Pearl - Men： Learn To Let Go

00:00:00.000 if i care then i'm gonna have a long ass life i you know i'm not gonna enjoy my life today we're

00:00:05.760 talking about caring and a lot of times these shows are inspired by lessons i've learned in my

00:00:11.520 life and in every story there's a hero and a villain sometimes i'm the hero sometimes i'm the

00:00:17.040 villain right you can't always be the hero can't always be the hero and one thing um that i learned

00:00:24.320 in my young life was that caring is good, that you should care about things. Now, the reason I

00:00:31.200 had this belief is because in my life, caring led to good things, right? I was put into a school

00:00:37.240 system. And when I cared about my grades, the problem improved, right? When I put in extra work

00:00:43.240 or I stayed back after class to learn from the teacher and I cared, I would put in the extra

00:00:51.080 hours and I would learn the material. A similar thing happened to me when I joined the volleyball

00:00:56.220 team. As you guys know, volleyball and basketball and athletics in general has been a huge part of

00:01:01.100 my life. I would care to say I've probably spent about a quarter of my life on away travel volleyball

00:01:07.260 trips. About half of the moves in my life were done for sports. I wanted to win a national

00:01:13.680 championship. And my freshman year of college, I transferred schools because the first team I was

00:01:20.700 with actually hated me. They bullied me off that team. And I, I said, I laughed. I'm going to be

00:01:26.000 honest. I laughed. I don't know what I did to deserve the bullying, but maybe I did something,

00:01:30.900 you know, kids, I laughed. And I went to another school that was top 20 in the country for D3.

00:01:37.060 Thank you for the $10 super chat. I appreciate you. And when I transferred, I was a bench warmer

00:01:43.440 because this was a very competitive school and I cared and I tried really hard and I cared and I

00:01:48.920 I cared so much. And things improved, right? So when I was a sophomore in college, I'm going to

00:01:56.740 retell the story because I started telling it and I don't think I told it in the most accurate way.

00:02:01.020 When I was in college, I transferred schools and I was not recruited to the school. I basically

00:02:05.820 walked on the team. But my freshman year, I had been freshman of the year. I was all conference.

00:02:10.580 I kind of thought I was hot chicks. I kind of was at my first school. I was all tournament.

00:02:14.700 um and at my first school I got bullied off the team and I left um not good I don't know

00:02:21.760 maybe I was just too myself and sometimes my personality just pisses people off so I had to

00:02:27.600 bounce right so I go to this next school and this school is like 19th in the country in all of

00:02:34.140 division three and I'm thinking I'm gonna play unfortunately they had recruited a girl that um

00:02:38.900 touched 10 feet and in volleyball for division three that's very high she wasn't that good 0.98

00:02:42.660 otherwise, but she could jump really high. And the other girl ahead of me, she was a phenomenal

00:02:48.820 vol. I was not better than this other girl. And I remember, I remember trying so hard to get on

00:02:54.680 the court. Right. And I remember I would, I would have three hour practices and I would do two hours

00:03:00.240 after. And it just seemed like, um, no matter what I did at the second school, because this girl,

00:03:05.600 they kind of had a plan for this other girl. She could jump higher, right? She could jump higher

00:03:10.340 than me it seemed like no matter what i did i i just couldn't i couldn't win right one time i

00:03:19.240 actually got all tournament off the bench and they sat me for three games do you know how

00:03:23.540 debilitating do you know how frustrating that is for a young athlete and i cared so much i cared

00:03:30.240 and i cared and i cared and i remember this was the first time in my life where caring got me

00:03:35.580 nothing because in high school when i cared i put in the extra hours and i tried i was rewarded right

00:03:43.340 i was um my team made it to state in high school um and my first school i cared and i tried and i

00:03:49.820 tried and i tried and um i i got on the court i was all conference i was freshman of the year

00:03:56.060 but this was i remember getting all tournament and then i sat for three games i remember i would

