Pearl - April 08, 2025


Modern Christian Women Are Delusional About Dating – Here's Why


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

180.36363

Word count

1,488

Sentence count

121

Harmful content

Misogyny

5

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about how a Christian woman met her husband on a Christian dating app and how she managed to get him to take her on a date. We also talk about the dangers of Christian dating apps and what to do if you find yourself on one.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Yeah, I'm going to call you a good man.
00:00:01.800 I got bad news for you, fellas.
00:00:05.120 I got bad news for you.
00:00:06.880 I hate to say it, but next we're going to talk about a girl talking about how she met
00:00:10.940 her husband on a Christian dating app.
00:00:15.240 This is an opportunist.
00:00:18.140 Christian men are like the most vulnerable group.
00:00:23.260 Okay, here we go.
00:00:24.080 I actually met my husband on a Christian dating app.
00:00:26.520 I used to be so against dating apps.
00:00:29.520 I wanted the typical rom-com story, girl meets a guy.
00:00:33.040 I wanted a beautiful story to share to family and friends of how I met my husband.
00:00:36.540 I felt that going on a dating app just made me look desperate.
00:00:39.680 So I just didn't want to try any kind of dating apps until a family friend sat me down and
00:00:45.640 explained a couple of things to me.
00:00:47.240 That just made a lot of sense.
00:00:49.020 She said, when you're in high school, your pool of people to choose from or to date, it's
00:00:55.900 your classmates, it's the students.
00:00:57.540 When you're in college, your pool expands.
00:01:00.560 So, you know, it's thousands and thousands of students in college.
00:01:04.120 But as you get older, your pool starts to get smaller and smaller.
00:01:07.800 Maybe your pool is in church.
00:01:10.500 Maybe your pool becomes your workplace.
00:01:13.940 As you get older, your pool begins to get smaller and smaller.
00:01:17.000 So where do you go to meet other people your age that are single?
00:01:20.960 You have to go where other singles your age are at.
00:01:23.580 And in my case, I was in my early 30s and she said, for you, they're online.
00:01:28.420 And so that just made sense, right?
00:01:30.700 I mean, it's nothing new, but it did make sense.
00:01:33.260 So I tried several Christian dating apps, but there was one that I really liked.
00:01:38.480 And this one made me feel safe.
00:01:40.180 And I was on and off, you know, for about seven months until the end of April, I got a message
00:01:46.640 from someone named Matt.
00:01:48.680 We messaged for several days.
00:01:50.800 By day five, we had our first phone call.
00:01:52.480 Two months after that, we met for the first time in person.
00:01:56.360 Three months after that, he proposed.
00:01:59.040 God.
00:02:03.600 Two months after that, we got married.
00:02:06.960 You guys can't even wait like six months.
00:02:09.360 God, these guys are desperate.
00:02:10.880 This week, three years of marriage.
00:02:13.400 We celebrate three years of marriage.
00:02:15.080 Now, I know there are some gross people online on dating apps, even Christian dating apps. 1.00
00:02:20.300 There are some good men too.
00:02:22.360 Oh, and then.
00:02:22.860 Yeah, I'm going to call you a good man.
00:02:24.580 I got bad news for you fellas.
00:02:26.080 I got bad news for you.
00:02:29.660 I hate to say it, but that basically means she sees you as a brother.
00:02:37.680 Dating app that I used, it's called Holy.
00:02:41.800 Oh, yeah.
00:02:43.740 Poor Christian guys. 1.00
00:02:45.120 They just become targets.
00:02:46.180 We're going to do a call in in a little bit.
00:02:48.360 Five things I want you to think about before getting on the dating apps.
00:02:51.420 Number one, you still in a place or a season where you are surrounded by singles.
00:02:56.080 Opportunities to meet people.
00:02:57.180 It's so easy to want to get on the dating apps because we're lonely.
00:03:00.020 In a season where you're 22 and you're surrounded by all these people at your church or where you're going about, you don't need a dating app.
00:03:07.520 Point of the dating app is to find people because you're in an environment where there's no longer people to date.
00:03:14.080 Get plugged into a church.
00:03:15.560 Find a hobby where you know young adults are and chase after it.
00:03:19.840 Number two, if you got rejected by the boy you went on the date with from the apps, would your worth be shattered?
00:03:27.220 Do not get on the apps until you are secure enough in who the Lord says about you so that even if this boy is like, I don't want to date you again, you're not swayed.
00:03:38.620 You're not affected because your worth is not going up and down based on what he thinks about you.
00:03:43.980 Number three, invite your closest people in.
00:03:46.560 Invite community in and ask them to speak in.
00:03:49.280 You are not smart when it comes to wanting to date someone.
00:03:52.660 They might be able to point out blind spots that you're not aware of.
00:03:56.500 Ask people to say, am I spiritually, emotionally, and mentally able to handle the apps?
00:04:04.200 Trust their wisdom.
00:04:04.840 Yeah, okay.
00:04:08.420 So this is you got a woman trying to date like a teenager as an adult. 0.83
00:04:14.320 When you bring in the community and stuff, that's cool if you're below.
00:04:18.460 You guys got till the end of college to do that.
00:04:21.080 But after then, you got to think for yourself, date for your, I mean, you can do what you want.
00:04:24.700 I just, you guys aren't really going to go for that.
00:04:27.220 John says, Pearl in New York, verbal abuse is illegal.
00:04:29.940 So the best of luck enforcing boundaries as emotional abuse can mean anything for the bull
00:04:34.580 poll around 25 women are looking to sell. 1.00
00:04:37.420 Number four, pray about it.
00:04:38.880 Y'all, I literally did not get on the apps until gosh, like a month and a half ago.
00:04:42.500 And I legitimately was on the apps for one month and I went on three dates, but I prayed
00:04:47.720 about that for a while.
00:04:49.060 And I never felt like the Lord said yes.
00:04:51.160 And finally I felt like he gave me the green light, went on a few dates and it was fine.
00:04:55.180 But I was like, man, even if you don't like me, whatever.
00:04:58.480 Also, I got on the apps when I was feeling the least confident in my body because I was
00:05:04.540 wanting to challenge myself and be like, I'm going to go on these dates and I'm going to
00:05:09.500 be me going to pretend to be something that I'm not going to arrive before I can date.
00:05:15.480 I'm going in confident in who the Lord says about me, not on the way that I look.
00:05:19.960 Number five, not get on the dating apps.
00:05:22.440 If you are looking for validation or you're insecure, you go into a relationship insecure,
00:05:28.700 you're going to be in a relationship insecure.
00:05:31.760 No man, no relationship, no date will fix the God shaped hole in your heart.
00:05:37.140 Your security and confidence comes from the Lord.
00:05:40.240 It will never be satisfied.
00:05:42.360 Even if you date the godliest, cutest guy on the dating apps, dating apps, yes or no, be free.
00:05:52.440 Okay.
00:05:54.220 Here's the thing about, I've recent history with women that are Christian on dating apps.
00:06:01.760 Women, by the time they're in their mid-30s, they're set in their ways and you can see that 1.00
00:06:07.720 their religion is one of the reasons why they're keeping them single.
00:06:10.780 I met this Orthodox Christian Ethiopian girl.
00:06:16.740 She was born in America, but she's culturally Ethiopian.
00:06:21.300 And she was, now guys, I'm in my mid-40s, okay?
00:06:25.500 She was in her mid-30s, like 35, and she went to church on Thursdays, Saturdays, Sundays,
00:06:33.560 and went to Bible study on Monday, right?
00:06:37.000 Now, she's 35, had some BS degree in something that wasn't going to make her any money,
00:06:42.960 and she fully expected to find a man to let her stay at home with children at 35.
00:06:49.280 And then she expected the man to join her church because it was very important to her.
00:06:56.260 So the man she was with would have to join her church, and she's 35, and put her in a
00:07:01.660 position to stay home and raise children.
00:07:04.460 First off, I don't have any kids.
00:07:05.960 I don't want them.
00:07:06.460 So we were automatically not compatible.
00:07:09.120 But that's the experience of a lot of super religious women in their 30s. 0.99
00:07:15.400 They have this expectation that you have to join their church, their religion, and the
00:07:20.280 way that they see this whole God thing.
00:07:22.960 Well, it's super crazy because it's like Christian women don't think they have to do any work 1.00
00:07:27.800 other than go to church.
00:07:29.580 So she didn't have to get married and have kids to be a religious woman. 0.99
00:07:33.280 She just had to show up to church and read her Bible.
00:07:36.640 Like, that's kind of the bare minimum.
00:07:38.140 Do you know what I mean?
00:07:38.680 That's not really difficult to do.
00:07:42.600 Yeah, I asked her that.
00:07:43.800 I said, if you're so dedicated to your church, how are you single?
00:07:50.340 What'd she say?
00:07:51.380 She had no answer.
00:07:54.400 No real answer.
00:07:55.800 You know, I had to travel.
00:07:58.140 You know, I had school, all this stuff.
00:08:00.760 But it's just like now you value.
00:08:02.800 I don't know.
00:08:03.420 She didn't have a good answer for it.
00:08:05.120 But she's holding every man she meets now to this high standard.
00:08:07.680 Yeah, they always think they can get what they got.
00:08:11.200 They could have got when they were 20.
00:08:12.840 Yeah.
00:08:13.320 Yeah.
00:08:13.380 Yeah.
00:08:14.020 That's right.
00:08:14.380 Yeah.
00:08:14.440 Yeah.