Pearl - April 09, 2026


Men: Learn To Let Go


Episode Stats


Length

16 minutes

Words per minute

192.33102

Word count

3,170

Sentence count

45

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

22

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 if i care then i'm gonna have a long ass life i you know i'm not gonna enjoy my life today we're
00:00:05.760 talking about caring and a lot of times these shows are inspired by lessons i've learned in my
00:00:11.520 life and in every story there's a hero and a villain sometimes i'm the hero sometimes i'm the
00:00:17.040 villain right you can't always be the hero can't always be the hero and one thing um that i learned
00:00:24.320 in my young life was that caring is good, that you should care about things. Now, the reason I
00:00:31.200 had this belief is because in my life, caring led to good things, right? I was put into a school
00:00:37.240 system. And when I cared about my grades, the problem improved, right? When I put in extra work
00:00:43.240 or I stayed back after class to learn from the teacher and I cared, I would put in the extra
00:00:51.080 hours and I would learn the material. A similar thing happened to me when I joined the volleyball
00:00:56.220 team. As you guys know, volleyball and basketball and athletics in general has been a huge part of
00:01:01.100 my life. I would care to say I've probably spent about a quarter of my life on away travel volleyball
00:01:07.260 trips. About half of the moves in my life were done for sports. I wanted to win a national
00:01:13.680 championship. And my freshman year of college, I transferred schools because the first team I was
00:01:20.700 with actually hated me. They bullied me off that team. And I, I said, I laughed. I'm going to be
00:01:26.000 honest. I laughed. I don't know what I did to deserve the bullying, but maybe I did something,
00:01:30.900 you know, kids, I laughed. And I went to another school that was top 20 in the country for D3.
00:01:37.060 Thank you for the $10 super chat. I appreciate you. And when I transferred, I was a bench warmer
00:01:43.440 because this was a very competitive school and I cared and I tried really hard and I cared and I
00:01:48.920 I cared so much. And things improved, right? So when I was a sophomore in college, I'm going to
00:01:56.740 retell the story because I started telling it and I don't think I told it in the most accurate way.
00:02:01.020 When I was in college, I transferred schools and I was not recruited to the school. I basically
00:02:05.820 walked on the team. But my freshman year, I had been freshman of the year. I was all conference.
00:02:10.580 I kind of thought I was hot chicks. I kind of was at my first school. I was all tournament.
00:02:14.700 um and at my first school I got bullied off the team and I left um not good I don't know
00:02:21.760 maybe I was just too myself and sometimes my personality just pisses people off so I had to
00:02:27.600 bounce right so I go to this next school and this school is like 19th in the country in all of
00:02:34.140 division three and I'm thinking I'm gonna play unfortunately they had recruited a girl that um
00:02:38.900 touched 10 feet and in volleyball for division three that's very high she wasn't that good 0.98
00:02:42.660 otherwise, but she could jump really high. And the other girl ahead of me, she was a phenomenal
00:02:48.820 vol. I was not better than this other girl. And I remember, I remember trying so hard to get on
00:02:54.680 the court. Right. And I remember I would, I would have three hour practices and I would do two hours
00:03:00.240 after. And it just seemed like, um, no matter what I did at the second school, because this girl,
00:03:05.600 they kind of had a plan for this other girl. She could jump higher, right? She could jump higher
00:03:10.340 than me it seemed like no matter what i did i i just couldn't i couldn't win right one time i
00:03:19.240 actually got all tournament off the bench and they sat me for three games do you know how
00:03:23.540 debilitating do you know how frustrating that is for a young athlete and i cared so much i cared
00:03:30.240 and i cared and i cared and i remember this was the first time in my life where caring got me
00:03:35.580 nothing because in high school when i cared i put in the extra hours and i tried i was rewarded right
00:03:43.340 i was um my team made it to state in high school um and my first school i cared and i tried and i