00:04:01.180 lead my team in kills and blocks and then I would sit when I yeah it because again this girl could 0.52

00:04:07.300 just jump high it was two inches it was terrible I could touch nine ten she could touch ten feet

00:04:11.920 I'm like really two inches okay so the only way mentally um and in the long run because this was

00:04:21.060 over a three-year period I did beat her out but I spent like two years fighting for this spot just

00:04:27.800 to be you know just to be shown that you get nothing out of caring now my my point of view

00:04:34.820 didn't really change it didn't really change because um i've always been a passionate person

00:04:40.120 i've always just cared right i've always i care about you know learning music i can't you know

00:04:45.040 it's just kind of um i did beat her out but like imagine i i went from freshman of the year seasons

00:04:51.500 of my life i had four left i'm like i had to spend two fighting for this spot when i hit like i'm

00:04:59.980 like yeah there was nothing i could do i had a woman coach there's no lodge i wasn't i wasn't

00:05:05.340 dealing with i liked her if she ever sees this i did like you you were a good coach you did care a

00:05:10.220 lot love you but in this situation this was complete this was complete did i not tell the

00:05:17.100 story well sometimes when i go off the cuff it's funny and sometimes that people aren't tracking

00:05:22.940 i transferred as a sophomore for two seasons i had more kills a better hitting percentage

00:05:29.500 i got all tournament and i still sat for two seasons i only actually beat her out when she

00:05:37.100 quit they would spend the first half of every season wasting my time where i would be playing 0.97

00:05:43.260 better than her then at the end of the season they would play me it would be like fine pearl play

00:05:48.760 but do you know what I mean it's not really rewarding when you just wasted my time half the

00:05:55.240 season I forced her to quit I don't think so whatever okay my point is these two seasons I

00:06:01.880 was so frustrated um that yeah because again they felt like she could be better than me they felt

00:06:07.580 like her her ceiling was like they felt like I had hit my ceiling or her ceiling was higher

00:06:15.300 cool outfit thank you you love me and my content thank you and so it just it felt like and by the

00:06:22.060 way after she left um the next season I got all conference now there's in volleyball there's two

00:06:28.060 hitters for middles and the other middle was better than me it wasn't close she was an all

00:06:31.720 American I was all conference she was an all American okay but the other girl wasn't she just

00:06:36.540 wasn't um and i think um yeah i guess i i did get a reward but this isn't this isn't the point of 0.72

00:06:45.440 the show the point of the show is not this volleyball story god damn it this was a side

00:06:50.080 quest story this was a side quest story this was not the main event all right okay okay so but

00:06:58.460 overall in my life overall in my life in general when you cared about things things get better

00:07:05.220 there was always a reward for it. There was always a reward for caring. And when I started

00:07:12.960 this YouTube channel, it was kind of the same thing. Like I cared. I wanted to be a YouTuber.

00:07:17.540 I learned about men's issues and, you know, I cared. I wanted it to, or at least I thought I

00:07:23.440 cared, right? I thought, you know, by debating it, we could change things, you know? And that was the

00:07:29.980 next time in my life where I realized it doesn't really matter if you care. Some things are just

00:07:35.140 never going to change and if you spend too much time caring about things you can't change you end

00:07:41.820 up ruining a lot of things now I'm going to be honest um as a as a woman that's dated right

00:07:49.560 these little tangents I have they're good for the show they're not great in relationships I got to

00:07:54.360 be honest more often they want you to shut up right I had an ex-boyfriend I remember I was

00:08:02.860 ranting about something and he's like shut up shut up you get me if I didn't have to fight for

00:08:10.460 the position I would have been somewhere else with getting the accolades I know I'm like yeah I got

00:08:16.700 like I didn't get all conference for two years I mean not I mean it's a women's sport who cares 0.96

00:08:21.700 but like I didn't get all conference for two years because of bullshit you know what I mean 0.76

00:08:26.340 real men let you rant no they don't they don't want you to rant and i realized uh recently um i 0.92

