Pearl - Is there hope for lonely women？ Lilliana Gomez joins Pearl Daily.

00:00:00.000 what is up guys welcome to another episode of pearl daily here on the audacity network

00:00:09.240 i wanted to start by saying thank you guys so much for tuning in tonight you guys could bring

00:00:14.060 your time and attention anywhere and you choose to bring it here and i appreciate you guys dearly

00:00:18.160 before we start if you guys do want to support the show please go to the audacity network.com

00:00:24.260 and get a ten dollar a month membership as you guys know um i get kicked off of youtube every

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00:00:35.940 happens 10 bucks a month we are also raising money for a divorce documentary okay um so

00:00:44.260 today i actually have an interesting show because when we do reaction videos on this show

00:00:49.780 um usually the people don't want to come on or they don't um it's very rare you get them to

00:00:55.780 actually come on and have a conversation so pretty cool today we actually have um

00:01:02.100 liliana gomez on the show and i'm going to show you guys her original tick tock it was about women 1.00

00:01:07.300 approaching men so we're gonna show the tick tock and then we're gonna bring her up all right 1.00

00:01:13.700 um okay so this was her original tiktok

00:01:19.440 the loneliness epidemic is real i went to two bars not just one two bars and i got rejected by

00:01:33.060 not one but two guys now i usually don't go out like this but i was feeling like i was starving

00:01:40.840 for affection and i just wanted somebody to make me feel pretty like my mother once told me sometimes

00:01:48.680 you go out not because you want to have fun but you want just one person to make you feel special

00:01:55.000 and i did that tonight and maybe just maybe it was out of desperation not that i don't have a

00:02:02.760 lot to live for i have plenty but i went out hoping to just feel a rock connection with somebody

00:02:08.840 and i got rejected by two people and i felt so terrible that i ended up walking home alone

00:02:15.080 to sober myself up because this was not the night that i planned out for myself

00:02:19.620 the lonely epidemic the loneliness epidemic is so so real and it's such a raw experience for me

00:02:27.580 um and for a lot of people now it is not that i don't have i feel like i am a pretty pretty girl

00:02:36.220 But, um, it is not that I'm looking necessarily in the wrong places, but it is the wrong time, and unfortunately, I have knocked on every door that I possibly could have, and every door has come to me to no avail.

00:02:53.380 also be careful walking alone at night because I just had somebody trail me um it's it's sad

00:03:05.220 what we do when we when we're starving for affection the last person that I was spending

00:03:09.020 time with told me that um they liked me but I wanted so badly to be a girlfriend that it turned

00:03:18.360 him away. Isn't that crazy? I just wanted a connection. I just wanted someone to hold

00:03:25.900 me and make me feel like the world wasn't ending. And I spent all my time trying to

00:03:32.360 make this person feel special so that they wouldn't leave me just for them to say that

00:03:37.480 I was trying too hard and for them to move on. It's absolutely crazy. So now I'm just

00:03:45.960 listening to my music going on like a three like a three mile walk this i would not advise to you

00:03:52.700 i just i was in a funky headspace so i'm doing it but um be careful out there ladies be careful 1.00

00:03:59.700 okay so she puts this on the internet puts it on tiktok um she then realizes the reality of the

00:04:07.000 internet which is that a lot of people a lot of people are going to react to this um so then

00:04:15.100 myself and some other youtubers did react to this um i'm actually friends with anton daniels i think

00:04:21.260 that's who she was responding to make this full screen here we go hi my name is lilyana gomez and

00:04:27.800 i've been the subject of scrutiny for over 24 hours 24 hours that's rookie numbers you know

00:04:34.300 what i mean sorry i posted a video online that was meant for my close friends and yes i did

00:04:40.820 share it online publicly, but I found it to be the topic of a YouTube channel with over a million

00:04:47.180 followers. And it was a personal video that I did not give permission to be leaked. Now, that being

00:04:53.720 said, I was talking about the loneliness epidemic and how it is difficult for anybody of any gender

00:04:58.520 to find themselves in a position where they are rejected when they are looking via dating apps,

00:05:04.900 going out in person making friends trying to find someone to connect with and honestly

00:05:10.280 giving up all resorts and going to a bar like i did and just trying to see if i hit it off with

00:05:16.560 somebody that's all all it was just me being single and wanting to hit it off somebody and

00:05:20.700 i got rejected by two men and i posted a video about how frustrating it was not because i got

00:05:24.740 rejected by two men but just because i had been searching for three years hoping that i could

00:05:28.800 find a connection with somebody and that is not wrong that is not wrong but these two the youtubers

00:05:34.580 sourced my video and talked about how I am not how me as a woman being rejected

00:05:45.320 speaks leaps and bounds for what the dating narrative is and I have been the subject of

00:05:53.260 the scrutiny of many youtubers of over a hundred thousand people that commented on that video and

00:05:57.600 talked about how I am a torta I'm fat I am overweight how the septum theory is real and

00:06:03.700 how I hate men when, you know, that makes so much sense because I hit on men in the bar and I 0.77

00:06:07.860 wanted their company. How my tattoos make me a whore. 1.00

00:06:14.320 So much judgment that I would never, never dare to presume or dare partake to give to anybody 0.97

00:06:22.260 has been put onto me. So I decided to take it in my own hands to talk about this issue. And I

00:06:30.160 reached out to both youtubers and asked if i can make commentary on these videos because i think

00:06:34.820 there's a deeper social implication and i was oh she only asked for commentary usually that's

00:06:40.320 actually not that's a little better normally they just crash out and say take it down take it you

00:06:44.860 know commentary it's not given that opportunity not only did they steal that video okay you can't

00:06:50.480 steal videos on the internet it's open it's um what's it called um fair use once you have it on

00:06:58.360 tiktok that's no there's no stealing a video on a public platform but they did not include me or

00:07:04.700 even i mean i guess it's already implied but they did not they don't have to they don't have people

00:07:10.100 do reactions to my stuff all the time they do not have to allow me to give permission or comment on

00:07:17.000 it um so i'm taking a step further and i am going to the drew barrymore show and i am sending in an

00:07:22.260 inquiry and hopefully she accepts it because i love that woman and i love that show i doubt it

00:07:26.300 I was going to go on that show a few years ago, but they never got back to me.

00:07:30.000 I mean, we'll see.

00:07:31.740 But here's what I have put.

00:07:34.240 So bear with me.

00:07:37.280 I post a video on TikTok about the loneliness epidemic and what it is like to be rejected as a woman who pursues men.

00:07:43.080 I am a passionate, always vulnerable and earnest individual with a fiery disposition.

00:07:47.400 I'm meant to break a cast, a stereotype in the dating scene that implies one misleading narrative and all of its complexities.

00:07:53.220 that it isn't okay for women to be lonely and pursue company in whatever form that may take

00:07:58.100 the dating scene has a lot of rigidity surrounding the idea that men are to pursue women

00:08:03.120 and that women who pursue are desperate and less than i don't believe that's true i like to enable 0.58

00:08:09.400 the ideology that i am brave and intelligent and more importantly capable of getting what i want

00:08:14.260 so i pursue men in doing so i have encountered a lot of frustration and rejection when confessing

00:08:20.200 feelings to a small group of friends my video was leaked to an online youtube source and sources

00:08:24.680 that have lamented me for pursuing men and more importantly implied that women deserve the 1.00

00:08:28.980 loneliness we receive because we pushed the me too movement and metaphorically chose the bear

00:08:33.760 i've been shamed for my weight my jewelry and my tattoos the express yeah that's the internet i

00:08:40.000 mean you know what i had a two-hour video picking apart every part of my face every single part they

00:08:46.780 told me why it was ugly. That's kind of the internet. Questions I bear with quiet have now

00:08:51.860 become the subject of scrutiny for over 80,000, now 100,000 individuals in less than 24 hours.

00:08:58.140 Here are the links to the videos that reference me, insult me, and dare not give me my proper

00:09:02.240 accreditation. So yeah, they don't have to do that. Help us spread because I have so much to

00:09:10.080 say. I have so much to say and I have every right to say so and I'm feeling pretty adamant about

00:09:14.280 this and i believe that this this community i chose tiktok to post because i knew that there

00:09:18.720 is a strong community of of women and men out there that are supportive of one another and

00:09:23.720 embrace one oh no there's not sorry oh no not on tiktok sorry another um and unfortunately this

00:09:33.880 got leaked to the wrong hands and i i want to talk about this i want to talk and i want to listen and

00:09:39.560 i i think this should be a bigger issue um so let me know what you have to think yeah welcome

00:09:46.920 to the internet okay so you're not ugly pearl just handsome i'll take it thank you thank you

00:09:54.920 okay so um we're gonna bring up liliana and welcome to the show hold on add to the stage 1.00

00:10:03.800 wait wait there we go welcome to the show liliana how are you tonight

00:10:11.000 i'm pretty good actually are you are you police officer uh no this was my dad's shirt from 9 11

00:10:19.720 i found in the garage and um i i made it my own so i love this shirt it's just something from the

00:10:26.680 the past okay your dad he was like a firefighter during 9-11 no um no not at all like that's

00:10:34.700 really sad um okay go ahead no uh i was just gonna say that um i've kind of come a little

00:10:42.660 bit full circle in the sense of like i'm actually really not upset that those videos i know that

00:10:48.140 it may have i may have been a little bit passionate and i'm sure it rubbed people the wrong way i'm

00:10:51.940 i'm sure of that but um i was never really upset that the videos got popular um i was more upset

00:10:58.740 that i didn't get to talk about them because you know i actually really enjoy like i don't mind if

00:11:04.500 people disagree with me um i like to talk and i find these conversations interesting and you know

00:11:11.460 i always like to learn from something so i saw it as an opportunity and to be able to comment on it

00:11:16.500 whether or not you agree or disagree with me like that that's an opportunity for me and i think the

00:11:20.980 main part of that video that i would emphasize is the accreditation part maybe you don't have to

00:11:25.700 but it's a kindness to say hey you know i understand yeah i understand that like this video

00:11:32.100 may not get the attention that you had initially planned um and i think that part of it like just

00:11:38.980 person to person um i was put in the position of getting a lot of online bullying and that's not

00:11:44.740 something that i was prepared for but it happened and you know it's it's it's over with so you know

00:11:50.340 it's okay and i have some thick skin so i read it so i want i wanted to start with why don't you

00:11:55.380 tell them your background so your age where you're from whatever you want to share before we get too

00:12:01.060 much into it go ahead i'm 24. i'm from california which you're probably going to say wow that makes

00:12:07.380 a lot of sense but believe it or not uh i would consider myself independent i'm not very liberal

00:12:14.020 um i'm actually a mix between um liberal and conservative um i've actually had a lot of

00:12:20.020 friendships that i had to steer away from because i felt like they were too politically charged

00:12:24.340 um i am a teacher and for the most part like i just believe that love is love um and you know

00:12:32.340 what did you get your degree in was it like english or just education yeah so it was actually

00:12:38.100 english literature so i got my bachelor's in 2023 i took a year off um just was working

00:12:45.300 minimum wage jobs for a little while i'm back in school now and i am teaching i'm an intern

00:12:50.740 so i am working i know privately you said you're so you're 24 um and then in the video you said

00:12:58.660 you like had a ex situationship like three years ago i'm just wondering what your dating

00:13:05.700 background is and like what that experience been like for you before before this video before the

00:13:11.460 approaching at the bar it's i know your generation is a little bit like delayed yeah um i don't i

00:13:20.140 don't i genuinely don't feel that i have the experience that most women have i you know and

00:13:25.120 that could be for a multitude of reasons but i have struggled with dating i had a three-year

00:13:30.420 long relationship um and i have i still love that person very much to this day and um unfortunately

00:13:38.160 we just grew out of love and we changed as people and that happens but um i would definitely say

00:13:44.480 i i've read a lot of psychology books and a lot of self-help books and one of the books

00:13:49.720 and was it like was it like a serious relationship or was it very okay so this was like we're

00:13:56.440 meeting each other's families we might marry each other and then it ended yeah we live with each

00:14:00.960 other and we met each other's family it was very very serious I was very I was very much in love

00:14:06.880 um now I have read a lot of those self-help books and I've learned that I am what you would call an

00:14:13.900 anxious attachment style which honestly you can say that I'm overweight and I am but I I think

00:14:21.460 the thing that scares men away is like my want for love, you know, like, yes. And that,

00:14:28.680 that pushes people away. Um, and for the right people, it draws them in because I'm like I said,

00:14:34.120 like I'm a very like, um, always open, always earnest. Like sometimes I can be really intense,

00:14:39.580 but for the most part, like I just want, I just want a connection and I'm not afraid to say,

00:14:44.520 Hey, I want that. So no, when hot women of anxious attachment styles, they get completely 1.00

00:14:50.200 different results. I'm not even saying that to judge you. I used to be pretty overweight myself.

