Pearl - December 03, 2025


Mental Models That Changed My Life (It’s All About the Next Step)

Mentioned
Piers Morgan
Modern Women Literally Can't Put Down Their Phones Gen Z Women Are Moving Back In With Their Parents In RECORD NUMBERS

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

165.04

Word count

1,705

Sentence count

52

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Toxicity

16

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about a few mental models that have helped me develop a more positive outlook on life and how they have changed my life in general. I hope this episode helps you develop a positive outlook as well.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 What up, guys? Welcome to my Coffee Thoughts. Today, I want to talk about a mental model that
00:00:07.600 really helps me. I think people have kind of seen my content recently, and I seem a lot less
00:00:13.860 stressed and more lighthearted than maybe I was in the past. And there's some mental models that
00:00:20.940 have really, really helped me. Okay, so the first is the art of detachment. When I was young,
00:00:28.000 I'm a very goal-oriented and motivated person and I'm always looking at my goals how can I achieve
00:00:34.440 my goals and there's a point in life where you realize that not everything's in your control
00:00:41.180 for example I know someone that is super jacked and always had fitness goals and he ended up
00:00:46.840 getting cancer a really serious that was out of his control you know it doesn't matter what he did
00:00:53.620 um some people just get a bad lot in life and that's just kind of part of life um so i found
00:01:01.080 that the happier um i'm happier as a person when i focus more on um the process and just what is
00:01:10.260 the next step rather than stressing about the outcome because a lot of times like outcomes
00:01:15.560 aren't really in your control. Sometimes it is, but I found personally that I was higher in
00:01:24.120 neuroticism when I'm trying to control the universe and trying to have everything in my control. I
00:01:30.440 think that's something people in their late 20s and early 30s kind of come to. Okay, so the next
00:01:36.500 mental model that I found helpful is to realize that a lot of your success isn't you. I think as
00:01:44.440 women a lot of times we have inflated egos because we work really we work and things just 0.99
00:01:51.120 happen for us however to be honest most of our opportunities are because of men not really
00:01:57.180 because of us and this was kind of a hard thing for me to accept I thought I put all this work
00:02:03.400 into my channel and that I was successful because of my intelligence and my hard work but really
00:02:09.680 it was mostly because I was a girl in a male space and um I I have a while I maybe am a decent
00:02:18.760 youtuber a lot of that was just my lot in life um I had my parents allow me to quit my job and
00:02:26.040 pursue my dreams there's a lot of things that were other people and not me and this actually
00:02:32.480 this mindset of acknowledging that it's not just you it's other people around you in your
00:02:37.840 circumstances, it really helps you develop a more humble attitude. I think at times, maybe,
00:02:43.780 you know, thinking that my goals and achieving them were all me gave me a little bit of a bigger
00:02:50.820 ego than I should have had. And I think that's, that's really helped me. The next thing, this is
00:02:58.900 kind of, I've kind of said this, but I'll just kind of reiterate it in a different way.
00:03:02.140 my father growing up whenever something bad would happen and I would be sad or I'd be crying about
00:03:09.520 it again he would always say well what is the next step you cannot focus on the problem what
00:03:15.420 is the solution and so you know where I would say something like oh I'm so sad why is this
00:03:21.260 happening to me you know because sometimes stuff happens and it's just it's outside of your control
00:03:28.200 my dad would come in and say well you can't change that so what is the next step and by
00:03:36.560 like for example let's say you break you drop a very expensive I don't know you drop this never
00:03:45.320 happened to me but let's say I dropped a very expensive item that I owned and I broke it 0.97
00:03:49.380 and instead of saying I could say why did this happen to me I'm so stupid I'm so dumb 0.75
00:03:54.120 instead I could say well what is the next step the next step would be can I fix it that's step one 0.95
00:04:01.440 you might go through the process of fixing it realize it cannot be fixed
00:04:05.820 then you say okay how much was it can I replace it what would what would I need to do in order 0.99
00:04:11.700 to replace the item and see that's a very different mindset than oh my god I'm so stupid 0.67
00:04:17.620 but I'm so done, you know, because that's not really helpful.
00:04:22.260 Oh, which gets me to my next point of things that have helped me mentally.
00:04:28.160 There's not really a point in describing yourself.
00:04:31.020 At times, I probably still do it.
00:04:33.240 It's a very hard habit to get out of.
00:04:35.620 But saying I'm a hard worker, I'm smart, I'm intelligent, 1.00
