Pearl - I Interview a Dating Coach

00:00:00.000 what up guys welcome to another episode of the sit down today i have a special guest on the show

00:00:14.040 today so for those of you that have been watching my content for a while you will know that about

00:00:19.440 three or four years ago now my entrance into the dating space was actually going to a dating boot

00:00:26.880 camp for men so this was a boot camp where like 10 guys get together and for a weekend they approach

00:00:33.260 women at different bars clubs and there are coaches that give them best practices and just

00:00:38.360 really help them with social skills and seduction flirting skills and there was a coach there that

00:00:44.980 weekend that really at the time I was very outside of the I'd never really been to like a day club

00:00:52.460 or like they like anything super crazy like that so I'm there and I see this coach take home three

00:00:58.600 girls in a weekend and it was kind of funny because before that I you know I was like we're

00:01:05.740 not dating all the same guys that's not true and then I saw it so this is Jesse that was the dating

00:01:16.200 coach from that weekend so I thought it'd be interesting he's been a dating coach for

00:01:20.160 seven years now. And I've seen firsthand he knows what he's doing. So I just thought I'd bring him

00:01:26.500 on the show. And if you guys have any questions, feel free to super chat. And I will ask them to

00:01:31.300 him. And then we'll just have a conversation about what's going on in the dating market. So

00:01:34.960 welcome to the show. Thanks for having me, Pearl. Really appreciate it. Good to connect again after

00:01:38.600 three, four years. Yeah. What did you what did you think of? Sorry. So when I like I went that

00:01:47.160 weekend did you tell how like mind blown I was by the stuff I mean you did say it verbally you're

00:01:53.400 like I can't believe yeah I remember you saying it um but yeah you could definitely tell I think

00:02:01.940 it's impossible like you think about it as a guy if you're watching right and you say it's

00:02:07.680 impossible that never happened something out of a movie or something right but you saw it firsthand

00:02:12.200 Well, and the crazy thing was, like, I had on a conservative guy, like, a week or two ago.

00:02:18.900 Right.

00:02:19.320 And he kept telling me that it's, like, only Chad's can, like, pick up women.

00:02:23.920 Right.

00:02:24.000 It's only, like, the very good-looking guys.

00:02:26.080 Right, right.

00:02:26.240 But what kind of surprised me, like, that weekend, where some of the coaches weren't, like, super, like, I'm not trying to, you know, talk.

00:02:33.100 But it wasn't like they were the best-looking guys in the world.

00:02:35.860 They just kind of went for it.

00:02:37.300 Yeah.

00:02:37.920 They kind of just had the balls.

00:02:40.000 To do it.

00:02:40.660 That's half the battle.

00:02:42.200 um because you got to understand too like i don't care what you look like as a guy there's a girl

00:02:47.800 that's always going to say oh that's my type you know but guys let the opportunity just pass by

00:02:52.040 them so half the work is actually just having the balls to go up and say hi you know so how did you

00:02:57.160 get into the dating space yeah um it's actually a funny story so it was through a friend of a friend

00:03:04.200 um i went to a convention right and uh this guy he knew another youtuber which i think

00:03:09.720 you collapsed at that point. And that's how you and I met. And he was like, Hey, you're pretty

00:03:14.320 good with girls. Why don't you help me run this dating seminar? And, um, you know, he'll pay you

00:03:19.680 a little money on the side, whatever. And so we ran that dating seminar. And from there, I was

00:03:23.260 like, wait, I could do this better than the coaches out there. I could teach better. And

00:03:27.180 that's kind of how my journey started. So yeah. And it was interesting too, because I think like

00:03:31.800 people that aren't in this and even me before I like went there, you would think it's just like

00:03:36.560 the the weirdest guys that go to this stuff yeah but i was like they're pretty normal to be honest

00:03:47.120 and it's kind of interesting because they really can be learned yeah it's a skill yeah right we're

00:03:52.220 all products of our environment um whether you're introverted or extroverted and communication

00:03:57.580 attraction all that it's just kind of like there's a part of extroversion right making a girl feel

00:04:02.500 comfortable um reducing her anxiety that's like more introverted side so it's all a skill everything

00:04:08.080 you learn is a skill um and the average guy if you look if you go outside you see the average guy

00:04:12.840 half of them are going to have issues with dating so it's a very much it's very much so like an

00:04:16.860 average guy's problem for sure for sure so when you're doing dating coaching what are like the

00:04:21.980 archetypes of guys that tend to come to you so where do i start uh you have a few guys but

00:04:29.220 the two buckets we see the most is the guys who are inexperienced and they just want to have fun

00:04:36.000 with with girls they're like hey I've never had a girlfriend what's a relationship like right

00:04:40.800 they might still be virgins or you know they have no experience the other bucket is the guys who

00:04:47.180 are looking for a long-term relationship they're like hey I got heartbroken I don't know what I'm

00:04:52.280 doing I'm rusty maybe they're in their 40s heart divorce whatever but they're actually looking for

00:04:57.120 something serious. So those are kind of like the two buckets that we get for guys. And when you

00:05:00.760 get guys that are virgins, are close to it. I don't know, like some guys you meet, it's like

00:05:07.860 they've hooked up with one girl, one time, something like that. But what is the issue

00:05:14.540 generally? Is it like looks, they're just super unattractive? Is it lack of social skills? And

00:05:21.960 is it worse with the younger guys because gen z is more online no you're gonna be uh so yeah

00:05:28.200 that's a good question you're gonna be surprised by this but most of the guys who are virgins

00:05:33.260 right now doesn't mean that they're terribly you know looking or that they don't have any social

00:05:38.740 skills what happens right now is because dating is getting harder with time and social media and

00:05:43.540 everything what's happening right now what we're seeing is you're seeing a lot of guys who are

00:05:47.520 focused on their career in college put their heads down they go have a good career and they're maybe

00:05:52.380 the mid-management or something like that and they're like hey i've been focused on my career

00:05:55.980 so long i forgot i'm still version and that's okay now i'm like well what's going on how old

00:06:00.420 are they by the time they like look up reality check 25 26 okay right at that point you're like

00:06:06.540 okay i'm 20 what's the average life expectancy 74 yeah so at 37 you're middle age basically yeah

00:06:12.960 right 25 26 is like i have 10 years to have fun and find my wife yeah so that's kind of what we

00:06:18.160 see with virgins most part now okay so it's just guys that are super career oriented because i think

00:06:23.480 the idea online when you hear about like incels is like these losers in their room like a dark

00:06:29.380 you have a lot of those don't work that don't do any is that what you see at all too or so like

00:06:34.980 what first if you had to like yeah you get 10 virgins that come to you um how would you divide

00:06:40.440 it generally so very much so 50 of those are very much i put my head down i've been working

00:06:47.640 i forgot i had to lose my virginity right the other half are you could say they're kind of like

00:06:53.000 more on the loser end but a lot of them do have their together they just lack some social skills

00:06:57.880 they're scared right they have some trauma that they're insecure they lack confidence right but

00:07:04.120 it's actually pretty surprising because you'd think like virgins are those guys but a lot of

00:07:09.080 of them are just normal guys who haven't put themselves out there so um you might not know

00:07:14.320 this but when you go out you might be talking to a virgin he doesn't seem like one but he is

00:07:17.760 right because he's afraid to make the move so um it's surprising but that's about the split that

00:07:22.360 we see yeah and how long does it usually take to get a virgin laid three weeks okay is it that

00:07:28.820 quick yeah three weeks have you for example we connect online and you're like hey i'm never you

00:07:34.060 know lost like just touch the girl before it takes about three weeks because you got to understand

00:07:39.380 they just don't understand women right once they understand like okay how they think and stuff like

00:07:43.840 it's pretty easy um but if i see them in person probably like six or seven days and are there

00:07:48.980 any guys that just can't be helped yeah yeah and is it like a looks thing mindset no there has to

00:07:56.180 be some that you're like you're just not good looking i'm like yeah you're done for um no so

00:08:00.660 come on there's some guys but it's not so much about the the bad looks or anything it's like

00:08:07.820 they're just lazy oh okay you know what i mean this is what i tell every guy it's like if you

00:08:12.580 work out right if you take care of what you eat and then um you're polished you're well tailored

00:08:19.560 tailored clothes you look good you're gonna be a seven for most girls you smell good good haircut

00:08:24.040 that's all it takes but a lot of guys are lazy and they can't even do that and so i mean as girls

00:08:27.860 they see him like oh he doesn't even put effort into himself right what does that say about a

00:08:31.940 relationship with him right um so most guys are just lazy so it's more of a lazy thing for guys

00:08:37.200 more so i mean sure you'll get like i mean everything's a bell curve right so you're gonna

00:08:41.340 have some guys that are you know pretty hard to fix but usually you could up yourself you know

00:08:47.200 one or two points by working on yourself so and what do you see in terms of like what type of girl

00:08:54.260 is it usually just like the super slutty girls they lose their virginity i'm just i'm just wondering

00:08:58.900 like who do you tell them to go for the do they start with the fat shit like yeah yeah they gotta

00:09:03.860 start somewhere right yeah they gotta start somewhere so the thing is um right now the hookup

00:09:10.740 culture is so prominent yeah right that i think the standard of being labeled you know like a

00:09:17.060 slut or whatever has gotten more lenient because it's so prominent but um just in general no they're

00:09:23.540 losing it to like average chicks right if he's 25 26 she's probably around the same age maybe a

00:09:27.700 little younger they meet at a bar and then they hook up um you know that's kind of how it works

00:09:32.660 it's not she's not a massive you know slut or whatever but she does you know engage in the

00:09:36.900 hookup culture um i do have clients who are like christian religious stuff like that that's gotta

00:09:42.260 be tough to work with no no no no no i find that they're like it's just um when i i talk to them

00:09:50.660 they can't really get through like the hookup culture stuff they don't have like resistance

00:09:54.340 to it at all right what do you mean by resistance um like i i find that a lot of them are kind of

00:10:00.500 written with like guilt like they see it as like manipulation in a way right i don't know if that's

00:10:06.100 maybe i could be i don't coach men so i could be you know yeah so psychology and attraction they're

00:10:12.420 natural right um so it's just persuasion to a degree but the really the guys that are tough

00:10:20.340 to work with it's not because of their religious background or anything like that it's just if

00:10:23.780 if they're not coachable got it right think about it like kids you can't coach like a kid

00:10:29.780 at little league is like oh i can't work with this kid right um so if they just are not coachable

00:10:34.580 they don't listen they don't apply those guys are hard to work with right but from a religious

00:10:38.340 standpoint we approach them differently right on how they should um engage in the dating scene but

00:10:45.540 there's some nuances to that but overall they are workable probably some of my favorite people to

00:10:49.860 work with actually so when it comes to like the guys that are like want to go from incel to like

00:10:59.940 in a relationship what's that process usually like and so to like get married with kids yeah so this

00:11:07.300 This is what happens, right?

00:11:08.280 Because, I mean, how does a guy get turned into an intel, right?

00:11:12.180 It's overworking, right?

00:11:13.500 Yeah.

00:11:14.140 So, again, like on a bell curve, right?

00:11:17.080 The average guy, he doesn't seek help.

00:11:20.200 He's either going to blame the world and himself and his flaws for not getting any girls.

00:11:25.020 Like, oh, well, that guy is super tall, that guy is super chatty, and I'm super short,

00:11:28.440 or the world hates me, and, you know, you just pity, right?

00:11:31.660 Victim mentality.

00:11:33.000 Or he goes the other way, and he blames all women.