00:14:58.660 I lost weight. I had a lot of comments say, I'm this, I'm that, I'm super overweight, but they

00:15:05.100 don't know the full story. I lost 50 pounds this year. I'm working on losing weight and I'm working

00:15:10.220 on improving myself because actually, I think that some overweight women are some of the most 1.00

00:15:15.740 beautiful woman I've ever seen. That's just my opinion. I think of them as goddesses almost like

00:15:21.540 Venetian. But personally, I was an athlete all of high school. I was on the swim team. I was on the

00:15:27.080 water polo team. So it became ingrained in my personality to be athletic. So when I did go

00:15:33.060 through a breakup and then I ended up spending a lot of time by myself and maybe develop some

00:15:38.380 habits that are not good for me, I became very insecure. So I am losing weight and I am working

00:15:43.740 towards being someone that i want to be happy with so well okay that's that's good at least

00:15:50.060 you're headed in the right direction but you know it doesn't really matter what you find beautiful

00:15:55.180 it's like what men find beautiful right like do you understand why you got the reaction you got

00:16:00.860 do you understand it i do and i don't because i think that it depends on who you talk to like i

00:16:09.180 know this is where we're gonna disagree there are a lot of men like okay you actually mentioned it

00:16:16.540 yourself like you said that believe it or not she rejects a lot of men and i i do i get a lot

00:16:21.820 of attention i mean if you saw my dating app you would see that i'm getting a lot of men

00:16:27.980 you know yes and no um yes and no um after that video exploded i had like like lots and

00:16:37.020 and lots and lots of requests from um black men who were very interested in me are they just not

00:16:42.540 my type um i hate you guys sorry it's true it's true i'm not gonna say it's not true i'm a very 0.77

00:16:49.980 honest person i know i'm telling you or two and it's like the shift it's like when you're over 200 0.85

00:16:55.740 it's only black guys interested and then you get closer to 150 all the white guys holler

00:17:01.740 i also like i had a lot of white men a lot of mexican a lot of indian i get a mix

00:17:06.460 But I will say that on dating apps, like if I swiped right on everybody, guaranteed I've

00:17:13.520 had hundreds of men, but I don't, you know, I'm, I'm like, I am attracted to what I'm

00:17:19.360 attracted to.

00:17:20.080 And I'm telling you, I can, I can say this cause I lived it.

00:17:23.300 My sister even lived it more cause she was, what are you like two, how tall are you? 0.86

00:17:29.520 I am five nine and I'm 240, no, 235 pounds right now.

00:17:34.800 I'm going to say 250.

00:17:36.460 just because women always lie by like 10 pounds sorry no genuinely um because i'm not afraid to

00:17:43.160 admit it last january i was 286 pounds um you're kind of similar my sister was around the same

00:17:51.660 weight and hide as you you kind of look like her actually um and i lost weight to be 235 pounds

00:17:57.900 as of today honestly i don't look that different um i don't i know but here's the here's the

00:18:03.500 challenge you don't get brownie points from like like imagine like you're an alcoholic

00:18:07.100 and then it's like you have the one person that just never drank alcohol

00:18:11.820 you know and the one person that's like oh i overcame alcoholism and it's like well you

00:18:17.420 shouldn't have been an alcoholic to begin with you know what i mean you don't get brownies for 0.99

00:18:22.180 like being an you know overcoming something that should have never been a problem um well but at

00:18:29.020 you're going in the right direction yeah but i'm a human being i'm not perfect and nobody is and

00:18:35.020 anybody who says they is they are they is they are would they would be lying you know what i mean yeah

00:18:40.140 i know and it doesn't really matter what all right i'm gonna i'm gonna actually explain why your

00:18:44.220 video went viral from my point of view um it's because you were complaining about getting

00:18:50.380 rejected by two men and for men i know men that approach women for a living and a good pickup 0.94

00:18:57.580 artist has to approach a hundred women and get rejected 90 times so it's kind of like you're

00:19:03.320 coming on the internet complaining and saying oh i got rejected by two men i'm so lonely

00:19:07.680 which is fine we're not used to doing that i'd say you're kind of abnormal for most women like 1.00

00:19:12.840 most women don't approach i'm not even saying yeah i'm not saying you're wrong for doing that 0.99

00:19:17.060 um i i actually would encourage it but the the reaction is just like boohoo cry me a river

00:19:23.820 you know because men have I get that 50 years they're like they're like I got rejected twice

00:19:29.680 every day everyone's telling me I'm ugly and you could say that yourself because you're telling

00:19:34.100 you said that you reject hundreds of men right I do I do and you know that's that was not the

00:19:40.040 point of the video and that's that's the thing is maybe I misrepresented myself that was not the

00:19:46.220 point the point was like how hard it is just to be lonely it was not that I got rejected by two men

00:19:52.300 it was the fact that i was feeling really lonely and i honestly like i just wanted to someone to

00:19:57.380 talk to um and i totally get it but what the problem you're gonna get to is men are way more

00:20:03.940 lonely like do you know what i'm saying like men will say boohoo you're lonely you have a hundred

00:20:08.540 suitors ready to go even being an overweight woman an overweight man's not gonna have that

00:20:14.740 does that make sense sure that makes sense you're saying like you're getting like a tenth of what

00:20:19.380 men experience and you're complaining and that's why i went viral yeah i can see that yeah so it's

00:20:26.980 not um because women i just don't think we'll ever experience true loneliness because there's

00:20:32.500 always people wanting to hang out with us like you could i i can tell you're a charismatic girl

00:20:36.980 you could go to a a cafe and make friends like i think you you would easily get along with people

00:20:42.180 i do draw yeah a lot of people towards me just because i i tend to be a like for example the

00:20:50.560 reason why i posted that video really is because i always kind of have this mentality that if this

00:20:57.080 sounds bad but um if i put myself in the position of being vulnerable first then maybe someone else

00:21:03.300 will open up as well like if i open up and share something that i'm going through then maybe

00:21:08.580 somebody else will be comfortable to do that as well and i feel like you have to be a very like

00:21:13.140 humble person to do that it's it's not easy to do to to show people your vulnerabilities or your

00:21:18.420 weaknesses but honestly like i always think that there's an opportunity if i lay myself down at

00:21:23.420 their feet then who knows what opportunities will arise from that like if i say hey i'm i struggle

00:21:29.560 a lot with this this and this and i'm not a perfect person i'm just going to be honest about

00:21:33.980 it but i think at the end of the day like i have love to give and those that are willing to accept

00:21:38.460 me will accept me I think that that garners a lot of attention from the people that are willing to

00:21:43.180 to surround themselves with that kind of energy um I don't the last you said in the video the last

00:21:50.520 person you were spending time with um you said he left because of like an anxious attachment style

00:21:56.440 was that the boyfriend or was that the boyfriend that was somebody else I was not being very nice

00:22:03.740 to myself in that video when I worded the way I worded it because honestly I deserve better than

00:22:11.740 that guy a hundred percent like that guy was someone who I'm a very passionate person he was

00:22:19.800 a very nonchalant person like didn't have very many passions didn't have very many interests

00:22:24.780 didn't have a lot to talk about um he had just come out of a relationship and that was why he

00:22:29.880 didn't want another relationship. He was not ready for one. And you could say, I remember in the

00:22:33.920 video, you said he wasn't attracted to me. I was too fat, but well, I would definitely disagree

00:22:40.860 just because of experience. Lose 50 pounds and come back. I bet you it'll be a lot more willing.

00:22:47.480 I'm telling you. Men are very physical. They don't even realize how much they're enchanted

00:22:55.760 by beauty. I had a girl similar. I don't know what it is with the fat redheads. I've had two 1.00

00:23:00.080 fat redheads come on my show and lose a hundred pounds. So you could be next. You know what I 1.00

00:23:03.900 mean? I'm already 50 pounds down. And, but here's the thing is like, you may say like, oh, you may

00:23:10.600 be overweight and you know, the cards will change for you. But the men who are interested in chubby

00:23:14.740 women are very, very interested in chubby women. And they are not usually chubby themselves. Like 1.00

00:23:20.080 usually the guys that are interested in me are like 60 pounds lighter than me. And they just,

00:23:24.140 they want something to hold on to. And when it came down to it, he expressed his interest in

00:23:30.640 ways that I will not disclose. Right. But you, but you don't like those guys. That's what you're

00:23:35.700 saying. You're saying you're not happy with the quality of men you're getting, because if you

00:23:39.400 were happy with it, you'd be in a relationship. I'm an exception. And I don't mean to say I'm

00:23:45.900 special. I'm not. I'm just a person. But I have looked and looked and looked. And I have not

00:23:53.540 found anybody that i feel i would be happy with um but i also have been rejected by people that

00:23:59.600 i've wanted to be happy with i just haven't gotten to where i'd like to be um i really don't know

00:24:04.240 how else to put it um i genuinely this guy that i was talking to i thought that i could do better

00:24:11.000 but at the same time i was like a picture i won't put it on stream will you send me a picture i just

00:24:16.860 want to rate him one to ten i'm not i'm not going to show it you can unsend it right after i just

00:24:22.400 want to see how would i how would i go about that on instagram okay just let me picture on your phone

00:24:29.340 of you guys together or something i you can i can i can drop you for a second then you can come back

00:24:34.740 up she might she might be uh let's see 0.99

00:24:41.080 he was a very skinny guy tall with curly hair and glasses i gotta see it i don't know if i

00:24:51.240 you don't have his instagram handle i again i'm not i would never do that like that's

00:24:58.360 oh you you don't all right well it's all right you can go through you can come back i'm genuinely

00:25:04.040 trying to find one and i think i deleted it because once it's over it's over um yeah but

00:25:09.960 come on we're women women stalk their exes forever i wouldn't even consider him an ex he was a guy

00:25:16.040 that i spent maybe i went out with him three times oh there i found it yeah see i knew

00:25:23.800 i know i do have it hold on

00:25:28.360 so you hung out with him three times and then what he just said he that you were what did you do that

00:25:33.560 like made him say that like did you do something over the top or like what made him say that you

00:25:39.480 just want to i guess how old was oh how old was he

00:25:47.400 22. he's 22 okay because did you receive him um i haven't gotten it yet but let me refresh

00:25:57.240 um oh you know what

00:26:09.160 so this is my friend shiv he says it's crazy for me i literally had the jip hit the gym every day

00:26:13.960 with a trainer learn game spend the hours every day studying game riz go on a hundred

00:26:19.560 dates get rejected a thousand times to get good with women i'm gonna put that on the stream yeah

00:26:27.240 um and she can't lose she's got to lose more than 10 to 15 pounds she's 5'9 uh she should be like 140 1.00

00:26:35.440 oh that guy um okay facially and I will never I would never share um

00:26:46.620 I would put his he's tall but a four face I would say five four I would say below average

00:26:56.480 for face, but slightly, but he's tall in shape. Um, decent job. Okay. Okay. So just to give you

00:27:06.540 a little bit from the male experience, my friend Shiv, he's Indian. Um, so obviously he's going to

00:27:12.880 have an even harder time. You know, these Indian guys have it rough. It's crazy for me. I literally

00:27:17.880 had to hit the gym every day with a trainer, learn games, spend hours every day studying game and

00:27:22.580 riz i went on a hundred dates and got rejected a thousand plus times to get good with women 1.00

00:27:29.780 so just to give you a little insight to the male experience that's pretty normal

00:27:34.420 for like most probably like 70 percent of men had to do something like that

00:27:39.700 so you know they hear you you they hear you getting rejected twice

00:27:43.540 you know and they they don't see you putting any work you know they they see you're super

00:27:47.700 overweight for your age with like a ring and they're thinking like you haven't put any time

00:27:53.620 into studying what men want so like why can you be mad about the results that's how men are gonna

00:27:59.620 see it i'm not saying it that way but i'm saying that's why it went so viral because you're saying

00:28:04.660 you want something you know but your actions don't match it yeah but they also don't know much about

00:28:11.140 me um i spent three years on and off on tinder going on dates all the time and i i've been

00:28:17.860 rejected more than twice i go out like if i see somebody at a restaurant on a waiter i'll hit on

00:28:22.280 him um you know maybe that's not great because they're working but i'm not afraid i'm not afraid

00:28:26.920 to get a rejected that's not the problem at all um it was at that time i just had been feeling a

00:28:31.300 certain type of way and harder than it normally would have but i do put myself in position of

00:28:36.560 getting rejected and usually i don't take it very personally i know but i'm not i'm not saying the

00:28:41.020 approaching again the number one thing men look for is beauty right so again if you can't control

00:28:48.580 your eating like the way men are going to see it is you kind of deserve what you get you know and

00:28:54.240 they're not it's not you know i'm not trying to judge you because i've been overweight i get it

00:28:58.620 but you know i would say that should be your number one priority right now is losing weight

00:29:03.580 1200 calories a day baby i did it it's it's not too bad once you get past the cut

00:29:10.420 i usually i even eat less than that at this point um some some days i don't even eat and that's not

00:29:16.520 healthy either but i don't the thing is is i don't want to attract the men that you're talking about

00:29:21.340 i don't want them um well i would say that's all men all men prefer thinner women some some some 0.98

00:29:33.180 might um some men might go for bigger women because they're easier so they kind of the way 1.00

00:29:41.020 that a lot of guys see it is bigger women are just easier to get so they might not know of getting 1.00

00:29:48.300 like a super attractive girl it's the same thing for me i would say i'm pretty average looking

00:29:53.420 there's more beautiful women some some men might go for an a more average looking girl 1.00

00:29:58.460 because they view the beautiful women is too hard to get it's like too difficult

00:30:03.180 but they're always going to prefer the more beautiful and the thinner.