00:03:49.820 tried and i tried and um i i got on the court i was all conference i was freshman of the year
00:03:56.060 but this was i remember getting all tournament and then i sat for three games i remember i would
00:04:01.180 lead my team in kills and blocks and then I would sit when I yeah it because again this girl could 0.52
00:04:07.300 just jump high it was two inches it was terrible I could touch nine ten she could touch ten feet
00:04:11.920 I'm like really two inches okay so the only way mentally um and in the long run because this was
00:04:21.060 over a three-year period I did beat her out but I spent like two years fighting for this spot just
00:04:27.800 to be you know just to be shown that you get nothing out of caring now my my point of view
00:04:34.820 didn't really change it didn't really change because um i've always been a passionate person
00:04:40.120 i've always just cared right i've always i care about you know learning music i can't you know
00:04:45.040 it's just kind of um i did beat her out but like imagine i i went from freshman of the year seasons
00:04:51.500 of my life i had four left i'm like i had to spend two fighting for this spot when i hit like i'm
00:04:59.980 like yeah there was nothing i could do i had a woman coach there's no lodge i wasn't i wasn't
00:05:05.340 dealing with i liked her if she ever sees this i did like you you were a good coach you did care a
00:05:10.220 lot love you but in this situation this was complete this was complete did i not tell the
00:05:17.100 story well sometimes when i go off the cuff it's funny and sometimes that people aren't tracking
00:05:22.940 i transferred as a sophomore for two seasons i had more kills a better hitting percentage
00:05:29.500 i got all tournament and i still sat for two seasons i only actually beat her out when she
00:05:37.100 quit they would spend the first half of every season wasting my time where i would be playing 0.97
00:05:43.260 better than her then at the end of the season they would play me it would be like fine pearl play
00:05:48.760 but do you know what I mean it's not really rewarding when you just wasted my time half the
00:05:55.240 season I forced her to quit I don't think so whatever okay my point is these two seasons I
00:06:01.880 was so frustrated um that yeah because again they felt like she could be better than me they felt
00:06:07.580 like her her ceiling was like they felt like I had hit my ceiling or her ceiling was higher
00:06:15.300 cool outfit thank you you love me and my content thank you and so it just it felt like and by the
00:06:22.060 way after she left um the next season I got all conference now there's in volleyball there's two
00:06:28.060 hitters for middles and the other middle was better than me it wasn't close she was an all
00:06:31.720 American I was all conference she was an all American okay but the other girl wasn't she just
00:06:36.540 wasn't um and i think um yeah i guess i i did get a reward but this isn't this isn't the point of
00:06:45.440 the show the point of the show is not this volleyball story god damn it this was a side
00:06:50.080 quest story this was a side quest story this was not the main event all right okay okay so but
00:06:58.460 overall in my life overall in my life in general when you cared about things things get better
00:07:05.220 there was always a reward for it. There was always a reward for caring. And when I started
00:07:12.960 this YouTube channel, it was kind of the same thing. Like I cared. I wanted to be a YouTuber.
00:07:17.540 I learned about men's issues and, you know, I cared. I wanted it to, or at least I thought I
00:07:23.440 cared, right? I thought, you know, by debating it, we could change things, you know? And that was the
00:07:29.980 next time in my life where I realized it doesn't really matter if you care. Some things are just
00:07:35.140 never going to change and if you spend too much time caring about things you can't change you end
00:07:41.820 up ruining a lot of things now I'm going to be honest um as a as a woman that's dated right
00:07:49.560 these little tangents I have they're good for the show they're not great in relationships I got to
00:07:54.360 be honest more often they want you to shut up right I had an ex-boyfriend I remember I was
00:08:02.860 ranting about something and he's like shut up shut up you get me if I didn't have to fight for
00:08:10.460 the position I would have been somewhere else with getting the accolades I know I'm like yeah I got
00:08:16.700 like I didn't get all conference for two years I mean not I mean it's a women's sport who cares 0.51
00:08:21.700 but like I didn't get all conference for two years because of bullshit you know what I mean
00:08:26.340 real men let you rant no they don't they don't want you to rant and i realized uh recently um i
00:08:34.020 was speaking to an older woman who is single and i kind of saw myself in her a little bit
00:08:40.020 sometimes these stories i'm not the hero i'm the villain right sometimes i'm the villain in these 0.74
00:08:45.180 stories she's an older woman she's been divorced whatever i know i know look sometimes i suck all 0.57
00:08:51.120 right sometimes i'm terrible sometimes i could just be better in a lot of ways you know but
00:08:55.940 anyways so this woman this woman this woman talked about she liked having deep conversations with um
00:09:01.980 the men she was dating and like how that's how she's having problems in dating because she just
00:09:06.540 she just needs to have these deep conversations and i ask her what do you want to have deep
00:09:11.160 conversations with them about and um it was like how there's poison in the food supply the deep
00:09:18.200 state and in that moment I had seen myself I saw myself in a previous um in a relationship I'd been
00:09:28.040 and I was thinking I'm like they don't want to hear about this shit and I'm like she just wants
00:09:33.080 to argue with them about stupid shit they don't care about you know and as a woman you have a
00:09:40.880 tendency to care about things that are stupid you know there was a moment where I've spent so much
00:09:47.440 of my life playing volleyball and it's tough because I really love it but that caring honestly
00:09:52.720 I think I was just delayed as a person because at a certain age I didn't know how to do damn near
00:09:59.140 anything I didn't know how to cook I didn't know how to clean I didn't know because I cared so
00:10:04.340 much about the sports is it always a good thing I taught my I learned as an adult um did the caring
00:10:12.440 what did I get out of caring about volleyball I guess I'm pretty good at it there's exercise
00:10:17.400 pros and cons right and anyways but this this woman she was like in her 50s and i'm thinking 0.99
00:10:23.560 she wants to basically talk politics and even though she's actually right leaning i was thinking
00:10:28.680 about it i'm like you're like in your 50s you've already had lived your life and voted for who you
00:10:34.920 want to vote for men don't care they do not care they don't want to hear it most people they don't
00:10:41.320 care. And I realized that many women, we ruin our potential relationships or existing relationships 1.00
00:10:47.720 or marriages by talking about stuff that men do not care about. Men are problem solvers. What we
00:10:54.000 can learn from men is that really we can only care about problems that we can solve. Now there's a, 0.53
00:11:00.780 I'm going to, I got, sometimes when I tell these stories, the relatives, I'll say, get a little
00:11:06.860 upset when i use them so i gotta i gotta be broad about who i'm talking i'm just gonna start saying
00:11:12.080 a person on these shows but i was talking to a person a person about abortion when i was younger
00:11:18.660 um so for those of you that don't know i have i'm one of 10 siblings and i had one sibling that was
00:11:24.980 given up for adoption because the parents were pretty young when they had him grew up with
00:11:29.220 another family and because of that experience i met him he's a cool guy etc we reunited later
00:11:35.340 we're not going to get too far into that because of that experience I was very pro-life I've always
00:11:40.140 you know my mom she took me to Sarah Palin like I met Sarah Palin when I was like 12 at a pro-life
00:11:46.080 rally and I really cared about abortion um to the point that I've watched an abortion video
00:11:51.300 I've um I and I used to do these debates on the street I would get a sign I would say abortion 0.60
00:11:56.320 is a hate group or abortion is a cop-out and I'd argue with these women and um it wasn't until you
00:12:02.720 i'd shown a woman a video of an abortion and it didn't change her opinion at all like watching
00:12:08.000 this baby get his parts like pulled apart like the woman just did not care and i just thought you
00:12:16.000 know what if these women don't care i guess i don't care no i didn't give up a kid my brother
00:12:21.600 was given up now this relative said why do you keep fighting about abortion it's a lost cause
