Pearl - Lawyer Reveals The Awful Reality of Divorces

00:00:00.000 What up guys? Welcome to my reaction series. Today we are reacting to gray divorce and the brutal

00:00:05.860 reality for men over 50. So let's see what this woman has to say. Today we're going to talk about

00:00:12.600 our generation. My generation, your generation. That is if you're a Gen X or a boomer and you

00:00:19.140 know I've been called a boomer, not a boomer. 69 here and what's going on with us with divorces?

00:00:27.040 It's kind of crazy. And in fact, people in our generation make up 40% of all divorces now and I

00:00:36.720 think... No way. How did I not know that stat? 40% of all divorces. Okay. And that's the one thing,

00:00:43.700 that's how they lie to you about these divorce stats. It's always worse than these religious

00:00:48.280 people like to think, oh my God, I could go on for days. We need to do a video just debunking

00:00:54.280 the religious. If you find some Catholic girl or some Luther, whatever it is, that they're,

00:01:00.960 they're not going to ruin your life too.

00:01:06.020 Because what they don't include is they include people that have been married less than five

00:01:11.980 years as married, but they don't predict who's going to divorce in the future. So.

00:01:16.420 I know why this is happening and I'm going to share with you why I think that is and why I think it's

00:01:24.600 a bad idea. So we'll get right into why I think it is. People come to me, you know, I'm a divorce

00:01:31.100 attorney. I do consultations daily. Folks come in and almost always they're just tired, tired of living

00:01:41.380 with the same old, you know, it's day in day out. And most of the folks who are coming in at this

00:01:48.300 point, they've raised their kids. I don't know why, but I feel like people shouldn't, I don't want to

00:01:53.380 say should because people will live together, but if possible, men and women, if they could live

00:01:58.860 separately or just spend less time together, I find that the people, um, cause the problem is when

00:02:05.540 women, we spend too much time around a person, we just take them for granted and we just start to

00:02:12.040 find things we don't like. So I think that we do better when we see you like maybe an hour a day

00:02:17.500 and then it's great as a guy, you can get the sex. And then some guy waiting to sleep with your wife

00:02:22.900 later can listen to her problems. I think that's a great way to set it up.

00:02:27.740 And they're heading into retirement and what they're looking to do is just move into their

00:02:34.800 last 20, 30 years, reinventing their lives, you know, finally getting to have their time or at

00:02:42.640 least having, you know, thoughts or fantasies, I think in many ways, having a different kind of

00:02:49.200 relationship than the one that they've created over, you know, the last couple decades or so,

00:02:55.300 at least for me, you know, I've been married 30 years and believe me, there are days when I'm like

00:03:01.720 30 years in this, I've worked to do this 30 years where my husband and I, you know, are bickering over

00:03:10.120 complete nonsense. So, you know, I get it. I'm trying to think back to the weekend we went to a wedding,

00:03:16.480 which is always fun, big family wedding this weekend. And it's really joyful, but you know,

00:03:21.980 you've got everybody ranging from, you know, the octogenarians down to little kids running around

00:03:27.640 these big family weddings. And it's always a mixed bag, bittersweet. And for us in particular,

00:03:33.560 it's bittersweet because I didn't have the wedding that I wanted. And, you know, my husband gets a

00:03:40.380 little touchy because, you know, it was his fault. He let his mom kind of take over the whole thing.

00:03:46.960 And I wanted a destination wedding. She wanted us to get married.

00:03:53.120 You see, she's bringing this up from 30 years ago. That's marriage, fellas.

00:03:57.880 That's why it's almost beneficial to just keep getting new ones because then you don't have to,

00:04:02.560 you don't have to be reminded of the past. You know, you can just move on to the future because

00:04:07.160 there is no past.

00:04:08.200 Their church and have, you know, their people there. And we ended up getting married at his

00:04:13.260 church in the middle of the winter. None of my family could come. And it's always been a sore

00:04:18.380 spot. Those, that's not smoke you can put back in a bottle. Anyway, so we go to this wedding and

00:04:23.780 it's all touchy. So like I said, it's bittersweet. And so we're bickering about dumb stuff. Not the

00:04:29.980 least of which is like, we're leaving the wedding and, you know, my husband for whatever reason is

00:04:35.580 walking five steps ahead of me and I'm clomping along in heels, which I don't wear very often.

00:04:41.120 It's on like, you know, like, and he's, and, you know, so my daughter's with this and she's rolling

00:04:47.740 her eyes because she knows what's about to happen once we get in the car and all the polite face

00:04:51.960 drops. For 30 years, this has been going on. And, you know, for me, it's demoralizing to not have a

00:05:01.200 better handle on this stuff. And some days you just get tired and there's worse things going on.