00:30:07.220 Looks matter. Looks do matter, but looks aren't everything. And, you know, I find myself beautiful

00:30:14.860 in a lot of ways. To women, though. They're not everything to women, 1.00

00:30:19.800 but they're a lot. They're probably like 80% to men up front.

00:30:25.440 You know, it's okay that I'm having such a hard time dating because I am trying to find the

00:30:29.280 exception when it comes to men I am not looking for someone who just judges me based off of my

00:30:33.160 appearances because in general there are a lot of men who say beauty is in the eye of the beholder

00:30:37.640 as well um the people that are attracted to your page yes they they guarantee they are looking for

00:30:43.360 just looks but it's not all men there are a lot of men that I've met that don't just include looks

00:30:48.100 and there are a lot of men who are attracted to me just exactly the way I am why why do you go

00:30:54.180 about it that way because i was in your position no no so i was in your position and instead of um

00:31:01.940 like why argue with me about what men want when you know you know deep down on some level that

00:31:09.540 men are more attracted to thin women why not just you know say i'm gonna lose the weight 1.00

00:31:14.500 like why argue why be combative why not just lose the weight and then problem solved

00:31:19.480 um that's a deep-rooted question and i would have to say it's because i've met good men

00:31:29.320 i've met good men so they're they're bad if they prefer thinner women that's what you're implying

00:31:39.000 i've met i mean the guy the guy you went for was tall right i don't think you're bad if you prefer

00:31:45.720 tall men you're five nine you know i i prefer tall men i do too yeah so why is it wrong for

00:31:53.480 men to prefer thinner women like why use the shaming language it's because i don't want to 1.00

00:32:01.000 because when you get older naturally you do usually gain weight you usually get wrinkles

00:32:06.520 you usually get gray hair and those are the type of men that'll leave me for someone younger i

00:32:10.200 don't want that i want somebody who prefers who you are as a person no but what they see it is

00:32:17.240 you're irresponsible and you lack discipline because if you're overweight you do lack discipline

00:32:22.520 you can't stop you like there's no reason you should be that big at your age there's no re

00:32:26.440 like that that like do you know how many cat like 10 pounds is 35 000 calories that means 0.98

00:32:33.560 um for years you've had to eat in a calorie surplus and do nothing about it to get to that point

00:32:38.760 so and and I was in that same position so again I'm not judging you I understand how it happens

00:32:44.260 but when it happened to me I knew that I lacked discipline so men see that as a character flaw

00:32:51.420 and it is I did lack discipline in that yeah category um and one of the things is I didn't

00:33:00.700 lack discipline in every facet of my life I got my bachelor's degree I'm in school I have a job

00:33:06.600 i make mo i make more money than most men i meet on the dating apps most men i meet on the dating

00:33:11.240 apps live with their moms right but most men don't care about that that doesn't make you

00:33:16.520 attractive because you make money that makes them attractive to us um and the way they're 0.97

00:33:21.800 gonna see it is you're probably overpaid so because most women are overpaid for their work 1.00

00:33:29.320 because men's jobs are traditionally harder so like for example you probably you probably

00:33:35.400 out earn like a logger you probably i am a lot of a lot of blue collar men that do way more

00:33:42.040 difficult jobs than you i do not get paid nearly as much as blue collar men and you know what as

00:33:49.720 a teacher who works you make more than 45 000 don't you uh bloggers log yeah i know so loggers

00:33:56.440 in um chicago i'm from illinois so they make like 45k so you you make more than a logger

00:34:01.800 maybe in Illinois, but not in California. I know, but what's with the arguing? Like,

00:34:08.040 what's with the, you just said you make more money than most men you meet on the dating apps.

00:34:12.380 Because most men in the meeting on dating apps don't have much drive. Okay. That's the thing

00:34:17.080 that I'm trying to like tell you is that I, you may see me as overweight, therefore less than,

00:34:24.020 or less discipline, but why can't I not judge men off the same criteria? I see these men that

00:34:30.860 haven't finished college that don't have a good job that are overweight themselves and then i'm

00:34:38.040 supposed to lose weight for these men i don't love those men well exactly but those are the men you're

00:34:43.600 going to get when you're fat when you're thin you get way better men so obviously like yeah when

00:34:49.280 you're fat you get the men with no jobs that's true those those are going to be the men you match 0.92

00:34:54.840 with. I, I, when I was single, I was in California on the data gaps. Every guy I met, every guy I 0.83

00:35:02.800 matched with had a good job and was attractive, but it was, it was when I was thin, you know.

00:35:12.220 I don't know if most people view teachers as overly ambitious. I don't mean to be rude. I

00:35:18.500 don't think they, they see it as a bad profession, but when people hear ambitious, I don't think

00:35:24.340 that's generally what comes to mind they also don't know what goes into it yeah but the problem

00:35:32.800 is there's more and more people not being able to read now that are graduating high school

00:35:36.960 and the test scores just keep dropping um you gain right weight and wrinkles after kids at 90

00:35:43.940 percent of our men are very reasonable with fair weight gain and wrinkles on a woman who has 0.98

00:35:48.180 multiple kids yeah because the way guys are gonna see it is they kind of factor in like 50 pounds

00:35:56.740 for when you have children so if a guy's gonna date you now and then you have his kids

00:36:00.740 he knows you're gonna probably gain like 50 pounds yeah so that puts you at like close to

00:36:06.900 the 300 mark you know i don't want that i genuinely

00:36:17.060 go ahead no i i understand it's it's difficult but um yeah there's solutions you can do so luckily

00:36:27.460 for you it's all fixable i think you have a good face card i think you have nice hair and um yeah

00:36:33.620 if you just if you just do 1200 calories for like six months baby you'll be hot you'll be

00:36:40.500 hot in six months and then you can get some really attractive guys with jobs so i'm telling you i've

00:36:47.300 seen my sister she was similar she was a similar age and weight to you and the quality of men is 0.94

00:36:51.620 super crazy different now and she's probably just 50 pounds lighter than you yeah i'm trying to 0.95

00:36:59.940 lose more weight, but I'm not trying to lose weight for men. I'm trying to lose weight for

00:37:05.560 myself. Um, and that's something that I feel like is really like, that's really different.

00:37:11.240 Maybe between me and you, I would rather make myself happy and then find people that are

00:37:15.960 attracted to who I am as a person. And you know, what I do and what I choose in my, my livelihood.

00:37:21.820 Why would a guy want to be with a selfish woman who won't do anything for him? 0.99

00:37:26.540 i'm not a selfish woman i would do anything for the man that i'm in love with but

00:37:30.620 except lose weight that's what you just said

00:37:34.380 but i'm just but i'm just a man who literally is so materialistic

00:37:40.700 how is it materialistic to care about health because if you're at the same weight he's gonna

00:37:45.660 have to take care of you when you're old isn't that kind of selfish to expect somebody else 0.99

00:37:50.620 to take care of you because you can't stop eating it is and i'm not sitting here on my ass doing 0.98

00:37:58.140 nothing i'm losing weight and i'm taking care of myself but you have heard the saying that like 0.89

00:38:03.820 you can't love other people until you love yourself first like you have to have something

00:38:08.380 to give you know what i mean right but my only disagreement was or i guess um i just i don't

00:38:17.100 understand why you wouldn't want to lose weight for a man and then you get surprised when men view

00:38:22.700 you as selfish when you say stuff like that that's what it is going to tell men oh she won't do 0.92

00:38:29.100 anything for me like what what if you gain weight in marriage and your husband says hey could you

00:38:34.060 could you get on the treadmill honey no i won't lose weight for a man they're like oh that's

00:38:38.700 exhausting no thank you you know you can lose weight and be happy that a man is happy for it

00:38:47.100 and be grateful but it shouldn't be for the man like it should be because when you do something

00:38:53.740 for someone else you are not validating yourself you know what i mean like you're like if i were

00:39:00.620 to it's it's just where it comes from it's where it comes from like of course i'll lose weight and

00:39:05.420 and like you know be happy if a man is happy and i'll be like okay great you know especially like

00:39:10.620 if you're in a relationship already and you lose weight together that like i would say that's for

00:39:14.460 us like especially if you lose weight for a partner i just i don't understand this therapy

00:39:18.940 talk because what it sounds like what i just keep hearing from you is do things for me to soothe my

00:39:25.100 needs don't care about the other person's needs and when i say when i say men are visual they

00:39:31.660 care about looks you say well i want to do it for me i don't care about him and then you know why

00:39:38.300 would a guy want to date someone with that attitude you know because when you're in a relationship a

00:39:43.100 lot of it's being selfless and not thinking about you you know it's about thinking about the other

00:39:47.980 i just i'm a little bit sad because i i i feel like you haven't met some of the great amazing

00:39:55.740 men that I have met that genuinely value women who work on themselves and try to become a whole

00:40:01.780 person. Because I think it's selfish to date a man, to use a man and to use them and to value

00:40:09.880 only the things that they can give you. What I'm saying is I want to become the most wholesome

00:40:14.440 person that I can be and then date somebody. I need you to explain what that means. Women 1.00

00:40:19.220 that work on them what does working on yourself look like making sure that you can take care of

00:40:26.900 yourself financially making sure you can take care of yourself emotionally making sure that

00:40:31.140 you can put yourself in the position in which you love yourself because if you don't love

00:40:34.660 yourself then who how can you expect somebody else to love you okay financially so what you

00:40:41.700 pay your bills i do i pay all of my bills i've i've never been in the position i'm saying like

00:40:48.420 that's what working on yourself is it's so crazy why wouldn't health fall into here

00:40:54.260 it does i'm working on my health okay um she is sort of in the area where men's are the 0.91

00:41:00.340 roles are reversed but she wants a man uh but wants a woman and she doesn't want to lose 1.00

00:41:07.140 the weight losing weight to be the reason

00:41:13.060 new subscriber pearl interesting all right well thank you guys

00:41:18.420 i just don't really understand the shaming language you use a lot of that where you're

00:41:23.700 like subtly shaming men for wanting what they want and then you you kind of imply you you

00:41:30.260 somehow imply that there's something defective about men if they want thin women but i also

00:41:36.900 feel like you're shaming me for being who i am as a person um because i said you would

00:41:44.100 get more attention if you lost weight i would get attention from people that are materialistic

00:41:51.500 so then it's a circle you keep going back to that there's something wrong with the men if they want

00:41:56.240 thin women i think there's something wrong with the men i don't think there's something wrong with

00:42:03.300 a man i think there's nothing wrong with a man who appreciates a healthy woman appreciates but

00:42:11.980 can't want it okay well is there something wrong with you because you want a tall man

