Pearl - June 25, 2026I Asked Mormons If Their Women Should Obey Their Husbands
Episode Stats
Harmful content
Misogyny
19
sentences flagged
Toxicity
2
sentences flagged
Hate speech
32
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, we are at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, otherwise known as The Mormon Church, and we asked them what they believe about obedience. Should women obey their husbands? Is it okay for a woman to tell her husband to do something, and should she obey her husband?
Transcript
00:00:00.000
We believe that what Eve did was actually a brave and necessary choice.
00:00:06.900
A brave and necessary to listen to the serpent?
00:00:10.060
Do you think the woman is okay to tell the man to help with chores?
1.00
00:00:14.180
I believe this church, you guys have multiple wives here?
00:00:21.080
We are at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,
00:00:27.480
and we're going to ask them what they believe about obedience.
0.78
00:00:30.660
Should Christian, or in this case, Mormon women, obey their husbands?
00:00:36.460
I personally believe, and probably the scriptures talk about becoming one.
00:00:39.580
And so I think it's when you're married and when you're,
00:00:43.520
So you're probably looking at a lot of things jointly.
00:00:48.700
Well, I think that that's like when you're a family and you're like,
00:00:54.900
And so if we're all his children, he's trying to teach us to become like him when you're married.
00:01:02.460
But at the end of the day, people are going to disagree.
00:01:07.320
I've never met two men or two women that agree.
0.98
00:01:12.660
So it's just the question is what happens when they disagree?
00:01:16.000
This could be on anything over in the course of a marriage.
00:01:20.620
Yeah, it's probably the same as any organization or any two people in the world.
00:01:23.800
you've got to come to a common ground and figure it out, right? I don't think so at all, because
00:01:27.240
Trump and Vance, you know, when it comes down to it, Vance does have to take orders from Trump.
00:01:32.100
There is a hierarchy. And I'm just wondering if here you guys believe that there's a hierarchy
00:01:35.740
also. I think that in, like, literally, God says to become one. And so I think you have to figure
00:01:41.180
out how to become one. I think that's the challenge, right? Okay, so would you say they
00:01:44.380
have equal say in decisions? I think for sure you have equal say. But like you said, everybody's
00:01:49.060
different right yeah so what do you think um the women should do if like they what what happens if
0.99
00:01:56.080
they preach something here that the couple disagrees with do you listen to the priest or
00:02:00.860
do you listen to the husband or the wife i want to do a live debate and a meet and greet in your
00:02:05.540
city the problem is i don't have any of your contact information nor do i know what city you
00:02:11.380
guys are in so make sure you fill out the form in the description just click it's a google form
00:02:16.380
the links in the description so we can contact you when we have an event in your city thanks guys
00:02:22.380
yeah i think that's kind of where you're like god has commandments you listen to god and i think if
00:02:26.840
you're all looking towards god then you try to figure it out that's one of the challenges in
00:02:30.380
life right is you everybody's different well i'm just wondering what like the decision making is
00:02:34.660
because um you know i think there's sometimes a challenge where the pre i don't know what they
00:02:40.720
call it here i'm from catholic but like the priest and like bishop or something yeah yeah
00:02:45.580
or for prophet like the prophet like well so the local person would be like a bishop okay and then
00:02:51.460
there's like a prophet that like think about like when christ organized his church there's like 12
00:02:55.420
apostles and he had put peter in charge of the church so that's that similar hierarchy so i'll
00:03:01.340
give you a scenario that i would say is not uncommon in marriages when it comes to disciplining
00:03:05.900
children oftentimes like maybe the husband wants more discipline the wife wants less and you know
00:03:12.660
is it something where you go to vice versa but yeah yeah there's always two sides right yeah
00:03:16.940
but is it something where you go to the bishop and ask like what they what they should do or do
00:03:21.420
you think like they come to a conclusion together yeah i think you got to figure it out together i
00:03:25.320
think that's the challenge in life right is the the commandment has become one and the challenge
00:03:29.580
is how do you do that and so it's every family is a little bit different every every everybody
00:03:34.300
has a different, like you said, everybody's a little bit different. So you just got to figure
00:03:37.760
out how to figure it out together. Um, so how do you guys feel about female led Bible studies here?
