Pearl - December 12, 2024
Liberal and Conservative Women Are Not That Different | Pearl Daily
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 37 minutes
Words per Minute
161.08453
Summary
According to Psychology Today, emotionally abusive relationships can be hard to detect because the abuse is often nuanced and gradual. Abuse occurs slowly and gradually, and once trust has been established and the emotions are involved through coercive and controlling behaviors, the emotionally abusive partner creates power and control dynamic that systemically diminishes your sense of self-worth and your ability to trust your judgment. These relationships are inherently stressful and can impact your mental and physical health.
Transcript
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women today are wondering if they are in an emotionally abusive relationship and so psychology
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today is helping them out apparently according to psychology today emotionally abusive relationships
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can be hard to detect because the abuse is often nuanced and gradual hello everybody my name is
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pearl davis and welcome to another episode of pearl daily make sure you like the video on your
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way in apparently emotionally abusive relationships diminish your sense of self-worth and ability to
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trust your judgment these relationships are inherently stressful and can impact your mental
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and physical health think of your body as an informant that communicates to you when things
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aren't okay, or if you're being harmed. So apparently this woman, Leah Aguirre,
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a contributor and therapist on Psychology Today says, I am often asked, how do I know if I'm in
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an emotionally abusive relationship? Ladies, I'm sure. You just would not know. I mean,
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you got to figure it out. And I always respond with, well, how do you feel in your relationship?
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This response can be frustrating for those individuals who are looking for a checklist,
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an itemized list of specific behaviors that can be labeled as abusive.
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Unfortunately, because emotionally abusive relationships are often complex and more nuanced,
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the abuse can be hard to detect and put one's finger on.
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Emotionally abusive relationships often don't start off as abusive.
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The abuse occurs slowly and gradually, and once trust has been established and the emotions are involved through coercive and controlling behaviors,
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the emotionally abusive partner creates power and control dynamic that systemically diminishes your sense of self-worth and your ability to trust your judgment and intuition.
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This can make it hard to see the relationship for what it is.
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Therefore, it's important to focus on how you are feeling in the relationship physically and
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emotionally. Now, the reason everybody I'm reading you this article is not because I'm trying to
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shove some BS psychology down your throat, but I want to show you how women, and I guess men
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sometimes, YouTube, no hate speech, not all, not all, not all, get into the wrong type of content
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and what it does is it rationalizes them leaving relationships
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and also leaving their husbands and it supplies the therapy industry so this
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psychology today you know one of the main um search bars at the top is find a therapist in
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your city or zip code so what are they peddling people to tell your problems to problems you used
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to work out with your friends, family, and you would go to close relatives and maybe
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The challenge is now people are having one kid.
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And what happens is they have crazy women in colleges that go study psychology.
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And yeah, they set your wife up with a crazy woman to talk to about her problems in your
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relationship and they label everything as abusive.
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And in their words, her words, her words, it's based on how you feel, not a checklist
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For example, it says healthy relationships offer you peace and security.
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Now, as you guys know, this isn't always necessarily the case.
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You are not always going to feel secure in a relationship.
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A woman could be in a healthy relationship with a guy that's very high status.
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She probably will never feel secure completely because that guy can trade her for another 22-year-old.
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Do you think Melania Trump wakes up every day feeling secure every day?
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And is the insecurity that we feel, is it their fault?
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I mean, it's not like they put a gun to our head and make us feel insecure.
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Sometimes we feel insecure anyways, regardless of what they are doing.
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And so what this therapy website is doing is it's saying the feelings that you have are another person's fault.
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Now, it also says emotionally abusive relationships are inherently stressful,
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and your body takes on the stress of your emotionally abusive relationship.
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below are examples of how the stress of an abusive relationship can manifest in your body
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and what i've noticed is in a lot of these websites that are selling you something
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they have a tendency to say that the symptoms are symptoms that most people have or everybody has
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at some point chronic headaches chronic fatigue digestive issues weight loss hair loss high blood
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pressure muscle tension back pain inconsistent or irregular periods insomnia poor memory loss
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and brain fog so now they're going to ask you to tune in to how you are feeling take some time to
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connect with your body and ask how you're feeling ask yourself the following questions so i guess
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these questions will let me know am i being abused you know it's not clear so i got to go to my
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website and i guess you know i'm gonna see based on these questions if i'm being emotionally abused
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let me see have there been any noticeable changes in my mood or mental state since being in a
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relationship so if i've had any changes in my mood or mental state since being in a relationship
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then if I have I've been emotionally abused okay interesting how might I be acting or behaving
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differently that may indicate that I'm not okay so if I act or behave differently
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how do I feel around or in the presence of my partner what feelings come up when I think about
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my partner or relationship? And have there been any noticeable changes in my body or physical
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health? So what's actually going on here is oftentimes women are married to a guy that we
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deem as boring. And what happens is we know that they're a good guy. We know it. But, and that guy
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provides security, but they have to rationalize a reason to leave. So what she's doing or the
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person writing this or the people she's consulting with are doing is they're married to good men
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and they need to rationalize a reason to divorce. They know he's not actually abusive so they bring
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out emotional abuse and it's really just because they married men that they find boring or they
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didn't like that much because they wanted a kid and they got whatever they wanted and they need
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a reason to leave and they don't want to look like they're a bad person because if they leave
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because they're bored, that makes them look like a bad person. If they leave because they were
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emotionally abused, then that saves their reputation. That is women's driving force,
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is our reputation. And when you put it like that, stuff like this makes perfect sense,
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sort of. I mean, it's still insane. But now, guys, just a quick reminder, if you guys want
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to me to read your comments questions concerns the audacitynetwork.com we do have our own um
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chat on here and all you have to do is go to the audacitynetwork.com sign up for our monthly or
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yearly memberships and i do read your questions and your comments in the chat we don't have any
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yet so you could be the first one you know while we're live every day and you know most of the time
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on channels you have to pay for them to read your comment every single time you do a ten dollar
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super chat lucky for you we're demonetized so if you go onto my website and chat in that chat
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then it's 10 bucks for the month 80 for the year you can put unlimited chats i mean please don't
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put essays like within reason okay nobody's abused it so we could keep doing it as long as no one
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abuses it okay so the next story that we're going to talk about is caitlin clark so caitlin clark
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is a woman that is playing in the wnba and caitlin clark is a phenomenal basketball player um she
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but the challenge is she is in a league full of liberal women now these liberal women
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are trying to make things political when really it should i would argue be about basketball so
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she was nominated to be the athlete of the year and at this award ceremony what did they have to
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bring up. Sexism and racism. Now, as you guys know, women, we do change over time and we often
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go with what is trendy. So if you have a upper class, it seems like conservative woman in a league
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full of lesbians liberals um i'm not surprised when her rhetoric is becoming more liberal
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and the reason this actually relates to the stages that women go through in marriage is
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oftentimes they start off as a christian conservative woman um and if they're in the
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wrong friend group get into the wrong content or get a wrong the wrong the wrong people they go
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through different phases where you know we change so let's for athlete of the year like tremendous
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yeah you know your announcement for athlete of the year like tremendous incredible positive
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feedback that's what we've seen across the board there's always going to be some negativity and i
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feel like you have had to answer more questions than anybody about the intersectionality of race
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and gender and sexuality in sport because of just who you are and you represent the growth of this
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thing and even today earlier today Megan Kelly she was saying that you were apologizing for
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your white privilege and the fact that you wanted to uplift black female athletes and make sure that
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they were getting the shine kind of like your pioneers were getting the shine that they deserve
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and I just want to know how you feel or how you respond to some of those criticisms when you have
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to deal with something that it's really not your problem like I feel like it's them looking in a
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mirror a little bit yeah but it still comes down on your shoulders I feel like I always have had
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really good perspective on everything that's kind of happened in my life whether that's been good
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whether that's been bad and then obviously coming to the WNBA like I've said I feel like I've earned
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every single thing that's happened to me over the course of my career but also I grew up a fan of
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this league from a very young age like my favorite player was Maya Moore like I know what this league
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was about and like I said like it's only been around 25 plus years so I know there's been so
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many amazing black women that have been in this league and continuing to uplift them I think is
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very important and that's something I'm very aware of and like I said like I try to just be real and
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authentic and you know share my truth and I think that's very easy for me like I'm very comfortable
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in my own skin um and that's kind of been how it is my entire life yes now we have to think about
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this from her point of view she recently like let's put ourselves in caitlyn clark's shoes
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she knows that the owners of the league are liberal women she knows this she knows that
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all of her teammates are liberal women. She knows that if she sprinkles a little
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bit of liberal talking points here and there, maybe she'll get beat up less on
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the court. Maybe they'll actually put her on the Olympic team. When I think of the
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incentives here. I can't really blame her for starting to have this rhetoric. Now, does she
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believe it? Does she not believe it? I don't know. All I can say is the incentives make sense here.
