Pearl - I Visited An Orthodox Church and Asked If Women Should Obey

00:00:00.000 hey i'm a degenerate so apparently yeah well you're better than me that no i'm not i am not

00:00:06.220 okay no but the man can't do that yes by the way yes girl i freaking love your content

00:00:11.600 thank you yeah so um never never give us respect we don't deserve it um really no we we sit around

00:00:21.840 all day and we uh we we abuse our power what's up guys welcome to my street talk series where we go

00:00:28.460 to different churches to find out their opinions on obedience. A lot of the comments last video

00:00:32.860 said I need to try an orthodox church. So today we're going to do an orthodox church,

00:00:38.240 St. Seraphim Orthodox Cathedral. We're going to find out what their opinions are on obedience.

00:00:45.560 Thanks for watching and let's get started. So we just want to know what the opinions here are

00:00:50.100 of Christian or orthodox. In this case, women should obey. Do you want to stand over here? 0.96

00:00:54.540 um and so if you wouldn't mind you could tell the people what you guys believe here

00:00:59.220 uh well the way i see it it's kind of a it's kind of two two parts to it because it's

00:01:10.140 it kind of comes down to where

00:01:13.380 yes you have it's women should obey their husband with discernment and 0.99

00:01:21.900 And it's also where women want to be able to follow their husband, follow a man.

00:01:36.420 But also in the same way, a man can't lead unless somebody's willing to follow.

00:01:48.060 So it takes both.

00:01:49.920 and a man is going to be happier and he's going to be it's going to fill with it's going to fill

00:01:59.820 him with joy too if he's able to lead and with a woman she's going to also be filled with joy in

00:02:08.540 that same way if if she has a man that is leading her and with love so what if there's a disagreement

00:02:17.580 in the marriage so she thinks that he is not following God and he believes he's

00:02:22.260 following God what would you tell the woman to do because that's a common 0.90

00:02:26.340 response I get here and I just think in a marriage there's gonna be

00:02:31.440 times where you know as a woman you think you're right he thinks he's right

00:02:36.120 right and that that's where there's the discernment and there's also the there's

00:02:42.520 There's also the thing of sometimes it's better just to, okay, let it go with this.

00:02:52.840 But it's also discernment how important it is or how big of an issue it is.

00:03:00.100 But in general, it's let the man lead in that. 1.00

00:03:08.300 But also there's a lot, women have a lot of influence with men and, and bring up, and

00:03:15.440 especially if it's, we're speaking to him and with love and love and adoration and with

00:03:26.460 a smile, there's a huge influence with that versus coming.

00:03:32.520 And it's where it's where it feels like it's nitpicking, no respect, nagging that that pulls off where there's resistance.

00:03:47.340 Do you think it's OK for a woman to tell her husband what to do?

00:03:53.700 No, it should because that's also not in that's not with love.

00:03:59.100 it's a thing of loving each other and in that sense too

00:04:03.340 where it's it's in both cases the man isn't telling his wife what to do

00:04:11.140 and the woman isn't telling her husband what to do instead it's it's leading where in both

00:04:19.960 both cases really truly loving each other and and trying to help each other to be better

00:04:27.600 and to grow. Do you think it's okay for a man to tell his wife to shut up?

00:04:36.160 In certain circumstances, maybe so. In general, you wouldn't want that, but in certain, well,

00:04:42.760 I'm saying in certain circumstances, I mean, in general, you shouldn't need to, in certain

00:04:48.460 circumstances, that's maybe the best thing and what you have to do. Why do women feel it's okay 1.00

00:04:55.600 to tell their husband what to do 0.98

00:04:57.240 and they would never do that to their boss?

00:05:03.620 Because they feel like with their boss

00:05:05.720 they have to deal with consequences 0.93

00:05:08.980 and with their husbands they don't.

00:05:12.900 And it's a sad situation

00:05:18.040 but it's where

00:05:19.680 it's a really sad dynamic

00:05:24.300 but there are some things that come into it where, especially if it's a dynamic where you have children involved,

00:05:34.080 so the man feels somewhat trapped because he has the responsibility to the children

00:05:40.760 and doing what's best for the children and wanting to keep peace and keep the best for the family

00:05:51.320 and not being in a situation where he feels like he can really stand up

00:06:00.200 and direct his wife where he needs to.

00:06:03.240 Whereas if you don't have that, it's easier to be able to say no 0.99

00:06:07.240 and be able to be in a situation where a woman will then feel like

00:06:13.620 if she isn't respectful and willing to step up for her part of it,

00:06:21.320 that he could walk away and leave. 1.00

00:06:24.640 So feminists often talk about how women are stuck in marriages. 1.00

00:06:28.660 However, I personally think that men, there's more men that are stuck in marriages.

00:06:33.660 What are cases that a man, like if a man has a wife that just is refusing to listen,

00:06:39.600 do you guys believe he can divorce her or no?

00:06:44.840 Like if he just says, stop spending money on Amazon,

00:06:48.740 and she says, I'm going to keep spending money on Amazon.

00:06:50.800 And because it's a real problem, right?

00:06:53.280 And for some high-earning men, it's not a problem.

00:06:55.860 But for an average-earning guy, that can almost feel like enslavement to her spending habits.

00:07:01.680 Well, that's actually fairly minor in the scheme of things with issues.

00:07:11.340 Well, it depends on what she's spending, right?

00:07:13.460 Well, if you're getting into extreme debts and things like that.

00:07:19.360 but then you can get into counseling with things and in the scheme of things that's still

00:07:24.880 no but she like fairly low compared to the she will not listen like it doesn't it could be 0.93

00:07:31.440 a different sin right but i just want to know what do you guys believe a man can do if his wife

00:07:36.540 will not listen like can he divorce or no some should just say yes some say no there's no right

00:07:41.600 or wrong answer we just are trying to figure out what they believe it's kind of in the depends

00:07:46.800 First, you need to bring it to others, like bring it to the priest, talk to them about it, counseling about it, and see if you get into, and it depends on the other circumstances going on.

00:08:06.500 But in the extreme cases, yes, and sometimes you don't really have a, sometimes you don't have any options in terms of that, where there's no respect.

00:08:23.040 Yeah.

00:08:24.020 Okay, so last question.

00:08:25.380 If the priest and the husband disagree, so the priest says this is following God and the husband says this is following God, they have a disagreement, who should the wife listen to?

00:08:36.500 it that falls into the situation discernment because you can have you can have priests that

00:08:46.900 are wrong about an issue and it can be where you ask another or discuss it it you can have it where

00:08:58.340 the all all people can make mistakes that way even uh priests uh and it's so it's it's a

00:09:06.480 Right. Everyone is flawed.

00:09:08.440 Yeah.

00:09:08.880 Everyone is flawed.

00:09:10.620 So it's a matter of discernment.

00:09:13.160 And also then if there's issue with that, maybe asking another priest or so too and to get clarification about it.

00:09:24.480 Okay, so she should go to another priest in that situation?

00:09:27.860 Well, yeah, or actually try to have it where they both go.

00:09:32.980 Where they both go together.

00:09:34.580 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:34.840 Then they'll see that the woman is lying.

00:09:39.140 Well, the biggest thing is truly loving each other.

00:09:46.500 And for a woman, she needs to be able to respect her husband.

00:09:50.660 And that's something I've noticed that is lacking so much in talking about marriage.

00:09:57.100 It's always pushing that the man is to love his wife.

00:10:01.440 But never the obedient. 0.56

00:10:02.460 But, well, it's not so much the obedience as the woman is told to, it's not so much to obey her husband, the wife is told to respect her husband.

00:10:17.520 And if a woman then can truly respect her husband, then the love should follow.

00:10:25.320 But it comes down to also, if a woman is not willing to follow her husband, it's impossible for him to lead. 0.69

00:10:40.940 Because it doesn't matter who you are, you can only lead if somebody's willing to follow. 0.93

00:10:46.360 Awesome. So, do you think Christian women should obey? 0.99

00:10:50.900 I think they should defer to their husband if there's a disagreement. 0.56

00:10:55.320 agreement, but I think they should voice their opinion. Do you think it's in a woman's place 1.00

00:11:00.180 to tell a man what to do? I think it's a case by case basis. What do you think of female led Bible 0.66

00:11:08.840 studies? For other females, I think it's fine. Okay. Do you think it needs to be overseen by a 1.00

00:11:15.640 man or no? Okay. No problem. Have a good one. Sorry. Say that again. I said you'll get the 0.95

00:11:20.400 least amount of people to participate between like right now and like 11 15 ish and then they

00:11:26.580 get out at 11 15 so yeah that's that's around the time they commune um the most english speaking

00:11:33.540 participants will probably be after that okay but actually i know who you are oh yeah so do you want

00:11:40.940 to give your thoughts um i mean i'm sure you want them on camera if i do give them to you but

00:11:49.020 But I pretty much agree with you and your idea of marriage and, I guess, like, the gender roles of men and women. 0.55

00:11:58.220 So you agree with the obedience? 0.98

00:12:00.860 Yeah.

00:12:01.300 Yeah.

00:12:01.840 Okay.

00:12:02.340 I don't think you're going to find a person here that's not on your side.

00:12:05.620 That'd be awesome.

00:12:06.500 Okay.

00:12:06.960 I feel like that.

00:12:08.400 Yeah.

00:12:09.060 Well, it's good.

00:12:09.500 That'd be, it's more of, like, a case study just to see what people's thoughts are.

00:12:12.800 Well, if you wanted some, like, hot takes, you'd probably want to go to that church.

00:12:17.400 Which one?

00:12:17.800 what do you mean like hot takes um they're a little more uh yeah so you're catholic right

00:12:27.260 yeah so you'll i'm not practicing though so that's okay you'll find more sympathetic people

00:12:33.720 at a catholic church and an orthodox church um but in terms of like being christian while also

00:12:42.320 kind of maybe not aligning with the frameworks of that that's going to be more like that church

00:12:49.280 i'm okay with covering like um people that give like an answer i agree with it's not just uh you

00:12:56.120 know it like i kind of hope every church i go to i only get people that say yes right it's usually

00:13:03.560 not the case right but yeah you know i if i get a if i get a congregation that just comes in and

00:13:10.400 says yeah that's awesome yeah well i guess my question is what happens when they disagree

00:13:14.340 because you know there are times where she thinks he's not following god and he thinks he's following

00:13:19.760 god i would say that's where the hierarchy or the ecclesial structure kind of comes into play

00:13:25.400 okay i think it's a pretty western protestant idea that all things have to be settled within just

00:13:31.400 like a family you know we have spiritual fathers we have father professors that

00:13:36.520 help us kind of, you know, both be realigned with God's will.

00:13:42.420 Well, what happens if he disagrees with, like, the priest?

00:13:46.140 The priest?

