Pearl - June 27, 2026


Man Gives The Worst Answers To ＂Should a Mormon Woman Obey Her Husband？


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

190.59

Word count

2,196

Sentence count

55

Harmful content

Misogyny

6

sentences flagged

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the role of women in our society and how they should or should not obey their husbands. Who is responsible for providing for the family? Who should be the primary breadwinner and who should provide the breadwinner? Is it up to one person or the other?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 It's not that Eve made a mistake and caused the fall of Adam. 0.89
00:00:04.580 A lot of Christian sexism is rooted in that.
00:00:09.900 But rather, we believe that what Eve did was actually a brave and necessary choice.
00:00:15.220 Hi, I'm Pearl. Nice to meet you.
00:00:17.560 So I go to different churches and ask what they believe about obedience.
00:00:20.740 No right or wrong answers, but I'd love to get your thoughts on what you guys believe here.
00:00:24.960 That if women should obey their husbands.
00:00:26.920 and no right or wrong answers tell us yes why or why not yeah uh no and i think um
00:00:32.680 the nature of the question is to admit like you know you'd expect a christian to be like oh yeah
00:00:39.560 but um or at least like today's christians a lot of them um at least the loud ones you hear but uh
00:00:46.700 no i i think in our church at least um this is our belief now i i'm speaking as a member so i
00:00:53.640 can't speak for everybody, but no, it's, it's an equal partnership. Um, a lot of what we believe
00:00:59.880 is that, um, a marriage is meant to make both of you better. Um, and it's not meant for one to be
00:01:06.100 domineering or, or, uh, wants it to be submissive to the other. I think it's, um, you know, it's,
00:01:13.940 it's an equal partnership. I mean, for my marriage, you know, I, it's not like whatever
00:01:18.920 I say goes or whatever my wife says goes I mean she's right a lot but um I think it's just you
00:01:25.860 work together and you you try your best to agree on things um and I think that's a lot of what our
00:01:33.160 church teaches um is is you know you guys are working together like it's not a it's not being
00:01:40.980 submissive and I the one thing our our church has struggled with is the the idea of the priesthood
00:01:46.380 And sometimes that has been used as a means to kind of force a kind of sexist, you know, misogynist view on things.
00:01:59.700 But I don't think that, like, if you really dig deep in our doctrine, that doesn't really have a lot of basis.
00:02:04.500 Who is responsible for protecting the family?
00:02:08.260 Protecting the family?
00:02:10.160 I don't know if that's necessarily, like, I don't know.
00:02:14.760 I'm trying to think of, like, our doctrine.
00:02:16.380 I mean traditionally I guess the man but I don't like it's up to both people like if my if there's
00:02:25.100 an intruder and I'm dead or something it's not like my wife's gonna be like hey my husband's
00:02:30.140 dead I can't protect the family because it's not my job you know like I don't I don't really believe
00:02:33.620 in that I think like now we have guns so they can both do it right yeah exactly yeah yeah exactly
00:02:39.520 so what about providing do you guys believe that it's the man's duty to provide or it should be
00:02:43.880 both of them um no i i it's i i don't believe that i i will like i'm pretty progressive um but
00:02:52.780 i you know ask 10 other people in our church you might get different answers but i think for most
00:02:57.740 people no like i i don't think it's necessarily like the man's duty to provide i think one at
00:03:03.280 least one needs to provide someone needs to pick up like the family's got to eat so someone's got
00:03:07.360 to do it i don't think it necessarily needs to be the man um don't you think in a relationship
00:03:11.440 though, one person's always obeying the other, uh, because, uh, generally speaking, um, you know,
00:03:17.440 there's a reason we have phrases like she wears the pants or he wears the pants because one person
00:03:22.520 does have to give in more than the other. Yeah. Would you agree with that or disagree? Um, I think
00:03:26.740 that tends to happen. Um, I think when you have two people, one tends to be more domineering than
00:03:31.640 the other. Um, I think that shouldn't be the case if it is, I think you both should work to a place