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Let's say she has a 20-year career. That's her plan. She wants to play in the WNBA for the next
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20 years. And it would make her life 10 times easier if she just sprinkled a little bit of
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liberalism, pandered a little bit, and then she gets better spots on teams, she gets better
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You know, it's easy for me to say, working in media, just say what you believe, right?
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I mean, I made a career out of saying what I believe, but not everybody's in that position.
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and many times people go through life and they have to make a choice say what they believe
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and get fired from their job miss out on opportunities or shut up pander a little
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bit and make more money and have an easier life and I think a lot of you guys probably relate to
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that in the chat. I'm sure many of you have been in positions where you've wanted to speak your
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mind, but you know if you speak your mind, you're going to have consequences. So I'm a little bit
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more understanding on this. What do you guys think? Let me check the chat.
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go along to get along no thanks yeah look it many of you i'm sure will just leave the job
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f this i am not doing corporate america because i'm tired of this bs but for every one of you
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that quit there's someone that said you know what i'm gonna pander because i would rather do this
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than go uber choices and trade-offs right and make enough money to tell them to suck my diversity
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yeah and you know you see that with celebrities right so celebrities over the years what they'll
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do when they're younger they'll say you know what i'm not going to comment on politics we saw this
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with say lebron james when he was younger i don't maybe he did but as far as i remember i don't
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remember him being this political but when he got a lot of money and he got really good
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he started saying whatever he wanted same thing with yay you know I think he's gotten more extreme
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the more f you money he had and he could really say what he wanted you know so um I need you to
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fix the thing so i can't particularly you know blame her for that and some of you might say that
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another guest that is going to come in and speak about the legal system in India so as you guys
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know this week I did cover a young man who took his life in India because his wife was taking him
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or his ex-wife was taking him to court and abusing the legal system there in order to
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basically ruin his life and he ends up with a hour and a half video detailing all of the abuse
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and he ends up taking his life releasing the video and has a long suicide letter saying that
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he did not wish to commit suicide the only reason he committed suicide was because of the court
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system. Now, this was much to my surprise because as far as I knew, or at least at one point,
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I believed this was more of a Western problem. But the more I learn about men's rights and men's
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issues, I see that across the globe, they are discriminated against and having these kind of
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issues. So when I asked on Twitter about experts that I could bring on the show to talk about the
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issues in the indian family court system one of the accounts that i was referred to was the save
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the indian family foundation the largest men's rights ngo invited by parliament and today we
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have him on the show so let's bring him up it says r-e-a-l-s-i-f-f is the account on twitter
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yeah hi thanks thanks pearl for inviting me hi um could you tell me a little bit more about
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your background i just have um the twitter handle maybe we could start with okay uh well first we
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created this NGO 20 years back okay so i joined the movement in 2004 and uh in 2005 we created
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this NGO as a website and in fact we came across immediately we came across Dr. Warren Farrell's
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work Paul Elam and a lot of American and Western men's activists we were all you know connecting
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and of course I could meet them only in 2014 in the international conference on Men's Institute
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yeah so so of course my personal background is I worked in tech industry I was an automotive
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software designer in bosch both both in india and germany and i was also working as a manager in
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dulex packard in the r d the printer department yeah so that is my background and then of course
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i quit my job and also as joint startups i mean i created my own startups and of course i started
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running this organization same indian family foundation so how did you um get involved was
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that something you went through personally did you you were taken to family i i i went through
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something personally and i got uh red filled uh in in getting that reality what is going on and
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i was shocked what was going on because in those days there was mandatory arrest law for domestic
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violence the whole family can be arrested the man the man's parents his siblings his brothers and
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sisters maybe the sister's minor daughter as well everything everybody will be torn in prison
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on made one line or two line complaint by a woman okay and that is i'm talking about 2004 or 2005.
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of course we got it changed but here is what you you know what i'm i'm explaining here that you
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said right there is a perception that all these radical stuff and feminism work stuff is only a
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western problem and feminism is really needed in india or maybe china and africa and middle eastern
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countries that is not really true and the western media is throwing a lot of blue pills on on the
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mass of people right so that's the problem and that's what i want to address yeah so what do
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Like CNN, BBC, Guardian and New York Times and everybody, they have a completely ideological
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They are writing stuff about patriarchy, misogyny, male-dominated society, everything since last
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about India and Southeast countries or African countries
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young women used to be burned by their in-laws.
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It was in Oprah in 2001, and they called Bangalore City
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But then we found that that entire thing was a hoax.
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Like India has been called the rape capital and all that.
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And unfortunately, people who are in right wing
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conservative even they are you know they buy it because it is so powerful so the way could you
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tell me more about how the legal system works in india so i because when i went there like a decade
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ago um but i didn't know too much about you guys have different like states is it similar to the
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us where you have different states i just remember it is similar and in what way it is different okay
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uh it is similar to u.s states however our federal laws are more stronger the laws are not state
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specific okay the family laws are more federal that means it's the same law all over the country
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the state whereas in usa you go to florida you have one set of family laws and you go to why
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ohio it can change right so there is a difference but in india it is all like a uniform law across
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the country that is one important thing the other thing is the indian judges of supreme court they
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retire and there is somebody called a chief justice okay they retire a date of 65 and then we don't
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call the state top courts as a supreme court we call them high court that's different and so we
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have a hierarchy like the smaller courts then the high court at the state level only one high court
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first state and then we have the supreme court okay and you can continue appealing even in a
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matrimonial dispute you can go to supreme court you can go to the supreme court for a matrimonial
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dispute yes yes yes that's strange right wow yeah so it's interesting you guys have different
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languages in different states right isn't that true yeah because english is common yeah no but
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But you know, India is a predominantly English,
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so India is an English, it's an official language,
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The real problem is we have 15 million pending court cases.
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so a contested divorce can take six to seven years
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India is actually not a patriarchal country or misogyny,
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women are put at a pedestal, if you visited India, right,
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Now, the narrative often in the society is that
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if there is a divorce, a woman's life is destroyed.
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That is that very traditional kind of a narrative.
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it's an annual income, that's what the demands are made
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Now, how can a man pay five to six times of his income?
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It will take like maybe 20 years to earn that money.
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Then the man is told, why don't you tell your parents
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to sell their properties or something and give us money
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So it's basically an industry, false case industry, that is run by the lawyers and the judges, judicial system.
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And do you guys have the same immunity for judges and prosecutors there that we have in the U.S.?
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In fact, it's much more than, you know, I can't criticize a judge, a particular judge.
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I will get contempt of court. I will be going to prison for a month.
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um and then is that why because one thing when i first started my show um i would have people come
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on and argue that like india was the country i would hear about the most is they would say we
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they don't have any of these relationship issues because their divorce rate is very very low
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so is it low because it takes six years to get a divorce no no no no no that i mean i
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clarify the data because we are doing research for swallow india's divorce rate is around six
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percent i mean divorce and separation rate whereas there is a lot of fake stuff uh that's going on
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that is less than one percent because that is 20 year old data let me tell you i am 52 right now
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at the age of 30 for you know in my first 30 years of my life i only knew two people who
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And I'll tell you, in certain groups or families or regions,
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okay so the data is old and so you're saying the first half of your life you only knew two people
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that got divorced wow what was that cultural shift like that had to have been um because i mean i've
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seen it in america but my whole life you always knew someone that was getting divorced so it
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wasn't um i can't imagine going through life this way you know you heard of the proud stuff right
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the true uh you heard of the fraud fraud stuff right we have lived that life we have seen our
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parents as the fraud okay so so i have lived that life you know i know how it feels however
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those people in those days they were not getting divorced uh not because you know the divorce
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courts divorce laws were not friendly it was not easy to get divorced or go to court the other
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problem was that the man and the woman were financially dependent on each other like poor
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people do not get divorced you know because because you know you you are surviving on each
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other for money right you don't want to end up destitute okay it can happen right so so so that's
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how the country becomes more affluent uh you know people will will have more choices yeah
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got it so i'm curious have dating apps affected india at all has um like our people oh no okay
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Not really. Not really. Whether it's an arranged marriage or it is a love marriage or a dating marriage, the risk of divorce and separation is equal.
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Oh, it is? Okay. So can you tell me a little bit more about this case that we've been covering?
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So it's received in or now. I mean, I'm covering and I'm in America.
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So do you see it being effective? Like, has it gotten attention in India?
00:30:31.320
Like, what has been the ramification of this video?