00:11:35.760 he's like oh all women are whores hypergamous and you know what I mean the

00:11:39.640 whatever he turns into an incel or whatever but so they either end up in

00:11:43.740 those buckets that they don't fix themselves right so it's really hard to

00:11:47.400 get them out of that the way you get them out of that's first by getting rid

00:11:50.940 of those beliefs saying okay well you're wrong right make him realize that and

00:11:54.900 then you count his small wins he has to get out there when they turn into

00:11:59.080 animals is usually like a coping mechanism for them as they say oh well

00:12:02.640 women are you know whatever horse and then you're like well are they go approach that one you don't

00:12:07.040 know oh i don't want to and then it's just a coping mechanism for them to avoid failure um so

00:12:11.920 that's what happens you have to make them realize that and we do that through a phase right where

00:12:16.080 we take them out and we make sure that we desensitize them to those approaches making

00:12:20.560 sure they realize oh women are actually cool you know because you guys are right it's god's

00:12:25.680 greatest invention so it's like um they have to realize that before they even think about

00:12:31.520 uh hooking up with a girl or dating one so it's hard but what are the other like limiting beliefs

00:12:36.880 that they have there's so so many so yeah so many so probably um i mean physical insecurities are

00:12:46.800 huge right and um you have to come to terms with it right when you're short okay guys who are short

00:12:56.160 um guys who are bold right they're insecure about it self-conscious so anything physically right

00:13:03.520 that is is you can't fix those insecurities are really tough to work with right um so that's one

00:13:10.900 of them uh other self-leading beliefs are that they're not good enough okay and usually high

00:13:16.740 performing men have this problem because if you think about it high performing men they're they

00:13:21.120 work hard because they want to prove to the world that there's someone and it kind of almost stems

00:13:25.940 from a chip on their shoulder and security you're right and so when you analyze those guys what you

00:13:30.920 see is that they just don't feel like they're enough it prompts them to work a lot and be

00:13:35.540 really successful to feel like they're they're enough like to some degree in their career and

00:13:39.740 their business or whatever um but it doesn't translate with women right and so they become

00:13:45.380 like a target or two exactly exactly and so what ends up happening with those guys is when they

00:13:51.100 talk to women they don't feel enough and so they feel like they have to lead with the money or with

00:13:54.780 the status and those self-leading beliefs are tougher because that feeling of not being enough

00:14:01.920 is what got them that success with business you know what i mean and so for them in their mind is

00:14:06.680 oh well that's how i got here right and they don't realize with women it's like no you you have you're

00:14:11.420 enough for her you're more than enough right you don't have to lead with those things right um and

00:14:16.580 from there you have other you know other things that happen like approach anxiety lack of confidence

00:14:21.720 with women and stuff like that just because you don't feel enough but that one's really uh really

00:14:25.640 unique to the guys i work with um other self-learning believes is if they're raised in a

00:14:31.520 shitty family and they're like you're not shit right we have a lot of those yeah and so they

00:14:36.920 need a lot of reassurance right hey do you really think that's gonna repel women exactly right

00:14:42.360 because what happens when a guy needs reassurance what do you think as a girl you exactly oh yeah

00:14:47.360 Right. Insecurity, clingy. Yeah. Right. So nasty. And so those guys that we see, that's another big bucket that we see. Right. But those guys have never had any reassurance in their life. Right. That their parents never said, good job. Be proud of yourself. Right. You know, they're always saying, that's it. And in the world, it's not like the world is overly nice. Yeah. I mean, when you're when you're a kid, the world is nice to you. But once you're an adult, like in your 20s or your 30s, no one's giving you that reassurance. Right. So they never had it to begin with. And now they're seeking it.

00:15:15.560 um it doesn't help now they're looking for that in women right in dating so those are kind of like

00:15:21.700 the self-living beliefs that we see that are really tough to work with for sure so when you

00:15:26.700 what are like the different types of women that you see out there like like archetypes i guess

00:15:32.580 yeah so you have so many um whatever archetype the girl is at the end of the day they all want

00:15:39.040 to have fun okay that's huge but you have a lot of different buckets right um you have girls that

00:15:48.560 are actually looking for marriage right and dating so those girls tend to be a little bit on the

00:15:54.840 older side they're like oh i'm actually looking for something serious whatever yeah but you're

00:15:59.420 right yeah but at the end of the day it's like if you understand attraction right if you're

00:16:04.780 financially stable you're a really good flirt right that's basically all a girl needs right

00:16:11.820 and if you make her have fun you elevate her mood she feels good with you she feels comfortable

00:16:17.260 um and you have a good decent career that's more than enough for any girl right and so even if

00:16:22.540 she's not looking for a relationship she's going to look at that she's going to say oh this guy

00:16:25.420 can date him right but that's one bucket the girls that are looking for long term maybe they might

00:16:29.660 be looking the wrong places um but that's one bucket and then you have a different bucket of

00:16:34.860 girls who just want to have fun i just graduated college i just moved to new york city sex in the

00:16:40.700 city type right i want to have fun um you have that bucket as well those girls are um kind of

00:16:48.140 like the girls probably you've had on your pod more stuff all right and then they just never

00:16:52.140 leave the lifestyle yeah so that's that's tough right they never leave that lifestyle because

00:16:57.100 it's so it's such a nice lifestyle you get flown out free dinners blah blah blah everything you

00:17:02.620 know validated um and then they reach 30 32 and that's all pulled away do you think that like

00:17:09.340 eight to tens belong to the streets forever i've heard some puas say that i'm sure eight to tens

00:17:14.620 belong like eight pluses because they're so monetized even if they're not like i think mids

00:17:19.180 are sluttier than eight pluses because like that they have to be to compete but like yeah like

00:17:25.420 Like, because I had a PI on the show and he was saying how, like, if they're super hot, like, they can do nothing and get things in return or the mids have to put out.

00:17:33.900 Yeah.

00:17:35.180 The mids have to put out.

00:17:36.460 Yeah.

00:17:37.260 But he was saying, though, that, like, the eight pluses, a lot of them will never, like, get married or whatever because they're just so monetized for so long.

00:17:47.640 And I was curious if you agreed or you did.

00:17:49.520 Because you guys, like, the dating coaches are the ones, like, you guys get to see firsthand what's going on.

00:17:54.920 because there's so many different guys you guys are getting information from, you know.

00:17:59.540 Yeah, there's, I mean, we run large sample sizes.

00:18:02.740 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:18:03.540 We see it all the time.

00:18:04.660 Yeah.

00:18:05.060 So they are monetized to a degree, but you will get the occasional eight, nines, and tens.

00:18:11.940 I think this is an exception to that rule that maybe live in a city or a country where

00:18:17.640 everybody's an eight or a nine or a ten.

00:18:19.440 Oh, okay.

00:18:20.140 Right?

00:18:20.360 And they don't know that.

00:18:21.640 Or, you know, they might be unaware of it.

00:18:23.360 or they just don't

00:18:24.960 I think it requires also

00:18:25.980 if you're a girl

00:18:26.640 who's an 8, 9 or a 10

00:18:27.660 and you're monetizing it

00:18:28.920 I think it requires

00:18:29.480 a level of ambition

00:18:30.220 you know

00:18:31.400 like you want

00:18:32.440 well

00:18:32.780 like there's a drive

00:18:33.960 there as well

00:18:34.660 and a lot of girls

00:18:35.480 might not have that drive

00:18:36.500 that ambition

00:18:37.180 and so you might meet

00:18:38.940 a few of them

00:18:39.880 who don't have that

00:18:40.800 they have a regular

00:18:41.540 you know

00:18:41.880 small Instagram

00:18:42.620 500, 600 followers

00:18:43.940 you know

00:18:44.920 so I think that's

00:18:47.540 an exception to the rule

00:18:48.480 but I think

00:18:49.620 a 7 can

00:18:50.400 nowadays with social media

00:18:51.700 and the amount of simping

00:18:52.600 that's going on

00:18:53.220 a seven can monetize it too yeah i mean you have fives monetizing it oh yeah i mean you get the

00:18:59.560 filters yeah you have so many girls monetizing it now it's like well yeah you you kind of just

00:19:07.680 have to work around that yeah so what changes have you seen in the last 10 years like with

00:19:12.340 women monetizing more is that like a common thing where like they'll approach a girl and

00:19:16.900 for me when i was interviewing i couldn't believe how many people had only fans of the women that

00:19:22.240 seems really normal and is that something you guys have come across or is that just because

00:19:26.880 people will say go touch grass it's just your podcast i'm curious what you've seen on like

00:19:31.420 the ground level um i mean i think it definitely i mean yeah you definitely attract that type of

00:19:38.280 of audience right but from what i've seen there's definitely an increase it's not nearly as many as

00:19:43.760 you think but you definitely do see an increase now was there a point that they might have had

00:19:48.300 one and then they failed i don't know right i can't tell you that but they said i need to find

00:19:55.200 these girls where are they right i'll help you find them brother and so um we have seen an increase

00:20:02.960 in that over the last 10 years but what we've seen an increase the most that i think is is really

00:20:07.960 damaging is the amount of bad advice between women's circles because women's circles are

00:20:13.280 growing stronger i think that's how feminism is materializing is you're getting four or five

00:20:18.100 groups of girls and they're a girls group and they all give each other shitty advice you know

00:20:23.160 and now you have a lot of those groups that are very hard to break or they just don't look at men

00:20:27.600 as they just don't respect men in general right their opinion or anything and so I think that's

00:20:32.740 what we're seeing an increase in or what we've seen in the last 10 years whereas before it was

00:20:36.680 more so like oh this is my group and you know they're a couple they're a couple and it's like

00:20:40.780 a couple's group more so maybe there's a third wheel here and there but now it's like more single

00:20:45.080 groups yeah that hang out so that's kind of like a big increase in change that we've been seeing

00:20:49.460 and so how does that um translate into like the places that men should approach with because it

00:20:56.060 used to go through like social group so where would you suggest they approach now social groups

00:21:00.400 or third places right like universities churches that used to be like the the number one place to

00:21:04.880 approach now all online now all it's yeah it's majority online but what i'll tell guys is you

00:21:11.160 can meet a girl online but if you don't have your communication skills you're gonna have to go out

00:21:14.740 with her and see her in person you might look cool online and then you're gonna meet her and

00:21:18.540 oh he's a loser you know so anywhere you see a girl you're attracted to it could be the grocery

00:21:24.180 store the target the gym the club the bar the coffee shop yeah whatever lounge cocktail lounge

00:21:30.640 cigar lounge it doesn't matter she could be your you know your hostess your waitress wherever

00:21:34.840 but i i advise guys to always go for it always because you don't know when you're gonna see her

00:21:39.460 again so it's anywhere i don't really want to say there's a particular venue to do it i just want to

00:21:44.120 say just be ready at all times just be ready at all times um obviously if you're looking for

00:21:47.680 hookups bars clubs those are the best um if you're looking for something serious go to events and

00:21:53.580 meetups and activities that fit with your lifestyle you know if you're into cycling go to cycling

00:21:58.780 classes right um if you're into running run clubs are huge now whatever fits your lifestyle you know

00:22:04.680 um if you're into the gym go to the mr olympia or something like that okay and then approach women

00:22:10.360 there something that fits your lifestyle but if you're looking for hookup bars clubs nothing beats

00:22:14.420 that online is also really easy to hook up with girls that you meet online like hinge your tinder

00:22:19.900 all those things um are the guys now is it mostly like drinks i've heard some guys are doing like

00:22:26.160 movies at their place and they go straight to is that a ducy that is that thing so like what's the

00:22:33.200 what's the close rate usually of good question so for the average guy because i talk to guys like

00:22:39.100 this all day literally like three or four yeah that i'm talking to um the average guy i kid you

00:22:45.420 not gets very few matches well yeah of course yeah and out of that maybe he gets one date two

00:22:52.400 dates a month right and then out of that maybe he sleeps with one every three months okay a couple

00:22:58.640 months right one of the things i like this is just once or do they keep coming i've heard some guys

00:23:03.820 their problem is like they can sleep with them but they can't get the girl to commit well i was

00:23:08.720 like what are we living in this world right where the girls just walk you away after giving up

00:23:13.620 shit was telling me about one of his friends he's like yeah he'll bang these like hot women and they

00:23:18.080 just he like wants a girlfriend and he's like they won't yeah the girls are the dogs nowadays

00:23:24.720 yeah the girls are the dogs i'm like damn they won't what a what a sick society we live in no

00:23:30.300 but um he's like you don't want to get breakfast they're like no dude i'm yearning for a relationship

00:23:35.700 he's like you don't want to like cuddle i'm just a walking stick of meat for you

00:23:40.020 unbelievable yeah um no but it is tough for for guys i think retaining the relationship i think

00:23:47.960 what happens with that the guys that are saying that are the guys who only get one girl i think

00:23:52.940 so it's uh it's already a biased pool right because it's the guys that got one girl and

00:23:58.360 they're so clinging and hung up on her because they're that's the only option they had and

00:24:01.920 they're like oh i can't retain them because they only have that option right but if they had more

00:24:06.380 options i could guarantee you they would probably retain all of them no this like i don't i don't

00:24:11.180 know if you've seen this but like i did it i had guys on twitter send me their stats of like they

00:24:17.440 slept with this many women yeah and how many like wanted relationships and i found that like some

00:24:23.220 guys it would be they would all all the girls they slept with wanted relationships and some guys it

00:24:27.640 was like out of 50 like none none so it was it was very polarized it was binary that's that's

00:24:32.440 the numbers i got you you you see more than i do yeah so what i see with the guys is

00:24:37.440 i mean if you're if you understand women properly yeah right and she sleeps with you she's gonna

00:24:44.220 want to come back all the time right i know i could hit up for example right now right i could

00:24:49.960 up any girl right and she'd be cool even if i spoke to her in a year right so i know they all

00:24:55.640 do want a relationship so once you understand women properly and not just to hook up with them

00:24:59.880 right if you look at dating like i'm gonna talk to her like i want a long-term relationship and

00:25:06.260 talk to her in that manner a hookup's gonna happen it's bound to happen it's a it's an

00:25:10.020 it's a side effect of being good long-term relationship material it's a hookup right

00:25:14.940 um so i think guys who can't retain that that girl it's i i think it's also it also merits

00:25:22.740 to look at their at the genetic pool you know what i mean it might be guys who are you know

00:25:28.420 better looking taller but they might not be good long-term relationship material like the bartender

00:25:33.940 that's stuff exactly where the girl's like yeah he said he said he was a dj yeah he's so hot or

00:25:39.860 he has like that yeah yeah where i kind of want that experience yeah and so that's all they want

00:25:45.460 from him right but i could give you like if he was a dj but he ran when he talked to her he was like

00:25:50.260 Like, he didn't talk about being a DJ.

00:25:52.140 He just treated her like a long-term relationship.

00:25:54.420 She would have came back.

00:25:55.500 Oh, really?

00:25:56.220 Yeah, 100%.

00:25:56.900 But I think that's what happens is, like, those guys that are saying that,

00:26:00.340 they're kind of like that fun experience, genetic-type pool,

00:26:03.340 and then the girl has fun, right?

00:26:05.180 But if the girl would have realized, oh, my God, not only is he a DJ,

00:26:07.680 not only is he a bartender, but he's also, like, super sweet,

00:26:11.480 and I could see a relationship with him,

00:26:13.800 then they would have stuck around.

00:26:15.980 That's usually what I see because I do coach guys,

00:26:18.140 but they have that problem where they're good-looking guys.

00:26:20.260 six foot four right total chats are like girls they just don't want to you know stick around

00:26:25.460 and i get to know them like well yeah because you're a douchebag right you got to treat them

00:26:28.720 better right you got to be a long-term relationship material and they're not used to that because

00:26:32.780 girls just they don't have to do that right whereas a guy who doesn't get that he has to

00:26:37.820 lead with that oh so he's they're probably like they're something's wrong with their long-term

00:26:41.600 personality exactly it's like they're attractive oh so they're attractive in the beginning but the

00:26:46.760 long-term personality think about it like you go to work right you're wearing your work hat

00:26:51.080 yeah and then you come home now you have to change her to your husband hat yeah right it's the same

00:26:55.460 thing in long-term relationship you have your hookup hat the fun flirty guy oh i just want to

00:26:59.060 you know fuck this guy he's so fun he's so hot he's so flirty but then you have those serious

00:27:03.560 conversations with her where like it makes you feel like oh we're talking about my past the future

00:27:09.960 he's got ambitions i could see myself as part of his journey right he switched hats from that you

00:27:15.960 know fun flirty fuckboy to that okay he could be boyfriend dating guy yeah right a lot of guys

00:27:22.100 then she'll be disappointed yeah and then he's like never mind right but that's why they can't

00:27:28.900 retain yeah they forget to switch ads yeah sell the dream we're talking about that um sell the

00:27:35.920 dream do you ever like so if you have a girl that like you kind of want to go away you ever just get

00:27:42.300 like douchier like trying to tell you a story so there's a point there's a point in my life where

00:27:49.600 i was like i don't know if i should just ghost the girls or tell them the truth and i asked the

00:27:54.840 girls like do you want me to ghost here do you want me to tell you the truth and she's like tell

00:27:57.900 me the truth i told her the truth she goes i would rather you've ghosted me what did you say

00:28:02.340 um i was like you know um i don't see myself with you long term it was already like six seven months

00:28:08.000 I was and she's already getting like what are we yeah and she's like I don't see myself you know

00:28:12.380 with you long term I just you have a lot of issues yeah what were the issues she didn't have a father

00:28:19.220 figure okay yeah right and it's just like it's just a lot of work you know um and I'm willing

00:28:24.820 to put in the work but not ask like it's too much right and I do feel like you're you know

00:28:29.560 conflict resolution it's not it's not there right the accountability is not there and so I was honest

00:28:36.220 and um she's like i'd rather you just ghosted me but i think because i told her that she she

00:28:41.000 actually ended up being a long-term relationship so i think i helped her wait you dated her after

00:28:44.660 no no she ended up being oh she dated someone else she dated someone else exactly and so i

00:28:49.640 think i helped her i like to call you and say thank you no she should right what a jerk uh

00:28:56.720 but yeah so you know i do think it helps telling him the truth it definitely does hurt yeah so um

00:29:03.300 so do you now like yeah what do you do now do you um most girls i just stop being saying like hey i

00:29:11.060 just don't see us long term most girls will understand they don't want to know the truth

00:29:14.820 as long as you tell them that they're okay with that they're like okay i get it you know and how

00:29:19.460 long does it take for them to like ask some girls are the more the faster you let them into your

00:29:27.700 your lifestyle the faster they'll ask right so I'll give you one example on the very fast end

00:29:35.780 like let's say a month or two um she's coming over once a week right and if you have a work

00:29:41.000 trip maybe you took her with you to a work trip right maybe you're going on to dinner once a week

00:29:46.040 and she's staying over and now you've seen her twice a week right and then you're going over to

00:29:50.180 her house right um you talk to her about your business or work or whatever the more you let

00:29:55.220 her into your life the faster they'll ask for a title so if you don't let her into your life as

00:30:00.540 much you take her out to dinner once but she's never seen your house your apartment right she's

00:30:04.300 never stayed over oh you get what i'm saying um and you're kind of like slower to bring her into

00:30:10.400 your lifestyle right she doesn't meet your parents or like she doesn't even know a thing about your

00:30:16.040 parents then it takes longer but on average probably like seven eight months is when they're

00:30:20.760 like what are we it's actually longer than i thought yeah yeah yeah but i mean you're just

00:30:27.580 stretching that you know you're just stringing them along right it's kind of like you're giving

00:30:31.600 them relationship benefits without the title yeah it's giving someone a title at work without

00:30:35.780 the salary increase yeah the journey maybe someday and so that's kind of how it works right

00:30:43.460 do you ever get like them vindictive because like i know a lot of guys are kind of do you know you

00:30:48.920 know like women are not have you watched cga ever no so he has this um he has this phrase called all

00:30:56.700 men pay okay so like yeah because the women like eventually will make you pay yeah yeah like do

00:31:04.660 you ever find that like a vindictive girl like tries to ruin your reputation yeah crazy yeah all

00:31:11.480 the time no listen they said never show her where you live is that a strategy no so like to like i

00:31:21.820 mean if you're gonna hook up with their girl she's probably gonna take her back to your place

00:31:24.680 well you go to hers right you go to hers but this is what i'll tell guys it's always safer to go

00:31:29.960 back to yours because you don't know you know who might be crazy she might have a crazy ex for all

00:31:34.300 you know oh okay so it's always safer at your place but um that being said and done uh what

00:31:41.920 was the question to vindictive right yeah um yeah so girls once they're in love with you

00:31:45.440 they will go above and beyond to make sure no one else can get you and one of those ways is by

00:31:51.820 ruining your reputation right because think about it they can't do anything physically

00:31:55.320 but they can sure as hell hurt your reputation your brand right i mean you see this throughout

00:32:01.060 history right name a successful man that hasn't been women do it to me and i'm not even dating

00:32:05.460 them it's insane they have so much power um but yeah name a successful man that hasn't been

00:32:12.180 hurt by that stuff it's almost impossible do you ever get guys that are really like neurotic about

00:32:17.360 that happening like they don't want to approach because of that sort of thing yeah you definitely

00:32:21.640 have some ptsd in there um but you have to realize too if you go in with with good intentions like

00:32:29.720 not being a psychopath right oh i'm asleep with as many women as possible and you go in with like

00:32:35.940 okay i'm gonna treat her right right and i'm gonna do all these things and make her feel good

00:32:40.780 and i'm actually looking if i sleep with her i'm actually looking for a relationship if you go in

00:32:44.340 with those intentions nothing's gonna happen women are very understanding where it's like oh okay

00:32:49.220 you know i'm not gonna do anything crazy most women won't do anything crazy but the ones that

00:32:53.800 do do something crazy you know it's a tail end what's like the craziest thing that's happened to

00:32:58.380 I had a girl who put, she put all, when I had my personal Instagram, she put all the

00:33:07.260 girls that were following me and all the girls I was following, she put them like in her

00:33:10.720 close story.

00:33:12.060 And then she put like pictures of me and her.

00:33:15.360 Just be like, oh, I'm so glad we're dating.

00:33:17.300 Just like a bunch of stuff.

00:33:18.200 And then she DMed every single one.

00:33:20.040 Boom, boom, boom.

00:33:20.700 She's like, hey, do you know, how do you know, Jesse?

00:33:22.700 Did they respond?

00:33:23.960 Yeah, a lot of them responded.

00:33:25.260 But a lot of them, a lot of them were cool with me and they're like, she's weird.

00:33:28.000 why is she doing this should i block and i was like yeah just block her but um after that some

00:33:32.920 girls posted me on tiktok just be like like you know this guy was late to my date and i didn't

00:33:38.640 know she posted me until like someone sent me the video i was like oh great wait that you were that

00:33:42.560 was it that was late to the date that's it yeah how late were you so like an hour okay but like

00:33:49.060 yeah they got a tiktok video yeah and she got like two like a lot did you hook up with her

00:33:54.180 yeah we've been dating for like for a month or so okay for like three dates but still like that's

00:34:00.060 crazy you know what i mean for an hour and like i thought she was cool like i've known her so

00:34:04.880 women if they are neurotic and they are crazy they are crazy they will do it right but the average

00:34:11.560 is not are there like signs that you look for early on yeah like so what how how tempered her

00:34:18.460 reactions are you know so maybe not to things you do but to things in during her day okay so

00:34:25.680 if she's out and about right and they're late on her starbucks or she's getting lashes done

00:34:32.240 and they don't do them well and she overreacts like overreacts oh she gets really mad she gets

00:34:37.260 really mad that means her emotions fluctuate to one end or the other right it's kind of like

00:34:40.820 bipolar a little bit um but that's that's really what it is right um tattoos are a huge sign of

00:34:47.060 that as well so what's the worst ones have you seen any really crazy i personally don't because

00:34:55.480 i i steer clear of them yeah i do know guys who have they said that's the ssris yeah you're looking

00:35:03.800 girls medicine i know low key though yeah go in the cabinet see what you find um take pictures

00:35:12.700 google it real quick but yeah there's i mean yeah those girls that are crazy are extremely crazy

00:35:18.780 yeah right they're like psychotic have you had like clients go through that at all like yeah well

00:35:25.980 what i see is because guys don't open up much right so i have to kind of like dig it out of them

00:35:31.260 but the most common ones we see with those type of women just like very neurotic women

00:35:35.980 is guys who went through like a divorce like a really rough divorce right um in their 40s or

00:35:44.120 50s and they tell me about it and the whole time they don't realize they're dating just a super

00:35:49.640 narcissistic neurotic female right you see that a lot but they're blind to it because that's the

00:35:54.220 only girl they've ever dated they think all girls are like that it's a norm right but you also have

00:35:59.880 guys who attract that type of girl because they are neurotic themselves okay because you you attract

00:36:05.280 what you what you are and so you see that mostly kind of like in the industry right like with

00:36:10.600 bartenders bottle girls that type of industry like you know um that's where a lot of neurotic

00:36:16.840 people hang um just because like it's very yeah it's just very dopamine driven oh okay you know

00:36:23.080 i mean like that those type of of places um and it's okay to overreact in those places you know

00:36:30.800 because everything's so loud all the people are drinking you can kind of just say you're drunk

00:36:34.240 exactly yeah it's it's there's always some thing you could blame it on right well i was drunk or

00:36:40.240 he was just the or you blame it on the other person it's just like i had such a long day

00:36:44.600 and like it makes it acceptable to be neurotic right and so that's what you see in the industry

00:36:48.900 a lot those people so the average guy you're working with he's getting laid like once every

00:36:54.300 three months yeah some some from i would say from three dates a month one of them he gets laid three

00:37:00.860 dates and uh yeah basically okay because i asked so the first question i ask guys when they call

00:37:06.580 or when they when they contact me is are you looking for something casual or something long

