like sit with somebody until they say what they want
01:58:23.800i would just give them the uh exercises and like do your journaling and make sure you write it down
01:58:29.480make sure that you um know that you want to go towards it make sure that once you try it if you
01:58:35.180don't like it or if it doesn't work you feel comfortable replacing it uh yeah it would be
01:58:40.140more about the structure of it than actually getting to do it in the session yeah that's
01:58:45.300awesome awesome i know that's awesome sorry the mic we had like a rainstorm mid this it was kind
01:58:51.900of muting and unmuting because it's messing with the audio i didn't notice no way yeah cool
01:58:57.740home at thank you i've been a big fan for years when she said that you were coming on the show
01:59:03.020i couldn't wait because you're you found your own lane on youtube your work is fantastic man
01:59:10.060thank you for doing what you're doing thank you appreciate that yeah and you're especially winning
01:59:15.480because your face isn't even out there i know that's awesome i'm loving it see i'm a woman i
01:59:22.720didn't think about the you know doug mpa says to me all the time he's like you know you're really
01:59:27.380you're really brave for putting your face out there and i'm like doug mpa i didn't think about
01:59:30.900it yeah what happens to you what's the worst that you got uh well i was demonetized for a year and
01:59:38.380a half so i was basically unemployed um but why why does it have to do with your face oh you mean
01:59:44.780like um well it's just it would be tough to get another job oh sure yeah because the whale attack
01:59:51.780happened remember yeah oh i forgot that happened yeah the there was a woman who tried to attack me
01:59:59.060the streets um there was i got screamed i get screamed out on occasion but not that's not too
02:00:05.540much um yeah like one time i've gotten a few email threats so i don't know i don't know how much that
02:00:12.340would become real no i met like in public like i was on the street in atlanta and somebody just
02:00:18.100started screaming at me in the middle of the street it was so weird it's fun it's not how
02:00:22.660you want to get recognized well i mean i'd say it's mostly like positive like and if it's negative
02:00:28.980like sometimes there'll be people that'll pretend they're fans and they'll go online and be like i
02:00:33.460saw pearl shoes so this or that you know what i mean but it's not like most people aren't going
02:00:38.180to directly say so but the but it is like if i was to go back into the workforce which i did have to
02:00:47.860think about at one point so yeah you know i was just like the employable thing yeah yeah yeah
02:00:55.140that's so funny i'm just trying to stack enough money so that if i um if i ever have to i can
02:01:00.720just like eat ramen noodles for 20 years yeah get a homestead out in the woods and yeah and cook
02:01:09.100your cans of tuna and your cans of dog food like mad max hobo beans yeah exactly just know the
02:01:16.300guidelines if they gave you a wrap make sure you're working with them to really know the
02:01:20.740guidelines because everyone gave me a rap rap like a rap from youtube sometimes you get a direct
02:01:26.460rap not oh it's like once your account hits a certain point you can directly communicate with
02:01:31.280them okay so yeah i'll have to look into that yeah i haven't gotten any strikes or anything
02:01:35.940though yeah it's you're pretty i i can't foresee that happening to you but yeah you know especially
02:01:42.320with the current administration yeah yeah yeah i'm careful i'm a good boy sometimes most of the
02:01:48.460time well thanks so much for coming on i had so much fun did you have fun yeah yeah i was it was
02:01:56.460really fun talking to you i was i was looking forward to that for i i actually was wondering
02:02:00.820if one day i would talk to pearl before i ever started home math and so i got to it was pretty
02:02:05.700cool yeah uh we do show we do call-in shows so if you ever see a topic and you think it applies
02:02:12.080feel free to call in on any topic we love having all right reoccurring guests so all right yeah
02:02:18.140that sounds great like friday is hiv and herpes so if you know anyone with that call and tell the
02:02:23.480story all right i'll get a panel together we won't ask you how you know just go ahead and share
02:02:31.260stories yeah yeah okay well um where can the people find you and support your work so you
02:02:39.520can find me you can just type in ho e underscore m a t h on any of the social medias that's youtube
02:02:47.580tiktok instagram i am it is ho math on x and um i have a link tree which you can find it's the
02:02:58.140it's the only link i have on any of these it's link ter dot ee slash h o e underscore m a t h
02:03:07.260and i have all kinds of stuff you can buy merch and charts and coffee table book with all my fun
02:03:12.620drawings and the self max service and lots and lots of i'm into lots of stuff and it's all great
02:03:18.300so awesome well thank you so much for coming um thank you for having me everybody make sure you
02:03:24.940go check out his work go don't be cheap go buy a chart or something you know what i mean yeah
02:03:30.700as a thank you for coming um let me see if there's any super chats left just did i miss
02:03:35.820any doug mpa were there more yeah i was dealing with the audio issue for a second well i was like
02:03:41.420do i mute do i not mute yeah there's a couple okay um
02:03:48.300that's not it's not refreshing on this one i don't know why
02:03:53.580oh here we go all right we got oh let me refresh this
02:04:01.660oh here we go okay um if we create greater stigma by showing the successful families i think they'll
02:04:07.980They'll do what they always do, make it a trend and basically make dating average guys fashionable simply to gloat to the single moms with three baby daddies.