Pearl - Modern Women Love Cutting Off Their Family

00:00:00.160 most if you pay attention most relationships are transgender meaning the woman is acting like the 0.99

00:00:05.840 man and the man is acting like the woman what up guys welcome to my reaction series today

00:00:11.200 we are going to be reacting to women that go no contact with their parents now i have a hard time

00:00:16.800 reacting to these videos because i don't really know who the villain is because a lot of times

00:00:21.440 it's easy to blame gen z women but boomer women were terrible too so usually if they go no contact 1.00

00:00:28.400 with their parents it's it's one of three things right number one the the daughter's insufferable 1.00

00:00:33.200 and unappreciative that's one two the mother is insufferable and makes it so insufferable to go 1.00

00:00:39.520 home that um yeah that's two three is the mother turned the daughter against the father so one of

00:00:49.040 three and we're gonna go together in the chat you can say what you think it was so discourse lately

00:00:55.440 about going no contact with family aka estrangement and how this is a growing trend amongst young

00:01:01.040 people i think the conversation can get a little bit too black and white so i wanted to offer

00:01:06.160 what i like to think of as the secret third option there are absolutely situations and

00:01:10.400 circumstances in which going completely and 100 no contact permanently and forever

00:01:15.760 is the right move now i don't know there's different parents are overbearing right so 0.93

00:01:21.280 So like a lot of times they got to let their kids grow up, but at the same time, at the

00:01:26.400 same time, sometimes the kids are insufferable.

00:01:30.620 So let's see.

00:01:31.080 Move for that relationship.

00:01:32.120 These are relationships that are unfixable.

00:01:34.340 They're unworkable.

00:01:35.080 They're abusive and they're harmful to one or more parties.

00:01:37.960 But there are a lot of relationships that live in this middle gray territory that would

00:01:42.720 really benefit from what I like to call a relationship reset period more than a complete

00:01:49.120 and total permanent severing.

00:01:50.800 our longest held relationships can get caught in time in these like because sometimes it just needs

00:01:56.360 to be like a few years um and then they they figure it out but sometimes things need to get

00:02:02.040 broken to like come back together i don't know if that like makes sense relational dynamic loops

00:02:07.000 that over time we outgrow but every time we drop into the dynamic we're forced to play this role

00:02:13.100 that was established a very long time ago so these are relationships where the role that you play in

00:02:17.520 the dynamic supersedes your individual personhood. And it's not necessarily that you're, you're

00:02:23.040 outright harmed in the dynamic. It's, it's not necessarily that you're completely unseen

00:02:27.400 or completely disrespected, but we used to have kids. So like no contact, you could just be like,

00:02:34.160 well, I'm busy with my kids. That's the challenge. Now no contact means more because you're like,

00:02:39.220 yeah, you're obviously not busy. You're not accepted for who you are now. You are seen

00:02:46.600 through a filter of perhaps who you once were or who other people have always wanted you to be.

00:02:52.800 These sort of relational dynamics are not totally unworkable. They can be if the other parties are

00:02:57.200 completely committed to never changing at all. But oftentimes what they benefit from is the

00:03:02.040 severing of the old dynamic. So it's a temporary period of estrangement that declares I will no

00:03:08.240 longer be showing up in that capacity. I will no longer be playing that old role. And it asserts

00:03:14.540 you don't know me as well as you think that you do, right? The estrangement creates strangers.

00:03:21.540 And so after a period of estrangement, you can re-enter the relationship and establish a new

00:03:28.120 dynamic. You re-meet each other in a different period of time under different circumstances

00:03:33.600 as new iterations of self. I think the reason that this is a quote-unquote growing trend is in part

00:03:39.520 because there's an increased conversation around abusive dynamics and that we do not have to remain

00:03:43.940 in them that you don't deserve to but i also think in part it's because a lot of relationships are

00:03:48.900 going through this reset period i mean i i think people have the right to their hell either way

00:03:53.140 so if you know there's nothing necessarily wrong with going no contact um you know if it's a

00:03:59.220 mistake they'll find out it's a mistake later you know where people are presently or are going no

00:04:04.340 contact who may not choose to be that way for the duration of their entire life but who need to

00:04:10.100 enter that period of no contact for a chapter in their life. There's something like an 80%

00:04:15.540 reconciliation rate with mothers and a 70% reconciliation rate with fathers in parent-child

00:04:20.420 estrangement dynamics. Life is both long and short. It's important to live with the awareness

00:04:27.260 that we don't have... Okay, I'm gonna need to move on to the next one. She needs to get to the point.