00:30:35.440
it has got massive attention in print media tv media the top tv channels uh let's say republic
00:30:42.480
or uh india today and uh times now these are all top uh top tv channels then and cnn's equivalent
00:30:50.880
cnn 18 and all that they all have covered it several days so it's like a top story going on
00:30:56.480
for last 48 hours and do you think um like have there been any arrests made um can she even be
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prosecuted for like false claims or looking into the judge you know when man when a man dies when
00:31:13.840
a man dies he gets murdered he gets murdered by his wife or this kind of a situation there's a
00:31:19.840
chance that she may be arrested she may be in the prison for 14 days or so that's it after that
00:31:26.640
nothing much happens she gets released under bail she may right now apply for anticipatory bail which
00:31:32.960
may get rejected but you know generally uh you know for men this is not that stringent and they
00:31:39.680
are quite lenient so the consequences for this kind of a woman are not high okay and what and
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there is one more ironic point all the false cases he filed on the on the man they will continue
00:31:55.200
running against his parents so he's dead but his parents have to keep facing those false cases
00:32:01.600
for next couple of years wow because all these false domestic cases are filed on the parents
00:32:09.080
as well so their son is dead but the parents will be running around those go and that's because of
00:32:15.220
the dowry law right the there's some law with domestic indian domestic violence law they
00:32:21.960
consider the whole family you know because india used to have a joint family system
00:32:26.980
So even India has two domestic violence laws, by the way.
00:32:33.500
which was actually before the American domestic violence law.
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The American domestic violence law, VAWA, was passed in 1994.
00:32:45.560
And then in 2005, India got more Joe Biden-style domestic violence law,
00:32:53.660
So we have two domestic violence laws, okay?
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One has restraining orders and all that, which is recent,
00:33:21.940
in every decade, it has shifted by four or five years.
00:33:26.180
So let's say 15 years back, I will be surprised if I hear people marrying after 30.
00:33:32.300
People used to get married, I mean, women used to get married around 24, 25.
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Now, average woman marries 28, 30, kind of.
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So the age of marriage of women is shifting due to a lot of government policies as well
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because to control the population, they are encouraging women in this way to, you know,
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because Indian population, they are trying to control just like what they did in China.
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00:33:56.180
Okay, well, is there anything else that you think an American audience should know about India or about this case that you think is important?
00:34:07.240
Yeah, about this case, I would like to say that just half an hour before committing suicide, he tweeted to Elon Musk and Donald Trump.
00:34:16.640
So he felt that there is some hope for men as long as there is Elon Musk and Trump doing something.
00:34:23.320
so just imagine in a distant place like india uh there are men who are counting on them so that
00:34:29.000
tweet is there in the i will share it so and he's he uploaded a video that entire video in rumble
00:34:36.840
uh because he believed that no nobody will there will not be any censorship so so this censorship
00:34:41.960
issue free speech is true and all these are universal uh i mean that is what we are all
00:34:47.480
facing and we were all you know banned and shadow banned and de-platformed from many of the social
00:34:54.280
media so so that's what i can say that is the problem is same same that we have been facing
00:34:59.720
you know one of our supreme court chief justice which who just retired just now he said indian
00:35:05.640
constitution is a feminist document he said that needs a what a feminist what indian constitution
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is feminist the constitution is feminist wow well thank you very much he was a harvard educated
00:35:25.400
he was a harvard educated you know he's he had a harvard phd okay so he was completely he had
00:35:31.080
one really always yeah so he had the that's what we say wow well thank you very much for coming on
00:35:40.280
um we'll definitely have you back um for different cases so thank you very much um
00:35:46.360
and where can can you tell them where they can find you your youtube website whatever uh we have
00:35:52.360
our website saveindianfamily.org that is where most male victims land to get support so we have
00:35:59.400
telegram groups and all and our twitter id is uh real safe real s-i-f-f uh real is real just like
00:36:08.040
like Real Journal Trump and SIFS, you know, that's for San Francisco and I and FF.
00:36:20.440
So, you know, a lot of times I think that the passport bros can sell dreams.
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This is the commonality I've gotten from people across the world is that these issues
00:36:33.340
really are universal no matter what country you go to.
00:37:02.820
but if they pull the stream, I'm going to start another one. I think they warn you. I do. I think
00:37:07.580
they warn you. He's been tweeting about the Earth's alleged underpopulation crisis, but should we be
00:37:14.660
concerned? We've agreed that it's not birth rate that's causing any kind of climate change. It's
00:37:22.220
not the driver, at least, that's for sure. You think it should be, people should qualify and be
00:37:29.820
tested you think people should be tested you think we should just feed them and
00:37:34.380
let them age out voluntarily right I mean it so as a society I mean we value
00:37:42.820
freedom and the you know reproductive choice is one of those freedoms and I
00:37:49.020
think the better approach is to try to educate people so that they're
00:37:54.580
responsible when they have children and they can care for them but I mean I
00:37:58.760
I think having the government getting involved in anything like this, I mean, China's done that.
00:38:05.920
I completely agree with you about reproductive freedom.
00:38:09.060
I think that's the most important thing we need today.
00:38:12.360
Hundreds of millions of couples are denied their right to not procreate.
00:38:21.340
They do not have the contraceptive services, reproductive health services that they need.
00:38:28.760
those are not provided and maybe people should supply their own but they can't afford it because
00:38:35.560
they're having more offspring that they can't feed. Where is that? Just about everywhere. Try
00:38:41.400
to get a sterilization here in America when you haven't had kids and you're only 22. That's true.
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00:38:49.320
We're not allowing people to not breathe. We see people like that all the time and you can put an
00:38:54.040
iud and a copper iud is effective for 10 years it's inert have you ever worked in a grocery
00:38:59.400
store and seen a a lady with a bonnet on her head with eight kids walking behind her you think that
00:39:05.240
she's being responsible you think that she's really taking into consideration what she's
00:39:10.280
supposed to do responsibly you think that she's not on section 8 housing you don't think that we
00:39:15.000
paying for her to house her kids who's probably going to grow up and steal my wheels off my car
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00:39:23.640
I grew up with six brothers and seven sisters at a time when, you know, I grew up on a plantation in Alabama.
00:39:31.220
And we grew up in a little hut house, bathroom outside.
00:39:35.560
And my family raised an amazing family, children.
00:39:41.020
But what the difference was then than it is now is that before you had babies, you got married.
00:39:46.840
So you have the father and the mother in the home.
00:39:49.180
And while the fathers are earning a living, the mother was watching over his children.
00:39:56.520
We didn't have government in our lives at the time.
00:40:02.020
And in America, we were not allowing all these illegal aliens and refugees to come into our country.
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00:40:08.700
So our government, we're not taking care of folks from other parts of the world and the families in America.
00:40:17.260
out. I think you've pretty much... I don't know. Jesse Lee Peterson kills me. Oh, he's so funny.
00:40:28.440
I'm going to keep going. Hold on. Pissed off everybody. But you said there's not
00:40:36.000
anything you've heard that you don't think is crap. So what do you think? You said what you
00:40:41.600
don't think. What do you think? I know that we need to restore the family. We need a smaller
00:40:45.700
the government because government don't make anything work. They screw you up. We need to
00:40:51.400
stop taking care of women who are having these babies out of wedlock. We need to stop taking
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00:40:55.980
care of these women who are coming from other countries. We need to stop taking care of their
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babies. We need to take care of American families first by getting them away from the government
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and restoring order. You're a pastor, right? Yes. And you're a radio host? Yes. Okay. And you said
00:41:13.160
you believe white people should have more children we definitely need white babies
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00:41:18.360
and i tremble at the idea that white babies that the white uh group is going down in numbers
00:41:26.600
because if you lose white folks america it's over for america because if you notice white
00:41:32.440
people tend to be more innovative they're more creative they have ideas about things
00:41:43.160
All these other races don't do nothing, but...
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Because if you notice, white people tend to be more innovative.
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They're more creative. They have ideas about things.
00:42:03.540
All these other races don't do nothing, but destroy.
