Pearl - December 03, 2025


Mental Models That Changed My Life (It’s All About the Next Step)


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

165.03726

Word count

1,705

Sentence count

51

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Toxicity

16

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about a few mental models that have helped me develop a more positive outlook on life and how they have changed my life in general. I hope this episode helps you develop a positive outlook as well.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What up, guys? Welcome to my Coffee Thoughts. Today, I want to talk about a mental model that
00:00:07.600 really helps me. I think people have kind of seen my content recently, and I seem a lot less
00:00:13.860 stressed and more lighthearted than maybe I was in the past. And there's some mental models that
00:00:20.940 have really, really helped me. Okay, so the first is the art of detachment. When I was young,
00:00:28.000 I'm a very goal-oriented and motivated person and I'm always looking at my goals how can I achieve
00:00:34.440 my goals and there's a point in life where you realize that not everything's in your control
00:00:41.180 for example I know someone that is super jacked and always had fitness goals and he ended up
00:00:46.840 getting cancer a really serious that was out of his control you know it doesn't matter what he did
00:00:53.620 um some people just get a bad lot in life and that's just kind of part of life um so i found
00:01:01.080 that the happier um i'm happier as a person when i focus more on um the process and just what is
00:01:10.260 the next step rather than stressing about the outcome because a lot of times like outcomes
00:01:15.560 aren't really in your control. Sometimes it is, but I found personally that I was higher in
00:01:24.120 neuroticism when I'm trying to control the universe and trying to have everything in my control. I
00:01:30.440 think that's something people in their late 20s and early 30s kind of come to. Okay, so the next
00:01:36.500 mental model that I found helpful is to realize that a lot of your success isn't you. I think as
00:01:44.440 women a lot of times we have inflated egos because we work really we work and things just 0.99
00:01:51.120 happen for us however to be honest most of our opportunities are because of men not really
00:01:57.180 because of us and this was kind of a hard thing for me to accept I thought I put all this work
00:02:03.400 into my channel and that I was successful because of my intelligence and my hard work but really
00:02:09.680 it was mostly because I was a girl in a male space and um I I have a while I maybe am a decent
00:02:18.760 youtuber a lot of that was just my lot in life um I had my parents allow me to quit my job and
00:02:26.040 pursue my dreams there's a lot of things that were other people and not me and this actually
00:02:32.480 this mindset of acknowledging that it's not just you it's other people around you in your
00:02:37.840 circumstances, it really helps you develop a more humble attitude. I think at times, maybe,
00:02:43.780 you know, thinking that my goals and achieving them were all me gave me a little bit of a bigger
00:02:50.820 ego than I should have had. And I think that's, that's really helped me. The next thing, this is
00:02:58.900 kind of, I've kind of said this, but I'll just kind of reiterate it in a different way.
00:03:02.140 my father growing up whenever something bad would happen and I would be sad or I'd be crying about
00:03:09.520 it again he would always say well what is the next step you cannot focus on the problem what
00:03:15.420 is the solution and so you know where I would say something like oh I'm so sad why is this
00:03:21.260 happening to me you know because sometimes stuff happens and it's just it's outside of your control
00:03:28.200 my dad would come in and say well you can't change that so what is the next step and by
00:03:36.560 like for example let's say you break you drop a very expensive I don't know you drop this never
00:03:45.320 happened to me but let's say I dropped a very expensive item that I owned and I broke it 0.97
00:03:49.380 and instead of saying I could say why did this happen to me I'm so stupid I'm so dumb 0.75
00:03:54.120 instead I could say well what is the next step the next step would be can I fix it that's step one 0.95
00:04:01.440 you might go through the process of fixing it realize it cannot be fixed
00:04:05.820 then you say okay how much was it can I replace it what would what would I need to do in order 0.99
00:04:11.700 to replace the item and see that's a very different mindset than oh my god I'm so stupid 0.67
00:04:17.620 but I'm so done, you know, because that's not really helpful.
00:04:22.260 Oh, which gets me to my next point of things that have helped me mentally.
00:04:28.160 There's not really a point in describing yourself.
00:04:31.020 At times, I probably still do it.
00:04:33.240 It's a very hard habit to get out of.
00:04:35.620 But saying I'm a hard worker, I'm smart, I'm intelligent, 1.00
00:04:39.040 or the opposite is say I'm stupid. 0.99
00:04:42.340 A negative trait of mine is I do not pay attention to details. 0.99
00:04:47.620 I get lost a lot you know but there's no point in really describing yourself it sounds silly but 0.97
00:04:56.400 um by me describing myself as stupid or dumb that puts me in the position of the judge and 0.99
00:05:05.060 the jury or thinking that that person is going to think that I'm stupid or dumb or this 1.00
00:05:11.120 that's elevating that person to be the judge or the jury 0.96
00:05:16.800 neither impacts your life the only thing you can do is what is the next step okay
00:05:26.200 I get lost a lot is it something that negatively impacts my life a lot not really
00:05:33.020 I usually GPS my way out of it um is it something that I can change
00:05:39.500 is it something that's even worth taking the time to change like if i turned off my gps for like two
00:05:47.760 weeks i would probably waste a bunch of my time but get better at it is that something i really
00:05:52.320 want to do no i probably could just accept that and move on um i'll give you another example
00:05:58.620 and i've talked about this a lot not that i'm the neatest person in the world but i was always
00:06:03.800 really messy growing up. And that was something I wanted and saw value in changing. And I actually
00:06:11.300 can't believe how much I've improved over the last few years. I'm like wiping the counters after I
00:06:16.500 cook. I'm like, you know, but it didn't like me describing it and saying, oh, you're such a bad
00:06:25.060 person. You're so messy. That doesn't help me. What helps me is saying, okay, I'm messy. How do
00:06:32.220 I fix this? Well, these are some skills I maybe don't know. This is how to fix it.
00:06:47.480 The next mental model is that it doesn't matter if intelligence matters. There's a lot of thought
00:06:54.720 about IQ. And, um, it goes back to the same mental model and natural riz, whatever.
00:07:07.700 It doesn't matter if IQ matters. Sorry, that sounds stupid. But again, the only thing you 1.00
00:07:13.880 can do is focus on your next step. Um, yeah. So the next thing actually, um, my father,
00:07:23.800 again he's such an intelligent guy I always ask him like do you regret this do you wish you did
00:07:28.640 something differently um or whatever and he never has an answer for me I think men they're a lot 0.97
00:07:34.280 better at living in the present but as women a lot of times we get stuck in the past and this
00:07:40.340 is something you kind of have to actively like fight against where you're thinking oh I'm so
00:07:45.040 mad at this person I can't believe that person did that to me oh um
00:07:50.000 letting something bother you or when I was a kid I would get embarrassed about stuff
00:07:57.920 I remember I was embarrassed about something that happened when I was eight for like years
00:08:03.000 like I would think back and I'd be like oh that was so embarrassing um
00:08:07.200 and
00:08:10.160 thinking about regrets isn't really going to get you anywhere so there's no point you the only
00:08:19.420 thing I know I keep repeating myself the only thing you could do is think about what the next
00:08:25.040 step is because you might have regrets in life but they made you who you are and I think there
00:08:32.900 was a time where I was really embarrassed about things I did wrong or things I wish I did 0.94
00:08:37.760 differently you know even on the internet there's stuff I said on the internet that was stupid 0.58
00:08:42.680 right there's stuff that you know I probably should have said in a different way you know 0.95
00:08:47.740 the 16 year old tweet, that probably wasn't an intelligent thing to do. This song that got me on
00:08:53.460 Pierce Morgan, not an intelligent, the smartest thing I've ever done. But in hindsight, I don't
00:08:58.760 think I really regret anything because it made me who I am. And as long as you can look back
00:09:05.360 and take a lesson from it and move differently in the future, that's all you can do. The people
00:09:11.380 that really go crazy are the people that don't like the best model that I found is I look back
00:09:19.200 did that work did it not work it didn't work let's try something else it worked okay let's try it
00:09:25.860 again so those are just mental models I've come up with or other people have taught me if you have a
00:09:33.980 really good mental model could you put it in the comments and I will read it on the next one and
00:09:38.880 maybe talk about if I agree or disagree. Also, go to theaudacitynetwork.com because I'm not
00:09:46.820 confident that I'll be on here forever. I'm really not. So if you can, 10 bucks a month,
00:09:54.100 80 bucks a year, you support me. And last thing, if you guys could put in the comments, I do read
00:09:58.580 them. I just got a t-shirt machine. So I'm going to start selling t-shirts again. So if you could
00:10:05.360 let me know if there's a catchphrase or something that you'd want on a t-shirt. I kind of was
00:10:10.740 thinking like an it is what it is or to just take the L, you know, something I say a lot, but let
00:10:17.040 me know what you think in the comments, like the video, and I'll see you next time.