00:42:18.220 there's something wrong with you you're materialistic but i don't you're you're so

00:42:23.340 materialistic because you chose a tall man do you see how that you you would say what's wrong with

00:42:29.020 you see but i don't only date tall men i've dated men that are shorter than me

00:42:34.780 yeah the gaslighting but the last guy you dated was six one so it's like he happened to be six

00:42:42.620 one but the guy after that was five eight and i'm five nine okay so you went an inch shorter what

00:42:49.660 about five five why not five four i've done that yeah i didn't prefer it but i have dated men

00:42:57.900 shorter than me and it wasn't well they don't they don't prefer men women fatter than them 1.00

00:43:03.260 so it's look at men will do anything. Um, so do you want male attention or not choose choose

00:43:12.380 men will do anything. They will, they will bang anything. I mean, I've again, my, my sister was,

00:43:26.040 she was overweight and she got tons of male attention. Uh, but it's for short term, generally, 1.00

00:43:31.760 generally speaking they don't want to be seen with you in public i i just can't i wish i could agree

00:43:38.400 with you but i can't because i see plenty of women that are overweight that are very happily married 1.00

00:43:45.280 very happily married with men that love them for who they are well i'm sure they're happy

00:43:50.080 it doesn't mean their husbands are why do you think that they are why do you think the number 0.97

00:43:55.040 one um do you know what the number one consumer of only fans is married men

00:44:02.560 because women gain 20 pounds in the first five years of marriage on average at least 20 pounds 1.00

00:44:07.600 or more so like if the men are so happily married why are they looking at these thin

00:44:14.720 22 year old only fans models i think those men are weird i'm sorry again you keep you

00:44:22.000 keep going back to i don't care what men want which is fine you know you don't have to care 0.86

00:44:26.400 uh you can shame men for wanting what they want but it doesn't change it i just think that like

00:44:31.600 it's also unfair to men that you're over generalizing them you're over generalizing and

00:44:35.280 saying that all men are like this and not all men are like that not all men are you an adult

00:44:42.160 are you an adult person okay do you understand that what a generalization is

00:44:51.360 yes and you understand that it doesn't mean every single person

00:44:57.680 yes so why argue please do you just argue for fun

00:45:04.800 is it no i just have i intrinsically have a different viewpoint than you because

00:45:10.720 okay so if you know that in general men like thinner women you know that to be true not every

00:45:16.560 single man but you know based on your life experiences that men like thinner women you're 0.96

00:45:22.640 not blind you're you're you're close to you're in hollywood you know who they cast in the movies

00:45:27.760 you know who's on the big screens um why argue this point why not just lose the weight

00:45:35.920 you know why like why try to bend reality to what you want it to be instead of just losing the weight

00:45:43.940 you can you can do it i believe in you 1200 calories we can even come up with a plan together

00:45:49.500 i'll help you out you know like what i think i do agree with you on is like maybe it would be great

00:45:56.480 this is fixable you don't have to live like it would be nice to have somebody who is happy for

00:46:03.720 me that I'm healthy. Right. And that's okay. But I don't want to be shamed. I want to be accepted.

00:46:13.140 I want to be, what I'm hoping is to find the person that loves me at both weights, you know?

00:46:18.740 Um, and I don't, I don't think that's impossible to find. And maybe that's not most men.

00:46:23.220 Do you think there's a burden of performance for women in relationships? 0.98

00:46:28.220 What is your burden of performance? Do you think it's just to be yourself? Or do you think you

00:46:33.540 have to provide something could you clarify that for me okay so if a man wants to get into the

00:46:41.720 relationship he has a burden of performance part of that burden of performance is being attractive

00:46:47.220 to you part of that burning so it might be being good in bed it might be being charming enough to

00:46:54.560 get you in bed or get you wanting to be in a relationship with him like he has to seduce you

00:47:00.000 to some degree then he has to burn the performance like protecting you providing if you want a more

00:47:06.180 traditional relationship there's roles that men have to do in a relationship in order to be with

00:47:11.600 you there's things that you like about men what should women offer in a relationship

00:47:18.420 unconditional love and support

00:47:23.660 okay give me tangibles what does that mean

00:47:30.000 Like what do you do weekly, daily? What does that look like? What are you doing?

00:47:36.200 For me or for all women? 0.70

00:47:38.760 We can go with you for now.

00:47:42.800 Ideally, I would have a job too and provide as well so that my partner, I want my partner to be

00:47:49.520 my equal. That's my dream is to have an equal. Okay, so half the bills, what else? Yeah, half

00:47:55.080 the bills, um, to be a mother, you know, to be a mother that takes care of her 0.99

00:48:01.920 children, um, and to, to put just as much work in parenting as the partner would.

00:48:08.620 And I suppose, yeah, I mean, emotionally available.

00:48:17.220 Okay.

00:48:17.480 So what does, you know, a loving, wholesome person who is an

00:48:24.780 equal. It's going to be a tough sell, Liliana. I wish you luck in selling it, but that's a tough

00:48:31.720 sell. Liliana, yes, all men want thin women. Pearl's giving you the key to getting what you 0.99

00:48:36.760 want, and you're not listening. Stop arguing and listen. She won't. I could give her a really good 0.90

00:48:42.840 diet plan so what you bring is being a wholesome loving person and that

00:48:56.440 that's actually not very easy to find to be honest

00:49:02.920 well it i i think i would disagree because otherwise you'd have like a line out the door

00:49:11.640 you know what i mean i like i disagree which is which is fine i'm i'm not you know i'm just saying

00:49:19.800 if you're gonna sell yourself that's not how i do it because you're saying i'll help with the bills

00:49:25.960 they don't care especially you want something you want you want men with jobs right you're too you're 1.00

00:49:33.000 big you're too used to dating the the jobless men they all they're they're good with the 50 50 but

00:49:39.400 But once you get into thin category, you're going to see, they're not going to care about 50, 50 rent.

00:49:45.080 I mean, one thing that I can give that not a lot of people can is I'm like, I mean, you said to yourself, like the fact that I'm willing to talk to you and maybe I don't agree with every point, but, um, I'm willing to hear you out and I don't think you're wrong in every aspect.

00:50:04.120 and i think that maybe maybe i'll look back on this video and say wow pearl is absolutely 100

00:50:08.440 right but you know i'm a person that's learning and i'm willing to learn and i'm willing to talk

00:50:13.080 to you and um i would in the relationship essentially do the same and a lot of women 1.00

00:50:17.960 are stubborn a lot of women are in the positions where it's like what can men give me what can men 1.00

00:50:22.360 give me i actually don't think and i was telling the guy i worked with i don't think you're fully

00:50:28.200 cooked you still have light in your eyes women kind of lose that as they get older yeah you 0.99

00:50:33.960 still have some light in your eyes but you got to stop with this arguing over nothing that's

00:50:37.880 going to be exhausting like if i can't make a generalization with you arguing about it

00:50:43.000 that's going to be exhausting to a guy i'm just taking a moment to think about it's okay you know

00:50:53.320 i understand i'm i'm not as women we just want to argue over everything you know okay shame is a

00:51:00.520 natural emotion and is a good thing grow up and be an adult um she ate today and she did feed the dog

00:51:08.120 she just kissed how many dogs do you have please tell me one uh just one okay there's no such thing

00:51:17.320 as a wholesome loving woman those days are gone women want what they want from a man if they don't 0.93

00:51:21.960 get it they will leave pearl is looking more attractive than normal i think you look better

00:51:27.080 with no makeup not trying to be offensive also shout out to the coach gang we're almost 600

00:51:33.800 men in here that agree with pearl why are you arguing um there is no such thing as unconditional

00:51:40.440 love yeah what what in your life would make you think that there is a do you think there's a such

00:51:48.680 thing as conditional love or sorry do you think there is a such thing as unconditional love

00:51:57.960 yes only because i experienced it for myself in the three-year relationship

00:52:06.040 well who ended it

00:52:10.040 they did did they say why no

00:52:14.440 okay so you unconditionally loved him and he did it wasn't reciprocated yes okay um is that and

00:52:25.160 did you gain weight during that period like was there a fight do you have any idea what ended it

00:52:31.800 uh we both gained weight um both of us did during the relationship we both gained weight um

00:52:39.160 um and after the relationship i lost weight just because i wasn't taking care of myself

00:52:47.800 um i wasn't eating well that's good sorry sorry that's good not eating okay so but like so what

00:52:57.160 was the last conversation he had like what was what did he say we had a lot of conversations

00:53:05.560 even after the breakup so it's kind of hard to pinpoint but I do remember

00:53:09.460 I remember this he had come over and he always told me I'm still very attracted to you that's

00:53:19.240 not the problem I'm still very attracted to you and the thing is is he confused me a lot because

00:53:23.240 he'd always try to kiss me he'd always try to do dot dot dot with me um how how old was he

00:53:29.340 were you the same age he was two years older than me and did he go off to college

00:53:35.220 no okay i hate to i really still do care about this person so i don't want to drag them down but

00:53:43.840 they did not finish college um they to this day only have a part-time job and they still live

00:53:50.640 with their parents so they but he was a very attractive i still hold to this day that he's a

00:53:55.960 very attractive person like he had a good face card yeah 100 and he was an athlete when he was

00:54:03.040 college before he dropped out um someone in the chat would you be genuinely happy with a 5 foot

00:54:09.360 10 inch guy he makes 30k a year is fat himself balding and is not funny or charismatic but is

00:54:15.120 a good guy can you accept him for life probably not so there's no such thing as unconditional love

00:54:26.400 when you grow to love somebody yeah but there's conditions that they need to meet to get in the

00:54:31.120 door with you right that's a good point that's that's a good point yeah and i'm not looking for

00:54:41.280 me it's the same there's certain conditions my boyfriend had to meet to get in the door um but

00:54:50.480 you know the conditions that men the standards men have is they want thin women 1.00

00:54:56.000 telling you you're not how many tattoos do you have uh only three three are they both chest

00:55:03.120 chest and what else so i have a chest tattoo right here and i have a back tattoo it's like from one

00:55:12.640 point of my back to the other corner and then i have a wrap around leg tattoo my whole thing with

00:55:18.720 with the tattoos was I had I had never I had been too afraid to commit to them in the past

00:55:25.180 I was afraid that I wouldn't love them when I got older but the women that I saw that had tattoos I 0.99

00:55:32.740 thought that they were so beautiful and I considered them art and I wanted to be like them

00:55:39.640 so I got tattoos for myself so that I could have that confidence I understand but you understand

00:55:44.960 all of your talking points are back to like what you want which is fine but it's just going to

00:55:49.880 indicate you're a selfish person you may be or you may not but everything you know because men

00:55:57.120 when they come in the door you know you know again there's a prerequisite like imagine if you

00:56:03.500 applied for a job and you wanted to be a lawyer and they're like and they're like did you go to

00:56:08.560 law school and you're like no i didn't want to go to law school and they're like and they're like

00:56:14.420 okay, well, I don't think you want this job. And they're like, well, I just want the job that

00:56:19.380 likes me for me. And they're like, are you sure you want to be a lawyer? Are you sure that's what

00:56:24.580 you want? And that's just kind of what you sound like. Cause I'm like, well, did you, why don't

00:56:30.540 you lose the rest of the way? And you're like, well, I want to, I want a job that likes me for

00:56:35.020 me. And I'm like, well, why don't you just lose the weight? And then really you're not going to

00:56:38.560 have any problems because you're not an ugly girl. And then you just keep going. Well, 0.79

00:56:43.380 I think you're judging me. And I'm like, no, but I just think the weight, you know, a lot of your

00:56:49.260 problems, you're not too tatted. I know they'll say whatever in the chat. Men will accept three 0.99

00:56:54.620 tattoos. That's fine. They're desperate these days. You know, you got a bowl ring. That's easy

00:57:02.320 to take out. You know, there's a lot of things you could do to make yourself like qualified for

00:57:06.600 the job. But if you take none of those steps, the men are kind of going to scoff at you because

00:57:11.220 they're like well she doesn't really want it she doesn't really want to be in a relationship

00:57:15.620 see but i just feel like when we're talking if i were applying for a law school job i'd say yeah

00:57:22.900 i went to law school i went to therapy i did everything that i need to i went to school i

00:57:27.060 put myself in position to make a lot of money you know the equivalent to that is saying well

00:57:30.820 i went to medical school and they're like we don't care that you went to did you go to law school