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00:42:12.740
do you have a story or a question my favorite thing was just the face of everybody in the room
00:42:20.100
was so mad my producer says the face of the white dude was like what did i do
00:42:31.460
i'm just saying being white's awesome we don't we don't get i don't
00:42:37.940
he's funny he's funny okay so the next thing I wanted to give you guys an update on yeah but
00:42:49.960
then they can get to is apparently this woman now the news so I got a text this afternoon
00:42:56.560
and you guys know the woman I've been telling you about that she had sex with a hundred men
00:43:03.400
now she's looking to have sex with a thousand men well apparently she was on my show last year
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00:43:11.400
and mind you sometimes these panels i really try to block out because they were really exhausting
00:43:18.520
but i actually do remember this show um i don't know why i literally forgot about her so she must
00:43:24.520
not have been that entertaining um but this was her on my show a year ago yeah but then they can
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get to know the new 22 year old yeah yeah but not all guys not all guys fancy fresh me sure
00:43:38.920
they'll they'll get to know the 40 year olds when you're 60. some guys some guys have vegetables
00:43:43.880
for older women like i'm curious what do you guys make a month on only fans personally i don't like
00:43:48.040
to say same okay is it over six figures a month yeah okay is it over six figures i just said i'm
00:43:55.800
not saying okay um so did you you don't want to why does every every time i come on a podcast
00:44:01.480
everyone always asks me asks for that question don't they we want to know they want to know
00:44:09.640
i wouldn't do it if it wasn't enough she charges more than she does per month the brunette charges
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00:44:13.800
more than the blonde per month so if she's working six tickets she's got to be in it logically it
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00:44:18.040
depends on like following and stuff like that and like obviously you do a little bit less
00:44:22.360
doing it like that it just depends um i mean i don't face my arsehole but if you want to see that
0.50
00:44:27.800
subscribe i had enough i spoke to enough hookers in a year that i think i'm permanently traumatized
00:44:38.040
you know go to my go to the audacity network.com because i did that for you i love you guys you
00:44:44.440
know i really like to put in an entertaining show but my god that was a long year of my life so go
00:44:51.320
Go to theaudacitynetwork.com monthly or yearly membership.
00:45:00.520
You know, I'll tell you what, because we have this idea that these are special women.
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00:45:07.920
This will never happen to anybody you know, none of the people in your life.
00:45:15.120
But most of these women were from small towns and good families.
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lily phillips her she her parents talked to her every day she's from an upper class family in
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england and i would just see woman after woman that would be christian muslim small town big town
00:45:36.560
and yeah black filled me it really did um okay so next on the agenda uh we are going to be
00:45:46.400
reacting to a debate that i saw on youtube and what i noticed is hold on guys um what i noticed
00:45:59.100
is oftentimes we think there's a big difference between conservative and liberal women and
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00:46:37.660
oh here okay so let me pull okay this is the debate I wanted to react to
00:46:50.420
know where I'm coming from on this and I'm very excited for this break this is our final episode
00:46:59.860
of season two so sit back relax and let's dive into one last member also for a second I'm going
00:47:05.540
to react to the youtube comments uh one says thanks pearl pearl for bringing on siff by the
00:47:12.180
way ai engineer was paid was by his wife to pay 2 400 per month per maintenance besides paying
00:47:20.260
360 000 one-time payment fazelle says jesse lee peterson says nothing about the truth if you guys
00:47:27.300
have a question comment or concern go to the audacitynetwork.com ten dollars a month 80 bucks
00:47:31.940
a year just be a part of the live chat thank you memorable opposing views discussion together and
00:47:36.420
it's a really good one you guys stay tuned for updates on what's coming next for season three
00:47:40.580
by hitting the subscribe button and the notification bell and until then thank you
00:47:44.260
for being part of this community welcome to the ellen fisher podcast thank you so much guys for
00:47:48.420
being here i am so looking forward to this conversation i have a bunch of really hot
00:47:53.140
topic questions to get into but before i do that i wanted you guys to share a little bit about
00:47:57.860
your story and what led you to being passionate about this topic. I'll ask you first.
00:48:02.980
Yeah, so right now I'm a physician, but when my content started and I started being a lot more
00:48:10.180
vocal about feminism, women's rights, kind of that whole sphere, it started because of the Texas SB8,
00:48:18.820
which was the six-week abortion ban. And I woke up one day as a med student at the time and just
00:48:26.980
like really frustrated and really angry about it and tiktok is the place that people go to vent
00:48:32.180
those kinds of opinions um and so i just was like you know what i have an opinion and i have to say
00:48:37.060
something and it was a good outlet um and that video went viral and i was not expecting it to
00:48:42.500
at all um because i didn't have a platform at all and so then i kind of just fed off of um comments
00:48:48.340
and interaction and i was like well i have opinions if y'all want to hear them and so then it kind of
00:48:53.940
just snowballed and now i'm really passionate about being as good as an advocate as i can be
00:48:58.820
awesome my name is isabel brown i am a full-time content creator and i host a live stream every
00:49:04.660
day where we talk about a whole host of issues not just women's related topics and conversations but
00:49:10.100
what's going on on tick tock politics uh religion dating the whole nine and i never expected that
00:49:16.260
this would be something i did for a career i too actually was pre-med way back in the day and have
00:49:20.260
a few degrees in biomedical sciences in graduate school more on the public policy side women in
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00:49:25.780
the process it's why you're watching women become so controversial in and of itself we have a supreme
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00:49:31.380
court justice in the united states who can't answer the question what is a woman you're watching
00:49:36.900
women's rights advocates claim that the best trajectory for women moving into the future
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is in fact disintegrating what we would understand women okay so i want you guys to pay attention
00:49:47.220
the non-feminists claim to care about family but they refuse to take away the incentives
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or argue about the incentives that are destroying the family they'll go back and forth about
00:50:01.860
abortion the men in the women's locker rooms all this bs that
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let's be honest abortions going nowhere the ladies did that to themselves the men in the
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women's locker rooms i mean the ladies they're the ones who push that so i don't feel bad at all
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00:50:22.680
but the innocent people here are the men that are victims of the family court system
00:50:30.200
and i'll be really surprised if they cover that at all womanhood to historically be heck you're
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00:50:38.700
even watching feminist movements applaud men taking over women's spaces and calling it
00:50:43.200
inclusivity in society rather than what it is which is just frankly misogyny so i wouldn't
00:50:48.640
necessarily identify with the post-modern fourth wave feminist movement we find ourselves in today
00:50:54.320
but feminism historically has done amazing work for women and truly brought us to the
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00:50:58.880
now the early feminists bombed places they were known as terrorists
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00:51:07.520
so a lot of times you hear the conservative commentators saying first wave feminism was
00:51:13.880
good second wave feminism was good well their entire goal was to destroy the nuclear family
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00:51:20.580
from the beginning um so what parts of early feminism were good right even playing field of
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00:51:30.100
equality that we get to live in every day as the status quo okay what about you so i would
00:51:35.840
absolutely identify as a feminist. And for me, feminism is about equal rights. It's about equal
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00:51:41.740
opportunity. And when you talk about fourth wave feminism, I specifically appreciate and when I
00:51:47.680
identify with fourth wave feminism, because I think it's essential to recognize that we are three
00:51:52.420
white privileged women sitting here having this conversation. And a really big part of fourth
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00:51:57.220
wave feminism is the recognition of intersectionality. And so sure, there might not be
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00:52:02.600
legal barriers to opportunities to us now, but there are still very much different prejudices
00:52:09.720
and stigmas against women, especially when it comes to being working moms and things like that.