00:04:32.440 All right, let's see this one. Basically led me to my breaking point in going no contact with my

00:04:36.920 parents. I'm not gonna talk about things that happened in my childhood. Obviously, we know

00:04:39.840 like they were not good people but honestly i thought once i moved out it was going to get

00:04:43.100 better so i very quickly realized that it was not going to get better so the first one is i would

00:04:46.780 still make up rules that i would have to follow whenever i would go to their house like i remember

00:04:50.380 the first couple times that i had to go to their house after i'd moved out they didn't say anything

00:04:54.760 to me about me having my phone in like certain areas of the house and then randomly like like

00:04:59.680 the third or fourth time i went over there after i'd moved out i had my phone in my hand and i was

00:05:03.380 going into my okay this is a brat i mean if it's someone else's house you still have to it's like

00:05:08.880 women man yeah when you go to someone else's house you do have to obey their rules sister's room my 1.00

00:05:13.660 mom was like just because you moved out doesn't mean the rules are different you need to leave

00:05:16.520 that out here even though i had already done that like several other times before when i had visited

00:05:20.500 and it was never mentioned basically i just think she was doing it to like show that she was like

00:05:24.200 the boss or something i don't know there was also one time where i basically called my mom asking her

00:05:27.880 to say sorry and to stop acting the way that she acts she basically like admitted to doing it but

00:05:31.800 also like wouldn't take accountability for doing it basically she wanted me to drop it and slip it 0.99

00:05:35.520 under the rug and i wouldn't let that happen i was literally like i just wanted i'm sorry i just

00:05:38.760 want you to say sorry she was like fine i'll say sorry and she was like i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm

00:05:42.660 sorry it was not genuine at all she was literally mimicking me on the phone all right i'm i'm going

00:05:47.040 with the kids the brat in this when she started doing that i basically just hung up on her and i 0.96

00:05:50.880 text her i was like you're disgusting maybe the mom is too dang i never want to talk to you again 1.00

00:05:54.820 this is like my basically like overall breaking point for everything it would try so hard to 0.95

00:05:59.680 sneak around to find out things about me genuinely like nobody would ever really like call and check

00:06:04.680 up on me i asked my mom would never ever to call me or text me even before we went no contact never

00:06:09.220 call up and text me but she was always doing things to try and figure out what i was doing 0.81

00:06:13.560 she was always trying to figure out where i was at they literally put a tracker in my car without

00:06:17.640 my knowledge really anytime i would have a missed call from my dad i was all right i'm getting

00:06:21.480 overbearing mother and bratty daughter i'm getting both literally calling back it would always be 1.00

00:06:25.660 like oh sorry i didn't mean to call you it was never like oh i was just calling you to see how

00:06:29.140 you were doing like i never got a phone call like that no wonder i just basically tracker tells me

00:06:33.320 crazy mom that's crazy yeah control freak mom brat dot yeah we realized they did not actually

00:06:39.320 care and they were actually just like obsessed with controlling me and that's like my overall 0.97

00:06:43.560 reason for not talking to them anymore bye guys okay um all right let's let's analyze this one

00:06:51.000 millennial child going no contact with you is it because they're ungrateful you fed and watered 0.96

00:06:56.040 them for 18 years yeah that's a bad i agree with the daughter on this because um if you kids do

00:07:04.840 not you're not entitled to gratitude for doing what you were supposed to do do you know what i

00:07:08.600 mean it's like uh you gotta you were supposed to pay your kids till they're 18. now if they keep

00:07:15.080 doing it that's another thing but you did take on the responsibility of children and that's an 18 0.75

00:07:20.440 year you know because they told you a hundred times what hurt them and instead of listening

00:07:25.160 you played victim became emotionally abusive i'd have to know what specifically hurt you and then

00:07:30.520 they had to set a boundary what is emotional abuse you got to go into that protect themselves

00:07:34.680 the way you wouldn't protect them who said that your millennial child let's see and to be fair

00:07:40.680 millennials had terrible parents in general i mean um most of our parents like didn't i mean most of

00:07:47.080 the mothers were working just in general not great not great parenting millennial parents i mean they 0.77

00:07:53.160 raise these only fans whores going no contact is not a trend it's not an aesthetic and it's 0.96

00:07:58.840 not a personality trait it is quite literally a last resort nobody just wakes up one day and 0.95

00:08:04.520 is like you know it would be fun to cut off my mom to cut off my dad to cut off my siblings

00:08:10.520 and to walk through the holidays alone no contact is what happens after years of being the scapegoat

00:08:20.200 of being dismissed of okay what does that mean do you know what makes me believe this story less

00:08:26.600 i gotta be honest it's the background music for me um a little bit the horse teeth um

00:08:33.240 unseen of being the peacemaker of being the emotional punching bag going no contact

00:08:39.880 is the final boundary that every like it's just dramatizing it do you know what i mean like

00:08:45.080 Like, I feel like less problematic people, they're just like, look, this is the problem.

00:08:52.340 This is what happened.

00:08:53.580 This is what I did.

00:08:54.860 So moving on.

00:08:56.400 Anyways, and then you just keep going.

00:08:58.100 But this is the music makes me think she's the problem.

00:09:01.100 One child doesn't want to set, but all of their other smaller boundaries have been crossed.

00:09:07.160 And there is no other option.

00:09:08.900 It's the moment you finally choose your nervous system.

00:09:11.900 Go for the narrative.

00:09:12.760 it's the moment that you decide you are not going to continue playing the role that your family has

00:09:18.740 cast you in who are calling no contact a trend have obviously never grieved a family that was

00:09:23.660 still alive they never had to choose between their mental health and a seat at the holiday table

00:09:27.860 they've never cried in their car after setting a boundary that should have been respected the first

00:09:32.360 time so no going no contact with your family is not a trend it is a response to trauma and it is

00:09:39.460 a healing decision now in her defense right there are a lot of overbearing mothers there's a lot of 1.00

00:09:44.740 mothers that take no direction from the father right and this completely implodes the family 0.81

00:09:49.460 dynamic because our nature is chaos um it's chaotic when we don't have male guidance so

00:09:56.420 um now to be fair to the fathers um i mean that women don't accept the guidance so it's like uh

00:10:02.660 you know so um most if you pay attention most relationships are transgender meaning the woman

00:10:10.900 is acting like the man and the man is acting like the woman but i i still think the music

00:10:14.900 is gonna my final thing is i think it's her and if this is your first season no okay yeah let's

00:10:20.100 go to the next one but what in writing what your wishes are i don't know my boundary is my

00:10:25.620 My wishes are either I leave or you leave. These are my wishes. So how is that going to be executed?

00:10:36.500 Because you said no contact. I respect your no contact, but I'm not going to keep walking around

00:10:42.160 in a space where somebody does not want to have no contact with me. That doesn't make sense. Why

00:10:47.680 would you want to be in a space with somebody that you don't want to have no writing? Put what in

00:10:51.100 writing what your wishes okay i'm a little confused so she lives at home and is going no

00:10:56.540 contact um okay let's try this one my dm's asking me this crazy question about can you go no contact

00:11:03.100 with a parent that you still live with and i'm going to hurt a couple of feelings with this

00:11:06.460 answer because no baby you cannot when you are over 18 and you're living in somebody else's house

00:11:11.580 you're a guest you're a guest you don't legally have to be there so what do you mean i'm gonna

00:11:16.220 go no contact but still live in your house no contact means i don't have to speak to you

00:11:20.860 i don't have to be governed by yeah okay the mom i would say the mom would should kick her out 1.00

00:11:28.140 you can't be relying on some like that's kind of yeah they should kick her out your rules and if 1.00

00:11:32.620 you live in a person's house then you absolutely do see you're not entitled to a person's financial 0.74

00:11:38.140 support because they abused you and as a matter of fact you should be running from their financial

00:11:42.060 support because you know it always comes with strings people who have really been abused by

00:11:46.540 their parents and have who have been taken down through there by their parents understand this

00:11:50.940 and before a person say oh you entitled you don't know ball baby i've been on my own since i was 17

00:11:55.580 paying my own bills and making my own way one of the things my mother used to say to me that really

00:11:59.980 stuck with me is if you want to be grown and you go get your own mortgage and that's exactly what

00:12:04.140 i did and i know the times are hard right now but you have a decision to make the decision though

00:12:10.300 is not making the rules in your parents house go get you a mortgage of your own if you want to be

00:12:14.860 be no contact okay i agree with that i agree with that okay let's see the next one you go no contact

00:12:20.260 with my toxic mother now i do still live with her and she pays all of the bills incredible that's 1.00

00:12:25.960 incredible the mother is paying for the daughter to talk to i bet the mom is toxic i don't know why 1.00

00:12:31.860 but well let me that is not the point this has been a really hard decision but i need to prioritize

00:12:37.360 my peace because my mental health matters and sometimes that means cutting off the people who

00:12:41.840 are hurting you even if they're family even if you live in their house even if they pay your phone

00:12:46.980 bill your car insurance and buy all of the all right she needs to get a job yeah she needs to 0.99

00:12:51.680 get a job trees you eat because those are just things and things do not erase trauma my mom is

00:12:57.480 i actually agree that just because someone buys you a lot of times people like i'll give you an

00:13:02.960 example men want their money to matter to women but women don't care about money we care about 0.90

00:13:07.240 their behavior or we care about money when we're forced to care about money but in general

00:13:10.520 we look for like character traits you know so um yeah genuinely so toxic she's always asking me

00:13:18.780 questions like did you eat or what time are you coming home tonight can you clean up after

00:13:22.980 yourself like i'm an adult this has to be trolling i can do whatever i want she doesn't 0.97

00:13:28.700 get to interrogate me every day just because i live in her house rent free so i've decided i'm

00:13:34.020 done engaging when she tries to talk to me i'm gonna plug my ears and if she keeps going i'm

00:13:38.660 gonna go la la la la la until she stops that's called a boundary and when she asked me to do

00:13:45.560 chores i'm gonna stomp to my room slam the door and put a pillow this has to be trolling 0.93

00:13:50.480 go over my your job decided to go no contact with my it's called a boundary and when she asked me

00:13:56.900 to do chores i'm gonna stomp to my room slam the door and put a pillow over my head because i don't

00:14:02.560 deserve that kind of negative energy in my life and yes i still eat the food she buys but i wait

00:14:07.960 until she goes to bed so I don't have to see her face. I tiptoe to the kitchen at around two in the

00:14:13.520 morning to have my meals. That's called strategy and protecting my peace while I get the nutrition

00:14:18.580 that I deserve to heal. And for everyone saying that's not what no contact means, yes it is.

00:14:24.380 It means no emotional engagement. It doesn't mean I have to move out of her house. Why would I move

00:14:29.300 out of her house? I don't have a job and I don't want to pay bills. I'm not about to be homeless

00:14:33.580 just to be able to set a boundary and prove a point she owes me she's the reason i need therapy

00:14:39.200 so the least she can do is continue to pay for everything while i do my healing and if she calls

00:14:44.100 herself trying to come into my room to talk i'm hiding under the covers and holding my breath

00:14:48.520 and she's just gonna have to deal with that i'm an adult now and this is what adults do

00:14:52.600 anyway i'm on a healing journey i'm in my peace era and i'm setting boundaries and protecting my

00:14:58.340 mental health stay toxic free besties i feel like this has to be trolling the gynecologist telling

00:15:04.960 you that your periods can't be scooped out are okay i was like this has to be a troll okay there's

00:15:10.760 no way all right guys um i think some of those women will you know i think some of them are a 1.00

00:15:18.600 little crazy but some of them it's valid you know because again most relationships right now are

00:15:23.240 transgender and um because we're all in transgender relationships um a lot of stuff's messed up but

00:15:30.060 some people do need to go no contact to get away from their overbearing mother anyways guys let 1.00

00:15:34.100 me know what you think in the comments make sure you like the video and subscribe to the channel

00:15:36.740 i love you all thanks so much for watching and i'll see you next time

Pearl - January 24, 2026

Modern Women Love Cutting Off Their Family

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