00:08:34.020 was speaking to an older woman who is single and i kind of saw myself in her a little bit

00:08:40.020 sometimes these stories i'm not the hero i'm the villain right sometimes i'm the villain in these 0.98

00:08:45.180 stories she's an older woman she's been divorced whatever i know i know look sometimes i suck all 0.57

00:08:51.120 right sometimes i'm terrible sometimes i could just be better in a lot of ways you know but

00:08:55.940 anyways so this woman this woman this woman talked about she liked having deep conversations with um

00:09:01.980 the men she was dating and like how that's how she's having problems in dating because she just

00:09:06.540 she just needs to have these deep conversations and i ask her what do you want to have deep

00:09:11.160 conversations with them about and um it was like how there's poison in the food supply the deep

00:09:18.200 state and in that moment I had seen myself I saw myself in a previous um in a relationship I'd been 0.98

00:09:28.040 and I was thinking I'm like they don't want to hear about this shit and I'm like she just wants 1.00

00:09:33.080 to argue with them about stupid shit they don't care about you know and as a woman you have a 1.00

00:09:40.880 tendency to care about things that are stupid you know there was a moment where I've spent so much 1.00

00:09:47.440 of my life playing volleyball and it's tough because I really love it but that caring honestly 0.95

00:09:52.720 I think I was just delayed as a person because at a certain age I didn't know how to do damn near

00:09:59.140 anything I didn't know how to cook I didn't know how to clean I didn't know because I cared so

00:10:04.340 much about the sports is it always a good thing I taught my I learned as an adult um did the caring

00:10:12.440 what did I get out of caring about volleyball I guess I'm pretty good at it there's exercise

00:10:17.400 pros and cons right and anyways but this this woman she was like in her 50s and i'm thinking 0.99

00:10:23.560 she wants to basically talk politics and even though she's actually right leaning i was thinking

00:10:28.680 about it i'm like you're like in your 50s you've already had lived your life and voted for who you

00:10:34.920 want to vote for men don't care they do not care they don't want to hear it most people they don't

00:10:41.320 care. And I realized that many women, we ruin our potential relationships or existing relationships 1.00

00:10:47.720 or marriages by talking about stuff that men do not care about. Men are problem solvers. What we

00:10:54.000 can learn from men is that really we can only care about problems that we can solve. Now there's a, 0.53

00:11:00.780 I'm going to, I got, sometimes when I tell these stories, the relatives, I'll say, get a little

00:11:06.860 upset when i use them so i gotta i gotta be broad about who i'm talking i'm just gonna start saying

00:11:12.080 a person on these shows but i was talking to a person a person about abortion when i was younger

00:11:18.660 um so for those of you that don't know i have i'm one of 10 siblings and i had one sibling that was

00:11:24.980 given up for adoption because the parents were pretty young when they had him grew up with

00:11:29.220 another family and because of that experience i met him he's a cool guy etc we reunited later

00:11:35.340 we're not going to get too far into that because of that experience I was very pro-life I've always

00:11:40.140 you know my mom she took me to Sarah Palin like I met Sarah Palin when I was like 12 at a pro-life

00:11:46.080 rally and I really cared about abortion um to the point that I've watched an abortion video

00:11:51.300 I've um I and I used to do these debates on the street I would get a sign I would say abortion 0.60

00:11:56.320 is a hate group or abortion is a cop-out and I'd argue with these women and um it wasn't until you

00:12:02.720 i'd shown a woman a video of an abortion and it didn't change her opinion at all like watching

00:12:08.000 this baby get his parts like pulled apart like the woman just did not care and i just thought you

00:12:16.000 know what if these women don't care i guess i don't care no i didn't give up a kid my brother

00:12:21.600 was given up now this relative said why do you keep fighting about abortion it's a lost cause

00:12:27.200 and you're never going to win that in this country and i thought but it's so wrong don't