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00:52:14.880
And when it comes to, again, different identities, when it comes to women of color,
00:52:19.900
women in poverty, it's recognizing that they also need to be supported and they also need
00:52:25.800
to be seen. And when it comes to things like our unpaid labor and unseen labor and mental load,
00:52:33.020
those are all things that fourth wave feminism is really trying to bring awareness to because
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00:52:37.040
it's so much easier to ignore. What do you think about that? That's an interesting thought. I'd be
00:52:42.040
curious to know how you are seeing these prejudices continue to exist against women,
00:52:46.620
if in fact they're not legally, structurally in place in America today. How are those
00:52:51.920
manifesting from your point of view? Yeah. So things like the gender wage gap. So women are
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00:52:57.800
still earning less than men with the same degrees, with the same positions. Women also get questioned
00:53:04.340
more often when they try to balance work and parenthood, things like that. When it comes to
00:53:09.600
just the opportunity to do what you want to do with your life, you want to have the same
00:53:13.360
opportunities as men, both financially and from the perspective of just like the societal appearance
00:53:19.540
of what you're choosing where men have a lot more freedom to not be constrained by gender norms when
00:53:26.180
it comes to their life choices if they don't want children or they don't want to be married
00:53:30.100
a lot of people don't question that a lot of people are just like yeah that makes sense
00:53:33.140
you know but when a woman chooses that there's a lot of that sort of stigma behind it of like oh
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00:53:38.420
well surely like you'll change your mind surely that's what everyone would want and so that's
00:53:43.220
what i mean when i say there's that stigma and there's that pressure pushing against women who
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want to go outside the traditional gender norms of what we would think women should want for ourselves
00:53:53.220
that's so interesting because truthfully i encounter the exact opposite in spending my
00:53:57.940
time online or on college campuses or with women's organizations if anything i think our postmodern
00:54:03.300
society has built a very strong stigma against traditional gender norms you look at every
00:54:08.820
headline in cosmopolitan magazine for example encouraging women to not have children to not
00:54:14.020
get married so notice the language the language is still society's making me do this it's almost
00:54:21.140
as if we're children right well society's shaming us for choosing this or society's encouraging us
00:54:29.540
to do this no nothing's stopping us three percent of gen z women are married and isabella you know
00:54:39.620
she just got married in her late 20s okay not wrong not wrong not good not bad but it's not
00:54:47.220
traditional right to be as promiscuous as possible and never to be committed
00:54:52.500
and the other girl i'm pretty sure she's engaged during a long-term living relationship i i don't
00:54:58.260
know her as well um i just know isabella's because i made um a spreadsheet collecting data from
00:55:05.060
conservative women to track if their age of marriage number of kids was any different than
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00:55:10.260
liberal and it's pretty much it's it's the same it's the same their personal dating relationships
00:55:18.100
uh the surgeon general of the united states of america a few weeks ago actually issued an
00:55:23.380
official declaration that parenting is theoretically hazardous for your health because it might make
00:55:29.620
you more lonely than if you never had children to begin with which was an odd train of thought to
00:55:34.660
begin with and not incredibly logical so you're watching the establishment media you're watching
00:55:40.020
establishment healthcare and physicians you're watching college campuses your favorite celebrities
00:55:45.300
hollywood influencers all strategically peddle this narrative for women that the only way to be
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00:55:51.060
an empowered enlightened woman in 2024 is to abandon tradition to abandon gender norms to
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abandon femininity in many ways uh and certainly to never get married or have children so that is
00:56:04.100
interesting that there is that tug of war still in america but i certainly think today gender norms
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00:56:09.620
are what the stigma happens to be rather than buffing gender i wish we could talk less in the
00:56:15.060
abstract and i could get more specifics right like what does that mean in real life
00:56:23.220
like what does that mean in your life like when were you pushed one way or another
00:56:28.820
who pushed you so okay let's say it was your school who picked the school
00:56:37.360
um you don't have to go to college right that's a choice
00:56:44.540
i understand maybe under 18 but after 18 it's you're an adult
00:56:52.100
your norms but it's interesting you bring up the gender wage gap you know this is a
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conversation we've had for years and years and years in the United States, and certainly historically
00:57:00.680
has been true decades and decades and decades ago. But there have been countless studies proving that
00:57:05.800
the gender pay gap does not exist when you account for different career choices, working full-time
00:57:11.140
versus part-time. The census data that typically accounts for this 84 cents on the dollar or 84%
00:57:16.500
figure even goes so far as to skew the numbers that teachers, first primary and secondary teachers
00:57:22.200
who are overwhelmingly three quarters female who work 38 weeks out of the year they do the math
00:57:27.480
that they work 52 weeks out of the year to make it seem like they're earning substantially less
00:57:32.040
money than men but that all is obviously so i understand there's a time and a place for data
00:57:40.520
i'm not saying i'm trying to be careful with my words i'm not saying data is wrong or bad to use
00:57:51.160
But when making a point, I always like to use real life examples that other people can
00:57:59.640
think about if they're true or not in their life. And the challenge we're going to get is she's
00:58:05.880
going to cite a study and it's going to say her point and the other woman's going to cite a study
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and it's going to say her point. And the challenge with data is a lot of times they get their funding
00:58:17.160
from either traditional conservative organizations. That's where you get all the Michael Knowles
00:58:23.800
Daily Wire stats that are pushing marriage, right? Because they're institutes that again,
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that's their thing. They're like Christian organization. Then the liberals, they have
00:58:36.120
their left leaning organizations. And if you get results that go against your ideology,
00:58:47.720
that's the challenge i have with data right i'm not saying it's bad or good we can look at each
00:58:53.960
study but i prefer to know how it's affected your life right really not true has been proven to be
00:59:02.200
wrong over and over again and interestingly is statistically dramatically changing because when
00:59:07.400
you look at the careers women are choosing in the norms of 2024 let's look at medicine for example
00:59:13.080
you're a physician a first year resident historically in the 1960s only eight percent
00:59:17.640
of med students were females today over 50 percent of medical students are females and that's
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00:59:23.320
terrifying that's terrifying that's i'm bad i'm not saying medicine's gonna go downhill i'm not
00:59:39.080
going to say that because i can't i'm not i'm not youtube i am not saying that i'm not saying i am
00:59:51.560
not that is not what i'm saying i'm just going to continue that's positions are statistically
01:00:01.400
the highest paid consistent employment in the united states today medical students include
01:00:06.200
nursing and tax how did i know how did i know there was some catch i
01:00:13.240
i'm not going to say it look how great the health care system is now
01:00:18.440
i didn't say that i just read a comment okay all i did was read a comment i did not say that
01:00:27.400
yeah so i've actually read the complete opposite studies from the studies that i've read
01:00:31.080
specifically when people men and women are in the same role so a managerial
01:00:36.900
role or supervising role women make less than men in the exact same roles same
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01:00:41.140
with people who have advanced degrees so masters or doctorates women who have
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01:00:44.900
the same degrees as men will statistically make less money than men
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01:00:48.540
with those same degrees so we're reading different studies and living in
01:00:51.460
different realities it seems but when I want to really go back to what you were
01:00:56.440
saying about the media and everyone pushing women to not get married and
01:01:00.900
not have children and demonizing this sense of tradition. And to be clear, I'm pro-choice in
01:01:07.360
all different ways. And I believe when I see the media pushing these things, I don't see it
01:01:12.560
demonizing the traditional way of life. I don't see it demonizing, you know, people who want to
01:01:17.720
homeschool or who want to be stay-at-home moms. I see it as them opening the, you know, opportunities
01:01:23.480
for women to choose what they want to do. Because historically, women have been told that if you
1.00
01:01:28.820
don't want to be a stay-at-home mom if you don't want to dedicate your entire life and being to
01:01:33.140
your children and family then you are wrong and you're going to be unhappy and so now the media
01:01:37.380
is kind of swinging that pendulum which like admittedly pendulums swing a little bit too far
01:01:41.860
before they normalize right and i'm not saying i have anything wrong with it but i think that
01:01:46.100
what the media and what okay this idea that things are gonna swing back it's them selling you hope
01:01:56.100
and that's a whole business it's selling you hope right no usually trends just continue
01:02:05.060
and if they're not going to continue there's generally indications that it's going to go the
01:02:11.860
other way i know there's a lot of women in dresses cooking in the kitchen now on social media but
1.00
01:02:21.620
and the other thing they're not taking into account is in the united states 90 percent of
01:02:30.220
people were farmers up until the 1900s like it i actually have it on here hold on i pulled this up
01:02:40.740
earlier um so i don't know what they keep saying that you know they supported men's dreams or
01:02:49.220
whatever you know I don't think most of men's dreams was to be a farmer because the day they
01:02:55.680
got the option to not be farmers a lot of men said I'm not doing that anymore so that's the
01:03:04.760
detail they keep skipping over is that you know yes the women stayed home with the kids
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01:03:22.280
like his other option was factory worker and coal miner.
01:03:42.300
people are really trying to portray is that you do not have to fall into this historical role
01:03:53.620
you can date around you can choose to not get married you can choose to not have kids
01:03:58.460
and all of those things are valid and for the longest part of history women were seeing the
01:04:03.780
exact opposite messaging we're encouraged to you know marry whoever and have kids because that's
01:04:09.300
makes you happy and a lot of our grandmothers and mothers were like oh guess what it didn't make me
01:04:14.340
happy and they're encouraging the younger generation now this is something that conservatives
01:04:20.420
think is untrue when they say my mother and grandmother um told me or the the women of the
01:04:30.420
past weren't as happy as they say i have to agree with them and i'll tell you why so when i was doing
01:04:39.220
my shows i would get people that came from seemingly more traditional countries um
01:04:47.540
nigeria was one i could think of zimbabwe is another um
01:04:53.460
countries that were a little bit more traditional say than the west as we saw before
01:05:00.980
gyno centrism is a problem among everywhere but one thing that i often heard from
01:05:09.220
the daughters that migrated to the UK because a lot of immigrants came to the UK in the last like
01:05:15.800
50 years so a lot of them were second generation they would tell me that the reason that they chose
01:05:24.420
to go to school and not prioritize marriage was because their mother told them not to
01:05:29.520
and I just heard that too many times from women that didn't know each other the mothers would be
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01:05:35.540
married 30 40 50 years and they would still tell their daughters to wait to get married or not to
01:05:41.340
do it at all uh so what am i supposed to do with that i don't know i i don't think that's like a
01:05:48.700
nice conclusion i think a lot more women trashed their husbands than we like to admit but it kind
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01:05:55.020
of lines up with what we're seeing now i don't think people of the past were so different than
01:05:59.260
the people of today there's just more incentives and choice now so yeah okay I'm gonna keep going
01:06:08.460
to make whatever choices make them happy that's an interesting perspective namely because
01:06:15.620
statistically even today married women with children are overwhelmingly self-reporting
01:06:19.960
themselves to be the happiest in society we're over correcting in so many ways for maybe
01:06:25.520
potentially flawed narratives of the past or incomplete narratives of the now again i gotta
01:06:33.140
look at choices i don't think women are as monogamous as we once thought and the reason i
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01:06:40.960
think that is because the second that women got to choose non-monogamy too many women chose it
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01:06:46.720
you know if you pull men and women on if waiting till marriage for example is important to them
01:06:54.580
more men rank that as important than women. So are married women with children the happiest?
