Pearl - September 06, 2024


Modern FEMINIST MOVIES Always CATERING To WOMEN'S NEEDS! ｜ Pearl Daily

Topics
lessons from shows
Mentioned
Gary Jennifer Aniston Kevin Samuels Vince Vaughn
Modern Women's WORST FEAR Is Doing TOO MUCH ｜ Pearl Daily YOUTUBERS Are Selling Their INTEGRITY For MONEY! ｜ Pearl Daily

Episode Stats


Length

17 minutes

Words per minute

189.76

Word count

3,381

Sentence count

222

Harmful content

Misogyny

50

sentences flagged

Toxicity

24

sentences flagged

Hate speech

39

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I discuss some of the lessons I have learned over the past three years of interviewing thousands of women about marriage, relationships, culture, and family. These are some of my favorite things I ve learned.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I was working today, and I made that meal, and you could have thought to yourself,
00:00:04.600 you know what you could have said?
00:00:05.920 I think I'm going to give Brooke some flowers.
00:00:08.700 You think screaming drunk kids and leprechauns doing backflips, that's fun.
00:00:13.320 That's fun for me.
00:00:14.720 Come on, man. I did that for you.
00:00:16.420 What do you... How do you show up for me?
00:00:17.960 What?
00:00:18.400 I am done. I don't deserve this. I really do not deserve this.
00:00:21.980 I deserve somebody who gives a shit. 1.00
00:00:23.980 I'm not spending one more second of this life with some inconsiderate prick. 1.00
00:00:28.620 You know, it's been a couple of months since I streamed and it's given me a lot of time
00:00:36.260 to reflect on the last three years.
00:00:39.800 And for those of you that don't know, maybe you're new to the channel.
00:00:42.540 I went from selling copiers in Milwaukee to interviewing a thousand women in England about 0.80
00:00:47.940 marriage, relationships, culture, family.
00:00:52.740 You know, my life changed basically overnight from doing three years of shows.
00:00:57.880 So the theme of this week is lessons I learned from three years of shows.
00:01:03.260 I was a normal woman selling copiers in Milwaukee when I stumbled upon a Kevin Samuels video.
00:01:09.660 That video changed my life.
00:01:11.900 His content inspired me to do panel shows where I interviewed over a thousand women
00:01:16.460 and men about marriage and relationships.
00:01:20.160 These are some of the lessons that I've learned.
00:01:22.240 Over the past three years, when I listened to women talk about their fears and obstacles
00:01:27.220 they have encountered in dating and even obstacles I myself have had in the past, there is one
00:01:32.940 thing that I would hear, I did so much for him.
00:01:37.800 I want a one in the chat if you've ever heard a woman say that she did so much for you.
00:01:43.320 I would hear women talk about how they cooked, cleaned, and catered to a man who did not 0.96
00:01:47.680 appreciate it.
00:01:49.360 I would hear women talk about how they gave their best years to a man. 0.97
00:01:54.540 Maybe the woman was with the man for 10 years and he never married her.
00:01:58.640 Those women were very bitter. 0.99
00:02:01.440 Maybe the woman moved to him only to have him change his mind.
00:02:05.860 Maybe the woman changed her career and deleted her Instagram and it ended with no ring and 1.00
00:02:10.240 no children.
00:02:11.640 So what if you cook clean and submit to a man who does not appreciate it and it rewards
00:02:17.660 the behavior?
00:02:19.160 When I spoke to women, this seemed to be a common complaint. 1.00
00:02:22.560 From my observations, it boils down to a couple of things.
00:02:26.680 When women say they were not appreciated in their last relationship, it generally means
00:02:31.780 the women are doing things with the expectation of getting something in return. 1.00
00:02:37.040 We all know that person in your life who you refuse to accept favors from because if you
00:02:43.180 do, they will hold it over your head later.
00:02:46.420 Many times without knowing it, women become that person. 1.00
00:02:49.900 What about all I did for you?
00:02:51.680 Why did you let me do that?
00:02:53.840 What I have found is a more healthy mentality to have is to give without expecting anything