00:03:42.880
Female led Bible. So I think it's fantastic. Okay. So you guys are okay with women leading
00:03:46.780
Bible studies for sure. Okay. Um, what? Oh, you guys aren't married? No.
0.98
00:03:57.400
Okay. So you can, I don't know how much more you want from me, but, um,
00:04:00.620
okay but this is cool good job yeah i love that you're doing this thank you i appreciate it yeah
00:04:05.920
yeah so what's your i want to know where your talent channel is i want to go see it now yeah
00:04:09.540
it's um pearl davis on youtube pearl davis yeah cool congratulations and thank you that's awesome
00:04:14.180
that you're doing this thank you what's your name my name is heidi heidi nice to meet you i'm pearl
00:04:19.060
first i just have to ask where did this question come from like it seems interesting to me as
00:04:27.640
somebody who reads the Bible, what inspired you?
00:04:32.400
Maybe there's something on social media I don't know about.
00:04:37.560
Honestly, I just wanted to know what different churches believe
00:04:40.480
because there seems to be disagreement about the obedience question.
00:04:49.160
And I try to come at it as I'm not pushing one religion or another.
00:04:55.840
And I love that you're here asking us, because some people don't think our church is Christian, and we are.
00:05:01.600
Yeah, well, we want to hear it from the horse's mouth.
00:05:04.220
Well, we're the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so of course we're Christians.
00:05:08.520
I've been married 34 years, and this question made my husband laugh.
00:05:17.480
Because the idea of a marriage being based on one person obeying the other, that's not a relationship.
00:05:24.780
that's not a partnership and we're definitely partners and i very much feel like um
00:05:30.820
my religious upbringing has taught us like he um that's actually my daughter-in-law's dad
00:05:38.280
that you were talking to okay um and it's like we're we're one and that's what we're trying to
00:05:44.480
become and um i know in the bible that there is phrases where they talk about um in a lot of
00:05:52.660
different scenarios that we need to be more like christ so christ is in charge but he serves
00:05:57.260
and so when you say obey to me that doesn't that's not somebody that's serving somebody
00:06:04.900
they're asking you to obey not like serve well do you think it's wrong like when a boss doesn't
00:06:11.400
um well it's a different dynamic okay so what happens when you guys disagree how do you guys
00:06:18.440
come to a conclusion wouldn't you say one person does have to give it like you know because it's
00:06:23.700
not like I'm looking to see if you're married when we disagree um there's a lot of talking
00:06:30.480
that goes on we we have certain things that we definitely don't see eye to eye on and you have
00:06:37.580
to figure out how to make it work who would you say gets their way more um
00:06:46.000
unfortunately probably me okay and I say would you say he because we should be more equal right
00:06:55.340
in getting our way well as women we're stubborn right I just yes he's probably a little more
00:07:01.780
service oriented maybe than I am sometimes so would you say in a way he's obedient to you
00:07:06.600
absolutely not yeah so you would just say when you disagree well yeah you can disagree and it
00:07:13.300
can be like okay but i don't care as much as you so i'm gonna go ahead and let you um you were
00:07:18.180
talking about raising children earlier and i thought you know there are so many times one
00:07:22.780
thing i loved about my husband and i feel like it has to do with our christian background is that
00:07:28.700
um maybe when i discipline the children different than he would want to
00:07:33.160
um later on we would talk about it but he would 100 support me in the moment right and so we got
00:07:41.260
really good at doing that and would you say you do the same for him like if he disciplines in a way
00:07:45.680
and then you guys fight behind closed doors that's right yeah well or and i went yeah we just it's
00:07:50.120
like hey you know this is what i saw this maybe didn't go so well like what if we did this and
00:07:54.760
what you know so do you guys believe in the natural order of the world so god men women
00:08:00.800
children some churches believe that some don't again no right or wrong um
00:08:05.600
no no I I I don't speak doctrinally for my church I can just speak as a member of my church
00:08:15.800
and I don't I I'm somebody who's in leadership and so um I do a lot with the women I work a lot
00:08:26.460
with the men and um I you'd say the majority of people don't follow or believe that okay I would
00:08:33.680
say yeah i would say yeah and if you want to hear great things um listen to some of the general
00:08:39.960
conference messages that are like every six months the leaders of our church speak and they
00:08:45.420
have some wonderful messages on families in fact we have a proclamation about the family have you
00:08:50.080
read that so you might want to look that one up okay because it literally talks about people
00:08:55.120
husband and wives um if you go to church of jesus christ.org we can probably cut it in yeah yeah
00:09:02.160
Yeah, you can look up the proclamation of the family, and it makes it really quite clear what we feel about it.