00:13:46.640 Yeah, so what if the guy says, I think we're doing it this way.

00:13:49.700 The priest says, no, you should do it this way.

00:13:51.400 That would be a pretty far departure from Orthodox at that point.

00:13:58.060 Not that you have to follow every minutia of what a priest says.

00:14:02.720 A priest isn't going to tell you what to wear on a given day or, you know.

00:14:06.520 Like, a good example would be head coverings.

00:14:08.660 Yeah.

00:14:10.620 Maybe at a more conservative church in Greece or not in the U.S.,

00:14:16.920 the priest might have a stated rule, like,

00:14:19.940 I'd like to have my parishioners, you know, wearing head coverings.

00:14:26.620 Here it's a woman's kind of expression of piety herself.

00:14:32.360 so i just the question is like who should she listen to if the priest and the husband disagree

00:14:38.560 i know you might say it's a far effect like a hypothetical okay um she's spending too much

00:14:45.580 he says to stop spending she says this is stuff we need for the family he says this is stuff we

00:14:51.520 don't need the priest agrees with her let's say that it's stuff that the family needs

00:14:55.940 stuff with families. We have too many diapers. I don't know. Um, that's a curious thing, right?

00:15:03.120 Like, you know, I'm just thinking if it's two men, it's just over 50 year period,

00:15:10.960 which you hope a marriage is going to be, I would just imagine there's a situation. Maybe,

00:15:15.880 maybe I could think of a better one, but where they disagree, right? It's two men. I've never

00:15:20.700 seen two men agree on everything. No, I've never in my life. Like this would be the first church

00:15:25.540 ever where there's zero disagreements so the question is who should the woman listen to the

00:15:30.160 priest or her husband or is it called a priest here yeah that's a priest um well it's like

00:15:39.360 even the priest has to submit yeah to a hierarchy you know um you know we uh the catholics have like

00:15:48.720 a dogmatic no divorce you can't get a divorce in the catholic church or at least it's called

00:15:55.480 an annulment yeah and it's it's uh by technicality you know they're um saying the marriage never

00:16:01.920 happened to begin with in orthodoxy um and i'm a lay person so anything i say about this stuff

00:16:10.040 there's a qualifier there but there is a acknowledgement of divorce right because

00:16:16.540 there is no sin that cannot be repented and forgiven and so and i i know this is a little

00:16:22.040 bit of a kind of around the bush way of engaging with what you're saying but um it's definitely a

00:16:29.220 sin it's it's not like something that's done with uh with the blessing of a priest like i said yeah

00:16:36.660 you can get a divorce i mean there's very very specific instances but um when you get a remarriage

00:16:44.280 or when you remarry someone else it has to go through the proper channels for that to happen

00:16:48.920 And you can't just have another wedding as an Orthodox Christian.

00:16:52.520 You know, you have to get the permission of your priest who then has to go and get the permission of the bishop.

00:16:59.100 And I think that's kind of what I'm trying to point towards.

00:17:01.520 For Orthodoxy in particular, there is this constant checks and balances that you as a faithful person are abiding by.

00:17:12.640 So would it then the answer be the priest then?

00:17:16.120 Because that's the question.

00:17:17.100 It would be the church.

00:17:17.880 It would be the church.

00:17:18.920 you know it's a more yeah holistic thing um

00:17:24.280 i know like you know where you've been on uh the whatever podcast or you you're friends with

00:17:33.940 andrew wilson and you guys have debated some very opinionative just disagreeable people on that

00:17:42.800 right um and in that framework in kind of like a secular sense like how do you apply any of this

00:17:49.900 how do you how do you really apply any christian paradigm to somebody that is unwilling to

00:17:54.300 acknowledge it to begin with so like i personally it's a bit of like a outside of the you know

00:18:02.980 christian take but i think that the red pill or like kind of the uh counter feminism

00:18:11.420 ideal it makes sense in that vacuum outside of this but we don't really have that here

00:18:20.960 i mean people are overcoming that you know like i have tons of female friends here you know my

00:18:27.760 my girlfriend like we had a life before orthodox christianity or just christianity in general and

00:18:34.080 you can get kind of spun around before that and have certain ideas about you know 0.93

00:18:41.520 Do you think it's okay for a woman to tell her husband what to do? 0.92

00:18:44.800 What her husband what to do? 1.00

00:18:46.140 I realize that now I'm on camera.

00:18:52.140 I mean, like, what's the extreme here?

00:18:54.860 Is he, like, not going to work and, you know, not...

00:18:58.160 No extreme, just every day.

00:19:00.120 Every day?

00:19:02.200 Help me with the chores, help me with the kids.

00:19:04.880 well I think you know um child rearing is is like a equally distributed in in the sense that you

00:19:14.140 know there's a realistic responsibility on both well yeah of course but it's it's not that's not

00:19:19.840 the question it's about can she decide what's enough what's enough these are kind of loaded

00:19:26.820 um like on one end if i say like yes i feel like that could be extrapolated to

00:19:36.000 you know then she's just going to be nagging her husband and that's in the bible and you know is

00:19:42.240 is a kind of not great um but if i say no like it's not like the husband is given this um

00:19:53.760 sort of free-for-all just do whatever you want and your wife just has to kind of bear with it

00:20:01.580 and i think what would be wrong with that what would be wrong with that yeah like i mean if 0.77

00:20:06.420 let's say we did let's give them a free-for-all guys can go crazy i mean women could go crazy i

00:20:10.860 mean both people left unaccountable to someone outside of that marriage like if men really went

00:20:15.820 crazy naturally wouldn't we be in cages or something because men could collectively put

00:20:19.740 Just in case, you know, I think men naturally do the right thing.

00:20:23.360 No, I agree.

00:20:24.680 You guys are pretty nice, you know.

00:20:27.120 I think most men are benevolent.

00:20:30.360 So let's call him Lord, you know.

00:20:33.520 What do you think of like a bow?

00:20:35.840 A bow?

00:20:36.480 I know about this meme.

00:20:38.580 I'm familiar with it.

00:20:42.660 Because that's always the pushback I get is like, well, we don't want to give him all the power.

00:20:46.740 I'm like, well, what would be wrong with that?

00:20:48.620 All the power.

00:20:49.740 Do you think you would be non-benevolent if you had all the power?

00:20:52.920 What do they say?

00:20:54.320 Absolute power is absolutely corrupting?

00:20:57.520 I don't know.

00:20:57.900 It's just weird.

00:20:59.180 This is kind of most of the people here.

00:21:01.100 This is their whole life.

00:21:02.760 They have friends outside of the church,

00:21:05.020 but we're not really engaging with things to this level,

00:21:10.620 contending with these questions,

00:21:11.820 unless it's like a catechumen that's very on the fence.

00:21:16.000 Well, I'd love to, if the priest wants to come out and answer,

00:21:18.420 he could give me the you know he might uh i wouldn't like try to stake too much on it um

00:21:25.160 you're just probably gonna have a better bet with you know western convert men yeah that's fine

00:21:29.860 coming out um but you know it there's there's a lot of important work that's being done

00:21:39.080 outside of christian orthodox christian apologetics and uh you know i do appreciate

00:21:44.880 like what y'all are doing i just think that uh

00:21:49.120 like if we're talking about like the fringe right like yeah you have i'm going to the amish next

00:21:57.000 are you really yeah yeah that's fascinating uh i think that ephesians 5 tells us that

00:22:03.600 the man is supposed to love his wife and i think part of that usually involves listening to his

00:22:10.100 wife um just like any good king listens to his subjects and his queen uh i don't i don't tell

00:22:17.380 him what to do but i make a lot of suggestions and i got a lot of irish blood in me so sometimes

00:22:22.360 that's more forceful than other times but ultimately i obey so he makes the final decision

00:22:28.780 you give your input when is telling a man too much to do like when does it become nagging

00:22:33.480 oh I think it's just person to person it it depends a lot on your relationship

00:22:43.380 but I mean if you've mentioned it again and again and again maybe give him some time or

00:22:52.180 give him some encouragement or give him some space to let him do the thing that you're asking

00:22:57.500 for or if it's at the heart of the matter he doesn't actually want to do it then get to the

00:23:01.580 heard of that and husbands should voice that if they're like no I actually don't think that's a

00:23:06.520 good thing to do that's their job what happens when the husband and the priest disagree oh like

00:23:13.980 who would you if hypothetical situation the priest tells you one thing the husband says another who

00:23:20.860 are you listening to well it's important that you get into a marriage with somebody who you're on

00:23:26.620 the same terms with. And we agreed before my husband and I got married that if we ever disagreed

00:23:34.100 on something, we would go to the priest, our priest, the priest that we had both chosen to

00:23:39.420 submit to and get his advice on. So we haven't yet encountered a situation where we disagreed,

00:23:46.440 where we weren't just like, okay, we'll agree with whatever, whatever he says, because we know that

00:23:51.700 The priest has our best interests at heart, and he's been charged by God to give us direction.

00:23:58.880 Why do you think this is such a controversial word?

00:24:01.380 You know, a lot of—I've had women scream at this sign.

00:24:04.360 Yeah, I'm sure.

00:24:05.480 I wasn't sure what the vibe was when I approached here.

00:24:09.080 Why do you think it's such a—I'm trying to normalize it.

00:24:11.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I agree. I think we should normalize it.

00:24:14.800 I think feminism, the whole 20th century, has made us fear the word obey.

00:24:20.360 I, even from Christian women, despite it being literally in Ephesians 5,

00:24:25.380 seem to have an issue with that word being used, which I think is odd. 0.99

00:24:29.800 But I think it's just been a lot of programming and brainwashing over the last hundred years

00:24:36.020 that have told us that that word is a bad word.

00:24:38.380 And I think they probably have either a Hollywood-construed vision

00:24:43.180 or their own bad experiences vision of someone, a man abusing that power

00:24:51.440 and making obedience look harmful.

00:24:55.740 How have you worked on obedience personally? 1.00

00:24:58.400 Because I would say most women it doesn't come naturally to. 1.00

00:25:01.360 Yeah, right.

00:25:01.880 So how have you worked on it?

00:25:03.900 Well, I started with, I'm only going, I started by becoming Orthbox. 0.54

00:25:09.260 And then I said, I probably am right now only going to be able to obey my priest and my husband whenever I marry him. 0.84

00:25:16.340 So far, that is still pretty much the only people that I'm good at obeying.

00:25:21.660 But I try and cultivate it just, I mean, I picked a good husband.

00:25:26.920 He's good at shepherding me in the right direction gently, as is my priest.

00:25:32.040 They both are good at laying down the law in a way that is helpful and gentle to me.

00:25:39.600 But I try and just look at them and realize they love me.

00:25:44.560 They want the best for me.

00:25:45.380 I'm saying they because I'm talking about my husband and the priest.

