Pearl - Jake Maddock Joins Pearl Daily

00:00:00.000 Faster than any demographic in America over the last 40 years.

00:00:03.500 It's a different world now.

00:00:04.520 Like, we don't need men the way that they used to.

00:00:06.540 Nobody needs men!

00:00:07.780 The future is female.

00:00:10.860 Men and women are drifting further apart, and society is crumbling because of it.

00:00:17.700 A fascinating debate has broken out about the value of merit.

00:00:20.620 We've kind of got the trad con versus red pill thing.

00:00:23.320 This men's rights crowd that sometimes just goes too far the other way.

00:00:26.760 You need to stop acting like grown boys and infants and actually become men.

00:00:30.980 Marriage is a bond, and it's a sacred bond.

00:00:33.600 It's a machine designed to extract resources from you.

00:00:36.620 Now many of the red-pilled have taken the position that it's bad for men to get married.

00:00:41.560 Hannah Pearl Davis, or just pearly things.

00:00:45.240 One of the most controversial faces in all of the internet.

00:00:48.860 She goes on to say that marriage is a terrible deal for men.

00:00:51.720 Because if me and you were in a business contract,

00:00:53.700 you would never sign a contract where I am paid to leave.

00:00:56.760 gee what could go wrong there 74 or something of divorces are initiated by women men have

00:01:02.920 everything to lose primarily their own children men get killed by the courts and by divorce laws

00:01:08.120 i had no idea that courts of family law were courts of equity not courts of law because in

00:01:13.400 family court you don't need evidence to accuse someone of abuse you need no evidence when you

00:01:17.800 guys say get married young a lot of these men don't know what they're signing up for

00:01:21.160 and you're not going to be there when their entire life falls apart i interview them on the other

00:01:25.720 side. I didn't meet my son until he was 15 months old. How much did you spend trying to get him

00:01:31.140 back? The legal fees alone was about $200,000. Before you know it, you're homeless. You're

00:01:35.440 literally just thrown out onto the street. We absolutely reinforce bad behavior from women.

00:01:39.640 Wives are taught to leave their husbands and then daughters grow up without their fathers.

00:01:43.960 Family is the foundation of society. Every problem in society comes from single mother homes. A lot

00:01:49.040 of women will just chase this negative rabbit hole of happiness, endless happiness. Feminism's

00:01:53.540 biggest failures is it lies to women. We tell women to date as many guys as possible. We tell

00:01:57.120 them to put off family into marriage. You are allowed to leave your perfect husband. You are

00:02:01.700 allowed to end a relationship with a really great boyfriend. Oh, freeze your ex, have an abortion.

00:02:07.660 What? You're evil. I don't think there's anything else in life that we actually ever go into

00:02:11.440 preparing to fail. Like if you have the mentality of this is going to go wrong and be pessimistic,

00:02:16.880 naturally the outcome is going to be that it's going to fail anyway. It's self-sabotage.

00:02:20.480 That's the thing, like, women are so willing to leave marriages because they're not happy.

00:02:24.320 This is not about happiness.

00:02:26.120 The most important thing is the children.

00:02:28.420 And the problem is we have a modern society where it's me, me, me, my feelings, leave

00:02:33.100 when I feel like it, instead of doing what's best for the kids.

00:02:37.000 This myth that we live in an age of male privilege, where's my male privilege?

00:02:40.740 They think, well, men have all the rights.

00:02:42.280 They have all the power.

00:02:43.560 Privilege, patriarchal system that we have.

00:02:45.820 Why doesn't our society care about men's rights?

00:02:48.120 I have no friends.

00:02:49.780 No way.

00:02:50.480 Men are alone in this situation.

00:02:53.620 Men are homeless.

00:02:54.580 Men are thinking about eating guns.

00:02:56.400 I've seen so many men on the brink of suicide and they didn't do anything wrong.

00:03:00.800 How are you equal if the men are the ones that have to fight and die to defend the country?

00:03:06.220 The men are the ones that build and maintain all the infrastructure.

00:03:10.120 Women are helplessly dependent upon men.

00:03:12.380 The so-called deaths of despair from suicide, overdose to alcohol, three times higher among men than among women.

00:03:19.580 Culture is telling men, you are no good.

00:03:21.640 You've got to get your act together.

00:03:22.860 I think men have failed themselves.

00:03:24.480 What kind of a man are you?

00:03:25.720 What kind of a woman are you going to attract?

00:03:27.680 If men are in trouble, so are women.

00:03:30.340 Everybody knows this is a huge problem, but nobody wants to admit it.

00:03:34.020 Every single woman at the table said they wanted a man to get...

00:03:36.500 500K.

00:03:36.920 500K.

00:03:37.520 300K.

00:03:38.320 200K.

00:03:38.760 Am I crazy?

00:03:39.480 Everything is really set up against you to fail as a man.

00:03:41.720 If men make less than women, women don't want to marry them.

00:03:45.160 So you know who wants more economically and emotionally viable men?

00:03:49.240 Women.

00:03:50.740 I don't want to be an independent woman anymore.

00:03:52.880 I don't want to be a strong, independent woman.

00:03:55.140 I'm over it.

00:03:56.300 When is it going to be my turn?

00:03:57.600 Where are we meeting the men that don't stop?

00:03:59.360 I can't keep having these same conversations.

00:04:02.160 The only simp here is you, Pearl.

00:04:03.420 You simp for men.

00:04:04.020 No, I think you simp for women.

00:04:05.440 She's a provocateur.

00:04:06.420 She says stupid stuff.

00:04:07.600 But Pearl is right about this.

00:04:08.860 It's already happening.

00:04:10.020 It's just not out in the open yet.

00:04:11.420 Now it's just hookup culture is going to be our fairy tale ending because men don't want a wife and women can't find a husband.

00:04:16.920 The future, if everybody follows your path, is there is no future.

00:04:21.420 We go into population decline and our economy goes into decline.

00:04:25.280 Civilization will crumble.

00:04:27.060 The American story does not end well.

00:04:29.600 This is an existential crisis failing young men.

00:04:37.380 What is going on, everybody?

00:04:39.920 Welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.

00:04:42.080 As you guys know, that is our intro video.

00:04:44.640 and then a trailer for our upcoming documentary.

00:04:47.800 The challenge is they have demonetized me for a year and a half,

00:04:50.820 so I had to start from square one raising funds for this,

00:04:55.000 and we have raised $25,000 for it, which is amazing.

00:04:58.740 However, we need to get to roughly $100,000 to get it finished.

00:05:02.660 So if you guys want to donate, feel free.

00:05:04.780 The link is in the description. It's the second one.

00:05:07.540 Okay, so getting into today's topic today,

00:05:10.700 we have a special guest on the show.

00:05:13.260 and um guys if you have a question for the guest we're going to be doing more of these sit downs

00:05:19.180 feel free to super chat um be be nice always be respectful of the guests so please don't make me

00:05:27.200 read anything that makes it awkward for me okay so today's guest i'm actually a fan of his stuff

00:05:32.960 and i've seen him come up on my tiktok a good amount so his name's jake maddock he has 120

00:05:38.460 followers on instagram almost 400 000 followers on facebook and almost a million followers on

00:05:45.860 tiktok where he coaches people to get into 10 out of 10 relationships um let's bring him up

00:05:52.780 and let's welcome jake to the show

00:05:55.080 hey pearl how are you my friend i'm good how are you fantastic fantastic thanks for having me

00:06:03.820 Thanks for coming. What time is it over there?

00:06:07.480 About 10 a.m.

00:06:08.460 Okay, so it's early.

00:06:11.580 So welcome to the show.

00:06:14.540 So I was kind of curious, how does one become a relationship and like dating coach?

00:06:20.320 How did that start for you?

00:06:22.600 Mostly passion, basically.

00:06:24.680 So I want to help as many people as I can.

00:06:27.320 The long story is I was pretty bad at relationships.

00:06:30.860 No idea what I was doing.

00:06:31.920 my parents relationship isn't very good never has been it's okay but didn't really know what I was

00:06:37.020 doing and then I started learning and studying from other people and learning everything there

00:06:41.500 was to learn and then once I achieved it I thought well I gotta I gotta teach other people this too

00:06:45.440 and now here we are seven eight years later and I've coached thousands of people and I love it

00:06:50.760 okay because that was kind of my first question was um how long have you been doing it and what's

00:06:57.960 like your best success story? Oh, I got lots of great success stories. My favorite success stories

00:07:05.380 are people who, who are women who either came to me as widows or ones who've come to me and they

00:07:14.100 have some, there's usually something holding them back. Like I've helped a lot of people achieve a

00:07:19.000 10, a 10 out of 10 who are deaf, who have hearing aids, stuff like that. Nothing major holding them

00:07:24.780 back, just something small like that. But watching them achieve a 10 out of 10 when I didn't think

00:07:28.640 they could achieve it. Amazing. And what would you say are the main things that are holding

00:07:32.940 people back from getting into the relationships that they want? Because, you know, I come from

00:07:38.440 like, um, more of like a reporting, I guess, angle, and the stats are pretty grim when it

00:07:43.640 comes to dating and relationships. So how do you help people find that? Like, despite the odds

00:07:48.880 nowadays yeah it's a good it's a good question what's interesting about what i do pearl it's

00:07:55.500 100 success rate so every single person i coach achieves a 10 out of 10 most people achieve it

00:08:00.280 within six months some people take longer but they everyone achieves it i i'm a strong believer that

00:08:05.900 everyone can achieve it 100 i think every single person can achieve it as long as you have the

00:08:10.060 ability to go on a date you can achieve a 10 out of 10 now it always starts with mindset a lot of

00:08:15.740 people have such a negative mindset they go well every guy I meet is going to be terrible you know

00:08:21.540 this isn't going to work I'm going to try but there's I'm not going to succeed this is a waste

00:08:27.400 of time they've already failed before they've even started right so we work on that mindset

00:08:33.500 get that confidence going so then they can really start to get some progress happening

00:08:37.560 and then from there I show them how to get dates proper high value proper dating right so they're

00:08:42.680 doing proper dates. And then I teach them all the fundamentals that I teach, the masculine,

00:08:46.700 feminine energy, how to communicate effectively, how to set boundaries, how to do all that stuff

00:08:51.260 the right way. And then that's it. Then you've achieved a 10 out of 10. Okay. And is it mostly

00:08:56.140 women that you coach or do you coach men too? It's probably 80, 20 split. Okay. And what are

00:09:02.100 the differences and the challenges you get from men versus women?

00:09:05.280 so when i'm coaching a man i'm going to teach him lots of you know masculine energy sort of stuff

00:09:15.040 the leadership ambition all that sort of jazz with the women that i coach it's a lot of the

00:09:20.380 feminine stuff in the feminine communication so the nurturing the caring the support and the joy

00:09:24.180 is how to push a man into his masculine energy how to get him to lead how to do all that sort of

00:09:28.320 stuff um that's the main differences um but that's about it you know when you find your ideal

00:09:34.800 partner it's a beautiful mix of chemistry compatibility x factor they can do the job

00:09:38.700 which is the same either way regardless of your gender and you've really had never had one person

00:09:45.200 that was just like you've never had anyone weird or like just really unlikable that just could not

00:09:50.800 be helped in this industry it's a good it's a good question you know what i mean it sounds

00:09:57.060 unbelievable to me i i you know i i don't really like your stuff but i'm like nobody that that you

00:10:03.700 just couldn't help go ahead so here's the thing to think about yeah so i've coached a lot of people

00:10:09.940 and yes some of them i don't particularly like as people like they're not evil or anything but

00:10:14.920 just like that's a bit of a widow right yeah but the thing is i'm going to help them find their

00:10:20.280 widow yeah yeah so then they can be together i'm not going to have a relationship with them

00:10:24.880 but i'm going to help them achieve it yeah so yeah no they've all they've all achieved the 10

00:10:31.540 out of 10 some of them look terrible as well you know people who are really tall really short

00:10:37.080 ones who have great bodies ones who are really big and fat they all achieve a 10 out of 10

00:10:41.960 they're not the most beautiful couple but they're in a 10 out of 10 and they're really happy

00:10:46.540 yeah which is it's not a beauty contest but yeah yeah they're not everyone's cup of tea but

00:10:52.860 you only need one person just one person to have a great relationship with and so are do you tell

00:10:59.440 people to meet their people on the dating apps do you in person like what's your strategy for

00:11:04.960 sourcing dates so my philosophy with this is you want to maximize the chance of success

00:11:11.740 so if you really say say if you're single right now and you go okay i want to achieve a 10 out of

00:11:17.180 10 this year i'm going to maximize chance success can use online dating going to try to beat people

00:11:21.580 in public going to you know might go to speed dating might talk to friends if they have anyone

00:11:27.020 single i'm just going to maximize the chance success and talk to as many people as i can

00:11:30.400 so online dating so out of the thousands of people i coached there's been about a handful

00:11:36.160 who have achieved it organically but 99.9 online dating yeah that's what i've seen too i don't

00:11:44.400 really see people that go the in-person route have a ton of success um that's just what i've

00:11:50.980 seen it seems like most people it's either instagram or dating apps nowadays statistically

00:11:56.220 it's just too slow to meet in person because you can meet you might if you try really hard you

00:12:01.340 might meet one attractive person a day but online dating you can talk to a hundred it's just

00:12:07.140 statistically a lot faster yeah and so what do you suggest for first dates what do you typically

00:12:12.560 is it dinner drinks a movie so always a high value date so a movie is not a date i love movies a huge

00:12:21.480 movie buff but a good date has very high communication if you're watching a movie

00:12:25.900 there's very low communication so that's no good so no movies no drinks no coffee no going for a

00:12:31.740 walk that's all it's not enough effort on the guy spot so this is how this is how a high value date

00:12:37.960 works a guy also go on a date hey can i take you on a date this friday she says sure and he goes

00:12:43.760 great i'll pick you up at seven he goes he picks her up open the car door for a full gentleman

00:12:48.040 stuff then ideally he takes her out to some sort of activity any sort of activity something usually

00:12:53.800 to break the ice mini part whatever some sort of menial sort of activity just to get comfortable

00:13:01.640 basically and then from there he takes her out to dinner okay he pays for everything he's organized

00:13:07.080 everything he does it all and then after that he takes her home and hopefully he did a good enough

00:13:12.520 job that she wants to kiss him do you think that's too high investment for a first date

00:13:18.520 i think if people dated like that that would have more success so one of the rules which i have when

00:13:25.440 i'm coaching someone is if a guy wants to see you it must be a high value date okay that is the bin

00:13:30.900 yeah okay because i think from my point of view i would think that if it's awkward or we don't get

00:13:38.360 along that i'm like stuck the whole night so yeah i'll say that yeah yeah you have to be a good

00:13:45.640 judge yeah so like probably talk to the guy for a week first before going on the date do a do a

00:13:52.420 video call yeah do a phone call like have a good so you go okay this guy's we get along pretty good

00:13:58.120 it seems like we have decent chemistry so then if you go on the date you're like okay i know it's

00:14:02.640 going to be at least pretty good okay so you kind of you vet the guys more before you actually get

00:14:08.720 on the actual dates 100 yeah because a good a good high value date goes for about four hours

00:14:14.760 okay and it's we don't do short dates we want to do a long decent date so you have enough time to

00:14:21.540 build the attraction up create chemistry and create a spark some compatibility if it's too

00:14:26.260 short there's enough time to build attraction right so get to know them a little bit before

00:14:30.660 the date and then by the time the date happens you got a real chance that it's something awesome

00:14:34.840 being built um and how many dates on average your clients have to go on before they find someone

00:14:42.160 they really like and do you tell the women that if they don't like the guy like first date to

00:14:47.380 still see him again or just to cut it so the amount of dates it takes when i'm coaching someone

00:14:53.600 to achieve a 10 out of 10 on average is about 15 high value dates so if you do 15 first dates you

00:14:59.480 should have met your ideal partner approximately some faster some small but average 15 um now if

00:15:05.420 you go on a first date with somebody sometimes they can be a little bit nervous right so it's

00:15:10.440 kind of hard to tell if there's much attraction there so i say well look if it's you know it's

00:15:16.160 a six out of ten sort of attraction like they're okay give them give them one more date okay but

00:15:22.320 At a second date, you should be able to feel something special there.

00:15:28.380 And do you coach women to hold off on sleeping with the guy?

00:15:32.960 Do you tell them at all when they should, when they shouldn't?

00:15:36.400 So I know the guys watching this are going to be like,

00:15:38.880 what am I getting laid in this whole thing?

00:15:41.600 Yeah, yeah, 100%.

00:15:43.640 Sex is a very interesting topic.

00:15:46.680 It's a very, it's almost like an emotional thing.

00:15:51.500 it's a very feeling based thing sex right so my rule is i want you to do it when it feels right

00:15:57.800 that's my rule so that's very open to interpretation okay i'm going to tell you a

00:16:04.180 fun statistic though out of the thousands of people i've coached about 75 of the people

00:16:09.360 slept with their ideal partner on the very first date yeah that's

00:16:14.560 yeah because i feel like it's like if you don't want to pretty quick then you just never will

00:16:20.320 would you agree with that most of the time yeah go ahead yeah when you meet your ideal partner

00:16:26.320 the compatibility is amazing so you want to talk to them all the time the chemistry is so amazing

00:16:31.340 that even on the first date you want to rip their clothes off right yeah if that's not there it's

00:16:35.840 not usually a great sign like we want that chemistry really high yeah so what do you tell

00:16:41.840 women that are afraid that like they're not going to get called back if they sleep with the guy too

00:16:45.900 soon i tell them to change their expectation on it so i go okay if you want to sleep with the guy

00:16:54.280 you do it okay yes there is a chance he may not want to talk to you again maybe yeah or he might

00:17:01.920 want to be with you forever you don't know when you sleep with someone doesn't determine that

00:17:06.780 so you might wait three months and then sleep with him and then he doesn't talk to you again

00:17:11.080 or you can do it on the first date and i'll talk to you again it's you don't know right

00:17:14.760 but that's why I go okay if you want to do it you do it with and there's no expectation

00:17:20.200 afterwards you go okay well if he wants to see me again great if he doesn't want to that's okay

00:17:24.420 I did it because I wanted to do it yeah no that's a better mentality to have if you take the L it's

00:17:30.540 going to happen sooner or later a hundred percent yeah a hundred percent you don't you can't get

00:17:36.080 anything go ahead sorry I think there's a delay no it's okay if you sort of go well I don't want

00:17:43.680 that to happen it's sort of making it transactional which love's not really supposed to be like that

00:17:48.920 so you want to take that out of it yeah um okay so you tell them basically your system is within

00:17:59.260 15 dates generally they find their ideal partner yeah and that's the person they can be with for

00:18:06.400 the the rest of their life cool and so what happens after that like what's the timeline that you

00:18:12.100 generally suggest from dating to marriage to kids assuming someone wants that yeah so so you meet

00:18:21.180 someone online dating about a week later you go on the first date after talking them for a week

00:18:25.480 and then about a week later you go on a second date and you go on a date with that person about

00:18:28.880 once a week for the first month okay by the end of the first month you're gonna go exclusive with

00:18:33.600 each other so you're not seeing anybody else you deleted the dating apps you're just talking to

00:18:36.600 each other and then about another month goes by where you're still going on regular dates talking

00:18:41.500 every day. Then you go official. So you say, I love you to each other, become Facebook official,

00:18:47.000 advertise the fact that you're a couple, right? Then you keep seeing each other, keep dating,

00:18:51.560 having a great time, getting to know each other. Then around the six month mark, you're going to

00:18:55.360 move in together. Now, one thing I teach is that a woman moves into the man's house, a man doesn't

00:19:00.880 move into the woman's house, or you get a whole new house together. Okay? Okay. And then from there,

00:19:06.940 you enjoy living together, have a great time. And then around the one year mark,

00:19:10.280 18 month mark you get engaged okay and then from there about six to nine months later you get

00:19:16.700 married and then as soon as you're married have kids immediately do you think that's fast

00:19:24.620 because that's like the i think the average now is like three years of dating before you even get

00:19:30.480 married yeah it's a little bit too slow it's a little bit too slow that three years of dating

00:19:36.400 is okay if you're 18 for example but other than that why so slow like you don't you don't go too

00:19:45.460 fast but also some people go too slow some people wait nine months before saying i love you it's just

00:19:50.060 way too slow there's no it's a sign of how much you like the person is the speed if you have really

00:19:56.660 really high attraction with someone you're gonna see quite consistent pretty fast progression if

00:20:02.200 progression's really slow it's five years to engagement and all this sort of stuff

00:20:06.420 it's just too slow do you think sometimes though that's guys trying to like mitigate risk

00:20:12.940 like they don't want to take the risk of getting married um possibly you know yeah i suppose then

00:20:19.940 you have yourself the question do i want to be in a relationship with a guy who really lets fear

00:20:24.900 of running his decisions uh i've i've have a little different of an opinion on that but

00:20:34.260 i don't you know i'm not trying to like debate that topic but okay okay yeah because it's um

00:20:41.480 yeah go ahead a lot of a lot of men do marry the wrong person yeah they do but they're stupid

00:20:47.900 so i don't know i don't know jake i've seen some guys marry women that were like

00:20:53.660 good on paper and then like they just go crazy after they have the kids they do so that's why

00:21:00.360 as a man you have to be a good judge of character men and women you got to be a great judge of

00:21:03.600 character you got to know exactly what you're looking for exactly what you're not looking for

00:21:07.060 and then you know you have to know how to have the ability to have a good relationship

00:21:10.520 yeah a lot of people can achieve a 10 out of 10 but then they have no idea how to maintain it and

00:21:15.460 it falls apart really fast you have to know how to maintain a 10 out of 10 as well so what do you

00:21:21.420 think that people generally get wrong like when it comes to maintaining a relationship

00:21:26.440 they don't do the fundamentals and they just instead of maintaining fundamentals and having

00:21:34.040 a sense of I guess you'd call it discipline or doing the right things consistently they just go

00:21:41.100 I don't feel like it this week might maybe later like they don't they have no discipline on

00:21:48.420 maintaining the fundamentals that I talk about and then just falls apart. Could you give me like

00:21:54.640 specific examples of things that women do and men do like both that causes relationships to fall

00:22:00.800 apart? Yeah, for sure. So both parties often slip out of their masculine and feminine energy and

00:22:09.720 their partner doesn't help them get back into it. So if you're in a relationship, try to help your

00:22:13.520 partner with the masculine or feminine energy, both ways. Okay. To help them. Okay. You're a

00:22:17.460 team work together with it and then the fundamentals that I'm talking about Pearl they're things like

00:22:21.900 I want you on a date once a week I want the husband to take the wife on a date once a week

00:22:25.780 or once every second week but fairly regularly okay a proper date high value date like I talk

00:22:30.440 about be intimate three times a week on average okay two 20 second hugs every day all right uh

00:22:38.600 do a dual hobby and a dual goal together and no arguing at all ever all right now if you do those

00:22:46.320 fundamentals is going to be really good a lot of people get they get quite lazy and complacent

00:22:50.960 and go i don't feel like i'm on a date this week or i don't really feel like being intimate today

00:22:58.080 and they just keep they get kind of lazy and yeah it's just shit yeah the amount of sexless

00:23:05.880 marriages is actually crazy if you i'm sure you've seen that doing what you do like yeah yeah a lot

00:23:12.360 it's it's a big part of masculine and feminine energy as well okay the man slips out of his

00:23:17.800 masculine energy the woman goes more into a masculine energy so she's leading everything

00:23:21.400 she doesn't feel like sleeping with him they they argue a lot masculine energy plays a big role in

00:23:27.800 it so how can a couple get to arguing never i'm sure the guys are like i want that never never

00:23:36.360 arguing god it's a discipline thing mostly okay so if you want to have an argument again just take

00:23:44.040 a second and say to yourself that's it i'm never going to argue with another person ever again

00:23:49.680 ever set a boundary with yourself set your own personal boundary um i did that years and years

00:23:57.300 ago even before meeting my wife and you just you don't need to argue with anybody if someone

00:24:00.820 disagrees with you go that's okay it's okay you don't need to make them you don't need to change

00:24:06.740 their mind on something just don't argue you don't need to argue if you have two people in a

00:24:11.440 relationship and you both agree to that it's fantastic you're both on the same page there's

00:24:15.300 no need to argue now there is a difference between a disagreement and an argument okay

00:24:19.500 a disagreement is you just don't agree on one thing not a big deal an argument is a disagreement

00:24:25.740 that's full of disrespect and aggression it has no place in life as an adult okay could i get two

00:24:33.740 specific examples of like what would be a way that someone is disagreeing versus arguing maybe on the

00:24:39.920 same topic yeah yeah for sure so you might disagree on what to eat for dinner one person

00:24:46.080 wants steak one person wants chicken right and some people might let that escalate that small

00:24:52.280 disagreement it may escalate into an argument by you know one partner might say well you never

00:24:57.500 listen to what i want to do you always do what you want to do you never compromise on anything

00:25:01.300 we never get to eat what i want to eat and it creates an argument yeah yeah just it's usually

00:25:08.040 over something simple and small. Okay. Okay. Um, so they never, so what's the longest like

00:25:23.400 marriage you've had now, like from the people you've coached? Um, I think from people who

00:25:34.020 became me single the people have the long marriage so far is maybe three years okay yeah so that was

00:25:42.980 one of the first people I started coaching okay and I helped her find her 10 out of 10 and then

00:25:49.940 they do the timeline properly and then we married about three years now they have a baby yeah wow

00:25:56.540 that's pretty cool yeah so I get invited to a lot so how many you said you've coached thousands of

00:26:03.720 people at this point? Yep. And what would you say the biggest mistakes that women are making

00:26:10.620 when it comes to dating? Like, why do you think when like more women are single than ever?