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01:07:06.580
Probably, but it doesn't really, I don't think that stat shows fully because you're not taking
01:07:19.660
into account the women that were married and had children and chose to leave, right? Like
01:07:24.380
divorcees so it's almost like a cheater stat i don't i don't know i don't know if i'm making
01:07:29.420
sense but okay the past which we call a pendulum shift but honestly looks a whole lot more like
01:07:34.860
propaganda to me when we're inventing and this is the thing they both have propaganda they both do
01:07:40.220
the right and the left it's equal okay the left has a little bit more pull so you know the left
01:07:45.900
does more but the right wants men to get married and they want men to fix society because again
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01:07:54.040
it scares them what they're going to do with all these single women and if men don't keep
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01:07:59.820
taking bad deals society will fall apart you know if men are treated poorly by the military let's
01:08:08.000
say and enough men say you know what I'm not doing this that becomes a problem for everybody
01:08:12.760
if men say you know what i'm not getting married anymore well that becomes a problem for businesses
01:08:20.000
because women love to spend so men make the money women spend it this isn't even discounted because
01:08:27.340
we have tiktoks of men and women saying my money is my money his money is our money
01:08:33.260
so this isn't even discounted right then on top of that politicians need the birth rate to come up
01:08:41.600
they don't know what to do if men say you know what i'm not having kids with these ladies they're
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01:08:47.700
terrified so both sides have incentive to lie realities that don't reflect indicative in normal
01:08:58.280
society the family stability society i can't remember the exact group that ran this study but
01:09:03.900
from 2023 found that 40 percent of women who are married with children self-report their lives to
01:09:09.960
be incredibly overwhelmingly happy. Only 22% of unmarried women with children feel the exact
01:09:15.740
same way. So, well, and the question I have is at what age, at what age are they pulling the women?
01:09:25.240
Because a 25 year old hot woman, I can't think of anybody on the planet that has a better life.
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01:09:30.880
a 55 year old ex hot women woman I can't think of anybody else that has a worse life because she
1.00
01:09:40.480
had that amazing life and now it's gone forever and she'll never get it back
01:09:44.560
it's not really manifesting in society the exact same way that we're seeing overwhelmingly portrayed
01:09:50.800
in these headlines in movies and tv shows and studies conducted by academia and what's said
01:09:55.800
by presidential candidates of the United States so it seems to me this isn't so much of a societal
01:10:00.840
pendulum shift as it is an overwhelming narrative that is being pushed onto the next generation to
01:10:07.180
convince them hey i know this is what's being proven in society this is probably what's going
01:10:12.160
to make you happy just because that's how we've done things in the past we can never consider
01:10:16.200
that moving into the future because we have to be progressive for the sake of being progressive
01:10:20.260
trust me we can all use a little support when it comes yeah you are not plugging your ad on my
01:10:25.660
stream hell no we're reading different statistics because again i've read many statistics that show
01:10:38.860
this is why i don't love statistics because they're going to go back and forth my stats
01:10:45.740
your stats how did you conduct this study i prefer good faith conversations about what
01:10:52.620
we've seen in our actual lives so you know my question is are your parents married and are they
01:10:58.780
happy did you have friends growing up are they still married and are they happy did they have
01:11:04.300
a relationship that you would want now does everyone want to answer that honestly on camera
01:11:12.620
i don't know but yeah data can be manipulated and what generalizations do people which i can't make
01:11:21.180
on youtube um can people relate to you know what generalizations can we make and people say oh i
01:11:29.580
relate with that who give birth are more likely to suffer from mental health conditions than women
01:11:37.260
who do not because it is more of a stressor there's all of that unpaid work unpaid labor
01:11:43.740
and unseen mental load that women have to carry and we also have to look at the way that these
1.00
01:11:48.300
surveys are asked because a lot of times the questions that are asked are asked in a certain
01:11:52.060
way that want to get a certain answer from you and if you don't believe me right look at all
01:11:58.860
the traditional conservatives on twitter begging lily to find god the stuff is biased right both
01:12:11.020
ways you um but i think again when you see progression and you see progressive ideas
01:12:18.140
you see it as people pushing that idea as the only correct way where i just view it differently i see
01:12:23.340
it as opening up opportunities for people and recognizing that all of these different ways of
01:12:28.380
life are valid and again through history like historically women have been given these very
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01:12:34.940
narrow options and told and when we talk about propaganda right i see that as propaganda i see
01:12:40.620
it as propaganda to say that you will not be happy unless you have a family and children because for
01:12:45.260
a lot of people that is not true and that's also not necessarily a choice if you don't meet the
01:12:49.420
right person or you get stuck with the wrong person you know it's it doesn't necessarily mean
01:12:54.540
that you are going to be happy and so many of our mothers and grandmothers have told us this
01:12:59.980
did not make me happy it wasn't the marriage itself it was the person so ensure that you are
01:13:05.260
you know aiming for an equal partnership and what we found out about us ladies when feminism birth
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01:13:12.940
control no fault divorce was that women do not like average men as much as we used to think
01:13:20.300
when you take out money unfortunately the sexes go apart when you give women all the choice in the
1.00
01:13:28.060
world we have a tendency to choose to be by our dang selves i i don't make the rules i didn't
01:13:35.020
make this world okay but all the data that's what it indicates and you know make sure that you are
01:13:42.460
choosing your partner wisely because women have not been given that opportunity women have not been
01:13:48.220
you know encouraged to really make those intentional choices it's always been about
01:13:52.860
checking a box instead of living life intentionally yeah and look i think the spectrum of human
01:13:58.460
happiness obviously is a subjective conversation to have it depends on the individual it certainly
01:14:03.500
depends on one and that's the other thing i don't like is um in one day i could feel happy in the
01:14:11.500
morning and mad at night so am i happy person or an unhappy person um like happiness is a feeling
01:14:22.140
i don't think it's a state so i don't really like studies that use happiness because how do you
01:14:30.940
measure it um and like what does that even mean circumstances i hope joy is something people
01:14:42.140
continue to choose no matter what their circumstances are but that speaks more largely
01:14:45.740
to the mental health of our population what i what i do have a problem with is not the expectation
01:14:50.620
that people can make different decisions for their life based on their individual circumstances or
01:14:55.420
their own personal autonomy. It's this idea that the narrative we are being pushed every single
01:15:01.600
day by the machine, whatever you want to call that, government, healthcare, media, and everything
01:15:07.320
in between seems to be overwhelmingly convincing you in whatever way, shape, or form that what we
01:15:14.640
understand to be traditionalism is wrong, that marriage is wrong. In fact, having children is
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01:15:21.380
wrong. We're sitting here in Los Angeles filming the Los Angeles Times a few weeks ago, had a
01:15:26.020
headline saying you are an inherently selfish person if you want to have a child. And they
01:15:31.240
were making this claim through the lens of climate change. But I can't tell you how many headlines I
01:15:35.800
see every single day with statistics and data and evidence from the experts that you are a bad person
01:15:42.780
if you want to get married if you want to have children if you want to go through this journey
01:15:47.580
of traditionalism that we often scorn at in postmodern it's i don't want to bring morality
01:15:54.420
into this it's not bad or good it is just statistically not going to be an option for
01:16:01.500
the majority of people because even now only 20 of couples are married with kids
01:16:09.500
that trend seems like it's going to get worse not better I don't want to say worse but like
01:16:20.460
it's going to continue going that way there's no data that indicates it's going any other way
01:16:26.020
so anybody that's saying that's an option for most people is selling dreams that's what they're
01:16:34.120
doing. And I think it's tough because it's tough to accept, right? Because that's what we've seen
01:16:43.080
on TV. That's what we grew up around. But the world is changing. Unfortunately, the cat's out
01:16:49.480
of the bottle. I don't see anything that indicates it's going the other way. I see zero evidence to
01:16:55.440
indicate it's going to go that way not this way okay um rob said i can't say there's a certain
01:17:04.980
someone who isn't as bright as men not gonna say it um i can't rob also said on the website which
01:17:11.980
if you guys want to comment um question comment or concern you go to the audacity network.com
01:17:17.200
links in the description 10 bucks a month 80 bucks a year you get me to read your comments
01:17:21.320
during shows rob says i knew a coal miner that later became a medical transcriber i worked with
01:17:28.120
residents and nurses almost continuously specifics are important alexander said the dadvocate and
01:17:34.340
roma army said on stream they would be fine with porn stars and of chicks becoming the teacher of
01:17:39.620
their kids because they wouldn't want to judge a woman based on her sexual history even some of
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01:17:43.680
the most based women in the space still have feminist tendencies modern society because it's
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01:17:49.200
viewed as the opposite of progressivism when in reality that's just not making people happy we're
01:17:53.920
in the midst of the biggest mental health crisis of all time in western society certainly within
01:17:59.680
the context of gen z and for the first time ever young women are actually struggling with more
01:18:04.480
mental health conditions okay notice right there they she took a man's problem and made it about
1.00
01:18:14.880
women. If I Google, who commits suicide more, teenage men or women?
01:18:23.760
Males die by suicide more frequently. This discrepancy is known as the gender paradox
01:18:30.400
in suicide. So again, you have both women, right? One's claiming traditionalism,
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01:18:38.560
but they make all of the problems that affect men they make about women they completely do it so
01:18:46.180
if there's a men's mental health crisis it's what about women's issues and young men they are
01:18:52.760
statistically much more likely to be anxious to be depressed the CDC found that in 2021 one in
01:18:58.300
three teenage girls seriously contemplated taking her own life I want to see how bad the discrepancy
01:19:04.460
is because male versus female men make up 80 percent of suicides we're talking about women's
01:19:16.500
mental health 80 percent of suicides and we're saying but women have the mental health issues
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01:19:24.320
it's women women women like it drives me nuts drives me crazy and it's so and I don't like
1.00
01:19:30.980
she probably just memorizes talking points i don't i don't know how much like in debt like the stuff
01:19:36.740
she's saying is stuff i've heard like in conservative media for 10 years so i don't know
01:19:42.500
how in-depth she's gone on this stuff but again if conservatives really cared about traditionalism
01:19:50.180
they would get rid of the systems that punish men for being traditional they would and that
01:19:55.140
would be their number one issue but they do not care about it they don't because they spend a
01:20:00.980
million hours talking about men and women's sports abortion all this white noise that distracts from
01:20:11.380
the real issues because they make money off of women so you have to pander and say oh but women's
1.00
01:20:20.500
mental health women's because the female even conservatives get paid by women
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01:20:27.300
i'd have a million subscribers on the you know i would have a billion subscribers on the website
01:20:32.340
if i just pandered to women you guys are lucky i have integrity because if i steve harveyed it
01:20:38.900
oh my gosh you would be rich you would be rich hard for me to wrestle with this idea that we
01:20:46.660
claim to live in the most progressive society in human history where anything is possible and you
01:20:51.460
can do whatever you want and there are no consequences to your actions and you can make
01:20:55.460
your life brick by brick exactly what you want it to be yet we're devoiding society of purpose
01:21:01.300
and meaning and fulfillment entirely which is why we end up feeling so lost now all right you go
01:21:07.060
ahead and reply then i have another question for you guys yeah so i actually disagree that we're
01:21:11.300
devoid of purpose because i think the entire purpose of deviating from this idea that motherhood
01:21:18.660
and wifehood are the key identifiers of a woman i feel like that is what devoids women of purpose
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01:21:25.460
and this idea that you can achieve whatever you want and you can be whatever you want is the
01:21:30.420
intention of that is to help women find their purpose because so many people had to put their
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01:21:34.580
dreams and desires aside to lift up the men in their life and now we're saying no we want they
01:21:40.820
were farmers coal miners and factory workers i think by the 1940s 40 percent of men were factory
01:21:49.540
workers but 1800s at one point 90 percent of men were farmers
01:21:59.860
i think we see i think we see things on tv sometimes and we just think all the
01:22:04.900
like a man's life is just easy they just put on a suit go to work wolf of wall street it
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01:22:13.140
but they gotta stop giving us movies they gotta we we see the movies and we just we think it's
01:22:20.340
nothing that the men just go to work don't do anything and get a bunch of money and
01:22:27.860
status yeah the opportunity and we want to find our own purpose and that doesn't always have to be
01:22:33.620
motherhood and wifehood okay if anything if i learned anything from interviewing a thousand
01:22:39.940
women it's that there's a ton of women that absolutely should not have children absolutely
1.00
01:22:45.940
not you're telling me that woman that had sex with a thousand men conservatives driving me nuts
1.00
01:22:52.580
sometimes you're telling me you want her to have children like that would be a good idea
1.00
01:23:04.580
maybe if she didn't do the sex work but now no no no there's a lot there i feel like there's
01:23:14.580
so many things i wanted to ask within you guys going back and forth but real quick going back
01:23:18.660
to the gender pay gap have any of these studies that you either of you read had anything to do
01:23:23.060
with um a woman who might be less likely to ask for a raise than a man i've read something about
01:23:29.220
that what are your thoughts on that yeah i'm so glad you asked so the harvard business review
01:23:33.380
actually did a study where they found that women who requested a higher or an increase in their
01:23:39.600
wages were seen as less likable and more aggressive than men at the same companies asking for the same
01:23:45.820
thing. See, the men don't care if they're seen as not likable or aggressive. They're going to ask.
01:23:54.720
They were therefore less likely to be granted that pay increase and less likely to be given
01:23:59.100
promotions and so you can see in that culture how women would then be discouraged from asking
01:24:04.860
because then you're seen as less likable and it's going to create more hostility in the workplace
01:24:09.180
which is unpleasant and so that's reducing women's opportunities for growth what are your thoughts on
01:24:14.620
that i just think it's not quite indicative of what we're seeing with patterns in society today
01:24:19.660
women are statistically much more likely to seek out a college degree today they are overwhelmingly
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01:24:24.140
the majority of college students and graduates women are twice as likely according to some
0.99
01:24:28.540
studies to be hired for the same job as men and twice as likely to be promoted for the same job
01:24:33.660
as men within the same company depending on which studies you're looking at so
01:24:37.660
the problem with statistics and evidence is that it doesn't really tell the whole picture right
01:24:41.740
and i think that's exactly what we're seeing with this idea of the gender pay gap you can
01:24:46.300
certainly find a company that might be men make 80 percent of the world's stuff
01:24:52.060
80 percent of the food supply they run the entire infrastructure women only have 20
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01:25:02.540
of infrastructure jobs and that even includes the women holding the flags at construction sites they
1.00
01:25:09.100
count they count uh paying their female employees less than men which would be a horrible practice
0.98
01:25:20.620
but that's not accounting for the general societal trends of women taking more time off of work
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01:25:25.600
because they're having children and embracing maternity leave. Maybe they leave their job for
0.99
01:25:29.640
a few years and end up coming back. They might work in a job, as I mentioned earlier, like a
01:25:33.460
teacher that doesn't work 52 weeks out of the year. So if you're dividing their annual salary
01:25:37.540
of 38 weeks by 52 weeks, of course, that's going to look abhorrently low. When in reality,
01:25:43.680
mathematicians and economists have proven over and over and over again, when you account for
01:25:47.860
job of choice, when you account for educational field of choice historically, which is dramatically
01:25:52.780
changing today in the 2020s, and when you account for potential time off from maternity leave or
01:25:57.500
taking a sabbatical from work, there is no such thing as the gender pay gap. And if there were,
0.98
01:26:02.820
why wouldn't every company in the United States only be hiring women if we live in this evil
1.00
01:26:07.060
capitalistic society where these evil bosses want to make so much more money and withhold that from
01:26:12.360
their employees, which I hear all the time? Why wouldn't we only be hiring women to save companies
1.00
01:26:17.780
and ceos that much more money in the process yeah what do you think about that that's an interesting
01:26:22.900
perspective yeah and again we're reading completely different studies going back and forth yeah we
01:26:27.620
don't have like a specific study to bring which is a problem in and of itself right i often say
01:26:32.180
in 2024 america we're living in two different americas and we're watching society really rip
01:26:37.700
in half between one reality and another reality often along the lines of red states and blue
01:26:42.260
states i think it's inarguable that that's the reality we live in but that's the problem with
01:26:47.380
our society being devoid of objective truth right it's why i do what i do every day when we lack an
01:26:53.060
objective standard for what is real and what is not because my truth is different from your truth
01:26:57.300
in society all of a sudden anything is true anything can be proven anything has data and
01:27:02.500
statistics behind it and we lack the opportunity to have real meaningful conversations about what's
01:27:07.140
best for humanity yeah and i do want to say too when you mention things like teachers it is true
01:27:12.820
that when we look at a broad scope of women's careers versus men's careers especially
01:27:18.740
historically women do um again they're pushed into it and so now we have more opportunity but
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01:27:25.940
women were typically secretaries nurses teachers and fields that were female dominated were
0.99
01:27:33.860
underpaid and what time period i think they're talking about the 1900s and continue to be
01:27:41.860
underpaid because they're female dominated there's a principle called male flight that when more
0.97