00:25:47.760 And most husbands, I'm sure.

00:25:49.600 They want what's best for me.

00:25:51.080 They love me.

00:25:52.200 And I can trust them to make good decisions.

00:25:55.700 So I most of the time need to just put down my will and my pride.

00:26:00.880 Have you ever had a situation where you really thought you were right, but then because you obeyed, you later realized he was right?

00:26:09.480 I'm sure.

00:26:11.080 Honey, what's a scenario where I've obeyed, and at first I didn't want to, but then later I realized you were right?

00:26:20.560 Almost anything to do with... 0.91

00:26:22.360 Men never remember anything.

00:26:23.580 Men never remember. I'm surprised I'm not remembering right now.

00:26:25.540 They have such short-term memory where we remember stuff forever.

00:26:28.240 it's usually still silly stuff i mean he's given me a lot of good advice on relational stuff where

00:26:34.960 if i was just

00:26:36.720 yeah yes dealing with family arguments or friend arguments he's he's really good at

00:26:45.720 he'll tell you to like stay out of it or something yeah stay out of it or keep peace

00:26:49.500 or be gentle in how you approach this or don't get your pride all mixed up into it

00:26:55.480 and there are times where in the moment that's really frustrating or as a mom there are times

00:27:00.680 where I get really overwhelmed and it's easy to let that just get to you and build up and

00:27:06.240 in the moment I do not want to calm down at all but once I consider that he's right and I've had

00:27:14.980 some time to calm down I can usually approach the situation better. Why do you think that

00:27:19.760 women think it's okay to tell their husband what to do but it's not but they would never do that

00:27:26.200 to a boss so in essence like you'd never go to your work and say do this do this do this to your 1.00

00:27:31.260 boss but women are comfortable doing that to their husbands they probably think well I think 0.99

00:27:39.020 they would say that it's because them and their husbands are equals and equals should be able to 0.99

00:27:43.880 tell each other what to do occasionally when you're in a partnership if their husbands actually

00:27:48.340 told them what to do they would probably get frustrated most of the time but I think it's

00:27:52.580 just been we've had a hundred years of uh people telling them the wrong things about what leadership

00:27:59.640 is and what their natural role is and it turns out that they usually don't respect their husband

00:28:06.560 after 20 years of their husband not telling them what to do yeah that's a big one that leads a big

00:28:11.240 one yeah that leads to some toxic toxic relationships terrible terrible terrible 25 years in they

00:28:16.980 realize how do you switch how do you switch that if he's never told you what to do ever right yeah

00:28:21.660 that's i think that's the reason for a lot of decline in in good marriages yeah unless a couple

00:28:26.860 decades so do you think that women are lesser than men no absolutely not we're all equal created in

00:28:33.540 the image of god it's not about uh equal worth or equal value equal image bearing we all bear

00:28:42.060 the image of god but there is a natural hierarchy and order to everything just like i don't believe

00:28:47.800 that my children are worth less than me or any less valuable i think they're the preciousest

00:28:52.720 thing on the earth but i tell them what to do yeah well do you think though if there's an order

00:28:57.540 that means men are above us like if it goes god men women children that men are and it doesn't

00:29:02.360 mean it's a bad thing right yeah i actually i'm with you i think yeah they are above us uh not in

00:29:09.060 a like they're worth more than us thing in that kind of way but they are above us just like a

00:29:15.200 boss is above an employee but it doesn't make either of them less valuable last question what 1.00

00:29:19.920 do you think of women taught bible studies women like women leading yeah women in a bible study

00:29:27.020 yeah well we're not huge on bible studies in the orthodox church anyway really we don't do a lot of

00:29:34.260 like sitting around and reading the bible together and coming up with our own interpretations

00:29:38.160 um if we're going to do a study there's usually a deacon or a priest leading that study or a

00:29:46.500 catechist somebody who's been decided upon by the clergy because they have a good head on their

00:29:51.680 shoulders and they're trained and they've gone to seminary so we're not we're not too big on just

00:29:56.520 sitting down and feeling like interpreting what the bible means to us that day anyway um but again

00:30:03.720 And a clergy position usually means a man, not a woman.

00:30:07.400 Thank God. 0.99

00:30:08.200 So, yeah, right. 1.00

00:30:09.260 I don't necessarily have a problem with women discipling each other 1.00

00:30:13.960 or reading the Bible and giving each other advice based off of that by any means. 0.98

00:30:18.340 But women-led Bible studies might be a weird one for Orthodox way to understand.

00:30:27.460 Well, thank you so much.

00:30:28.620 This was great.

00:30:29.360 Yeah, okay.

00:30:30.080 This was great.

00:30:30.600 That's it.

00:30:30.900 Thank you for asking.

00:30:33.720 hey guys we're asking people's opinions on obedience if you have anything to add

00:30:39.680 well i mean the man should definitely have um the knowledge and definitely should be

00:30:46.240 obedient to christ and then obey christ and so he can lead the wife and then the children and then

00:30:50.800 you know etc um being the head of the household so i think they should um and again it's not all

00:30:59.200 the cases that most husbands are obedient to christ right um and then you know they're lacking

00:31:05.760 certain areas who gets to decide if he's following christ who gets to decide who gets to decide i

00:31:12.660 mean i would say when you say who gets to decide what do you mean we say that well okay in a marriage

00:31:17.720 it's long yeah 40 50 ideally right yeah yeah right there's gonna be times where he thinks he's

00:31:26.340 following god an example i just thought of that's common his tone right a lot of women think oh

00:31:32.140 you're not following god because you're talking to me in that way yeah talking to that person

00:31:36.240 so she's gonna say you're not following god he's saying i am oh you're gonna go to the you're

00:31:42.360 gonna go to the priest you're gonna always you're always gonna go to the priest yeah so what if the

00:31:46.860 priest um and the man disagrees the priest and the man disagrees so let's say she goes to the

00:31:52.940 priest and the priest says you know what your tone was terrible you gotta stop that tone and then he

00:31:58.880 goes to the priest and he says i don't i don't agree with you yeah yeah now what i don't it's

00:32:05.640 i've never seen that before i don't know that's a hard case um i've never seen two men agree on

00:32:12.600 everything right but then again you're supposed to when it comes to like the priest and then like

00:32:17.700 the clergy you're supposed to um they're your spiritual fathers right so they're gonna be

00:32:22.860 ones that are going to be helping you or guiding you right um to christ and then also helping you 0.54

00:32:28.460 you know through your your walk so being ignorant or being arrogant and saying oh well i disagree

00:32:34.240 with you and just being overall you know confrontation just not annoying but you know 0.97

00:32:40.680 what i mean um arrogance that the priest the head of your household not you not necessarily i think

00:32:47.900 there's gonna be a distinction um between within the church and then also within oh uh within the

00:32:54.780 church and then also within your family um you know as the wife and the husband um i don't think

00:32:59.720 it's gonna be on the same uh thing right i think there's a distinction between it both so what do

00:33:05.820 you think about a woman it's gonna take a minute it's yeah it's only maybe a minute or two uh it's

00:33:14.140 Yeah, it's because communion is being served. 1.00

00:33:17.320 Oh, okay.

00:33:18.020 So. 1.00

00:33:18.760 Damn. 1.00

00:33:20.520 Hey, give it a second. 1.00

00:33:26.580 There you go. 0.97

00:33:27.560 So, oh, do you think it's okay for a woman to tell her husband what to do?

00:33:33.680 I believe the woman can, yeah.

00:33:35.300 I mean, like, if the husband is doing something that's not the smartest, yeah, the woman should definitely speak up and then definitely guide her husband.

00:33:42.320 I think that's the point.

00:33:43.060 they're supposed to be working together it's a collective right it's not just uh the man doing

00:33:47.440 everything but it's also the wife supporting the man and helping the man and making sure that he's

00:33:51.340 in the comfortable place or right mindset to guide the household wouldn't that mean that the boss if 1.00

00:33:56.560 she had a boss she would never tell him what to do so in a way wouldn't a boss get more obedience

00:34:01.160 than the husband if she's allowed to do that you said a boss like a like a job kind of i work for

00:34:06.360 myself but i used to work for like a copier company yeah even if i thought my boss had a

00:34:11.360 stupid plan yeah i could not say i think like everyone's had a boss you can't say anything 0.94

00:34:16.160 you can't tell them what to do and if you can you risk losing your job right there's a there's a 1.00

00:34:21.500 level of respect that you have to have yeah of course what do you say by that logic that she

00:34:26.760 would have more respect for a hypothetical boss than her husband if she can tell her husband what

00:34:31.100 to do but like i don't know so okay hold on let me just get a second yeah i'm thinking about a

00:34:37.840 little bit yeah it's a good question it's a good question yeah but okay so um would he she have 0.95

00:34:45.520 more obedience to her boss over her husband because she's um able to tell or she's not 1.00

00:34:51.760 going to be the one to tell the boss what to do right in her job but she's able to tell her

00:34:55.920 husband what to do so obedience you have more obedience um not necessarily i don't think

00:35:03.740 having to tell somebody what to do like tell like shows you or tells you how much obedience they have

00:35:11.240 to someone in a sense i don't know i don't think that's the same thing

00:35:15.760 you know until you tell someone like you don't know if an employee is good until you tell the

00:35:20.620 employee what to do and they work or they don't work right you know yeah but i think when it comes

00:35:27.420 to like a a job such as like a i don't know say like walmart or something i used to work at walmart

00:35:33.720 so like walmart i mean you can give suggestions to your boss i mean when you say like tell them

00:35:41.060 what to do it make it sounds like it's like aggressive or like in a demeaning way right

00:35:45.640 you could just like give a suggestion like hey you shouldn't maybe this is a better idea or maybe

00:35:49.680 we should do this and then maybe give some um understanding behind it i think you could do

00:35:54.720 that both for your job and your husband right i don't think it's a bad thing i think you can give

00:35:58.880 suggestions right but there's a limit you know what i mean like you can only come on like you

00:36:03.780 can't like a limit yeah i had a boss okay copiers right okay and he would give us a plan and i

00:36:10.040 could say well uh based on my experience this is a suggestion i would have but there's no way in

00:36:16.820 hell i could say you should do this or you should do that it would actually be like completely out

00:36:21.780 of line yeah but that's yeah yeah that's what i'm saying again but like when you're and i see where

00:36:26.660 question that's actually a really good question you ask uh yeah so like you could say in a sense

00:36:31.760 if you are in a job scenario the woman she would be um i guess more obedient in a sense of the

00:36:43.580 workplace when she's working in her job but within marriage i think that's a completely different

00:36:50.360 thing because you're supposed to work together it's not like it's not like the men is over the

00:36:56.100 woman and like value or some sort of like it's not in value right so like this is supposed to

00:37:02.980 be helping each other i believe at the end of the day um what would be wrong with that if we said

00:37:08.460 the men are more valuable like what's wrong with that oh well no god created this all in his image

00:37:12.680 like i don't think that any of the fathers teach that men are more valuable than women we're all

00:37:17.420 creating an image of god so we have the equal and same value but then wouldn't we have to provide

00:37:22.960 the same value like to society and stuff provide the same value to society yeah because if you say

00:37:27.620 we're equal in value then like wouldn't we be able to provide the same value i don't know what

00:37:32.360 that means i'm not sure what that means like a boss is harder to replace than an employee right

00:37:38.260 in general yeah you're working for walmart yeah easier to replace the employee yeah than it is

00:37:44.060 to replace the guy who runs the whole thing because it's right right so isn't it kind of

00:37:48.320 similar with the husband and wife? Like it's harder to replace the husband than it is the wife?