00:09:09.560
In fact, you're going to read that and go, oh, okay.
00:09:15.980
What do you think makes a good wife as somebody that's been married?
00:09:22.120
Like if you were, a young woman comes to the church, she says, I want to get married.
0.97
00:09:26.540
What would you tell her to do to be prepared and ready to get married?
0.94
00:09:31.320
And would you tell her to marry young or wait until she's a little more mature?
00:09:37.040
I would say it always matters who you're marrying.
00:09:47.380
So that I met the right person at the right time.
00:09:52.700
What have you learned, I guess, from being a wife 34 years that you could?
00:09:56.340
like you it's the greatest chance to learn how to be unselfish so if you go into it thinking this
00:10:10.400
is all for me then you probably have the wrong attitude and my upbringing of practicing christ
00:10:18.200
like principles helped me do that because i was used to trying to be kind when people were not
00:10:25.740
trying to get along maybe when you're not and when you have two people that are both working
00:10:31.880
together it makes a great marriage can you give me a little bit more specific uh like like what
00:10:38.060
day today can we like every single day you wake up what's something you do to be unselfish i start
00:10:44.220
by saying my prayers and reading my scriptures and so that i'm in tune with the lord so what so i'm
00:10:50.420
In tune with the Lord, because if I have his spirit, I'm going to be more likely to be a better person and be kinder.
00:10:58.480
Well, and then how do you apply that, like in your marriage, so with your husband?
00:11:02.300
Then I don't always think, like, if there is a disagreement, it's not, this is what I want.
00:11:09.560
I think of it from the perspective of what's the best for this situation, and maybe I'm wrong.
00:11:20.420
Um, the same thing. My husband's been a great husband. He, uh, does, he serves me a lot
00:11:27.340
and I try to serve him. I think when we were getting married, somebody said like, you know,
00:11:31.700
you both need to give a hundred percent to the other person. And I think that's a good one.
00:11:37.580
So do you guys, I believe this church, you guys have multiple wives here. Is that, is that common?
00:11:57.020
Our church definitely, just kind of like the Catholic church, had people who broke off from it.
00:12:01.900
You wouldn't be asking the people that broke off, or the Catholics, if they represented their church because they broke off from it.
00:12:08.880
So sure, you do have people who broke off from our church and decided to do things.
00:12:13.060
But I think, I can't remember the exact date, but I think polygamy was outlawed by the Lord in like 1900 or 1898 or something like that.
00:12:27.660
Do you think that truth stands the test of time?
00:12:37.040
What would you want people at home to know about this church or this religion?
00:12:53.360
My church does a great job of making sure you can go online and look up and
00:13:01.180
we believe in families being united for eternity and sealed together.
