01:24:05.880And, um, that's one thing that, because I did, I met a, uh, like, I digged down this chick in New York City, and after I talked to her for a bit, she told me her best friend had HIV, and I got really afraid, because I didn't use, I didn't wrap it up, so, like, I broke up, I went to her work, like, a week later, and I broke up with her, and she was like, why?
01:24:27.060And I said, I think, like, I said something really rude, but, you know, and people don't, when people have it,
01:24:35.300they don't tell you this crazy life they usually live before they contracted something that serious.
01:24:40.680Like, herpes is another thing, you know, you can get that.
01:45:45.540Oh, yeah, I worked for, like, a year or two, about two years.
01:45:50.580My experience is that it's mostly a lot of gay men have HIV.
01:45:57.200In the world, basically, there's a lot of gay men in the Bay Area to go with that.
01:46:02.460But the stories are crazy on how people would get them.
01:46:05.360You'd hear all kinds of, like, stories on some people would get.
01:46:08.940and when it comes to h or hsv one and two um a lot of hsv one a lot of hsv two i guess um
01:46:18.960the thing that i got was weird was that um a lot of the women that had hsv two they would tell
01:46:26.640their partners or their future partners and a lot of the men were like that's fine that's fine
01:46:31.780and they would tell me like so the guys were like i don't know if they're simping or they're just
01:46:36.080desperate or the because the women that did tell me that a lot of them were really hot
01:46:40.480really attractive and um from my experience also that when you have uh hsv2 you can shed
01:46:50.240which is you're shedding the virus like you could shed like a week or two before you actually
01:46:54.140start feeling symptoms or showing symptoms so it's so the people that you think don't have it
01:47:01.120may have it so it's hard to um tell if someone has it and a lot of the std testing in california
01:47:09.600they don't test for hsv1 or hsv2 they'll do the other stuff the chlamydia the the hiv the um i
01:47:16.460forget gonorrhea um all that but they won't really test for it and they say it's just so
01:47:21.460damn prevalent in california with the hsv1 and 2 and do you think the women that had have it were
01:47:28.860they like would you say they were more attractive women um like just across the board go ahead yeah
01:47:36.540in general okay in general it was really it was the really hot women um i i have a question
01:47:45.180if this is doug mpa's question not pearl's question
01:47:50.380how many how many other women that came into your clinic were black women
01:47:54.860um the one that was that came in a lot she was actually she had hiv really cool lady though
01:48:02.240super cool lady um but it it was mostly the one that i saw i lived in where i worked at i'm not
01:48:11.820going to say where um it was mostly gay white men older men it wasn't really a lot of young men
01:48:17.340um the young men that did come in they were it wasn't i can't say the worst they were like the
01:48:24.320damn the horniest like it was just i remember a couple of a couple came in and then a week later
01:48:29.920they're fighting with each other two young men because one was cheating and they were both
01:48:34.540one came in a week after that and he was looking green's hands were had pustules i think he had
01:48:39.580gonorrhea for like a long time and he was just really in bad shape and he couldn't stop having
01:48:46.480sex and then this other guy um i'm not gonna say it's an ethnicity or anything he was actually
01:48:52.940hivy positive and hep c positive and he would come in and then a month later he'd come in and
01:48:58.700he had chlamydia in his in his anus and in his throat and they tell him to stop having sex and
01:49:03.740he and then he wouldn't he would just come in like three months later he'd be infected again
01:49:09.100it's just it just was just nonsense and it was a young gay man and i felt bad for them but it's
01:49:13.500just it's like it's hard for them to control i guess their sexual i don't know like they just
01:49:19.020couldn't keep their pants on i guess um but the older men um they were just coming in for their
01:49:27.340regular schedule uh visits you know every six months every it just depends how sick they were
01:49:31.900on their viral load or basically the viral load is the amount of um hd virus you have in your system
01:49:39.100and you check that like every i don't depends on how bad you are how sick you are um the medication
01:49:45.260now is really really good um you can take the medication to where your hiv your your viral load
01:49:51.660is so low where it's undetectable where you're you're testing negative uh with hiv but you have
01:49:57.500to be i forget the name of it it's been a while how how often do they transmit it because i when
01:50:03.660i was looking on chat gpt it was saying you're really not likely to get it if you hook up with
01:50:08.620someone that has it but that seems um that seems wrong but i'm like i don't know it's from what i
01:50:16.700remember in the studies is that um like vaginal intercourse it's pretty difficult to get it's when
01:50:22.960you get into the the blood the blood on blood contact so anal sex is you have a lot of that
01:50:29.120blood on blood contact that's also when you have hsv one and two there's sores there right so if
01:50:34.860there's you have a higher chance of catching something because you actually have a wound so
01:50:40.240something gets into that wound like disease like hiv or something else so that's why they say you
01:50:46.120have you're at higher risk of getting hiv if you have hsv1 and hsv2 and you're having sex
01:50:50.940so it's really like that blood on blood contact that's really the thing about it um but yeah
01:50:58.980there's also like a tracking system in california once you have hiv you're tracked for the rest of
01:51:03.540their life um through this through the state so if you're like say you're homeless or you leave
01:51:09.460the state or you're in jail they have to like figure out where you're at so they can keep you
01:51:13.440taking the medication to keep you below the hiv level the hiv viral loads where you can give it
01:51:18.980to people so it's like um so if someone disappears they go to jail we have to find them figure out
01:51:24.780where they're at and have them keep taking the medication and do most of them live like a normal
01:51:29.660life now oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah they're taking their meds they have a normal life it used to be
01:51:36.340like in the 80s the medication was so bad it was really tough on your on your liver and kidneys
01:51:42.280um but the medication got it's gotten so good um that you don't have to worry about that unless
01:51:50.000you're doing other drugs or you're an alcoholic or something like that so i think for doug's
01:51:54.220question he was asking about um the herpes if like what percent were b-dubs um it was low for
01:52:01.260more but i we i the where i worked at was a low it was pretty predominantly low um
01:52:07.180african-american community okay that makes sense i couldn't tell you yeah it is the
01:52:12.780were you like right in san francisco like right there yeah that's yeah that's really expensive
01:52:18.300though so yeah exactly exactly if i worked in oakland i'm pretty sure you'd be holding different
01:52:22.460stats yeah i would imagine okay so for the um the would you say that most i don't know if you even
01:52:30.540like in your job did you did you even have a chance to talk to them about how honest they
01:52:36.700were with the people they slept with i'm just curious if you had any information on how like
01:52:41.580honest people are with it the the younger let me add to their one
01:52:47.180I'll add to her question, not only pro's question, but did you have any like optional questionnaire questions about disclosure or how often they talk to their partners about what they have?
01:53:04.960It's hard to say. I didn't see a lot of younger people there. I was mostly the older, older white men, but most of them, they actually had their own partners.
01:53:14.680um when people did come in for random testing it was um you know did they just want to get their
01:53:21.160HIV test you know no questions asked that kind of thing I there was questions of how many people
01:53:25.280I slept with I remember one guy he was a cop and he says he just he forgot how many people he slept
01:53:30.540with he just wanted to get tested um other people would come in just to um hey I need my what was
01:53:38.140it my my warts burned off I need my warts taken care of like they actually had dinner to warts and
01:53:43.260get treated and okay i'm i'm gonna go about my business even though they were positive they're
01:53:48.200probably hpv positive which is a general warts which i think four of those types of general warts
01:53:55.500can actually lead to um cancer um so it's it's for men it's really important if you if a woman has
01:54:03.480hpv because the hv can you can get through a man can get throat cancer from hpv of those four
01:54:10.540there's four variants there's like i don't even know there's like maybe 30 to 20 to 30 different
01:54:15.260types of it's 16 18 the one you don't want right that's the no i forget it's at least maybe maybe
01:54:22.620i forget how many are cancers but there's at least four or five that are cancers um see if chat gpt
01:54:29.260says what strands of hpv give men throat cancer um i'm curious what anecdotally and
01:54:40.540Maybe because there was a lot of gay guys, but like, what percent of women do you think have STDs, if you had to guess, based on your experience at the clinic?
02:17:10.860And he explained to us that every weekend, Saturday and Sunday, for a period of like one or two decades, he would go to a bathhouse and every night he would bang like three to six guys.
02:17:22.960And sure enough, we ran the math and we're like, yeah, that's literally in the thousands.
02:17:26.580so i didn't say anything because trying to be polite but in my brain i'm like
02:17:32.820that's how aids happens like that's where that comes from just saying
02:17:37.560and did he get it um i did not ask okay yeah i know sometimes i'll hear stories from guys and
02:17:48.480i'm like there's no way you don't have something i'm like there's girls too but it's like okay so
02:17:56.020what about, you know, that's actually, if I ever had Bonnie Blue on, that's what I'd want to ask
02:18:01.760her about. But show me your test results. I don't believe you. Yeah, that's the thing. I'm not Bonnie
02:18:08.280Blue, but the other one, you know who I'm talking about. The hundred guys chick. Yeah. I think she
02:18:13.840was raw dogging them. Wasn't she? I don't think so. They're like, I saw after footage and there
02:18:18.900was like a bunch of condoms on the floor. Oh, thank God. Okay. Cause that, that, I mean,
02:18:24.680you don't want to be like a human petri dish that's not cool you're that way either way
02:18:29.560yeah so um did you know anyone with herpes uh yeah i knew um my other cousin not cocaine cousin
02:18:40.040but i have another cousin who's a stripper and she has herpes okay and how does she date does
02:18:45.640she tell the people or no yeah she uses websites there's like special websites for herpes people
02:18:55.560Okay, so she's actually honest about it.
02:21:45.460And same thing with STDs, like normal stuff.
02:21:51.300Like if you're a guy and you're mostly having sex with like middle to upper class women who are like white and Asian, you're probably okay.
02:46:33.980How's it going, Brad? Do you got the gift that keeps on giving?
02:46:39.400Well, as far as I know, I'm herpes free. But, you know, like so many people out there have said, they don't necessarily get disclosure.
02:46:46.140So I was married faithfully on my end for over 30 years.
02:46:50.860And I didn't find out until we were a couple of years into the marriage and we were expecting our first child that when she went to the OBGYN, they put her on a high risk pregnancy rating.
02:47:02.920What the heck is that all about? Well, apparently they're under no need or no push to disclose even to a husband that there is, you know, potentially something, an STD or something going on down there.
02:47:18.420So apparently she had one of the forms of HPV, and it was noticeable to the doctors that she had something called cervical dysplasia, which I had no idea what that was about, and nobody was forthcoming as far as information, as far as what that is.
02:47:36.020But it's the other viral thing that's HPV as opposed to the HSV one or two.
02:47:44.760And it results in warts and sores and some things like that, which, you know, can make you susceptible to some of the other things.
02:47:55.440Then the other thing was further along into the marriage around our 25th anniversary, she carried on a secret affair with a guy where she managed in spite of still having two kids living at home.
02:48:06.020to arrange to go grocery shopping and shopping in town and be gone for four hours and hook up
02:48:10.600with a guy on the other end of town and was carrying on a secret affair that none of us
02:48:15.420in the family had a clue about for almost two years. And when she, when I finally caught them
02:48:21.460in the act, I, she, you know, I said, you know, I just realized you, you weren't using any
02:48:30.060protection, were you? I mean, this, who knows what this, this guy you're with. I mean, you just
02:48:33.680assumed. He's free and clear, but you know, who knows what he's got? Do you need, before we get
02:48:39.760back into bed ever again, because we were talking about reconciling. Not that I wanted to simp,
02:48:46.100but we had 25 years invested in it and four kids behind us. And, you know, I was willing to,
02:48:51.640you know, still give it a shot if, if she was. So yeah, it never occurred to her. It was like
02:48:59.080the light bulb went, you could literally see the light bulb light up over her head, like in
02:49:03.620cartoon it was like oh oh yeah oh yeah so she then went in to the doctor to get tests run you know
02:49:10.980and up until that time it was like you know hands hands and everything else off because who knows
02:49:15.460what i was subjected to so uh did she come back clean or no yeah she did come back clean which
02:49:24.500amazed me because one of the things that was kind of like a side benefit if you can believe it
02:49:29.700of the aftermath of the affair was that, you know, she still was not in a position financially yet
02:49:38.420if I'd kicked her to the curb to make it on her own. So she still had a vested interest in,
02:49:43.760you know, trying to make nice with me so that, you know, I would keep her,
02:49:48.100keep a roof over her head and keep her supplied with the dailies. So she also at that point had
02:49:53.860nothing morally to lose because all the pretenses she'd been making about being such a good girl
02:49:58.500kind of went out the window. So I inquired further into her past. I knew she'd been active in her
02:50:04.280teens and she admitted to me she never used contraception, never used protection. I don't
02:50:09.360know how that girl went through all the years of high school and up until we got married
02:50:13.380without catching something. But apparently she did catch HPV. Fortunately, it doesn't seem like
02:50:19.280she got anything worse than that. Well, when they're younger, they can fight it off easier.
02:50:26.200so if she had a ho phase in like high school you're less likely to well there's I think you're
02:50:33.060more likely to get it because they have more STDs like I think people use protection more when they
02:50:38.460get older but but the the girls have stronger immune systems when they're younger if that
02:50:45.240makes sense so like if she was in shape like sometimes they can just fight it off well you
02:50:51.360going back you know i've mentioned before i've been on uh on your talk line before uh going back
02:50:57.360into the 70s there was a lot of promiscuity going on um and so you know there was a girl in my class
02:51:02.640that had to leave early because she was pregnant and we did have people that the big thing back
02:51:07.680then was syphilis and gonorrhea which was absolutely nasty and there were cases where
02:51:13.520people get tagged with that um so i'm not sure i mean i just you know i just marveled at the fact
02:51:19.760that it wasn't we didn't wind up having to deal with anything worse but it never occurred to her
02:51:24.560even as a husband you know of a wife that you know she could potentially by her fooling around
02:51:29.760bring something home that i didn't ask for how how old was she when she was pregnant like how old
02:51:36.240was she when she got the hpv well let's see we got married um based on where the months of our
02:51:41.840our birth years fall. She was 20 and I was 21. Oh, wow. She had HPV that early? I heard you don't
02:51:51.140get, because I spoke to a doctor about HPV and they said mid to late 30s is usually when women
02:52:00.460get that. So if she had that at 21, she must have started early. She ran through a bunch of people.
02:52:06.260I mean, originally, you know, there was not a lot of disclosure and because I thought I knew her
02:52:10.880off and on from the time we were in our preteens that I had a pretty good idea who she was.
02:52:16.980But I, you know, we went to two different high schools. And so her group of people she
02:52:21.920circulated with were not directly connected to mine. And I didn't have a constant eye on her.
02:52:27.000So I had no idea. She was very, very promiscuous. And I didn't find out until later a little bit
02:52:33.820more detail once we were married. And she felt like she didn't have anything to lose by giving
02:52:39.260me much more disclosure and details and that it would actually maybe help her situation because
02:52:46.940you know i could have kicked her to the curb at that point and said hey look i'm going to divorce
02:52:49.900you on the grounds of of unfaithfulness and then she wouldn't have a leg stand on and that she
02:52:54.860wasn't ready for that so but i did have two friends when i was coming up in the 80s right
02:52:59.980after we got out of school one was about 10 years older than me so he was in his early to mid 30s
02:53:04.620and he drove a limo for a living. And he got, it went back in those days, like your previous
02:53:10.160caller mentioned, it didn't hang around as HIV. It went straight into full-blown AIDS. And these
02:53:16.620guys, they lost weight. You could see physically how the body was like deteriorating from the
02:53:22.480inside out. And then, you know, one day they were no longer in the public eye. And the other one
02:53:27.940was, he was a fellow I went to high school with. He was a classmate. His family and I were good
02:53:33.040friends i was close with his parents and his older brother and they moved him out of the hospital
02:53:38.120during the end of his life into a hospital bed downstairs in what used to be the family den
02:53:42.700and had like a miniature hospital room set up for him there and he literally wasted away i mean his
02:53:48.100eyes clouded over like he had glaucoma his cheeks sunk in were they both gay see that's the thing
02:53:54.840they were both buried oh now the younger one yeah the younger one said his wife would was his wife
02:54:02.400went off in a storm because she said she tested after he was diagnosed with it, and she was
02:54:09.180tested with full-blown AIDS. And so it was basically like, you've killed me, and I don't
02:54:14.360blame her. She wouldn't talk to him ever again. So in that circumstance, the claim was that he
02:54:20.880was the one that contracted it. We don't know in either case, because they were both supposedly
02:54:27.320publicly they were straight men with wives whether they were on the down low by curious or having
02:54:34.320gay sex on the side or whether they contracted it from a woman like would you guess were they
02:54:41.720fruity or no no not really I mean they were of course back in those days especially you know we
02:54:47.920had expressions like smear the queer and bag the fag I mean if anybody even seemed like you gotta
02:54:53.800watch the language man you can't drop that f word which one the f or oh the f i'm sorry about don't
02:55:01.240ever say that okay okay i get it i forget we're in different times and it's just and the q word
02:55:07.800don't say that either the q word okay well so we had those two uh inappropriate expressions back
02:55:13.640then um and i don't support the use of them and i know this channel doesn't um but it just goes to
02:55:19.480show the hostility that was openly out there in those days and people got beaten up even on the
02:55:24.120suspicion of something like that so any conversation you know that might have revealed something along
02:55:30.040those lines was very very very guarded yeah okay cool well thanks for calling in and telling us
02:55:36.280the stories i appreciate it absolutely you all have a good night and thanks again yeah you too
02:55:41.000always good talking to you buddy i'm gonna read the super chats okay um these people are at parties
02:55:48.360or hanging out with someone who knows nothing about their sex life.
02:55:52.360Percent of the population is a false statement.
02:55:54.360If you see a hot woman who's promiscuous, she is that percent.
02:55:58.360Whether she's one out of 20 or one out of four, all these people are loners.
02:56:02.360Oh, actually, when you're talking about the bi guys,
02:56:05.360I don't know if I told you this story before.
02:56:07.360When I was single, I was on a dating app,
02:56:14.360but I just, I just unmatched him because I don't know. I like looked closer at the profile and like him in person. I just changed my mind. I was like, no. And anyways, long story short, I was working out at the gym and someone, I never talked to him like in person. Like we just matched on the app for a day. Unmatched. That was it. And I'd never spoken to him in person, but someone I knew introduced me to him a different day. And they're like, oh, and that's his boyfriend. And I was like, oh my God, that's how women get aged.