00:37:53.060 No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so. Um, I mean, I replaced the husband and the wife. No,

00:38:00.820 not, not at all. No, I don't have like a long response for that, but I don't believe so. No,

00:38:06.340 that's what do you think about women? Um, I don't think that was wrong with that. Yeah. Um, 1.00

00:38:13.360 I mean, we have women that teach the children, you know, in the Bible studies for the children in the school.

00:38:21.020 So, yeah, no, there's nothing wrong with that. 0.79

00:38:22.700 Do you think it needs to be under the headship of a man or the woman can just do it on the head? 0.99

00:38:27.240 Well, no, it's always going to be a ruling of authority within the church.

00:38:30.660 So it's always going to be, you know, the bishop, the priest, the archpriest, the deacon.

00:38:34.840 And then, you know, you have teachers.

00:38:36.620 And then, yeah, it's always going to be under some sort of hierarchy, in a sense, within the clergy.

00:38:41.600 So that's always going to be it.

00:38:43.360 Perfect. Well, thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. What's your name? Hey, my name's Sierra. And how long have you been in the Orthodox Church? I am not baptized under the Orthodox Church. So I'm not formally like a catechumen, but I'm very interested. Okay, I'm a Christian. Okay, so what are your thoughts on obedience? Do you think Christian or in this case, Orthodox women should obey their husbands? Yes, no, why or why not? No right or wrong answers. We're just trying to figure out what people do.

00:39:13.360 believe here yeah um i believe mankind as we are inhabiting this flesh is very flawed man woman

00:39:25.800 whatever um so i think if a man in a marriage um is obeying his higher power is a good steward of

00:39:40.940 the flesh and a good steward of a woman and their family. I think it can be a really beautiful thing,

00:39:46.120 but I think a lot of earthly marriages are extremely flawed due to the bodies that we

00:39:52.520 inhabit. We're prone to doing things that are selfish. I mean, humans are inherently pretty

00:39:58.240 selfish. So I think a lot of these people would say yes. I think it's an interesting question.

00:40:07.460 Have you gotten a lot of people talking?

00:40:09.220 Yeah, I've gotten a decent amount.

00:40:10.900 I'd say overwhelmingly here is the most yeses I've gotten at a church.

00:40:15.460 So my question is, if the woman thinks he's not following God and the man thinks he is,

00:40:20.740 should she still obey? 0.58

00:40:24.220 Like, let's say she doesn't like how he's talking.

00:40:27.060 I think that's a common thing. 1.00

00:40:28.320 Women don't like how the man talks.

00:40:30.540 They think he's being disrespectful or rude or whatever. 0.97

00:40:33.500 Do you think, like, in those cases she should still obey?

00:40:37.460 um i think a lot of times we

00:40:42.040 whether you're a man or a woman um have duties to perform like if you have children there's a lot

00:40:51.580 of moments where you show up and you are present in a relationship when you don't really want to

00:40:57.800 be when it's uncomfortable for you when you'd rather go to sleep or when you would rather do

00:41:02.460 the easy thing so I think sometimes if you've agreed to that union and you've agreed to be

00:41:07.440 devoted to one another so long as there's not like anything extreme anything extreme I think 0.98

00:41:14.100 when it's like abuse verbal emotional sexual physical I think that's a point where the feminine

00:41:20.540 needs to be protected there's a reason why mankind feels like and a lot of women a lot of modern

00:41:27.140 women like I was definitely in like new age like all the stuff for a long time because it's like

00:41:32.760 you don't feel safe around men a lot of the time for a lot of women and it's like the narrative

00:41:40.200 is pushed that like oh men just want to use you and all this stuff and the narrative is kind of

00:41:44.700 like for modern women is like you need to protect yourself or or do whatever you want be like a man

00:41:50.860 and it's like it's damaging I think I think there's um there's a lot of benefit to looking

00:41:57.260 back at what humans have done for a long time and seeing the areas where we can benefit from

00:42:02.000 traditionalism and like those kind of things but there's also like advances in the modern world

00:42:09.000 that we might need to integrate so what do you think do you think she should still obey

00:42:13.480 yeah yeah yeah um if it's not abuse and if she's still in open communication with her husband

00:42:24.180 I think that's great I mean like if they can communicate and she can say hey maybe you need

00:42:29.440 to look into what your beliefs are and maybe we're not aligning on this then I mean I don't

00:42:35.600 know I'm I'm a therapist intern so like I feel like people can talk through a lot of things 0.98

00:42:40.780 but yeah it's case by case do you think it's in a woman's place to tell her husband what to do

00:42:47.540 I think it's in both people's place to like give feedback honestly so don't you think that

00:42:55.780 then you're giving less obedience to your husband than your boss because you don't give your boss

00:43:00.180 feedback right yeah yeah do you think the man is the boss and the woman is subservient

00:43:06.220 I try to stay impartial, but I'll tell you after I'll tell, I want to go through it.

00:43:11.200 You're supposed to, yeah, yeah. I gotta, I gotta get that. I don't like them to influence,

00:43:14.920 you know, but I could tell you after. Um, what do you think about women taught Bible studies? 1.00

00:43:21.200 I mean, it makes a lot of more, like a lot of women more comfortable. Um, I think a lot of 0.95

00:43:28.040 women, a lot of people come to the church in crisis. So like a lot of women who are sexually 1.00

00:43:33.200 assaulted or anything like that will come to the church and it's like yes it's wonderful having

00:43:39.020 these masculine figures that are not living for their flesh so you know you're safe around them

00:43:45.460 they're not going to manipulate you to get something out of you in your flesh but I think

00:43:50.000 it is a lot more comfortable especially for people who are not religious to be able to go 0.95

00:43:56.280 speak to women um traditionally I guess that's not what the people who are supposed to be the

00:44:04.300 leaders but I mean it's better than nothing what do you think what is emotional abuse you said

00:44:11.420 that earlier like what would be you said as long as he's not emotionally abusing her like what does 0.89

00:44:15.620 that look like I think like if a woman is like hey like um I don't like the way you yelled at

00:44:24.220 children today and he's like well the way you were raised was wrong and the way I am is right

00:44:30.360 so we're gonna move forward like this and she's invalidated in feeling like not feeling good

00:44:37.060 and that's emotional isn't that just like him having authority or like I see a lot of

00:44:44.420 I shouldn't give any like personal examples you can it's okay um because you're you're a therapist

00:44:53.580 so you probably see a lot right yeah well i'm in training and i'm at like a i'm at a women's

00:44:59.820 center so there's like a rape crisis section there's general counseling and then we help

00:45:04.060 get people employment yeah um so we provide a lot of good services to primarily women

00:45:09.260 and i think emotional abuse technically is just saying like if you told me how you feel and i

00:45:17.020 I immediately am unable to come down and be with you and be where you are and say, okay, I will

00:45:25.420 listen and I will be with you. And I think that's what a marriage is. It's committing every single

00:45:30.600 day to, I will listen and I will be with you, whether or not that sounds good or feels good to

00:45:35.140 me, man or woman. Yeah. But wouldn't like, if we're going, it's on a hierarchy, right? So God,

00:45:40.900 man woman children right do you really like I kind of disagree because like if you're a boss 0.82

00:45:47.320 and you have an employee you don't really care how they feel you either listen or you don't

00:45:51.600 and if you do think that marriage is a hierarchy some people think it is some people think it isn't

00:45:56.540 right but that to me leans more equal like if someone's your equal then you listen to all their

00:46:01.680 takes how they feel if someone's your subordinate which you might believe you might not then you

00:46:06.840 tell them what to do and they either listen or they don't. Right. I think for me, I do believe

00:46:12.760 a marriage should be equal, whether that's biblical or not. Okay. So whether you agree

00:46:16.840 with me or not, I do think a marriage should be equal. Um, because the, the biggest, most

00:46:23.180 powerful thing you can do is be the little guy at times. Yeah. Sometimes you have to be the little

00:46:30.460 guy. Um, we're all seeking power to some degree or the other. I mean, like Christ, we see the

00:46:38.700 complete sacrifice of everything. I mean, he was completely destroyed by humanity and he was

00:46:44.320 sinless. So I think sometimes the biggest thing you can do is be the little guy. Um, and that

00:46:50.740 goes for both parties because I think an imbalance of power, whether on either side is an issue. So

00:46:56.960 I think gunning for equality is the best thing we can do. I'm sure you speak to people who are more like misandrist to misogynist to I don't know if you believe in those terms. But yeah, I believe in equality. But I was raised by very like people like my parents are very loving, open people. They'll go to the churches that are like more interpretive. We've been to like Buddhist churches.

00:47:26.960 um so like maybe i was raised like i wasn't raised with like a you have to do this look it's there's

00:47:33.760 no right or wrong answer everyone's got a different opinion right so you know i just like to go to the

00:47:38.080 churches to figure out what they believe so and ask firsthand okay so um what do you think about

00:47:45.140 women taught bible studies yeah you asked that one i was like yeah i just think if you can provide

00:47:52.680 a comfortable space for anybody to come to the truth which I think the truth is love and Christ

00:47:59.340 taught us that it is love and to love one another I mean there are people I absolutely could not get

00:48:04.720 along with politicians whatever and it's like dude I have to look at that and be like I love you

00:48:10.100 anyways like yeah I don't know I think we need to protect women and children in the ways that

00:48:17.840 we can and protect minorities. What do you think about, so at this church, do you think they do

00:48:22.840 that here? Yeah. Yeah. I think women are revered in the Christian church more than in any other

00:48:29.200 Abrahamic religion. Um, I think understanding the Theotokos, the, um,

00:48:37.960 immaculate conception in the Virgin Mary, I think is really beautiful. And knowing that like,

00:48:43.120 i mean man and woman were made to be in a partnership and to love one another and that

00:48:49.440 could be i mean people interpret the bible all different ways so if the priest and you're like

00:48:55.360 let's say you got you married a nice orthodox guy here you're stacy you found your chad

00:48:59.920 and um so he says one thing the priest says another who are you going to listen to

00:49:07.980 like probably the priest do my own readings uh and that's the thing is I'm still flawed I'm still

00:49:17.420 stuck in this body so like I'm gonna figure so you don't even know if you're right you know

00:49:21.140 dude I have five senses yeah I have five senses I'm aware of three dimensions but when it comes

00:49:26.500 down to it you'd listen to the priest over the husband probably I think they're more in tune

00:49:30.500 with the divine than I am or my husband like we've been I don't know I haven't meditated or

00:49:35.980 prayed that long. Yeah, you're new. That's okay. They probably know. No, I mean like the priests

00:49:40.100 in the church. They know more than me. Yeah. I think everybody probably knows a little bit more

00:49:45.140 than me and God knows everything. So I'm like, I cannot understand the will of God.