00:03:38.540 where you're both, um, being, uh, open and, and not, you know, I just, I don't really believe in
00:03:46.480 that dynamic. I don't think it should be strive for. It may happen, but I think you both should
00:03:50.460 be open. I've just never seen a couple that where one person doesn't, you know, have more authority.
00:03:55.680 You don't agree? No, I definitely, I'm saying in practice, yes, that happens all the time. Um,
00:04:00.080 and sometimes like it may be a necessity if, if, if mom is at working a lot or, or dad is at
00:04:06.560 working a lot um you know the the parent that is home may need to be more domineering just to
00:04:12.600 handle on the kids um and i think that definitely shakes out but i don't think it's an ideal like
00:04:18.380 i think both people should be open so in your relationship um is there one of you that makes
00:04:22.480 more decisions than the other would you say it's equal um i it i'm i'm probably idealizing our
00:04:28.760 relationship but yeah maybe like you could give me specifics like finances you make okay here's
00:04:34.620 how here's how me and my wife split it i handle finances um so i i work full-time she's a stay-at-home
00:04:39.320 mom i also work from home which helps i handle finances uh she handles a lot of like the meal 0.76
00:04:44.140 planning i still cook but like she does meal planning and a lot of just like trip planning
00:04:48.600 and stuff um i handle like housework yard work um car stuff like i'll do our oil changes and all
00:04:55.440 that um uh you know we both kind of equally parent she's obviously a stay-at-home mom so
00:05:00.860 time spent is more her um but i'm still very like present and active so um yeah we kind of split up
00:05:08.320 and if you told her no on something would she listen and vice versa like if um yeah um she
00:05:14.020 definitely would there's some things that i'm like she would she would listen but be like this
00:05:18.680 is kind of dumb but like it's okay reluctantly yeah reluctantly sure and i've done the same
00:05:23.220 um but yeah i'd say so how do you guys feel about female-led bible studies here are those okay 0.97
00:05:29.440 Yeah, we actually...
00:05:30.840 We go to different churches.
00:05:31.980 No, you're good.
00:05:32.920 No, we actually have, like, one of our classes that we do every week.
00:05:37.660 It's called Relief Society.
00:05:39.560 And it's women-led. 0.87
00:05:40.540 It's all women. 1.00
00:05:42.400 And women, actually, they just changed the rule that women can be the... 1.00
00:05:46.580 It's called the Sunday School President, 1.00
00:05:48.020 which basically means they can lead as...
00:05:51.720 There can be female leaders of, like, the teaching kind of callings in our church. 0.99
00:05:56.260 so like they can kind of organize how do we teach in our church how do we um uh like how do we 1.00
00:06:03.660 organize classes what do we like what kind of lessons do we do so stuff like that what would
00:06:07.320 you say are the biggest misconceptions about this church oh misconceptions um it's a really good one
00:06:13.140 i think uh we get labeled a cult a lot um and i think pretty much all religions if you widen
00:06:21.300 your scope enough can be called the cult um but like people are free to leave uh everything's
00:06:26.860 obligatory yeah there's some social pressures that have to do with it but it's like if i leave
00:06:31.420 tomorrow or today i'm not going to get like threatened and there's no and we don't really
00:06:35.640 like worship a person other than jesus like people think we worship joseph smith that's
00:06:40.200 another big misconception but we don't and we've definitely tried to steer away from that because
00:06:44.080 it's like he's a prophet but he's also a flawed person in our eyes um you know like he's not
00:06:49.620 perfect. None of our prophets are perfect. Um, so yeah. Do you guys believe in the natural order
00:06:54.920 of the world? God, men, women, children, or are you a more egalitarian? Egalitarian for sure. I
00:07:00.180 mean, God above everything else, right? I don't think we're on equal plane with God. Um, but no,
00:07:05.120 um, I think one of the, uh, people use like the Adam and Eve story, um, a lot. One of the things
00:07:11.040 in our church that we believe is that it's not, it's not that Eve, um, made a mistake
00:07:16.860 and cause the fall of Adam.
00:07:18.780 A lot of Christian sexism is rooted in that.
00:07:24.120 But rather, we believe that what Eve did
00:07:27.280 was actually a brave and necessary choice.
00:07:30.680 Sorry.
00:07:31.680 To listen to the serpent?