00:13:13.060
everything possible so i you know christ so what are the common misconception oh you gotta go i
00:13:20.020
gotta go okay thank you so much really appreciate it yeah very cute though hi i'm pearl nice to
00:13:26.940
meet you so i go to different churches and ask what they believe about obedience no right or
00:13:31.380
wrong answers um but i'd love to get your thoughts on what you guys believe here yeah that if women
00:13:35.980
should obey their husbands and no right or wrong answers tell us yes why or why not yeah uh no and
00:13:42.040
And I think the nature of the question is to admit, like, you know, you'd expect a Christian to be like, oh, yeah, but or at least like today's Christians, a lot of them, at least the loud ones you hear.
0.75
00:13:56.240
But no, I think in our church, at least this is our belief.
00:14:01.860
Now, I'm speaking as a member, so I can't speak for everybody, but no, it's an equal partnership.
00:14:06.700
Um, a lot of what we believe is that, um, a marriage is meant to make both of you better.
00:14:14.280
Um, and it's not meant for one to be domineering or, or, uh, wants it to be submissive to the
00:14:20.800
I think it's, um, you know, it's, it's an equal partnership.
00:14:25.100
Well, I mean, for my marriage, you know, I, it's not like whatever I say goes or whatever
00:14:31.120
I mean, she's right a lot, but, um, I think it's just, you work together.
00:14:41.460
And I think that's a lot of what our church teaches,
00:14:51.800
And the one thing our church has struggled with
00:14:58.620
to kind of force a kind of sexist, you know, misogynist view on things.
00:15:09.860
But I don't think that, like, if you really dig deep in our doctrine,
00:15:20.340
I don't know if that's necessarily, like, I don't know.
00:15:26.360
And I mean, traditionally, I guess the man, but I don't like it's up to both people.
00:15:33.720
Like if my if there's an intruder and I'm dead or something, it's not like my wife's going to be like, hey, my husband's dead.
00:15:40.520
I can't protect the family because it's not my job.
00:15:42.260
You know, like I don't I don't really believe in that.
00:15:44.520
I think like now we have guns so they can both do it.
00:15:49.860
So what about providing? Do you guys believe that it's the man's duty to provide or it should be both of them?
00:15:54.660
Um, no, I, I, it's, I, I don't believe that I, I will, like, I'm pretty progressive.
00:16:02.180
Um, but I, you know, ask 10 other people in our church, you might get different answers,
00:16:06.680
but I think for most people, no, like, I don't think it's necessarily like the man's duty
00:16:12.600
I think one, at least one needs to provide someone needs to pick up, like the family's
00:16:17.920
I don't think it necessarily needs to be the man.
00:16:19.880
Um, don't you think in a relationship though, one person's always obeying the other, uh,
00:16:24.400
Because generally speaking, you know, there's a reason we have phrases like she wears the pants or he wears the pants because one person does have to give in more than the other.
00:16:36.340
I think that tends to happen. I think when you have two people, one tends to be more domineering than the other.
00:16:46.560
I think you both should work to a place where you're both being open and not, you know, I just I don't really believe in that dynamic.
00:16:57.280
I don't think it should be strive for. It may happen, but I think you both should be open.
00:17:01.800
I've just never seen a couple that where one person doesn't, you know, have more authority. You don't agree?
00:17:06.840
No, I'm saying in practice, yes, that happens all the time.
00:17:09.760
Um, and sometimes like it may be a necessity if, if, if mom is at working a lot or, or
00:17:15.740
dad is at working a lot, um, you know, the, the, the parent that is home may need to be
00:17:24.360
Um, and I think that definitely shakes out, but I don't think it's, it's an ideal.