00:05:07.220 And I understand lots of people's marriages, but, you know, death by a thousand paper cuts over the

00:05:12.820 course of decades can get you to that place. And those are the people I meet with weekly and,

00:05:20.800 you know, Hey, what I'm wanting to do is, you know, I just want to be fair. I want to get done.

00:05:27.380 You know, I want to have a good relationship after the fact, you know, so here's what I'm looking for.

00:05:32.860 I want to stay in the house and I want to, you know, maintain my same standard of living as much

00:05:40.060 as possible. And sometimes for women, that means spousal maintenance or sometimes for men, it means,

00:05:46.600 you know, keeping their retirement or minimizing their spousal maintenance, but they're generally

00:05:51.060 anticipating splitting everything down the middle. And what I'm in the, I think a little bit unenviable

00:05:58.300 position to tell people is, you know, it really is true that two can live cheaper than one. And

00:06:05.200 while we can absolutely separate everything out, we can do it quickly, we can do it efficiently.

00:06:10.680 You're really probably not going to have the same standard of living when it comes from, you know,

00:06:17.300 a financial standpoint. In fact, I've got some statistics that, you know, I want to share with

00:06:22.860 you that, you know, women over 50 experience a 45% drop in standard of living. Yeah. Cause this is

00:06:31.740 what happens. Women get the money from the betas and their head, right? Some women view one guy as

00:06:37.260 beta, another is alpha. It just depends, but women will get resources from one guy and then want to

00:06:42.760 bang the other guy. And then they don't realize. And so the goal of feminism is to get the resources

00:06:47.720 from one and bang the guys they like. Um, but unfortunately women don't have the buying power

00:06:52.280 they used to at 50. Um, so they can't get as many resources after divorce. And it's about 21% for,

00:07:00.040 for most men in our age bracket. And I'm talking about people who are 50 and up and that's, you know,

00:07:07.000 continues to age up as people get older. 27% what this is. The difference is the lifestyle going down

00:07:12.760 really hurts the women, but the men, they, men will take peace in an empty apartment over, um,

00:07:22.040 over, um, a scorned woman nagging them about the wedding 30 years ago.

00:07:28.600 As most of you know, I have been fighting on the front lines of the simp epidemic for years,

00:07:33.400 but I need to tell you about a quiet weapon being ratcheted up against men that is rarely talked about.

00:07:38.520 It's not just the relentless anti-masculinity propaganda and only fans hoes causing the societal

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00:07:49.320 pharmaceuticals and endocrine disruptors? This often includes estrogen from birth control. The

00:07:54.600 average adult consumes a credit card worth of plastic every single week. That's five grams of

00:07:59.640 plastic a week on average. So it's no wonder that the average male's testosterone is half of what

00:08:04.920 the average was 50 years ago. Testosterone levels decline 1% a year. And without a course correction,

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00:09:07.800 Oh, great. Divorced women fall into poverty. That's more than a quarter of women who think they're

00:09:14.760 improving their lives will actually fall out of, you know, from above poverty into poverty. And only 22%

00:09:24.120 of women remarry or cohabitate after they get divorced in their fifties plus.

00:09:30.920 Yeah. So what I've heard is that if they're past 50, I know somebody that dates women in that age

00:09:37.560 bracket and they, he says they've let the dream die at that point. They just want sex. And that's what

00:09:43.160 you guys have to understand. You know, we look at women not getting remarried as like, I'm a loss for

00:09:48.280 the women, but women don't like men. They don't all their actions show. They do not like men at all.

00:09:56.040 So if they can get, you know, Tinder on speed dial needs are taken care of, unfortunately.

00:10:03.080 So divorce erodes your retirement savings, your home equity. And, you know, for a lot of women,

00:10:08.920 especially if they were in a traditional marriage, um, where they were a stay at home mom, you know,

00:10:14.840 it creates problems with social security. And so they end up finding themselves instead of this

00:10:21.000 life that they've built together, you know, this, this retirement that they were looking forward to,

00:10:27.640 it really becomes a getting by. I heard a speaker, a really smart guy describe it like in the Bible,

00:10:36.200 there was Israel was in slavery in Egypt, right? And they wanted to go to the promised land,

00:10:43.560 but the choices that they made in the middle left them wandering in the wilderness, wandering in the

00:10:50.440 desert, you know, getting by scraping by day by day, never making it to the promised land because,

00:10:56.920 you know, they didn't go to the promised land the right way. Anyway, when I can share a little bit

00:11:04.360 more on my opinions about how to get to the promised land out of like Egypt, there's also impacts on

00:11:10.120 health. And this is fascinating to me because they don't think about even though that someone annoying

00:11:15.240 you, it might be terrible, but what's worse is being sick by yourself. Women don't really think