00:26:17.280 They, it sounds bad, but they don't have the right mindset for modern dating. Okay. Okay. So they,

00:26:26.900 they're quite fast to give up i see that a lot so they'll go okay i really want to achieve a 10

00:26:33.840 out of 10 i'm going to jump on online dating they meet two or three weirdos and they go no

00:26:38.400 deleting it they give up really really fast okay yeah that's true um it's it's quite a battlefield

00:26:45.400 online dating you have extremely you'd have a really good sense of perseverance and really go

00:26:51.140 if i meet 100 weirdos it's fine it's not a big deal you gotta really get good at blocking

00:26:56.240 deleting block and deleting like really hard at it it's monotonous but try to sometimes can be fun

00:27:02.640 to think of it as a game um and then also just simple feminine communication stuff which basically

00:27:09.960 in a nutshell is just being nice and flirty and bubbly and enjoyable to talk to okay could i have

00:27:18.380 an example of maybe something that women do wrong versus what they should do yeah for sure so they

00:27:24.840 might be um well one thing actually i was coaching woman this morning she's given the wrong guys the

00:27:31.440 right chances so a guy's been really weak and flaky and oh really non-committal right yeah

00:27:38.880 oh but i really like him so i'm going to keep giving him a chance and keep and she's just

00:27:42.600 really trying hard it's like no if he's if he's doing all the wrong things and he's being just

00:27:49.240 really basically he's a real feminine guy just go no don't don't beg a guy to be with you so one

00:27:56.760 thing i teach the sunflower and the b the woman's the sunflower the man's the b some women act like

00:28:01.600 they're the b so they're really aggressively chasing these guys supposed to be the other

00:28:05.800 way around you got to attract them in not chase them out yeah and if you i don't know if you've

00:28:10.600 interviewed or like spoken to some of the guy i've interviewed guys that have like

00:28:14.360 they run through these dating apps and if you saw their phones it's like there is nothing you could

00:28:21.280 do like if if you got on a date with one of those guys and he's not calling you back just take the

00:28:26.360 owl i'm telling you because like a lot of a lot of those guys have like 20 women i mean you've

00:28:32.860 seen the numbers with dating apps where it's like a small percentage of men basically running through

00:28:37.140 them yep yeah yeah i understand you have to be a good judge of character so my advice to people

00:28:45.240 don't stress too much about what the statistics say yeah yeah there's a lot of statistics out

00:28:50.960 there which say basically you just you're not you're not going to achieve a 10 out of 10

00:28:54.200 and only the top 1 gets what they want i've helped lots of people who are definitely not

00:29:01.560 very good looking or have good bodies at all achieve a 10 out of 10 so there's people who

00:29:05.800 want love on all levels right just you got to be sort of realistic a little bit as well so

00:29:12.540 if you're you know if you're a 55 year old woman you're overweight and you're just average looking

00:29:19.620 don't go for a guy who's 32 and got a six-pack and all this sort of stuff it's just not going

00:29:24.940 to work yeah do you see that happening like 55 year old women going for 32 year olds

00:29:31.080 yeah it does it does happen yeah and i basically say look yes you do look for your age but it's

00:29:38.900 not gonna yeah he might take you on a date he might want to sleep with you sure but it's never

00:29:43.420 going to become a relationship don't waste your time it's got to be age appropriate with a guy

00:29:47.260 who's pretty similar to you okay you got to be realistic yeah that's actually why i liked your

00:29:53.760 stuff is i um a lot of female dating coaches i find the pander but you're actually pretty honest

00:29:59.760 um with women and i really like that about your stuff i appreciate that you got to be honest

00:30:06.180 they're going to find out eventually how tough it is so you gotta you gotta prepare them a little

00:30:10.140 bit yeah and i've seen i just sometimes like you you hear the super high standards but the one

00:30:18.100 thing i will say is a lot of women say like they have these crazy high standards but if you look

00:30:22.720 at who they sleep with or have dated in the past it's not actually what they say have you found

00:30:27.620 that too or no all the time yeah all the time yeah women come to me oh I'm really I'm a high

00:30:34.000 value person I've got high standards I'm like okay tell me about your ex

00:30:37.540 yeah it's like a broke loser living on his car yeah I'm like something a high value person

00:30:45.920 like oh yeah shit you're right no and it's it's funny um because when I first started doing the

00:30:54.820 content I just thought the standards were like insane and at first I thought it was just an

00:30:59.500 internet thing but I would like meet women that um that had the like that they would tell me these

00:31:05.860 crazy high standards but then I realized I'm like oh my gosh they don't mean it they just are saying

00:31:10.980 that because I would see like it was kind of an evolution where I would see who they'd actually

00:31:16.860 date and it would not be near what they told me they would want it right yeah it's almost a bit

00:31:25.260 delusional really yeah um so i guess when you are coaching women are there like archetypes of women

00:31:34.880 that you see like the like typical clients that you have um like yeah for sure like the divorce

00:31:42.540 so yeah go ahead go on yeah most of the people most of the women i coach are divorced

00:31:47.240 um i coach a lot of widows coach women who divorced um i coach a lot of women who

00:31:55.480 do real estate they have a lot of trouble um yeah aren't they like the former bottle girls

00:32:02.100 i've seen like the bottle girl to real estate pipeline yeah yeah they're usually really pretty

00:32:08.200 right yeah they look great yeah with their feminine energy they're a bit bossy so i help

00:32:15.600 them with that um they sometimes can be a little bit delusional what they think they can get in

00:32:24.000 the dating scene um but then i slowly change that mindset and go hey everyone's looks gonna fade

00:32:31.600 anyway we're all gonna get more gray hairs as years go by we got more wrinkles you know we're

00:32:37.080 going to be less attractive as time goes by as well so you got to go for something deeper the

00:32:45.300 personality and all that sort of stuff so a guy who's nice a guy who's masculine that's what really

00:32:50.560 we're looking for so we change that mindset a little bit yeah the bottle um do you think it's

00:32:58.240 because they're around a lot of really wealthy successful guys all day the real estate girl

00:33:04.720 because it's like obviously if they're selling to their clients have to usually be pretty high

00:33:10.880 net worth they're around sales guys who are kind of notorious players yeah sometimes yeah um

00:33:18.700 it's interesting so i do meet a lot of arrogant people but then i i've seen that arrogance doesn't

00:33:26.080 really arrogance is totally different than confidence isn't it so people who are arrogant

00:33:30.020 it usually stems from insecurity so really deep down they're quite insecure about themselves and

00:33:35.700 feel pretty bad so they try to validate and try to build up this identity through arrogance

00:33:41.300 we flip all that around to come from a more angle of humility and real confidence yeah not from

00:33:50.160 just vanity and insecurity so it's not really real and it's doesn't matter how much botox you

00:33:56.320 take ladies eventually you're gonna look older yeah take botox botox is fine you can do it if

00:34:02.540 you want to but eventually you know we all age it's okay it's not a big deal yeah how do you

00:34:10.800 think um women's options change as they age um it's a good question short answer i don't really

00:34:24.440 care what someone's age is you can achieve a 10 out of 10 i coach a lot of women in their 60s

00:34:28.600 achieve a 10 out of 10 um they look like they're in their 60s the guys they achieve a 10 out of 10

00:34:35.400 with look like they're in their 60s and they are in their 60s that's okay yeah so there's not it

00:34:41.980 doesn't really change as long as you date age appropriate it's totally fine and they just do

00:34:47.160 the fundamentals and they can fall in love with that person achieve a 10 out of 10 they all still

00:34:51.700 achieve a 10 out of 10 so yeah if you're listening to this guys i don't really care what your age is

00:34:56.520 you can definitely achieve a 10 out of 10 what do you think about age gaps my rule is keep it within

00:35:04.660 15 years okay so statistically speaking relationships usually go better of the man's

00:35:11.740 about five years older okay but if you're over 50 that that changes a little bit okay so and it

00:35:20.220 changes as time goes on so if you're if you're if you're a girl in her 20s obviously date a guy

00:35:25.740 five years older at least at least right because the maturity levels women mature faster emotionally

00:35:30.540 um i have helped a lot of women who are in their very late 30s find a husband who's in his early

00:35:36.420 30s and they have babies together and it's fantastic it's fine that's good okay um if you're

00:35:42.240 over 50 then you can date older or younger it doesn't really matter as much okay but again

00:35:50.520 you still want to keep within 15 years and but it's also age appropriate so there's a big difference

00:35:57.720 between a woman who's 30 dating a 45 year old than a 45 year old woman dating a 30 year old man

00:36:03.380 yeah you think it's worse when the woman's older or it doesn't it just doesn't work so if you're

00:36:11.400 a 45 year old woman and you want to date a 30 year old man there is zero chance it's going to

00:36:16.160 become a 10 out of 10 you're dreaming yeah because he's gonna want kids and you can't really i know

00:36:22.200 some women do but it's at 45 maybe you could pop out one 30 year old guy he's gonna want kids i

00:36:29.160 think or do you not think you agree disagree well yeah usually usually men of that age group do want

00:36:35.180 kids but also not only the that's probably not the main reason it wouldn't work i i teach the

00:36:42.840 woman should be the prettier one okay in the relationship okay okay yeah good so not not by

00:36:53.880 heaps but i want the girl to be a little bit prettier than the boy is okay some relationships

00:36:59.140 the girl wants the guy to be a real pretty boy it's doesn't really work that well i want you him

00:37:06.820 to look at you and go she is so gorgeous right if you're 20 years older you got a lot of competition

00:37:12.780 with girls 20 years younger than you it's just it doesn't really work like that human beings aren't

00:37:18.420 wired like that very well yeah i mean you can date the pretty boy but then you're gonna have

00:37:22.520 pretty boy problems you know you can just don't come crying to me when you get what comes with

00:37:29.960 that that's right it's it's much easier if you date a guy who's i don't know a seven out of ten

00:37:36.900 yeah but he's a ten out of ten personality it's way better than dating a ten out of ten looks

00:37:42.540 and a seven out of ten personality yeah no way better because i've interviewed i've had a lot

00:37:47.300 of puas and stuff on the show and and some i would say like objectively could be male models

00:37:53.620 those guys are getting approached in public i'm like women you don't want

00:37:57.840 you do not want to date a guy that is getting approached in public you don't want those kind

00:38:02.900 of problems i'm telling you no no not really the masculine energy the the real substance of a man

00:38:12.980 comes from that deep masculine energy the leadership the ambition the assassin's the

00:38:16.980 protection yeah yeah you know those those traits are extremely important yeah um i saw a i was a

00:38:27.500 little confused on your stance on something um because i saw two tiktoks and i thought they

00:38:32.540 kind of contradicted each other um there was one tiktok you had that was like you were saying

00:38:40.240 that body count doesn't matter and then you had another tiktok where a guy found out his girl's

00:38:46.140 body count and then you said to break up with her um and i i thought it was kind of funny

00:38:51.600 okay yeah it was it was it was a funny video so i was telling him to break up with her because

00:38:57.580 his retroactive jealousy was too strong yeah and there's no way he's going to get over that

00:39:03.080 okay created like a mental tattoo in his mind right um now what i teach is keep your body

00:39:09.660 account to yourself. Don't talk about it. No one wants to know about it. It's gross. Keep it

00:39:14.840 yourself. It's like what you do in the bathroom. Keep it yourself. Honesty is not always the best

00:39:19.280 policy. It is 99% of the time, but in this case, what are you doing in the bathroom for? Who you

00:39:24.920 slept with over the last 20 years? I don't want to know about it. Nobody wants to know about it.

00:39:29.920 If you start dating a guy and he says, how many guys have you been with? Just say, I'm actually

00:39:33.620 a virgin. And it's funnier if you have kids too, because it's obviously not true, but it makes it

00:39:37.920 funnier. So say something like that. Just don't say a number. No one wants to know about it. It

00:39:42.060 doesn't matter if it's five or 500. It doesn't matter. Don't tell anybody. It's just unattractive.

00:39:49.020 Do you think it affects women's ability to bond at all though? Or you, your experiences?

00:39:54.420 Yeah. A lot of people say that. So, um, short answer, no, not really. If they have a great

00:39:59.880 mindset, the problem is I see a lot of women who have bad mindsets and then they, they've created

00:40:06.040 this statistic which says oh well they've been with a lot of people and they can't have a 10

00:40:09.500 out of 10 it's not how many people they've been with it's they have this terrible mindset which

00:40:13.620 goes along with this whole narrative so then they can't have a 10 out of 10 because their mindset's

00:40:18.580 really bad but it's not related to the sex yeah i would just think like the habit though like if

00:40:24.420 you're in a habit of sleeping with like five different people a month or three different

00:40:28.660 people a month you don't think over time they might miss that life you know it might be more

00:40:33.260 difficult for them to stay with one person not from not from what i've seen okay because usually

00:40:39.840 that happens usually that habit's built on um loneliness they want some sort of human connection

00:40:47.640 usually so they might be looking for love and they're seeking validation through intimacy and

00:40:55.000 they're quite lonely people right but as soon as they achieve a 10 out of 10 they're not lonely

00:41:00.300 anymore so they it sort of cures that yeah the one issue you do have with those studies is they're

00:41:06.140 self-reported and like when are women ever honest i thought i actually thought about it because um

00:41:12.300 i used to quote that study a lot and what i realized is that um the one thing the study

00:41:18.780 probably actually showed is that the women that lied about their body count are in happier

00:41:23.220 relationships because who's going to answer honestly on a survey that question

00:41:28.140 one of my favorite things from the symptoms was i think it was four out of five statistics are

00:41:37.800 made up anyway so yeah that's true um okay the body the other clip i saw of yours that i really

00:41:46.160 liked was um you told a woman that she shouldn't be at the it was like you and um your wife and

00:41:53.520 you were like you can go to the club if you want to when you're in a relationship but that doesn't

00:41:59.060 mean he has to accept it and i just thought it was funny do you know what i'm talking about

00:42:04.340 yeah yeah a lot of people think some of my rules are quite controlling like one of my rules don't

00:42:10.080 go out at night without your partner people are like that's crazy it's so controlling blah blah

00:42:14.040 blah blah go out with them go out as a couple like why why do you want to go out by yourself

00:42:19.920 anyway i don't get that and people another thing people do is they go on these separate holidays

00:42:24.220 go on holidays without one another what no that's not what 10 out of 10s do go together you're a

00:42:31.200 couple you should want to spend as much time as you can with that person you love right so no don't

00:42:36.020 go out at night without your partner um you can there's going to be consequences obviously and a

00:42:41.160 high value person's going to put up with that sort of shit for a long period of time yeah you know

00:42:45.720 what's funny i had a friend who worked in like a visa and like women with like husbands would go

00:42:51.500 there all the time and cheat on their husbands um it's not yeah i don't know why they're it's like

00:42:58.640 really obvious sometimes like what the girl's doing when she's like going to some of these

00:43:02.900 like party cities without the guy and i'm sure guys do it too um but yeah i don't know what

00:43:08.780 they're doing what do you think about like um business trips do you think that's different

00:43:13.260 or do you have rules around that yeah so if your boss says oh you're to go to this place and do this

00:43:21.420 sort of business meeting or whatever it's kind of out of your control but at the same time

00:43:26.900 there are a lot of jobs which make achieving a 10 out of 10 really difficult um a police officer

00:43:34.720 military prison officer those sort of jobs make achieving a 10 out of 10 really really really

00:43:41.240 challenging um and then just other jobs where you're just not home that much you're away 50

00:43:45.720 percent of the time that's going to make achieving a 10 out of 10 a lot harder as well

00:43:48.760 i recommend if you really care about having a 10 out of 10 don't do a job which makes it harder

00:43:55.480 do a job which makes it easier okay military police um you said corrections officer

00:44:01.880 yep what what else um and any job which you work away like some people work on mining jobs or oil

00:44:10.720 rigs and stuff like this where they you know they're away for a couple of weeks and they're

00:44:14.280 back for a couple of weeks and they do that all the time have you heard of like the trend with

00:44:20.200 nurses all the guys tell me nurses are the worst to date have you seen that oh really

00:44:26.740 okay so that hasn't been what you've seen god so i a lot of nurses who come to me who are pretty

00:44:34.420 hopeless at dating and they're in their masculine energy they're full of a lot of fear they pick the

00:44:39.400 wrong guys. They pick guys they want to help. You know, it's interesting, actually, one group

00:44:45.400 of people who I've coached who are really bad at relationships, Sykes. Sorry, that's so true.

00:44:57.100 They really suck. They're the hardest to get into a 10 out of 10. The ones I've coached do achieve

00:45:04.040 a 10 out of 10, but they take double the amount of time as anyone else. And I have to lecture

00:45:08.480 them constantly how to do it properly and repetitively all the time that painful yeah

00:45:14.740 because you don't like the attachment styles right that's they're always it's because 90

00:45:20.620 percent of people use it as an excuse oh i'm gonna avoid it and i'm not gonna have a hard

00:45:24.440 conversation you're like hey shut up and be an adult and have a conversation what are you talking

00:45:29.280 about a lot of people have all these excuses these days for their poor behavior i can't stand

00:45:34.260 it it's so funny you said the psychology thing because every every girl i knew that was a psych

00:45:40.920 major i can think of one who was not batshit crazy but like nine out of ten were nuts

00:45:48.400 they are they have relationships i can't believe that those people help other people

00:45:54.920 relationships i can't believe they are the worst um so what is your opinion on breaks and

00:46:02.520 relationships no way breaks only for kit kats okay

00:46:07.500 so i got a lot of i got a lot of these funny sayings but also breaks only for kit kats space

00:46:14.680 is only for astronauts um i got some others i can't remember okay but all that is just all

00:46:22.480 bullshit yeah it's just an excuse to cheat that's what i think you agree it's an excuse

00:46:31.020 you know or it's like a trial separation or there's all this bullshit people say oh

00:46:37.520 it's not you it's me i want to find myself and

00:46:40.740 it's all garbage stuff don't put up with any of that yeah have you seen the phenomenon

00:46:48.300 of women not being able to get over a particular ex oh yeah for sure all the time yep and how do

00:46:57.520 you help women get over that like do you find that they eventually do let it go they do with

00:47:04.000 my help 100 so it becomes a bit of an addiction in their mind so they'll be looking at his photos

00:47:11.600 every day and all this sort of stuff it's like if you're trying to quit smoking you walk around

00:47:15.780 with a packet of smokes in your pocket it's gonna be pretty hard right so what we do is we do a full

00:47:21.260 clean out delete every photo block and delete every account delete every number so it's like

00:47:26.360 never existed right and then what we do is i make their life a lot busier okay social hobbies

00:47:34.840 exercise two ice baths a week going on new dates with new people just really busy lots and lots of

00:47:43.400 stuff right and then usually after about a month or two of doing that they've totally forgotten

00:47:47.960 about the ex and are you seeing the because what i found is a lot of women keep going back

00:47:56.280 to the same acts like in between relationships is that something you've seen yeah it's like

00:48:02.060 their plan b yeah yeah so one of the things i teach is no plan b's you got to delete every plan b

00:48:08.380 okay and completely delete and block gotta burn the bridge okay no plan b's yeah i liked another

00:48:17.560 tick tock of yours you said that you said women don't like getting ghosted because they say why

00:48:27.160 why don't men um just tell me they don't like me and then you said but he is telling you he doesn't

00:48:33.540 like you that's right that's right go ahead give me your thoughts on ghosting oh yeah yeah that's

00:48:45.140 one problem actually a lot of women have in dating they hate being rejected they hate it

00:48:51.060 it's like they've never been rejected once and they get rejected one time they're like

00:48:55.340 that's it i'm done i quit it's like if you go into dating you're gonna get rejected heaps but

00:49:01.560 that's okay it's not about you don't worry about it too much it's just not everyone's gonna like

00:49:06.260 you and you're looking for one very particular person so of course you're gonna get rejected

00:49:10.140 you're gonna reject heaps of people too that's okay it's totally fine so if a woman's starting

00:49:14.700 dating again what's like the ghost rate you would tell her to expect like if you go if you like five

00:49:20.800 guys if you go on a date with five or ten guys how many are going to call you back so if you're

00:49:27.880 really good at dating and you show up on a date with lots of feminine energy you do lots of feminine

00:49:32.820 communication you're really light and bubbly and have really heaps of fun um and you go on five

00:49:37.560 dates you might get ghosted by one out of the five it's not that high it's only high if you're if you

00:49:46.520 suck okay you're not doing any of the feminine energy stuff properly you're being bossy and you

00:49:52.680 just bitchy you're not very fun to be around then you get ghosted heaps 100 if you're really fun and

00:49:58.600 feminine you know you don't it's pretty rare to get ghosted to be honest do you have any funny

00:50:03.400 stories about like things that a client of yours has done on a date that were just like you couldn't

00:50:08.740 believe they did them or maybe happened to them oh that's a good question funny stories of dates

00:50:19.060 you have to have so many because you've been doing this so long yeah yeah yeah there are some fun

00:50:26.140 ones actually one girl went on a date with a guy he took her to a restaurant and then he said oh

00:50:32.800 what do you want to order she told the waiter and then the waiter looked at the guy and he says oh

00:50:37.700 i just ate i'm not going to eat anything and the guy just sat there watching her eat the whole time

00:50:42.500 on the date oh ridiculous so he went on a date already having eight why would you why would you

00:50:51.220 just do drinks then he's just a it's just a wanker guy there's a lot of guys who don't know how to

00:50:57.500 date properly and they're just hopeless okay makes for a pretty bad date 100 okay that's not

00:51:06.600 too bad though i was expecting worse no yeah no i don't really have any super crazy stories

00:51:15.220 um or maybe i'm just i've heard so many that i'm sort of numb to the craziness of it yeah

00:51:23.580 yeah nothing really normal dates really aren't that really aren't that crazy yeah yeah it's

00:51:30.600 usually just like the people don't have chemistry yeah yeah pretty pretty normal sort of stuff a lot

00:51:37.480 of guys a lot of guys lack a lot of confidence so they won't make a move girls complain to me

00:51:42.620 every day that the guys don't make a move he didn't try to kiss me he's not making a move

00:51:47.740 trying to sleep with me he's really reserved so many guys are very shy they're not willing to

00:51:53.320 make a move if you're a man listen to this make a move make a move if she says no she says no but

00:51:59.100 at least make a move at least give it a shot yeah at least then you have your answer oh yeah don't

00:52:04.280 don't hold back on the first date try to sleep with her 100 if she says no go okay that's cool

00:52:09.820 like at least try yeah um every day girls complain to me god he didn't make a move they want you to

00:52:15.880 make moves they want you to make a move just read her body language yeah if she's smiling at you and

00:52:22.180 you know flooding her eyelids make a move she obviously likes you yeah so what are the biggest

00:52:28.100 complaints that women have after dates so that he doesn't make a move what else are they saying

00:52:32.620 yeah he doesn't make a move or um the conversation wasn't amazing so it was a little bit dry

00:52:40.400 not very charismatic um what else that's usually it after the first date and then between the dates

00:52:48.820 a lot of guys are not very good communicators so going on dates is really important but what

00:52:53.320 happens between the dates is really important too so between the dates you want to have really good

00:52:57.420 communication as well do you ever tell your clients to slow down like things are happening

00:53:03.280 too fast definitely so I have one technique that I call time over time which means the first month

00:53:11.060 of dating you only can see them once a week okay and that's to not get like overwhelmed

00:53:19.140 correct yeah so the affection how you feel about a person and what you know about them i want them

00:53:25.360 to go up at the same rate if you see someone once a month what you know about them and how you feel

00:53:30.640 about them will be like this right so you know a lot but you won't feel a lot if you see them every

00:53:35.560 day you'll feel a lot but you won't know a lot i want to go up at the same rate so time over time

00:53:40.120 once a week just for the first month in the second month you can increase how do you feel about um

00:53:45.860 distance relationships that's something i've seen an increase in yeah i get that question every day

00:53:52.180 long distance the first thing to think about is what long distance is a lot of people get confused

00:53:56.840 by that they go he lives an hour away it's long distance it's not long distance long distance is

00:54:01.340 when they live so far away that you can't see them once a week okay so for example you might

00:54:06.920 date a guy who owns a plane, right? He can travel quite a long distance every week to see you. So

00:54:13.160 you could live in a different country and it's not long distance. Or you might date a guy who

00:54:18.000 doesn't have a car and has to walk everywhere. Long distance is a few blocks away. Okay. So it's

00:54:24.080 based on how often the guy can see you. If he can see you once a week, it's not long distance.

00:54:28.120 So when I met my wife, she lived about four hours away. Not long distance, happy to drive it. If it

00:54:33.400 was six hours it'd be probably too far for me so four or five hours is about my limit for driving

00:54:38.980 on a friday night so you gotta think okay what's how far am i willing to go how'd you guys do your

00:54:44.860 first date did you drive all the way out yeah so actually on my on our first date she drove from

00:54:53.320 her town to my town and then when she got to my place then i took her on a great date where i live

00:54:58.440 okay um that was first date and it went fantastic yeah so that's pretty risky that's a long

00:55:05.820 it's a long ways to drive for a first date so it's good it's good it worked out yeah but yeah

00:55:12.240 so we knew it was special right from the start the conversation the compatibility everything

00:55:17.780 in the conversation was so amazing so we talked for about two weeks before our first date lots

00:55:22.980 of conversations every day facetimes phone calls like the chemistry compatibility everything

00:55:27.800 incredible so by the time the date happened perfect so what is your thoughts on distance

00:55:34.220 relationships though like people in a difference where they can't see they can see each other once

00:55:38.640 a month or every other week so every other week every second week is the minimum if it's less

00:55:48.200 than that you're not going to be able to see each other enough to build a foundation of a 10 out of

00:55:51.620 10 and you're not going to see the profession enough to create the 10 out of 10 that i want to

00:55:55.400 see so you must be able to see each other at least every second week minimum okay and have you seen

00:56:02.220 that work or the every second week yeah like i'm just wondering the success rate have you seen

00:56:10.340 distance relationships work or do they generally just tank if it's less than once every second

00:56:16.540 week it doesn't work okay it's too it's too yeah it fades too fast um human beings need that face

00:56:24.140 to face the physical touch they need it i think there has to be an end date like it has to be

00:56:29.600 like one person's gonna move like there has to be yeah like we do this for this long there's an end

00:56:35.540 date yep definitely which is six months yeah okay yeah i would agree with that because past then it's

00:56:42.780 you're kind of wasting your time 100 some people waste years and it's just wasting years achieving

00:56:49.460 nothing yeah um you said you're a big believer that women can get whatever they want in

00:56:55.260 relationships what did you mean by that um i think you're referring to feminine energy so

00:57:02.320 if a woman's really using feminine energy really well she can basically get whatever she wants

00:57:07.020 those guys want to bend over backwards to make her happy because they like her so much

00:57:11.840 because of the feminine energy so it's obviously still in terms of reality

00:57:17.120 yeah so if a woman um is in her masculine or is very masculinized how what practical like

00:57:26.740 pragmatic day-to-day tips would you give her in order to fix that so usually what i see when a

00:57:32.880 woman's really in a masculine energy she's hyper independent she doesn't want to help from anybody

00:57:37.160 she thinks she can do everything herself and she has she has trouble trusting as well okay so what

00:57:43.600 i teach is okay start accepting help from people start asking for help even if it's something small

00:57:47.800 opening a jar or whatever right something small and then thanking them for it and allowing people

00:57:53.680 to help you and start letting that happen okay mix that with some good self-care and feeling good

00:57:59.320 about yourself maybe some affirmations and stuff like that that's that's it and then after a few

00:58:04.000 months really practice that feminine energy affirmations huh what kind of affirmations are

00:58:11.400 you telling them to deal so you got to say the right words to yourself so most people say fairly

00:58:18.100 negative affirmations subconsciously to themselves wake up every day i'm a loser i hate all men

00:58:23.940 whatever it is right they're saying this negative sentence obviously it's going to have some

00:58:29.020 negative consequence right you have to change that identity the way you think about the world

00:58:33.260 why you're going to say the right words yeah um and some of those words are i love how feminine i

00:58:39.880 for example right or um i believe human beings are good human beings in general are very good

00:58:48.180 right so you're going to slowly change that sort of narrative you're telling to yourself

00:58:53.140 okay how long do you think is too long to wait for a ring

00:59:00.860 so i teach 12 to 18 months if it's been if you get to the three-year mark and there's no ring

00:59:08.980 you're you're in that place where it's probably not going to happen yeah do you think that depends

00:59:14.680 on the age i do have two brothers that did wait a very long time but it's because they started

00:59:20.720 dating at like 21 and they didn't really want to have kids till their 30s um no not really if

00:59:29.280 you're an adult it shouldn't matter too much about age now there are a lot of cases where people get

00:59:33.800 engaged 10 years later and it works out fine that is that is that's that does happen but just on

00:59:39.420 average usually you got to keep within those within those couple of years um but it can still

00:59:46.800 become a 10 out of 10 and you can still have a great marriage if you wait a long time it's just

00:59:51.120 less likely yeah and i'd imagine with like your clients it's not

00:59:55.740 you can't really coach people to wait 10 years right that's that's a long time it

01:00:03.720 does work for some people but you can't really that's yeah that's a pretty big risk right

01:00:10.520 i'm very results focused too i want to see pretty decent results fairly quickly

01:00:16.280 you don't wait too long for results yeah

01:00:24.600 oh sorry the chats i'm gonna see if they have any questions for you so give me one second

01:00:30.120 I can pull up the super chats if there are any.

01:00:33.820 Let's see.

01:00:35.680 This wasn't really looking.

01:00:37.520 Do you have any questions for me?

01:00:38.940 I don't know how much you've seen of my stuff.

01:00:40.440 I know you're on TikTok.

01:00:43.680 I've seen heaps of your videos.

01:00:45.500 Oh, really?

01:00:45.840 Heaps of different interviews.

01:00:47.180 You've done heaps of interviews.

01:00:48.520 Okay, I wasn't sure.

01:00:50.820 You've interviewed some huge people all around the world.

01:00:55.880 Well, now I've interviewed you too.

01:00:57.840 so you're right on the list why do i love it i love it yeah um i think i was watching one of

01:01:07.180 your interviews today where you're interviewing grand cardone oh sorry sorry um i was sorry go

01:01:12.600 ahead i was watching one of the interviews where you're interviewing grand cardone this morning

01:01:17.300 actually okay um and heaps of other people yeah some of your interviews are absolutely fantastic

01:01:24.400 yeah grant's really nice he's a really nice guy yeah why is this not going

01:01:32.260 did you want to talk about your relationship life pearl i don't really know anything about

01:01:39.740 your personal life yeah i have a boyfriend um i don't really talk too much about it publicly

01:01:45.420 because you know kind of how it is yeah it's personal yeah yeah but he's good um i really

01:01:52.180 i really when i switched from dating dating guys that were a little bit older than me i just

01:01:58.460 preferred that personally like from like like within like before i dated guys like within five

01:02:05.120 years and then when i switched to like 10 years older it's just a lot better i think i'm i think

01:02:11.740 i'm eight years older than my wife yeah i think i think personally 10 years is the best like gap

01:02:17.540 when you're in your 20s as a woman that's what i tell my yeah go ahead yeah in your 20s definitely

01:02:24.240 if you're in your 40s maybe not but 20s yeah really what do you think as a woman women in

01:02:29.400 their 40s you would recommend they date so i so men age faster than women okay right so if you're

01:02:40.940 a four-year-old woman dating a 50-year-old man he might look 60 right for example because men

01:02:46.700 don't often look after themselves as much right so as you get older try to get a guy close to

01:02:52.500 your age so as you go older his age will come down if that makes sense really that's interesting

01:02:58.120 because i would say the opposite like i think men's like skin elasticity is a lot better like

01:03:03.860 i think women get like wrinkles fast i mean i know we get botox now but you can't like

01:03:08.040 switch the hands you know that's true that is true yeah the my wife is divorcing me because I want to

01:03:17.320 buy a new oven for my ex who has two oldest kids she can't stand it and is solidly against it I

01:03:22.980 keep telling her my kids are my priority okay I'm gonna read this again but slower so this guy's

01:03:28.080 asking my kid my wife is divorcing me because I want to buy a new oven for my ex who has my two

01:03:33.720 oldest kids so his ex-wife that has two kids she can't stand it and is solidly against it the new

01:03:39.620 wife but i keep telling her my kids are my priority what's your advice is this from doug pearl no it's

01:03:48.480 runic crusader okay so um yeah so this is probably the straw that broke the camel's back

01:03:58.120 okay so if the relationship was a 10 out of 10 and then you did something stupid like this

01:04:03.060 it wouldn't really cause a divorce but if a divorce is happening because that's probably

01:04:09.760 a whole long line of stupid things so human beings are very territorial basically all right

01:04:19.180 you can't really do anything nice for your ex unless your current girl is going to get

01:04:23.560 angry about it it's just how human beings work okay and secondly don't say your kids are priority

01:04:32.060 That's stupid, okay?

01:04:33.740 I have kids.

01:04:34.840 I'm a great dad.

01:04:35.820 Don't say I put my kids first.

01:04:37.820 It's an ugly, ugly, ugly sentence, okay?

01:04:41.240 When you're in a relationship, the person you're in a relationship with wants to know

01:04:44.720 that you put them first, okay?

01:04:46.780 Doesn't mean to neglect your children, but don't say, oh, yeah, my kid's a priority.

01:04:50.740 That's a very ugly, shitty sentence to say, all right?

01:04:55.280 So in this case, whoever this guy is, heaps of mistakes.

01:04:59.700 heaps of mistakes my question to him is have you ever met a woman before

01:05:04.360 or is this the first time you met a woman or what's wrong with you come on so many mistakes

01:05:08.880 stop doing that you think the oven was a big a big deal for the if his other kids get to use it

01:05:18.420 i'm just curious i'm just wondering because i'm like it because i think if it's the ex-wife it's

01:05:25.900 like he's like paying for stuff for his kids you know yeah like no oh yeah so it's not how she

01:05:35.820 would see it she would say well why are you doing stuff for his ex he he's saying well it's for the

01:05:41.460 kids but she doesn't see it like that yeah and right okay so so i have a couple of questions

01:05:51.280 if you don't mind oh sure do you mind doug mpa is one of my um he's my co-host yeah i was gonna

01:05:59.200 stay out of this one but i had i had to come on and speak up a little bit so uh i have a couple of

01:06:07.460 uh dating theories i want to run by you so one i think that a man gets to know a woman in two ways

01:06:15.800 one to have sex with her and then one to for a relationship and a man cannot audit a woman

01:06:22.520 for relationship qualities until sex happens do you agree yes okay because i used to tell

01:06:32.180 you know i have a sister who's single and her friends and i'm like you can't but you think a

01:06:39.420 guy is going to want to get to know you for a relationship if you haven't slept with them first

01:06:43.620 so it doesn't know that's what do you believe also if a man's gonna sleep with you and leave

01:06:50.300 he's gonna do it no matter what so it doesn't matter if he waits six hours six days or six

01:06:55.620 weeks right you're correct yeah there you go right and so um over here we say no single mothers

01:07:05.600 don't sleep with them don't date them don't marry them if you're a man and i'm equal opportunity

01:07:12.620 if you're a man with no children don't date a woman with children and if you're a woman with

01:07:18.020 children don't date a man with children do you agree or no not quite so it's not so black and

01:07:24.840 white so here's the statistics on it from my experience coaching lots of people so what i see

01:07:30.540 is if a if if you get a single dad he can date a woman with or without kids and it's okay and they

01:07:37.900 have the ability to create a 10 out of 10 but if you flip it and you take a single mom

01:07:42.840 she can't date a guy without kids and only can date a guy with kids for the opportunity to create

01:07:48.720 a 10 out of 10 okay it's based i told you doug mpa that he's gonna agree with a lot of our stuff

01:08:00.540 yeah we have some differences but i told you go ahead um uh another thing is um

01:08:08.380 the single mother thing and then um what one of the most i used to tell the guys i used to mentor

01:08:16.300 you need to set aside disposable time and resources to date would you would you say that to a man

01:08:22.360 right oh 100 yeah you gotta have the time you gotta have the money you gotta be able to pay

01:08:27.000 for dates yeah but then the equal part is a woman has to be available to for a man to date her

01:08:36.980 right yeah so because one of the things you know i live in a very career-minded city right now

01:08:45.420 and i'll be on a date with these women who are professionals they they go on their girls trips

01:08:53.660 they have their sororities all this crap in their lives and then they'll find a way

01:08:58.300 find some time to go on a date and they'll say well i'm really busy but i'll make time for the

01:09:04.620 right person and you said that putting your children first is like an unattractive thing

01:09:11.200 to say for me that's a that's just an unattractive thing to say to a man like you're supposed to

01:09:17.640 you're supposed to have time to be found as a woman right if you want a relationship

01:09:22.040 you should put the time aside to be found as a woman right yes a lot of women will choose career

01:09:30.580 Doug because it has a bit more certainty for them so they'll go well if I work really hard I know I

01:09:35.280 can achieve these things in my career but I don't know how to achieve a 10 out of 10 so I'm not

01:09:39.760 going to put too much effort into it so I'm going to pretend and go I'm too busy I'm not going to

01:09:44.860 really look for a relationship even though deep down they yearn for it because you can also see

01:09:50.080 that when a girl who's career driven she meets the right guy sometimes she gives up everything

01:09:56.860 quits the job changes everything move states do anything over here we say that modern women

01:10:03.580 reserve the right to change their minds about anything at any time you know which is why you

01:10:09.140 know i always tell pearl that we're in the great experiment where women want to get these degrees

01:10:14.140 just to get them or if they want to get these jobs so the average male ceo's career is seven

01:10:20.840 eight years almost 10 years the average female ceo is two to three years because they want to

01:10:28.460 get to the chop and try it and then they say oh this is too tough i want out and a lot of them

01:10:33.840 know that all of their accomplishments if it gets too hard they can just try to find a man and have

01:10:39.940 him take care of everything but well that's their idea in their head at least so it's a fun go ahead

01:10:47.060 i'm sorry it's a fun thought yeah and so okay um would you say that anything that you're good at

01:10:56.100 takes practice even relationships oh 100 yep so if there's a woman that has no really because

01:11:05.920 in the area i'm in i meet these career oriented women who give all their best years to some

01:11:14.080 high-priced institution where they get some degree that nobody cares about to get a job

01:11:19.040 where they're not going to make any money then they go out into the workforce and they work for

01:11:23.720 some job that i can care less about them so then they're in i've met women in their early to mid

01:11:29.440 thirties with no relationship experience, none. And they usually wake up around 33 to 35 and

01:11:37.420 they're like, oh, I want to be in a relationship. So what would you say to a man who's getting to

01:11:47.320 know a woman and she says, oh, you say, what's your longest relationship? And she says a year

01:11:52.760 or less how would you advise that guy to navigate the situation with that woman who's had no

01:11:59.460 relationship experience and believe me it's more common than you think believe me the first thing

01:12:05.460 i would say to that guy is why did you ask her about her past you don't ask people about their

01:12:10.200 past ever okay so the second thing is don't ask her about her past relationships okay what's she

01:12:18.860 like right now yeah can you take her on a date this week that's what i want to know but this

01:12:24.480 girl you can't ask her about her best relationships because she's never had any good no experience no

01:12:31.540 bad lessons so a woman that has no relationship experience in her 30s is a good thing

01:12:38.040 would you rather a woman in her 30s with not much relationship experience

01:12:43.160 or a woman in her 30s who's had 20 relationships

01:12:46.840 doug you'd say 20 right yeah i just think that yeah because i've you know i've been married and

01:12:56.480 divorced and guys in the chat if you've been married and divorced put in the chat how tough

01:13:02.940 it is when you get back out on the dating scene and you're talking to a girl who's never been in

01:13:08.340 a relationship or has barely been in relationships and wants to be married and you hear her talk

01:13:13.920 about marriage and how delusional she is with marriage it's like one of the worst things ever

01:13:18.720 you're just like you have no idea what you're talking about so i take a woman who is divorced

01:13:25.360 over a woman who's never had relationship experience okay because you know at least

01:13:32.000 she knows how to how to be in a household with a man share bills make compromises and stuff but

01:13:39.120 i think that woman who's never had a relationship by the time she's 30 is a red flag it is it is a

01:13:46.320 strange amount of time to be single yeah okay and then would you say so here in america

01:13:56.480 the student loan debt 70 of the student loan debt is owned by women and i would tell them

01:14:02.640 So I think that a woman's financial decisions is a reflection of her decision-making process or lack thereof.

01:14:12.320 Would you agree?

01:14:15.040 I suppose to a certain degree, but...

01:14:18.460 So should a guy disqualify a woman based upon her, like if she has $150,000 in student loan debt or like $50,000 in credit card debt?

01:14:28.320 or is she upside down on her mortgage is that something that a guy should take into consideration

01:14:34.880 when dating a woman or do you think that he could find the one and help her figure it all out

01:14:40.560 the latter yeah so wait we're all human beings right it's not everyone is a genius

01:14:49.360 with finances a lot of people make a lot of bad decisions not necessarily their fault

01:14:53.120 a lot of women make bad decisions with finances i'm sorry go ahead just remember doug they're

01:15:01.520 it's not they're bad people they were raised in education system by parents who didn't know that

01:15:06.400 well they're okay they're good people they just made a few bad decisions but it's out of ignorance

01:15:11.840 it's not they didn't know there was other options you know what i mean yeah everything you're saying

01:15:18.800 i agree with but we're in the age where people want to make their problems your problem because

01:15:26.800 one of the best sayings my dad used to say to me was everyone has problems with you're making your

01:15:32.320 problem my problem and that's the that's a problem and so you just have to i mean everyone's got

01:15:38.880 problems but you just have to be aware as to what that person's bringing into your life understand

01:15:43.680 understand and like that is i do teach trying to find someone who doesn't have many problems

01:15:49.400 but that's usually not in regards to debt it's usually in regards to some people you meet have

01:15:55.220 a whole long plethora of problems depression anxiety and this and that and this and that

01:16:00.480 they have like 20 problems right avoid those people they got too many problems okay but yes

01:16:05.560 i try to avoid people with problems um as much as you can but i also teach a woman's value isn't

01:16:14.880 derived from finances or net worth yeah but like i wouldn't really want to date a guy with a ton

01:16:24.580 of debt like because it shows really poor decision making you know like vice yeah like even my yeah

01:16:31.920 there's also a very large difference between a man and a woman though yeah but i i'm people can

01:16:40.160 date what they want so it's it's not for me to say but like even my boyfriend like he dumped

01:16:45.760 his last girlfriend because she had a bunch of debt and he didn't want to deal with it

01:16:50.240 no he dumped it because he didn't like her wait so you think a guy can just

01:16:56.160 like like a woman past all of her faults

01:16:59.600 yes to a certain degree okay so it's based on how much it's based on attraction

01:17:05.800 so if someone say oh you know i dumped that person because their mother-in-law was bad

01:17:09.940 no you didn't you dumped that person because you didn't like them that much you didn't like

01:17:14.540 the mother-in-law too but that's not really the real reason it's how much you like that person

01:17:18.100 if you really like someone and you have such good chemistry and compatibility and x-factor

01:17:22.820 they can do the job and they're just great and you just think i want to be with this person

01:17:26.280 you're going to be with them even if they got a little bit too much debt or they

01:17:32.500 are smelly armpits i don't know whatever you're going to like them regardless yeah regardless of

01:17:38.760 that fact guys remember this isn't a business decision this is this isn't like buying a

01:17:43.500 business you're not going on a pros and cons list and going well is this a good decision for me is

01:17:48.080 this is this good for my future it's based on emotion do you think it's if a man and woman are

01:17:56.420 getting into a serious situation they've been dating for about what's your timeline of when

01:18:03.000 it should be considered serious what like like three months six months or something like that

01:18:06.900 six months move in yeah go ahead okay yeah i thought i heard that yeah six months move in

01:18:12.260 but around the eight week mark you're gonna say i love you and become official so do you think that

01:18:16.660 both sides should, even if they don't share, I don't believe in the word partner. I think that's

01:18:22.320 one of the worst things to ever happen to the dating market. And the reason why is because

01:18:26.180 your partner's in business, right? And business partners have a contract that clearly define

01:18:34.560 the equity and the roles between partners, right? And so you never really hear men say the word

01:18:42.840 partner it's women they say the term partner we you're in australia so maybe everyone uses it down

01:18:48.920 there i think i have to in overseas they use it more go ahead sorry and like you know i have to

01:18:54.280 thank you for getting through another day in the feminist hole that is australia because let me

01:19:01.000 tell you you guys have it rough down there man you have it rough but anyway um uh i don't like

01:19:08.120 the word partner but well women don't like the word partner because husband wife fiance boyfriend

01:19:14.520 girlfriend have implied roles and i think that women don't really like any anything with defined

01:19:21.320 roles defined values anything like that anyway so let's say you're in boyfriend girlfriend mode right

01:19:29.560 even if you don't share with your significant other do you think that the man should ask

01:19:33.400 himself okay what am i gonna get out of this relationship with this person and the woman

01:19:38.280 should too like um no not really not that not that specific question

01:19:44.600 okay the question you ask yourself is do i want to be with this person the rest of my life

01:19:49.480 doug do you do you have any yeah so you're just quite sorry no i just

01:20:03.980 because like okay i'll flip it for you doug so i assume you probably have a best friend right

01:20:12.240 a guy you've known for ages you guys hang out have lots of laughs a best friend right yes when

01:20:17.940 you're best friends with this guy do you stop and go what am i going to get out of this relationship

01:20:22.060 yeah of course of course doug that doesn't sound like a good friendship to me why no no no because

01:20:30.080 here's the thing there are there are givers and there are takers in this world and givers learn

01:20:38.680 a hard lesson in in uh and setting boundaries and not letting people take giving people are

01:20:45.640 the most powerful people on the planet because we accumulate resources and skills and education

01:20:53.900 and all these things for the sake of others but there are people that will take advantage so you

01:20:58.700 have to ask yourself what am i getting out of this or you will be taken advantage of

01:21:04.560 that's the thing so like the what's your here's the thing i have a more i have a more sort of

01:21:11.640 stoic masculine approach to life to a certain degree how many people you think take advantage

01:21:17.320 of me you've been taking advantage of you you're a man there was some time in your life where you

01:21:25.820 got to take advantage of it if you say she never had the only people have taken advantage of me

01:21:32.400 are the ones i've allowed to to happen at no point ever will i claim to be a victim

01:21:37.640 or say that person took advantage of me i can't believe it i let it happen whether it was right

01:21:44.340 or wrong or it was good or bad it doesn't matter i think yeah i agree doug you're just saying that's

01:21:48.560 that's why you have to ask the question sometimes yeah that's why you have to ask the question and

01:21:53.200 do the audit because if you don't ask the question you you're not going to be able to take the next

01:21:57.580 step of what you're talking about the days of because i just don't think that that um anyone

01:22:05.800 you have to know okay if you're giving your time and your resources to society to a job to a woman

01:22:13.880 you have to know what you're getting out of it you cannot even expect a lot but you should be

01:22:18.960 getting something understand i'm saying what should you get from a wife do you think um respect

01:22:26.240 dignity a family um you know she should be your support system because when men win everyone wins

01:22:35.400 when women win they win for themselves 100 well yes a lot of listeners like that sentence doug

01:22:43.840 but you're technically correct respect's a very funny thing yeah it's it's a very interesting

01:22:48.920 thing what i'm saying in a 10 out of 10 relationship you don't ask yourself that

01:22:53.040 question because it's already there yeah it's like it's like if you sit down to a big table

01:22:58.460 of food and you go what am i going to eat it's already right in front of you you don't need to

01:23:02.920 ask the question it's the same in that relationship i don't need to ask what my wife brings to the

01:23:06.460 table because all that everything you just said is already there i don't ask myself the question

01:23:10.460 because i can see it do you believe if it stops being there like do you believe in divorce in some

01:23:16.400 cases so if something happened and those things stopped happening i would say to myself well

01:23:23.840 what's happening here what can i do to fix this situation remedy it talk about it something

01:23:28.160 something's going to happen, right? But I also teach people don't live in a hellish situation

01:23:35.000 for your whole life. So yes, I technically believe in divorce. It'd be a perfect world

01:23:40.320 if it didn't exist, but don't live in a shitty situation for 10 years just because

01:23:45.260 you want to keep your vows strong. If you're in hell, get out of it.

01:23:50.780 Yeah. I'm going to read a super chat really quick. It's not apples to apples, 20 relations at 30 can

01:23:56.340 be a red flag because she's obviously having issues locking a man down whereas your relationships

01:24:00.820 could be a red flag or not depending on her if she's a trad farm ex guys if a girl hasn't had

01:24:07.660 relationships by 30 um i don't know where you're meeting these like trad farm girls i don't really

01:24:14.440 see them existing too much but if you find one let me know um doug mpa you got any other questions

01:24:24.100 for them um and then i guess i can say um what if okay if you see behavior if you're getting to the

01:24:38.740 six month mark right and you start to see behaviors that you're kind of not liking

01:24:46.660 right because especially when you live with somebody you know it's not really the small

01:24:51.940 aspect of living with the large things it's a small things over time i understand i'm saying

01:24:57.700 do you how long should a man let's say the woman is doing something to like annoy him or

01:25:04.500 and something and he wants to correct her behavior like how long would you give the guy or the woman

01:25:10.420 too let's say the guy leaves his dirty drawers you know underwear in the kitchen sink or something

01:25:15.540 like that like how long should each person give the air let's say if they want to have the

01:25:20.820 the conversation say hey i want you to change this how long should they give the person to change

01:25:27.460 so great question doug very funny um i teach a bit of a hierarchy with communication so you got

01:25:34.820 small boundaries medium boundaries and hard boundaries okay so in that particular case

01:25:41.300 of the dirty undies you'd probably do a medium boundary and the medium boundary is about five

01:25:46.260 seconds just using words i don't like that i do that that's it and from that point moving forward

01:25:51.780 that shouldn't happen that's then that's it like it's that's not really a big thing if it's a more

01:25:58.260 complicated convoluted sort of issue you might need to have a hard conversation where you sit

01:26:02.500 down together but if you have two people who agree that you're never going to argue and who are great

01:26:08.020 communicators and you have a decent level of attraction in the relationship you can get over

01:26:12.420 basically any issue and if she or he doesn't change like if they keep doing it um do you

01:26:19.860 suggest they end the relationship or keep so we escalate down the hierarchy so we start with

01:26:26.260 small boundaries then medium boundaries hard conversations then hard boundaries if we do

01:26:31.460 the whole list and they're still being a goose then we get out of there okay okay and then i

01:26:39.700 guess my last question would be um you said you should move in within six months right and then

01:26:49.220 get married when usually so you get engaged around the 12 month to 18 month mark and then the perfect

01:26:57.620 what i see the perfect length of engagement is usually about six months nine months somewhere

01:27:01.860 around there okay um big wedding small wedding do you believe in that thing where because they

01:27:10.860 say that the smaller the wedding the more likely it is that your relationship is going to last

01:27:15.640 would you yeah i don't know i don't know where they're getting these statistics but it's very

01:27:19.080 funny i've seen another one which says the more expensive a ring is the more chance of failure or

01:27:25.400 i don't know where they're getting these statistics i don't know if they're true

01:27:27.520 um i had a medium-ish wedding if i could do it again i'd make it even bigger best day of my life

01:27:33.880 incredible so much fun amazing right um some people elope what i see eloping is

01:27:41.040 eloping has got that energy to me like you see a teenager i'm not gonna have a party no one likes

01:27:46.740 me anyway i'm just gonna sit in my room by myself it's got that energy it's really come on it's

01:27:52.600 really sad sort of energy i think have a massive wedding i think bigger the better i think act

01:27:58.040 like you it's one thing that you're gonna do once in your life give it a huge amount of energy um i

01:28:05.960 spent a fair bit on my wedding i would have doubled it i don't know what on but bigger the better i

01:28:12.280 think best day of my life okay and then um just for what advice what is the difference in advice

01:28:23.160 that you give for people that are looking for a relationship and have never been married

01:28:29.560 to the ones who are divorced and getting back into the dating market

01:28:34.520 basically exactly the same brother yeah it's not it's not too much difference actually so whether

01:28:38.920 i'm coaching someone who's never been married or who is divorced i coach a lot of people who've

01:28:42.640 been divorced still the same high value dates have fun don't settle for people who you know it's no

01:28:49.520 good and just get out there and be persevering and have a good time the more fun you have in

01:28:54.800 the dating the better chance of success you're going to have faster okay and then the last thing

01:29:01.240 i i say ghost all these women man you know uh i'm all about ghosting i think because one thing i

01:29:11.180 think that men we have to learn to get rejected early we have to face the fact that we're told

01:29:18.860 that we're not fast enough we're not tall enough and stuff but it isn't until they're a woman's in

01:29:24.040 her 20s or 30s that she starts getting rejected and this guys I just always say women they feel

01:29:32.400 entitled to your money your resources your time and closure don't give them any of it especially

01:29:40.640 closure like I don't see guys expecting closure in the dating market but why do women expect

01:29:46.960 closure why because they've probably never been rejected a lot um one thing i teach doug is

01:29:54.040 closure is something you give yourself so if someone goes to you then take a second and go

01:29:58.980 okay they're not my ideal partner i'm not theirs it's okay i'm gonna move on give yourself that

01:30:04.440 closure yeah but doug overall brother you seem pretty harsh on women oh oh we're harsh on women

01:30:12.480 here yeah yeah you know it's just you know when you have uh where's the where's the love where's

01:30:18.880 the love guys um here's the thing the rhetoric of women nowadays and how women act like here's

01:30:29.520 the thing and i honestly believe this the modern woman playbook is they want to find a successful

01:30:37.760 ambitious man they want to date him marry him then have him set his what made him the man

01:30:48.560 he is aside to help her achieve her selfish desires that's why so many of my friends who've

01:30:54.320 been married and divorced one of the most common traps that they get caught in is the man's money

01:30:59.680 is the house money and the wife's money is her money because she wants to maintain her

01:31:06.560 i want to be in a relationship i want to be married but i don't want to lose my independence

01:31:11.120 i meet women out here so about 50 of the women i meet i say hey um if you get married would you

01:31:17.920 change your last name and they say no i'm like what it's just the selfishness of women so i'd

01:31:25.040 say maybe because i actually believe that maybe 20 to 30 of men are are in a position to date

01:31:31.520 seriously to put themselves in a position to to have to have a family and stuff like that but

01:31:37.600 then i would say it's maybe less than that for women like the marriageable women that will

01:31:42.800 support a man and knows that if if she supports his dreams she wins and they're just so few and

01:31:49.200 far between so it's like i'm just responding to the reality around me you know and here's the thing

01:31:56.640 thing. Men, we've only had our voice for the past, well, since 2015, but we're responding

01:32:03.960 to 40 years of unfiltered misandry on the other side. Like, I'm just one of those people

01:32:11.480 where I think you might be the type that still hold men to a higher standard. I don't do

01:32:16.860 that anymore. Women want equality, let them have it. You know, women have been, I can

01:32:23.580 tell you everything that men don't like that women don't like about men because we've heard

01:32:28.120 it for the past 50 years now you're hearing men talk about what they don't like about women but

01:32:33.600 a lot of people that they can't handle it i'm not saying anything that modern women don't say about

01:32:38.720 men but men we are we have the right to say what's on our minds and our standards but we we try

01:32:48.040 taken the higher moral ground we tried doing the right thing but women called that patriarchy

01:32:53.800 and misandry see the dating market men were perfectly fine with walking up to um

01:33:02.280 the house and knocking on a woman's door and asking her father if he can take her out on a date

01:33:08.120 men were perfectly fine with waiting for sex until marriage but women changed all those standards

01:33:14.200 one of the best things i've ever heard is women changed all the social rules when it comes to

01:33:21.580 intersectional dynamics between men and women in the 20th century and the 21st century is men

01:33:26.140 responding to it so a lot of women and a lot of and some men don't like the way that men are

01:33:33.700 responding to it but too bad so i'm just a realist and if you think about it i'm not saying anything

01:33:41.120 I'm not saying anything that isn't equal on the other side.

01:33:44.440 I just think that dating, it's all fair in love and war, and women just want it to be fair, and it's not fair.

01:33:51.380 And one last thing I'll say is, things are never going to be fair for men, ever.

01:33:58.500 We don't expect it to be.

01:34:00.080 All this equality movement for women is doing, they're advocating for life to be as unfair for them as it is for men.

01:34:08.620 That's what equality is.

01:34:10.080 life sucks as a man

01:34:12.480 if you can make it not

01:34:14.680 suck, get yourself a highly valued

01:34:16.660 skill, highly valued trade, highly valued

01:34:18.560 education, your life will be better

01:34:20.660 women are putting themselves

01:34:22.700 in a position to have to do

01:34:24.600 the same thing so let them have it

01:34:26.520 Doug, I love your energy

01:34:30.500 brother, so much energy

01:34:31.720 I'm done

01:34:34.000 I actually wanted

01:34:36.840 to, unless you have a response to that

01:34:38.820 I have my, I have my last question.

01:34:43.260 Oh, Doug said a lot there.

01:34:48.260 One thing that I see, so I coach a lot of women who put career first and all this sort of stuff.

01:34:52.720 And they are sort of hyper independent.

01:34:55.140 The one thing I want you guys to remember, it stems from fear.

01:34:58.940 It doesn't stem that they're bad people.

01:35:01.240 Okay.

01:35:01.500 That's what I want you to remember.

01:35:02.320 It's stemming from fear.

01:35:03.960 They're scared to trust a man.

01:35:05.880 They've been taught by their mothers or whoever.

01:35:08.820 that, you know, you've got to do it yourself.

01:35:11.660 You've got to be self-reliant.

01:35:12.880 You've got to be independent.

01:35:14.000 They're taught this from a younger age.

01:35:15.760 They're not bad people stemming from fear.

01:35:18.920 Yeah?

01:35:19.880 Okay.

01:35:21.280 Cool.

01:35:22.240 So I do this thing on my show where I get guys to dump me.

01:35:28.080 So I want to role play where you have to say how you would dump me.

01:35:34.480 I know how Doug would do it.

01:35:35.700 He would ghost you.

01:35:37.060 Oh, yeah.

01:35:37.940 Yeah, boy.

01:35:38.820 i had we had a guy i don't mind yeah so you would just ghost well it depends so i think ghosting is

01:35:47.980 okay in the first maybe two dates after that it's a little nasty like say something um first date

01:35:55.940 it's okay but some people date someone for three months then ghost it's like oh it's a little bit

01:36:02.900 you got you got him on the line sorry you got him on the line who does it good

01:36:10.240 i love it no so just just you got to be honest okay yeah so let's say you can you do a breakup

01:36:20.540 scenario with pearl yeah so let's say you're dumping me because i just never give you your

01:36:26.620 space or your alone time and i'm always nagging you about your hobbies

01:36:30.260 okay well one of the things i teach guys is space is only for astronauts not for relationships

01:36:38.160 so i wouldn't usually complain about that um but what i would say for example if i did want to

01:36:44.660 break up with someone anyway just go look i just don't think we're getting along that well

01:36:47.540 we don't i don't think there's any longevity here i think let's cut it now so you can go

01:36:52.520 there and find your ideal partner and get out there and let's just go separate ways

01:36:56.180 no but is there is there something i can do to make it work no

01:37:01.120 it's my favorite part of the show nothing at all but what did i do why what did i do why

01:37:09.400 just two puzzle pieces which don't fit very well that's amazing

01:37:14.780 okay i'm gonna borrow that saying that's actually pretty good so that's that's one of the things i

01:37:21.740 teach with finding your ideal partner guys finding your ideal partner is a very particular person

01:37:25.820 Puzzle pieces which fit together

01:37:28.000 You're going to meet people who seem pretty good

01:37:30.500 But the puzzle pieces don't quite fit

01:37:32.460 They're not bad

01:37:33.660 They're just not quite your person

01:37:35.660 That's all

01:37:36.300 Where do you rate that breakup

01:37:39.500 From all the breakups we've had on our show

01:37:41.660 I mean

01:37:43.140 That was actually pretty good

01:37:44.900 Because he went straight to the point

01:37:47.000 The puzzle pieces thing

01:37:49.240 Was actually pretty good

01:37:50.480 I'm writing that down right now as we speak

01:37:52.740 now yeah now you don't have to ghost as much you can use that

01:37:58.340 so if i'm dating a woman doug mpa got put on are we dating the same guy

01:38:06.000 yeah yeah for ghosting a woman yeah anyone anyone who's listening to this don't be on those toxic

01:38:14.320 facebook groups so we're dating the same guy don't do it you know bad don't use them they're

01:38:19.420 really bad yeah doug mpa is on there i was but she said that she took it down he goes

01:38:28.360 and the date went really really well too the post even said yeah you know uh the date went really

01:38:40.080 well but he goes to be any t so you can have a good date with it was a really good date and i

01:38:45.260 still got put in one of those wait tell again based on fear yeah she had that fear in her heart

01:38:51.820 so then she's gonna start self-sabotaging wait tell him why you ghosted her and i want to see

01:38:57.380 what he thinks so first off i'm very punctual right pearl i'm always getting on pearl because

01:39:07.740 we do content strategy calls and all this stuff you know and she's late all the time okay you

01:39:13.920 don't call me at the same time every day what's that god no god god god oh anyway so um and uh

01:39:22.800 so she was late and then she grew up in some really super religious uh household that was

01:39:32.560 borderline a cult so she's telling me about this religious cult that she was in and i'm just like

01:39:38.480 okay and then she was bisexual

01:39:44.960 right huge red flag yeah so she's late she's bisexual and she grew up from like this religious

01:39:52.000 cult and i'm just like bro what no and so i just and then i had a lot going on and i just i don't

01:40:02.000 know i just i don't well women have told men for years we don't owe you our time our bodies any of

01:40:09.120 that and i agree but then also men we don't owe women anything either we don't own closure or

01:40:17.200 anything but a lot of women think that we you know you asked me on a date so you owe me closure you

01:40:22.400 have to tell me why no but if you don't you'll get put in one of those facebook groups but yeah but

01:40:28.160 But you thought the red, you agreed with his assessment of that it was a red flag.

01:40:33.760 Yeah, the bisexual thing is a pretty big red flag.

01:40:35.960 Yeah, I agree.

01:40:38.120 But how so why would you say that?

01:40:40.520 Because it is a red flag.

01:40:41.800 But what is your idea as to why it's a red flag?

01:40:45.520 I think it shows I think human beings are funny.

01:40:48.720 I think we want to think that our partner thinks we are the most

01:40:51.760 attracted person in the world and they're not attracted to anybody else.

01:40:55.440 We like to have that thought.

01:40:56.960 bisexual guy says the opposite yeah i agree yeah i told you you'd agree with a good amount of what

01:41:05.140 he says i know man i told you i told you he's not he's not like the doug mpa heard female dating

01:41:13.920 coach we're a little biased against him sometimes yeah they yeah i live in the real world guys i

01:41:19.880 want to see everyone achieve a 10 out of 10 yeah doug i do a lot of stuff you say but i want to

01:41:25.520 seeing a 10 out of 10 i want to see you in love yeah disney love uh so my first marriage i can

01:41:34.220 tell you the biggest problem with that was that i tried to love this person unconditionally right

01:41:40.200 and and there's no such thing i think maybe you can love a child unconditionally but someone that

01:41:45.380 isn't blood related to you you can't do that so how i approach it now is and we could thank the

01:41:52.140 late great saint kevin samuels for this respect comes first you earn and keep each other's

01:41:59.160 respect above all else because respect is harder to get back than love right you you probably

01:42:04.940 how do you how do you get respect done oh yeah it it comes over time through your action through

01:42:11.940 integrity your words have to equal your actions you you don't respect is earned so you have to

01:42:18.960 go through earning some respect it's a very interesting subject respect it's kind of confusing

01:42:24.780 um some people get respect very easily some people have to work really hard for respect

01:42:30.760 some people give respect and get nothing back some people give nothing and get a huge amount

01:42:35.200 of respect it's a very complicated issue i get a lot of respect but it's very confusing

01:42:39.660 it's it's a it's a it's quite it's quite complicated well i can say once again if you get

01:42:47.880 um if you get so much respect particularly your significant other you got to keep it at all costs

01:42:54.760 because odds are jake there are people in your life family members friends who you say that you

01:43:01.160 love but you can't have them in your life anymore why because they lost your respect right it's

01:43:06.440 easier to give love back than respect so i think that that's number one number two is utility you

01:43:13.800 should there should be a utility to you being good together there's no reason why you should be in

01:43:20.040 what you call a 10 out of 10 relationship and the man or the woman should be suffering from anything

01:43:24.920 that a single person suffers from i.e i have a friend right whose husband won't drop her off at

01:43:31.640 the airport before 9 a.m and won't pick her up after 9 p.m that's a very weird rule i'm like what

01:43:40.120 so what that's what a single a single person would have to find a ride to the

01:43:45.320 and when she goes out on work trips she has to leave the house at like five o'clock in the

01:43:48.920 morning so he doesn't get out of bed and his wife has to take an uber to the airport right

01:43:54.760 it's like what's going on here yeah he's a bit of a jerk yeah yeah and so i think that or a utility

01:44:02.040 would be building that life and having your hobbies to get all these different things work

01:44:06.440 Because respect and utility are those things where if you get in a fight and you kind of walk away from each other to different sides of the house, you can kind of look around and audit your life and be like, all right, I respect this person.

01:44:17.640 We have a good thing going here.

01:44:18.860 Let me go apologize.

01:44:20.260 And then love is after that.

01:44:21.820 Whereas my first time, I just tried to love the person through everything, and you never want to do that.

01:44:28.320 No, you're right.

01:44:29.480 Yeah, that's a good order.

01:44:31.640 That's pretty good, Doug.

01:44:32.700 Yeah.

01:44:33.660 So then what was this about Disney love again?

01:44:35.800 what was that i want you to achieve it even even though you got great rules i've got a lot of rules

01:44:42.200 too they're fantastic right but i want you to achieve it how many dates should how many dates

01:44:46.680 should doug be going on a week one one if you can if you can take one great girl out a week

01:44:53.000 fantastic doug how old are you brother um i'm mid 40s okay so probably yeah what age are you going

01:45:02.520 for um so like 28 to i'd say 28 to 35. okay it doesn't matter too much about the age if you

01:45:15.240 can go on one great date a week like a proper date have a great time you should be able to

01:45:20.360 achieve a 10 out of 10 this year find a girl who you want to spend the next 50 years with

01:45:24.280 yeah well that's just one just i want you to remember one thing once you remember one thing

01:45:29.720 going on dates with these girls you might find a fantastic girl just remember she probably hasn't

01:45:35.480 thought about this stuff as much as you have so go a little bit easier on her

01:45:42.760 you know what pearl even says that

01:45:48.120 she says that all the time so why do you go so hard i said daga pa

01:45:52.520 that girls will change their opinions when they like a guy

01:45:55.560 like girls will be have blue hair and be a feminist and then start dating a conservative

01:46:03.180 guy and then she doesn't think women should vote six months later you're sitting this

01:46:10.560 you gotta sit there and you just kind of listen to all this rhetoric and all this rigmarole and

01:46:16.620 I'm just like, this is what I have to do.

01:46:19.460 And I even know that she's just like putting on this on this bravado.

01:46:27.100 And but it's just sitting through it is the problem.

01:46:30.700 I wish I could hit the fast forward button.

01:46:34.020 I get you. I get you 100 percent.

01:46:37.060 We women are attracted to women in general, but only traumatized and damaged women pursue relations, pursue such relationships.

01:46:45.180 okay well thanks so much for coming on um let me know if you're ever in america we'll totally

01:46:50.740 bring you in studio if you're ever here yeah i'll come to america definitely 100 maybe next year

01:46:57.040 sure but i'd love it yeah you got yourself a new fan over here jake i wasn't i wasn't i believe

01:47:05.240 you before but i am now i have to check your stuff out i told you we're biased a little against

01:47:09.940 female dating coaches but i was like no he's pretty honest with the women yeah and i was

01:47:14.500 pessimistic wasn't i for i know who is this guy but you want me over man and so so if you want me

01:47:20.740 over odds are you you're going to win over a lot of the guys that are going to watch this after the

01:47:24.980 fact and a lot of guys in the chat i love that and doug i want to remember i'm not a female dating

01:47:29.940 coach by choice yeah it just happens to be that i coach 80 women it's not mine yeah it's just

01:47:40.100 just that turns out just what it is um interesting yeah it just sort of became that yeah yeah just

01:47:48.160 the um you know like the steve harvey's where they just say like women are awesome maybe yeah

01:47:54.720 but no i when i saw the one i liked the one of you where you were like

01:47:59.080 what was it i wrote in my notes i mentioned it earlier i think you were saying like

01:48:04.720 oh the club one that's what i was like oh i like him he's funny

01:48:08.400 going out at night without your partner yeah yeah okay well thanks for coming on um let me know if

01:48:13.480 you're ever in america do you want to shout out your stuff oh yeah guys if you if you like me

01:48:19.100 just search up jake maddock anywhere you'll see me cool all right thanks for coming on

01:48:23.460 thanks guys thanks for having me yeah have a good one bye

01:48:27.500 Yes.

01:48:33.220 Doug, MPA, you got any final thoughts today?

01:48:36.700 Yeah, I wasn't going to come on, but I had to.

01:48:39.120 I didn't.

01:48:41.300 Go ahead.

01:48:41.940 Go ahead.

01:48:42.760 No, I said I know I didn't know you were coming on.

01:48:46.300 I just heard you.

01:48:47.440 I know you texted me, but I didn't see it.

01:48:49.300 Go ahead.

01:48:50.240 Yeah, it's just because I can tell you, you respect the guy.

01:48:55.020 so you were kind of softball and i know you didn't um i know you you didn't want it to become

01:49:00.940 a debate so i didn't want to debate the guy but i was kind of getting snake oil salesman at the

01:49:08.100 beginning but talking with him he kind of you know i saw how based he was yeah i mean like he's um

01:49:17.060 i think he agreed i'd say we probably agree like 60 of the stuff he says i mean not all of it but

01:49:23.180 don't agree with like any everyone and anything you know yeah he he was great you know i'll check

01:49:29.900 out his stuff he's definitely i would never pay a dating coach but you know he's he's doing

01:49:36.700 something right and you know any i mean he's in australia so i mean that's enough makes you feel

01:49:43.660 bad for the guy australia is a australian canada guys yikes but yeah good great guess i'm glad that

01:49:51.260 you brought him on and i just didn't want to try to debate the guy because you know the i sort of

01:49:57.500 know what you brought him for but i just had to put some you know i have some serious you know

01:50:01.020 my views about dating and stuff like that so i'm glad he was able to listen and give some feedback

01:50:06.380 on it yeah no he's nice i like him um yeah he could come on in studio if he's ever here but um

01:50:14.460 um okay any final thoughts you got uh yeah guys you got it like i said to jake women still think

01:50:27.340 that you should take the the moral higher ground or the higher ground as a man you know don't ghost

01:50:33.100 women you know do they want to be modern while you're still holding on to your traditional

01:50:38.540 roles in dating why why guys why you should be asking what's in it for you at all times because

01:50:45.100 women are going to be doing the same thing always ask yourself what's in it for me as a man you know

01:50:54.620 this whole men sacrificing their mental emotional physical monetary health for nothing those days

01:51:02.220 are over and once again dating is war guys all spirit 11 war so that's it cool um well guys let

01:51:12.060 me know if there's anyone else you want me to have on i want to do more of these collaborations he's

01:51:16.200 in australia but i actually want to get more people in studio because i know you guys liked

01:51:20.200 me having like laura loomer on and those people so if you have any suggestions put them in the

01:51:24.340 comments also guys if you want to join our private members only community we do have different um

01:51:32.200 courses on there. We have administrative violence, how to use the justice system against these hoes

01:51:37.760 that are using it against you. We also have, we're going to add how to, how to dump someone. So we're

01:51:44.980 going to take the best breakups and give courses on them. I like that one. I think we should keep

01:51:49.700 that. And then what are the other ones? We have tips on how to see if your girl's cheating. We

01:51:58.080 some other stuff in there anyways it's a one-time lifetime membership so if you want to get in a

01:52:02.520 call and see if it's the right fit for you the link is the first one it's pearl invite.com

01:52:06.600 that's pearl invite.com anyways guys let me know what you think in the comments

Pearl - June 18, 2025

Jake Maddock Joins Pearl Daily

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