00:04:39.040 or the opposite is say I'm stupid. 0.99
00:04:42.340 A negative trait of mine is I do not pay attention to details. 0.99
00:04:47.620 I get lost a lot you know but there's no point in really describing yourself it sounds silly but 0.97
00:04:56.400 um by me describing myself as stupid or dumb that puts me in the position of the judge and 0.99
00:05:05.060 the jury or thinking that that person is going to think that I'm stupid or dumb or this 1.00
00:05:11.120 that's elevating that person to be the judge or the jury 0.96
00:05:16.800 neither impacts your life the only thing you can do is what is the next step okay
00:05:26.200 I get lost a lot is it something that negatively impacts my life a lot not really
00:05:33.020 I usually GPS my way out of it um is it something that I can change
00:05:39.500 is it something that's even worth taking the time to change like if i turned off my gps for like two
00:05:47.760 weeks i would probably waste a bunch of my time but get better at it is that something i really
00:05:52.320 want to do no i probably could just accept that and move on um i'll give you another example
00:05:58.620 and i've talked about this a lot not that i'm the neatest person in the world but i was always
00:06:03.800 really messy growing up. And that was something I wanted and saw value in changing. And I actually
00:06:11.300 can't believe how much I've improved over the last few years. I'm like wiping the counters after I
00:06:16.500 cook. I'm like, you know, but it didn't like me describing it and saying, oh, you're such a bad
00:06:25.060 person. You're so messy. That doesn't help me. What helps me is saying, okay, I'm messy. How do
00:06:32.220 I fix this? Well, these are some skills I maybe don't know. This is how to fix it.
00:06:47.480 The next mental model is that it doesn't matter if intelligence matters. There's a lot of thought
00:06:54.720 about IQ. And, um, it goes back to the same mental model and natural riz, whatever.
00:07:07.700 It doesn't matter if IQ matters. Sorry, that sounds stupid. But again, the only thing you 1.00
00:07:13.880 can do is focus on your next step. Um, yeah. So the next thing actually, um, my father,
00:07:23.800 again he's such an intelligent guy I always ask him like do you regret this do you wish you did
00:07:28.640 something differently um or whatever and he never has an answer for me I think men they're a lot 0.97
00:07:34.280 better at living in the present but as women a lot of times we get stuck in the past and this
00:07:40.340 is something you kind of have to actively like fight against where you're thinking oh I'm so
00:07:45.040 mad at this person I can't believe that person did that to me oh um
00:07:50.000 letting something bother you or when I was a kid I would get embarrassed about stuff
00:07:57.920 I remember I was embarrassed about something that happened when I was eight for like years
00:08:03.000 like I would think back and I'd be like oh that was so embarrassing um
00:08:07.200 and
00:08:10.160 thinking about regrets isn't really going to get you anywhere so there's no point you the only
00:08:19.420 thing I know I keep repeating myself the only thing you could do is think about what the next
00:08:25.040 step is because you might have regrets in life but they made you who you are and I think there
00:08:32.900 was a time where I was really embarrassed about things I did wrong or things I wish I did 0.94
00:08:37.760 differently you know even on the internet there's stuff I said on the internet that was stupid 0.58
00:08:42.680 right there's stuff that you know I probably should have said in a different way you know 0.95
00:08:47.740 the 16 year old tweet, that probably wasn't an intelligent thing to do. This song that got me on
00:08:53.460 Pierce Morgan, not an intelligent, the smartest thing I've ever done. But in hindsight, I don't
00:08:58.760 think I really regret anything because it made me who I am. And as long as you can look back
00:09:05.360 and take a lesson from it and move differently in the future, that's all you can do. The people
00:09:11.380 that really go crazy are the people that don't like the best model that I found is I look back
00:09:19.200 did that work did it not work it didn't work let's try something else it worked okay let's try it
00:09:25.860 again so those are just mental models I've come up with or other people have taught me if you have a
00:09:33.980 really good mental model could you put it in the comments and I will read it on the next one and
00:09:38.880 maybe talk about if I agree or disagree. Also, go to theaudacitynetwork.com because I'm not
00:09:46.820 confident that I'll be on here forever. I'm really not. So if you can, 10 bucks a month,
00:09:54.100 80 bucks a year, you support me. And last thing, if you guys could put in the comments, I do read
00:09:58.580 them. I just got a t-shirt machine. So I'm going to start selling t-shirts again. So if you could
00:10:05.360 let me know if there's a catchphrase or something that you'd want on a t-shirt. I kind of was
00:10:10.740 thinking like an it is what it is or to just take the L, you know, something I say a lot, but let
00:10:17.040 me know what you think in the comments, like the video, and I'll see you next time.