00:12:33.200 you think it's wrong don't you think it's evil isn't this an evil thing no it doesn't matter

00:12:40.320 it's never going to change and a young pearl just thought yeah but you have to stand up for what's 1.00

00:12:46.000 right i thought i was standing up for what's right like i was gonna stop these hoes from killing 1.00

00:12:50.880 their kid any woman that finds pro-life content she wanted to find the content you didn't do 1.00

00:12:55.840 you didn't do shit so i had to give up you ladies win you know i see abortion kind of as a sinking 0.99

00:13:01.760 ship like imagine you're on the titanic right and it's going down you're on the titanic and that 0.99

00:13:08.560 ship is going down and you can either go down with the ship or get on a lifeboat abortion 0.55

00:13:14.880 that's like the sinking it's going to the bottom of the ocean these babies are going to die i mean 0.99

00:13:19.680 there's nothing you can do these women do not care i'm getting on the lifeboat i don't care 0.97

00:13:25.040 because remember if i care and i have a tendency to care right i have a tendency to really care

00:13:31.040 about things i've always been that way like i'm the type of white to get suckered into going and

00:13:35.840 building houses in africa do you know what i mean like i i haven't done that but like that just

00:13:41.600 seems like something that you know pearl would do you know what i mean like don't make an africa joke

00:13:48.560 i don't want to hear it if i change one woman's mind a baby might be born yeah and then it's born

00:13:53.840 to a single mother that debate that the mother's gonna ruin you know what i mean i think it's wrong 0.58

00:13:58.720 but if i care if i care then i'm gonna have a long ass life i you know i'm not gonna enjoy my life 0.58

00:14:06.640 yeah we need free labor you in so i can't i can't care right and i wasted so much time arguing with

00:14:13.600 people debating with people you know it's like they're at the coffee shop and i'm just debating 0.95

00:14:19.840 with them about fucking abortion like for why probably ruined so many people's day they're just 0.99

00:14:25.640 like this crazy woman talking about abortion now you're sounding like a woman what about me 1.00

00:14:32.200 what about me that's true the abortion people get to make money off of your outrage right they get 0.96

00:14:39.660 to take their money the single mother gets to take the government benefits yeah i'm gonna worry about 0.92

00:14:45.000 me i'm not gonna worry about these single moms i'm not gonna worry about these murderers we have 0.88

00:14:49.980 legalized murder in this country there's nothing i could do and if i spent every day crying about 1.00

00:14:55.440 you know the murder we're in the end times or something so then um as women we're naturally

00:15:02.160 curious right and curiosity gets the best of us and i could say as a woman curiosity has definitely

00:15:07.880 gotten the best of me at certain points in my life so for those of you that don't know i had

00:15:12.560 nick f on my show about three years ago and really when i had him on a lot of people thought it was

00:15:17.420 a really well thought out decision um even though honestly i just thought we vibed i thought he was

00:15:23.420 funny and i was like i think a podcast would be good vibes i saw like a clip of him on um

00:15:28.060 on race mixing or whatever and i just thought it was funny he was on no jumper and i'm like come

00:15:33.180 on on right and that's when he tell told me all the j stuff i'm just gonna say the j stuff because

00:15:38.740 I'm not kidding and it was really interesting to learn about right like his perspective I thought

00:15:45.120 he made a lot of sense um but then I ended up you know getting associated all these problems came

00:15:53.040 with really a problem that I can do nothing about and I don't care about and I remember thinking I

00:15:59.220 was so curious I just wanted to go down these rabbit holes more and I just thought I can't

00:16:03.580 care about this like if I care about it there's nothing I can do and on top of that I'm not I

00:16:11.400 don't know anything about that so even if I had an opinion it would be like the most uneducated

00:16:17.700 opinion ever so I'm going to repeat what he says I don't know so I had to learn in life that there's

00:16:24.480 certain things that you just have to be apathetic about

Pearl - April 09, 2026

Men： Learn To Let Go

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript