Pearl - September 06, 2024Modern FEMINIST MOVIES Always CATERING To WOMEN'S NEEDS! ｜ Pearl Daily
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, I discuss some of the lessons I have learned over the past three years of interviewing thousands of women about marriage, relationships, culture, and family. These are some of my favorite things I ve learned.
Transcript
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I was working today, and I made that meal, and you could have thought to yourself,
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You think screaming drunk kids and leprechauns doing backflips, that's fun.
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I am done. I don't deserve this. I really do not deserve this.
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I'm not spending one more second of this life with some inconsiderate prick.
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You know, it's been a couple of months since I streamed and it's given me a lot of time
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And for those of you that don't know, maybe you're new to the channel.
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I went from selling copiers in Milwaukee to interviewing a thousand women in England about
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You know, my life changed basically overnight from doing three years of shows.
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So the theme of this week is lessons I learned from three years of shows.
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I was a normal woman selling copiers in Milwaukee when I stumbled upon a Kevin Samuels video.
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His content inspired me to do panel shows where I interviewed over a thousand women
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These are some of the lessons that I've learned.
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Over the past three years, when I listened to women talk about their fears and obstacles
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they have encountered in dating and even obstacles I myself have had in the past, there is one
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thing that I would hear, I did so much for him.
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I want a one in the chat if you've ever heard a woman say that she did so much for you.
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I would hear women talk about how they cooked, cleaned, and catered to a man who did not
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I would hear women talk about how they gave their best years to a man.
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Maybe the woman was with the man for 10 years and he never married her.
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Maybe the woman moved to him only to have him change his mind.
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Maybe the woman changed her career and deleted her Instagram and it ended with no ring and
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So what if you cook clean and submit to a man who does not appreciate it and it rewards
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When I spoke to women, this seemed to be a common complaint.
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From my observations, it boils down to a couple of things.
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When women say they were not appreciated in their last relationship, it generally means
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the women are doing things with the expectation of getting something in return.
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We all know that person in your life who you refuse to accept favors from because if you
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Many times without knowing it, women become that person.
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What I have found is a more healthy mentality to have is to give without expecting anything
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When I think about the most warm and feminine women I know, they consistently give to their
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community and family without the expectation of getting something in return.
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I would personally rather get nothing at all than receive something from someone who expects
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The next explanation is that women were not nearly doing as much as they thought they
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Sure, maybe they cooked and cleaned for their husbands, but isn't that what they're supposed
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Maybe she gave him a really good gift one time, maybe she cooks dinner once a week,
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but generally women overvalue what they do and undervalue what the man is doing.
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This is why we have phrases like you need to build a man up.
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Men build themselves up and we can either be assets or liabilities.
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What we tend to forget is how much men do for us.
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The shows, the reality TV shows they watch for us that they don't even like.
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All the events that they get dragged to that they don't want to be at.
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Sometimes women do the right things, but so is a man.
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And you can do the right things and not get the guaranteed, and sometimes you can do the
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right thing and still not get the outcome that you desire.
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is not fair and there are no guaranteed outcomes it goes back to do not give in order to get give
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because you want to give and hope it's mutual sometimes in other times i would see that a
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woman had a glaringly negative personality trait that needed to be fixed before a man would take
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it to the next level maybe she would nag constantly maybe she was disrespectful
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oftentimes men will date women in hopes that they will improve or maybe get better and the reason
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that he would not take her down the aisle or give her a ring is one the laws that we talked about
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you know but we we've gone over those on this shows other times it's because there is a but
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i love her but insert negative trait it is not the right man oftentimes i would hear women who
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spent their 20s with influencers entertainers rappers and even at times drug dealers like drug
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Why didn't a drug dealer marry you? What are you guys doing?" Who would not commit to them.
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The women picked the wrong man to give the best of her to.