00:57:35.620 and they're like no i went to but i did all this work i went to medical school and they're like well

00:57:41.220 here this is a law firm well can we can we circle back to a point you made yeah go ahead

00:57:49.540 so you indicated that i'm selfish right or that i the way that i'm the way that i'm maybe

00:57:57.700 representing myself i think that i can be 100 i don't think you're absolutely wrong but i think

00:58:03.700 every person is selfish every person to an extent and when they find love they usually put that

00:58:12.740 to the side and which is something that i'm willing to do i disagree with you completely

00:58:18.740 i completely disagree no selfish people don't suddenly become selfless that does not happen

00:58:25.580 you'll be in you'll be in for a world of hurt in life if that's what you believe

00:58:29.660 being selfless is a muscle the same way nobody nobody that's good at basketball got there

00:58:36.400 without training being selfless is something you actively have to do it does not just come out you

00:58:41.940 do not become a different person in a relationship if you're selfless with your friends if you're

00:58:46.740 selfless with your family that's the kind of person you actually are um then you'll be that

00:58:51.220 kind of person in a relationship uh yeah i mean i definitely don't think i'm selfish i think i can

00:58:58.120 be but i don't think i am i mean when it comes to my profession and how i care about the children

00:59:03.000 and how i care about you know where what their needs are when it comes to my friendships i always

00:59:07.000 prioritize my friendships and what they need and when it comes to family i love so deeply and so

00:59:12.040 intensely so i don't think i'm a selfish person but when it comes to like working on myself and

00:59:17.880 trying to become a whole person sometimes you have to take care of your needs because you can't expect

00:59:21.960 somebody else to do that for you you have to work on yourself that's very very important and like

00:59:27.240 like we're talking about like i am working on losing weight so it's not like i'm not

00:59:30.520 completely listening to you because i do think that it would be a good thing for me to be thinner

00:59:34.920 no i don't i think you should drop everything else that should be your number one priority

00:59:40.040 right now and i'm telling you because you're going against time um because men men value

00:59:44.920 youth and beauty it like and i wish i did this when i was 18 i wish that was my number one priority

00:59:51.800 like why do you think you're overweight do you think it's are you eating out a lot high carbs

00:59:56.120 like what do you what do you eat in a day and please don't say nothing you did not get to where

01:00:00.200 you are eating nothing there's no no i i ate out i ate out a lot um when it came down to it i was

01:00:07.640 putting school first and i i put school first for a very very long time um and it always became a

01:00:16.120 priority like especially work so when it came down to it i'm sorry to reiterate but i was working

01:00:23.640 40 hours a week and I had 15 to 17 units. So I was really, really working hard. Um, and so

01:00:31.720 feeding myself, right. It wasn't the priority. And so what are you doing now? Are you eating

01:00:38.100 out still, or do you cook? Mix of both, mix of both. But I like today I ate out today. I had

01:00:44.560 butterfish. Okay. What's your, what's your, where do you eat out? Butterfish is what breakfast,

01:00:50.040 lunch dinner butterfish is like a dinner lunch option it's mostly like fish and rice give me

01:00:57.160 give me the restaurant so give me if you ate breakfast where would you eat out just tell me

01:01:01.220 it i don't eat breakfast i usually will eat one meal a day and it's dinner but then you eat one

01:01:06.920 meal a day butterfish okay so is that the restaurant butterfish restaurant and that's it

01:01:13.420 you don't eat any snacks you don't drink coffee yes i drink coffee you drink coffee you're not

01:01:19.900 be that without some liquid calories what do you get from starbucks i don't go to starbucks i go to

01:01:26.940 this place called dutch bros okay what do you get i get a chai oh those are terrible for you you

01:01:34.860 got to cut those okay so let's see i want to eat 1200 calories from dutch bros and butterfish

01:01:49.900 What can I eat in a day?

01:01:59.500 Grok is amazing.

01:02:00.500 I'm telling you, this changed my life.

01:02:02.880 What is it?

01:02:03.880 Grok.

01:02:04.880 All right.

01:02:05.880 Breakfast.

01:02:06.880 This is what we're going to do.

01:02:09.880 I'm going to send this to you on Instagram.

01:02:15.800 You can go on Grok and it'll make a meal plan for you based on the foods you already

01:02:19.720 like here you go eat this every day and you'll be thin and we can talk in six months and you can

01:02:27.800 have a body yachty all right chica there you go i do hope to be in a better place in six months

01:02:33.880 especially since i'm just going through a lot right you need to dump you need to drop this

01:02:37.720 therapy stuff they're going to make you worse i'm telling you that's not going to help you

01:02:42.360 i'm older than you i've seen women go down this therapy pipeline they're just going to make you 1.00

01:02:47.800 crazy it's gonna make you way too self-centered you're gonna overthink all of your emotions

01:02:52.600 you're a woman you're gonna have a bunch of emotions um and the best way to get over them 1.00

01:02:57.400 is to focus on solving your problems and focus on other stuff just just wallowing and whatever

01:03:05.160 you can't have it that bad you're in america you're in california which is a great state

01:03:09.800 you said you make good money you you're young you got a good you're not you don't have an ugly face

01:03:18.200 all you got to do you're going to lose the weight and everything's going to be better for you

01:03:22.520 i hope so everything i'm telling you i've done i've lived this i've done it my sister did it too

01:03:28.920 um so what you got to do is you got to figure out plans so every day what i want you to do

01:03:36.280 i want you to download chat gpt on your phone or grok okay is grok a paid subscription

01:03:44.280 uh i don't think so but you got to stop approaching men you're gonna have bad results

01:03:50.040 until you fix this problem this should be your number one stopped in yeah you can approach men

01:03:55.560 in six months when you're hot okay so what we're gonna do here chat gpt or grok you're gonna download

01:04:03.480 it every day you don't even have to track you use talk to text okay and every day this is what i do

01:04:10.520 i say i ate this this and this tell me how i could have ate better today so i can lose this

01:04:17.240 amount of weight in this amount of months i think for you i think you can lose five pounds a month

01:04:25.080 five i've been i've been losing almost 10 pounds a month recently that's great sometimes sometimes

01:04:31.640 that's too fast but if you can do 10 that's great it's not every month i promise you that but it's

01:04:36.920 anywhere from like three to ten pounds a month is usually for me what happens yeah because i actually

01:04:41.880 don't think you're cooked i think you can get what you want in dating i really do um i don't

01:04:47.080 think you have a super combative personality um i think you argue too much but i i don't think

01:04:53.320 you're completely cooked you seem a little bit introspective but this weight thing you got to

01:04:58.520 stop arguing about what men want and just become it you know then you're gonna apply to law school

01:05:04.680 and they're like, oh, you did go to law school, you know, you did, you seem very qualified for

01:05:14.780 this job. One thing that, you know, I'd like to like talk about, um, yeah, go ahead. And this

01:05:28.640 isn't all this isn't all men but like I've heard this before and I do somewhat agree with it is

01:05:35.200 that men will always put themselves first and women are usually the beneficiaries of that like 1.00

01:05:40.960 they'll you know work work out like the good the good ones right you know they'll work out they'll

01:05:45.300 take care of themselves they'll have a really good job you know um and they'll choose you're right

01:05:50.440 they'll choose the ones that they I think are attractive right um but men always are the are 0.95

01:05:55.480 they always always always always put themselves first always that is just not true that's my

01:06:02.160 experience that is just not true at all you know when it comes to a relationship then if men wanted

01:06:11.520 to in society they could have us all in cages and be sex slaves because they have the monopoly on 1.00

01:06:17.700 force they don't do that they give us all these rights they said fine ladies you want to be men 0.93

01:06:24.180 go be men, go make money. I think women did that. You can walk and pop. Oh yeah. How would women 1.00

01:06:31.080 enforce that? I just don't think it would have happened unless we fought for ourselves. Like

01:06:37.360 there was two parts, right? Like maybe men allowed it, but we also fought for ourselves

01:06:43.500 and it never would have happened. They would have never graciously given it to us. We would

01:06:47.100 we had to fight for it oh no like okay um if you're gonna have a political change

01:06:56.620 you need enforcement right sure who has a monopoly on force men or women

01:07:06.140 men okay so women can't do anything without men enforcing it 1.00

01:07:17.740 there are two parts to that story though not really it's pretty simple

01:07:24.060 so you think that men would have just come around and given us rights when it came time 0.72

01:07:27.820 that would have never happened well one the history is a little bit misguided women never 1.00

01:07:33.340 didn't have rights if we're going to be honest about history but women like to be victims they 1.00

01:07:38.060 always want to see themselves as um you know being taken advantage of or blah blah blah

01:07:44.940 um i would say that women actually um 1.00

01:07:53.180 have more rights than men now yeah i would say women we live we really live in a matriarchy not 1.00

01:08:01.260 a patriarchy can you can you defend that like i just i'd like to hear i would just like to hear

01:08:14.140 okay so men run the entire infrastructure of society sure so they do the plumbing all of 1.00

01:08:21.260 the blue collar all the hard jobs in society the phone lines they're like 90 plus percent

01:08:26.700 of inventions everything hard that is done in society women have the easier jobs 1.00

01:08:32.460 you're a teacher nothing against teachers but you just can't convince me that watching kids

01:08:38.380 from eight to three is more difficult than chopping wood you just are not going to convince me of this

01:08:45.740 women i'm not going to try yeah yeah women are majority of human resources 1.00

01:08:50.380 women women i mean even me as a podcaster if all podcasters disappeared tomorrow society would be 1.00

01:08:56.220 fine and running yet we are still paid the same close to it anyways i think that's unfair i think

01:09:04.300 men are underpaid and women are overpaid but women are just the ceos of complaining i'm from chicago 0.98

01:09:10.220 right in chicago the teachers shut down all the schools for like two weeks whining and

01:09:16.060 crying about how they weren't paid enough yet there's men in alaska on fishing boats

01:09:20.620 where one person dies a week and they don't complain they don't say they're oppressed when 0.98

01:09:26.380 men are literally dying to give us crap where women get these cushy jobs where they're in 1.00

01:09:32.220 air-conditioned places they're in offices and they're i think they're overpaid for it and yet 0.99

01:09:37.260 and then they still call themselves victims or oppressed and even historically it wasn't really

01:09:43.020 what they say on tv and stuff that women had to fight for rights like for example they say women 0.60

01:09:47.900 didn't have bank accounts but most men didn't have bank accounts either the society was mostly cash

01:09:53.660 so things didn't really run on like um or sorry credit cards um things didn't run on credit cards

01:10:00.540 and people just got married young and men made most of the money they were responsible for the

01:10:05.020 debt so that was why like they didn't have it because women didn't have the responsibility 1.00

01:10:10.380 that came with it another example is voting they say women oh women were so oppressed because they 0.94

01:10:14.700 didn't have the right to vote well the reason they didn't have the right to vote was because

01:10:18.700 it came with being drafted in the war but women always say oh i want the good thing i want to vote 1.00

01:10:24.380 but i don't want to have to go to war and that's what we have today where the men get the vote but

01:10:29.180 but they also have to do the hard things where women get all the fun and the 1.00

01:10:32.840 good things, but they don't have to do the hard things. So, um,

01:10:37.480 yeah, like I, I, we're kind of brats actually,

01:10:41.600 like especially teachers, no offense to you,

01:10:44.380 but you guys complain way too much. You get three months off of the year and

01:10:48.360 they, they're, I think that's great. I mean,

01:10:51.220 they're striking in Chicago and not teaching the kids while men are dying.