00:49:51.660 So there's an idea that like a lot of women with crazy pasts go to the church. 0.97

00:49:57.300 Okay. Do you think that's true or untrue? I think it depends. I think people with pasts

00:50:04.080 come to the church I think people of the past continue to do uh debaucherous things um

00:50:11.040 yeah I don't know like there's just online there's a big wave of like porn stars and I'm not saying

00:50:17.180 I doubt I doubt there's porn stars here right but maybe there's always a chance for anything

00:50:23.840 um but I'm just curious if you think that's a true sentiment or an untrue because I like to test you

00:50:30.640 know are the things online true with people in real life right well one thing I like about people

00:50:38.980 coming to the church from the porn industry I think that is the most like evil like I mean

00:50:47.960 love everyone I hope they find what they are looking for everyone is seeking love in one way

00:50:53.860 or another. Um, corn absolutely breaks my heart. It breaks apart families. It breaks apart so many

00:51:00.480 things. Um, and I respect people leaving and moving forward. I think the redemptive love

00:51:07.980 of those in the church is wonderful. I mean, it's like, I don't know, what do they say? It's not a,

00:51:14.180 not a house for saints. It's like a hospital for sinners. Okay. So at this logic, right?

00:51:20.240 right would you be okay with an ex-pedophile who's repented coming to church see dude that's

00:51:25.720 the thing so the question is why are we okay with ex-porn stars being around married men 0.96

00:51:30.980 um i don't know they're not having sex with the men in here well they might try i don't know 0.96

00:51:38.120 okay well they're porn star you know what i mean i know if it's a man of god then he's gonna say 0.98

00:51:42.880 i'm i'm good off that yeah but it's kind of like throwing temptation in their fit you know what i

00:51:46.860 mean it's like temptation you can walk out on the street okay it's temptation but so you'd be okay

00:51:52.120 with the porn stars coming sure okay you'd have no if there's by your house she sits down next 1.00

00:51:57.660 to your husband dangerous like is does she have a gun not i mean she just likes to get naked you 0.99

00:52:03.760 know right right right you have you found your you found your chad he's sitting there now this 1.00

00:52:09.940 this bombshell porn star sits right down i'm sure she's a body and i'm sure she's a body

00:52:14.900 um that's the thing is if people are reformed they're in here are you always moving spots 0.95

00:52:22.580 no i'm chilling okay i'll sit next to anybody i'll talk to anybody okay uh let me think let

00:52:28.900 me think and the pedo is he okay that's the thing it's like if you don't you could say you don't 0.70

00:52:33.500 know it's if you don't know you can say that too because i don't but like pedophilia is like

00:52:38.660 i just studied in a human sexuality course about different paraphilias and it's like 0.84

00:52:43.960 I'm so that must suck to be like oh I'm attracted to children that must suck but he's not acting on 0.87

00:52:51.200 it anymore if he's not acting on it then that's different I don't know just don't act on it we 0.97

00:52:56.480 all have things that we want to do that we don't act on like I'll have intrusive thoughts like

00:53:00.380 run this car off the highway but I don't do it yeah thank you what is this oh holy bread how are

00:53:06.640 you doing good how are you good I think I've seen you on YouTube before you might have what are your

00:53:11.500 thoughts on the question should christian it's it's so vague as to it's a complex it's a complex

00:53:16.840 question and really i don't think so should they obey their husbands the answer is yes of course

00:53:22.400 other times when they shouldn't of course you know so i mean it's just like should christian 0.77

00:53:27.340 women obey the state well you have to right or they throw you in jail no you don't have to

00:53:33.320 pay the price but i mean is that yeah but if you get to get in jail they obey should they obey 0.92

00:53:39.280 social convention or whatever's latest come down I mean it's just it's fun but yeah we'd rather have

00:53:46.360 you join us in for worship well I'm just you know if I join I got to know what you guys believe about

00:53:51.820 the obedience oh yeah of course I mean the scriptures line that out but it I mean that's

00:53:56.200 just the Christian faith but so of course but there's times when no you don't if he compels

00:54:03.900 you to sin I mean I've never not my recollection ever required my wife or family to sin you know

00:54:10.740 so we should trust I know I'm sure I do no I'm sure I have I've sinned but but I'm saying I

00:54:15.340 haven't well yeah you do there's always a level of trust you trust the cop that pulls you over

00:54:19.680 you trust your senators which you shouldn't congressmen which you probably shouldn't because

00:54:24.780 they're they're bought and paid for so I mean it's um but but I mean the question is is is so vague

00:54:31.700 I don't think it's vague at all.

00:54:34.440 No, it's most certainly vague.

00:54:36.080 It says, should they obey their husband?

00:54:37.600 So the answer is, well, depending, yes or no.

00:54:40.260 So, I mean, there's no one right answer, no one wrong answer.

00:54:44.320 It's too utilitarian.

00:54:46.820 Well, so who gets to decide?

00:54:48.540 Well, I think that God decides that.

00:54:52.800 And that has been handed down through the Holy Faith.

00:54:55.840 And we know what that answer is, is that women submit yourselves to your own husband, not to every other guy.

00:55:01.100 I guess because my question is a lot of times like marriage is long

00:55:04.060 and there's just going to be times where the woman thinks that he's not following God

00:55:08.680 and he thinks he's following God.

00:55:10.220 Like one example.

00:55:11.300 The state is not following God, but I'm required to obey unless you require me to sin.

00:55:15.040 So the same thing follows.

00:55:16.180 Okay, awesome. 0.56

00:55:16.960 So you would say that she is required to obey.

00:55:19.300 Yes, of course, unless she is being compelled to sin.

00:55:22.440 And the answer is, of course not.

00:55:23.860 She obeys God rather than that.

00:55:25.460 What happens if the priest and the husband disagree? 0.99

00:55:30.340 Who should the woman listen to? 0.61

00:55:31.420 What's he talking about? 1.00

00:55:32.500 Physics or?

00:55:34.040 No, on obedience, right? 0.60

00:55:36.280 So maybe one example would be the husband wants the wife to stay home with the kids. 0.59

00:55:40.620 And the wife wants to put them in daycare and keep working. 1.00

00:55:43.300 I think she ought to be in total rebellion and do whatever she wants. 1.00

00:55:47.520 Yeah? 1.00

00:55:49.040 Well.

00:55:49.580 You're being sarcastic, right?

00:55:51.200 Well, I mean, no, but the man can't do that.

00:55:54.080 The answer is yes, by the way.

00:55:55.100 Yes?

00:55:55.460 In general, I freaking love your content.

00:55:57.380 Welcome to Dallas.

00:55:58.200 Thank you.

00:55:59.040 Yeah.

00:55:59.220 So, yeah, the answer is, you know, what are you asking?

00:56:07.540 So if they have a disagreement, he wants you to, 0.93

00:56:09.900 then that's what she should do because he is the head of the wife. 0.99

00:56:12.840 She is not the head of the husband. 0.99

00:56:14.760 She's not the one that takes the bullet.

00:56:16.340 She's not the one that has the responsibility nor the authority to make those calls. 1.00

00:56:20.740 But he's an idiot if he doesn't listen to her and say, well, what do you think? 1.00

00:56:24.640 So here's the thing. 1.00

00:56:26.140 If a man says, gosh, honey, I don't know what to do, what do you think?

00:56:30.580 And she says, honestly, I think this would be the best course of action for us to take on something.

00:56:35.240 And he does, and it totally blows up.

00:56:37.800 What does he say to his wife?

00:56:40.920 Sorry, honey, I'm sorry, I screwed up.

00:56:44.000 That's what he says.

00:56:44.800 He doesn't blame her.

00:56:46.240 Because it wasn't her judgment.

00:56:47.920 It wasn't her responsibility or authority.

00:56:50.540 So what would be wrong with her just blindly listening to him?

00:56:54.380 What would be wrong with that? 0.99

00:56:56.140 Well, because she'd be sinning against knowledge and against God for being a fool. 0.98

00:56:59.840 She's to obey her husband in the Lord, but not to disobey God in the process. 0.98

00:57:05.800 So here's the bottom line.

00:57:08.200 Is she being required to sin?

00:57:09.920 If they have a conflict and he does something she doesn't like, was he sinning?

00:57:14.480 That's the question.

00:57:16.440 Really, that's the bottom line.

00:57:17.740 Otherwise, by what standard are you making the question of the judgment?

00:57:21.200 Well, yeah, because here's the issue, though.

00:57:22.600 like a lot of times, like I just interviewed a woman who talked about emotional abuse.

00:57:27.120 What is emotional abuse, right? That could be like, so, so if she thinks he's being,

00:57:32.200 it's very real and men are very cunning and there's a lot of deceit and things like that.

00:57:37.020 Well, an example that came up was if he's disciplining the kids, right? He's yelling

00:57:43.000 at the kid and there's an argument to be made that kids need discipline, that you can't raise

00:57:47.020 good boys without that. And she says, no, you're being mean. This isn't godly. You're being

00:57:52.400 emotionally abusive, what do we do? There's other authorities over her. The last one to go to is 0.97

00:57:57.580 the state. I mean, the authority over her is his priest and his talk to the friends, but, but,

00:58:05.000 you know, she has to defend them if he's being, being whacked and that's true. But, but that

00:58:10.720 doesn't, that one, one instance doesn't argue for an overall blanket endorsement of rebellion.