00:07:34.200 Yes, to make a decision to actually say,
00:07:38.440 hey, if we want to multiply and replenish,
00:07:41.320 or not multiply and replenish,
00:07:42.140 but no true happiness and wisdom,
00:07:44.120 we need to partake of the fruit of knowledge
00:07:48.220 and it's complicated because
00:07:50.980 again, I'm not speaking doctrine
00:07:53.340 but this is a lot of what some of our members believe
00:07:57.340 is that Eve made that decision
00:08:00.940 because it was necessary
00:08:03.540 and there's a difference between a sin and disobedience
00:08:06.980 God commanded it
00:08:09.380 but I think
00:08:10.160 it's just complicated
00:08:13.720 I think part of it was necessary.
00:08:15.760 I think it was intended because otherwise we couldn't have all of this, right?
00:08:18.780 It's a complicated, messy world, but...
00:08:20.920 Wasn't it better before?
00:08:23.280 Well, I mean, think about, like, have you ever had a vacation that went a little too long?
00:08:29.020 You know, like a week and you're saying, you know what, I want to go back to work.
00:08:32.620 So you view it that it was a vacation before and then Eve didn't listen and that was good?
00:08:37.740 Yeah, I think it introduced struggle, right?
00:08:39.640 But happiness forever and, like, if you're just happy all the time, there's not really a difference.
00:08:43.720 And I think, yeah, it was like idyllic and great, but after a certain point, I think it probably would have gotten boring.
00:08:54.080 And so we have all the struggle in life, but it's beautiful, right?
00:08:57.140 Like it's hard, like we have really hard times and hard days.
00:09:00.180 There's death, there's pain, but it's still fulfilling, you know?
00:09:03.220 How do you guys handle divorce here?
00:09:04.880 Like if a couple gets divorced, are they welcome back in?
00:09:08.220 Oh, yeah, absolutely.
00:09:09.020 I mean, my mother-in-law is divorced twice, actually, and she's the Relief Society president.
00:09:13.720 so yeah um no we uh i don't think for a long long time there's been any kind of like we're pretty
00:09:21.020 strong about like if you have a marriage you guys you try really hard to work it out right there's
00:09:24.500 there's a short list of things that would cause a marriage to be what if someone's like super crazy
00:09:28.820 can they yeah i mean like if your family's in danger you're in danger you're supremely in danger
00:09:34.000 just like super crazy yeah like it's complicated if there's kids crashing out daily yeah we've all
00:09:39.420 i'm sure you've dated a girl like that before you sure but um like imagine you're with the 0.80
00:09:43.860 crazy woman can you go yeah no i think it's it's it's between you and god i don't there's not a
00:09:49.200 rule book be like hey they have to either commit adultery or or do something like it's up to you 0.97
00:09:54.220 like you pray with the spirit you figure it out um and and it's up to you but no you're not
00:09:59.740 like we're not no one of the church is nitpicking why someone got divorced me you can't come back
00:10:03.980 you know um so i'm kind of curious would a member of clergy ever like testify in a family court if
00:10:11.120 they felt like um like one of the parties didn't mean it or like would that ever happen here
00:10:17.580 i don't think so um i guess it depends like if if if a member of the clergy like let's say our
00:10:24.360 bishop right he's the he's the leader of our these individual buildings um let's say a woman like a
00:10:31.580 man cheated on his wife and the woman confided in the bishop and said hey bishop i need your help
00:10:35.680 testifying in court for for uh stuff with my kids i think that i i don't know what the precedent is
00:10:41.780 but i'm sure like the bishop could in those instances like help um you know the bishop's
00:10:47.400 meant to help families so you'd have to exercise discretion but what is responsibility without
00:10:52.780 authority responsibility without authority um i don't know uh like if you're responsible from
00:11:00.900 someone but you have no authority over them i don't know i think that's just i guess being a
00:11:05.780 good neighbor like uh you know i'm not i'm not responsible for like i don't have authority over
00:11:13.440 my neighbor's health but if i start like dumping toxic waste in my backyard and it gets into his
00:11:20.640 and makes him sick i'm still responsible for that like so i don't know um it just it's it's
00:11:27.860 being a good neighbor.
00:11:30.260 Yeah, that's how I put it.