01:10:57.080 You know what I mean? Like it just makes, you know,

01:10:59.080 it's like um the men like the men are literally dying to give us crab and women will say eh

01:11:05.880 whatever but i have to watch kids it's like you like come on bud i wouldn't say that teaching's

01:11:15.160 an easy job um but i will say that comparatively compared it like and i could and i could show you

01:11:22.440 because there's women that post their day in the lives as teachers like come on are you know what 1.00

01:11:27.560 here we're gonna i'm gonna show you something

01:11:32.280 and you can be honest with me really you think that your job is as hard

01:11:38.920 let me share this hold on hey i didn't say that what i'm trying to say

01:11:43.800 i just want to show you because it makes it more real look at this

01:11:49.480 i mean like where is where is the men containing

01:11:54.760 literally a guy a guy dies every week they fall off the boat and they're dead

01:12:00.040 and the teachers are complaining give me a break

01:12:03.820 you see what i mean i see what you mean i just want to argue that i i want to say that like

01:12:18.340 they do deserve to get paid more but so do teachers like I'm not saying that like maybe

01:12:25.320 men are underpaid I'm not saying you're wrong like maybe men are underpaid but I I want it

01:12:30.940 comes down to it like I'm over $12,000 in debt to go to school and I went to school to be a teacher

01:12:41.800 and I literally had to work an entire year without getting paid. An entire year where I was working

01:12:48.940 eight hours a day and going to school and paying for school and I didn't get paid at all. I didn't

01:12:57.240 get paid at all for an entire year. Well then why would you go into a profession that's not high

01:13:03.360 paying? Everybody knows teaching is not a high paying profession. It's not but I'm passionate

01:13:08.440 about it right but that's the trade-off so women say i want to do an easy job and get paid a lot 1.00

01:13:14.520 it's like okay now you're being a brat you know it's that we say okay ladies go into engineering 1.00

01:13:21.800 that's the hard job then you can get paid a lot and they say no i want to do what i'm passionate

01:13:26.360 about and i say well then take the pay cut i don't have you know which is which is fine but i i'm

01:13:34.040 saying like you don't get both you don't get the easy air conditioning jobs without doing math or

01:13:40.440 you know i think i'm i'm blessed in a lot of ways i'm blessed you know but that doesn't mean i don't

01:13:46.680 struggle i struggle a lot and you know it's hard because this is one of those jobs that you know

01:13:51.640 it it takes a lot of work to lesson plan and to prepare and to grade and at the same time i'm in

01:13:58.280 school right now so i'm doing you know 15 units see the complaining you see you're complaining

01:14:04.600 right right and then yet go back to this hold on hold on these guys not complaining you see

01:14:13.080 you're going back to being a complainer well these guys are like almost dying and they're

01:14:18.520 not complaining and that's men versus women women like you i'm sure that if we had a conversation 0.99

01:14:25.640 with them they would complain no they wouldn't i actually i actually have had conversations with

01:14:31.960 these kind of men you know i've interviewed thousands of people at this point i have

01:14:36.600 talked to them and they don't complain ever or okay let's let's do another equivalent um

01:14:47.640 you know then we got the man running the video is heart-stopping

01:14:51.560 a mother desperately running into fire a burning building and yet you say but the grading the

01:14:59.560 teaching but i have to i have to grade teach and you know it's not to diminish what you're doing

01:15:05.800 obviously we need teachers but it's just not the same you know it's not the same but you are

01:15:11.780 diminishing what i'm doing i'm saying i deserve great pay but those men deserve more pay than me

01:15:16.920 yes do they deserve more i'm actually saying you don't deserve great pay i'm saying you deserve

01:15:23.000 what you get and if anything i think the teachers are overpaid because you guys get three months off

01:15:28.360 in the year so i'm i'm saying i'm saying we got to stop telling women you deserve everything 1.00

01:15:33.720 sometimes you don't i don't think we do tell women that we deserve everything and i think

01:15:38.600 that you just said you deserve great pay and i'm saying you don't deserve great pay i deserve better

01:15:43.800 pay for having an education and putting myself because if you just you deserve okay that's again

01:15:49.960 let's go back to the law firm example i deserve this job well you didn't go to law school

01:15:57.880 no but i really deserve it i deserve this job well no you you deserve what you get how is your

01:16:05.640 example accurate when i did go to school to be a teacher when i put in five years of my life to

01:16:09.720 study and better myself okay okay i'll give you an equivalent they say i deserve a lot of money

01:16:14.520 and they say you're a public defender you you could have been a high-end lawyer you should have

01:16:19.000 went to the school for the high-end lawyers or in this equivalent i deserve lawyer pay well you're a

01:16:26.360 teacher then why didn't you why didn't you go to the lawyer school well but but i i um i deserve

01:16:33.560 the great picks i wanted to be passionate about it well you don't deserve it you deserve what you get

01:16:39.720 I just, um, I was thinking about this the other day and like, for example, I feel like people in the military deserve to get paid more, but who gets paid more celebrities and, um, athletes, like they get paid an incredible amount that, you know, I, well, most don't be fair to be fair.

01:17:00.680 a few do but most don't i i was in female athletics for a long time and i knew a lot

01:17:06.760 of male athletes also most do not make money and that's that's why though because like the reason

01:17:13.800 is military they know if they go in the military the pay structure is very like um it's a lot more

01:17:19.560 stable right whereas an athlete they might have a lot of money for two years so they're they're

01:17:25.480 they take a lower pay because of stability i i could see what you're saying military should be

01:17:30.680 paid more but that's the reasoning is that you i mean i i've i'm in my industry i've seen people

01:17:35.880 go broke you know because they're unemployed they're famous one year i'm just talking about

01:17:40.920 you know the people like the people we see on tv they make thousands thousands upon thousands upon

01:17:47.240 thousands and you know even in the hundred thousands and i think to myself you know their

01:17:53.480 life is cushy compared to some of the people that had to grovel. But then again, I don't

01:18:00.560 want to diminish them because they worked their entire life to be an athlete and they

01:18:05.300 have a talent and they have a routine and their diets are rigorous. And so it's like,

01:18:09.460 who am I to tell them that they don't deserve it? You know what I mean? It's just like,

01:18:12.540 I don't feel like you should tell me that I don't deserve, you know, good pay when you

01:18:16.300 don't know the struggle that I've been through. But I am saying, I do agree that the people

01:18:20.340 that you're telling me about that risk their lives yes of course they should get pay i mean i'm sure

01:18:24.320 they get hazard pay no doubt about it i'm talking to you right and i have this with a lot of women 1.00

01:18:30.380 so it's not just you sometimes i feel like i'm i'm talking to kids and the reason is because

01:18:36.100 they just say everybody deserves everything and i you know at the end of the day the marked market

01:18:43.080 dictates the the results the need you know if something's really difficult to do it's paid more

01:18:48.960 The reason athletes are paid a lot is because it is pretty difficult to be an athlete in a very small percentage to get to that point.

01:18:55.900 So when you say, well, I deserve more and everybody deserves more, it's like, well, that's not pragmatic.

01:19:00.640 There's only so much money to go around and the hardest jobs and the smartest jobs are going to get paid more.

01:19:08.540 Occasionally, there's exceptions to this rule, but as adults, we know that exceptions don't make the rule.

01:19:13.980 So we're not going to go back and forth about every exception that exists, right?

01:19:17.240 we're we're trying to get no yeah um the only like the big reason i think that teachers deserve

01:19:23.760 to get paid more is because of the fact that they have to put themselves themselves through

01:19:28.000 an education and not get paid for the entire year in order to become a teacher especially since

01:19:33.500 they are literally preparing these individuals to become the future generation of who who's going to

01:19:39.700 do things i just think it's a it's a very it's a very important role maybe it's not as hard and

01:19:44.860 consider it cushy but it's the problem is you guys are doing such a bad job

01:19:50.780 it's not us and and curriculum well you can try to and that's kind of what happens women whenever 1.00

01:19:57.580 we fail at something we always blame somebody else okay but if i'm if i'm being handed a

01:20:02.700 curriculum and said teach this i can't change that okay the administrators are mostly female also 0.98

01:20:09.180 though not the people that create the curriculum um so education is primarily female it's like 90 0.97

01:20:18.860 women or 80 women this goes for the principles of the schools who get to pick the curriculum 0.99

01:20:24.540 this goes for the people behind the scenes it's a very female-dominated industry 1.00

01:20:28.620 so you know if the curriculum's bad then i i blame the school i went to a private school and

01:20:35.100 it was a mostly male um administrators and we we did a lot better than the public schools um but

01:20:42.300 you know what happens is women go into an industry and they tend to ruin it now you 1.00

01:20:47.980 know in chicago there's kids graduating high school that literally can't read

01:20:52.460 they cannot read and unfortunately for teachers you guys have done such a bad job that your

01:20:58.300 reputation is just terrible people do not view teachers in the same way they used to 50 years

01:21:04.380 ago because the kids are coming out super liberal um they're putting a lot of this trans stuff in

01:21:09.580 books people are sick of it um and the kids they don't know how to do basic math they don't know

01:21:14.460 how to read um and when this has happened to your friends people that you know across the board

01:21:21.420 people you know teachers have a reputation now i'm not saying it's right or wrong but

01:21:27.500 it's kind of the reputation that you guys have

01:21:32.540 so and i by the way i can even say my job podcasters we have a terrible reputation

01:21:38.700 and i would say it's deserved you know i you know this isn't me trying to come at you

01:21:45.180 because people hate youtubers and influencers and i can totally understand why i mean i can

01:21:50.700 i can like respect yeah i can understand why uh teachers people don't really like teachers

01:21:56.700 because you guys are doing a bad job people don't like youtubers because every other day they're

01:22:01.820 like caught in some criminal activity or doing something shady you know i've been in this

01:22:05.740 industry a minute so i mean like i definitely respect that you know you probably put a lot of

01:22:12.540 see i mean that's that's something that's interesting is your life you've put so much

01:22:18.460 time into this and it was not easy to get to where you are you know um but even according to your

01:22:24.220 standard you'd say your life is cushy but but you shouldn't you but you don't deserve to be told

01:22:29.820 that you didn't work hard to get to where you are because you did you worked very hard yeah but i

01:22:34.060 think there's a red pill for women a lot of women believe they're in the positions they are um and 1.00

01:22:39.180 that we tend to get a big ego and i could kind of hear it when you were talking you said oh these

01:22:43.900 guys aren't getting degrees they aren't getting degrees but you also said you're in debt so who's

01:22:50.060 the who's the dumb one you know what i mean you're the one in debt where they're the ones living at

01:22:54.140 their parents house with no debt you know and yeah you think you're smarter you know it's kind of 0.98

01:22:59.100 funny but what happens is there's a point where most of the stuff we're given is just because

01:23:03.900 we're women and we have it way easier than the men and i went through this too where um you know

01:23:10.780 honestly i'm one of ten kids and i have five boys five girls so i really saw the gender difference

01:23:16.380 my brothers are way smarter than me and they had to work 10 times harder and yet they i make more

01:23:22.940 money it's not fair they provide a more valuable service but i'm a woman in a niche industry and i

01:23:31.340 somehow pulled this off my brother did a bunch of engineering stuff that was very difficult

01:23:37.100 i could not have done that so it's the i don't think it has anything to do with the fact that

01:23:43.740 you're a woman i think it's just the industry no no it's because i'm a woman and i i can tell you

01:23:48.060 because there's a guy who's been he hates me and he i actually think it's kind of rightfully so 0.71

01:23:53.340 because he has been in this industry for like 20 years and i just came into the industry after like

01:24:00.220 two or three years and i like lapped him in followers and views and all this stuff he was

01:24:04.860 pissed and i understood why he was pissed because he did all this work i didn't do and i was more

01:24:09.580 famous and made more money i think it's just because you're so controversial you know i mean

01:24:14.140 i mean oh no he's controversial we're in the same industry like i he has similar talking points to

01:24:19.100 me he's way smarter no no but you're like you're a woman that like you're a woman that like hates 1.00

01:24:24.540 women like that's no i don't hate women i hate stupid women and women that don't take accountability 1.00

01:24:31.340 for their choices so i know unfortunately that's most women i hate like i actually i don't hate 1.00

01:24:39.260 you i'd like to say but i like what it's very frustrating when you know i have to have a 30

01:24:45.180 minute conversation with you about like instead of just saying yeah men like thin women i'll let 1.00

01:24:51.340 maybe i should lose weight like that could be such an easy sentence and with a man i've had fat men 0.99

01:24:57.020 on here and i had a very similar conversation it's very easy i tell them the same thing i say hey 0.96

01:25:01.580 hey, you're fat. My producer, actually, one of them, he, you know, I said something along the

01:25:10.800 lines of like, you can't really demand anything from women if you're fat, you know, and he started

01:25:15.780 losing weight. And, and anyway, so this is, but the difference with, is when I say things to men,

01:25:23.460 they just say, they agree. They say, they don't say, oh, like even the man you showed me,

01:25:28.520 he was thin. That's the crazy thing. You like thin men. The men, sorry, but when I say this

01:25:39.120 to men, they say, you know what? I should lose weight. But when I say this to a woman like you, 1.00

01:25:44.300 I have to argue with you for 30 to 45 minutes about that men like what they like. Yes,

01:25:52.160 there are exceptions, but in general, you're not going to get what you want until you lose weight.