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So what I learned from this is there's no guaranteed outcomes in life. There are women
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who do all the right things and wind up single mothers. I know a woman whose husband has brain
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cancer and she will likely end up a widow. There are women who took a gamble and gave a man their
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best years who was not ready. In life, there are no guaranteed outcomes, and saying you did
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too much for a man who did not appreciate it is thinking that the outcome is in your control,
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and that itself is not feminine. In order to combat this, many women nag in order to get what
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they want. They nag for the ring instead of trying to be worthy of it. How many women ask themselves
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how they can be better to deserve a ring instead of nagging for one? And at times, I would see it
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work. I would see men get their feet dragged down the aisle, but it's not really the same sentiment
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when you nag a man into taking you down the aisle than when he wants to do it. Now, what do the men
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say about this? When I ask the men if they ever had a woman that did too much for them, the answer
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is overwhelmingly no. But if a man did feel like he passed up on a good girl, generally he will say
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it was not the right timing. He was too young. But if it was not that, it was generally one of
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the reasons I listed above. Many men feel as though we want the ring and the children more
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than the man. A story that I think of is there is a man and he was a successful entrepreneur
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and he was dating a woman for a couple of years. He loved this woman. He wanted to be with her the
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rest of her life. She wanted to get married. He did not feel like that was in the cards for him
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because of the laws, and he had spent a lot of times building himself up to be something.
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And he said from that, he realized that she wanted the ring more than she wanted him. She had him.
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She had his time. She had his attention. He wasn't seeing anyone else, but she wanted the ring.
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Women very rarely give without expecting to receive something in return. This is why when
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women get the kids in the ring, oftentimes they stop caring about the man. I have heard men say
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that their wife completely changed after marriage and after children. I know two women in college
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who were more on the traditional side. One woman was dating a man who was on the lacrosse team,
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and one was dating a man on the basketball team. They both wanted to be with the men.
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The guys were kind of players, right? They were kind of the hard type to get to settle down.
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They really had the option to be with a lot of women on campus.
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Both of these women stayed with the man in a non-committed relationship for all of college.
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By the way, I don't recommend this or say this as the best course of action. I just look at results.
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One woman got dumped after college and he went on to be a player for most of his 20s.
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The other woman married him and is now pregnant with his child. I would say that the woman that
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had the worst outcome was actually more feminine than the one that got married.
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Again, life is not fair and life is about choices and trade-offs. Some women choose to go after
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highly desired men and the trade-off is that if he feels like it, you're out the door. Other women
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choose to go after less sought after men and it will be more likely to be a sure thing. Some women
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leave these situations bitter and make the next guy pay. That is where you get the don't do too
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much for him content. These are generally older women that used their youth on a man
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and didn't get the outcome that they desired. That's where you also get the, I do not perform
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wife duties for girlfriend treatment content. Again, these are women who did things with
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the expectation of getting something in return and it did not pan out. So they make the next
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man pay. Femininity is about selflessness. It's not about keeping score.
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All you can do is be the best version of yourself and you cannot control the universe.
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So what made me think of this monologue today was a video that I watched a couple of years
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And I remember watching this video when I was younger and I totally thought Jennifer
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dating in this in this movie and they end up breaking up this was a super viral scene okay
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let's go i'm gonna go do the dishes cool it'd be nice if you help me no problem
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so it starts there right it would be nice if you helped me and i know on the surface right
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a lot of women think it's simple right oh just help her with the dishes but again what is she
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cooking and cleaning for him because she wants to or because she's expecting something in return
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come on i don't want to do them later let's just do them now take 15 minutes oh honey i am so
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exhausted i just honestly want to relax for a little bit if i could just sit here let my food
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digest and just try to enjoy the quiet for a little bit get some get some get some that's
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what happens and we will you know we can clean the dishes tomorrow you know i don't like waking
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up to a dirty kitchen who cares who cares i care me me me i want it done now me me me my way or
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the highway care all right i care i busted my ass all day cleaning this house and then cooking that
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meal and i work today it would be nice if you so right there we have we have it again i did this
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I did this. So you must do this. Thank you and helped me with the dishes. Fine. I'll help you
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do the damn dishes. Oh, come on. So now he's doing it, right? And this is, this is, you know,
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it shows the dynamic women nagging, right? And they get what they want. Is that how you want
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to get what you want? You know what? No, that's, see, that's not what I want. You just said that
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you want me to help you do the dishes. I want you to want to do the dishes. Why would I want to do
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that you're upset because I don't have a strong desire
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I didn't call you crazy. No, I didn't. I said you're
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3. If I knew that it was going to be this much trouble, I would have brought home 24
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lemons. Even 100 lemons. I know what I wish. But see, this is her getting mad just to get
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mad. They're in New York City. How far is a lemon? You can't just walk down the street
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and go get a lemon. This is why I say a lot of times women, we just argue to argue that
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the solution is so easy. So easy. Everyone that was at that goddamn table had their own
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little private bag of lemons. It's not about the lemons. Well, that's all you're talking
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about? I'm just saying it'd be nice if you did things that I asked. It would be even nicer if
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you... So when you think of like a kind, sweet grandma, right, who spends her whole day slaving
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away in the kitchen for you, you never get this attitude with it. And this is the problem with
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the women in our generation. We just do things oftentimes in order to control people or in order
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to get something in return. Did things without me having to ask you. Well, I do seem to remember
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are doing something for you this morning without you asking. Gary, come on. I'm serious. No, I'm
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serious. I really am. Come on, you knew I was working today and I made that meal and you could
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have thought to yourself, you know, you could have said, I think I'm going to give Brooke some
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flowers. You said on our very first date that you don't like flowers, that they're a waste of money.
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Every girl likes flowers, Gary. You said that you don't like flowers. I'm supposed to take that to
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that you do like flowers no this is not about you're not you're not you're you're you're not
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getting it you're not getting this gary okay it's not about the lemons it's not about the flowers
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it's not about the dishes it's just how many times do i have to drop hints about the ballet
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you know i can't brooke come here we talked about the damn ballet i hate the goddamn ballet you got
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a bunch of dudes in tights flopping around for three hours it's like a medieval techno show it's
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a nightmare i sit there in the sweat the whole thing i do it when the hell's the goddamn nightmare
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It's about the person that you love loves the ballet,
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You think screaming drunk kids and leprechauns doing backflips?
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i'm up on the bus every god so this is what i was saying before i do this i do this she doesn't
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notice what he does she only notices what she does and when i hear women talk about this or
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you know even at times where i've thought like this it's really it's a problem with the woman
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because she is keeping score come on i'm busting my ass to be the best poor guy in the damn city
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so i can make enough money to support both of us and hopefully you won't have to work one day
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i want to work all i ask brooke is that you show a little bit of appreciation that i just get 20
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minutes to relax when i come home instead of being attacked with questions and nag the whole damn
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you think that i nag you that's all you do all you do is nag me the bathroom's a mess your belt
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doesn't match hey girl you should probably go work out nothing i ever do is ever good enough
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i just want to be left the hell alone really is that what you want gary is that what you want
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yeah that's what you want yeah fine great do whatever the hell you want you leave your socks
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all over this house dress like a pig play your stupid ass video game i don't care i'm done what
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i am done i don't deserve this i really do not deserve this i deserve somebody who gives a
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shit i'm not spending one more second of this life with some inconsiderate prick you're a prick
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This is what I say. Usually when there's fights, it's kind of the woman's fault. She could have
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just did the dishes. She could have just did the dishes, but now it's like this huge deal. You did,
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you didn't do this, this, this, and this. She has every place that he fell short, which I am sure,
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and this is the thing about men. They don't really bring up where we fall short. They really don't,
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you know, men are much more forgiving women. It's like, we bring up things from like two years ago
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on March 2nd, 2002, you did X, Y, and Z. And that's the issue with women. A lot of times we
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have a harder time letting things go. Yeah. Okay. You guys get the idea. They broke up.
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That was the end of the do the dishes. It's a median in which our minds communicate differently.
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Yeah. And this was kind of one of the red pilling moments that I had interviewing a thousand people
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was in the media, online, on YouTube, you always get the man's or the woman's point of view on
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relationships. When the media publishes a movie, the woman is always an angel. The guy is always
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the guy that didn't appreciate her, the bad guy who just yada, yada, yada. And when I interviewed
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men about their side of the story. I mean, even that, right? You can see what the movie is getting
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at. The movie is getting at that poor Jennifer Aniston. She does so much for this guy. He
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doesn't appreciate her. He just behaves like a child. And she is the angelic woman who just
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could do no wrong. You can tell it's written by a woman. It's written for women. And that scene
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went viral because many women identified with it. And the issue you get with that mentality
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is when you're keeping score and you're doing things to get things in return,
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nobody wins. It's something I've seen in a lot of marriages, even from women of the older
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generation. It's not just a young thing. Women have a really hard time letting things go and