00:12:27.200 and you're never going to win that in this country and i thought but it's so wrong don't
00:12:33.200 you think it's wrong don't you think it's evil isn't this an evil thing no it doesn't matter
00:12:40.320 it's never going to change and a young pearl just thought yeah but you have to stand up for what's 1.00
00:12:46.000 right i thought i was standing up for what's right like i was gonna stop these hoes from killing 1.00
00:12:50.880 their kid any woman that finds pro-life content she wanted to find the content you didn't do 1.00
00:12:55.840 you didn't do shit so i had to give up you ladies win you know i see abortion kind of as a sinking 0.85
00:13:01.760 ship like imagine you're on the titanic right and it's going down you're on the titanic and that 0.97
00:13:08.560 ship is going down and you can either go down with the ship or get on a lifeboat abortion 0.55
00:13:14.880 that's like the sinking it's going to the bottom of the ocean these babies are going to die i mean 0.99
00:13:19.680 there's nothing you can do these women do not care i'm getting on the lifeboat i don't care 0.97
00:13:25.040 because remember if i care and i have a tendency to care right i have a tendency to really care
00:13:31.040 about things i've always been that way like i'm the type of white to get suckered into going and
00:13:35.840 building houses in africa do you know what i mean like i i haven't done that but like that just
00:13:41.600 seems like something that you know pearl would do you know what i mean like don't make an africa joke
00:13:48.560 i don't want to hear it if i change one woman's mind a baby might be born yeah and then it's born
00:13:53.840 to a single mother that debate that the mother's gonna ruin you know what i mean i think it's wrong 0.58
00:13:58.720 but if i care if i care then i'm gonna have a long ass life i you know i'm not gonna enjoy my life 0.58
00:14:06.640 yeah we need free labor you in so i can't i can't care right and i wasted so much time arguing with
00:14:13.600 people debating with people you know it's like they're at the coffee shop and i'm just debating 0.84
00:14:19.840 with them about fucking abortion like for why probably ruined so many people's day they're just 0.92
00:14:25.640 like this crazy woman talking about abortion now you're sounding like a woman what about me 0.99
00:14:32.200 what about me that's true the abortion people get to make money off of your outrage right they get 0.70
00:14:39.660 to take their money the single mother gets to take the government benefits yeah i'm gonna worry about 0.92
00:14:45.000 me i'm not gonna worry about these single moms i'm not gonna worry about these murderers we have 0.88
00:14:49.980 legalized murder in this country there's nothing i could do and if i spent every day crying about 1.00
00:14:55.440 you know the murder we're in the end times or something so then um as women we're naturally
00:15:02.160 curious right and curiosity gets the best of us and i could say as a woman curiosity has definitely
00:15:07.880 gotten the best of me at certain points in my life so for those of you that don't know i had
00:15:12.560 nick f on my show about three years ago and really when i had him on a lot of people thought it was
00:15:17.420 a really well thought out decision um even though honestly i just thought we vibed i thought he was
00:15:23.420 funny and i was like i think a podcast would be good vibes i saw like a clip of him on um
00:15:28.060 on race mixing or whatever and i just thought it was funny he was on no jumper and i'm like come
00:15:33.180 on on right and that's when he tell told me all the j stuff i'm just gonna say the j stuff because
00:15:38.740 I'm not kidding and it was really interesting to learn about right like his perspective I thought
00:15:45.120 he made a lot of sense um but then I ended up you know getting associated all these problems came
00:15:53.040 with really a problem that I can do nothing about and I don't care about and I remember thinking I
00:15:59.220 was so curious I just wanted to go down these rabbit holes more and I just thought I can't
00:16:03.580 care about this like if I care about it there's nothing I can do and on top of that I'm not I
00:16:11.400 don't know anything about that so even if I had an opinion it would be like the most uneducated
00:16:17.700 opinion ever so I'm going to repeat what he says I don't know so I had to learn in life that there's
00:16:24.480 certain things that you just have to be apathetic about