00:17:29.940
So in your relationship, um, is there one of you that makes more decisions than the
00:17:34.640
um i it i'm i'm probably idealizing our relationship but yeah maybe like you could
0.97
00:17:41.540
give me specifics like finances you make okay here's how here's how me and my wife split it
00:17:46.040
i handle finances um so i i work full-time she's a stay-at-home mom i also work from home which
00:17:50.680
helps i handle finances uh she handles a lot of like the meal planning i still cook but like she
00:17:56.400
does meal planning and a lot of just like trip planning and stuff um i handle like housework
00:18:01.580
backyard work um car stuff like i'll do our oil changes and all that um uh you know we both kind
00:18:08.740
of equally parent she's obviously a state-of-home mom so time spent is more her um but i'm still
00:18:14.380
very like present and active so um yeah we kind of split up and if you told her no on something
00:18:20.380
would she listen and vice versa like if um yeah um she definitely would there's some things that
00:18:25.460
i'm like she would she would listen but be like this is kind of dumb but like it's okay
00:18:36.000
How do you guys feel about female-led Bible studies here?
0.99
00:18:43.140
No, we actually have, like, one of our classes that we do every week.
00:18:52.580
And women, actually, they just changed a rule that women can be the...
1.00
00:18:57.900
which basically means they can lead as there could be female leaders of like the teaching kind of callings in our church.
0.77
00:19:06.440
So like they can kind of organize how do we teach in our church?
1.00
00:19:14.760
What do we like? What kind of lessons do we do?
00:19:17.220
What would you say are the biggest misconceptions about this church?
00:19:27.900
Um, and I think pretty much all religions, if you widen your scope enough, can be called
00:19:37.900
There's some social pressures that have to do with it, but it's like, if I leave tomorrow
00:19:42.040
or today, I'm not going to get like threatened and there's no, and we don't really like worship
00:19:50.220
That's another big misconception, but we don't.
00:19:52.420
And we've definitely tried to steer away from that because it's like, he's a prophet, but
00:19:56.360
he's also a flawed person in our eyes um you know like he's not perfect none of our prophets are
00:20:00.800
perfect um so yeah do you guys believe in the natural order of the world god men women children
00:20:07.220
are you a more egalitarian egalitarian for sure i mean god above everything else right i don't
00:20:12.240
think we're on equal plane with god um but no um i think one of the uh people use like the adam and
00:20:18.620
eve story um a lot one of the things in our church that we believe is that it's not it's not that eve
00:21:03.520
but this is a lot of what some of our members believe
00:21:13.760
and there's a difference between a sin and disobedience
00:21:34.820
Have you ever had a vacation that went a little too long?
00:22:07.820
hard like we have really hard times and hard days
00:22:23.680
so yeah um no we uh i don't think for a long long time there's been any kind of
00:22:29.480
like we're pretty strong about like if you have a marriage you have to try really hard to work it
00:22:34.040
out right there's there's a short list of things that would cause a marriage to be what if someone's
00:22:38.200
like super crazy can they yeah i mean like if your family's in danger you're in danger you're
00:22:43.220
supremely not danger just like super crazy yeah like it's complicated if there's kids crashing
00:22:48.000
out daily yeah we've all i'm sure you've dated a girl like that before you sure but um like imagine
00:22:53.620
you're with the crazy woman can you go yeah no i think it's it's it's between you and god i don't
00:22:58.800
there's not a rule book to be like hey they have to either commit adultery or or do something like
0.98
00:23:03.200
it's up to you like you pray with the spirit you figure it out um and and it's up to you but no
00:23:09.580
you're not ostrich like we're not no one of the church is nitpicking why someone got divorced
00:23:12.940
and being like you can't come back you know um so i'm kind of curious would a member of clergy
00:23:18.820
ever like testify in a family court if they felt like um like one of the parties didn't mean it or
00:23:26.560
like would that ever happen here i don't think so um i guess it depends like if if if a member of
00:23:32.520
the clergy like let's say our bishop right he's the he's the leader of our these individual
00:23:36.760
buildings um let's say a woman like a man cheated on his wife and the woman confided in the bishop
00:23:44.520
and say, hey, bishop, I need your help testifying in court for stuff with my kids.
00:23:49.340
I think that, I don't know what the precedent is,
00:23:52.080
but I'm sure, like, the bishop could in those instances, like, help, you know,
00:23:57.140
the bishop's meant to help families, so you don't have to exercise discretion.