00:37:11.160 term right well something casual when's the last time you got that most common answers is around

00:37:18.920 the three month to over a year what percent are looking for casual versus long term

00:37:23.860 so the answer the most common answer is i want something casual that develops into something

00:37:29.300 long term well yeah yeah that's what they want isn't that kind of what people yeah that's what

00:37:32.980 people want but it's that it's kind of it's almost like a trick question in a way um but yeah that's

00:37:39.940 the most 80 of guys are like yeah and then i would say i find that guys want relationships more than

00:37:45.680 women nowadays yeah yeah yeah they do too much free shit for being a single girl yeah a ton um

00:37:52.680 but a lot of guys struggle with that you know they struggle with hooking up let alone having

00:37:56.880 your relationship yeah so yeah but so your average guy he's getting laid at once every three months

00:38:03.760 and is it once once twice a year holy shit that's like nothing yeah it's nothing you got to keep in

00:38:09.560 mind i talked to probably messaging right on instagram right they're they're always messaging

00:38:14.980 probably like 100 to 200 guys okay out of those maybe four or five had to hook up within the last

00:38:22.240 couple weeks just think about that yeah the rest has been between over three months or over a year

00:38:27.520 it's it's rough and so the guys that are doing really well what's their like

00:38:32.800 the guys that are doing really well like what would you say is someone doing really well

00:38:38.940 i mean right if the average guy is getting two three lays a year right you double that that's

00:38:46.260 really well right you're doing really you're getting laid once every two months getting laid

00:38:51.200 once twice every month you're doing extremely well but the more well they do the better position they

00:38:58.000 are in the genetic pool and it's it's the direct correlation it's kind of like common sense um so

00:39:03.360 those guys never they don't need help with women yeah right um it's the guys that are like normal

00:39:09.680 guys that want to go from like a five to an eight or like a five to seven exactly where it's like

00:39:14.720 they're not going to be selected if they don't have good hygiene good everything has to be where

00:39:19.440 if a guy's like a chad it's like you can do anything and they're yeah the easiest way to

00:39:23.440 tell if you're a chad or not is to go on on hinge or on tinder yeah right the number one filter on

00:39:28.560 hinge is height yeah it's just can't you just lie if i was a guy if i was a guy i would just lie but

00:39:35.920 then what you see her but if she's like five like women don't know height um yeah but like if you're

00:39:42.240 five five you're not gonna know the difference right so how much let's do a little test so how

00:39:46.400 how much would be acceptable for you to lie about i mean i would i would just go all the way i just

00:39:53.180 put it to six if i was a guy if he was how tall like like five eight four inches right yeah how

00:39:58.820 tall are you i'm six right say the guy was six he shows up he said he was six four you'd be able

00:40:04.420 to tell right away most girls are five but i'm tall though that's different no but most girls

00:40:08.560 are five eight five what five six five six let's say most girls are five five five yeah right if

00:40:13.340 says five nine or you know he's five five he says five nine the problem is the guys that that have

00:40:20.540 to lie if they did to get more matches are not average height average height is not a problem

00:40:26.300 oh it's that they're it's below it's super short right so the height it doesn't work

00:40:30.460 right the average guy sure he lies but he didn't have to lie in the first place

00:40:33.820 right because it's like average height it's okay like five ten to six one exactly that's fine yeah

00:40:39.180 yeah but if you're just they lie though that much you might as well right no for guys five ten the

00:40:45.660 best thing the best thing i'm like i was five ten if i was a guy you just round it up you could

00:40:50.520 round it up right because if they have all the filters at six wouldn't you want to be you could

00:40:54.440 tell me you're the coach yeah um well this is what guys should do right guys should approach in person

00:41:00.040 first and use hinge tender as a secondary tool and the way i tell guys to run it is go get your

00:41:08.180 main girls from doing your approaches at your meetups during the day when you go out at night

00:41:13.440 with your buddies whatever that's where you're going to meet majority of the women that are

00:41:17.680 going to date you right because they're correlating to your lifestyle but use tinder and hinge to kind

00:41:22.800 of practice right maybe set up a date or two monday through wednesday right so it's just a

00:41:27.300 secondary tool it's not your end-all be-all right so there's if it's your secondary tool i don't see

00:41:32.860 the point in lying and just getting comfortable with yourself you know what i'm saying because

00:41:36.780 really you you know by doing it during the day during the night during your meetups right wherever

00:41:42.060 you go for whatever events you know that you're enough when you approach these girls well i'm 510

00:41:47.260 when i approach these girls in person i know i'm enough as a guy so you'll you won't feel the need

00:41:51.980 to lie you know because you're proven to yourself i'm the guy um but if you want to lie about it

00:41:56.700 you go ahead it's not gonna hurt you but if the girl does there's a problem when the girl does

00:42:00.220 us say something what is he going to say oh i freak out oh no it's uh i'm six foot with this

00:42:06.540 or whatever breaks his frame now he's like like awkward so if you're gonna lie be a goddamn good

00:42:11.080 liar all right because then because then she's gonna say yeah no i'm six foot what are you gonna

00:42:17.280 yeah it would move on right no it's the truth so if you're gonna do it don't be all you know

00:42:23.500 it's pandering around um when she asks you yeah you have to stand up with it yeah yeah so

00:42:30.220 how long does it take like i know you said a virgin can lose his virginity in three how long

00:42:34.780 does it take for a guy to go from like nothing to expert level i guess three months really three

00:42:41.020 months three months no way that quick yeah that quick so i mean the way i i run it right so you

00:42:45.820 got to think about it like this they want to know why they shouldn't just rent the women

00:42:49.420 like buy them like hookers because that's just a slippery slope right yeah i think if you're

00:42:55.160 willing to buy hookers you have a deeper problem yeah it's a deeper problem than that um i mean

00:43:03.120 it depends on on your goal too right right if you want a family buying hookers is not the way to go

00:43:09.540 i would recommend i mean but i'm not here to yeah it's not the way to go um being transactional

00:43:15.180 with women is not the way to go there's a difference between an emotional financial

00:43:18.480 transaction yeah at least when there's an emotional transaction she's doing some emotional investment

00:43:22.960 into you as well right and so the loss if there is a loss it's it's parity why do you think guys

00:43:29.120 spend so much time on women that clearly don't want them like why like because sometimes i'll

00:43:36.160 just watch i'm like why are you she doesn't like you yeah you know what i mean like like there'll

00:43:41.760 be guys that'll wait like months to have a girl sleep with like the biggest one that i've seen

00:43:46.240 these guys that they think the girl's like different or special and she's like waiting

00:43:51.380 for sex and i'm like dude no you're you're naive yeah you're naive you're a naive young boy and

00:43:56.260 it's crazy because the guys you think like oh what when you think of a naive man what what age

00:44:01.500 range do you think of i think a two i think of either under 27 yeah or very religious and just

00:44:11.080 hasn't partaken in anything right the average guy yeah who's not really the average guy is not

00:44:15.780 religious yeah they're naive up until their late 30s because i've talked to guys when i message them

00:44:21.100 right whatever they're like i'm still trying to get with this girl i've known her for a year or

00:44:24.640 two how old are you 37 38 no way yeah so men are so naive nowadays right and to answer your question

00:44:32.080 they get so hung up on one girl that doesn't want them because that's the only girl that gives them

00:44:39.820 time that gives them attention because guys they don't realize this but guys do need emotional

00:44:45.480 reassurance as well almost right they do need emotional attention almost right and that girl

00:44:52.140 is the only one that talks to him and so in his mind like that's the only opportunity that i have

00:44:56.560 to make anything happen because i don't know any other girls that's the only girl i know

00:45:00.040 and that's the only girl that talks to me and so they approach it from a scarcity mindset

00:45:04.120 because they don't know any other girls and so they're so hung up on her they come to me

00:45:07.800 there's no no none they come to me and they say yeah that well this is a girl i really want her

00:45:14.020 I've known her for six years.

00:45:14.920 And the first question I asked was, well, how many other girls are you talking to?

00:45:18.740 Zero.

00:45:20.000 Yeah.

00:45:20.480 Why?

00:45:21.480 Because I'm scared.

00:45:22.240 The real issue is not that you can't get her.

00:45:24.380 The real issue is that you can't get anyone.

00:45:27.780 You know?

00:45:28.640 And so that's the mentality that these guys have.

00:45:31.360 And it's really a scarce mentality.

00:45:33.320 It's kind of like going fishing and then looking for one fish, even though there's a thousand

00:45:39.280 fish out there.

00:45:39.960 But no, I want that one.

00:45:41.300 Because that one is the only one that bites my bait.

00:45:44.020 What? What are you talking about? It doesn't make any sense.

00:45:46.300 So that real problem is that they can't get anyone.

00:45:47.980 That they can't build attraction.

00:45:49.480 That they're afraid of failure.

00:45:51.900 They're afraid to get rejected.

00:45:53.600 A lot of stuff.

00:45:55.380 Well, do you think that...

00:45:57.680 Do you ever see guys, even though

00:45:59.760 they have other choice, they still hyper

00:46:01.560 fixate on one?

00:46:03.060 Yeah, when you're in love.

00:46:04.460 Yeah, but it's like

00:46:06.020 sometimes the simping

00:46:09.060 is just... The simping is different.

00:46:11.680 Simping should be

00:46:13.000 illegal.

00:46:14.020 it should be jail time um because think about it yeah and what did i what did i tell you yesterday

00:46:22.520 what did i say i said if you have social media as a guy yeah and you're not monetizing it right

00:46:27.420 or you're not proactively yeah what are you doing if you're not proactively working to make make it

00:46:31.520 good right i mean like make a presence on social media i mean something meaningful not just good

00:46:37.100 pictures and shit but if you're not doing those two things delete it why because you're brain

00:46:41.680 writing watching dumb stuff and you're liking pictures of girls that don't even know who you

00:46:46.140 are yeah right and so that's how the simping starts even though you might not be a simp right

00:46:51.080 you might not be that simpy you you like one picture of a girl a week that's enough because

00:46:56.140 that adds up right there's a million men that are single you know yeah and i guarantee you a lot of

00:47:00.660 them are do it if you go on the average guy's explore feed what are you gonna see all right

00:47:05.800 probably girls do you know i heard that even when men downvote the stuff it still like goes

00:47:11.180 yeah because social media is like it's either you hate it or you like it yeah

00:47:15.440 and so we're gonna only gonna show you either yeah right and so if you go walk

00:47:20.540 down the street this would actually be a cool video walk down the street and see

00:47:23.180 let me see your explore page most men will have some sort of ass on there yeah

00:47:27.420 right mm-hmm so I say delete it if you're not monetizing if you're not

00:47:31.940 working on it delete it and go find women the right way and that will bring

00:47:35.940 balance back to the dating space do you see like a lot of guys using their phone

00:47:40.040 as like a crutch for like the lack of female intimacy especially with like Gen Z becoming

00:47:45.500 more online is that a problem for you like antisocial guys yeah so I mean right now the

00:47:51.100 guys that I'm working with a lot right I think Gen Z they're coming into the picture right the

00:47:55.340 youngest guy we're working with is 19 okay a very smart 19 year old guy right because he's already

00:48:00.360 like I'm gonna figure shit out right yeah so he's very smart you know Gen Z but the average age we

00:48:04.640 deal with is 25 to probably 40 okay that's a good range of guys that we have on the calls

00:48:10.080 but i do think that the more prevailing social media gets the better it is as disguising your

00:48:16.160 lack of communication skills right your insecurities all these things um and so i

00:48:21.840 think it'll it'll come to light we'll see how it materializes but right now gen z is like up and

00:48:25.520 coming they're like coming for the guys yeah they're coming into the dating scene i think gen

00:48:29.440 z girls are even worse in in social media spaces oh yeah right just social media is way worse on

00:48:38.000 women yeah yeah and so these gen z guys are they're in for a rude awakening because all those

00:48:43.280 gen z girls they've been on only fans for a while they're getting snatched up by you know the older

00:48:48.080 guys who don't want anything serious now they they're in their 30s financially stable they're

00:48:52.800 having fun they're like i made it right this girl's 22 she's super hot right and she cares about

00:48:58.560 status and stuff i could take her out over here and so that's kind of what we say oh actually i'm

00:49:03.040 curious what you think of the stat where it's like twice as many women under 30 are in relationships

00:49:08.880 than men under 30. do you think it's because the women are dating the same guys or because

00:49:14.640 they're dating older or both so it could be both i'm just i'm just curious your thought being like

00:49:20.400 in the field yeah i think they're dating older yeah for sure um it's really hard for i think

00:49:26.000 once a girl leaves excuse me once a girl passes age 22 23 dating within your age group leaves the

00:49:33.600 picture because what happens with girls in college right they're still in college around that time

00:49:38.320 and if you stay in the same city your college group will still be to a degree like the same

00:49:44.640 right same with high school sweethearts and stuff but you get judged if you date outside of your

00:49:50.560 social circle at that age you know well he's not even the fraternity or whatever right and so it's

00:49:56.100 it's not as acceptable to date from the outside but once you're in the real world now it's fair

00:50:01.160 game yeah right like if you go approach girls in the college campus that's fucking weird right right

00:50:06.860 but if you go approach a girl at the club who just graduated who's 24 that's fine yeah right

00:50:11.860 and so you have these guys and then that's kind of like where the competition really begins

00:50:15.720 so what you see a lot too is um these younger chicks dating older guys and i think

00:50:20.020 most girls that we talk to it's the age range that they date is always i think they cap it at

00:50:25.320 like 10 years like if she's 25 that's what i've seen about too about 10 years 25 oh uh i'll only

00:50:31.160 date over to 35 yeah which is fair i think that's a pretty good range but yeah like when when i was

00:50:35.960 single like the cap was 20 and i think i was abnormal like i feel like girls thought i was

00:50:40.440 weird yeah like i wouldn't go past 20. yeah but like 10 is the most common i see and what do you

00:50:47.340 think about um a pi came on and he said that he would guess what was oh my god i can't remember

00:50:56.100 the number off the top of my head he thinks that up to it was roughly 40 percent of women under

00:51:02.020 30 that are not fat have done some sort of sex work if you include things like sugar dating

00:51:08.220 occasionally having sex for rent only fans selling nudes on Instagram do you

00:51:14.760 think that is accurate or do you think he's kind of overblowing it I think it's

00:51:20.700 overblowing it okay the thing with these studies that I'll say well he's he

00:51:27.180 didn't have a study it was just like cuz he vets his job was to vet girls yeah

00:51:31.140 to marry them okay yeah so like it's like if you had a girl you wanted to

00:51:35.040 you bring him to him and he says so what i would say is trends move fast and societal norms move

00:51:42.340 fast as well right where at it wasn't accepted five ten years ago to post a nude online right

00:51:47.980 everybody freaked out about nudes now they're selling it for three dollars right do you know

00:51:51.440 it's crazy too i was just at like um a ufc like jim doing some interviews there and they were

00:51:58.220 telling me like i was asking the guys would you date a girl with like an only fan like if she had

00:52:02.500 one before and i couldn't believe how many of the guys said they would and i'm like don't you guys

00:52:08.480 have like other like choices you also got to realize that and i'm like it could just be

00:52:12.340 entertainment because i know in entertainment it's like a little different but i'm like

00:52:16.020 really you gotta realize that you gotta realize guys who fight they they're not the most normal

00:52:24.780 guys they're not no they're totally not but i just kind of was thinking i'm like you guys have

00:52:30.740 the ring girls throwing i'm like i'm not dumb like you guys have chill why would you yeah they're

00:52:36.300 like yeah as long as she deleted it i'm like what i'm just gonna believe it like it's gotten

00:52:42.360 normalized so fast but like they're like as long as she didn't have like actual sex on camera so

00:52:48.720 i'm like jesus christ they're okay with it and so that's okay but like they would accept if you're

00:52:54.400 you know they would accept it it's just it's just becoming a norm yeah and so that's what i mean

00:52:57.920 where it's like if he's vetting these girls i think it's moving so fast and technology moves so

00:53:03.280 fast right the innovation levels and that i think side of norms go with it right the good and the

00:53:08.840 bad and so what you see is is these things becoming more common and because they're more common what

00:53:14.860 guys end up feeling like it's like if i don't accept it i'm not going to get anyone so i should

00:53:19.480 come to terms with it oh you know you know and do you think there's some truth to that i think

00:53:23.880 there's some truth to it right you look at back in the day what was back in the day well i don't

00:53:27.600 want my girl to work a corporate job she should be a stay-at-home mom but societal norms catch up

00:53:32.200 it's like oh maybe it's okay for her to work right and so that's what we're seeing but it's getting

00:53:37.080 worse and i think as guys i think i do think it's their job to put a stop to be like no i'm not okay

00:53:41.980 with that yeah i need to stop feeding that machine and i think it comes down to the simps and i think

00:53:46.800 they're the problem i think you made a video about it yeah they are so wait what do you what do you

00:53:50.480 request the most in terms of like the types of girls they want they want they just want a good

00:53:55.540 girl with with decent head on her shoulders um as far as like body count all that type of stuff

00:54:01.380 they want single digit body count yeah they're like and not just single digit body can't how

00:54:06.020 would you even verify that so you can but before i go into that they want single digit body count

00:54:13.300 and they want the uh the single digits to come from long-term relationships yeah not just a hookup

00:54:18.660 yeah um and it's really bad because girls don't count the hookups oh they only count the guys

00:54:25.940 that they dated that they slept with they don't count like anal either yeah you go to utah

00:54:30.460 so going back to your question is like how do you verify that and i think this is where guys

00:54:37.640 go wrong is if you make her feel judged in any way shape or form she's not going to be her true

00:54:43.720 self yeah right so you've got to come in and even though it bugs you you've got to learn to have a

00:54:47.980 poker face i just i just show called men's like what's the craziest thing a girl said to you and

00:54:53.000 you to keep a poker face yeah it was a call-in show yeah and so that's what happens is uh they

00:54:58.740 have to learn to keep that poker face so they could learn the truth about the girl yeah and

00:55:02.220 it happens just when you're trying to learn the truth about anything right the cia probably does

00:55:06.560 this when they're trying to learn the truth about other you know nations or whatever and spies i

00:55:11.580 think when you make her feel comfortable and like you're not judgmental and open-minded

00:55:17.480 she will tell you a lot more than you don't yeah but women are smart like you know what well yeah

00:55:23.800 but you know what they are smart but what i will say is most guys cannot keep that poker face so

00:55:30.260 when they do find the guy that keeps it it's like oh i finally can talk about it with a guy

00:55:33.520 and then they get that's true they get excited about it yeah but that's why it's so rare for a

00:55:38.000 guide to be not judgmental and keep a poker face so guys need to learn to do that if you don't want

00:55:42.860 to play yourself right and then obviously private investigators are looking for like marriage and

00:55:46.880 stuff but even the pi said there's some stuff like you can't i mean you can't know the only

00:55:52.120 way to do it is what i mean like single digit like there's um a phrase that they have it's

00:55:57.340 like assume all women are sluts but don't obsess there's a yeah because it's like how would you

00:56:02.740 there's a saying i say is uh every girl's a slut except my mother and my sister

00:56:06.020 so it's like it's it's funny right um but in hindsight you have to make her feel so comfortable

00:56:11.660 yeah because then she's gonna open up to you i've tech girls right that i've talked to that

00:56:15.520 just out of curiosity they're bottle girls or they work in the industry and they feel so

00:56:19.320 comfortable around me right and i'm like yo just out of curiosity like like you have to work up to

00:56:24.980 it right would you sleep yeah yeah yeah no way how many have you slept with right but they feel

00:56:29.100 so comfortable around me like i'm never gonna judge them right uh probably like 70 or 80 no

00:56:33.460 away that's super dope right in my mind i'm like crazy yeah but once they feel comfortable about

00:56:39.940 it like this if you were her gay best friend yeah she would open up to you correct yeah right so

00:56:45.020 they have there has to be a level of comfort to get the actual truth from these women so what are

00:56:49.320 the numbers you've gotten um so the ones that i've gotten right because like how many women

00:56:56.100 have given you these numbers like roughly a lot okay so um right on one end you have the girls

00:57:03.220 that work in those industries they're a lot of fun right they're gorgeous but the numbers are high

00:57:08.300 right 70 80 i talked to one she she was a friend of the one that i was hooking up with probably

00:57:15.100 like 90 100 so huge but you also have girls who are so what is that like per year like is it like

00:57:21.340 how many years does she sleep without a time you're gonna find this crazy it's it they're

00:57:25.260 young chicks are like 25 26 which is why do the math i don't know because average age you lose

00:57:30.200 you're virgin that's over 10 years right 16 to i think 25 26 yeah so like how many like when you

00:57:37.580 were talking to her like how many dudes was she seeing that week i could tell you this did she

00:57:44.240 like any girl no i could tell you this and you probably attest to it any girl could call a guy

00:57:48.040 at any given point yeah and the guy will answer yeah right and and girls have hormones too they're

00:57:52.340 not as horny as men but they have hormones right they they're like i think women are almost hornier

00:57:58.780 at the right time yeah when they're ovulating like i mean if you see women like they almost

00:58:04.580 like attack male celebrities like they sneak into their hotel room yeah you know what i mean like

00:58:09.680 yeah they're psychos yeah yeah yeah and so um that's what you see but you also get the other

00:58:14.800 tail end right of girls who did have that one or two relationships that were two three years long

00:58:20.300 right and you know maybe her body counts three at 23 or 24 you do have those type of girls for sure

00:58:28.380 right they tend to be more introverted reserved yeah type of girls um that's kind of like finding

00:58:33.800 a needle in a haystack nowadays but they're definitely out there right you just have to look

00:58:37.400 and when i say you have to look that's what guys aren't doing they're not going out there they're

00:58:41.560 not putting themselves out what industries would you tell them like or places would you tell them

00:58:45.560 to look yeah i would um my favorite spot to go to is usually like coffee shops right coffee shops

00:58:51.520 are huge especially with the remote work um culture going on a lot of guys work remote

00:58:57.100 especially if you're doing anything digital so any remote work get out of the house go to the

00:59:02.020 coffee shop right think about if you have an introverted friend where do introverts hang out

00:59:06.960 right because usually those girls are shy yeah right so they won't go up to that celebrity they

00:59:11.140 won't do it even though they might be attracted they won't do it yeah right because they're shy

00:59:14.420 right even if the hot chad guy comes and talks to her she doesn't know how to handle i know but

00:59:19.580 the introverted whores they do the biggest damage because they don't see it yeah they don't see it

00:59:23.840 coming but that's that's not saying all yeah but that's on the men that's for you being naive

00:59:28.000 i know i'm like the girls that do the most damage are like the intro yeah because the guys do not

00:59:36.020 funny you say that the definition of a heartbreak is when a girl behaves in a way that you didn't

00:59:41.300 think she would yeah that's heartbreak yeah because you thought she was one person and she

00:59:45.340 was not and so that matches perfectly right that's why they do the most damage you think

00:59:49.280 she's one girl but yeah well okay how long are they gonna go between like introverted chicks

00:59:55.480 i don't know the girls i meet with really low body count they recycle x's that's like their

00:59:59.640 thing yeah they so it's kind of like it's kind of like a double wham right would you want

01:00:02.700 i had one guy say that he likes those girls because he wants to be recycled that's so funny

01:00:09.100 he's like that i'm in for life he believes in climate change

01:00:11.980 go on though yeah uh so that's kind of like the what you face in the dating scene yeah it's what

01:00:20.500 you face um yeah it's just uh it's just what it is it is what it is we're not in elden times

01:00:26.460 anymore no i was just curious because you said the one girl had like 90 yeah that's crazy yeah

01:00:31.720 so like but how many guys was she banging at the time um i know she had i mean she opened her d

01:00:39.500 right she had you know probably what like 30 000 one to ten what was she like like nine eight oh

01:00:45.180 she was all done up okay right i mean you take those futures away it's like probably like a seven

01:00:49.420 yeah but um guys don't know guys can't even tell but they can't yeah it's even though they say oh

01:00:55.740 i know i can tell but if you put them in front if you put her in front of them they'll freak out so

01:00:59.180 tired of men telling me that yeah i know they say that they're like oh that girl's natural i'm like

01:01:04.380 yeah we've ran boot camps and guys are like oh i don't like that fake stuff and what i do on

01:01:11.900 purpose is uh because in vegas you get a lot of those girls yeah and then i introduce them to one

01:01:16.540 of them to a girl that's all done up and then i talk to him and i'm like yeah because i know the

01:01:20.940 girl but pretend you pretend you like him right just to see how their reaction is just so they

01:01:25.180 could get a reality check and i talked to him after i was like dude i loved her i thought you

01:01:29.420 said you didn't like that so a lot of guys is like they're okay with it it's just how they the girl

01:01:32.940 makes it feel right it's like at the end of the day it's like they got negative reactions from

01:01:37.020 those girls exactly again it's a coping mechanism yeah it's the association yep yeah exactly yeah

01:01:44.220 but so you tell guys to go to coffee shops that's the best place to meet introverted coffee shops

01:01:48.860 and gyms so this is my favorite girl is the girl that doesn't go out but she goes out for really

01:01:55.180 big special events right let's say she likes um george straight right country and george

01:02:00.220 she doesn't do many tours so she's like i cannot miss this tour right because i'm from texas so

01:02:06.020 i can't miss this and she never goes out but once a year she goes to that one event and she's not

01:02:10.420 there to hook up she's there for the event and she goes to the gym she's a good girl you have

01:02:13.940 those girls but the only way to find them is to go to these things to put yourself out there as a

01:02:18.180 guy yeah right and you're gonna see these girls if you go to those big events that happen once

01:02:22.260 a year right you go to formula one race right you go with the oh to you know pga or in scottsdale

01:02:28.620 whatever you do if you go to those big events that are really special and the girl might just

01:02:32.980 only go that time once a year that's where you're going to find those type of girls but again

01:02:36.460 if you're not willing to do the approach let alone put yourself out there yeah it's never

01:02:40.960 going to find it's not going to come to you guys have this misconception oh she'll come to me

01:02:44.280 eventually if i do everything right no she won't she will not she'll not come to you no the young

01:02:50.760 girls you think guys have to have snapchat now because i see gen z i'm like they like my sister

01:02:56.780 like they're all on yeah again i stick by it with everything in social media if you don't if you

01:03:01.600 have social media you're not monetized you're just wasting time on it it doesn't add to your

01:03:05.760 purpose as a guy i just delete it you know because all you need is a number to communicate

01:03:09.380 you know and at the end of the day if she likes you the only attention she's going to care about

01:03:13.700 is yours yeah she's going to crave that attention she's going to be calling you blowing up your

01:03:16.900 phone to talk to you on the phone right yeah so why do you need it you don't so what events would

01:03:22.920 you tell them to go to whatever they're into okay right so i mean if you like country music

01:03:28.060 you like formula one things that are unique that happen once a year even more so if they're in

01:03:34.020 other cities right um because the narrative i think if you're a well off if you're well off as

01:03:41.160 a guy and she lives in another city and you're in your 30s you can make it happen like if you can't

01:03:45.800 there's something wrong i've seen an increase in like distance relationships have you seen that too

01:03:50.280 yeah yeah yeah it's easier to travel um it's definitely cheaper mm-hmm right I

01:03:55.860 mean if a plane ticket two weeks out you get it for 90 bucks 100 bucks major city

01:04:00.300 to major city do you see like real relationships come from that usually or

01:04:05.040 yeah yeah so again everything depends right it's like not one I'm just asking

01:04:10.120 what you've seen you could say pros and cons so what what we see a lot is the

01:04:16.000 better the skill the guy has with women okay the better match he is we're like

01:04:21.740 he's a really good flirt right he makes him laugh he makes him feel comfortable

01:04:25.420 he's financially stable right he takes care of himself I'm not saying he has to

01:04:29.500 have the genetic lottery but he takes care of himself if you have all those

01:04:33.160 things a girl will go above and beyond to do things for you above and beyond

01:04:36.580 right that includes flights that includes her things start getting

01:04:41.500 serious her like okay looking for a job where you live her trying to figure it out with you

01:04:46.660 the girl if she really likes you will proactively try to figure it out with you the saddest thing

01:04:52.200 is when you meet guys that have never like had that they like don't think they don't they i know

01:04:56.160 they don't think it exists yeah so i and just off of that because guys when i talk like this guys

01:05:01.220 say no that's not true that that can't be real right or when i tell them this is the biggest

01:05:05.720 one i tell them it's like dude you could be probably pulling or meeting three to four girls

01:05:10.620 a week i know they're like that's not possible i know a girl that got an uber that was four hundred

01:05:16.220 dollars to go on a first date with a guy yeah that she just told him she was like in the area

01:05:21.660 and she wasn't and she ended up marrying him yeah i'm telling you i was like you don't understand

01:05:29.020 you don't understand women they will go above and beyond they will take flights they will drive

01:05:32.460 there they will they'll crawl they will do anything they will do anything once you're into them

01:05:37.580 they're into you yeah but they guys a lot of guys don't experience that they're saying cap i'm like

01:05:43.020 yeah no it's crazy i'm telling you i mean you saw it in the in-person training what did you see right

01:05:48.460 okay the interesting thing i saw um it black pilled me a little bit yeah the because the one

01:05:55.420 thing is like how harshly the fat women would reject the guys that were better looking

01:06:01.340 but then also like i mean you could tell like those of you that had like done it more

01:06:07.420 like you guys had better like interactions you know yeah yeah and it's a skill yeah it's good

01:06:13.060 but that's why i tell guys like guys cope a lot because they are afraid of rejection you knew that

01:06:16.800 one girl for like five minutes and then she went home with you from the pool party

01:06:20.340 and that's what i tell guys you saw us do it three times in a row yeah i did right and so

01:06:26.980 i tell guys right they're saying cap right now but i tell them come to vegas experience it yourself

01:06:30.760 but um he didn't have a yacht guys i'm telling you they always think i'm capping like they always

01:06:36.480 think i'm capping yeah guys i've seen too much yeah so that's what i tell guys going back to

01:06:42.540 like the fat girl rejecting the guy a lot of guys try to cope with it right we spoke about it too

01:06:46.900 it's like they say oh i won't approach her because she's below my level it's like well you don't you

01:06:50.960 can't even get that she'll probably reject you yeah right and so they self-sabotage by saying

01:06:55.280 i only approach nines and tens knowing damn well they're gonna get blown out by that nine and ten

01:06:59.480 yeah you know do you think that women because it's interesting like i've heard some dating

01:07:05.400 coaches say that they think that men aren't really competing with other men they're competing with

01:07:09.720 like netflix they're competing with like the latest event brunch like that sort of thing

01:07:15.240 like what's your oh you think they are i think they're what what are they thinking what well

01:07:20.040 how are they like like like for example if you ask a girl on a date on a dating app it's like

01:07:25.160 it's not like it's you or another guy it's like a date or like watching another guy sorry

01:07:29.080 i don't know what guys are coking with it's another guy who's taking i just i just take

01:07:35.420 the notes who is she watching the netflix with these guys are delusional so how much does a

01:07:42.940 girl have to see you for you to know she's like into you or you're not like side dude or something

01:07:47.040 no so you've ever been dating a girl and found out she had a whole boyfriend or husband no um

01:07:52.320 a whole boyfriend and stuff i try to figure it out ahead of time just because like on a

01:07:58.960 like do as you want others to do to you type deal if i know she's married or engaged or anything

01:08:05.340 they don't always tell you they don't always tell you that's a problem right i'll still i will not

01:08:10.000 talk to her at all right it's very attractive but if she doesn't tell me that's where it gets

01:08:14.600 tricky right because i'm like fuck right and as a guy you have a choice i tell the other guy do i

01:08:19.480 not tell the other guy right have you ever told them no no i did that's at that point girls are

01:08:25.840 so like you said vindictive right now it's steer clear of that that problem because again it's just

01:08:31.200 a headache if she's willing to do stuff like that behind her husband's behind her boyfriend's back

01:08:35.060 imagine what she's going to do to a stranger you know i snitched once and i'll never do it again

01:08:39.340 they stayed together and i was like now this is awkward yeah and even um and then i was the

01:08:49.860 villain and i'm like fuck you guys it happens it just happens but she's jealous i'm like you're

01:08:56.060 right i am and so it happens but you can't control like because women have game too yeah women have

01:09:01.700 game yeah right but to answer your question usually girls do have guys that are like oh i'm talking

01:09:07.460 to him and they're always measuring their options yeah they're always measuring because girls do

01:09:11.440 want to get married they do want to have even if it's just marriage and on paper like they don't

01:09:15.580 want to be a wife they just want to be married you've heard that right yeah um they do want to

01:09:19.200 married and so they always have the options going you'll know when a girl drops you or drops everyone

01:09:23.680 else when the level of attention significantly goes up when she's like can i come over today

01:09:30.080 tomorrow and she wants to stay over right she's calling you every day she wants to facetime you

01:09:34.560 she's texting you first that's when you know she dropped everyone right because that that takes a

01:09:38.320 lot of effort for a girl to be that emotionally invested into someone right usually what happens

01:09:43.280 is she has five guys chasing her and she's entertaining maybe one or two of them or three

01:09:47.520 right and how many would you say she's sleeping with versus like take going on dates like so what

01:09:52.720 do you mean what do you mean like entertaining so i've talked to you yeah a lot of women right

01:09:56.880 um and this is the funny part she might entertain like two or three where she's making them work for

01:10:00.880 it take me on a date do this right and those guys are not bad guys and i'm not saying they have

01:10:06.160 terrible games yeah or trushes they just thought they're just naive right but then she goes out

01:10:10.480 with her girlfriends and she meets the guy who she sleeps with yeah right and the guy doesn't

01:10:15.600 want anything right so that creates that dynamic that's the most popular it's like the foodie date

01:10:20.320 yeah exactly yeah and so you see that dynamic a lot and then she goes back she's sexually

01:10:24.400 satisfied right because she's left with this guy yeah and the other three are still entertaining

01:10:28.960 her and so it's a win-win for her she's just winning all around right and the chad's winning

01:10:32.560 all around he the other guys can like listen to her problems yeah and then what did the chad have

01:10:36.880 to do you're cute right here's a three dollar beer yeah that's so true here's my three dollar beer

01:10:42.800 and a six dollar uber have you ever had a girl come over like after a date yeah

01:10:46.800 so this is okay this is the most um and i think guys will experience i think the the bigger

01:10:54.820 the thought the more the crazier thing she does there's been times where the girl calls me in

01:11:00.780 front of her date and she's like yeah i'm headed over like in front of the date right so girls do

01:11:07.460 that type of stuff what like and did the guy know that she was no no who did he think she was on the

01:11:14.140 phone she called me jesse the whole time right think about it what is he gonna do as a date

01:11:19.200 right what i mean you just met the girl what is he gonna do well overreact most guys don't want

01:11:25.480 to be confrontation with a chick yeah but that has happened if that girls get dropped off at my

01:11:30.420 place after a date right and but this is this is also the thing that you realize for most guys

01:11:35.460 right when you're a high value guy you will experience these things um but yeah you do get

01:11:41.600 that what are they saying early chatting yeah they're they're saying they're just saying how

01:11:49.240 women play games that sort of thing yeah well they're playing games like what's the most savage

01:11:54.060 thing you've seen um well women do play games but that's because they are not playing yeah they got

01:11:59.260 to learn to play the field yeah you know and they they refuse to do it but um the most savage thing

01:12:03.860 from a guy or from a girl oh give me both all right for i love dating coaches have the best

01:12:10.380 stories from over the years for a guy i i have a guy friend who has a an apartment um but then he

01:12:18.080 has another apartment for his hookups that's just like whatever and he's married right that's bad

01:12:23.480 well that's yeah i mean i've heard of that yeah but for a girl you're so desensitized you're like

01:12:28.060 that's another day well i was like that's it yeah for girls each other for girls wait so what did

01:12:33.460 he do he just had a second apartment he just had a second apartment yeah and he would go out and

01:12:37.600 he would just like hook up with the girls there i think did he have a full girlfriend or something

01:12:41.320 no he's like married no i mean yeah but that doesn't stop him doesn't like did he have i mean

01:12:47.280 did he have side chicks or a full no yes i had everything okay but if you think about it like i

01:12:51.960 think let's say you as a wife right there's no way she didn't know there's zero way right but

01:12:58.620 the guy's loaded you know what i'm saying so i think she's okay with it you just might as well

01:13:02.020 assume yeah just assume assumptions all men cheating and all women are worse perfect the

01:13:09.480 world's gonna go nowhere but that being said i with girls i mean what i just said i think is

01:13:16.940 pretty savage um i haven't met girls like that but i've heard have heard on other podcasts like

01:13:21.520 the stuff like porn stars doing stuff like that that you know is pretty crazy but i think what

01:13:26.680 have you seen for girls that it's pretty savage because i don't have much info on girls right on

01:13:31.440 guys i do but on girls i don't there is a girl in school and she really really didn't have like

01:13:37.360 the reputation of a like she wasn't i mean she wasn't a prude but she was you know there's like

01:13:42.800 a scale right like she's in the middle i don't know like i don't know she'd have like a year

01:13:49.360 boyfriend then maybe hook up then get another boyfriend you know whatever so um but she dated

01:13:55.200 a guy freshman year and they like broke up and then by the time senior year came around she had

01:14:01.340 like a new boyfriend okay and basically we were at this like do you know what like a darty is like

01:14:07.060 a date yeah so basically i'm in line to go to the bathroom there and i'm like this bathroom's taking

01:14:13.100 forever i'm like what the hell and i'm like sitting there for like 20 minutes and then i see her come

01:14:18.460 out with the guy from like freshman year yeah even though she had the new boyfriend and he wasn't at

01:14:23.220 the part like he wasn't he was coming though so he came like right after and he didn't know his

01:14:27.660 girlfriend just got like banged out in the bathroom yeah yeah they're still together to this

01:14:32.140 day wow i wasn't about to say he has to know i what he has to know i don't know you think he's

01:14:38.140 naive yeah probably i think he has no idea yeah no because she was like she's a good family good

01:14:44.860 parent like i don't think you would really guess wow so that was pretty that was pretty like crazy

01:14:50.060 that was the craziest thing i saw like probably ever because you saw it firsthand yeah but she

01:14:55.820 didn't know it's kind of awkward because she didn't know i knew yeah because like i like

01:14:59.820 the way where i was sitting because there it was so long that like i was kind of in like they

01:15:04.060 couldn't see me and i was like that's crazy but yeah that's probably the craziest that's pretty

01:15:08.940 wild yeah but a little bathroom action i wish him well but do you know what i'd snitched the year

01:15:16.780 before on someone else and it just backfired on me snitching bro i stopped i learned my lesson i

01:15:23.420 stopped because they stayed together and it was so like now you're the bad one yeah yeah i'm like

01:15:29.900 i'll shut up yeah it never works like guys love to say yeah i hope someone tells me and like they

01:15:34.560 overreact and they blame it on the guy no but the half the time the guy stays yeah that's what i'm

01:15:39.140 saying that's the because it's like i think it's too hard for them to replace her a lot of the time

01:15:43.600 they don't want to see that's a problem i think yeah it'd be good questions to ask your chaz like

01:15:47.940 what's holding them back from getting better right it's like a lot of work right it's a lot

01:15:53.460 of work yeah but it's anything is a lot of work what do you think because some people are like

01:15:58.040 this isn't worth it like why even play the game like what do you think to people that like just

01:16:01.960 want to bow out you know do you think like for some people they're losers okay no i think i think

01:16:07.680 it's a loser mentality right it's like going to play a game oh why even tribe i know i'm not

01:16:12.720 going to win yeah it's a loser mentality right you want to change that mentality and that that's

01:16:17.640 probably the way they're looking at dating is probably the way they're looking at careers and

01:16:21.300 health yeah right oh i already weighed 300 pounds it's like neuroticism yeah it's it's a bad mentality

01:16:28.020 you have that's some loser mentality and that's a most guys watching is i hope if you're over 25

01:16:32.880 and you have that mentality this is a reality check for you that is the way a loser thinks

01:16:38.040 because you're not improving you're not growing and it's not a hopeless end no there is hope

01:16:43.620 you're just giving up on it because i guarantee you the same guys that are doing that have some

01:16:47.160 sort of simping behaviors online yeah right yeah i can guarantee you for a fact and so it's just

01:16:52.860 yeah it's cognitive dissonance on that level um they want to know what are some strategies we can

01:16:57.760 employ to reduce the chances of false accusations after dates yeah make her be into you right if

01:17:04.020 so this is what happens with a lot of the pickup world and the dating scene so because a lot of

01:17:08.260 dating coaches weren't versed on what it's like to actually have a girl attracted to you right if

01:17:15.700 you're a natural and girls have been attracted to your whole life you understand when a girl's

01:17:20.100 attracted to you right she chases you she pursues you right you get the what it's called the female

01:17:25.300 gaze nowadays right it's a new term so you do all these things but a guy that doesn't know that right

01:17:31.140 is getting taught it's like the blind leading the blind is getting taught by another dating coach

01:17:34.740 who also doesn't know how to experience that but he's trying to look at it from the outside

01:17:38.580 right but he's analyzing what the guy is doing from the outside and he's saying oh the guy then

01:17:42.660 touched her and escalated her when in reality the girl escalated on him first right she she broke

01:17:47.140 the touch barrier first she did all these things and so the way to avoid false accusations number

01:17:52.500 one is to make sure that well she is actually into you and that you didn't like push your way in

01:17:59.220 right a lot of times when i go home with a girl and my students do the girl's the one pulling him

01:18:06.020 right the girl's saying hey by the way i have vodka at my place you don't have a drink in my

01:18:08.820 place that's one right or she's like hey we could watch a movie at my place which is funny when a

01:18:13.140 girl pulls you back to her place when a girl doesn't work the girls come up with like the

01:18:16.820 dumbest excuses to get you back home right um so the girl's doing that that's 100 guaranteed that

01:18:22.580 she's into you she wants you there's gonna be no accusation right another thing i like to do

01:18:27.220 is make it an experience right take pictures with her right if you do have um snapchat for example

01:18:33.340 take a snap with her right have fun with her but you actually have to have fun again the the good

01:18:38.560 intention has to be there if you're on there on a date right if you're both on the same page i'm

01:18:43.460 either going to sleep with her she wants to just something casual we're both kind of like looking

01:18:46.560 for short term on the app they filtered it for that perfect then you know it's more likely both

01:18:50.940 casual right the problem arises when the guy lies that he wants a long-term thing but he knows he

01:18:57.160 down he's just looking for a hookup yeah right and they don't realize some girls are cool with

01:19:01.720 that some girls are cool with that yeah a lot of girls are cool with that yeah there's a reason on

01:19:05.560 dating apps short-term is an option looking for fun yeah if you filter by that there's literally

01:19:09.700 tons of girls that are looking for that yeah and guys don't understand that right one thing i like

01:19:14.340 to do when i you know have breakfast with chicks and something i was like by the way is that just

01:19:18.880 casual or do you like want a second date i asked them straight up do you want a second date or do

01:19:22.500 you want something casual most of the time they're like casual's fine it's up to you especially in

01:19:26.620 bigger cities you go to New York casual is the name of the game right in New

01:19:30.640 York City so don't be afraid of that if you go in there with that intention and

01:19:35.680 you're both on the same page number one it reduces that risk right and number

01:19:39.460 two take dating advice from people who actually gone girls their whole life not

01:19:43.900 guys who are analyzing from the outside that are misinterpreting what's going on

01:19:48.580 and the dynamic between a natural and a girl who's attracted you know to that

01:19:52.140 guy so be careful you take the advice from is number two for sure and what about like do you

01:19:58.100 think ring cameras getting texts and everything like that yeah everything right i think for

01:20:03.660 example when a girl's into you and i think guys don't realize that when a girl's into you she

01:20:07.260 will text you right and my you go on my instagram i have some posts of texts that i've received

01:20:11.220 hey jesse i really like you i don't want to lose you right hey when am i going to see you again

01:20:15.960 it's been a while right girls hit me up after a year hey i'm in vegas excuse me i'm in vegas can

01:20:20.440 we hang out okay so it's a chasing thing anything that implies that she's chasing you avoids that

01:20:26.580 dynamic right so what's another way of chasing right um when you take videos you could tell by

01:20:32.920 body language right when you see a guy and a girl together from the outside right girl you can see

01:20:37.760 when the girl's like super into the guy oh yeah you can see that right it's like have you seen

01:20:41.520 the revello or whatever yeah yeah yeah and so any chasing behaviors that she's displaying

01:20:48.200 right chasing is a harsh work because girls are like oh i don't want to chase or guys are like oh

01:20:52.780 i don't chase girls chasing nobody likes chasing that's what it is right you're just signaling

01:20:58.320 that you're attracted to someone right you're trying to mate mating call so anything that

01:21:03.520 demonstrates that whether it's through picture video voice notes text messaging that all works

01:21:08.620 and what are you like dating like a bunch of women what are the biggest mistakes that you see women

01:21:14.240 make uh self-sabotage is the biggest one okay for women um because women when they meet a guy and

01:21:21.440 they fall in love with that guy the biggest one is women like stability they like status quo

01:21:27.040 right and if you date because again i i the guys i work with are very high value driven guys

01:21:34.800 right and so those type of guys are always taking risk they're always aiming to be better and better

01:21:40.000 and work harder and harder right and so what you see is that the girl doesn't want the guy to take

01:21:45.700 those risks because it ruins her status quo or she gets insecure and says oh wait this guy's

01:21:51.400 going to leave me if he gets too successful and they get insecure about it right or they start

01:21:55.220 getting older yeah or they start getting older okay and so though they start self-sabotaging

01:22:01.300 their relationship right in many different forms it materializes by gaslighting um keeping the guy

01:22:07.240 down ruining it purposefully cheating on him right subconsciously girls night increases because

01:22:13.320 you're not giving me attention or whatever but she knows what is cheating subconscious how do

01:22:17.000 you subconsciously because she she she doesn't go with the intention i'm going to cheat right

01:22:21.960 but deep down she knows that she has to run the relationship because she thinks he's gonna leave

01:22:26.440 because she's gonna exactly yeah exactly so it's a subconscious it's like women's biggest fear

01:22:30.600 getting traded for exactly exactly so so it's a self-sabotage it's the number one thing women do

01:22:36.600 and do you think it's like um ever a valid fear like he might do that yeah it's valid it's a

01:22:42.920 valid super valid fear because um and this is why i think it's valid for women right because she knows

01:22:49.160 okay well he doesn't he's super successful he's always working on himself right yeah women are

01:22:55.000 throwing himself at him i'm only getting older it's normal right but i think this is where the

01:22:59.640 relationship right where you hang on to the relationship comes in you wear a different hat

01:23:03.160 This is when you sit down with her and you provide her with that reassurance, right?

01:23:07.500 Like, hey, babe, I know you've been saying these days about the success.

01:23:11.700 Are you afraid of me getting more success?

01:23:13.600 I have that open relationship with her.

01:23:15.200 Do you think it's going to destabilize a relationship?

01:23:17.760 Be open about it, right?

01:23:19.140 I really like how, you know, your concern, and it tells me a lot.

01:23:22.300 But you have to have those open, hard conversations with her and have that reassurance.

01:23:26.040 Because as men in the relationship, you also have to lead her emotions.

01:23:30.680 not just leading physically and stuff like that into a dream right um into like the dream journey

01:23:36.040 it's also leading her to realize her mistakes right it's also almost like coaching her like

01:23:41.960 hey no you're self-sabotaging i pick up on it because i'm more experienced than you and i'm

01:23:46.520 the man in the relationship i want to fix this that's the true leading in a relationship right

01:23:51.480 um and so you have to have that as a man for the relationship to work out because women

01:23:56.440 they're followers right they're submissive by nature and so they won't self-analyze to that

01:24:01.240 level whereas a guy if you do that that relationship is going to be very successful

01:24:05.400 so you actually recommend they have a conversation and have you seen that fix the problem yeah really

01:24:10.600 so again relationships are tough you're never going to agree on anything yeah there's always

01:24:15.400 going to be certain issues that come right that arise throughout your relationship right but the

01:24:19.800 ones that are successful are the ones that communicate it and there's ways to communicate

01:24:23.080 right communicating is not hey why the fuck are you doing that that's not communicating right

01:24:27.480 you have to start it soft right and um there's a way to communicate and the relationships that

01:24:31.320 do communicate and they are very empathetic to what the other person's feeling those are

01:24:37.960 the relationships that do really really well and there's a way to do it right because i talk to

01:24:41.400 guys not just hey i'm a virgin hey i yeah you know all those things so you do like long-term

01:24:46.440 coaching as well right i have guys that come to me and say hey my relationship's kind of like

01:24:51.400 shaky right now we talk about it right and they're not doing these things wait hold on

01:24:55.480 so in the past six months these four things bothered you yeah have you talked to her about

01:25:00.280 any of those four things no okay now what things have you done that you think might might have

01:25:05.320 bothered her there's this and this has she talked to you about it no but why do you think those

01:25:10.200 bother her because of her attitude so you guys have these things that are bothering each other

01:25:13.640 but you haven't discussed it no okay bring her on the zoom call all right let's really oh my god

01:25:19.240 so you do it with both of them yeah because that's crazy because relationships are not about

01:25:23.420 just hooking that's what i said right yeah when you start remember if you're a good long-term

01:25:28.220 partner the hookup is going to happen right right if a girl notices oh this guy it has his shit

01:25:33.720 together he works out he's polished right he you know he makes me he flirts good he makes me feel

01:25:38.940 good he's comfortable with me all these things and then you add on top of that and he knows how

