Pearl - I Asked Mormons If Their Women Should Obey Their Husbands

00:00:00.000 We believe that what Eve did was actually a brave and necessary choice.

00:00:05.660 And sorry.

00:00:06.900 A brave and necessary to listen to the serpent?

00:00:09.360 No, yes. 1.00

00:00:10.060 Do you think the woman is okay to tell the man to help with chores? 1.00

00:00:13.260 Absolutely. 1.00

00:00:14.180 I believe this church, you guys have multiple wives here?

00:00:17.680 Is that?

00:00:18.180 What's up, guys?

00:00:19.100 Welcome to my YouTube channel today.

00:00:21.080 We are at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,

00:00:26.240 otherwise the Mormon Church,

00:00:27.480 and we're going to ask them what they believe about obedience. 0.78

00:00:30.660 Should Christian, or in this case, Mormon women, obey their husbands?

00:00:34.660 Let's see what these guys have to say. 0.56

00:00:36.460 I personally believe, and probably the scriptures talk about becoming one.

00:00:39.580 And so I think it's when you're married and when you're,

00:00:41.920 you probably are trying to become one.

00:00:43.520 So you're probably looking at a lot of things jointly.

00:00:46.080 Okay, so, but does she obey him?

00:00:48.700 Well, I think that that's like when you're a family and you're like,

00:00:51.600 God has a family, right?

00:00:53.420 And we're all his children.

00:00:54.900 And so if we're all his children, he's trying to teach us to become like him when you're married.

00:00:59.240 I think you've got to do it together.

00:01:01.660 Well, I guess.

00:01:02.460 But at the end of the day, people are going to disagree.

00:01:04.900 I've never met two people in my life.

00:01:06.740 Yeah, yeah.

00:01:07.320 I've never met two men or two women that agree. 0.98

00:01:10.400 Or two anybody.

00:01:11.000 Yeah, that agree on everything.

00:01:12.660 So it's just the question is what happens when they disagree?

00:01:16.000 This could be on anything over in the course of a marriage.

00:01:19.060 Should she obey what he says?

00:01:20.620 Yeah, it's probably the same as any organization or any two people in the world.

00:01:23.800 you've got to come to a common ground and figure it out, right? I don't think so at all, because

00:01:27.240 Trump and Vance, you know, when it comes down to it, Vance does have to take orders from Trump.

00:01:32.100 There is a hierarchy. And I'm just wondering if here you guys believe that there's a hierarchy

00:01:35.740 also. I think that in, like, literally, God says to become one. And so I think you have to figure

00:01:41.180 out how to become one. I think that's the challenge, right? Okay, so would you say they

00:01:44.380 have equal say in decisions? I think for sure you have equal say. But like you said, everybody's

00:01:49.060 different right yeah so what do you think um the women should do if like they what what happens if 0.99

00:01:56.080 they preach something here that the couple disagrees with do you listen to the priest or

00:02:00.860 do you listen to the husband or the wife i want to do a live debate and a meet and greet in your

00:02:05.540 city the problem is i don't have any of your contact information nor do i know what city you

00:02:11.380 guys are in so make sure you fill out the form in the description just click it's a google form

00:02:16.380 the links in the description so we can contact you when we have an event in your city thanks guys

00:02:22.380 yeah i think that's kind of where you're like god has commandments you listen to god and i think if

00:02:26.840 you're all looking towards god then you try to figure it out that's one of the challenges in

00:02:30.380 life right is you everybody's different well i'm just wondering what like the decision making is

00:02:34.660 because um you know i think there's sometimes a challenge where the pre i don't know what they

00:02:40.720 call it here i'm from catholic but like the priest and like bishop or something yeah yeah

00:02:45.580 or for prophet like the prophet like well so the local person would be like a bishop okay and then

00:02:51.460 there's like a prophet that like think about like when christ organized his church there's like 12

00:02:55.420 apostles and he had put peter in charge of the church so that's that similar hierarchy so i'll

00:03:01.340 give you a scenario that i would say is not uncommon in marriages when it comes to disciplining

00:03:05.900 children oftentimes like maybe the husband wants more discipline the wife wants less and you know

00:03:12.660 is it something where you go to vice versa but yeah yeah there's always two sides right yeah

00:03:16.940 but is it something where you go to the bishop and ask like what they what they should do or do

00:03:21.420 you think like they come to a conclusion together yeah i think you got to figure it out together i

00:03:25.320 think that's the challenge in life right is the the commandment has become one and the challenge

00:03:29.580 is how do you do that and so it's every family is a little bit different every every everybody

00:03:34.300 has a different, like you said, everybody's a little bit different. So you just got to figure

00:03:37.760 out how to figure it out together. Um, so how do you guys feel about female led Bible studies here?

00:03:42.880 Female led Bible. So I think it's fantastic. Okay. So you guys are okay with women leading

00:03:46.780 Bible studies for sure. Okay. Um, what? Oh, you guys aren't married? No. 0.98

00:03:57.400 Okay. So you can, I don't know how much more you want from me, but, um,

00:04:00.620 okay but this is cool good job yeah i love that you're doing this thank you i appreciate it yeah

00:04:05.920 yeah so what's your i want to know where your talent channel is i want to go see it now yeah

00:04:09.540 it's um pearl davis on youtube pearl davis yeah cool congratulations and thank you that's awesome

00:04:14.180 that you're doing this thank you what's your name my name is heidi heidi nice to meet you i'm pearl

00:04:19.060 first i just have to ask where did this question come from like it seems interesting to me as

00:04:27.640 somebody who reads the Bible, what inspired you?

00:04:32.400 Maybe there's something on social media I don't know about.

00:04:35.200 Nothing like that.

00:04:37.560 Honestly, I just wanted to know what different churches believe

00:04:40.480 because there seems to be disagreement about the obedience question.

00:04:44.760 And I think there's a lot of people curious.

00:04:47.120 They want to know about different religions.

00:04:49.160 And I try to come at it as I'm not pushing one religion or another.

00:04:53.580 I just want to know what the churches believe.

00:04:55.360 Oh, that's cool.

00:04:55.840 And I love that you're here asking us, because some people don't think our church is Christian, and we are.

00:05:01.600 Yeah, well, we want to hear it from the horse's mouth.

00:05:04.220 Well, we're the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so of course we're Christians.

00:05:07.640 So I love that.

00:05:08.520 I've been married 34 years, and this question made my husband laugh.

00:05:13.140 Does that answer the question for you?

00:05:14.760 Laugh because you don't obey him or you do?

00:05:17.480 Because the idea of a marriage being based on one person obeying the other, that's not a relationship.

00:05:24.780 that's not a partnership and we're definitely partners and i very much feel like um

00:05:30.820 my religious upbringing has taught us like he um that's actually my daughter-in-law's dad

00:05:38.280 that you were talking to okay um and it's like we're we're one and that's what we're trying to

00:05:44.480 become and um i know in the bible that there is phrases where they talk about um in a lot of

00:05:52.660 different scenarios that we need to be more like christ so christ is in charge but he serves

00:05:57.260 and so when you say obey to me that doesn't that's not somebody that's serving somebody

00:06:04.900 they're asking you to obey not like serve well do you think it's wrong like when a boss doesn't

00:06:11.400 um well it's a different dynamic okay so what happens when you guys disagree how do you guys

00:06:18.440 come to a conclusion wouldn't you say one person does have to give it like you know because it's

00:06:23.700 not like I'm looking to see if you're married when we disagree um there's a lot of talking

00:06:30.480 that goes on we we have certain things that we definitely don't see eye to eye on and you have

00:06:37.580 to figure out how to make it work who would you say gets their way more um

00:06:46.000 unfortunately probably me okay and I say would you say he because we should be more equal right

00:06:55.340 in getting our way well as women we're stubborn right I just yes he's probably a little more

00:07:01.780 service oriented maybe than I am sometimes so would you say in a way he's obedient to you

00:07:06.600 absolutely not yeah so you would just say when you disagree well yeah you can disagree and it

00:07:13.300 can be like okay but i don't care as much as you so i'm gonna go ahead and let you um you were

00:07:18.180 talking about raising children earlier and i thought you know there are so many times one

00:07:22.780 thing i loved about my husband and i feel like it has to do with our christian background is that

00:07:28.700 um maybe when i discipline the children different than he would want to

00:07:33.160 um later on we would talk about it but he would 100 support me in the moment right and so we got

00:07:41.260 really good at doing that and would you say you do the same for him like if he disciplines in a way

00:07:45.680 and then you guys fight behind closed doors that's right yeah well or and i went yeah we just it's

00:07:50.120 like hey you know this is what i saw this maybe didn't go so well like what if we did this and

00:07:54.760 what you know so do you guys believe in the natural order of the world so god men women

00:08:00.800 children some churches believe that some don't again no right or wrong um

00:08:05.600 no no I I I don't speak doctrinally for my church I can just speak as a member of my church

00:08:15.800 and I don't I I'm somebody who's in leadership and so um I do a lot with the women I work a lot

00:08:26.460 with the men and um I you'd say the majority of people don't follow or believe that okay I would

00:08:33.680 say yeah i would say yeah and if you want to hear great things um listen to some of the general

00:08:39.960 conference messages that are like every six months the leaders of our church speak and they

00:08:45.420 have some wonderful messages on families in fact we have a proclamation about the family have you

00:08:50.080 read that so you might want to look that one up okay because it literally talks about people

00:08:55.120 husband and wives um if you go to church of jesus christ.org we can probably cut it in yeah yeah

00:09:02.160 Yeah, you can look up the proclamation of the family, and it makes it really quite clear what we feel about it.

00:09:09.560 In fact, you're going to read that and go, oh, okay.

00:09:12.180 Oh, sorry.

00:09:12.800 It's okay.

00:09:13.520 No, it's okay.

00:09:13.960 It'll answer your question.

00:09:15.100 So that one's a good one. 1.00

00:09:15.980 What do you think makes a good wife as somebody that's been married?

00:09:18.840 You said 34 years?

00:09:19.720 34 years, yeah.

00:09:20.420 Wow, okay. 1.00

00:09:20.860 What do you think makes a good wife? 0.99

00:09:22.120 Like if you were, a young woman comes to the church, she says, I want to get married. 0.97

00:09:26.540 What would you tell her to do to be prepared and ready to get married? 0.94

00:09:31.000 Well. 0.99

00:09:31.320 And would you tell her to marry young or wait until she's a little more mature?

00:09:37.040 I would say it always matters who you're marrying.

00:09:41.700 Yeah.

00:09:42.260 So you say get married young.

00:09:43.440 I mean, I did.

00:09:44.220 I got married at 20.

00:09:45.340 Oh, wow.

00:09:45.780 And I never saw that one coming.

00:09:47.380 So that I met the right person at the right time.

00:09:52.700 What have you learned, I guess, from being a wife 34 years that you could?

00:09:56.340 like you it's the greatest chance to learn how to be unselfish so if you go into it thinking this

00:10:10.400 is all for me then you probably have the wrong attitude and my upbringing of practicing christ

00:10:18.200 like principles helped me do that because i was used to trying to be kind when people were not

00:10:25.740 trying to get along maybe when you're not and when you have two people that are both working

00:10:31.880 together it makes a great marriage can you give me a little bit more specific uh like like what

00:10:38.060 day today can we like every single day you wake up what's something you do to be unselfish i start

00:10:44.220 by saying my prayers and reading my scriptures and so that i'm in tune with the lord so what so i'm

00:10:50.420 In tune with the Lord, because if I have his spirit, I'm going to be more likely to be a better person and be kinder.

00:10:58.480 Well, and then how do you apply that, like in your marriage, so with your husband?

00:11:02.300 Then I don't always think, like, if there is a disagreement, it's not, this is what I want.

00:11:09.560 I think of it from the perspective of what's the best for this situation, and maybe I'm wrong.

00:11:15.860 And so does he.

00:11:17.340 Yeah, so that was my next question.

00:11:18.740 What do you think makes a good husband?

00:11:20.420 Um, the same thing. My husband's been a great husband. He, uh, does, he serves me a lot

00:11:27.340 and I try to serve him. I think when we were getting married, somebody said like, you know,

00:11:31.700 you both need to give a hundred percent to the other person. And I think that's a good one.

00:11:37.580 So do you guys, I believe this church, you guys have multiple wives here. Is that, is that common?

00:11:43.400 It's okay.

00:11:44.240 You mean back in 1850 they did?

00:11:48.780 So this is...

00:11:50.180 Oh, they don't do that anymore?

00:11:51.140 No, no.

00:11:52.220 Do they in more, like, strict sex?

00:11:55.640 I don't know.

00:11:57.020 Our church definitely, just kind of like the Catholic church, had people who broke off from it.

00:12:01.700 Yeah.

00:12:01.900 You wouldn't be asking the people that broke off, or the Catholics, if they represented their church because they broke off from it.

00:12:08.660 Okay.

00:12:08.880 So sure, you do have people who broke off from our church and decided to do things.

00:12:13.060 But I think, I can't remember the exact date, but I think polygamy was outlawed by the Lord in like 1900 or 1898 or something like that.

00:12:23.440 So that's, you know, 130 plus years ago.

00:12:27.660 Do you think that truth stands the test of time?

00:12:33.040 Absolutely. Yeah.

00:12:37.040 What would you want people at home to know about this church or this religion?

00:12:43.060 what I would want people to know is Jesus.

00:12:50.460 I know that's,

00:12:51.660 um,

00:12:52.660 you can go on.

00:12:53.360 My church does a great job of making sure you can go online and look up and

00:12:57.300 find out all kinds of information about us.

00:13:00.060 But,

00:13:00.700 um,

00:13:01.180 we believe in families being united for eternity and sealed together.

00:13:07.840 And we,

00:13:08.200 we,

00:13:08.840 um,

00:13:09.700 believe that Christ died for us and made,

00:13:13.060 everything possible so i you know christ so what are the common misconception oh you gotta go i

00:13:20.020 gotta go okay thank you so much really appreciate it yeah very cute though hi i'm pearl nice to

00:13:26.940 meet you so i go to different churches and ask what they believe about obedience no right or

00:13:31.380 wrong answers um but i'd love to get your thoughts on what you guys believe here yeah that if women

00:13:35.980 should obey their husbands and no right or wrong answers tell us yes why or why not yeah uh no and

00:13:42.040 And I think the nature of the question is to admit, like, you know, you'd expect a Christian to be like, oh, yeah, but or at least like today's Christians, a lot of them, at least the loud ones you hear. 0.75

00:13:56.240 But no, I think in our church, at least this is our belief.

00:14:01.860 Now, I'm speaking as a member, so I can't speak for everybody, but no, it's an equal partnership.

00:14:06.700 Um, a lot of what we believe is that, um, a marriage is meant to make both of you better.

00:14:14.280 Um, and it's not meant for one to be domineering or, or, uh, wants it to be submissive to the

00:14:20.480 other.

00:14:20.800 I think it's, um, you know, it's, it's an equal partnership.

00:14:25.100 Well, I mean, for my marriage, you know, I, it's not like whatever I say goes or whatever

00:14:30.060 my wife says goes.

00:14:31.120 I mean, she's right a lot, but, um, I think it's just, you work together.

00:14:36.700 and you try your best to agree on things.

00:14:41.460 And I think that's a lot of what our church teaches,

00:14:43.840 is, you know, you guys are working together.

00:14:48.500 Like, it's not being submissive.

00:14:51.800 And the one thing our church has struggled with

00:14:54.920 is the idea of the priesthood,

00:14:56.600 and sometimes that has been used as a means

00:14:58.620 to kind of force a kind of sexist, you know, misogynist view on things.

00:15:09.860 But I don't think that, like, if you really dig deep in our doctrine,

00:15:12.840 that doesn't really have a lot of basis.

00:15:14.660 Who is responsible for protecting the family?

00:15:18.440 Protecting the family?

00:15:20.340 I don't know if that's necessarily, like, I don't know.

00:15:25.160 I'm trying to think of, like, our doctrine.

00:15:26.360 And I mean, traditionally, I guess the man, but I don't like it's up to both people.

00:15:33.720 Like if my if there's an intruder and I'm dead or something, it's not like my wife's going to be like, hey, my husband's dead.

00:15:40.520 I can't protect the family because it's not my job.

00:15:42.260 You know, like I don't I don't really believe in that.

00:15:44.520 I think like now we have guns so they can both do it.

00:15:47.480 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:15:49.860 So what about providing? Do you guys believe that it's the man's duty to provide or it should be both of them?

00:15:54.660 Um, no, I, I, it's, I, I don't believe that I, I will, like, I'm pretty progressive.

00:16:02.180 Um, but I, you know, ask 10 other people in our church, you might get different answers,

00:16:06.680 but I think for most people, no, like, I don't think it's necessarily like the man's duty

00:16:11.620 to provide.

00:16:12.600 I think one, at least one needs to provide someone needs to pick up, like the family's

00:16:16.700 got to eat.

00:16:17.080 So someone's got to do it.

00:16:17.920 I don't think it necessarily needs to be the man.

00:16:19.880 Um, don't you think in a relationship though, one person's always obeying the other, uh,

00:16:24.400 Because generally speaking, you know, there's a reason we have phrases like she wears the pants or he wears the pants because one person does have to give in more than the other.

00:16:34.860 Yeah. Would you agree with that or disagree?

00:16:36.340 I think that tends to happen. I think when you have two people, one tends to be more domineering than the other.

00:16:43.020 I think that shouldn't be the case if it is.

00:16:46.560 I think you both should work to a place where you're both being open and not, you know, I just I don't really believe in that dynamic.

00:16:57.280 I don't think it should be strive for. It may happen, but I think you both should be open.

00:17:01.800 I've just never seen a couple that where one person doesn't, you know, have more authority. You don't agree?

00:17:06.840 No, I'm saying in practice, yes, that happens all the time.

00:17:09.760 Um, and sometimes like it may be a necessity if, if, if mom is at working a lot or, or

00:17:15.740 dad is at working a lot, um, you know, the, the, the parent that is home may need to be

00:17:21.940 more domineering just to handle on the kids.

00:17:24.360 Um, and I think that definitely shakes out, but I don't think it's, it's an ideal.

00:17:28.280 Like I think both people should be open.

00:17:29.940 So in your relationship, um, is there one of you that makes more decisions than the

00:17:33.560 other?

00:17:33.880 Would you say it's equal?

00:17:34.640 um i it i'm i'm probably idealizing our relationship but yeah maybe like you could 0.97

00:17:41.540 give me specifics like finances you make okay here's how here's how me and my wife split it

00:17:46.040 i handle finances um so i i work full-time she's a stay-at-home mom i also work from home which

00:17:50.680 helps i handle finances uh she handles a lot of like the meal planning i still cook but like she

00:17:56.400 does meal planning and a lot of just like trip planning and stuff um i handle like housework

00:18:01.580 backyard work um car stuff like i'll do our oil changes and all that um uh you know we both kind

00:18:08.740 of equally parent she's obviously a state-of-home mom so time spent is more her um but i'm still

00:18:14.380 very like present and active so um yeah we kind of split up and if you told her no on something

00:18:20.380 would she listen and vice versa like if um yeah um she definitely would there's some things that

00:18:25.460 i'm like she would she would listen but be like this is kind of dumb but like it's okay

00:18:31.040 Reluctantly.

00:18:31.580 Yeah, reluctantly, sure.

00:18:32.620 And I've done the same.

00:18:34.060 But, yeah, I'd say so.

00:18:36.000 How do you guys feel about female-led Bible studies here? 0.99

00:18:38.620 Are those okay? 0.99

00:18:39.620 Yeah, we actually...

00:18:41.000 We go to different churches.

00:18:42.320 No, you're good.

00:18:43.140 No, we actually have, like, one of our classes that we do every week.

00:18:47.840 It's called Relief Society.

00:18:49.760 And it's women-led. 0.87

00:18:50.700 It's all women. 1.00

00:18:52.580 And women, actually, they just changed a rule that women can be the... 1.00

00:18:56.760 It's called the Sunday school president. 1.00

00:18:57.900 which basically means they can lead as there could be female leaders of like the teaching kind of callings in our church. 0.77

00:19:06.440 So like they can kind of organize how do we teach in our church? 1.00

00:19:09.580 How do we like how do we organize classes?

00:19:14.760 What do we like? What kind of lessons do we do?

00:19:16.320 So stuff like that.

00:19:17.220 What would you say are the biggest misconceptions about this church?

00:19:20.240 Oh, misconceptions.

00:19:22.400 It's a really good one.

00:19:24.060 I think we get labeled a cult a lot.

00:19:27.900 Um, and I think pretty much all religions, if you widen your scope enough, can be called

00:19:32.800 a cult.

00:19:33.540 Um, but like people are free to leave.

00:19:36.160 Uh, everything's obligatory.

00:19:37.780 Yeah.

00:19:37.900 There's some social pressures that have to do with it, but it's like, if I leave tomorrow

00:19:42.040 or today, I'm not going to get like threatened and there's no, and we don't really like worship

00:19:46.500 a person other than Jesus.

00:19:48.060 Like people think we worship Joseph Smith.

00:19:50.220 That's another big misconception, but we don't.

00:19:52.420 And we've definitely tried to steer away from that because it's like, he's a prophet, but

00:19:56.360 he's also a flawed person in our eyes um you know like he's not perfect none of our prophets are

00:20:00.800 perfect um so yeah do you guys believe in the natural order of the world god men women children

00:20:07.220 are you a more egalitarian egalitarian for sure i mean god above everything else right i don't

00:20:12.240 think we're on equal plane with god um but no um i think one of the uh people use like the adam and

00:20:18.620 eve story um a lot one of the things in our church that we believe is that it's not it's not that eve

00:20:25.320 made a mistake

00:20:27.020 and caused the fall of Adam.

00:20:29.100 A lot of 0.81

00:20:29.860 Christian sexism is rooted in that. 0.80

00:20:34.280 But rather, we believe

00:20:35.580 that what Eve did

00:20:37.460 was actually a brave and necessary choice.

00:20:40.880 Sorry.

00:20:41.840 To listen to the serpent?

00:20:44.380 Yeah.

00:20:45.160 To make a decision to actually

00:20:47.200 say, hey,

00:20:48.780 if we want to multiply

00:20:50.700 and replenish,

00:20:51.500 no true happiness and wisdom,

00:20:54.400 we need to partake of the fruit of knowledge

00:20:58.400 and it's complicated because

00:21:01.160 again, I'm not speaking doctrine

00:21:03.520 but this is a lot of what some of our members believe

00:21:07.520 is that Eve made that decision

00:21:11.120 because it was necessary

00:21:13.760 and there's a difference between a sin and disobedience

00:21:17.160 God commanded it

00:21:19.560 but I think

00:21:20.340 it's just complicated

00:21:23.900 I think part of it was necessary

00:21:25.800 I think it was intended

00:21:26.680 Because otherwise we couldn't have all of this

00:21:28.600 It's a complicated, messy world

00:21:30.360 Wasn't it better before?

00:21:33.740 Well, I mean, think about

00:21:34.820 Have you ever had a vacation that went a little too long?

00:21:39.260 You know, like a week

00:21:40.200 And you're saying, you know what?

00:21:41.460 I want to go back to work

00:21:42.720 So you view it that it was a vacation before

00:21:45.080 And then Eve didn't listen and that was good?

00:21:47.940 Yeah, I think it introduced struggle

00:21:49.480 Happiness forever

00:21:51.020 If you're just happy all the time

00:21:52.980 There's not really a difference

00:21:53.820 and I think

00:21:56.380 yeah it was like idyllic

00:21:57.900 and great but after a certain

00:22:00.180 point I think

00:22:02.240 it probably would have gotten boring

00:22:03.160 and so we have all this struggle in life

00:22:05.960 but it's beautiful right like it's

00:22:07.820 hard like we have really hard times and hard days

00:22:10.220 there's death there's pain but it's still

00:22:12.220 fulfilling you know how do you guys handle

00:22:14.140 divorce here like if a couple gets divorced

00:22:16.300 are they welcome back in

00:22:18.260 oh yeah absolutely I mean

00:22:19.720 my mother-in-law is divorced twice actually

00:22:21.920 and she's the relief society president

00:22:23.680 so yeah um no we uh i don't think for a long long time there's been any kind of

00:22:29.480 like we're pretty strong about like if you have a marriage you have to try really hard to work it

00:22:34.040 out right there's there's a short list of things that would cause a marriage to be what if someone's

00:22:38.200 like super crazy can they yeah i mean like if your family's in danger you're in danger you're

00:22:43.220 supremely not danger just like super crazy yeah like it's complicated if there's kids crashing

00:22:48.000 out daily yeah we've all i'm sure you've dated a girl like that before you sure but um like imagine

00:22:53.620 you're with the crazy woman can you go yeah no i think it's it's it's between you and god i don't

00:22:58.800 there's not a rule book to be like hey they have to either commit adultery or or do something like 0.98

00:23:03.200 it's up to you like you pray with the spirit you figure it out um and and it's up to you but no

00:23:09.580 you're not ostrich like we're not no one of the church is nitpicking why someone got divorced

00:23:12.940 and being like you can't come back you know um so i'm kind of curious would a member of clergy

00:23:18.820 ever like testify in a family court if they felt like um like one of the parties didn't mean it or

00:23:26.560 like would that ever happen here i don't think so um i guess it depends like if if if a member of

00:23:32.520 the clergy like let's say our bishop right he's the he's the leader of our these individual

00:23:36.760 buildings um let's say a woman like a man cheated on his wife and the woman confided in the bishop

00:23:44.520 and say, hey, bishop, I need your help testifying in court for stuff with my kids.

00:23:49.340 I think that, I don't know what the precedent is,

00:23:52.080 but I'm sure, like, the bishop could in those instances, like, help, you know,

00:23:57.140 the bishop's meant to help families, so you don't have to exercise discretion.

00:24:01.120 What is responsibility without authority?

00:24:04.440 Responsibility without authority?

00:24:07.480 I don't know.

00:24:09.600 Like, if you're responsible for someone, but you have no authority over them?

00:24:12.640 i don't know i think that's just i guess being a good neighbor like uh you know i'm not i'm not

00:24:20.540 responsible for like i don't have authority over my neighbor's health but if i start like dumping

00:24:27.640 toxic waste in my backyard and it gets into his and makes him sick i'm still responsible for that

00:24:32.800 like so i don't know um i just it's it's being a good neighbor yeah that's how i put it hello sir

00:24:42.580 what's your name my name is doug i'm pearl nice to meet you

00:24:49.220 how are you okay are you british south african oh no way yeah oh cool um so today we go to

00:24:58.120 different churches and we ask what their opinions are on obedience there's no right or wrong answers

00:25:02.820 no gotcha we're just trying to figure out what people believe here okay so um do you guys believe

00:25:07.500 that christian women should obey their husbands if yes tell us why if no tell us why not okay so

00:25:13.060 our belief is pretty much based on the interpretation in the bible which is that women should be

00:25:19.360 obedient to their husbands but there's a condition okay and the condition is as long as their husbands

00:25:24.620 serve god admirably and are righteous then the woman should be obedient to their husband and only

00:25:31.440 when they are giving instructions that are in line with what God would have them do. 0.71

00:25:38.420 And so as long as he does that, he gets obedience,

00:25:40.820 or he should ideally get obedience from as well.

00:25:43.360 Yeah, so it's not more, I think it's more of a natural progression.

00:25:49.120 When a faithful woman sees a man who's faithfully trying to follow God

00:25:53.800 and to improve his life, I think she's drawn to that.

00:25:58.220 and she feels comfortable with following his leadership in the family.

00:26:04.640 Not out of obedience as such, but more out of a willingness to draw closer to her husband

00:26:11.380 in the relationship between the husband and the wife and God.

00:26:14.840 Do you think it's her job to decide if he's following God?

00:26:19.040 Because couldn't that be a little tricky?

00:26:20.680 It could be tricky, but I think that's right.

00:26:23.320 I think it is her job to decide if he's following God or not.

00:26:26.940 And she should use the scriptures, the Bible, as the foundation to make that decision

00:26:32.980 and to determine whether or not he's living his life in a way that, in her perspective, Jesus would accept.

00:26:41.220 So what do you guys do if the, do you call it priests here, bishops?

00:26:46.540 What's your authority figure called?

00:26:48.040 So, yeah, we believe in the priesthood.

00:26:50.040 It's pretty much similar to the way the structure is in the Bible.

00:26:53.380 We have a bishop who's in charge of the local congregation.

00:26:56.100 and then we have everybody else in the all the men in the church who are found to be worthy are

00:27:03.200 called to the office of a priest in the priesthood so what what do you guys do if the priest and the

00:27:09.480 man disagree so what should she do if she thinks that um he thinks he's following the bible the

00:27:17.400 bishop says no but both we both know people are flawed so how should she come to a decision

00:27:22.540 well that's tricky i guess it is it is tricky i try to get stuff that makes people think you know

00:27:29.720 excellent so i think from my perspective is that

00:27:34.960 very seldom will the the woman who is honestly seeking the interpretation and the perspective

00:27:46.960 of Heavenly Father based on the scriptures, 0.72

00:27:50.020 very seldom will her interpretation of what is right and what is wrong

00:27:53.860 differ from the bishop's interpretation.

00:27:57.440 Are you sure?

00:27:59.080 Very seldom.

00:28:00.400 It can happen.

00:28:01.280 It can happen.

00:28:02.040 Absolutely, it can happen.

00:28:03.920 But I think, you know, one of the key things that we can do as Christians

00:28:08.340 is remember that when we follow Jesus Christ,

00:28:13.340 we don't follow blindly.

00:28:16.960 Jesus never expected us to be absolute blind followers, okay?

00:28:21.960 He taught, when he taught his disciples and the people, he taught in parables.

00:28:28.020 Parables have multiple levels of understanding.

00:28:31.900 If he just had, if he just wanted them to be blindly obedient,

00:28:36.040 he would have left the Ten Commandments in place the way they were.

00:28:39.300 So he wanted people to learn at their own pace, to learn with their own understanding,

00:28:44.120 and to understand the gospel in a way that is appropriate for them at their time in their lives.

00:28:51.400 And that's different for everybody.

00:28:53.060 And so we will find that sometimes a church leader, a bishop or somebody like that

00:28:57.700 might have a deeper or even a different understanding to an ordinary member of the church

00:29:03.940 or to any ordinary person out there.

00:29:06.980 And so it's difficult to say that they will always agree.

00:29:11.320 but in general, if they're honestly at heart

00:29:14.360 trying to follow the admonition of Jesus Christ

00:29:19.200 to grow closer to God

00:29:21.840 through our devotion to God

00:29:24.500 and through our service in church

00:29:26.060 and our fellow men

00:29:27.780 then inevitably what will happen

00:29:31.980 is those ideals will start merging together

00:29:35.420 and they will become one over time

00:29:38.680 And so the understanding will be the same from almost any perspective.

00:29:43.840 What makes a good husband?

00:29:48.920 Wow.

00:29:50.880 A good husband, from my perspective, would be somebody who, 0.97

00:29:57.840 I guess as the scriptures say, leaves his family and cleaves unto his wife,

00:30:03.980 and they too become one.

00:30:05.400 so a good husband is somebody who understands that relationship

00:30:09.880 of course God is the third party to that relationship

00:30:12.860 but he takes that new family unit

00:30:18.320 and it becomes the primary focus of his existence

00:30:22.420 and he spends his time and his efforts

00:30:28.120 in making sure that that new family unit grows

00:30:33.080 and becomes something wonderful what makes a good wife exactly the same thing no difference 1.00

00:30:42.220 whatsoever the two of them become partners in this new relationship this new family unit and

00:30:50.980 as long as both of them have an understanding and a desire to to learn of God to understand

00:31:00.280 God's will for them and to follow a path that will allow them to achieve God's ultimate purpose

00:31:08.920 for them, they will become good for each other. And they'll be prime examples of what a good

00:31:14.740 husband and a good wife are. If the woman is ideally obedient to the man, does that mean 0.92

00:31:19.360 the man gets to decide how many kids the family has? No, absolutely not. So obedience to the 0.90

00:31:26.940 husband is only, in my opinion, only predicated on his obedience to God. And so as God

00:31:39.820 gives instruction to the man, he passes that instruction on to the woman and she is bound,

00:31:50.860 as he is, to be bound, as he's bound to be obedient to God, she is equally bound to be

00:31:55.920 obedient to his instruction. And it's more a case of how information is disseminated from God to

00:32:02.820 human beings than it is about a position in any line of hierarchy. So when it comes to a decision

00:32:10.180 like how many children should we have, that's ultimately purely up to that new family unit

00:32:15.800 in partnership and equal partnership between the husband and wife. Right, but women only ovulate 1.00

00:32:21.920 a few days a month so you can family plan you know to some degree and so if he says i want to 1.00

00:32:28.900 have sex uh while you're ovulating because i want more kids and you know is she like should she be

00:32:35.320 obedient to that you know does he get to decide that no he doesn't get to decide that not on his 0.97

00:32:41.120 own every every decision is an equal partnership an equal decision between the husband and the wife

00:32:47.960 It's a new partnership between each other and Heavenly Father. 0.90

00:32:53.720 Do you think the woman is okay to tell the man to help with chores? 1.00

00:32:57.420 Absolutely. 0.66

00:32:59.120 Equal partnership means equal partnership.

00:33:02.320 I have some great friends who...

00:33:05.120 I thought you started by saying obedient, like she should be obedient to her husband.

00:33:09.500 Exactly.

00:33:10.660 Isn't that contradictory, an equal partnership and obedience?

00:33:14.100 No, not at all. Not at all.

00:33:16.360 Obedience is following an instruction when it's given.

00:33:24.340 But only when that instruction is righteous and is appropriate,

00:33:29.700 then it's appropriate to be obedient.

00:33:32.820 Yeah, but we're talking about chores.

00:33:34.160 It's not like that's, you know. 0.97

00:33:35.940 Well, how can a husband make a demand of a woman to do chores? 0.80

00:33:46.180 There's nowhere really that that's set in precedent.

00:33:50.160 I mean, if anything.

00:33:51.280 Yeah, I don't think so. 0.93

00:33:52.720 I think the Bible says that we have our place and husbands have a responsibility, wives have a responsibility.

00:33:58.900 But nowhere does it say that the one can't help the other one in that responsibility.

00:34:04.200 I mean, today we have women who go out and work to help the man in his responsibility to provide for the family.

00:34:09.620 And equally so, the man should be helping the woman in her responsibility.

00:34:13.480 Well, I'm more asking because if she's nagging him about chores, she's not really...

00:34:17.140 Like, you would never tell your boss what to do.

00:34:19.400 Like, why is it okay to tell your husband what to do?

00:34:24.080 Well, the relationship between you and your boss is more of a hierarchical relationship.

00:34:29.720 Okay. And so you're saying it's more egalitarian.

00:34:32.080 I thought based on your first answer, you were saying she should obey.

00:34:36.000 No, no.

00:34:36.420 That's okay.

00:34:37.060 Maybe I'm misunderstanding.

00:34:38.120 No, no.

00:34:38.620 So it's only when, when God gives us instruction to, sorry, it's only when God gives us instruction

00:34:46.040 to follow a specific path.

00:34:49.100 And then if he gives us as men, that instruction, as the leaders of the home, he gives us that

00:34:57.220 instruction.

00:34:58.260 We pass that instruction onto our families.

00:35:01.400 And in the family unit, they're bound to be obedient to that,

00:35:06.840 as we are showing and demonstrating obedience to the instruction that came from God.

00:35:10.640 Could you give me a few examples, just to be clear?