00:58:17.420 yes but like i think most people growing up saw their parents argue about how to discipline the

00:58:25.160 kids it's not uncommon right so maybe not you but i was fortunate but but yeah um so it's just the

00:58:33.160 question of should she obey him so the question is is is like what what standard are you appealing

00:58:39.100 to to say it's right or wrong if he does that or not what is that correct correct so so if she's

00:58:45.700 if she's in a, she's in an abusive relationship or he's being like a lot of, well, she says it is

00:58:51.780 right. Well, yeah. Well, I mean, but the point is, is that everybody wants to jump to, you know,

00:58:58.580 jump to trying to, trying to come with a real simple answer to a complex question. That's

00:59:03.200 kind of the problem. So what should she do? She should submit to her husband unless he's requiring

00:59:07.980 sin. If he's sinning, then he needs to be called to account. If he's doing something criminal,

00:59:12.900 then the state has to step in. I mean, it's pretty simple. He needs good friends that'll

00:59:18.840 beat his face when he needs it. And if he doesn't, then he's not much of a man because he's

00:59:23.900 too afraid of the consequences. Do you think it's okay for a woman to tell her husband what to do? 0.99

00:59:28.940 No, she should tell him that she must do it respectfully, the same way he should treat her,

00:59:35.360 with honor and respect. So of course she should. A guy who doesn't listen to his wife's an idiot,

00:59:40.180 and if he just does anything that he's told, then he's not much of a man either. 1.00

00:59:44.180 Since most women wouldn't tell their bosses what to do,

00:59:46.940 couldn't you argue that bosses are getting more obedience than husbands? 0.72

00:59:52.560 I don't know. Again, it's too vague.

00:59:55.800 What business are you talking about?

00:59:58.160 I don't think it's vague at all, personally.

01:00:00.120 Well, it is because it depends on the business.

01:00:02.760 Okay.

01:00:03.080 So you tell the boss what to do, and you say, hey, and I have.

01:00:06.560 I mean, every business I've been in, my boss has been told by those in less authority,

01:00:12.020 no, we shouldn't go doing that.

01:00:13.000 That's a bad idea.

01:00:14.460 I know, but think about Trump and Vance.

01:00:17.480 Vance has to submit to Trump's authority.

01:00:20.840 It's not about the guys.

01:00:22.520 It's just the concept.

01:00:24.120 Vance has to submit to Trump's authority.

01:00:26.080 Correct.

01:00:27.460 Yeah, sorry.

01:00:29.540 But he can't go around telling Trump what to do all the time. 0.99

01:00:32.660 I think Trump would kill him, right?

01:00:34.300 Well, the problem is, I think that's part of the reason he picked him, right? 0.96

01:00:37.820 Trump, for all his faults, contrary to what people think,

01:00:42.600 I don't think the man just wants a yes man to endorse whatever he does.

01:00:46.280 Then again, that would be a nice thing to have if you're a man in authority,

01:00:49.280 then you don't have to answer to anybody, you can just have your way.

01:00:52.320 But that's not very wise.

01:00:55.120 Right, but he still has to make the final say.

01:00:58.060 Well, yeah, but to say he's impervious to any suggestion,

01:01:01.940 why do you think he has a cabinet?

01:01:03.920 Why do you think he has military leaders?

01:01:05.520 He doesn't just go, I want to do this.

01:01:06.980 And they go, okay.

01:01:08.800 That's not what happened. 0.77

01:01:09.760 I understand you might get suggestions, but wouldn't suggestions from men be different than from women? 0.94

01:01:14.360 Well, sometimes you have to stand up and say, no, I'm not obeying that order. 0.93

01:01:16.900 It's like cops who are told there's this law, and cops who with enough sense would say, that's unconstitutional.

01:01:23.740 No, I'm not in doing it.

01:01:25.040 The answer is no.

01:01:26.360 That's not rebellion.

01:01:28.220 That's obedience to authority that's over them.

01:01:31.620 Right. But if you disobey enough times, you get fired where in a marriage, I'm going to lose a job.

01:01:37.880 I'll go start a business and compete with it. So what does the husband do if the wife doesn't

01:01:43.580 obey? Like she constantly is he allowed to divorce her like similarly? Well, no, not necessarily. 0.90

01:01:51.360 No. I mean, there's there's circumstances of, you know, hey, honey, stop going to clubbing and going

01:01:56.760 out with your friends and staying out till three in the morning. And she goes, I can do what I want.

01:02:00.620 He goes, yeah, I can too.

01:02:02.720 Okay, so he could divorce her in that instance?

01:02:05.240 That's something that's above my pay grade to decide that.

01:02:08.240 That's where spiritual counsel comes in.

01:02:10.660 Because my question is, if men can't divorce their wives, how do they have authority?

01:02:14.520 It's like having an employee you can't fire. 0.68

01:02:16.140 No, it isn't that, because most of the divorces are civil arrangements anyway.

01:02:21.840 So, I mean, it's like if she's in rebellion and not going to do that,

01:02:25.140 then she's already pretty well divorced herself.

01:02:27.420 I agree with you. I agree.

01:02:28.840 But I mean, that's tragic. I go to different churches, so I'm not saying you guys agree or don't agree with that.

01:02:34.040 I don't know. But we hold to the historic, traditional Christian understanding of a marriage relationship.

01:02:40.640 This modern crap going around that's that's so-called and people are in tension and strife. 0.99

01:02:45.300 That just that just marks a satanic crap. Yeah. And and we're, of course, opposed to it. 0.99

01:02:50.600 And but Satan got his head crushed many years ago.

01:02:54.220 and we following Christ keep stepping on his face

01:02:56.900 and we're going to continue until things change.

01:03:00.240 Awesome.

01:03:00.880 Well, thank you so much.

01:03:01.760 That was great.

01:03:02.520 I like to see the best in people, you know?

01:03:05.820 It's like Adam talks things out with Eve.

01:03:07.820 How'd that go for us?

01:03:08.200 This is going on the internet,

01:03:08.980 so I ain't saying nothing that's going to get me in the doghouse

01:03:13.140 in any future relationships.

01:03:14.960 So I'm treading carefully here.

01:03:18.000 Really?

01:03:18.820 Why not?

01:03:19.700 like you wouldn't you wouldn't be if you think if you believe it right you wouldn't be afraid

01:03:25.000 to tell your wife it right it's there's a difference between like believing and not

01:03:28.760 being afraid to say it and like knowing that i should say it tactfully because i don't want

01:03:33.680 any future problems i think men worry too much about how women are going to perceive things 0.97

01:03:40.400 i'm just you'll though women will never be happy gonna kill me yeah this is gonna kill me 0.84

01:03:46.440 never I don't I don't want to deal with the nagging I've learned to just sometimes just let

01:03:54.000 it be like if I'm right just let it be I've learned that okay so what do you think about a

01:03:58.760 wife telling her husband what to do if I'm thinking about this from from like if I'm the husband 0.99

01:04:04.860 sometimes I'm not the brightest bulb sometimes I need to be told what to do a woman when it comes 0.99

01:04:13.800 Most of the things of, like, getting ready and, like, remembering stuff, yeah, I'm kind of forgetful. 1.00

01:04:18.980 Okay. 1.00

01:04:20.220 You're more forgetful than a woman. 1.00

01:04:23.380 This is the thing nowadays is this whole gender war stuff. 1.00

01:04:27.600 You can't put women down as much as people like to nowadays, right?

01:04:31.960 It's like I get it.

01:04:33.140 I disagree. 1.00

01:04:33.360 I think we bring women up nowadays. 0.99

01:04:36.480 It's in vogue, and it's this weird overreaction to, like, the feminist types, right? 0.99

01:04:42.680 Uh-huh. 1.00

01:04:42.980 Where now people want to say, oh, women are dumb, only belong in the kitchen. 1.00

01:04:48.460 Do you think they're smart? 1.00

01:04:49.740 I think women are as smart as a woman can be. 1.00

01:04:53.000 Right. 1.00

01:04:53.580 I think nowadays it's just so...

01:04:56.360 But like comparatively.

01:04:58.000 Comparatively? 1.00

01:04:59.260 I've seen plenty of smart women. 1.00

01:05:00.820 I've seen plenty of dumb men. 0.98

01:05:02.180 I don't think it's one of those things where you can really judge on a completely flat basis. 1.00

01:05:10.340 I mean, people aren't animals, right?

01:05:11.540 You look at one tiger, you can get everything you need to know about every tiger ever in history.

01:05:16.180 Right.

01:05:16.620 You take that with, like, one person, you've got to think about individualism.

01:05:21.620 One person is not going to give you as good of a sample size as, like, one bird or one squirrel. 1.00

01:05:28.600 Okay, so if women are allowed to tell their husbands what to do, wouldn't the... 0.84

01:05:33.700 Again, I didn't say that. 1.00

01:05:35.300 I said, I'm saying that sometimes a guy's got to listen to a lady when it's her expertise.

01:05:41.540 okay okay not not saying that you know men should submit to their wives because that's just okay 0.96

01:05:47.920 the concept in general i'm not saying you're saying that but some people have said yes right

01:05:52.040 so you know wouldn't that mean bosses get more obedience than husbands because women would never

01:05:57.460 tell their boss what to do well that's that's a big problem that's if oh if your wife is giving 1.00

01:06:04.900 more respect to her like boss than she is to you that becomes something you should probably talk

01:06:09.540 with your priest your pastor a marriage counselor maybe because that's that's not good yeah one

01:06:17.360 thing is you should never give any any manager any respect that's coming from a manager so

01:06:25.880 never never give us respect we don't deserve it um really no we we sit around all day and we uh

01:06:35.020 we we abuse our power at least that's what i do oh really no i'm kidding i'm kidding i don't i

01:06:42.140 don't get you i don't get the vibe you're a power hungry guy or of course not no no but

01:06:47.620 you know it's so being more respectful to your like let's say a woman's being more respectful

01:06:55.360 to her her boss that that is a red flag to me you see that that seems off okay so one of the

01:07:04.580 issues that people tend to have with religion is they feel um there's a line of thought that they

01:07:11.100 feel it's not about that it's it's the respect level there's more respect for what he says

01:07:16.400 people nowadays are putting too much sexual energy into respect it's got like with the

01:07:22.440 verbiage of cupped it's there's no reason you cupped emasculated by a priest or a pastor

01:07:28.860 why that's even coming into your thought when you should be thinking of the pastor as

01:07:33.780 a reflection as like speaking for for god and lack of a better word but people are people but

01:07:40.780 people but people are flawed right and so you can't expect him to be flawed but they're not 0.97

01:07:46.260 that flawed you know this comes to the thing of you got to give people are idiots right but i've 0.96

01:07:51.660 i've interviewed pastors like and priests and authorities in churches that completely go 0.98

01:07:57.100 against the husband what he says so sometimes the husband look again like you said people are

01:08:02.080 flawed sometimes the husband's wrong people need to this is the problem with uh with i'm gonna go

01:08:08.740 a little scientology here with psychiatrists is that they're trying to replace priests and pastors

01:08:13.700 and religious authorities religious authorities are here to help people you know navigate the

01:08:20.060 harder aspects of spiritual life and marriage is part of spiritual life right so to defer to a

01:08:26.780 priest is not giving up your your place in the marriage if you're a man right but i've never met

01:08:34.280 two men ever that agree on everything i've never it's just never happened like you said people are

01:08:38.800 gonna meet two people who agree on everything i i agree with you but what i'm saying is so if the

01:08:44.860 priest and the husband disagrees and he goes to the priest and they go to the priest instead of

01:08:49.960 the husband doesn't he have more authority than the husband i mean yeah because at the end of the

01:08:56.940 day it's god's authority it's not the priest's authority that he's he's wielding it's god's

01:09:01.060 authority right right but people are flawed i think that's just it's a general thought there's

01:09:06.520 plenty of i mean i've dealt with flawed priests before and that's one of those things where you

01:09:11.760 have to use uh discernment discernment right but it like nine times out of ten you should listen

01:09:18.440 to the priest. Heck, I'd say

01:09:20.580 almost 10

01:09:22.580 out of 10. Like, not even 9 out of 10.

