Pearl - May 10, 2026Laura Southern Is Holier Than Thou
Episode Stats
Words per minute
190.36716
Harmful content
Misogyny
4
sentences flagged
Toxicity
12
sentences flagged
Hate speech
6
sentences flagged
Summary
Join us as we discuss polyamory, cheating on your wife, and being a hypocrite in the public eye. We also talk about why it s better to be honest about your failures than to pretend to be a good person.
Transcript
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Who's watching the child? Why are you doing drugs with Destiny instead of watching your kid?
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You could just build your brand on like politics, not yeah, I'm an ape. Go you guys. That's a simp.
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No offense, but it's just like, I'm not that high. I would say to that is the, I would, and I said
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this earlier, I would rather be at least certainly after I had been in this sphere that I felt was so
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dishonest with the public about who they were, including myself. It was very refreshing.
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to be at a table with someone who is like, yes, I am polyamorous. Yes, I do drugs. Yes, I partake
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in all of this, quote unquote, degenerate behavior, than to be at a table with a bunch
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of people doing the exact same thing, but pretending publicly to be saints. Because at
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least I can't deconstruct the world that I was a part of without honesty. So I couldn't deconstruct
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it with the people because everyone was lying to themselves at least i have a lot more respect for
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people who can sit there and say this is who i am even if the public hate it yeah this is what i'm
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gay i'm a bisexual polyamorous guy that's it i'll get on all the time by the internet for it but
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that's just who i am rather than people who are exactly the same conduct themselves the same way
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but it's actually more dangerous to be friends with people in the right-wing media who have all
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these proclivities but don't tell them publicly because as soon as you find out about it you're
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now a threat and they have to kind of destroy you and destroy your life whereas if people have their
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cards on the table and they say this is who i am it's a lot safer to have a friendship with them
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and you can just talk honestly about your failures and that's what i that's what i needed at that time
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in my life i needed someone i could talk honestly about my failures and the struggles i was having
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i didn't believe in the trad life or marriage anymore after my husband left you know um i see
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all the rumors online Lauren cheated on her husband with destiny that didn't yeah okay why
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did he leave again I'm just tired of this narrative that you know and the world does
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not do us a service by telling us we're always the victims right I can think of a situation
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where I did not get I did not get what I wanted out of a relationship right and when I was young
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you know it's like oh he used you this blah blah blah blah blah but when you really like
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go back and think about things you're just like oh no I did x y and z I look I'm not telling you
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guys all my business but you guys you guys get the idea it's like you can't just look and say
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you were some innocent victim in this and oh the only thing I did wrong was I picked wrong it's
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like okay you were perfect in this what did you do that was wrong so happen um I didn't even meet
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him until after my marriage had ended but I we sat and I remember being completely just how how
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can I believe in the ideals of conservatism without inherently believing that my life is a failure
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like I'm a single mother now how can I how can I not hate myself and still believe in the tried
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life because no just say you're a loser that's it just say I'm a loser now don't cope don't try to
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make us think you're not a loser don't pretend you're important you're just a loser it's all
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And the idea that maybe I needed to deconstruct some of that was profoundly healing in some
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But I definitely, like I certainly concluded that I couldn't be polyamorous, that that
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But sitting there and doing drugs with destiny and talking about how my marriage had fallen
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And you ever think about like who's watching this lady's kid?
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why are you doing drugs with destiny instead of watching your kid honest than sitting with a bunch
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of people who are cheating on their wives and telling the internet you need to be trad and
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christ is king that was a lot better of a place for me to be not a healthy place to be um i do
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need structure but i feel more comfortable with people who can honestly talk about their failures
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you know on this idea of people who are cheating on their wives and telling the internet you know
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There are two interesting pieces of that, I think.
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One of them is, I think that for the public man,
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it's better to say virtuous things than to do virtuous things.
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Whereas for the private man, it's better to do virtuous things
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I'm not suggesting that a public man living a hypocritical life
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But it seems obvious to me that if your husband says, I'll be faithful and then cheats, what
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If your pastor says, be faithful, but then cheats, well, men fail, men fall to temptation.
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This is why the conservatives, it's like men fall.
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You raw dogged that hot young Latina that was eyeing you down while your white wife
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or vice versa right your latino wife got fat and though you know the little blonde girl in church
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was giving you googly eyes you didn't fall i mean like there's so many decisions you have to make
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in order to have sex with someone it was a choice right you should drive over there you got to get
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naked you got like you know you gotta you gotta thrust a bunch of times like there's so much
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it's not just falling like you did not just fall it's just incredible but that's still better than
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a pastor who says cheat like a pastor who says a perfectly christian thing to do is to cheat it
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okay so there's courage in talking about your sins publicly there's some sins guys i've done
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i don't really want to talk about publicly you know what i mean and because i'm not as courageous
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but there's something about a guy who just doesn't give an f and um you know um like it does take a
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level of courage for tate to be like yes i cheat on all the women i'm with yes you know what you're
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saying. So there's a kind of, there's a kind of call to hypocrisy that I don't think is
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necessarily wrong in public life. That said, there's a difference between, there's a difference
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between failing in the face of temptation and embracing sin while preaching virtue. And that
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is now something different. We're not talking about, I have a lot of grace for people who make
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mistakes on account of all the mistakes that I make. You know, it's easy to pick on you for
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hanging out with Milo. I hired Candace. So like, you know, nobody's batting a thousand here or
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anything. But I think that the movement as a whole, conservatism as a whole, particularly
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today, particularly since it moved online, is so graceless. I think that a fundamental flaw
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in even the message of conservatism, not only how we actually behave, but almost the message
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itself is that we uphold ideals and that's important especially because the left has been
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tearing down ideals for our entire life like they've they've been trying to deconstruct the
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ideals themselves and so we've gotten so used to upholding the ideals that we almost leave no room
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for anyone who's fallen short of the ideals to actually participate anymore you know when we
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say things like all you have to do to be successful in america's study after study demonstrates it
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You know, graduate high school, get married before you have children, don't do drugs.
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Like, you do these three things, you're going to make it in America.
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And it's important to say that that's true because you're giving people actual important
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The problem is most people fall short of one, two, or three of those at some point.
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And conservatism does a very bad job of saying now what?
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I would say that it's a it is it is probably an indictment of the conservative movement that you spent so much time in it and knew it so intimately that when you like there's no you know there's no scolding her for the disloyalty of getting to know all these people and then spreading their secrets.