00:35:13.640 Well, the first one that we spoke about,

00:35:15.820 the man's responsibility and instruction to take care of and provide for the family.

00:35:20.420 Okay.

00:35:22.060 And...

00:35:22.460 What I'm saying, what does he get authority over if he has the responsibility?

00:35:27.220 So...

00:35:27.660 like what does he have the authority to tell her to do so authority is a whole different word okay

00:35:34.280 okay authority is something that is um how do we how do we put it uh like my boss has authority

00:35:46.240 i don't have a boss but if i did right so your boss has authority i have authority to fire you

00:35:51.460 You know, or like to hire and fire.

00:35:53.080 That's authority, right?

00:35:53.860 So your boss has authority over you to a degree because he pays a salary.

00:36:00.080 Correct, yeah.

00:36:00.660 So there's like an authoritarian relationship between the two of you.

00:36:09.060 But God doesn't work that way.

00:36:10.620 He gives us the opportunity to submit ourselves to Him.

00:36:15.280 And by definition, then, He is the authority because of our submission to Him.

00:36:19.800 And we do that because we love him and because we trust him and because we believe that he has our best interests at heart.

00:36:28.160 A woman who submits herself to her husband and accepts the authority of the husband does so when he has her best interests at heart.

00:36:40.200 and he and his plan for her is to help her to achieve in the family unit we believe the

00:36:49.040 opportunity to return into god's presence again and so in that context then he has authority over

00:36:57.300 her but not to determine exactly what she can or can't do okay it's more a case of

00:37:04.500 of his responsibility to guide the family in their progression

00:37:11.640 back to live with Heavenly Father.

00:37:13.360 And as long as she accompanies him, she submits to that authority.

00:37:17.900 Yeah, I'm just a little confused because it just sounds like

00:37:20.600 he has all the responsibility, but it doesn't sound like he has authority in this.

00:37:25.380 Am I misunderstanding something?

00:37:27.100 So in one of our scriptures that we espouse in the church,

00:37:33.120 there's a scripture that says we have learned by i'm paraphrasing okay we have we have learned by

00:37:39.880 sad authority that immediate i mean by we have learned by sad experience that a man as soon as

00:37:44.860 he receives what he perceives to be even the smallest amount of authority he begins to exercise

00:37:52.360 unrighteous dominion no way okay okay and so one of the principles and the scripture goes on to say

00:38:01.580 that it's important for men to understand this principle

00:38:04.680 and to understand that authority is really God's.

00:38:09.360 He can give us some degree of authority,

00:38:13.940 but within specific bounds.

00:38:16.220 And those bounds only remain in effect

00:38:19.940 as long as that authority is exercised

00:38:22.520 through long-suffering, kindness, meekness,

00:38:26.300 love unfeigned and obedience to god's law and so but i'm saying if he's obedient to god's law

00:38:35.840 like what authority does he have to like tell her what to do so i mentioned in the beginning that we

00:38:41.540 have something called the priesthood okay in in the church we recognize the priesthood and the

00:38:45.920 priesthood is a line of authority or a organization in which god allows his presence and his

00:38:54.540 organization to be established on earth okay and so when we talk about that authority we begin to

00:39:03.220 understand that authority is more um a function of leadership right than it is of control well

00:39:14.260 it's a leader that you want to control right yeah like we said yeah you submit yourself to that

00:39:19.240 leader and by virtue of you submitting yourself to that leader you agree to abide by their authority

00:39:25.920 by their guidance right but that guidance has to be guided by strict controls yeah but he has a

00:39:33.500 vested interest in like the family doing well doesn't he absolutely yeah so i'm saying like

00:39:38.280 what's wrong with him giving orders like why is that a bad thing because the family unit

00:39:43.420 functions better when the husband

00:39:46.140 and the wife work together

00:39:47.260 in partnership. Yes, we recognize

00:39:50.000 and in the church, women can't 1.00

00:39:51.820 in our church, women can't hold that 1.00

00:39:54.040 priesthood. Oh, thank God. 1.00

00:39:57.380 It starts

00:39:58.300 spending all the church funds on Amazon

00:40:00.160 you know what I mean? 1.00

00:40:01.800 It's reserved for the men 0.99

00:40:03.840 and it becomes their responsibility 0.99

00:40:05.700 and as long as they exercise that

00:40:08.000 responsibility

00:40:08.600 appropriately, then

00:40:11.920 things work well.

00:40:13.420 And if they begin to exercise that under-righteous dominion, things start to fall apart.

00:40:19.560 Who gets to decide if he's being righteous or not?

00:40:24.220 We always look back to the guidance of the scriptures, to the Bible, the scriptures,

00:40:30.660 and the other scriptures that we believe in in the church.

00:40:33.560 We look to the words of the prophets to determine whether or not we're in line with what we should be doing.

00:40:40.260 got it cool thank you so much you're great thanks take care I was demonetized for two years on

00:40:48.280 YouTube for doing these kind of interviews I never know when my last day on YouTube will be

00:40:52.620 so if you can go to the audacity network.com and make a donation to the channel thanks for

00:40:57.720 watching like the video and I'll see you next time

Pearl - June 25, 2026

I Asked Mormons If Their Women Should Obey Their Husbands

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