01:27:47.780
women enter into a career field men leave and then the wages for that for that position tend
1.00
01:27:55.220
to either stagnate they don't continue to increase as the as in oh i want to say something but i can't
01:28:04.500
i can't okay let me just let me think so she said your study says that when women go into a career
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01:28:10.180
field men leave and the wages don't increase is it possible that they don't do as good of a job
01:28:21.220
not all not all not all inflation in the years increase or they decrease because women are now
1.00
01:28:26.580
in those positions and so we have to account for i wish i was there because i i i just i could see
01:28:36.420
your face if i said yeah because they do a worse job it would be really funny it would be really
01:28:41.540
funny like you said maternity leave we have to account for all these things when we're looking
01:28:45.300
at the gender pay gap there are statistics that show equal degrees equal positions they're paid
01:28:49.940
differently but also from a more broader societal perspective women have found themselves in
01:28:55.540
positions that are compensated less because they're seen as lesser than okay so i want to go
01:29:01.860
to this topic of purpose women freedom of choice you mentioned something about women not finding
01:29:08.420
their purpose to be motherhood or being wise but i have a feeling at least from my own lived
01:29:13.460
experience that motherhood and being married to my husband is the most what age what age did you do
01:29:19.220
it i mean that would be my question because it's one thing to say that right but if that was your
01:29:25.780
number one choice you would have did it first not saying right or wrong
01:29:33.700
what age i i don't know this commentator in the middle most important thing i've
01:29:38.180
ever done far more valuable being a mother than this podcast let's just be real i love
01:29:42.580
this podcast but it's nowhere near compares to being a mother so i imagine people listening
01:29:47.780
who are mothers i i would think people might want to discuss this together about that based
01:29:52.500
on something you brought up so why don't you elaborate a little more on that and then you can
01:29:55.380
respond yeah absolutely so again this is all about choice i think that the whole point is realizing
01:30:01.540
that both choices are valid and everything is going to be different for every woman because
01:30:05.700
we're so unique and we're so individual and motherhood and being a wife can be incredibly
01:30:11.460
fulfilling which is why i'm pro-choice in all ways of life because i don't think that it is my
01:30:17.860
ability i don't think that it is my responsibility or that i even have the ability to say what will
01:30:22.820
make you happy or what will make you happy which is why we should all have equal opportunity and
01:30:26.820
respect everyone's choices to do either to be a traditional wife and mother to do a little bit of
01:30:31.780
the in-between or to be a full-on career woman i think all of those are valid for different women
01:30:37.300
you mentioned earlier something that stuck with me that embracing marriage or motherhood in the
01:30:42.740
past for our mothers and grandmothers was elevating the men in their life rather than
01:30:47.540
putting themselves first can you elaborate on that yeah absolutely so typically women were
1.00
01:30:53.700
encouraged to stay home take care of the house take care of the kids while their husband father
01:30:59.780
the father of their children you know went after their dreams they went after the promotions they
01:31:05.780
dedicated their life to work and whatever farming coal mining factory worker
01:31:12.740
i mean when i googled it that's what it said the job options were back then i don't
01:31:20.100
what dreams you had to be born into a royal family
01:31:25.660
a peasant what was the a welder i don't for their passion was and whatever their purpose was
01:31:37.480
and so women's jobs weren't necessarily to discover what their purpose and their passions are if it
1.00
01:31:43.500
was if it happened to be outside of motherhood and wifehood it was instead to be like we'll just
01:31:47.840
encourage him to do what he needs to do and you pick up all the pieces while he's out there do
01:31:52.160
you think that's still true today that marriage is inherently elevating men or motherhood is
01:31:56.660
inherently riley reed got marriage or sorry riley reed got married it's done there's no
01:32:04.680
nala got married you guys conservatives you let everybody in and you ruined it i don't know what
01:32:12.100
to tell you you know you simped for women um you believed all these abuse claims
01:32:19.380
you believed the hoes that came into church and said they were born again
1.00
01:32:25.600
um no one was shocked that the divorce rate today if you look at the divorce stats
01:32:32.320
it's not different for people that are christian catholic it's all the same or or similar
01:32:38.840
so congratulations it's dead the average marriage is eight years
01:32:47.460
if if you make it work you're the exception you're not the rule i hope you do
01:32:54.360
i really do i wouldn't bet on it if i was a betting woman elevating men yeah absolutely
01:33:00.680
And there are statistics that show that even when women and men in the same households are working the same amount of hours, they're both full-time working parents, men or women will be more likely to be in charge of the kids' schedules, do all of the housework, and have more of that mental load of the household.
01:33:18.220
So even when in our modern society where really economically people, families can't, a lot of us can't be single income, we have to be dual income, a lot of that load still lands on the woman and there's very, there's a domestic labor gap.
1.00
01:33:32.860
I think that follows with what young women are being told today, that marriage and motherhood is never something that you should pursue because it's going to be a
01:33:39.220
Our choosing, our choosing, our choosing, our choosing, our choosing, our choosing.
01:33:44.600
mental load on you it's going to bring stress and hardship and negativity to your life which
01:33:49.640
obviously manifests in the trends that we're seeing societally you know we have the lowest
01:33:53.960
marriage rate right now since we began recording marriage rates in 1867 and we hit an all-time low
01:34:00.360
in the last 100 years fertility rate in 2020 to the point that convincing that you are going to
01:34:05.800
be miserable when you tie the knot and spend the rest of your life with one individual that's
01:34:10.520
echoed through every single headline and viral social media video that we see at the exact same
01:34:14.920
time and even more so the life is going to be sucked out of you if you bring more life into
01:34:20.120
the world but that's been proven to be the opposite over and over and over again through
01:34:25.160
every generation the overwhelmingly happiest people in society who self-report the most
01:34:30.760
purpose the most meaning the most fulfillment in their life are mothers and wives so how do
01:34:35.880
you reconcile the difference between that yeah again depends on the studies that you look at
01:34:40.360
and i i mean you guys can just go on tick tock and you find both women treat tick tock like
01:34:46.520
their diary you'll find ladies that say oh i'm super happy trad life then you find women
01:34:52.760
complaining about their husband then divorce like i'm not discounting that the people that stay
01:35:00.360
married are the happiest could be but you got to get the state like choices reveal more
01:35:09.560
than what people say choices are going to reveal the most so but the the challenge is we can't make
01:35:18.520
free choices when the state is holding a gun to the men's head and making them stay
0.56
01:35:25.480
recognize you continue to use this word never women are told that they should never get married
01:35:30.520
and never have children and i i push back on that because i disagree again i think the idea
01:35:36.120
is encouraging choice encouraging intentional choice is this really the person you want to be
01:35:41.560
with is this someone you can see as a partner is this is being a mother something that you
01:35:46.760
couldn't imagine your life without women are not being told to never do those things
0.78
01:35:53.160
we're being told they are quite frequently actually not by you perhaps but by many many
01:35:57.400
people in society many of the most again they're being told being i'm just so over it
01:36:06.120
I'm so over women blaming society that caters to women
1.00
01:36:13.800
that we're being told by society which caters to us anyways
01:36:20.020
that we're being they make it sound like we're groomed into the choices we make
01:36:25.440
I mean how many people told the girl that had sex with a thousand men
01:36:30.700
a hundred men don't make that choice okay so that's all i got for you guys today
01:36:37.500
i just thought this debate was interesting i wanted to react to it let me know what you guys
01:36:42.940
think and if you like it i'll do more tomorrow if not i'll pick something else um like the video on
01:36:48.100
your way out and subscribe to the channel and bring that notification bell um like the video
01:36:52.740
on your way out and go to the audacitynetwork.com um i'm actually going to show you guys our merch
01:36:59.120
to before we go give me give me some feedback on these because I wasn't I was trying to debate
01:37:07.980
what kind of merch to do and so I just picked like tweets of mine that went viral so on the left we
01:37:13.600
got equal rights equal lefts it's just pearlymerch.com make men valuable again I just was
01:37:21.480
trying to play on the MAGA you know and I meant like valuable to society like have society value
01:37:28.580
men again but um the next one why lie she'll complain anyway I just thought it was funny
01:37:36.020
the other one I can't read on YouTube so you know you just gotta go see that for yourself
01:37:41.060
anyways guys like the video thanks for tuning in for another episode of Pearl Daily and I'll
01:37:45.920
see you guys tomorrow at three o'clock central bye-bye