00:02:58.380 in return.
00:02:59.640 When I think about the most warm and feminine women I know, they consistently give to their
00:03:04.240 community and family without the expectation of getting something in return.
00:03:08.680 I would personally rather get nothing at all than receive something from someone who expects
00:03:14.640 something in return for giving it to you.
00:03:16.960 The next explanation is that women were not nearly doing as much as they thought they 1.00
00:03:21.680 were.
00:03:22.680 Sure, maybe they cooked and cleaned for their husbands, but isn't that what they're supposed 1.00
00:03:26.280 to do?
00:03:27.280 Don't you have to eat too?
00:03:29.600 Maybe she gave him a really good gift one time, maybe she cooks dinner once a week, 0.90
00:03:33.380 but generally women overvalue what they do and undervalue what the man is doing. 1.00
00:03:38.900 This is why we have phrases like you need to build a man up.
00:03:42.880 Men build themselves up and we can either be assets or liabilities.
00:03:46.920 What we tend to forget is how much men do for us.
00:03:51.560 The shows, the reality TV shows they watch for us that they don't even like.
00:03:56.700 All the events that they get dragged to that they don't want to be at.
00:04:01.320 Sometimes women do the right things, but so is a man. 1.00
00:04:04.540 And you can do the right things and not get the guaranteed, and sometimes you can do the
00:04:10.220 right thing and still not get the outcome that you desire.
00:04:14.020 is not fair and there are no guaranteed outcomes it goes back to do not give in order to get give
00:04:19.940 because you want to give and hope it's mutual sometimes in other times i would see that a
00:04:25.140 woman had a glaringly negative personality trait that needed to be fixed before a man would take 1.00
00:04:30.420 it to the next level maybe she would nag constantly maybe she was disrespectful 1.00
00:04:36.420 oftentimes men will date women in hopes that they will improve or maybe get better and the reason 0.80
00:04:42.340 that he would not take her down the aisle or give her a ring is one the laws that we talked about
00:04:48.260 you know but we we've gone over those on this shows other times it's because there is a but
00:04:53.700 i love her but insert negative trait it is not the right man oftentimes i would hear women who 0.72
00:05:01.540 spent their 20s with influencers entertainers rappers and even at times drug dealers like drug
00:05:08.020 Why didn't a drug dealer marry you? What are you guys doing?" Who would not commit to them.
00:05:14.980 The women picked the wrong man to give the best of her to. 1.00
00:05:19.220 So what I learned from this is there's no guaranteed outcomes in life. There are women 1.00
00:05:23.460 who do all the right things and wind up single mothers. I know a woman whose husband has brain 1.00
00:05:28.180 cancer and she will likely end up a widow. There are women who took a gamble and gave a man their 1.00
00:05:34.660 best years who was not ready. In life, there are no guaranteed outcomes, and saying you did
00:05:39.780 too much for a man who did not appreciate it is thinking that the outcome is in your control,
00:05:45.760 and that itself is not feminine. In order to combat this, many women nag in order to get what 1.00
00:05:51.680 they want. They nag for the ring instead of trying to be worthy of it. How many women ask themselves 1.00
00:05:57.240 how they can be better to deserve a ring instead of nagging for one? And at times, I would see it
00:06:02.900 work. I would see men get their feet dragged down the aisle, but it's not really the same sentiment
00:06:09.620 when you nag a man into taking you down the aisle than when he wants to do it. Now, what do the men 0.99
00:06:16.420 say about this? When I ask the men if they ever had a woman that did too much for them, the answer 1.00
00:06:22.080 is overwhelmingly no. But if a man did feel like he passed up on a good girl, generally he will say
00:06:30.700 it was not the right timing. He was too young. But if it was not that, it was generally one of
00:06:36.420 the reasons I listed above. Many men feel as though we want the ring and the children more
00:06:42.760 than the man. A story that I think of is there is a man and he was a successful entrepreneur
00:06:51.160 and he was dating a woman for a couple of years. He loved this woman. He wanted to be with her the
00:06:56.840 rest of her life. She wanted to get married. He did not feel like that was in the cards for him
00:07:03.300 because of the laws, and he had spent a lot of times building himself up to be something.
00:07:09.180 And he said from that, he realized that she wanted the ring more than she wanted him. She had him.
00:07:15.440 She had his time. She had his attention. He wasn't seeing anyone else, but she wanted the ring.
00:07:20.420 Women very rarely give without expecting to receive something in return. This is why when 1.00
00:07:26.360 women get the kids in the ring, oftentimes they stop caring about the man. I have heard men say 1.00
00:07:32.520 that their wife completely changed after marriage and after children. I know two women in college 0.63
00:07:38.220 who were more on the traditional side. One woman was dating a man who was on the lacrosse team,
00:07:43.000 and one was dating a man on the basketball team. They both wanted to be with the men.
00:07:47.760 The guys were kind of players, right? They were kind of the hard type to get to settle down.
00:07:54.300 They really had the option to be with a lot of women on campus.
00:07:59.100 Both of these women stayed with the man in a non-committed relationship for all of college.
00:08:04.220 By the way, I don't recommend this or say this as the best course of action. I just look at results.
00:08:09.740 One woman got dumped after college and he went on to be a player for most of his 20s.
00:08:14.620 The other woman married him and is now pregnant with his child. I would say that the woman that 0.96
00:08:20.700 had the worst outcome was actually more feminine than the one that got married. 1.00
00:08:24.940 Again, life is not fair and life is about choices and trade-offs. Some women choose to go after 1.00
00:08:30.700 highly desired men and the trade-off is that if he feels like it, you're out the door. Other women 0.82
00:08:37.020 choose to go after less sought after men and it will be more likely to be a sure thing. Some women 0.99
00:08:42.220 leave these situations bitter and make the next guy pay. That is where you get the don't do too
00:08:48.940 much for him content. These are generally older women that used their youth on a man 1.00
00:08:54.840 and didn't get the outcome that they desired. That's where you also get the, I do not perform
00:09:00.220 wife duties for girlfriend treatment content. Again, these are women who did things with 1.00
00:09:06.260 the expectation of getting something in return and it did not pan out. So they make the next
00:09:11.920 man pay. Femininity is about selflessness. It's not about keeping score. 1.00
00:09:18.840 All you can do is be the best version of yourself and you cannot control the universe.
00:09:23.900 So what made me think of this monologue today was a video that I watched a couple of years
00:09:31.700 ago.
00:09:33.440 And I remember watching this video when I was younger and I totally thought Jennifer
00:09:39.600 Aniston was in the right.
00:09:41.980 It's called The Breakup.
00:09:43.100 It's about Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.
00:09:47.140 dating in this in this movie and they end up breaking up this was a super viral scene okay
00:09:53.620 let's go i'm gonna go do the dishes cool it'd be nice if you help me no problem
00:10:05.860 so it starts there right it would be nice if you helped me and i know on the surface right
00:10:11.700 a lot of women think it's simple right oh just help her with the dishes but again what is she 1.00
00:10:18.580 cooking and cleaning for him because she wants to or because she's expecting something in return
00:10:24.820 come on i don't want to do them later let's just do them now take 15 minutes oh honey i am so
00:10:28.420 exhausted i just honestly want to relax for a little bit if i could just sit here let my food
00:10:33.860 digest and just try to enjoy the quiet for a little bit get some get some get some that's
00:10:39.780 what happens and we will you know we can clean the dishes tomorrow you know i don't like waking
00:10:44.500 up to a dirty kitchen who cares who cares i care me me me i want it done now me me me my way or 0.95
00:10:54.420 the highway care all right i care i busted my ass all day cleaning this house and then cooking that 0.95
00:11:00.660 meal and i work today it would be nice if you so right there we have we have it again i did this 0.66
00:11:05.860 I did this. So you must do this. Thank you and helped me with the dishes. Fine. I'll help you
00:11:12.400 do the damn dishes. Oh, come on. So now he's doing it, right? And this is, this is, you know, 1.00
00:11:17.220 it shows the dynamic women nagging, right? And they get what they want. Is that how you want 1.00
00:11:22.220 to get what you want? You know what? No, that's, see, that's not what I want. You just said that
00:11:25.780 you want me to help you do the dishes. I want you to want to do the dishes. Why would I want to do
00:11:30.620 dishes. Why?
00:11:32.700 See, that's my whole point. Let me see if
00:11:34.660 I'm following this, okay? Are you telling me
00:11:36.740 that you're upset because I don't have a strong desire
00:11:38.660 to clean dishes? No, I'm upset because
00:11:40.620 you don't have a strong desire to offer to
00:11:42.640 do the dishes. I just did. After I
00:11:44.540 asked you. Jesus, Brooke, you're acting
00:11:46.640 crazy again. Don't you call me crazy. 0.97
00:11:48.900 I am not crazy. I didn't call you crazy.
00:11:50.540 I didn't call you crazy. No, I didn't. I said you're
00:11:52.580 acting crazy. You know what, Gary? I asked you
00:11:54.560 to do one thing today, one very simple thing
00:11:56.600 to bring me 12 lemons, and you brought me
00:11:58.560 3. If I knew that it was going to be this much trouble, I would have brought home 24
00:12:03.120 lemons. Even 100 lemons. I know what I wish. But see, this is her getting mad just to get 1.00
00:12:07.840 mad. They're in New York City. How far is a lemon? You can't just walk down the street
00:12:12.440 and go get a lemon. This is why I say a lot of times women, we just argue to argue that 1.00
00:12:17.440 the solution is so easy. So easy. Everyone that was at that goddamn table had their own
00:12:22.200 little private bag of lemons. It's not about the lemons. Well, that's all you're talking 1.00
00:12:25.400 about? I'm just saying it'd be nice if you did things that I asked. It would be even nicer if
00:12:29.760 you... So when you think of like a kind, sweet grandma, right, who spends her whole day slaving
00:12:35.980 away in the kitchen for you, you never get this attitude with it. And this is the problem with
00:12:41.280 the women in our generation. We just do things oftentimes in order to control people or in order 1.00
00:12:49.020 to get something in return. Did things without me having to ask you. Well, I do seem to remember
00:12:54.260 are doing something for you this morning without you asking. Gary, come on. I'm serious. No, I'm
00:13:00.380 serious. I really am. Come on, you knew I was working today and I made that meal and you could
00:13:06.340 have thought to yourself, you know, you could have said, I think I'm going to give Brooke some 0.90
00:13:10.700 flowers. You said on our very first date that you don't like flowers, that they're a waste of money.
00:13:16.700 Every girl likes flowers, Gary. You said that you don't like flowers. I'm supposed to take that to
00:13:20.140 that you do like flowers no this is not about you're not you're not you're you're you're not
00:13:23.980 getting it you're not getting this gary okay it's not about the lemons it's not about the flowers
00:13:27.660 it's not about the dishes it's just how many times do i have to drop hints about the ballet 0.99
00:13:32.620 you know i can't brooke come here we talked about the damn ballet i hate the goddamn ballet you got 0.99
00:13:38.540 a bunch of dudes in tights flopping around for three hours it's like a medieval techno show it's 1.00
00:13:42.860 a nightmare i sit there in the sweat the whole thing i do it when the hell's the goddamn nightmare 0.98
00:13:46.380 It's not about you loving the ballet, Gary. 0.98
00:13:49.700 It's about the person that you love loves the ballet,
00:13:52.100 and you want to spend time with that person.
00:13:54.280 Not when you're at the ballet.
00:13:55.180 Okay, forget the ballet. Forget the ballet.
00:13:57.420 We don't go anywhere together.
00:13:59.520 We just went to Ann Arbor together.
00:14:01.920 To Ann Arbor?
00:14:03.040 To the Michigan Notre Dame game?
00:14:05.160 You think screaming drunk kids and leprechauns doing backflips?
00:14:10.160 That's fun. That's fun for me.
00:14:12.100 Come on, man. I did that for you.
00:14:13.700 How do you show up for me?
00:14:15.220 i'm up on the bus every god so this is what i was saying before i do this i do this she doesn't
00:14:22.100 notice what he does she only notices what she does and when i hear women talk about this or 1.00
00:14:30.980 you know even at times where i've thought like this it's really it's a problem with the woman 0.99
00:14:36.660 because she is keeping score come on i'm busting my ass to be the best poor guy in the damn city 0.95
00:14:43.460 so i can make enough money to support both of us and hopefully you won't have to work one day 0.98
00:14:47.620 i want to work all i ask brooke is that you show a little bit of appreciation that i just get 20 0.97
00:14:52.900 minutes to relax when i come home instead of being attacked with questions and nag the whole damn 0.97
00:14:58.340 you think that i nag you that's all you do all you do is nag me the bathroom's a mess your belt 0.99
00:15:04.340 doesn't match hey girl you should probably go work out nothing i ever do is ever good enough
00:15:09.220 i just want to be left the hell alone really is that what you want gary is that what you want 0.70
00:15:15.620 yeah that's what you want yeah fine great do whatever the hell you want you leave your socks 1.00
00:15:19.780 all over this house dress like a pig play your stupid ass video game i don't care i'm done what 1.00
00:15:25.780 i am done i don't deserve this i really do not deserve this i deserve somebody who gives a 1.00
00:15:30.500 shit i'm not spending one more second of this life with some inconsiderate prick you're a prick 1.00
00:15:38.020 This is what I say. Usually when there's fights, it's kind of the woman's fault. She could have 1.00
00:15:41.620 just did the dishes. She could have just did the dishes, but now it's like this huge deal. You did,
00:15:46.580 you didn't do this, this, this, and this. She has every place that he fell short, which I am sure,
00:15:53.360 and this is the thing about men. They don't really bring up where we fall short. They really don't,
00:15:58.240 you know, men are much more forgiving women. It's like, we bring up things from like two years ago
00:16:03.860 on March 2nd, 2002, you did X, Y, and Z. And that's the issue with women. A lot of times we 1.00
00:16:12.580 have a harder time letting things go. Yeah. Okay. You guys get the idea. They broke up.
00:16:17.600 That was the end of the do the dishes. It's a median in which our minds communicate differently.
00:16:23.820 Yeah. And this was kind of one of the red pilling moments that I had interviewing a thousand people
00:16:31.700 was in the media, online, on YouTube, you always get the man's or the woman's point of view on
00:16:40.420 relationships. When the media publishes a movie, the woman is always an angel. The guy is always
00:16:48.360 the guy that didn't appreciate her, the bad guy who just yada, yada, yada. And when I interviewed
00:16:55.860 men about their side of the story. I mean, even that, right? You can see what the movie is getting
00:17:01.780 at. The movie is getting at that poor Jennifer Aniston. She does so much for this guy. He 0.92
00:17:09.540 doesn't appreciate her. He just behaves like a child. And she is the angelic woman who just
00:17:16.500 could do no wrong. You can tell it's written by a woman. It's written for women. And that scene 0.98
00:17:22.180 went viral because many women identified with it. And the issue you get with that mentality 0.54
00:17:29.000 is when you're keeping score and you're doing things to get things in return,
00:17:34.820 nobody wins. It's something I've seen in a lot of marriages, even from women of the older 0.69
00:17:41.420 generation. It's not just a young thing. Women have a really hard time letting things go and 1.00
00:17:46.900 not keeping score in relationships.