01:25:44.140 communicate right wow i've never talked to an emotionally mature man man like this and she's

01:25:50.380 like i want to take this guy right and because now she feels so comfortable you displayed those

01:25:53.900 traits she has no problem sleeping with you you get what i'm saying so i'd rather teach guys how

01:25:58.940 to be good long-term partners and then learn how to hook up and build that attraction that flirting

01:26:03.740 for that and you become the best of both worlds for the for the girl and so a lot of guys miss

01:26:07.580 that a lot of guys don't have that and so that's why they aren't able to retain that really have

01:26:10.700 you ever seen a marriage that you would want marriage that i want so like a couple like it

01:26:18.060 was interesting i there's very few people i find that like have one that they would want i'm going

01:26:23.820 to read a super chat really quick but think about the question no loser here is my outlook on life

01:26:28.540 is a positive reality um you literally get paid in it and have an incentive to sell the reality

01:26:34.380 that all guys can achieve this but there's not enough desirable women in the numbers yeah i guess

01:26:40.540 as a loser it can do anything about it so good no but this is what i'll tell you about that

01:26:44.620 you need to build positive momentum to get out of that mentality you need to be surrounded

01:26:49.920 by people that help you build that momentum yeah okay think about it like this if you have that

01:26:55.920 momentum you're hanging out with david gargans right it's not gonna work it's not gonna work

01:27:00.800 right and so you need those people in your life right so the friends i hang out with because i

01:27:04.800 feel like that sometimes too it's normal yeah right sometimes i'm sure you feel like that too

01:27:08.380 problem like well it's fucking useless right and then growing up as a kid you might have done it

01:27:11.980 and your dad's like no no no shut up go right no i'm pretty blackpilled yeah you're like you're

01:27:16.960 like me yeah because we don't you don't sound you don't sound blackpilled though but i think like

01:27:23.020 oh so you think it's hopeless oh yeah i do i do i'm gonna let you like you know yeah so no what

01:27:28.860 i'm saying is like i just think like statistically it probably won't work out but i mean you can

01:27:33.600 have a good time for the time being yeah it's because like statistically these guys aren't

01:27:37.220 willing to work on it this is where this is where they fell off yeah but like tom brady could it you

01:27:42.100 know well that's different that that's so i know this is cliche that's different right but this is

01:27:46.300 what i'm saying to be fair leon i follow leonardo dicaprio's exes they don't do too well yeah i think

01:27:51.840 i think um what's her face is next um uh blake lively oh yeah she's 100 yeah next she's already

01:27:59.020 done yeah done yeah once they date leo they're done yeah the the news in hollywood lags no but

01:28:03.980 What I'll say is we can't incentivize young men

01:28:07.820 to keep that mentality.

01:28:09.460 You know what I'm saying?

01:28:10.440 We have to incentivize these men to think

01:28:12.500 that know they can do better.

01:28:13.960 Now, there's also a reality check where it's like,

01:28:16.300 well, dude, you're a six, right?

01:28:19.880 You're a six, if you work on yourself,

01:28:21.160 you could work yourself to a seven or an eight.

01:28:23.060 A guy can always date two or three points above.

01:28:25.160 Always, always.

01:28:26.780 But every guy can be above average or above average

01:28:30.120 if he works out, takes care of himself,

01:28:31.740 wears nice cologne, is polished, good haircut.

01:28:33.980 Yeah, I guess I'm more blackpilled on like marriage, but I'm like, but I do think it's

01:28:39.560 like the girl, women are giving up to everyone.

01:28:42.320 It might as well be you guys.

01:28:44.080 It might as well be you.

01:28:45.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:28:46.080 Like, you might as well, like, you could still, like, I met a fat guy at a bar or the other

01:28:53.080 and he was showing me his rotation and they, I mean.

01:28:55.340 He was doing well, right?

01:28:56.600 I mean, to be fair, I mean, they had sleeves and what, but they're pretty hot.

01:29:00.660 I'm like, it's probably good enough for most guys.

01:29:03.700 Yeah, and he's enjoying it, right?

01:29:04.900 But this is what I'm saying.

01:29:05.720 He doesn't have the victim mentality.

01:29:06.660 I asked him who his favorite was, and he's like, whoever shows up that night.

01:29:11.320 I like that guy.

01:29:12.720 Whoever shows up is what I'm saying.

01:29:14.100 Listen, I can guarantee you that guy's 10 times happier than anybody who has that other mentality.

01:29:18.800 You know?

01:29:19.020 What?

01:29:19.520 I can guarantee you that guy's 10 times happier.

01:29:21.460 But he's blackpilled, too.

01:29:22.900 Yeah, of course.

01:29:23.220 He just expects it's not going to be a long term.

01:29:26.060 Yeah, but he's probably never going to.

01:29:27.660 He's leveraging it, right?

01:29:29.040 One thing that I will tell you about marriage.

01:29:30.220 You can't change the world.

01:29:31.380 I just accept it.

01:29:32.400 one thing that i'll tell you about marriage and like that type of mentality is just it doesn't

01:29:35.920 try to improve it yeah you know i'm because the way i look at it is like i'm a fighter right

01:29:40.320 right it's like i want i want to improve the world because if i do have kids i want to have

01:29:45.520 a good world for them right and that just that that doesn't help right so again i'll go back to

01:29:49.140 the simping and stuff like that that's why i preach delete your social media of your simping

01:29:52.740 right if you're not monetizing it if you're not working on it delete it what's the point

01:29:55.880 yeah right go work on yourself right pick up that communication skills and now when i say

01:30:00.920 communication skills and attraction stuff like that it goes beyond women right because this is

01:30:06.040 what happens when i coach a guy right and he's doing better with women they get promotions

01:30:09.940 faster right because now they're more you know outspoken at work now they're more confident at

01:30:15.000 work yeah now they're better communicators at work now they're better public speakers

01:30:18.460 right now they have a presence when they walk into the corporate room they have a huge presence

01:30:22.420 right and so they climb up the corporate ladder oh yeah when men get female attention like it

01:30:27.340 changes their whole it changes their whole life correct and so the when i say like work on yourself

01:30:32.420 and do these things even though there is that um aspect of life where it's like it feels useless

01:30:37.960 but if communication has to be learned you have to be a good communicator you have to be good

01:30:43.100 at those type of things otherwise your whole life is you're going to be a fly on the wall your whole

01:30:47.260 life living like a victim yeah correct i don't like that yeah i don't i don't want to live like

01:30:51.620 that i can't no i can't sell that anything's gonna get better no i can't like no no i just

01:30:58.820 i want to ask you something so let's say you you had to do a rule you have to create a rule

01:31:03.100 globally and it's a felony and they break it what would be your rule to try to make things better

01:31:07.320 i don't think it can get better but if you have you'd have to uh okay sharia law i guess but

01:31:15.840 that's not gonna happen okay i just don't women have like too much power i don't see them giving

01:31:23.880 it up like women aren't going to give up power right there's no like and the thing is people

01:31:29.000 have to decide in life if they want to make eight dollars or two dollars because women make 80 percent

01:31:33.360 of consumer buying decisions so there's no incentive for things to get better yeah so

01:31:38.380 i mean the whole economy like i had an economist it and here yeah that's the thing i interview a

01:31:44.540 of people that are really in the field yeah and so i had an economist in and he just broke down

01:31:49.500 like how the economy is set up what percent of industries are funded by women and like the power

01:31:55.020 is just yeah i mean like they're not really they're building single family apartment complexes

01:32:00.460 like people aren't gonna women don't really what what it comes down to is women don't want to be

01:32:05.580 mothers and have kids and they're not nurturing and like people used to i think people used to

01:32:10.220 to have the presumption that like women were like the women aren't loyal and we see this because we

01:32:15.900 get the most freedom the line has been blurred right what the line between like female roles

01:32:20.460 and male roles has been blurred yeah so but i don't think that means you're gonna have a bad

01:32:24.940 life or you can't like date and have a good time you know like i'm i'm very optimistic about my

01:32:30.140 future right but but like am i gonna i'm not gonna sell that most people are gonna get married and

01:32:38.220 let me ask you this so for example would you rather a guy have the mentality like oh it's

01:32:42.380 useless or whatever or like the other guy who's five or seven had like a little rotation he was

01:32:46.300 like enjoying life oh people like positive people right i mean i don't think there's any point in

01:32:50.780 like like when i say i'm blackpilled i just am honest about where the world's going and when

01:32:55.580 you have kids you probably have to prepare that exactly they might go to school with kids whose

01:33:00.220 moms are on only fit that might be a reality imagine that uh it's probably gonna be like

01:33:05.100 one kid like only children mostly like my people as big as my family not really going to happen

01:33:11.260 that's the future i mean it's not necessarily bad yeah but that's that's what i see happening i think

01:33:16.380 it's definitely going to be some level of uh of split like almost borderline segregation for those

01:33:23.820 kids whose mothers are you know only fans girls and stuff like that i think it's so i don't you

01:33:29.580 think it's just going to be in everywhere they're running in politics now like there is a governor

01:33:34.460 that had a cam account or i can't remember if it was some high political position i think there'll

01:33:39.820 be someone elected in a high office that have an only fans that sometime in my lifetime wow i think

01:33:45.500 that will happen funded i think there will be a female president in my lifetime i think like

01:33:50.380 i don't i what is the incentive to stop the way it's how many like i know you did a study of like

01:33:56.460 how many girls were only fans but let me ask you this how many guys you think contribute

01:34:00.780 to only fans and like what generation right because i think that the real problem mostly

01:34:07.660 right so they did a study it's mostly white christian married men on only fans so it's

01:34:12.780 actually the married guys not getting laid so it's like the guys that tried to do the traditional

01:34:16.940 thing that kind of take the biggest l's because they're not really they're the guys you know

01:34:21.020 they're taking the girls on dates and you're seeing them after you know that's what i'm saying

01:34:25.300 too right so like you have to attack the problem ahead of time because then you're like you have

01:34:29.600 that mentality and you're like oh the girl's gonna come to me and then the girl gets picks

01:34:33.560 as she already had her fun and then she picks you right and you're like oh she's such a good girl

01:34:37.820 because she's such a good player of the game she knows how to hide all that stuff correct right and

01:34:41.880 you're naive correct and now 10 years later you're like oh i had to pay for onlyfans because my wife's

01:34:47.440 not having sex with me correct right and then it's a repeating cycle and then another guy sees that

01:34:51.740 and the same shit happens eventually he's gonna change his mind and then he goes back in that

01:34:55.820 loop and so I'm saying the way to stop that loop is to stop that mentality work

01:34:59.840 on yourself stop simping learn communication and get out the way well I

01:35:03.920 do think what you guys do is really important I mean that's why I bring it

01:35:07.280 like guys like you and there I've had a couple others on because it's really the

01:35:11.540 only leverage men have as other women and like being the ability to replace

01:35:15.740 when what else do you have as a man you don't have the police you don't have

01:35:18.380 media like you we have everything on our side men don't have anything so I think

01:35:22.820 that has got to change right for guys um where you kind of like stand up for it and say okay

01:35:27.700 how could i attack this problem yeah um but again guys don't want to put that work in it's a lot of

01:35:33.460 work and then you add on to that and that's why like the top one percent of men do deserve all

01:35:37.760 the women because they're putting all the work in right yeah they're putting in it's like they're

01:35:42.380 putting in what the financial the health all that stuff um bro had no answer for a valid point but

01:35:47.960 an ad hominem sorry i do have to read these um he's not informed um but he is serving a purpose

01:35:57.000 well sorry you're good um well i don't know i think it's important to be honest because you

01:36:07.220 actually give people solutions so where do you think people can like find you um instagram is

01:36:12.700 biggest one okay right and then youtube obviously cool it's jesse steel yeah so um well thanks so

01:36:19.100 much for coming on i appreciate it thank you pearl it's awesome being here um guys we just did like

01:36:25.900 a ton of content yesterday if you guys do want step-by-step solutions um to some of your dating

01:36:31.580 problems he went in depth and answered a lot of stuff so that's going to be in the school group

01:36:36.380 if you could just make sure it's the first link in the description um

01:36:39.740 um the so make sure you guys click that like the video on your way out and I think that's

01:36:48.440 we're gonna probably do a show later tonight so I'll watch out for that guys like the video

01:36:53.480 subscribe and I'll see you guys later bye bye

01:37:09.740 Thank you.

01:37:39.740 Thank you.

01:38:09.740 You

Pearl - May 24, 2025

I Interview a Dating Coach ｜ The Sitdown

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Summary

Transcript