00:24:09.600
Like, if you're responsible for someone, but you have no authority over them?
00:24:12.640
i don't know i think that's just i guess being a good neighbor like uh you know i'm not i'm not
00:24:20.540
responsible for like i don't have authority over my neighbor's health but if i start like dumping
00:24:27.640
toxic waste in my backyard and it gets into his and makes him sick i'm still responsible for that
00:24:32.800
like so i don't know um i just it's it's being a good neighbor yeah that's how i put it hello sir
00:24:42.580
what's your name my name is doug i'm pearl nice to meet you
00:24:49.220
how are you okay are you british south african oh no way yeah oh cool um so today we go to
00:24:58.120
different churches and we ask what their opinions are on obedience there's no right or wrong answers
00:25:02.820
no gotcha we're just trying to figure out what people believe here okay so um do you guys believe
00:25:07.500
that christian women should obey their husbands if yes tell us why if no tell us why not okay so
00:25:13.060
our belief is pretty much based on the interpretation in the bible which is that women should be
00:25:19.360
obedient to their husbands but there's a condition okay and the condition is as long as their husbands
00:25:24.620
serve god admirably and are righteous then the woman should be obedient to their husband and only
00:25:31.440
when they are giving instructions that are in line with what God would have them do.
0.71
00:25:38.420
And so as long as he does that, he gets obedience,
00:25:40.820
or he should ideally get obedience from as well.
00:25:43.360
Yeah, so it's not more, I think it's more of a natural progression.
00:25:49.120
When a faithful woman sees a man who's faithfully trying to follow God
00:25:53.800
and to improve his life, I think she's drawn to that.
00:25:58.220
and she feels comfortable with following his leadership in the family.
00:26:04.640
Not out of obedience as such, but more out of a willingness to draw closer to her husband
00:26:11.380
in the relationship between the husband and the wife and God.
00:26:14.840
Do you think it's her job to decide if he's following God?
00:26:23.320
I think it is her job to decide if he's following God or not.
00:26:26.940
And she should use the scriptures, the Bible, as the foundation to make that decision
00:26:32.980
and to determine whether or not he's living his life in a way that, in her perspective, Jesus would accept.
00:26:41.220
So what do you guys do if the, do you call it priests here, bishops?
00:26:50.040
It's pretty much similar to the way the structure is in the Bible.
00:26:53.380
We have a bishop who's in charge of the local congregation.
00:26:56.100
and then we have everybody else in the all the men in the church who are found to be worthy are
00:27:03.200
called to the office of a priest in the priesthood so what what do you guys do if the priest and the
00:27:09.480
man disagree so what should she do if she thinks that um he thinks he's following the bible the
00:27:17.400
bishop says no but both we both know people are flawed so how should she come to a decision
00:27:22.540
well that's tricky i guess it is it is tricky i try to get stuff that makes people think you know
00:27:29.720
excellent so i think from my perspective is that
00:27:34.960
very seldom will the the woman who is honestly seeking the interpretation and the perspective
00:27:46.960
of Heavenly Father based on the scriptures,
0.72
00:27:50.020
very seldom will her interpretation of what is right and what is wrong
00:28:03.920
But I think, you know, one of the key things that we can do as Christians
00:28:16.960
Jesus never expected us to be absolute blind followers, okay?
00:28:21.960
He taught, when he taught his disciples and the people, he taught in parables.
00:28:28.020
Parables have multiple levels of understanding.
00:28:31.900
If he just had, if he just wanted them to be blindly obedient,
00:28:36.040
he would have left the Ten Commandments in place the way they were.
00:28:39.300
So he wanted people to learn at their own pace, to learn with their own understanding,
00:28:44.120
and to understand the gospel in a way that is appropriate for them at their time in their lives.
00:28:53.060
And so we will find that sometimes a church leader, a bishop or somebody like that
00:28:57.700
might have a deeper or even a different understanding to an ordinary member of the church
00:29:06.980
And so it's difficult to say that they will always agree.