00:11:20.680 that through as I'm seeing more and more people do this. It's concerning. It's concerning to me that

00:11:26.280 boomers, which were my parents and, you know, even in Gen Xers now, Gen Xers, a lot of Gen Xers went

00:11:33.640 through divorce as kids because boomers started to see divorce as just another menu of options to deal

00:11:40.360 with family troubles. So really high numbers of Gen Xers, you know, were latchkey kids. And a lot of us

00:11:48.440 decided, you know, I don't want that for my kids. And so we, you know, white knuckled it, you know, just

00:11:55.000 dealt with it until our kids got out of school. And so that's why I think a lot of people are now,

00:12:00.440 you know, hitting that 50, you know, 60, 55, 50s, and really thinking, all right, like, how can I

00:12:09.560 improve my life? How can I, you know, get out there and do things? But what ends up happening

00:12:15.560 is the kind of jump out of the frying pan into the fire, especially when it comes to health.

00:12:21.000 So divorced adults over 50 have higher rates of heart disease, diabetes, depression, and disability.

00:12:28.840 Women, in fact, face higher cardiovascular problems and, you know, both genders experience

00:12:37.400 weight changes going up, disrupted sleep, and weakened immune system. But here's to me what

00:12:43.480 was the most shocking is an elevated suicide risk. So people are making a choice to improve their lives,

00:12:51.720 but divorced men, particularly over 50 have a suicide rate that is nearly nine times higher

00:12:59.880 than that of divorced women and other counterparts. So it's like, it's the loss of structure,

00:13:06.360 it's the loss of community, it's the health problems that go along. It's

00:13:11.640 Yeah, and that's the thing, women don't think about who's going to take care of them when they're

00:13:15.800 old and generally become someone else's problem, because they can't pay for it. A lot of daughters

00:13:20.280 are enslaved to their mother's health problems and money problems, or sons, you know, because men,

00:13:26.840 they like can't let women fail. I don't know why it's like not in their DNA. It's like you could have

00:13:34.200 a woman destroy a man and he still won't let her fail. They don't step out of a relationship that

00:13:40.280 they've known into this new, transformative, fantastic, you know, relationship with, you know,

00:13:47.480 some young hot thing. I mean, it's like, that's the that's the dream, right? That's the myth.

00:13:51.800 It's like you trade up for a younger model. But you know, when you have standard of living, your

00:13:57.640 ability to do things decreases, your social circle gets smaller, you really don't always end up, you

00:14:05.400 know, with the options you think you might have. So both men and women face increased loneliness,

00:14:13.320 and men are the most socially vulnerable. And in fact, you know, I because most men don't have a

00:14:19.240 lot of choice when it comes to dating. So to be fair, neither do old women. But like, old women,

00:14:27.000 the thing is, they'll still get 100 matches on a dating app, like you would be shocked.

00:14:31.000 I can think of, and this this particular client of mine, which I don't like to share details about

00:14:37.560 my client because I are any client in this one be identifiable in any way. But I can remember this

00:14:43.720 one client who was just as devastated by his wife's decision to divorce him late in, you know,

00:14:51.640 later in life, they had really Yeah, a lot of guys don't see it coming. They think they're safe

00:14:56.600 after 30 years. They're not struggled and worked made fortunes, lost fortunes made fortunes, lost

00:15:02.680 fortunes. Predominantly, she was a stay at home mom, but they had kind of hit this apex, you know,

00:15:08.760 during a real estate run up. And she wanted to basically cash in, take her money and run. And

00:15:15.400 what would have provided, you know, the whole estate, which would have provided very well

00:15:20.520 for both of them going into retirement was halved. Yeah, women sacrifice for women, take men's

00:15:27.880 sacrifice for themselves, men will sacrifice for the family and women will just ruin it.

00:15:32.040 A million dollars can't buy as much as you think it can anymore, especially when you're 60 and

00:15:37.960 your earning capacity is limited going forward. It's not like you're going to be able to, you know,

00:15:42.680 draw $10,000 a month off a million bucks and have it last, you know, for the rest of your life. So

00:15:48.280 he was put in the position of not being able to retire and just flat depressed about getting back in

00:15:54.680 the dating game. I mean, I'm going to tell you, if I had to get back, well, for one, I would never

00:16:00.040 get back into that dating game, regardless of what options I have or don't have. I mean,

00:16:05.240 the sheer prospect of having to be naked in front of somebody new in and of itself is enough for me,

00:16:11.480 I don't know about you. But it also like seeing somebody naked, dude, come on now. I mean,

00:16:16.520 there's just some practicalities here. Anyway, it's that psychological deep loss of identity

00:16:24.760 that is the most devastating because you go from, you know, in your 20s, you became y'all and now you