01:09:24.480 10 out of 10 times. I've only

01:09:26.540 ever dealt one time

01:09:28.420 where a priest has made a big

01:09:30.740 error.

01:09:32.880 What was the error?

01:09:35.080 You don't have to. That's more

01:09:36.500 of a personal thing. I don't want to.

01:09:37.980 You don't have to. Because he's a good priest.

01:09:40.480 I'm a good guy.

01:09:42.140 It was just one mistake. He's a flawed person.

01:09:44.900 That's fine. Flawed people. But 9 times

01:09:46.500 out of 10,

01:09:48.440 You've got to trust the priest.

01:09:50.580 He knows what he's talking about. 1.00

01:09:51.500 But your final answer, yes or no, should Christian women obey their husbands? 0.98

01:09:55.360 I'm going to be in the doghouse for the rest of my life, but yeah. 1.00

01:09:59.060 Okay, perfect.

01:10:00.020 Thank you.

01:10:00.560 Oh, no.

01:10:01.120 That was great.

01:10:01.920 You were awesome, so thank you.

01:10:03.560 God bless.

01:10:04.480 Okay, so no right or wrong answer. 1.00

01:10:06.680 Should Christian women obey their husbands? 1.00

01:10:08.880 Yes, no, why or why not? 1.00

01:10:10.300 The flat answer, yes, because it's a complicated answer, but I'm kind of like scatterbrained right now.

01:10:22.100 That's okay.

01:10:22.840 I know not everyone's prepared, so it's just whatever comes to your head.

01:10:28.800 Well, I don't want to sound like a Protestant, but it is in the Bible, and it is a command.

01:10:34.860 But it's not as simple as, hey, women, obey the man.

01:10:40.300 they're complementary, it's a relationship, 0.60

01:10:44.360 and the man is also given almost a similar command,

01:10:50.680 where he's told, you know, to protect her,

01:10:55.400 to, you know, treat her like, what's the words?

01:11:00.560 I'm, like, losing words right now.

01:11:02.600 To love her like Christ loves the church.

01:11:04.520 Yes, exactly.

01:11:04.980 It's an equal, he puts you at an equal ground,

01:11:08.320 And not in the way that we see it as society.

01:11:10.640 It's like, oh, women and men should be equal.

01:11:12.840 But an equal ground where you both hold the image of Christ.

01:11:17.940 So it's not like one of you has the upper hand.

01:11:20.900 The relationship is dependent on both of you locking in.

01:11:24.240 What would be wrong with the man having the upper hand?

01:11:27.580 Nothing necessarily wrong.

01:11:30.060 But it depends on the context of what you mean by the upper hand.

01:11:33.480 Like in what context.

01:11:35.020 Where is he having the upper hand and stuff?

01:11:38.320 On decisions?

01:11:39.660 No, definitely.

01:11:40.680 He has to, for sure.

01:11:41.780 He has to have the upper hand. 1.00

01:11:43.740 Do you think a wife, it's in her place to tell her husband what to do? 1.00

01:11:47.640 No. 0.95

01:11:47.880 No, no, no.

01:11:52.820 Several reasons for that. 1.00

01:11:55.580 If you are Christian because, you know, it's picking out Christian women, 1.00

01:12:01.020 then you should not be teaching men. 1.00

01:12:05.360 You should not be commanding men.

01:12:07.260 especially if he's your husband but also

01:12:11.500 you're expected from him to provide right to protect somebody breaks in the house

01:12:18.220 i mean you've heard a million times who's gonna who's gonna protect the house you know yeah so

01:12:24.060 you know what what'll happen in a situation if the woman's like oh don't don't shoot him just 1.00

01:12:30.620 give him a warning shot oh yeah okay honey and then what you get shot you all die no it's stupid 1.00

01:12:37.000 no I don't think what should the wife do if the priest and the husband disagree 1.00

01:12:42.280 so let's let's do a scenario of parenting style so let's say you're married you got your orthodox

01:12:50.000 baddie right and you found your stacy light and um she comes in she says you're being emotionally

01:12:57.920 abusive to the kids you're yelling at them too much and you say no I'm not they need discipline

01:13:03.860 You go to the priest, and the priest takes her side.

01:13:07.420 You could argue whether the priest is flawed or it's biblical,

01:13:11.300 but regardless, the answer is against you.

01:13:13.840 Who do you think that the wife should listen to?

01:13:16.340 The priest. 0.93

01:13:17.440 And then I would also follow what the priest says or what the Father says

01:13:21.280 because he is the authority, especially in matters like that.

01:13:26.700 If I'm misstepping, I'm not going to disrespect my wife.

01:13:31.400 I don't have a wife.

01:13:32.980 I'm not going to take what she says.

01:13:35.400 I'll take in the advice, right?

01:13:37.220 But I'm like, okay, but I need actual guidance.

01:13:42.220 My spiritual leader, he needs to tell me if I'm doing it wrong

01:13:46.000 because I'm not going to get it from someone else that's also flawed.

01:13:49.860 I'm seeing you mess up every day because then it's,

01:13:52.800 I just know that the perspective is going to be skewed.

01:13:55.540 And if you're going to get a third opinion on something

01:13:58.000 or get a third opinion on something,

01:14:00.880 and who better to get it from than your spiritual leader?

01:14:04.640 So two questions I have with that.

01:14:06.800 Doesn't that mean he has more authority over your house than you do?

01:14:10.160 Yeah.

01:14:10.740 Even though you have more of a vested interest in the outcomes of the kids?

01:14:14.520 No, I don't agree with that.

01:14:15.800 Okay.

01:14:16.020 The church is the body of Christ.

01:14:19.720 And the clergy are the...

01:14:22.940 They're supposed to be representing...

01:14:26.020 I'm like an inquirer, so...

01:14:28.160 It's okay.

01:14:28.580 I might be stepping out of my bounds when I say this, but they are representing an image of Christ from my understanding.

01:14:34.360 So, I mean, we all have the image of Christ, but they're representing like, what's it called?

01:14:41.240 I'm not, I'm like, it's okay.

01:14:44.280 Totally okay. It's fine.

01:14:46.220 But to me, it's like you're taking a direct message.

01:14:50.620 If it's coming from the body of Christ, you're taking a direct message from Christ.

01:14:54.060 So I have no problem with that.

01:14:55.400 he should have. Christ comes first, the love of God, because the first commandment is love God

01:14:59.860 with our heart, so that everything else falls under that. Do you think that could create an

01:15:04.920 issue, though, because women often over-exaggerate things and tell stories in sort of a deceptive 1.00

01:15:11.220 way? We saw that a lot with the Me Too movement, right? Amber Heard said all this stuff, it wasn't 0.98

01:15:15.640 true. And I think most men have seen that, where a woman will tell a story completely different, 0.99

01:15:21.460 right so if she's going to the priest and she's giving her side of the story couldn't that be an

01:15:26.540 issue yeah where like he's giving advice based on like basically a fake story yeah yeah um that's

01:15:32.820 just the one way i could yeah no i agree i agree but like how do you how do you you know get around

01:15:38.240 navigate that it's probably if i think that that is happening yeah again my perspective could be

01:15:46.680 just as cute but if i think that that is happening then i'm gonna be honest i'm gonna go to

01:15:52.160 another another church another church not necessarily attend there but see if the

01:16:00.180 leadership there maybe has something because if like you said she was doing that then he kind

01:16:06.440 of already has these um like you know perceived ideas and stuff that she probably implanted his

01:16:12.920 head maybe you know i mean we've all seen how women can manipulate like i think we've all seen

01:16:18.940 how a woman can manipulate a group of people or another guy it's like do you okay dating have you

01:16:26.920 dated orthodox women no oh no you haven't i was just curious if you've seen a difference here

01:16:31.240 um no honestly i i couldn't tell i don't talk to the women here try to be respectful because

01:16:38.920 A lot of them are going to be married or elder or children.

01:16:45.680 So I'm like, you know, stay in my lane as far as it goes with that.

01:16:50.540 Last question. 0.96

01:16:51.280 What do you think of women-led Bible studies? 1.00

01:16:54.280 That's a big don't know. 1.00

01:16:55.980 I don't like that.

01:16:56.860 Thank God.

01:16:58.420 No, nobody should even be trying to interpret the Bible by themselves, first of all.

01:17:05.040 It's like so many problems come out of that.

01:17:08.600 So many Pharisees, all these, it's insane.

01:17:11.240 You can't do that.

01:17:12.280 Well, thank you so much.

01:17:13.260 I appreciate it.

01:17:14.260 Thank you.

01:17:14.560 Nice to meet you.

01:17:14.920 Hello.

01:17:15.420 Hi.

01:17:16.060 What do you think of the sign?

01:17:17.260 You got an opinion?

01:17:18.860 I want to ask a question.

01:17:20.780 Sure.

01:17:21.060 Do you remember what Jesus answered to the Pharisees when they asked him what the greatest

01:17:28.160 commandment was?

01:17:30.020 Nope.

01:17:31.100 You don't?

01:17:32.680 Uh-uh.

01:17:33.660 I'm shocked.

01:17:34.740 It's the precept, it's the basis of our faith.

01:17:39.020 I'm a degenerate, so.

01:17:40.420 Apparently.

01:17:41.000 Yeah.

01:17:41.480 Well.

01:17:41.860 You're better than me.

01:17:42.920 No, I'm not.

01:17:44.640 I am not.

01:17:45.500 Okay.

01:17:46.060 But Jesus answered, saying, love the Lord your God with all your heart, your mind, and your strength.

01:17:54.260 And the second is likened to the first, that you love your neighbor as yourself.

01:17:59.820 I do not see the love of God in this sign.

01:18:03.360 Okay.

01:18:03.640 That's my comment.

01:18:04.740 So, why? Because of the obey?

01:18:06.900 And, no, because the love of God is not in this sign.

01:18:13.880 What's not, it's a question.

01:18:16.160 So, what's wrong with, like, the question?

01:18:18.180 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your mind, and your strength.

01:18:23.780 And the second is like unto the first, that you love your neighbor as yourself.

01:18:28.540 I do not see this as loving your neighbor as yourself.

01:18:32.100 How would you like it if somebody stood in front of your church with a sign?

01:18:37.060 I wouldn't care.

01:18:38.360 Okay.

01:18:38.920 Now, this is the 1,500-year-old sacrament of marriage that we perform every time somebody gets married in our church.

01:18:50.160 And that will answer your question if you happen to read it.

01:18:54.640 Okay.

01:18:55.460 So what are you thinking?

01:18:57.040 Do you have an opinion on this? 1.00

01:18:58.180 Should Christian women obey their husbands? 1.00

01:19:00.200 Okay. 1.00

01:19:02.100 Um, so I think probably like the first thing to like maybe understand about the question

01:19:09.880 is like the context of like the word obey.

01:19:14.160 Cause that's kind of like a, it's kind of like a listen to defer to defer to.

01:19:18.900 So, okay.

01:19:19.640 He says like, I think of it just as an example.

01:19:23.400 I know it's not the same, but in terms of a boss and an employee, your boss tells you

01:19:27.480 what to do.

01:19:28.180 You listen, you listen, you obey, right?

01:19:31.520 if you don't obey you get fired usually you can i mean you can offer your opinion right

01:19:37.840 but if you don't listen if you disagree yeah uh you're kind of out of luck yeah yeah yeah so it's

01:19:44.740 like so so in that sense if if you use that definition right that's kind of like uh basically

01:19:50.500 kind of like a more nuanced version of that question would be like well is there like a

01:19:54.340 hierarchy in marriage correct and i would say that like yeah you know um but i think that like

01:20:01.100 when it comes to discerning um the interrelations between people in that hierarchy like

01:20:09.700 especially in regards to like being christian right like i think that is a uh i think that's

01:20:19.420 that's an important distinction because especially here uh in like uh orthodox christianity right

01:20:25.360 like there's not like a legalistic way of obeying right i would say it's a very uh

01:20:32.100 what do you mean there's not a legalistic legalistic right so like say given that boss

01:20:37.320 employee relationship that you're referring to that's like a very legalistic hierarchy right

01:20:41.640 like you have to listen to your boss otherwise you get fired right correct but the whole thing

01:20:45.120 with christianity right is that like the whole religion is based around like well we didn't

01:20:50.120 like we don't listen right really well yeah because that's like what sin is right sin is like

01:20:54.600 missing that mark right it's missing it's missing the commands given by God right but right in the

01:21:01.740 same way that we go to God to get like sort of remission for those sins right I think um that

01:21:09.140 is absolutely something that happens like within the household as well right and so I'm not saying

01:21:13.820 you have to be a perfect right but I'm asking is obedience the ideal is that what we're striving

01:21:18.360 for or no i would say yeah it is definitely like an ideal to strive for but i also think it's

01:21:24.420 important to um not be like super rigid okay when it comes to that right because like there are times

01:21:32.180 like you know say given a certain domestic situation where like the husband while higher

01:21:37.860 above in the hierarchy like might be wrong right like that's like like that's like it right and so

01:21:43.520 well your boss could be wrong it doesn't mean like you kind of still have to go with it if he

01:21:47.880 says something right i think like i used to i used to work in sales right and there is a big

01:21:54.340 yeah there is a big dislike disagreement between phone calls or door-to-door i prefer door-to-door

01:21:59.800 my boss said calls i did calls you know i had no choice yeah i did i did door-to-door sales too

01:22:05.440 i think i'm better in person so yeah so yeah so but it didn't matter what i thought because he

01:22:12.020 said this is the plan and i have to go with it do you think it's similar in marriage or no

01:22:15.840 yes but in the same way that you could give your boss feedback right yeah like that's the same

01:22:26.620 thing in marriage too right and so like while it is true that like the husband does have kind of

01:22:33.180 like that more principled position right the the wife and the children too like they have

01:22:39.220 like absolute freedom to like give input and so like as the husband being like sort of the

01:22:46.760 principal right like it is his job to like take that input into consideration for whatever decision

01:22:52.740 that family has to make right and so that idea of like obedience right that's important not

01:23:00.160 necessarily to like always say oh I have to defer to the husband but it's more so like

01:23:05.200 um important in relation to like cohesion right because not just in marriage right but probably

01:23:12.960 like in society in general right there's all there always has to be like leaders right there

01:23:17.460 always has to be like somebody calling shots making decisions and so like i think that with that

01:23:22.880 it's important to like ultimately respect like the authority of the of those decisions but also to

01:23:32.280 um feel free to like give input and more than anything um

01:23:38.680 foster that that unity in the same way that christians have with the so do you think it's

01:23:44.320 okay for a wife to tell her husband what to do i think

01:23:49.520 like try to keep it to yes or no okay yeah sure yeah sure sure um are you nervous yes

01:24:01.260 yes you have to be nervous it's okay no i'm just you know i'm shaky but um but yeah i would say

01:24:08.160 is it okay for the wife to tell their husband what to do uh yeah i think so you know i mean

01:24:14.460 i mean if she like if she has like you know certain domain expertise in something and if

01:24:20.980 she can like provide that guidance right like yeah you know i think that's totally fine right

01:24:27.140 Because when it comes to like that concept of obedience in relation to Christianity, right, that is like in the spiritual domain, right?

01:24:37.860 So ultimately what that is, is that the husband and the wife, they ultimately defer to the church and to God. 0.70

01:24:49.160 Do you think by this worldview, though, that the church has more authority in a man's home than the man does? 0.56

01:24:55.840 no right or wrong answer it's just like by this logic like wouldn't you listen to the priest over

01:25:01.240 the husband i would say that that is true spiritually yes okay and that's why like in

01:25:06.920 orthodoxy it's important to like follow uh all of the sacraments so like um in the same way that

01:25:13.960 both uh so like you know the husband and the wife they both have to go to confession right they both

01:25:20.540 have to um they both have to repent they both ideally are receiving communion they're they're

01:25:26.200 fasting right and so in terms of spiritual authority yes the church does have like kind

01:25:32.500 of the ultimate say in that household so what happens when the husband believes he's following

01:25:37.320 god a common example is parenting styles so men tend to apply more discipline right like i'm sure

01:25:44.500 you can think of coaches and um i don't maybe your dad growing up usually they're the disciplinarian

01:25:50.800 um where the wife might say oh you can't hit the kids you can't talk to them that way

01:25:56.700 that's like a common disagreement yeah um what happens if the wife goes to the priest and the

01:26:02.680 priest priest agrees with the woman um like do you think they should listen to the priest then 0.89

01:26:09.180 in that scenario um yeah because the one issue i could foresee um is that women tend to tell 0.99

01:26:17.940 convoluted versions of the truth so she may describe the story like oh he beat the shit 0.56

01:26:24.640 out of the kid you know and like he just you know he hit the kid once or something and i i i wonder

01:26:30.940 if that could be an issue with deferring authority to a priest is that he's not there he can't see it

01:26:36.660 yeah so how do you guys get around that well i well i think in the same way that the woman can

01:26:41.660 go to the priest for confession so can the husband right and you know ideally in the marriage right

01:26:46.060 the husband and wife both have they have like that unity and cohesion to like go to the priest

01:26:51.760 together right and kind of get that like then what if the woman lies in the man's honest you 0.76

01:26:56.840 know what i mean it's like then why yeah i mean and women like i think it's no secret that they

01:27:02.220 lie we lie more than men like if you think of me too right how many men went down because women

01:27:07.260 told the story that the men were evil and abusive and all this stuff how do you guys like how do you

01:27:13.100 guys know that the women don't lie here you know well everybody lies yeah correct yeah well women

01:27:17.860 more right i think anyway i think that's i think that's unique to the individual right everybody

01:27:23.960 has different experiences, right? Yeah. Um, I think that it's best to, um, in that sense,

01:27:31.420 try not to, uh, like put like an ideological, like sort of blanket on it. Right. Um, because

01:27:39.280 in that sense, um, the whole concept of obedience, not just for wives to their husbands, but for

01:27:47.320 everybody to god right like that is kind of just like the ultimate um to me at least that is just

01:27:56.580 kind of like the ultimate pursuit in life right yeah and so you know yeah sure like you know a

01:28:03.000 woman might lie more than her husband um she will lie more than her husband well depending on on the 0.71

01:28:09.640 woman and the husband in particular right not depending on i've never seen a more honest woman

01:28:16.440 than a man ever i i think i think that you know everybody lies though man that's true that's like

01:28:28.460 but women the most yeah i mean um i think that yeah if you try to like put like i'm just wondering 0.72

01:28:40.680 how you get around that because i don't see a world where you can because if you have a third

01:28:45.200 party the woman's just usually gonna tell did you have a sister growing up yeah four sisters

01:28:50.180 come on you know that like women always tell a more convoluted version of the story um

01:28:56.500 i've known plenty of guys to do that too it's just like you know everybody's got like their 0.75

01:29:03.900 own convolutions right um and i think there are definitely convolutions that are unique to women

01:29:10.000 for sure um just somehow that's the same for men um and yeah i would say probably instead of like

01:29:19.220 this whole idea of like getting around it yeah right it's more like well how do you work through

01:29:23.780 it got it i think that's i think that's like the key thing right and working through it like

01:29:28.880 yeah there's gonna be like twisted words there's gonna be like you know there's gonna there's gonna

01:29:34.040 be resentment there's gonna be like all kinds of just like messed up stuff going on and not just

01:29:39.000 in a marriage, but just in, in the church or like in, in, in life. Right. And so it's like

01:29:45.420 the best way that you can work through that, not just as a woman, but as a man and whoever you are

01:29:54.280 is that obedience looks like

01:29:58.080 doing your best to always tell the truth, even when you're wrong. And, you know, I think that

01:30:09.000 We'll definitely have to work through a lot of those convolutions, but I think that as we work through them, we'll find repentance, right?

01:30:22.020 So, like, you know, repentance is a funny word, right?

01:30:25.880 Because I think, like, in a lot of, like, Christian churches, particularly here in America, repentance is often, like, viewed as, like, oh, you have to, like, ask God for, like, forgiveness, right?

01:30:37.640 That's kind of, like, the common idea, but I think that it's important to understand that, like, etymologically, like, repentance means, like, to change one's mind, right?

01:30:48.260 And so in the same way that, like, that woman might tell, like, a convoluted story at first, well, God has a way of, like, working through her heart and everybody else's heart to work through that and get to the truth.

01:30:59.540 Great.

01:31:00.000 And so, you know, and that's everybody.

01:31:04.020 That's what we're all, like, striving here to do.

01:31:05.960 Yeah.

01:31:06.220 Great.

01:31:06.620 Well, thank you so much. You're awesome. Thank you. Great energy. Yeah, thank you

Pearl - June 03, 2026

I Visited An Orthodox Church and Asked If Women Should Obey

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript