Pearl - Modern Mothers Regret Having Children ｜ Pearl Daily

00:00:00.000 what up guys can you hear me i need a one in the chat if you can hear me because

00:00:16.400 as you guys know i'm self-producing i'm sorry i'm late today i was trying to fix the zoom issue from

00:00:23.540 friday hopefully you didn't see me crash out on friday that was a little bit embarrassing but

00:00:28.720 you know what it says that the website isn't live let me try turning this on

00:00:35.680 on my laptop and seeing if this improves okay oh content

00:00:48.660 let me let me see is it on live on YouTube let's see all right let me fix the website really quick

00:01:04.160 and I'm gonna come back you know while you're waiting I'm gonna torture you guys whether you

00:01:09.680 like it or not I'm gonna make you listen to my mixtape so I found guys I found a song

00:01:18.540 that I got produced last year and I lost it um and now that I found it you are going to listen

00:01:27.200 to my mixtape while I figure this out and you might think pearl pearl so there's two edits I'd

00:01:34.060 like to make from this I'd like it to be a little bit faster I think this is slow I'd like to 1.25

00:01:40.840 it and put a couple buh bumps in so wait let me listen we don't yeah so this is me yes you're

00:01:48.520 are going to listen to my mixtape while i figure this out we don't party like we used to take me

00:01:57.480 back to 1992 everybody's acting brand new we're not looking across the room everybody is looking

00:02:10.200 down on their phones no one's around yeah we used to tear up the town now i don't hear a sound

00:02:24.200 people don't dance because somebody's watching

00:02:27.880 drink too much everybody's talking we used to rage like there was no stopping so put your hands up

00:02:36.760 everybody's walking put your phone down and get on the dance floor shake that booty like you never 0.57

00:02:44.940 did before look real steely yeah raise your hands let's get together and baby just dance

00:03:06.760 We used to snap a Polaroid Now the whole night's on record

00:03:14.380 I used to know who my neighbor was Now we really don't do that stuff

00:03:21.900 We used to go out and ding dong ditch Now that ring cam is the biggest snitch 1.00

00:03:29.280 Now all these young kids do is stream on Twitch

00:03:32.880 2020s are the biggest glitch.

00:03:37.640 People don't dance cause somebody's watching.

00:03:41.800 Drink too much, everybody's talking.

00:03:45.300 You used to rage like there was no stopping.

00:03:48.960 So put your hands up, everybody's rocking.

00:03:52.880 Put your phone down and get on the dance floor. 0.89

00:03:56.260 Shake that booty like you never did before. 0.99

00:04:00.000 look real silly yeah raise your hands let's get together baby just dance 0.98

00:04:07.960 okay i just want a little bit more of a baby get your move on okay listen to this lyric so i said 0.97

00:04:16.800 take a shot baby get your move on now get it 0.95

00:04:20.080 And be like Stella and get your groove on.

00:04:24.060 Be like Stella and get your groove on.

00:04:27.500 Take that shot, baby, get your groove on.

00:04:31.160 And be like Stella and get your groove on.

00:04:35.180 There ain't nothing that you can't do wrong.

00:04:39.060 Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

00:04:41.000 We don't party like we used to.

00:04:44.340 Take me back to 1992.

00:04:46.720 Yeah. So whether you like it or not, I'm going to start showing my mixtapes.

00:05:01.720 And if anyone doesn't like it, find a different show. I'm not here.

00:05:06.560 I did this show to be creative. I like having fun.

00:05:11.720 You know, I mean, who doesn't want to like put on a show? I just, you know,

00:05:15.920 Anyways, so I do want to put that on Spotify at some point.

00:05:21.940 Should I show you one more of my music career?

00:05:29.400 Should I show you one more?

00:05:34.380 This one.

00:05:36.500 I'm going to show you another.

00:05:37.960 I don't care.

00:05:38.680 This is my show.

00:05:39.840 You're forced.

00:05:41.400 You're forced.

00:05:43.260 You say, Pearl, Pearl, Pearl.

00:05:45.060 don't do that guess what you have no choice none

00:05:50.080 so this was a love song I haven't gotten this produced because I haven't found

00:05:58.660 a producer I'm happy with in the United States I haven't I there the guy that made this was

00:06:06.220 pretty good but he's in England and I had one you know what should I do

00:06:13.680 should i do a love song or the one i did with oh you know what no i have a different one

00:06:20.860 um where did i where is this one

00:06:24.280 um what is it it's

00:06:32.180 okay you know what i'll show that one tomorrow but the love song i know where it's at

00:06:40.000 because I put it on Twitter once.

00:06:45.820 Forced.

00:06:47.880 You're forced.

00:06:51.060 Where the hell is it?

00:06:55.460 Oh, wait, I sent it to the radio guy too.

00:07:01.900 Yeah, because they're going to put me on the,

00:07:04.320 allegedly, they're going to put me on the radio.

00:07:10.000 oh here it is is this one

00:07:13.440 okay this one is so clever it's called addictive now

00:07:24.740 this one they they auto-tuned my voice too much it wasn't as good back then

00:07:32.380 I'm just going to do the chorus, right?

00:07:36.380 I've been shaking every day since I had to leave.

00:07:41.380 It's not what I wanted, but you're no good for me.

00:07:47.380 But it's 2 AM, and I'm missing you.

00:07:52.380 And I found myself calling you, saying, babe, come over.

00:07:59.380 Let's do this over.

00:08:01.380 Now, the best part of this is the chorus.

00:08:20.380 You ready?

00:08:21.380 You're high risk.

00:08:23.380 Where did it go? 0.88

00:08:25.380 I'm a love addict, this feeling is fatal, mentally unstable.

00:08:34.080 You should've come, with a warning label, you should've come, with a warning label.

00:08:45.320 You should've come, with a warning label.

00:08:50.040 Isn't that clever?

00:08:51.520 A warning label.

00:08:53.140 Okay.

00:08:54.140 I'm done.

00:08:55.140 I might torture you every show with my music in the beginning

00:09:00.160 because I just really like music.

00:09:03.760 Is this the one where I put it?

00:09:06.100 Oh, no.

00:09:06.880 I don't think this is the one.

00:09:10.600 I think there's one.

00:09:12.460 No.

00:09:13.920 No.

00:09:14.820 Sabo was on one.

00:09:19.060 And I was trying to remember what it was.

00:09:22.780 Release these, Pearl.

00:09:23.940 I'm going to.

00:09:25.140 I'm going to, but they're just not perfect.

00:09:28.020 Like that one I made too long and I want to make it shorter.

00:09:32.220 And I just haven't had the time to go find a producer.

00:09:35.240 If you're a producer, message me on Twitter.

00:09:37.000 That's like the best way to find me.

00:09:42.320 And, you know, the news pays me a little bit more.

00:09:45.720 You know what I mean?

00:09:48.160 That's a good question.

00:09:49.160 If you had a warning label, what would it be?

00:09:55.140 Okay, so let's get into today's topic. Thank you guys so much for bearing with me. I know Friday

00:10:04.940 was kind of crazy with all the tech issues and I do apologize for, I always want to give you guys

00:10:10.780 the best show, so I do apologize for getting frustrated on stream and rage quitting. That

00:10:16.380 was pretty embarrassing for me. It was not my proudest moment, but we did fix the Zoom today.

00:10:23.520 thank you god um so i do i do want to apologize to my audience for that it wasn't my proudest

00:10:30.060 moment demonetization has been very frustrating um and that's why i'm trying to get as many people

00:10:35.600 on the website as possible and you guys have been doing awesome we can almost cover um a producer's

00:10:41.680 salary on the website my goal is to be able to do a producer's salary and then rent and then um

00:10:50.120 ideally our third employee that works directly for the show i have like um

00:10:56.120 i also do consulting for youtubers if anyone anyone's interested on average i get people

00:11:03.300 100 000 followers in six months please if you're broke don't message me that's not cheap i save you

00:11:09.840 like three to five years of work um and it's expensive but i like to work with smart guys

00:11:15.960 that are really intelligent in a topic, but just don't want to do the work of YouTube,

00:11:21.100 that's where I come in. But on the website, what my goal is, is to pay for this entire show on its

00:11:29.160 own, which would mean two full-time employees. So we're almost to one on the website. And what

00:11:35.580 you're going to get in return is I do read the chat on the website. Now you're thinking, Pearl,

00:11:40.780 get to the point i don't care i'm taking my time today i just don't now normally you know youtubers

00:11:48.380 you have to do a super chat every time you want them to read it on the website i just read it i

00:11:54.540 have a vision also for this where in the future i would like to bring in maybe some of the if we get

00:12:01.100 the right investors i'd like to make movies and bring in some of the like writers that maybe got

00:12:07.660 axed out of hollywood and produce you know i'd bring weinstein back no he's in jail i can't do

00:12:16.220 that but you know you guys get the idea um dan says it's very amy winehouse thank you dane fazelle

00:12:24.220 said dang pearl just saw the audacity network notification while opening up my mackalian ate

00:12:29.420 this is going to be lit also i find that sometimes when i talk about my problems on live streams you

00:12:35.420 guys help me solve them i don't know so i'm just gonna you know the other challenge is um

00:12:43.340 i go back and forth to dallas a lot and sometimes this schedule gets messed up when i'm in dallas

00:12:50.220 and we're looking for youtubers in that area that want to go in on a studio i have all the equipment

00:12:55.820 to do this grade level you know and you really the other youtubers could use the studio for free

00:13:02.700 i just need them to pitch in on rent so anyways or i don't know if it'll be

00:13:11.980 look pearl reed you should check out an account on x called digney ai they use ai to cover women's 1.00

00:13:19.480 degenerate behavior on instagram and the women were screaming about it a year ago it's right up 0.99

00:13:25.200 your alley yeah you know people sign up um yeah people sign up subscriptions so pearl can hire me 0.82

00:13:35.280 damn it yeah you know um my dad's been really helpful in this but at some point you know i 0.82

00:13:43.200 want to i want to fly i want to get out of here i mean i feel like kind of a loser sometime maybe 0.96

00:13:50.240 you know it is what it is but that that's the goal with the network because youtube

00:13:54.720 did demonetize me i reapplied october 22nd they said they would get back to me within a month

00:14:02.960 guys it's february we are on february 23rd they have not gotten back to me if i had money i'd go

00:14:10.160 to a lawyer and i would sue or something but you know it is what it is

00:14:16.240 anyways yeah the the website is on both app stores so it's on

00:14:24.920 apple apps and it's also on um whatever it is samsung i forget

00:14:31.240 so anyways when i do talk on these shows i talk about my experience of interviewing

00:14:38.960 a thousand women and you know there's some things i sort of i don't want to say regret

00:14:44.920 in my career because it's how I felt at the time but I maybe would have done a little differently

00:14:50.860 and I used to moralize more than I'm really proud of it's kind of embarrassing now

00:14:55.060 you know and I would talk about things that I thought were good and thought were bad and

00:14:59.760 you know you you get to think and you're just like well it doesn't really matter what I think

00:15:04.060 is good and bad because you know the world is how it is everybody has an opinion on things

00:15:10.600 and the switch I've tried to make in my content moving forward is I want to be

00:15:16.940 more you know for example I would say women shouldn't vote however it doesn't really 1.00

00:15:26.180 matter what I think because they can't and it's not really realistic that in our lifetime that's

00:15:32.540 going to change as much as we'd like it to so what's the point you see what I'm saying

00:15:38.660 Okay. Now, one thing when I went in, I thought that women were, if they did not have kids, 1.00

00:15:48.460 that I thought that every woman should have children. And I thought this because single 1.00

00:15:53.800 childless women, older single childless women are the most unhappy. But, you know, as I interviewed

00:16:00.820 a thousand women, I met a lot of characters and you meet a lot of different types of people. 1.00

00:16:05.140 And to be fair, the firmware on women is very similar.

00:16:09.340 Like all women have the same programming, but people are different. 0.99

00:16:13.380 And what you have with young women is you have a lot of adult children. 0.84

00:16:18.300 They're women, you know, that maybe have the mind like they're 30, 35, but mentally they're like 19, 18, 12. 1.00

00:16:29.040 And you realize that a lot of women are not responsible and they're too selfish to have children. 0.99

00:16:35.140 Now, I do think women do the second half of life, once their looks fade, have a very difficult time with this. 0.99

00:16:44.360 You know, it's not until you get sick and you don't, and you have to pay someone to take care of you that you have that problem.

00:16:52.660 But then again, I also don't think that you should have children to take care of you when you're old.

00:16:59.200 I don't think, I think when you have kids, you want what's best for them and you don't want to take anything from them.

00:17:08.140 You know, if you choose to bring a child into this world, I don't think they're responsible for you.

00:17:13.040 Like a lot of mothers do that. 1.00

00:17:14.520 They expect that their children will take care of them when they're old.

00:17:19.240 So they make any negative financial choice in their life and they expect their children to bail them out of it.

00:17:25.980 I don't think that's fair for the child.

00:17:29.200 and you meet a lot of young women that are completely held back in life because they have

00:17:34.960 to take care of their mother because she wanted to do she wanted to divorce or she wanted to do

00:17:40.720 what she wanted to do and you know i've talked a lot about the modern woman life cycle and we

00:17:46.800 have established that on pearl daily i think it's pretty accurate and i've sent it to other creators

00:17:52.080 that i know and they're verified on its validity i'm not going to recap the whole thing you know

00:17:58.080 today but you can go back to my previous episodes of pearl daily to hear the whole thing

00:18:03.280 but today we're going to talk about points four and five of the modern woman life cycle with

00:18:07.600 number four being modern women will wake up between the ages of 33 to 37 rush to have kids 1.00

00:18:13.200 find a husband or both and number five being modern women will hit the wall in their late 30s 1.00

00:18:20.080 and try to get pregnant through ivf modern women will rush to have kids and some of them will in 1.00

00:18:24.880 in fact, get what they want. They will find a man who is irresponsible to have a kid and become

00:18:31.160 a single mother. They will get inseminated through IVF and become single mothers by choice. 0.87

00:18:38.300 And, you know, there is a growing group of women that admit they wished they had kids sooner.

00:18:45.660 They admit that, you know, raising a child when they're older was a whole set of problems they

00:18:50.380 didn't anticipate. And that's what we're going to talk about today. Modern women that 0.90

00:18:56.040 sorry, I messed this up a little bit. We're not talking about modern women that wish they had 1.00

00:19:14.440 kids sooner we're going to talk about where oh my gosh oh my gosh guys this is so embarrassing

00:19:28.820 it is what it is

00:19:31.120 i have a script for a different show and i just read it oh my gosh what is my life recently this

00:19:41.160 is this is so embarrassing you know you know I just got to be honest guys I've been taking L's

00:20:03.320 this just is not my week this just is not my week I am so sorry I know you guys are saying

00:20:13.740 well this is what it is I'm gonna do it now I'm gonna do the real one

00:20:17.900 you know guys you know sometimes when you're in show business

00:20:23.960 I was really focused on the production today and fixing some stuff so this just is what it is

00:20:31.980 Okay, so that's my show for later this week that we are going to do.

00:20:37.860 But let me tell you about the real show.

00:20:39.740 But before I do, guys, today, this is my sponsor, Chad Mode, and they will increase your testosterone by 20%.

00:20:48.580 It's a pre-workout.

00:20:50.060 I used it in my marathon.

00:20:51.320 It completely changes the color of your drink.

00:20:53.620 It's really good.

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00:20:58.560 It's lemon, maple, cherry.

00:20:59.620 You can use pearl.

00:21:00.860 um that's the second link in the description you get 20 off okay so let's talk today modern women 1.00

00:21:07.180 have many flaws they are 304s and they do get pregnant out of wedlock and become single mothers 1.00

00:21:12.620 um student loan debt feminism it's just really it's not a great thing but the worst thing about 0.97

00:21:19.020 modern women is they just you know can't keep their mouth mouth shut you know there are things 1.00

00:21:23.900 in the olden days that you know modern women you know need to share everything on social media 0.99

00:21:32.620 and before we had like community outlets where you could like express yourself and it wouldn't

00:21:38.060 be plastered to the whole town like yeah people would talk but it's not like everybody would know

00:21:44.140 your business but you know things in the past women would take to their graves you know modern 0.99

00:21:50.220 but now modern women will record and upload onto social media for the whole world to 1.00

00:21:55.740 to see you know they'll talk about stds bad financial decisions being a sex worker it's

00:22:00.940 really all on tick tock and instagram somewhere along the way it became okay for modern women 1.00

00:22:06.860 that have kids to say they wish they never had kids let that sink in for a second these are women 1.00

00:22:15.340 that have children some of them are married and they're okay with putting it out into the world

00:22:20.860 that they wish they never had children once something's on the internet it's forever and

00:22:25.340 you know there's a high likelihood that their kids will literally find these videos when they get

00:22:29.580 older and they have no idea how the kids will feel about it you know women in the past used 1.00

00:22:36.220 to pride themselves and being a wife and mother raising children to be successful responsible

00:22:41.500 adults with the measure of a woman. Those days are gone. You see stories of women talking about

00:22:49.980 how they had to give up to become a mother. The fear of missing out and sacrifices of becoming

00:22:55.000 a mother are too much on many modern women. So this is, again, remember, being a young woman

00:22:59.780 today is being a celebrity. When you go into the cities and you're an attractive or even average

00:23:05.020 woman, you get to invite it onto yacht parties. You get to see your friends living high-flying 0.83

00:23:10.580 lifestyle careers. So yeah, they feel like they missed out. That's why the divorce rate is lowest

00:23:17.040 when women get married between 25 and 30. And my guess is it's going to rise because, you know,

00:23:24.960 and it kind of correlates with the abortion rate. Like the number one most aborted kids are between

00:23:30.260 20 and 25 and then 25 to 30 is second. I think you're going to keep seeing it go up as technology

00:23:35.920 gets better and women keep pushing off motherhood women would push it off till the very last minute 1.00

00:23:41.000 if they could because being a young woman is fun it's really that simple it's not 1.00

00:23:47.020 you know they they basically you know we're in a mansion and by the like by the end of partying

00:23:56.020 all night they're in a bunch of debt bunch of stds all this stuff and they expect the guy to

00:24:01.640 bail them out. So, you know, that's what we're going to talk about on today's show.

00:24:06.760 The audacity of women that write articles or go on social media and say they don't want kids. 0.98

00:24:12.800 Today's modern women are some of the most selfish women ever. And the selfishness 1.00

00:24:17.440 shows itself in many ways. It's never okay to do something like this. It's selfish,

00:24:22.600 inconsiderate, and damaging to the children. Like, guys, go talk to your girlfriend. This is,

00:24:27.500 I, you know, I think this is the challenge. Everything's becoming more parasocial.

00:24:32.820 So it's not that mothers didn't regret their kids before, but there was two things that were

00:24:38.660 changed. One, the alternative wasn't as fun. So, I mean, I would guess a lot of this started in

00:24:47.340 the twenties with the roaring twenties. That's like when you saw the birth rates start to go

00:24:51.320 down. So are there writings of women regretting this stuff? Yes, there are women. It's like the 0.95

00:24:59.740 same hardware, but the environment was different. So before the alternative was death, you know,

00:25:06.780 if you didn't get with a guy, death was the alternative. Then the alternative became, well,

00:25:12.300 if you don't get with a guy, you know, you can't really work. There's not a bunch of opportunities

00:25:17.080 for you then they gave us opportunities and they're like well if you don't get with a guy

00:25:22.580 now you're missing out you're missing out on this fun stuff so again women have felt this way in the 0.77

00:25:32.700 past but you know before they could confide in real life friends but everything's could be

00:25:39.020 coming more online and people are finding online communities such as this one go to the audacity

00:25:44.620 network.com we got fazelle in the chat saying pearl is a beast i don't feel like a beast this

00:25:50.940 week you know this has been a rough couple shows but you know i appreciate you guys for sticking

00:25:56.220 by me okay now i'm gonna try a camera switcher on my um on my ipad so we're gonna see if this works

00:26:08.220 all right let's see what we got let's see

00:26:14.620 my mother was a single mom in between boyfriends my childhood was oh so confusing yeah and the

00:26:22.080 thing about the rp guys is it makes a lot of things about your childhood and like life in

00:26:26.700 general just makes sense there's a little bit of a lag on the stream so oh that is not the camera i

00:26:34.260 looking for okay let's let's see if it's this one

00:26:48.900 we're gonna we're gonna wait for it to update you know but you know that's that's truly what i

00:26:56.740 liked about the red pill was it just it's not that one either it just made my life make sense

00:27:04.260 jesse rough mode here we go with the tech issues okay george start your own show start you you do

00:27:12.720 it you know we're gonna get better charles pearl reed social media and the internet plus the

00:27:18.420 feminist movement is going to be the downfall of women in the first nations the selfishness 1.00

00:27:23.180 of woman is off the rails that's why men are mig tau okay it's cam threes to the 1.00

00:27:29.800 is there one that lets me do both on this one otherwise I'm gonna have to stand up

00:27:37.300 but anyways when I did my interviewing a thousand women what I what I I couldn't believe it because

00:27:49.820 I really thought that it was the biggest travesty if a woman never had a child but some women are 1.00

00:27:55.000 so selfish. They're so selfish that I would beg them not to 0.97

00:28:02.440 have a child if I'm being honest. Well, let me do it at the same 0.98

00:28:07.100 time for some reason. Okay. Well, we're just going to stay on

00:28:10.240 this page. Okay. This is from a woman that wishes she never had 0.82

00:28:15.360 children. I wish I never had kids. Now they're grown and

00:28:18.200 don't talk to me. I wasted my life raising three ungrateful 0.53

00:28:22.140 selfish people. After being totally cut off by her three adult children, one mother says she wished 0.88

00:28:31.560 she never had them in the first place. If she were getting a second chance, she admitted she'd choose

00:28:37.040 to travel over starting a family. I'm in my 60s and if I had to do it over, I would not have had

00:28:44.020 children, she said. She explained that she found herself forced to raise children on her own after

00:28:49.260 her marriage ended. My husband was no help. We divorced when my children were 7, 11, and 15.

00:28:56.420 I was a single mother who didn't get child support and had no family nearby to help me.

00:29:01.700 To keep food on the table, she juggled working multiple jobs while caring for her kids. 0.81

00:29:06.820 It was a constant struggle to keep a roof over our head, and I often worked two jobs, she said.

00:29:13.200 I did a lot of this. I did this. I did it without a lot of the things I wanted and couldn't pursue

00:29:19.020 my own interests. Cece added that her relationship with her children soured as they aged. After they

00:29:25.000 were grown, we had a good relationship for a while, but one child is a narcissist and made

00:29:28.840 up a bunch of lies about me because I wouldn't allow him to manipulate me. What do we think

00:29:33.820 really happened? Put it in the chat. It was a power play on his part, and he eventually turned

00:29:39.120 my other two children against me. This started in 2016 and I have no contact with any of

00:29:44.100 them. I wasted the best year of my life on three ungrateful, selfish people, and I wish

00:29:48.900 I'd stayed single and free and traveled the world. She warned parents considering kids

00:29:53.600 to weigh the pros and cons. Self-described estranged parents have taken to TikTok to

00:30:00.400 bemoan their relationships or lack thereof with their adult children. Some have described

00:30:04.640 the problem as an epidemic, saying their adult children in their 20s, 30s, and 40s are

00:30:08.960 cutting them off off their moms and dads for unfair reason one tiktok user who goes by fired

00:30:15.160 mom has racked up millions of views on her videos in which she describes not having a relationship

00:30:19.940 with any of her children other videos under estranged parent hashtag feature baby boomer

00:30:25.440 and gen x parents venting about their kids going no contact with them the idea however has been

00:30:32.180 met with the backlash from gen z and millennial adults who insisted that some of these estranged

00:30:37.440 parents don't respect their boundaries and refuse to acknowledge the things they've done wrong

00:30:41.360 people think babies and toddlers are so cute and that's the end of the story it's not no matter how

00:30:47.180 good of a parent you are there is no guarantee that people you create won't turn on you she said

00:30:53.380 parental estrangement is an epidemic i have found we are vilified for the stupidest things and no

00:30:59.440 matter how many times you apologize there's no forgiveness there's no upside now i do what i want 0.70

00:31:05.800 and I go and I spend money where I want. I'm done with the crying, although it took a long

00:31:12.320 time to get here. My advice to women, don't get married, don't have kids and live free and be 1.00

00:31:18.200 happy. What do we think? I want to put in the chat on the website what you think happened.

00:31:26.320 Doug on the website says, too many modern mothers are scumbags. We trash fathers all the time, 1.00

00:31:33.000 but give mothers a pass. That needs to stop. Mothers destroy their children and are not held 1.00

00:31:37.920 accountable. An Australian woman wishes she never had children. Let me go back to four. 1.00

00:31:49.000 Mom admits, I wish I'd never had my kids. I'll always regret them. A mom has admitted that her

00:31:55.320 life was better before she had children. In a blog post to kidspot.com.au, the unnamed mom of

00:32:05.100 two confessed something many parents would usually shy away from ever confessing. She admitted that

00:32:10.100 her life was better before having children. I'm a mother of two, but I wish I was a mother of none,

00:32:14.920 she started. Yes, I preferred my life without kids. I preferred it so much that I'd wish

00:32:20.060 that I'd never had them. Before continuing, she added a disclaimer stating that before people

00:32:27.780 judge her for her admission, she wants to emphasize that she loves her kids. I want to

00:32:32.140 declare that I do love my boys with all my heart. Don't confuse my perspective with not loving my

00:32:37.060 kids, she said. I'm not depressed, nor do I have any sort of mental health condition that makes me

00:32:41.980 in any sort of danger or risk to my children or impacting how I feel in some way. The mom then

00:32:48.420 doubled down on her views. In all honesty, it's quite simple and straightforward. Yet, I suppose

00:32:54.500 it's not ever said out loud by many people. I wish I didn't have my two children because I think my

00:32:59.660 life would be better without them, she said, because it was better without them. She then went

00:33:04.240 on to reminisce about the past. Before I had my two boys, my life was amazing. I absolutely adored

00:33:09.960 my career and my husband and I were extremely happy together. We traveled and had an incredible

00:33:14.140 social life. We were like some sort of rom-com montage of two people falling in love and living

00:33:21.060 their best lives, but real. It wasn't just a phase. We were like this for 10 years, and we decided to

00:33:26.500 start having children, and once our first child arrived, things changed, and not for the better.

00:33:32.320 Despite this, though, the pair always said they wanted to have children together at some point,

00:33:37.540 and then she became pregnant with her first child. We were excited about our first son's arrival,

00:33:42.880 And when it didn't happen, the reality just didn't meet the expectations, she writes.

00:33:47.900 I love him, of course, but he was an easy baby in terms of sleeping and feeding and everything that makes a baby easy.

00:33:54.060 But I just didn't love being a mom.

00:33:55.620 I didn't love anything about it.

00:33:57.540 She went on to say that she felt restricted by her own child and she ended up becoming a person she never wanted to be.

00:34:06.460 And things only seemed to get worse when the pair had a second child, another boy.

00:34:10.460 We never wanted to have an only child for a variety of reasons.

00:34:14.980 And although I shared my feelings about motherhood with my husband, after discussing it, we thought maybe a second child would change.

00:34:22.240 She wrote in her blog post, needless to say, it didn't.

00:34:25.920 So what were the main reasons for these overwhelming feelings?

00:34:30.960 My career is now more of a job, she said.

00:34:33.400 While I still hold the same position, I'm part-time and I can't invest in it the way I had once had.

00:34:38.220 which is part of the reason I loved it so much.

00:34:40.780 It gave me purpose, ambition, and the drive that fueled everything else.

00:34:44.980 Now it's like a little rev engine

00:34:47.780 and a stall until the following week when I can rev it up again,

00:34:54.660 but it never goes anywhere.

00:34:56.400 My social life is also lacking, she confessed.

00:34:59.020 Now it's usually based around my children and my friends

00:35:02.320 who have children doing things together with our children.

00:35:05.000 While I understand that some people love this sort of thing,

00:35:07.880 I don't. Even if it was just the odd occasion, it would be great to do some social activities

00:35:12.880 with my friends without my kids, without their kids, without talking about kids like what it

00:35:17.960 used to be like. After discussing a few more of her experiences, she concluded that if she knew

00:35:24.760 what life would be like after having children, she never would have had them. Yet despite the

00:35:29.040 belief that children are often glorified as the greatest thing a person can do, this mom has

00:35:35.560 started a conversation that I'm sure many parents wanted to have okay women who regret having kids 1.00

00:35:45.840 we have a video here tell me if the audio is okay I consider myself someone that stands 10

00:35:54.600 does down on the fact that I regret motherhood it's like I don't like regret my daughter I

00:35:59.120 regret the role I think people are rubbed the wrong way about it because most moms feel that 0.94

00:36:03.380 And you're not allowed to say it. There is an anxiety that I have developed having a child that never lived in me before at all. The fear of even when she's not with me and I don't have to be selfless. I'm still thinking about is somebody going to hurt her? Is an earthquake going to happen? A mother is like who I am like at my core. Because of that it consumes a lot of my thoughts and I hate that.

00:36:27.820 i need space from my child in order to be a good parent i can play as much as a 34 year old woman 0.52

00:36:33.900 can play yeah but like feeling guilty about that too like i chose to be a mother you're supposed

00:36:38.620 to love every part one day she's not gonna want to play she's not gonna want to play you're gonna

00:36:41.660 wish she's like no i won't i'm going to say something that will make some people upset

00:36:46.220 i think we need to normalize regretting yeah so in all honesty what happens these mothers resent

00:36:53.980 their children not i do not think i think there's a lot of women that shouldn't have kids 1.00

00:37:03.020 and i used to think they wouldn't be fulfilled or whatever they weren't going to be fulfilled anyway

00:37:09.980 do you know what i mean like they weren't yeah okay having your children i'm a therapist and

00:37:16.780 I work with kids teens young adults as well as parents and there are so many parents who have

00:37:24.380 been vulnerable enough with me in their therapy sessions to admit that they regret having their

00:37:30.940 children now before you shame those parents these are really really good parents now these aren't

00:37:36.540 all parents that I work with it's just a emotion that does come up in therapy that I don't think

00:37:42.860 really gets talked about because if they were to say some of these words out loud or to other people

00:37:49.420 they would get shamed for it and don't get me wrong these are amazing parents they're great

00:37:54.380 parents they love their children they would do anything for their children they would never give

00:37:59.820 their children up but it's just talking about the emotion of regretting having them i would much

00:38:06.780 rather regret not having children than regret having children later in life a book that seriously

00:38:12.700 shifted my perspective on this is called regretting motherhood i listened to it on audible and as a

00:38:21.340 intentional non-parent i think it's really great that this conversation is being had prior to

00:38:28.060 having children everybody featured in that book had already had children while the sample of the

00:38:34.300 women in this book is very culturally limited in my opinion for me it would still be a soft 1.00

00:38:41.340 recommendation especially for anyone who is coming from a culture where motherhood is just

00:38:47.260 absolutely expected of you the women featured in this book definitely were and reading this book

00:38:52.780 you realize that the amount of women who feel this way but cannot outwardly admit it to anyone

00:39:02.860 accept to do so anonymously is massive additionally kids understand exactly how you feel and if you

00:39:12.700 regret them children are by and large intuitive when it comes to what do you guys think should

00:39:21.020 women that don't have children have them anyway put it in the chat i'm gonna do a call-in 1.00

00:39:26.780 by god willing god help me i'm doing a call-in

00:39:32.300 the feelings of their parents we by and large underestimate kids and underestimate that specific

00:39:41.540 hurt not everyone's gonna admit to this but i hate being a mom okay so while i may not feel

00:39:49.900 the same way that this mom does about motherhood i can empathize with how she's feeling i feel like

00:39:55.320 there are a lot of reasons why a lot of women hate motherhood. And a lot will not admit it because 1.00

00:40:00.480 everyone's in a competition to have the most perfect, ideal, great, wonderful life and be the

00:40:06.800 perfect mom. I think it's partly the expectations that we as a society put on women. It's in general,

00:40:13.160 but then when women become mothers, there are these expectations that are put on us as mothers

00:40:18.980 that fathers don't have. Almost every mom I know would rather be a dad. No one expects dads to be

00:40:25.160 up all night doing the diaper changes or handling any tantrums or doing the appointments for the

00:40:31.160 doctors or the school stuff or any of it but dad simply just exists in the same house as his kids 0.96

00:40:36.840 he's given the award for the best dad of the fucking century it's the moms who have to pick 1.00

00:40:40.600 up all the slack who are expected to moms are never expected to take a break never expected 1.00

00:40:45.480 to take a sick day moms are not allowed to have a man cold and get taken care of having all this 1.00

00:40:49.800 really moms aren't allowed to take a sick day we have a whole mother's day dedicated to mothers 0.94

00:40:58.080 no one cares about father's day nobody put on you and people you're not expecting oh i'm actually

00:41:04.120 going to read the chat on the website fazelle says single moms treat their kids like trophies

00:41:09.060 only polished for display and support but never truly value them um doug uh anna well who's where

00:41:16.140 is this article from doug could you tell her um he can find it for you who is the first person to

00:41:22.440 call doug says who is the first person to call a young girl too fat too thin too dark too light 1.00

00:41:27.880 dressed like a slut you look like your deadbeat dad her mother mothers create all of the insecurities 1.00

00:41:33.840 in their daughters to ask for help and when you do ask for help you're like oh well you shouldn't 1.00

00:41:39.220 have been a mother if you need help whatever other snarky shitty comment people make about 0.95

00:41:43.420 moms wanting to take a big when i go on a vacation by myself every year and like clockwork 0.97

00:41:51.500 she goes on a vacation by herself every year god these women are so selfish you don't want to bring 1.00

00:41:57.740 your husband or maybe she doesn't have one we'll see people if i post it to my facebook people are

00:42:04.300 like oh no oh no she where are your kids they have a father he knows their allergies he ain't

00:42:10.860 go and call and bother me while i'm on my vacation most women don't have she's for the streets a 1.00

00:42:16.140 village it's like the village ups and runs away when you have a baby i've seen this happen to

00:42:20.940 almost every mom i know i think about all the people i know like close to me that are mothers

00:42:26.060 i'm one of the only ones that has a support system that i can depend on i'm one of the only

00:42:30.380 ones that gets to take breaks i feel extremely fortunate but that should be a norm that shouldn't

00:42:34.780 be the exception to the rule you've got a lot of burnt out mothers who are at the end of their 1.00

00:42:39.260 mental ropes no room to breathe no room to regroup and recharge we end up with resentful hurt bitter

00:42:49.500 moms who hate motherhood who don't think they should have been mothers it's not just because 0.99

00:42:53.580 of a personal issue with them this is a much bigger issue in a much bigger picture i really

00:42:59.820 think we as a society need to address that how mothers have such little help mothers have to 0.79

00:43:04.540 suffer in silence because if they admit to feeling defeated you get this shitty pushback oh you're 0.94

00:43:09.420 a horrible mother what if your kids see this if we were supporting mothers like we should 0.99

00:43:13.500 maybe they wouldn't come online so upset maybe they wouldn't be so burnt out and touched out

00:43:17.980 these are women begging for help and we need to help them if any of you had a mother that 1.00

00:43:22.380 regretted they had you you should call in later are you actually curious why i don't like motherhood

00:43:28.140 i'd love to tell you because society thinks that maternity leave is a vacation because people think

00:43:34.300 that stay-at-home moms don't work because child care is astronomically high because we don't 0.95

00:43:39.900 think that moms work but we expect families to pay for the child care for their children as if 1.00

00:43:45.500 it's actually work that men actually make more when they become fathers and women make less

00:43:50.620 if they even stay in the workforce that moms like you have a different experience of motherhood so 0.52

00:43:57.020 think that they can go judge other moms for having a different experience of motherhood

00:44:01.580 because i'm expected to disappear because i'm a mom now and not have any dreams and i'm judged

00:44:07.580 for having dreams when i finally realize i'm a human and i'm still allowed to have them

00:44:12.700 and i think that's it for now but please get the off my page okay so they're openly talking about

00:44:20.060 how they regret having children the audacity of these women okay women say it's crazy that women 1.00

00:44:27.580 go on the internet and admit they regret having kids i think it is so weird and kind of not cool

00:44:35.100 to get on the internet and talk about how you regret your decision to have kids in the name of

00:44:39.980 like informing the masses or making sure people know to really think about it before they have

00:44:44.780 kids like you're not doing it for that reason you just want to say that it's so bubbling up inside

00:44:50.780 you that you regret having children that you just you have to spit that out i guess but is the

00:44:55.500 internet really the place to do that and before people flip out yes there is sometimes a toxic

00:45:01.020 positivity stance on pretty much anything but about having kids like oh it's magical everything's

00:45:05.820 amazing it's much more difficult than it seems and i don't think it's wrong to talk about things

00:45:10.540 that are more difficult than people expect but here's a scenario for you right you're scrolling

00:45:15.420 on tick tock boom your boyfriend's face pops up you think oh what does he have to say and he says

00:45:20.540 Oh, you know what? I love my girlfriend, right? I love her. She's the most amazing. I would only

00:45:27.040 ever want to be with her. Being in a relationship with her is just, oh, I would do it a thousand

00:45:31.140 times over again. But you know what? I miss being single. I miss when I had all the freedom in the

00:45:36.560 world to do everything that I wanted. I didn't have to pick up the phone and call her. I didn't

00:45:39.360 have to pick up the phone and text her. Like being in a relationship is much harder than people give

00:45:43.620 it credit for. All my dreams are kind of crushed because I wanted to do all of these things are

00:45:47.740 not really possible whenever you're in a long-term relationship. And then I'm gonna have to get

00:45:51.080 married. I'm gonna be tied down with this person forever. I'm never gonna go on another first date

00:45:56.580 again. And now that I have my girlfriend and I love her, yeah, I am probably gonna marry her and

00:46:01.600 I'll be happy in some ways. But here's a hot take for you. Guys, it's not worth it. Are you gonna

00:46:06.880 come across that video and think, oh, he's just venting some pretty normal concerns? And he said

00:46:11.700 he loved me like a bunch of times. So that's what I'm gonna take away from it. My boyfriend loves me

00:46:15.980 and he just needed to vent that's okay i highly doubt that would be your response you would think

00:46:20.540 huh these are lots of really um concerning issues you're bringing up you clearly don't want to be in

00:46:25.500 a relationship and why are you posting it on the internet for everybody to see so just because

00:46:30.060 your kid's a baby or they're like young and they don't have a tick tock you can get on the internet

00:46:34.700 and talk like that i don't know i i get that people need to vent but like that's a thing you

00:46:39.580 talk to your therapist about you have postpartum depression there are some things in your life that

00:46:44.140 need rearranging any number of things could help that feeling you're having and i'm not saying you

00:46:48.460 shouldn't talk to young people about like what's hard about being a parent but there's a big viral

00:46:52.860 video going around of a woman talking about how she's super disappointed with being a parent while

00:46:57.500 holding her baby by the way and i feel so deeply for that mom because i can tell like she's really

00:47:02.460 really struggling and she's not the only one i've seen this from this is like a common thing across

00:47:07.260 the internet which leads me to say i don't actually agree that the overall theme about

00:47:12.140 parenting is now toxically positive i actually think the opposite every time i ever tell people

00:47:17.340 anything about something my kid's doing like oh she's about to walk they're like oh just wait till

00:47:20.620 she walks your life's gonna be over they always have a just wait that's a negative thing or like

00:47:24.620 wait till she's a teenager and she never shuts up and blah blah mostly i get negativity but

00:47:29.100 i digress but yes just like every single thing in life that is worth doing being a parent takes work

00:47:36.060 it's tough it has its good moments and its bad moments and we should all feel open to sharing

00:47:40.220 what those things are but to say i regret having my children that's weird dude i got on lexapro

00:47:46.940 whenever i had the baby working wonders and for everyone who's on the fence about having kids not

00:47:51.660 people who've said i don't want kids i'm not trying to convince anybody who doesn't want

00:47:55.020 children to have them but if you're on the fence and all you see are these negative things i'm here

00:47:59.580 to say that continue to critically think about whether you want kids or not yes you should be

00:48:04.700 sure that this is the right time this is the right partner that you really do in fact want kids just

00:48:09.020 know that everybody has different experiences just because somebody has a good or a bad

00:48:12.700 experience doesn't mean that you're gonna have that exact same thing happen to you and it is worth it

00:48:21.740 yeah so women have the audacity to go online and complain that they don't like their children 1.00

00:48:28.380 i can't even believe this stuff that woman was completely right she was right 1.00

00:48:32.460 no i am okay so now we're gonna do another woman here we go not giving you a safe place to talk 1.00

00:48:39.840 about how you don't want to be a mother and how that's the biggest regret that you've ever had

00:48:43.120 in your life unpopular opinion but i don't believe everything deserves a safe place i don't know

00:48:48.540 oh that was funny i like her she says not everything deserves a safe place oh that's

00:48:59.260 hilarious i really don't care because to get online like i can get you're having these

00:49:05.040 conversations like person to person like y'all don't do like on like your mom on the phone with 0.97

00:49:10.540 your auntie being messy conversations no more like y'all instantly bring shit to tiktok and my heart 0.95

00:49:15.960 goes out to those kids when they get older because as much as y'all think y'all hide the way 0.98

00:49:20.220 y'all actually feel them kids feel how much you don't want to be a mother i don't care what y'all

00:49:25.500 say that energy of regret that you have is definitely transferring to your kids and guess 0.99

00:49:30.160 how i know it is because y'all are making the videos with the baby in y'all hand what the fuck 0.98

00:49:35.040 oh she's so funny i will never make it a safe place online for you to come and talk about how 0.99

00:49:46.780 much you hate motherhood when in my opinion there's lots of ways to terminate and avoid

00:49:54.140 so all of this i regret being a mother talk please keep it in the group chat

00:50:01.100 yeah she's right she's funny i liked her okay and then we have a reddit story of a woman who 0.92

00:50:08.540 regrets having kids but before we get to that we are going to talk about the people that signed up

00:50:16.940 for the membership today um i wanted to say thank you guys you guys have no obligation to support

00:50:24.460 me i know when i watch youtube the odds of me going to an outside app and like the odds of me

00:50:31.740 going to some youtuber and thinking wow they demonetized her let me just buy this app so i

00:50:37.900 can watch so i can read reader chat like so the fact that we get so many signups every week it

00:50:45.980 actually amazes me that you guys do that so i want to say thank you to evan to marquise um

00:50:54.140 also want to say thank you let me read the ones from the last few days

00:50:58.060 um chanel chanel i think um mike thank you so much danny thank you um pasquale thank you cory

00:51:07.180 thank you calvin thank you very much alyssa we got a female fan um benjamin thank you um kelly

00:51:15.020 thank you david thank you so much um man siege thank you david again thank you steven thank you

00:51:23.420 so much um chris thank you baron thank you sarah thank you um tom thank you michael thank you jones

00:51:34.780 thank you tim thank you um thank you guys you know if we get enough we could maybe do events

00:51:40.700 at some point i would really love to do like a live podcast event where instead of callers you

00:51:45.980 can take like giving your personal experience from the audience um i have to get enough people

00:51:52.060 on the app first but i'd like to like reinvest and make this thing you know bigger um

00:52:01.660 yeah so i just wanted to say thank you let me keep going down all right so a reddit story of

00:52:10.700 a girl having kids. I regret having kids. I'm 35 female and I regret my decision to ever have

00:52:17.740 children. I'm constantly burnt out and touched out and exhausted being the only one doing the

00:52:24.300 caretaking. I love them and make sure that they know it but this is not a life I will never choose

00:52:30.360 to live for myself again. How do other single parents in relationships make it happen? I feel

00:52:36.800 like I'm going to explode either from depression, exhaustion, or rage. My family's help is minimal,

00:52:43.580 but I'm grateful for what they do give. I haven't had a child-free night since Christmas Eve 2020,

00:52:50.440 and before that, March of 2018. I'm so angry inside, every time I have to take on one more

00:52:57.440 burden myself. I want to run away some days, but I would never inflict that trauma on my children.

00:53:05.080 My mom left me and I would never hurt my kids like that.

00:53:08.900 I'm not some checked out parent either.

00:53:11.440 I give hugs.

00:53:12.640 I read books.

00:53:13.820 I give nightly baths and I ask about school.

00:53:17.040 I give words of encouragement and I'm exhausted.

00:53:20.800 Buy it every single minute. 1.00

00:53:23.420 Am I a piece of garbage? 1.00

00:53:27.240 Probably. 0.99

00:53:27.760 But I really just wanted to get this off my chest.

00:53:34.220 all right another one woman says having kids makes you mentally unwell i turned the audio

00:53:41.460 up a little bit tell me if it's better i regret making being a mom my dream

00:53:49.660 a mother freaking men i stand by what she says and i always tell people in real life in reality 0.85

00:53:59.040 when they ask me should i have kids should i have no don't unless you're ready to be mentally unwell 0.96

00:54:07.360 like she was talking about her relationship with her partner changed yes it does that's why when

00:54:11.680 i tell people when you have your first child your relationship dang it i forgot to do that regret

00:54:18.240 oh my gosh i am so sorry guys this is a struggle bus okay making being a mom i regret making being

00:54:31.540 a mom my dream a mother freaking men i stand by what she says and i always tell people in real

00:54:41.340 life in reality when they ask me should i have kids should i have no don't unless you're ready

00:54:47.600 to be mentally unwell like she was talking about her relationship with her partner changed yes it

00:54:53.720 does that's why when i tell people when you have your first child your relationship with your

00:54:59.220 partner is going to be tested you're gonna be going through the hoops okay you will figure out

00:55:05.360 if your relationship will survive with children or not because it's no longer you and your partner

00:55:10.060 it's you your partner and the child okay not only that but the mental stress okay and you feeling

00:55:17.580 like you're no longer in your body in your own body and she was talking about relationships you

00:55:22.440 know with friends and who's around you that's so true everything changes once you decide to have

00:55:28.240 kids or once you do have kids and just know that you will never ever ever ever ever be the same

00:55:34.880 person that you were before you had kids no matter if you think that you will be no matter if you're

00:55:39.220 like oh like i can work out no your world will be flipped upside down and let me tell you unless

00:55:43.940 you have a village helping you 24 7. did women really have a village 1.00

00:55:54.180 i don't know if i believe that i think women say that because they want their job to seem harder

00:56:02.820 than it is i just don't know if i think that women in history always had a village like

00:56:12.820 weren't most people farmers didn't you have like your own farm or you're working on someone else's

00:56:19.300 farm i don't know i'm like then it will be the hardest hardest thing of your life and even if

00:56:28.740 you do have a village sometimes even then it is so difficult to find yourself again to find who

00:56:34.660 you once were so yes i agree with her a hundred thousand percent okay

00:56:45.460 so we're gonna do a call-in show and i have a couple questions do any of you know women 1.00

00:56:53.540 that regretted having children including your mother did they regret having kids

00:56:58.020 um did your mom regret having you or did you say anything or say anything to you along those lines

00:57:05.700 now I'm gonna go I'm gonna play a video on the website I'm gonna put this zoom in the chat

00:57:11.480 and lord help me I hope it works today I can't promise anything oh we gotta sign up okay I did

00:57:22.500 promise that i would give the rollo tea during this show if i get 10 signups so if we get 10

00:57:30.980 i'll i said yearly i think i was shooting too high f it i'll do it for five five monthly signups i'll

00:57:39.620 give how how the only guy i wanted to be friends with an interview ended up my arch nemesis on

00:57:49.220 accident even though i still want to be his pal he just rejects me um okay robert thank you very

00:57:58.020 much and also marquise thank you guys so much the future of the app i really see as being the best

00:58:06.660 two dollars men ever spent that's how i want i want you guys to be like wow this is the best

00:58:13.380 money I've ever spent ever these movies are amazing no the hotties are actually hot anyways 1.00

00:58:20.820 okay so let me go I'm gonna play a video from the audacity site and then

00:58:35.620 okay so

00:58:36.260 here's one this was one of my first ones

00:58:43.820 what a great piece of content so i'm gonna i'm gonna go do the zoom i'm gonna put it in the

00:58:52.360 chat in a second okay what up guys welcome to the just pearly things youtube channel today i have a

00:58:58.840 special guest on the channel you guys requested her after last time i was told we like her but

00:59:05.380 we want to hear her talk more so here you are yes yes thank you for having me back i appreciate it

00:59:10.420 thank you for coming on yeah um so my name is jessica and you can find me on instagram and

00:59:16.900 youtube as it's your girl jess on instagram after it's and yeah there's a dot and after girl there's

00:59:23.220 an underscore and then jess on youtube it's just it's your girl jess yeah and you guys should go

00:59:27.780 subscribe to our youtube youtube channel her videos are actually really fun i watched a couple

00:59:33.140 i'm going to be uploading some more here and there it's going to be a little throwbacks that

00:59:36.660 i have from past adventures that i've had so stay tuned so before i start do not forget to subscribe

00:59:44.020 to the channel and ring that notification bell that way you're going to be notified of my daily

00:59:48.820 videos okay so where are you from let's let's do a little background on jess so i was born in

00:59:58.100 california and then i was raised in michigan then once i got old enough i moved back to california

01:00:04.660 okay i would say i'm a michigander californian okay and how old are you i'm 27 years old so

01:00:12.820 tell me your basketball history like give me give me your stats oh goodness stats i'm just kidding

01:00:20.660 no um so my basketball history i started playing basketball when i was in fifth grade on

01:00:29.780 what do we call it like kind of like a little league team i forgot the name of it but i started

01:00:34.500 then and then i played all throughout high school all throughout college and then i took a break

01:00:41.700 and i am playing here in the uk at school so you play was it a division one division two

01:00:49.540 d3 school you played at so when i started in college i played at a juco or junior college

01:00:55.140 um and i played one year in michigan out of school in flint uh called my community college

01:01:00.580 and then i played one year at cypress college in california and then i transferred to azusa

01:01:05.220 pacific university in california and it's a d2 okay did you get to play a lot started in college

01:01:11.700 i played at a junior college not as much as i would have liked to play but you know when it

01:01:17.860 comes to school and coaches and politics they have their own things yeah well i mean it's kind of if

01:01:25.700 you make it to that level everyone's good yeah you know like you can't really make it to a certain

01:01:31.060 level except a couple d3 schools you guys know who you are yeah yes there's a couple that are really

01:01:38.500 bad in d3 at least but like for the most part no one can really make it to that level without being

01:01:42.820 pretty good yeah and i'm at just because i like randomly joined the basketball team at uel so

01:01:50.500 i'm on the volleyball team here and i like play with the basketball team sometimes yeah when our

01:01:55.780 games don't overlap and jez was like the best one on the team by far calm down calm down she's like

01:02:02.660 they might see this they would know i wouldn't say i'm the best but i'm i'm one of the one of

01:02:10.820 the few she's the best one of the few one of the few um but they also have like a pro team here

01:02:17.780 the london lions which is like they're crazy good too like the best basketball players i have ever

01:02:24.740 seen in my life they're so good and to be able to play with some of them that are on the university

01:02:30.500 team and then online alliance has been a pretty cool experience to be like oh i've played with

01:02:34.820 pro players no big deal yeah oh my gosh i'm i was like i i was like i'm so sorry i'm on the court

01:02:41.380 because you guys like we play with this one girl who she competed at division one in the top like 1.00

01:02:47.140 15 they made it to or top 20. um i think so i think it was top 15 the school she went to

01:02:53.220 yeah that's cool yes that was great okay guys lord help me i'm trying to make this work

01:03:01.940 okay we're gonna hopefully see the zoom

01:03:07.460 hold on we're gonna see

01:03:11.620 it goes like this so whatever i guess tomorrow it'll be another day um so what are your thoughts um

01:03:21.700 Doug, you can go first, and then can you tell me who's there because I can't see?

01:03:25.780 Marvin.

01:03:26.660 Okay, so Doug, why don't you go first on the topic, and then Marvin will go to you.

01:03:31.540 Okay, thank you.

01:03:33.380 Okay, so I hope in my lifetime that we can judge mothers as harshly as we judge fathers. 0.54

01:03:43.380 Is that going to happen? Probably not, but I put it in the chat on YouTube. I put it in the chat

01:03:49.540 on on the website um who's the first person that a young girl calls a woman a or a 0.98

01:03:59.220 calls her too tall too thin too fat your boobs are too big too small creates all 1.00

01:04:05.700 all the insecurities and in the children period it's the mom and also just like how modern women 1.00

01:04:14.500 want a wedding but they don't want to be a wife modern women they want it they want the attention 1.00

01:04:20.260 of being pregnant they want to give birth but they don't want to actually be be parents sadly 0.99

01:04:26.340 a lot of masculine modern women when they're pregnant it's the first time that anyone's ever 1.00

01:04:31.460 treated them treated them like a lady that's serious there are women who are addicted to being 1.00

01:04:39.620 pregnant and oh i never thought about that they're addicted to being pregnant like they don't care 0.97

01:04:46.260 about having the kid they just like being pregnant yeah you know and you know i'm i can say it i'm

01:04:52.660 black uh i'll tell you that that american black women not all but most i'd say like 80 are just 0.99

01:05:00.020 awful and black mothers are the worst and because a lot of black women are so masculine the the 1.00

01:05:08.340 only time they ever get treated like a lady in their lives is when they're pregnant i'm talking 1.00

01:05:13.780 people open doors for them you know people give them things people give them grace give them the

01:05:20.180 benefit of the doubt and they never have that because they're just bad people yeah well i

01:05:27.380 wouldn't say you know this match they're just they're not good women to put it that way i 1.00

01:05:33.780 I wouldn't say bad people, which is not good women. 1.00

01:05:36.940 So, we need to judge mothers, I'd say even harsher than fathers.

01:05:43.760 Because women of the past used to pride themselves on the children they raised being mothers. 0.98

01:05:49.800 Now, women who have a child and talk about how their child is an obstacle to the life that they want. 1.00

01:05:57.700 The child is an obstacle.

01:05:59.220 fault. It's something keeping them from the life that they feel that they should have had. It's

01:06:04.460 insanity. Do you know anyone, guys, so I can't, the way that it is now, since I don't have a

01:06:10.840 producer, I can't see the Zoom, but just make sure you're muted and then we'll bring you next

01:06:15.540 if anyone comes on the Zoom. Doug, do you know anyone personally that regretted having kids?

01:06:22.200 um so yeah i know um so my well okay so

01:06:30.140 i'll tell you my story my my mother was was awful to her kids for the first 0.87

01:06:37.640 35 years of my life my mom was an absolute demon absolute demon and then my parents got divorced 1.00

01:06:46.400 and she had finally for the first time in her life started living by herself and she started

01:06:51.200 going to therapy and i remember when i was 36 i every harsh horrible horrible word a mother could 0.99

01:07:00.800 say to her son or to her kids my mom said to me just awful what did she say you know you know you

01:07:08.460 know you know remember that one show where you're talking about all the guilting stuff that like

01:07:13.320 mothers do you know you know i carried you for nine months but i think nine months is like a

01:07:18.460 lifetime i'm like okay it wasn't that long you know you know you know you know you know i wish

01:07:24.580 you were never born you never you you'll never know the sacrifices i made for you blah blah blah

01:07:29.840 all that stuff i remember when i went off to undergrad right you know i i got into this really

01:07:36.880 big university and i was so happy for myself and and i didn't want to tell my mom because i knew

01:07:43.540 that she was going to try to crap all over it so i told my mom like the day before i was going to 0.66

01:07:47.980 leave that i was i was leaving to go to this university and the last thing my mom said to me

01:07:53.580 before i left she said i don't know why you're going down there because you're just going to

01:07:58.780 fail out and you're going to end up on our couch and then and then what are you going to do

01:08:05.500 wow and one time my mom said to me she said i i hate you when you're here but i miss you when

01:08:14.380 and you're gone she literally said that to me wow and so so anyway so i'm i'm 36 years old my mom

01:08:26.220 started going to therapy and i and and i get a call from my mom and she's like hey can i talk 0.89

01:08:33.120 to you i'm like yeah sure she's like the reason why i used the scumbag is because my mom said 0.99

01:08:39.760 that she was a scumbag to her her children most of her life and she apologized for all the all 0.98

01:08:46.520 the messed up stuff that she did what was that like when she apologized it's crazy i couldn't 0.99

01:08:52.780 believe it at first and not only that pearl she had like a she took the time to write down the

01:08:58.860 stuff like most of the stuff through my life i like went down the list and like uh apologized

01:09:04.580 for a whole bunch of stuff she said remember when you were third grade i did this and then in sixth

01:09:09.400 did this in middle school i did this and this and this and this and i was just quiet i was silent

01:09:14.520 i couldn't believe it and you don't understand how much weight that carries on you and

01:09:20.520 until it's gone so you know my brother and i um you know i'm dug in pa my twin brothers aj's

01:09:28.280 a ransom raised i don't know if you guys have ever heard of him but he's doing really good

01:09:32.360 anyway so aj and i um we uh uh we used to run a mentorship group for young african-american and

01:09:40.120 african immigrant men and i meet a lot of us black men have horrible mothers a lot of us do it's kind

01:09:48.280 of like a brotherhood right in fact i've only met like five or six or seven black men my age who

01:09:56.120 actually had good relationships with their moms but i would mentor these young guys and all their

01:10:02.040 mothers were awful to them and i'm on the other side of it now but there's still where i was

01:10:07.080 before i was 36 and it's just so were you angry were you really angry about it when you were

01:10:12.760 younger i wasn't angry it's just sad because you know i grew up i grew up in the suburbs so

01:10:19.720 you know my next door neighbors were your stereotypical you know their dad was a colonel

01:10:24.840 and then the mom was a stay-at-home wife and then she she'd make the cookies you know they 0.99

01:10:29.640 have this stereotypical tv mom you know understand what i'm saying but you just come home to your

01:10:34.120 family if you know something's not right you're like why is my mom like this you know so and then

01:10:39.480 the the hardest part about it is just accepting that your mom is just like not not a good mom

01:10:46.040 but you know unfortunate that my mom was able to to do the work and you know and it turned around

01:10:53.800 but i just feel bad for the guys that are still on the other side because it's just awful you

01:11:00.440 know you when your mom is just you know i don't know how else to put it just like just verbally

01:11:07.000 and like emotionally just abusive i guess i mean i if you want to put it that way and uh you know

01:11:14.440 a lot of mothers they make uh excuses even if mothers have to have trauma they have to figure 1.00

01:11:22.120 that out and don't take it out on your kids it's not like it's not their fault that they're here

01:11:28.280 and it's not right that mothers feel the ability and feel entitled to be able to um to to take

01:11:37.400 their trauma out on their kids and a lot of times it's really subtle too with moms like they have

01:11:42.520 very subtle manipulation maybe yours yours sounds like she wasn't hers was very direct yeah it

01:11:47.880 wasn't subtle at all i remember so so when i was growing up um my mom would just make things

01:11:56.680 uncomfortable in the house right with their words and i remember we were latchkey kids

01:12:02.600 because both my parents um uh got off work after we got home from school and i always remember it

01:12:09.720 was so bad that like when i got home from school we had about an hour before my mom came home and

01:12:14.520 you hear the garage door open you're like son of a here we go you know what i'm saying yeah but we

01:12:20.840 had that like 45 minutes to an hour before she got home of peace before it was just straight

01:12:26.040 up chaos dude it was just chaos yeah and like you know no one um no one can hurt you like your

01:12:33.800 family like there are things that you tolerate from your family or your mother your father that

01:12:39.240 like if anyone that you didn't know or you weren't related to would say that to you you'd literally

01:12:46.280 like fight them you know what i'm saying but it's your mom and your dad you know what i'm saying

01:12:51.880 if you're a kid you know so once again i'm gonna some stuff by saying i'm fortunate enough that my

01:12:57.400 mom has done the work to be a better person it did to all of her kids but the first thing

01:13:03.960 of 35 years of my life it was it was just awful like she literally said that she was in a lot of

01:13:08.760 pain and she wanted everyone around her to feel the same pain that she felt wow yeah i'm glad

01:13:15.160 you made it to the other side i'm glad you made it to the other side of it yeah and i'm um i'm

01:13:21.400 really thankful for her for for doing all that work because she didn't have to and you know i

01:13:25.080 know i know guys who will never get that like ever it'll never happen especially uh uh in the black

01:13:31.720 community someone said asked me in the chat what makes black mothers so horrible because you can't 0.99

01:13:37.640 tell them nothing you can't question them because black mother is black mother god you know what 1.00

01:13:45.160 tubac said you know even though he was a crack fiend you're still a black queen that is true 1.00

01:13:52.360 in the black community and that has to change it has to doug doug do you want to maybe moderate 1.00

01:14:01.160 the people in and out or just tell like could you tell i can't see the zoom so could you put who's

01:14:06.920 like tell whoever's next to go next and if anyone marvin go ahead and then if anyone

01:14:11.960 um needs to mute would you mind like telling them if they get in or like message yeah okay

01:14:16.600 thank you doug marvin go ahead yeah i'm still learning to zoom i barely got my zoom um app

01:14:22.760 download a month ago i'm still learning i'm like the basic um that's okay what do you think of the

01:14:28.360 that's okay what do you think of the topic i can hear you fine so uh depends on the on the

01:14:35.160 levels i got different levels of the topic you want to start with child support or why there's

01:14:39.720 so many broken single mom homes no so i want to hear about your experience do you know any women 0.98

01:14:44.920 that regretted having kids did your mom ever say that she regretted having you

01:14:51.160 not my mother but i had someone at one point telling me that she regrets having kids with her

01:14:56.520 ex and i asked her why you must have felt something or a connection to have children

01:15:02.840 with this man why all of a sudden you regret it oh he's just not there mentally or financially

01:15:09.800 i was like it's then they broke up you know a year later after that we're together for

01:15:15.160 just not even three years so it's just you know i don't get into the details because it's it's really

01:15:21.640 you know um private and they might even go it's too high for me for some of us to understand

01:15:28.120 you know dramatically so she just said that out of the blue i never heard that before in a person

01:15:33.960 how can you regret having shown with the the man you chose you must have felt something but i'm

01:15:39.480 just saying from a man's perspective so i left it like that and didn't go further from there

01:15:45.080 i didn't even have any more questions after that what about your mom did she ever say she regretted

01:15:50.200 having you guys no i'm the oldest of the sons i'm the oldest son my my brother is uh

01:15:57.480 the youngest and he's he's no longer living with us he lives in nevada he's he's ex-military so

01:16:04.040 we're i'm the oldest out of the two no she never say anything like that never any other thoughts

01:16:10.200 on the topic um of women regretting having kids personal stories anything else you want to add

01:16:17.720 um no not at the moment because it goes deeper into the information i have i don't know we're

01:16:25.960 ready for that right now yeah if you have another topic you can dm me on twitter it's pearly things

01:16:31.560 with a z and then if it's interesting like a story or something maybe we'll do a show and

01:16:37.880 set it up but thank you very much for calling if we could move on doug who's next um uh eric

01:16:46.200 eric okay eric you you're on mute eric um i also i think we got another sign up

01:16:55.960 so thank you rob for the sign up oh we got another one you guys are so nice

01:17:03.400 you don't have to do any of this that's the crazy thing ladybird thank you very much for

01:17:08.680 the sign up you guys are amazing um i'm gonna read the chat really quick before we go to the next

01:17:14.200 caller um the okay um okay let me see mom who coddles her kid into thinking they're specials

01:17:35.760 just raising an entitled adult who'll blind be blindsided by reality and nobody's handed

01:17:41.600 handing out participation trophies in the real world. Okay. And then, um, who's next?

01:17:51.700 James, are you there? Hello? Yeah. James, go ahead. Hi, James. How are you?

01:17:58.520 Hi, Pearl. Um, I've actually, uh, been watching your show for quite some time,

01:18:06.780 like a few months. Okay. Um, and just found out what the topic was of, uh, your mother

01:18:13.580 regretting having you. I wouldn't say that my mother regretted having me, but, um, she did say

01:18:22.300 that i was an accident per se so i don't know if that really counts um and um

01:18:35.260 and and my mom got married to my dad and she was a single mother too

01:18:41.020 uh with with a child already in tow and and my half brother actually was physically abusive

01:18:52.140 to me during my childhood and that kind of uh that kind of messed me up a little bit

01:18:58.860 and um i was also married i'm now divorced but uh but um

01:19:10.220 but it was it was also a very abusive marriage and i came to find out that

01:19:16.060 my ex-wife had children with my brother one of my younger brothers and that was especially

01:19:24.300 heartbreaking so she had wait okay so it was this the brother that was abusive towards you

01:19:35.100 no it was it was a full-fledged brother my mom had like seven children um but her firstborn

01:19:42.140 is my half-brother, and he was the abusive one. But one of my younger brothers is the father of

01:19:54.720 the children that I presumed were mine, but I found through DNA testing during the divorce

01:20:02.960 process that the children were not biologically mine.

01:20:08.980 So how old were the kids when you found out?

01:20:17.740 Eight and four years old.

01:20:21.660 The eight-year-old is a girl, and I named her after my grandmother.

01:20:26.200 and the four-year-old is is a son and my ex-wife named him and gave his middle name the the same

01:20:40.280 name as my first name so i i was definitely attached to these kids and in a way i kind of

01:20:46.860 still am but i haven't really seen them in a while but with with the result of the court order

01:20:55.900 dna test that i requested um i'm not on child support my wife didn't seek alimony so

01:21:04.340 um i i guess i just got lucky that i didn't get hit that bad

01:21:10.680 but it it's i still got hit pretty hard though um

01:21:18.460 um i don't know it's really messed up how long did the affair go on like was it

01:21:24.740 like do you have any idea when it started like what what was the it was go ahead it was it was

01:21:31.820 years um when when i first started dating her before the marriage um she confessed to me

01:21:43.300 about it and i took her back even though i shouldn't have and that that was that was

01:21:51.900 probably a mistake for sure and then over time we did get married and she she wanted to also 0.99

01:22:04.260 open up the relationship and find other partners and I agreed to it but I guess part of the reason

01:22:13.700 is because I was fond of the idea of being with other women, perhaps that was selfish.

01:22:22.800 And she wanted to see my brother again.

01:22:27.920 And when I tried finding other women, I couldn't even get anywhere with other women 1.00

01:22:34.240 until she brought another woman into the mix. 1.00

01:22:40.100 So it's...

01:22:41.920 What was the confrontation with your brother like? Do you guys still talk?

01:22:49.140 No, not anymore. Not right now. And the other part is that my ex-wife even turned one of my

01:22:58.080 other brothers against me. I got a lot of brothers.

01:23:03.700 How did she turn him against you? Like in that situation, it's pretty...

01:23:08.780 Reputation damage.

01:23:09.680 I just would think it'd be pretty clear who's in the wrong if she got knocked up by your brother, you know.

01:23:17.040 It was more reputation damage.

01:23:21.060 And this was with one of my other younger brothers who I was really close with because he was the one next to me, below me.

01:23:33.760 Um, and, and we were, we were, we were like best friends and that kind of got destroyed when she started telling both my brothers that I was the abuser, even though I'm the one that has the police report that says that I was the victim of domestic violence.

01:24:00.160 Wow.

01:24:03.760 james i don't know if you said it but did you say in what context your mom told you that you

01:24:09.200 were in accident was she angry when she said like what did you if you don't mind no no she wasn't

01:24:15.360 angry uh it was more why would she say that to you like why honestly i don't know i i really don't

01:24:25.280 know um but when my mom got married to my dad um she she already had my half brother in the mix 1.00

01:24:35.600 but the the my older brother full full-fledged brother um that was born during the marriage um

01:24:47.200 he he wasn't the one considered an accident he was the one that that my parents were actually

01:24:52.800 trying to go for for a kid any other kid after that was considered an accident i was i was the

01:24:59.600 first accident so to speak wow okay mothers say that a lot i've heard a lot of moms say that doug 0.99

01:25:11.200 and i never really questioned it but yeah why do they say that you you can think it but why would

01:25:18.080 you even say it once again we have mothers saying that stuff on social media for their kids to find

01:25:27.040 when they get older it's the same my mother never my mother never really put that on social media

01:25:33.840 she just she said that to me uh when i was a kid in in kind of a casual manner

01:25:40.160 Wow

01:25:46.160 How long has it been since the divorce now?

01:25:53.280 I was divorced officially

01:25:55.700 I want to say last December

01:26:00.540 I think that's when it was finalized

01:26:04.840 So I've been divorced for currently a number of months now, like a couple.

01:26:12.920 Are you doing better?

01:26:16.100 How are you doing?

01:26:21.680 So-so.

01:26:23.440 There are bouts of depression.

01:26:25.600 um currently i'm unemployed because the last job that i was at um i i brought in

01:26:34.920 my brothers half my siblings anyways uh into the company because they needed some employees and

01:26:43.580 um holy and ever ever since the domestic violent incident and the separation

01:26:51.580 uh my relationship with my brothers have kind of turned sour and i i left the company because i

01:27:02.100 i i did not want to bring confrontation in the company or or deal with my siblings who i felt

01:27:14.280 was uh who i felt were basically traitors you know bros against hoes got thrown out the window 0.99

01:27:24.600 yeah or i'm sorry bros bros before hoes got thrown out the window 1.00

01:27:29.640 wow that's the craziest story i've heard in a while i'm so sorry go ahead doug sorry

01:27:40.820 is chris on the line chris are you there

01:27:44.180 oh yes sorry about what do you have to say sorry about that oh that's okay this i'm afraid

01:27:52.880 you know what the show is about have you been listening absolutely absolutely i do uh i have

01:28:00.760 what do you have i i certainly have one of those mothers uh now it's i don't know if you can

01:28:08.160 actually see me. I'm on video there. Yeah, we can't see you today, but keep going. Sorry.

01:28:15.560 I'm actually quite a bit probably older than most of your audience, believe it or not.

01:28:23.200 Born in 1981. Now, to make a long story. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Knight.

01:28:31.180 I'm born. I'm born. In 1980, you make me feel old. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

01:28:34.820 81 here myself 81 that's fine go ahead that then then i'm in good company thank you so much

01:28:43.060 um yes uh to make a long story short um my mother was certainly uh one of those that uh regretted 1.00

01:28:54.180 motherhood and regretted it deeply but i think probably not for the same reasons that most women

01:29:01.060 today would um uh it and it it certainly goes to show that uh you know a lot of these women that 1.00

01:29:12.400 end up feeling this way uh they they're you they've usually gone through something or are

01:29:20.200 going through something and certainly no excuse for for the way they treat their children 0.90

01:29:26.600 Um, brief synopsis of mine is, uh, my mother grew up very white trash poor, uh, here in Canada, in Eastern Canada. 0.95

01:29:39.780 Um, she dropped out of school, I think at 16, I believe she said, uh, she became a prostitute. 0.90

01:29:49.640 And one of the things she used to torment, especially me with, because, well, let me take this forward. 0.86

01:30:00.300 So she eventually ended up marrying a man that's not white.

01:30:05.640 My sister is the product of their marriage.

01:30:11.120 She looks like my dad, but of course I don't.

01:30:14.380 i i am the product of one of her liaisons when she was a how shall we say a working woman

01:30:24.600 and she never did tire of reminding me of that fact or certainly making 0.95

01:30:32.340 oblique references to it nevertheless a very bipolar very mentally ill woman 0.96

01:30:39.440 who abused her children, who abused her husband. 1.00

01:30:45.680 And I'm certainly living proof of, you know, these women, you know, 1.00

01:30:54.360 they mess their sons up.

01:30:56.300 They mess them up quite badly.

01:30:58.100 it took me many years to to get over uh growing up in that fashion it is certainly possible um

01:31:13.620 now i must confess i've never been to therapy or anything of that nature um i joined the uh

01:31:22.040 the canadian forces up here and uh i suppose they've been the stand-in that my family never

01:31:29.860 really was um but i'll ask you a question chris did you ever when you got older because one thing

01:31:38.940 about growing older is that eventually you see your you know that parent worship is gone right

01:31:46.120 and you see your parents as, like, a regular person, you know.

01:31:50.260 When that happens, usually in your 20s,

01:31:53.500 did you ever try to confront your mom about how you grew up

01:31:56.800 and how did she take it?

01:31:57.740 Did she do the stereotypical denial?

01:31:59.620 Did she do the whole, you know, I did the best I could.

01:32:02.560 I put a roof over your head.

01:32:03.820 I put food in your mouth, all that.

01:32:05.440 How did she handle it when you started confronting her about how you grew up?

01:32:11.060 Well, you know, it was interesting.

01:32:13.080 I'd spent most of my teen years as a delinquent,

01:32:16.120 I hit the big time when I was 18 after my brief stint in the big house then I was homeless for

01:32:25.840 stretches and I always remember I would always try to go back and and you know maybe put my life

01:32:31.660 together and live under the roof again and oh my mother and I'd set to killing each other it was

01:32:37.500 bad uh and i i distinctly remember one conversation where she had suggested that we get therapy

01:32:46.180 and i swear to you that this is a verbatim quote when she had done all the arrangements and so on

01:32:54.240 and so forth she had said okay but you can't talk about what happened when you grew up oh my god

01:33:02.380 that is it's funny but that that is a verbatim quote i swear to you and uh needless to say i

01:33:14.920 did not go through with this charade that she had planned um she had basically wanted to say

01:33:22.720 you know my son is a screw up it's all his fault and he's trying to blame me and

01:33:27.160 all that sort of business um you know as the years have gone by of course she's in her 60s now 0.93

01:33:34.640 and she's on medication to regulate her bipolar um she'll go on ad nauseum about 0.99

01:33:43.620 how much of a bad parent she was and and certainly fair enough 1.00

01:33:48.080 I have a young son myself

01:33:52.160 He's going to be nine soon

01:33:54.200 And she will always

01:33:56.360 Bang on about how I've broken the cycle

01:34:00.000 And all sorts of things that make her feel better I suppose

01:34:03.440 You know I guess at the end of the day

01:34:08.780 You know to all the fellows out there

01:34:10.880 And especially if you're young guys

01:34:12.380 I mean at the end of the day

01:34:13.620 You know that's all we can really do right

01:34:16.100 that's all we can do is just be be different and be better than what we were i know it's hard

01:34:27.460 you know i remember you know waiting all those years working menial jobs trying to

01:34:33.060 sort myself out and you know trying to go straight after you know my delinquent years and you know

01:34:38.660 know it's hard man um you know my my path to you know the military that's not everybody

01:34:47.480 fully admit that but um for i guess for a guy who needed structure in his life after not really

01:34:56.040 having it it was it was a godsend um you know i've been married twice uh my wife now god bless her

01:35:05.340 puts up with me knows full well what I grew up with she detests my mother 1.00

01:35:11.020 it is it's very interesting their their relationship and their dynamic but

01:35:19.120 you know just just keep banging on fellas that's all I can say and and Pearl just let me say this

01:35:29.040 I know you take a lot of flack, a lot of it unjustified in my opinion,

01:35:35.860 but you're giving people a voice that would ordinarily be ignored and dismissed

01:35:42.140 as obviously we are in a lot of cases.

01:35:45.340 So rather than me monopolize all the time here, I just want to thank you, Pearl,

01:35:50.980 and thank you, gentlemen, and allow me to, if of course no other questions,

01:35:56.120 allow me to pass it over.

01:35:59.040 Okay. Thank you so much. Eric, you're still on mute. Are you there? Because you were in the Zoom chat just sitting there. How many other people are on the line, Doug? There's Gio and Dana. You said Gio and Dana? Yeah. Okay. So I think we'll do those three and that'll be all the callers we take. Okay.

01:36:26.140 Oh, okay. Okay. So Gio, get off mute. What do you think about the topic? And then we'll do Dan after that.

01:36:40.020 I can't hear you, buddy.

01:36:43.460 See your mouth? Yeah, there you go. Go ahead.

01:36:46.560 So currently I'm married and I've been married for two years and have been in my relationship for five years.

01:36:51.740 So a total of seven years, or we were dating in a relationship for five years, and then

01:36:57.440 so a total of seven.

01:36:59.640 But when we first started dating, I knew kind of early, she kind of hinted, at least my

01:37:08.560 partner hinted that she had the possibility of not wanting a kid, and I thought that was

01:37:15.440 going to change.

01:37:16.060 So I know it's kind of like not directly answering the topics question, but we're still now, seven years later, we're at the point where she's still kind of with that firm no.

01:37:30.140 and um recently last week i just kind of found out that uh she was texting or like sexting 1.00

01:37:38.440 another guy and like uh basically it was her ex and she's been having like um many affairs like

01:37:45.660 outside of her relationship whenever we would have breakups so she wouldn't count it as cheating i

01:37:51.960 guess. But anyways, and so then that kind of made me think, well, the way I kind of perceive things

01:38:01.060 is I think women either, if they do get married and have kids with specific husbands or like their 0.53

01:38:09.480 husband, and then maybe later on regret it, it's because they regret it because they didn't have

01:38:14.980 it with the guy they wanted to. And I think that's going to be a more common trend.

01:38:21.960 So similar to, like, women like to show off for their weddings and also show off their kids, but I think because of social media, women can compare themselves to other women and them having their kids. 1.00

01:38:35.220 I think maybe that's a possibility where women can often maybe have not necessarily regrets of having, like, a kid, but maybe that kid with a specific person, and maybe they saw themselves having it with another kid.

01:38:51.620 So I don't know, I just think like specifically, like I think it's probably not as common now,

01:39:01.860 but I think because I think from the ages of like 27 to like, or 20, like 28, 27 to like 38,

01:39:11.860 since that, since when I was in, since I was in college, that was like 13, 16, that's when like

01:39:17.300 instagram kind of blew up and i i could see that there is a lot of like friction or there's a lot

01:39:24.760 of restrictions with like how women like they're a lot more selective with who they picked to date 0.99

01:39:30.060 and that would be like prime dating time for any any guy so i think that's why we're at this point

01:39:37.940 now 10 years later where um even like now women don't necessarily want to have kids still or it's 1.00

01:39:44.680 um they're having less kids or they're pulling off later on uh because they're um

01:39:51.320 is someone who needs to mute their mic doug do you hear that

01:39:55.440 i think i think that's your mic gia is it i don't think is it it's popping okay yeah okay sorry

01:40:05.920 keep going um so all right i just um i think

01:40:14.960 i think it's gonna happen more uh probably like in the next five years or 10 years as soon as

01:40:21.040 women do start having kids and maybe they keep on comparing themselves like on instagram and 1.00

01:40:26.480 they're probably going to regret not necessarily having that kid but with the person that they

01:40:32.400 didn't end up having it or wanting to have it with who was your girlfriend sexting was it anyone you

01:40:38.480 knew or someone from her past yeah it was so i think it was like her like second boyfriend in

01:40:45.120 like high school and we met uh um i'm i met her like towards the end of of my college so like

01:40:52.560 we're four years apart she's she's 28 i'm 32 or she's 29 sorry uh and um and she was so the first

01:41:03.600 time she cheated was like uh not when we first dated but the first time she moved in and she 0.99

01:41:12.080 moved in with me and like we moved um four hours away from wherever her hometown is and uh the

01:41:18.960 the first time that she went over, um, that's when she, or she went to go visit her family.

01:41:23.640 That's when she like ended up cheating. And then I didn't find out until like a year and a half

01:41:28.900 later because we're having like, um, we're like playing like a, like a drunk game. And I kind of

01:41:35.580 like caught her slipping up on a couple of lies and then things that didn't really add up. And

01:41:40.300 that's when I kind of like uncovered it. Um, and then I ended up realizing it a couple of times

01:41:47.300 later that she did have affairs whenever we did have breakups and that came through just

01:41:52.940 like me kind of like not interrogating her, but like where her story didn't really add

01:42:00.780 up in like her having interactions with him and whatnot.

01:42:04.520 And then now just recently I just found out that she did it again. 0.97

01:42:10.300 So we're definitely going to get a divorce.

01:42:13.080 Yeah.

01:42:13.900 What made you accept it the first time?

01:42:16.540 What made me what?

01:42:17.300 accept it the first time? The first time? I think because she is pretty traditional, I think.

01:42:28.020 I had, I think I experienced like sex pretty early, like in an early age. And I think she

01:42:40.980 didn't as much because her parents are pretty conservative. And I think she was like kind of

01:42:46.100 holding off for someone special and I guess whoever she did end up having it with like

01:42:51.220 ended up like rejecting her afterwards and then so she I think she like kind of dated like a few

01:42:57.860 other times but I was like her like her fourth guy I guess and I dated a lot a lot like a lot

01:43:08.180 earlier in my in my high school years and a little bit in college but the reason I think I took her

01:43:14.340 her back was because I kind of caught her early on to where like she didn't have like a high body 1.00

01:43:22.040 count. So in my mind, I thought, I just felt like, I know people make mistakes. So I just kind of

01:43:31.300 accepted that one mistake. And I felt like because she didn't have that many experiences,

01:43:38.100 I mean, we're all humans. We all have like sexual tendencies. And like, I just, I gave her that pass,

01:43:42.960 I guess. But she also, during that time, the reason why I didn't kick her off, like out of

01:43:49.080 the house right away was because, uh, during that time I just got like a new job offer and it took

01:43:56.560 a lot of my time to like balance school and work. And, uh, she like kind of made it up for me and

01:44:04.600 like, um, showed her dedication back. And I was kind of giving her a timeline when I was going

01:44:09.420 kick her out but like i just got like the job offer like um um i think it was like like two

01:44:17.180 three weeks after i found out that she did something or that she cheated on me that she 1.00

01:44:21.500 cheated on me like two three years ago yeah but um um yeah any questions pearl

01:44:32.780 um not really i mean i kind of get the gist so she it's crazy that she went back to a high

01:44:38.220 school boyfriend that's really long time ago doug do you have anything

01:44:44.780 you know i just would say you know uh all of us have sent you most most of us have in fact i would

01:44:54.140 say don't trust a man raised in america who says he he hasn't simped because like america raises

01:45:00.620 men to to be simps so like you know a lot of guys who say oh i'd never take a girl back with

01:45:07.100 that cheated they probably have hate to say it but so you know it's better that you learn now

01:45:14.940 and you're moving forward just don't make the mistake again but

01:45:19.420 america raises simps dude you just got to make sure that you're not a center very long in your

01:45:23.740 life thanks well thanks for thanks for calling in and sharing okay thank you and then dana are you

01:45:34.300 you there? Dana asked. Is that a woman? Dana, is that a woman? I had a woman call into my

01:45:39.560 show? I don't know. Oh, they're gone now. Figures. Okay. Eric, are you there? Because

01:45:50.140 you've been sitting on Zoom call this whole time. Yes, I'm there. Okay. What do you think

01:45:56.440 about the topic? It's interesting. It's why I was here. I was like curious to hear a story

01:46:03.200 about the other people and i'm sorry if i can sound weird because i'm french and i need something to

01:46:10.080 practice a little bit my english show okay so i don't have a pair i don't have like a story about

01:46:18.960 myself but i have one about a friend i can say that he's been married like 15 years with the

01:46:27.600 same woman and i guess she got like three kids with my friend but i to what i because a lot of 0.98

01:46:37.600 things like happen lately and i guess she never wanted those kids because every time like i was

01:46:44.680 going to this home she was like always a little bit cold with the the kid or when she had to be

01:46:52.080 alone with the kids she never like seemed like totally happy to to be with them and stuff and

01:46:59.940 my friend like really loved this kid and all and because like four years ago they were you

01:47:09.020 he was starting like to have fight with his wife and um i'm not say i don't know all the story but

01:47:18.500 they got a fight and she called the cops and after she said like he beat her and he got in jail

01:47:26.560 and when he was at jail she lost the child custody because the government said like she was a bad 0.97

01:47:36.260 mother and he knew this like after coming out from jail and now like he's trying to

01:47:45.900 to read to have back the kid but he's not allowed because he's been to jail and being

01:47:52.780 there anyway what so i have the feeling like his wife accused him wrong because to what i know i

01:48:01.000 don't think he ever he ever touched her but we call it eric we call that a false accusation

01:48:08.800 yeah you can add that to your english terms okay

01:48:12.520 and now like my friend is like very sad because he really wants like to see his kid back but

01:48:22.240 he's not able to and his ex-wife like just lost the child custody so

01:48:30.020 i guess it's happened because like i was saying maybe she never wanted them and

01:48:38.800 So where are the kids now?

01:48:41.100 If he doesn't have custody and he doesn't, who has them?

01:48:44.020 I think the government gave them to another family.

01:48:48.400 No way.

01:48:50.500 Oh, my God.

01:48:53.480 You let the government take custody of the whole package?

01:48:57.320 Yeah, because I live in Quebec, and sometimes it can happen if, like, both parents are, like, took to be unfit to take the child or stuff like that.

01:49:11.400 Wow.

01:49:12.840 Is there any domestic violence involved?

01:49:15.540 Does that happen often in Quebec?

01:49:17.980 Do you know a lot of men going through that?

01:49:19.840 because that's par for the course in the United States,

01:49:23.600 except for the child going to the government type of thing.

01:49:29.120 But you've got to assume that a woman could make a false accusation. 0.95

01:49:34.480 Well, when women want the kids, they'll do everything necessary to get them, 1.00

01:49:38.500 including false accusations, putting the guy in jail and stuff.

01:49:42.480 Has it happened a lot in Montreal?

01:49:46.640 I don't know all the story, but higher.

01:49:49.140 It seems lately it's happened, lately maybe more than like a few years ago.

01:49:57.740 Oh my gosh, it's everywhere.

01:50:00.740 Oh Doug, it's everywhere, especially the countries they say it's not.

01:50:07.700 Like India is some of the worst stories I've heard and everyone always says they don't 1.00

01:50:11.840 have these problems.

01:50:13.400 know he's talking about um canada but um wow how's your um how long has it been since your friends

01:50:22.440 seen him now it's been like near two years he didn't see them wow

01:50:36.120 did you know where the kids are like what family they're with or anything or does he not even know

01:50:40.680 where the kids are i think you don't know because it's been a while i am talking a little less with

01:50:48.760 him because he's very depressed and he's not like told me talking to me a lot lately so

01:50:57.320 wow how many kids two three three oh i wonder if they're all with the same family or different

01:51:05.480 uh he got the three kids was with the same woman no i meant like now if the kids were

01:51:14.100 split up or they're together uh i don't know wow well i'm sorry your friend went through

01:51:21.820 that that's insane so the woman gave up the kids to the state essentially no she didn't 1.00

01:51:31.180 gave up is the state went to their home and the judges are unfit oh and they wouldn't give him

01:51:38.380 to the dad too because of the abuse claims do they had a warrant for to get into the house

01:51:47.000 a bench warrant they called it a what uh did they have a bench warrant

01:51:52.840 I don't know all the story about that

01:51:58.860 He said earlier that she gave them up, right?

01:52:02.500 No, she didn't give them up, they took it

01:52:05.560 Because when the government can have a feeling like you're very unfit to have those kids

01:52:13.200 You can take it

01:52:14.980 Brutal

01:52:17.920 But it's something in Quebec

01:52:20.460 In Quebec, state of Canada

01:52:23.060 Something happened in Quebec

01:52:25.880 I'm going to ask you another question

01:52:28.800 Eric, in general

01:52:30.160 How bad does a woman have to be 1.00

01:52:32.480 To her children

01:52:33.460 To get taken away

01:52:35.120 I know somebody that

01:52:37.440 The wife negligently killed 0.87

01:52:39.940 One of the younger kids

01:52:41.040 And she still got custody 1.00

01:52:42.320 Isn't that crazy?

01:52:45.540 Is that possible?

01:52:47.300 I don't know

01:52:48.020 It was a really liberal judge

01:52:49.860 and the guy was pretty conservative.

01:52:53.060 The judge would be replaced him.

01:52:55.980 Yeah.

01:52:56.580 Yeah.

01:52:59.680 Wow, that's insane.

01:53:01.800 That's everybody on the Zoom call.

01:53:04.480 That's everyone, Doug?

01:53:06.060 Yep.

01:53:06.680 Okay.

01:53:07.760 Okay, cool.

01:53:10.880 Sorry, guys.

01:53:11.640 This is a later show than I usually do.

01:53:13.540 I'm getting kind of sleepy.

01:53:14.340 okay well thanks for bearing with all of my tech issues today I do think I foresee in like three

01:53:24.420 days this is going to be improved so you know anyways guys let me know what you think like

01:53:31.980 the video on your way out and subscribe to the channel and yeah I'll see you guys tomorrow

01:53:41.300 and yeah we're trying to get 3 500 members on the website so if you can the links in the

01:53:48.540 description it's in on both of the app stores i love you guys thanks so much for watching i'll see

01:53:53.060 have a good one y'all you have a good one thank you thank you and

Pearl - February 24, 2025

Modern Mothers Regret Having Children ｜ Pearl Daily

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