00:16:35.640 come out and you're reinventing yourself. And I'm not suggesting that if there's abuse, if you've been

00:16:41.480 in a long term abusive relationship, and you need to get out for your emotional safety and physical

00:16:48.600 safety for certain, but just thinking through divorce is like a, I don't know, like new hair,

00:16:55.560 new life, new outfit, new life, you know, new wife, new life, bad plan. It's just a terrible,

00:17:01.640 terrible plan. And one thing. Yeah. And that's, that's the thing. That's why men,

00:17:05.400 women hate that they have to be attached to a guy and become part of his dream instead of their own

00:17:12.600 dreams. And that's kind of like the empaths that women are at. It's like, do they want to sacrifice

00:17:17.560 their dreams for the family? Unfortunately, most women won't. Most women will not think that, you

00:17:23.320 know, I have seen work that I have worked on myself, my husband and I have worked on ourselves

00:17:29.720 is deciding that you want to have a new marriage and that you want to, you know, have a new relationship

00:17:38.920 and committing to have that with your current spouse. Now, it absolutely takes two to really

00:17:46.920 make that work. And even when two people are working out, like I told you this weekend was

00:17:50.840 kind of freaking nightmare, you know, because we're having a petty argument in front of our 22 year old

00:17:57.480 daughter knowing full and well that that kid heard us arguing like idiots growing up. It's the very

00:18:04.680 last thing that I want to do. In fact, later she shared with me, you know, mom, one of the things

00:18:10.440 that makes me, you know, think maybe I won't get married is, you know, I don't want to have these kind

00:18:16.360 of arguments with somebody, you know, kind of arguments you and dad have. And also, what if you two

00:18:22.360 what if I bring somebody around and you two get into it? Like I can just, I'm telling you, I was

00:18:31.800 crushed. Like, and that's the thing women have even good women, right? We still have this annoyingness

00:18:38.840 about us, unfortunately. So it's really a liability to the men most of the time. And the petty arguments

00:18:48.120 are generally started by the women. And it does turn off a lot of younger people to marriage,

00:18:52.440 because they watch their parents just argue all the time. And like their mother just nag their,

00:18:57.880 their husbands for years. And a lot of times kids, they don't understand what's going on. But

00:19:02.760 retrospectively, they look back and, you know, why would it be different? Most people repeat the mistakes

00:19:09.240 of their parents, crushing, you know, but it's same, different. You know, when I mean, wherever I go,

00:19:16.920 there I am, you know, so if you're thinking about improving your life, I think you are going to be

00:19:22.440 well served to start with you, because I'm going to tell you, and I'll tell you, even in these consults,

00:19:27.720 maybe I'll get into this in another episode. But I'll tell you one thing that I never ever have

00:19:34.600 anybody come to divorce consults and say to me is, you know what, I'm the problem of the

00:19:40.920 difficulties in my marriage. And this is coming from a divorce attorney, not one. And I think if

00:19:47.080 any of us, especially us Gen Xers, and boomers, you know, we're, we're greatest generation, we're,

00:19:52.760 we're pretty gritty people, if there's any group of people that have what it takes to take a hard,

00:20:00.360 long look in the mirror and get honest, you know, it's us, we have what it takes, you know, to get

00:20:07.240 real to be real, and we really should start getting real with ourselves. Now, that's where you get to

00:20:14.840 the promised land. Because the real thing you're going to find out is it's your patterns that are

00:20:22.520 keeping you enslaved. That's why you're in Egypt. Okay. And if you come out of that, if you're like,

00:20:30.920 look, I want a new life, I want to do things different. But all you do is keep doing you,

00:20:37.560 you're going to be wandering in the wilderness in the desert over and over. So why not start walking

00:20:45.640 out of those negative behavior patterns, you know, and go straight to the promised land by doing it

00:20:52.520 the right way with your spouse. This is a person that you coupled up with a long time ago, you've

00:20:57.880 got history, you've got family, you probably got kids, you've built something together.

00:21:07.480 Yeah, because women would rather just talk to Chad and Tyrone, unfortunately. Anyways, guys,

00:21:13.400 let me know what you think. I actually like this divorce attorney, I might give her a subscribe

00:21:17.320 button. She seems pretty interesting. So I'm going to subscribe to the video. What do you guys think?

00:21:24.120 Do you guys think she said anything interesting? Do you think that most people should work it out

00:21:27.880 instead of getting divorced or just call it quits? Personally, I think most wives are so insufferable,

00:21:33.720 they should just call it quits. But hey, maybe you guys think differently,

00:21:37.080 like the video, subscribe, and I'll see you guys next time. Bye bye.

Pearl - August 03, 2025

Lawyer Reveals The Awful Reality of Divorces

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