00:29:14.360
trying to follow the admonition of Jesus Christ
00:29:38.680
And so the understanding will be the same from almost any perspective.
00:29:50.880
A good husband, from my perspective, would be somebody who,
0.97
00:29:57.840
I guess as the scriptures say, leaves his family and cleaves unto his wife,
00:30:05.400
so a good husband is somebody who understands that relationship
00:30:09.880
of course God is the third party to that relationship
00:30:18.320
and it becomes the primary focus of his existence
00:30:33.080
and becomes something wonderful what makes a good wife exactly the same thing no difference
1.00
00:30:42.220
whatsoever the two of them become partners in this new relationship this new family unit and
00:30:50.980
as long as both of them have an understanding and a desire to to learn of God to understand
00:31:00.280
God's will for them and to follow a path that will allow them to achieve God's ultimate purpose
00:31:08.920
for them, they will become good for each other. And they'll be prime examples of what a good
00:31:14.740
husband and a good wife are. If the woman is ideally obedient to the man, does that mean
0.92
00:31:19.360
the man gets to decide how many kids the family has? No, absolutely not. So obedience to the
0.90
00:31:26.940
husband is only, in my opinion, only predicated on his obedience to God. And so as God
00:31:39.820
gives instruction to the man, he passes that instruction on to the woman and she is bound,
00:31:50.860
as he is, to be bound, as he's bound to be obedient to God, she is equally bound to be
00:31:55.920
obedient to his instruction. And it's more a case of how information is disseminated from God to
00:32:02.820
human beings than it is about a position in any line of hierarchy. So when it comes to a decision
00:32:10.180
like how many children should we have, that's ultimately purely up to that new family unit
00:32:15.800
in partnership and equal partnership between the husband and wife. Right, but women only ovulate
1.00
00:32:21.920
a few days a month so you can family plan you know to some degree and so if he says i want to
1.00
00:32:28.900
have sex uh while you're ovulating because i want more kids and you know is she like should she be
00:32:35.320
obedient to that you know does he get to decide that no he doesn't get to decide that not on his
0.97
00:32:41.120
own every every decision is an equal partnership an equal decision between the husband and the wife
00:32:47.960
It's a new partnership between each other and Heavenly Father.
0.90
00:32:53.720
Do you think the woman is okay to tell the man to help with chores?
1.00
00:33:05.120
I thought you started by saying obedient, like she should be obedient to her husband.
00:33:10.660
Isn't that contradictory, an equal partnership and obedience?
00:33:16.360
Obedience is following an instruction when it's given.
00:33:24.340
But only when that instruction is righteous and is appropriate,
00:33:35.940
Well, how can a husband make a demand of a woman to do chores?
0.80
00:33:46.180
There's nowhere really that that's set in precedent.
00:33:52.720
I think the Bible says that we have our place and husbands have a responsibility, wives have a responsibility.
00:33:58.900
But nowhere does it say that the one can't help the other one in that responsibility.
00:34:04.200
I mean, today we have women who go out and work to help the man in his responsibility to provide for the family.
00:34:09.620
And equally so, the man should be helping the woman in her responsibility.
00:34:13.480
Well, I'm more asking because if she's nagging him about chores, she's not really...
00:34:17.140
Like, you would never tell your boss what to do.
00:34:19.400
Like, why is it okay to tell your husband what to do?
00:34:24.080
Well, the relationship between you and your boss is more of a hierarchical relationship.
00:34:29.720
Okay. And so you're saying it's more egalitarian.
00:34:32.080
I thought based on your first answer, you were saying she should obey.
00:34:38.620
So it's only when, when God gives us instruction to, sorry, it's only when God gives us instruction
00:34:49.100
And then if he gives us as men, that instruction, as the leaders of the home, he gives us that
00:35:01.400
And in the family unit, they're bound to be obedient to that,
00:35:06.840
as we are showing and demonstrating obedience to the instruction that came from God.
00:35:10.640
Could you give me a few examples, just to be clear?
00:35:15.820
the man's responsibility and instruction to take care of and provide for the family.
00:35:22.460
What I'm saying, what does he get authority over if he has the responsibility?
00:35:27.660
like what does he have the authority to tell her to do so authority is a whole different word okay
00:35:34.280
okay authority is something that is um how do we how do we put it uh like my boss has authority
00:35:46.240
i don't have a boss but if i did right so your boss has authority i have authority to fire you
00:35:53.860
So your boss has authority over you to a degree because he pays a salary.
00:36:00.660
So there's like an authoritarian relationship between the two of you.
00:36:10.620
He gives us the opportunity to submit ourselves to Him.
00:36:15.280
And by definition, then, He is the authority because of our submission to Him.
00:36:19.800
And we do that because we love him and because we trust him and because we believe that he has our best interests at heart.
00:36:28.160
A woman who submits herself to her husband and accepts the authority of the husband does so when he has her best interests at heart.
00:36:40.200
and he and his plan for her is to help her to achieve in the family unit we believe the
00:36:49.040
opportunity to return into god's presence again and so in that context then he has authority over
00:36:57.300
her but not to determine exactly what she can or can't do okay it's more a case of
00:37:04.500
of his responsibility to guide the family in their progression
00:37:13.360
And as long as she accompanies him, she submits to that authority.
00:37:17.900
Yeah, I'm just a little confused because it just sounds like
00:37:20.600
he has all the responsibility, but it doesn't sound like he has authority in this.
00:37:27.100
So in one of our scriptures that we espouse in the church,
00:37:33.120
there's a scripture that says we have learned by i'm paraphrasing okay we have we have learned by
00:37:39.880
sad authority that immediate i mean by we have learned by sad experience that a man as soon as
00:37:44.860
he receives what he perceives to be even the smallest amount of authority he begins to exercise
00:37:52.360
unrighteous dominion no way okay okay and so one of the principles and the scripture goes on to say
00:38:01.580
that it's important for men to understand this principle
00:38:04.680
and to understand that authority is really God's.
00:38:26.300
love unfeigned and obedience to god's law and so but i'm saying if he's obedient to god's law
00:38:35.840
like what authority does he have to like tell her what to do so i mentioned in the beginning that we
00:38:41.540
have something called the priesthood okay in in the church we recognize the priesthood and the
00:38:45.920
priesthood is a line of authority or a organization in which god allows his presence and his
00:38:54.540
organization to be established on earth okay and so when we talk about that authority we begin to
00:39:03.220
understand that authority is more um a function of leadership right than it is of control well
00:39:14.260
it's a leader that you want to control right yeah like we said yeah you submit yourself to that
00:39:19.240
leader and by virtue of you submitting yourself to that leader you agree to abide by their authority
00:39:25.920
by their guidance right but that guidance has to be guided by strict controls yeah but he has a
00:39:33.500
vested interest in like the family doing well doesn't he absolutely yeah so i'm saying like
00:39:38.280
what's wrong with him giving orders like why is that a bad thing because the family unit
00:40:13.420
And if they begin to exercise that under-righteous dominion, things start to fall apart.
00:40:19.560
Who gets to decide if he's being righteous or not?
00:40:24.220
We always look back to the guidance of the scriptures, to the Bible, the scriptures,
00:40:30.660
and the other scriptures that we believe in in the church.
00:40:33.560
We look to the words of the prophets to determine whether or not we're in line with what we should be doing.
00:40:40.260
got it cool thank you so much you're great thanks take care I was demonetized for two years on
00:40:48.280
YouTube for doing these kind of interviews I never know when my last day on YouTube will be
00:40:52.620
so if you can go to the audacity network.com and make a donation to the channel thanks for
00:40:57.720
watching like the video and I'll see you next time