01:25:57.020 and that's that's a true statement that's actually way and i'm being way nicer to you

01:26:01.940 than all these body positive women that are going to lie to you 24 7 all these women hate you they 1.00

01:26:08.100 really do i want actually something better for your life all these women they hate you because 1.00

01:26:13.640 they're just going to tell you you're perfect as you are all these men they want to bang you

01:26:17.720 so they're not going to be honest that they're they're leaving you and not calling you back 0.94

01:26:22.020 because you're fat and and that's me being honest that's me i'm the nice one and i get such a bad 0.87

01:26:28.680 rap you know i like i told my little sister the same thing when she was a little younger than you 0.99

01:26:35.680 and she lost 100 pounds and her life has completely changed um see i do think that you

01:26:44.900 could be honest but be kinder but you wouldn't garner as many views if you did um and you may

01:26:50.120 i have been nice to you the whole time i i have been perfectly polite i haven't raised my voice

01:26:55.880 i haven't yelled at you i haven't screamed at you i agree i agree i just i think that

01:27:01.240 you might not like the reality but there's podcasters that scream at women i don't even 1.00

01:27:06.200 raise my voice sure i mean you could say like you could say i'm overweight but you say fat because

01:27:12.600 that that gets more attention right well you are fat and that's okay just lose the way you don't

01:27:18.840 have to be like that's not an insult uh your your obesity at 240 i mean this is bad and i no one's

01:27:28.360 really being honest with you about how bad it is but five nine and to be honest nobody everyone

01:27:34.360 told me i wasn't fat when i was fat and i hated him for it later because i'm like why didn't you

01:27:39.560 just tell me my god 240 5 9 240 bmi um okay 35 you have 35.5 body fat if you're being honest

01:27:51.320 about your weight which you're probably not but let's go with that 35.5 body fat which is

01:27:58.440 categorized as obese right um i think that's actually class two obese so you're not there's

01:28:06.360 there's normal there's overweight there's obese and there's super obese aren't women usually 1.00

01:28:12.680 anywhere from like 24 to 28 body fat something like that they usually hold a little bit more

01:28:18.440 because of no i mean they they change again what happens is women make all the spending decisions 1.00

01:28:24.440 in society so a lot of people are paid from women because women make 80 of consumer buying decisions 1.00

01:28:32.920 so to put that in perspective if you're a business you can either make eight dollars and lie to women

01:28:38.040 or make two dollars and be honest so most people are going to pick eight dollars so they always

01:28:43.320 change everything to confuse you 17 to 22 21 body fat is where you should be as a woman 1.00

01:28:50.840 especially if you haven't had kids yet did you say 22 yeah 17 or 17 to 21 body fat that's where you

01:29:00.200 should be um all right so let's let's say 22 let's say 22 or 21 how much do what do i need to weigh

01:29:11.560 to be and don't believe that stuff that says the bmi chart is inaccurate it's pretty accurate

01:29:17.160 i've done the scans i've gone pretty in-depth unless you're like a body builder it's pretty

01:29:22.520 accurate and you're not um i'm gonna do 20 probably fat um because i'm pretty high muscle

01:29:30.840 and it's still pretty accurate for me um okay so you need to lose 110 pounds you should be 130 to

01:29:38.680 144 pounds i that's you need to lose 100 pounds i'm gonna be honest with you i don't think i will

01:29:48.680 ever weigh that i will lose weight i won't lie to you but um okay let me put this in perspective for

01:29:53.320 you you're gonna have a life of misery wait but let me let me put this in perspective for you

01:29:58.280 because i'm gonna read this really quick and then i'll let you go hey pearl i'm a marine of 24 6 1

01:30:03.880 blonde hair blue eyes i live in vegas come to vegas we'll get married and have a honeymoon 0.70

01:30:08.520 the following morning and then get it annulled uh no thank you but i appreciate the offer okay

01:30:13.640 keep going. Okay. So when I was 17, I was a swimmer and a water polo player and I was working

01:30:21.760 out year round. So mind you, I wasn't eating very much. I was swimming two to three hours a day. I

01:30:27.900 was burning 800 to a thousand calories a day over winter session. I did water polo and swim camp at

01:30:34.600 the same time. So it was four hours a day during summer camp. I would, I would do swim camp,

01:30:40.140 water polo camp and lifeguard i was working and i working up that much all the time i was 170 pounds

01:30:48.860 yeah so again that's because you're how many calories were you eating a day

01:30:54.620 not very much i can promise you that it's just not true look you got it you got it

01:31:01.420 okay so if i was so how many hours a day did you work two hours three

01:31:05.980 workout i would say two and a half hours is a fair fair assessment i when i was when i was 18

01:31:14.500 i was working out two and a half hours of let's just say cardio of cardio a day and swimming is

01:31:23.480 hard swimming is very hard he understands it swimming and i i weighed 170 oh he definitely

01:31:32.220 left you because you're fat i'm not gonna lie you went from 170 to 280 yeah you know not during

01:31:39.020 that time i went from 170 to 230. yeah i mean that's still pretty bad and i weighed 170 pounds

01:31:49.500 um how much was i eating a day at five nine to still to still weigh that much because you said

01:32:01.260 you might be drinking the calories because that was a big problem for me. I figured out I was fat

01:32:08.340 because I used to drink caramel lattes all the time. At your weight, I bet you drink two or three

01:32:14.040 chai lattes if you eat one thing for dinner. I bet you have a sugar drink addiction.

01:32:21.640 But when I was in high school, that couldn't have been accurate because I didn't have money. I didn't

01:32:25.860 have a job. I was 17. I ate when my parents fed me. And when it came down to it, it was home

01:32:31.180 cooked meals. You're probably eating 3,740 calories a day. I'm telling you, look, look,

01:32:38.940 if you want to gaslight yourself, it's totally fine. You were eating too many calories. If you

01:32:45.060 are overweight, you do not gain weight without eating too many calories. I would like to send

01:32:52.620 you a picture from when I was in high school and I was 170 pounds and I was not overweight. I was

01:32:57.200 very thin and i was tall too and i had a lot of muscle at the time i that's the thing is like i

01:33:04.200 no you would be chubby i would say because i'm all right 175 nine you're like that's probably

01:33:13.580 10 to 20 pounds overweight in america now they tell you even when like you would be close there

01:33:20.980 but you'd still be overweight i just that doesn't make any sense to me because i was working out

01:33:29.060 so much and not eating very much at all and okay okay be fat forever i don't care

01:33:34.260 i don't care look at you could deny reality it's fine i don't care you can be fat approach men at 0.62

01:33:41.460 the bar and have them not talk to you if that's the life you want to live then live it no one's

01:33:46.500 going to stop you live it live it be fat forever if that's yeah if that's the life you want to live

01:33:57.700 but you can fix it and if i were you i wouldn't work out at all

01:34:03.540 literally you need to be studying nutrition every day after work that's what i would tell you to do

01:34:09.640 because i'm telling you i i was the athlete who worked out four hours a day and i was still fat

01:34:15.660 and it was because I didn't get a handle on my eating.

01:34:18.180 Once you fix your eating,

01:34:20.660 then you don't even need to work out.

01:34:27.720 But you got to know everything you're putting into your mouth.

01:34:30.660 You need to weigh your food.

01:34:32.040 It's going to be really annoying,

01:34:33.240 but you just need to do that for three months

01:34:34.840 and you'll know so much by the end of the three months,

01:34:37.860 you're going to be able to make better decisions in all situations.

01:34:45.660 or stay fat. I don't care. I'm trying to help you here. If anything, I'm way nicer than all

01:34:50.780 these people that cater to you. I mean, I can agree with like, I'm overweight now that I

01:34:58.460 struggle now, but saying a 17 year old who was working out as much as I was and eating as little

01:35:03.820 as I was, I mean, I, my family, my family, they definitely struggle with weight. Like genetically,

01:35:10.760 they struggle with weight more than most people do so i'm sure that that was a factor as well

01:35:15.880 but um if you saw they have bad habits again i i come from a family that struggles with weight

01:35:23.640 and the the reason we struggle with weight is because we all have bad habits we snack you know

01:35:31.240 my um my boyfriend like he it's weird because he just doesn't snack and when we started dating i'm

01:35:38.200 like how do you just not snack and he's like my family we just never snacked and i'm like you just

01:35:42.920 eat meals and um anyways it's it's not it's literally the the reason it's like genetic

01:35:50.840 or whatever it's because parents pass down bad habits i never snack i know i know you're probably

01:35:58.920 thin i was fat people that snack or drink coffees it's crazy i could have guessed chai it's always

01:36:05.880 chai or caramel lattes. I just hope that if I have any students that see this, that they know

01:36:20.240 that the only thing you can do is be kind. And I'm never going to judge my students. Like,

01:36:30.700 i would never i would never call my kids fat i would never do that i would i would advocate

01:36:36.940 like you said to work on yourself and be healthy but i think you're meaner than me

01:36:42.400 because it's people like you that lie that enable the behavior i think i'm the nice one i think

01:36:49.960 you're the mean one because you know you get to you get to feel like a good person and lie to them

01:36:58.340 So you get to say, oh, and pat yourself on the back and say, I'm such a nice person

01:37:02.100 because I would never say that, even if it was true. And I get the pushback. People say I hate

01:37:10.580 women or whatever, but I'm the one being honest. So the liar gets all the good person points and 0.68

01:37:17.280 the honest person gets all the bad person points. Well, be fat forever. I don't care. 1.00

01:37:24.060 it's not my problem i'll help you though if you ever want to lose weight

01:37:29.100 i still love people even if they struggle with their weight i don't i don't think you do though

01:37:41.280 because loving someone is being honest with them regardless of how it makes them feel

01:37:47.160 do you think when i told my sister and i could literally play you a voicemail she left me the

01:37:52.960 other day do you think when i told my sister that she was fat that she was really happy i

01:37:58.640 did it at the time she wasn't she was actually pretty mad at me and now um

01:38:06.720 nah i'm not gonna play it but now she sends me voicemails thanking her

01:38:11.760 saying thank you so much for being honest with me no one was honest with me

01:38:17.440 you can be honest but you can also be kind

01:38:19.360 do i yell at you i don't raise my voice yeah but your words are pretty sharp you know

01:38:28.080 how so am i insulting you i think that you're being honest but i think that you could use

01:38:34.080 kinder words and um okay how would how i how would i describe 35 point type 2 obesity

01:38:40.400 i almost feel like if we were gonna i mean this is why you get so many views it's just

01:38:51.500 the way you come across but i feel like if i were to talk to somebody um i would be honest but i

01:38:57.020 would be kind when i was being honest like just you know say hey you're overweight but you know

01:39:02.920 um there are things that you could do about it and you know i'd love to help you but i just

01:39:07.440 i just sent you a whole meal plan lady what more do you want i know but i hear you're saying i'm

01:39:13.940 fat that i'm i don't deserve the money that i get that i don't deserve to get more money and that

01:39:20.260 if anybody's ever gonna like me i'm gonna have to completely change everything about myself it's

01:39:25.560 like i didn't say no no no no but see here's the thing you can't deal with criticism or anything

01:39:31.820 negative and this is the problem with women is where no one's ever honest so when you hear 1.00

01:39:35.580 someone that's honest it seems mean i actually i gave you a lot of compliments during this too

01:39:40.700 i said i said you have a good demeanor i said you're not cooked i said i said you have a nice

01:39:44.620 face i i said you know you could live a great life but you keep choosing obesity type two so

01:39:53.660 it's fine if i couldn't take criticism i wouldn't be if i couldn't take criticism i wouldn't be here

01:39:59.180 you know um but i've i as well have agreed with a lot of things that you've said and

01:40:04.940 um for the most part i haven't really you know snapped back or anything like that you know

01:40:09.580 i i said that i value what you have to say i just feel as though yeah i i do think you're polite but

01:40:15.500 i i don't necessarily think i i just think in life most women no one's ever honest with them 1.00

01:40:22.540 so that's probably the first time you've ever heard you don't deserve more money where most

01:40:25.980 people will just coddle you and say oh you do deserve more teaching is the hardest profession

01:40:30.140 blah blah blah teaching is not the hardest no no it's not the hardest but it's not easy

01:40:37.500 it's not easy don't waste your time with working out right now i mean i just wouldn't waste your

01:40:42.460 time i would just stick to nutrition like you can add in working out later you know that's

01:40:50.060 i don't really think i have time for the working out at this moment anyways i'm an intern i'm a

01:40:55.660 student and i'm a full-time teacher there's just so what's your what's your schedule right now so

01:41:01.260 it's like seven to when do you get off work okay so actually it's 8 30 to this is actually really

01:41:09.420 one of the great things about teaching is i work essentially a seven hour a day which is amazing

01:41:15.260 um so it's 8 30 to 3 25 every day and i have class in the evenings so i have

01:41:24.860 three classes and then i'm an intern which means i have three coaches that come in and evaluate me

01:41:30.380 which means i have to do lesson plans i have to prepare i just want to know all of these

01:41:37.180 i don't need to know what you're doing i just want to know the hours so 8 30 to 3 and then

01:41:41.100 what's the second block 8 33 and then it would be 5 30 to 9. okay and you do that seven days a week

01:41:51.260 or five what's the three five but the class class is only two days a week okay so the second block

01:41:59.660 is only two days a week yes correct okay so that's still three days a week that um you get off at

01:42:07.340 three then oh that's not so bad it's not so bad um it's mostly the mental strain like the the actual

01:42:18.620 hours of being a teacher is not so bad it's mostly the mental strain of like how much work i have to

01:42:23.300 do off the clock you know um because you're you're grading your lesson planning but then you're also

01:42:29.320 doing homework so it's just there's so much stuff that's unaccounted that you don't get paid for

01:42:34.520 you know what i mean like it's a lot of stuff you do for free honestly

01:42:37.400 in fact sometimes it's not even free sometimes it's me paying out of pocket for classes for

01:42:45.020 work that I have to do. That is enough time to work out, I won't lie to you.

01:42:56.480 But I don't think you should start with that. I would just get 10,000 steps. It'll take you

01:43:00.160 like two hours, but then you don't have to think about it too much. On your phone, there's a health

01:43:05.180 app and um and it usually will track your steps um yeah so i wouldn't really worry about dating

01:43:17.020 i would do that for six months 10 000 steps 1200 calories and then you should come back and show us

01:43:24.220 you should come back yeah um i definitely i definitely will um since i'm working on that

01:43:29.020 anyhow so but i just i don't understand how you want me to say it you know i think i'm nice

01:43:37.420 if you don't think so it's all right i can't win them all

01:43:44.620 i don't recommend my fitness pal sorry guys i've used that it's too annoying to put everything in

01:43:50.780 I like grok. Okay. So you said you want a 50, 50 partnership. Yeah. Okay. So you don't mind

01:44:02.780 have having 50% of the bills for a lifetime. No, I don't. Would it be nice if somebody stepped in

01:44:10.700 and decided to pay for shit? Awesome. Okay. But I'm not going to expect that, you know, like 1.00

01:44:14.800 I'm a human being, they're a human being. I do not mind paying 50% of the bills. Like I feel like

01:44:20.260 how many kids do you want honestly anywhere from zero to three it just depends depends on what the

01:44:30.500 guy uh that's part of it that's a huge part of it but it also depends on just where i am at in life

01:44:38.540 because right now i'm thinking i don't want any kids like right now i'm thinking i would rather

01:44:43.960 take things slow but i also know that there's going to come time in my life where i will want

01:44:48.800 them. I just think it's later in life. I'm just hoping that I have a partner that I see would be

01:44:53.640 a good dad. And then at that point in time, I'd be like, yeah, I'd be willing to have anywhere

01:44:57.840 from one to three kids. It's just not now. I feel too young. I'd like to wait until I'm like 28 to

01:45:03.680 30 to have kids. So what's been your success rate with approaching men? So if you approach 10 men,

01:45:11.740 how many would you say are interested generally zero zero i i get rejected often

01:45:20.620 well i told you how to fix that you know okay so would you ever propose to a man 1.00

01:45:29.260 and if so would you want him to take your last name no you would not propose to a man

01:45:36.780 i i i would be willing to propose to a man but i would not be willing to have them take my last

01:45:46.000 name okay i think i feel a little too traditional for that okay can you can you get off my lap go

01:45:56.780 go back go back do you want kids and are you okay with being okay we said the kids if you

01:46:03.060 have children are you okay with being the are you okay with being the breadwinner

01:46:07.120 like would you ever take the majority of the bills if i had a better job i wouldn't mind

01:46:16.320 but i don't think my job is enough to support me and three kids and my husband i don't i don't

01:46:23.020 think i make enough for that are you willing to take the bull ring out are you going to keep that

01:46:28.320 in. It looks like it's out, is it not? I can't see. It's not out. I like it because I feel

01:46:35.560 like it makes my nose look longer. That's like a really specific thing. I think I would

01:46:39.320 be willing to take it out. It just depends. Like right now I like it, but that doesn't

01:46:43.660 mean I like it forever. I'm willing to take it out at some point in time. Okay. And then

01:46:52.060 how have the dating apps been treating you? Like how many guys have you met from there

01:46:57.080 that like want to date or like what's been so you had the three-year relationship and then

01:47:03.760 like what was after that did you go on dating apps did you meet guys at school

01:47:08.540 did you not guys at school I've met guys at work um mostly dating apps though and for the most part

01:47:17.380 guys on dating apps only want one thing and you know what that is they don't nobody's on a dating

01:47:24.360 app because they want a serious relationship it's not everybody that's on a dating app everybody

01:47:28.560 that has been on a dating app says that they want a serious relationship but they have never

01:47:32.200 committed to it and that happened when i was thin too you were never thin but um sorry but the no

01:47:42.200 there are people meet off the dating apps and they want relationships

01:47:47.740 that's like every other couple i meet that's how they met

01:47:52.300 this guy shiv he met his girlfriend on hinge

01:47:58.000 which is okay it just means you're doing something wrong you know

01:48:03.860 yeah i suppose so i mean i did meet my three-year relationship on tinder which is

01:48:14.280 okay so is it because after they like sleep with you they stop talking to you is that

01:48:22.280 why you think or is it because you go on the date and they say they just want something casual like

01:48:27.880 what makes you think they don't want anything serious i'm not judging i'm just wondering which

01:48:33.080 like what what actually happens is i don't you know do really a lot with most men um i don't

01:48:40.600 but what happens is like we go out to dinner and i'm like you know what are you looking for if if

01:48:46.920 they haven't already told me and they usually say i'm just looking for somebody to spend time with

01:48:52.920 i'm just you know um i want basically everything a relationship and titles but i don't want the

01:48:58.920 actual title of a relationship that's what happens pretty much every time okay so it's because they

01:49:03.400 say that on the first day the challenge you're going to get is most guys they don't want the

01:49:08.600 pressure. So if they say they want a relationship up front and then later they start dating,

01:49:17.380 sorry, they start dating you and they decide they don't like your personality for whatever reason,

01:49:23.900 because that happens all the time, right? A guy starts sleeping with a girl and maybe in the

01:49:28.140 beginning he wants to date her, but then he gets to know her and he's like, oh, she's a little crazy

01:49:33.260 or she's got that, you know, what I, and you know, it's the same thing with us, right? I'm sure you've

01:49:37.820 slept with a guy before where you start hooking up and maybe you just, you didn't want to date

01:49:43.840 him or dating him, getting to know him for whatever reason you eliminate him. That happens

01:49:47.800 with men and women. So when guys say that up front, um, it's not necessarily that they don't

01:49:54.840 want a relationship. They just don't want the pressure because after you have sex,

01:49:59.540 the burden of performance is on us. That's when you have to be a likable person.

01:50:04.020 yeah it happens in the beginning it's usually oh you know i'm not looking for anything serious

01:50:11.940 right now i just want to go on dates and have fun that's it yeah it's hurting my leg can you go

01:50:20.260 back seat please go and then do they usually like like they just leave after that or what's the

01:50:26.900 like do you end it or usually what what happens next honestly after a first date ow dude you get

01:50:37.220 out of my car go oh and what what age range are you dating um anywhere from like 22 to like

01:50:48.820 30 31. would you ever consider going a little older than that or no

01:50:56.900 uh depends on the person i guess okay um because sometimes

01:51:05.300 there she goes i think her phone probably died it's all right we were kind of wrapping up anyway

01:51:16.580 what do you guys think i'm not looking for anything serious with you yeah i know i know

01:51:21.860 but sometimes guys say that it's not because they're not like open to something serious it's

01:51:26.100 just they don't want they don't want um

01:51:44.340 oh there you're back did your phone die

01:51:49.220 no it's my dog um she's being particularly needy at this moment um she was climbing my nap 0.99

01:51:56.100 knocking my phone over so I accidentally exited out but uh it depends on the person because some

01:52:02.500 guys I almost feel weirded out when they like me a little too young but then some guys I genuinely

01:52:07.560 feel like they're looking for a connection and I kind of feel it out and see how I feel about it

01:52:11.200 it just depends like especially since like I've talked to an older guy and he wanted to see

01:52:16.640 pictures of me when I was 18 and I was like that's really weird that's really really wanted to know

01:52:21.600 she's trying to see what you looked like before you got fat he's like does this girl have

01:52:26.520 potential or not can i like can i can i fix her okay well i would extend extend your range up to

01:52:37.180 a decade um maybe even 15 years to be honest you're going to be able to shoot a little higher

01:52:43.440 less attractive women because when you go for men your age you're competing with the women your age 1.00

01:52:48.460 so like there are other choices or women your age that look better than you but you're young

01:52:54.320 so if you go a little older you have the youth on your side you can get a little bit better

01:53:00.240 looking usually um okay well that's all my questions i think i got for you thanks for

01:53:05.800 coming um i sent you your meal plan so you know i think you should come back in six months

01:53:12.840 and just tell me how much better your life is um is this on a certain platform or is this

01:53:21.340 on youtube as well this is just on youtube live it's on twitter live you're welcome to pull any

01:53:26.040 clips and put on tick tock i don't mind okay thank you you can just screen record or whatever

01:53:32.100 download it either or um but thanks for coming on um if you ever want to come back let me know

01:53:39.900 and sounds good appreciate it you having you thanks for coming all right i'll see ya

01:53:46.220 yeah have a nice one you too

01:53:48.940 yeah you know she was cool i didn't really

01:53:57.820 actually do you know what i would have her on the um if she if she wanted to do it i would invite 0.99

01:54:05.520 her to a weekly show. I don't know if she would do it, but you remember that show I was trying to do

01:54:10.960 with somebody that was like reoccurring, but the women were just too bitchy. 1.00

01:54:18.740 This was good. Maybe life changing. I doubt it, but I didn't have to mute her. I know this was 0.76

01:54:24.900 like the first woman. I see good qualities in her nice voice, willing to attempt to be reasonable.

01:54:31.140 um yeah i know i know i know she's she's not completely cooked yet i can tell when

01:54:40.540 somebody's like cooked like they're too far gone i there's no

01:54:46.120 you know what i mean like i she's not completely cooked

01:54:53.120 anyways guys thanks for watching i love you guys um so please come back uh tomorrow i'm not going

01:55:07.760 to do a show but i'll probably do a show tuesday oh no tuesday's my birthday i forgot

01:55:16.600 Women's birthdays. We have to cry. I don't want to. No. No. Not my birthday. No. No. 0.98

01:55:37.780 I don't want to get older. No.

01:55:46.600 why are you reminding me

01:55:52.720 have a good fight and happy birthday

01:55:56.400 yeah i'll probably stream on my birthday

01:55:59.080 i know yeah you're right i'm 22

01:56:08.560 i'm totally 22

01:56:13.000 do. I know the wall is staring into my soul. It totally is. You heard her insult me just after.

01:56:25.980 Well, I kind of passed for 27. Shut up. No, I don't. That's funny. The other day I was at a 1.00

01:56:41.980 karaoke bar and someone was like, so you're what, like 29, 30? And I was like, even though I was

01:56:48.700 like two weeks away from 29, I'm like, I've never been so offended in my life. Why can't you just

01:56:56.340 say 25? Just lie to me. Just lie to me. You know what I mean? Like anyways, anyways. All right,

01:57:02.960 guys. Um, thanks so much for watching. Please like the video and subscribe and I will see you

01:57:08.720 guys next time. Bye-bye.

Pearl - November 03, 2025

Is there hope for lonely women？ Lilliana Gomez joins Pearl Daily.

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