Pearl - Modern Women's WORST FEAR Is Doing TOO MUCH ｜ Pearl Daily

00:00:00.000 Thank you.

00:00:30.000 good afternoon everybody welcome to the just pearly things youtube channel make sure you

00:00:55.520 like the video on your way in and subscribe to the channel thank you all for being

00:01:00.000 here tonight i am so excited to be back in the united states and streaming again you know it's

00:01:07.120 been a couple of months since i streamed and it's given me a lot of time to reflect on the last

00:01:15.280 three years and for those of you that don't know maybe you're new to the channel i went from

00:01:20.480 selling copiers in milwaukee to interviewing a thousand women in england about marriage relationships

00:01:26.800 culture family um you know my life changed basically overnight um from doing three years

00:01:36.180 of shows so the theme of this week is lessons i learned from three years of shows i was a normal

00:01:43.760 woman selling copiers in milwaukee when i stumbled upon a kevin samuels video that video changed my

00:01:50.740 life his content inspired me to do panel shows where i interviewed over a thousand women and

00:01:56.580 men about marriage and relationships these are some of the lessons that i've learned

00:02:02.980 over the past three years when i listen to women talk about their fears and obstacles they have

00:02:08.500 encountered in dating and even obstacles i myself have had in the past there is one thing that i

00:02:15.460 would hear i did so much for him i want a one in the chat if you've ever heard a woman say that

00:02:24.100 she did so much for you um someone says volume slow i'm watching your comments guys if you have

00:02:31.940 okay if you guys have comments just let me know i would hear women talk about how they cooked

00:02:39.940 cleaned and catered to a man who did not appreciate it i would hear women talk about how they gave

00:02:47.460 their best years to a man maybe the woman was with the man for 10 years and he never married her 1.00

00:02:53.940 Those women were very bitter. Maybe the woman moved to him only to have him change his mind. 1.00

00:03:01.140 Maybe the woman changed her career and deleted her Instagram and it ended with no ring and no 1.00

00:03:06.100 children. So, what if you cook clean and submit to a man who does not appreciate it and it rewards 1.00

00:03:13.220 the behavior? When I spoke to women, this seemed to be a common complaint. From my observations, 0.99

00:03:19.300 it boils down to a couple of things. When women say they were not appreciated in their last

00:03:24.840 relationship, it generally means the women are doing things with the expectation of getting 0.76

00:03:31.340 something in return. We all know that person in your life who you refuse to accept favors from 0.88

00:03:41.120 because if you do, they will hold it over your head later. Many times without knowing it,

00:03:47.100 women become that person what about all i did for you why did you let me do that what i have found

00:03:53.900 is a more healthy mentality to have is to give without expecting anything in return when i think

00:03:59.260 about the most warm and feminine women i know they consistently give to their community and

00:04:04.380 family without the expectation of getting something in return i would personally rather

00:04:09.260 get nothing at all than receive something from someone who expects something in return for 1.00

00:04:15.260 giving it to you the next explanation is that women are were not nearly doing as much as they 0.87

00:04:21.500 thought they were sure maybe they cooked and cleaned for their husbands but isn't that what 1.00

00:04:25.900 they're supposed to do don't you have to eat too maybe she gave him a really good gift one time 1.00

00:04:31.820 maybe she cooks dinner once a week but generally women overvalue what they do and undervalue what 0.95

00:04:37.340 the man is doing this is why we have phrases like you need to build a man up men build themselves 0.70

00:04:44.060 the build themselves up and we can either be assets or liabilities we tend to forget

00:04:51.980 what we tend to forget is how much men do for us the shows the reality tv shows they watch for us

00:05:01.420 that they don't even like all the events that they get dragged to that they don't want to be at

00:05:06.940 sometimes women do the right things but so is a man and you can do the right things and not get 0.96

00:05:15.660 the guaranteed and sometimes you can do the right thing and still not get the outcome that you

00:05:21.980 desire life is not fair and there are no guaranteed outcomes it goes back to do not give in order to

00:05:28.300 get give because you want to give and hope it's mutual sometimes in other times i would see that

00:05:35.420 woman had a glaringly negative personality trait that needed to be fixed before a man would take 1.00

00:05:40.700 it to the next level maybe she would nag constantly maybe she was disrespectful 0.83

00:05:46.700 oftentimes men will date women in hopes that they will improve or maybe get better 0.97

00:05:51.980 and the reason that he would not take her down the aisle or give her a ring is one the laws that we

00:05:57.740 talked about you know but we've gone over those on this shows other times it's because there is a

00:06:03.580 but i love her but insert negative trait

00:06:11.180 it is not the right man oftentimes i would hear women who spent their 20s with influencers

00:06:17.180 entertainers rappers and even at times drug dealers like drug drug why didn't a drug dealer

00:06:23.420 marry you what are you guys doing um who would not commit to them the women picked the wrong man

00:06:30.700 to give the best of her too so what i learned from this is there's no guaranteed outcomes in life

00:06:36.460 there are women who do all the right things and wind up single mothers i know a woman whose 1.00

00:06:40.860 husband has brain cancer and she will and likely end up a widow there are some women who took a

00:06:46.460 king who took a gamble and gave their best years to there are women who took a gamble and gave a

00:06:52.940 man their best years who was not ready in life there are no guaranteed outcomes and saying you

00:06:58.220 did too much for a man who did not appreciate it is thinking that the outcome is in your control 1.00

00:07:04.700 and that itself is not feminine in order to combat this many women nag in order to get what they want 0.97

00:07:11.180 they nag for the ring instead of trying to be worthy of it how many women ask themselves how 0.95

00:07:16.140 they can be better to deserve a ring instead of nagging for one and at times i would see it work 0.71

00:07:22.220 i would see men get their feet dragged down the aisle but it's not really the same

00:07:31.340 it's not really the same sentiment when you nag a man into taking you down the aisle than when

00:07:36.860 he wants to do it now what do the men say about this when i ask the men if they ever 0.77

00:07:43.660 had a woman that did too much for them the answer is overwhelmingly no

00:07:47.900 um but if a man did feel like he passed up on a good girl generally he will say it was not the

00:07:57.660 right timing he was too young but if it was not that it was generally one of the reasons i listed

00:08:03.820 above many men feel as though we want the ring and the children more than the man a story that

00:08:13.340 i think of is there is a man and he was a successful um entrepreneur and he was dating a

00:08:21.980 woman for a couple of years he loved this woman he wanted to be with her the rest of her life

00:08:27.740 she wanted to get married he did not feel like that was in the cards for him because of the laws

00:08:34.940 and he had spent a lot of times building himself up to be something and he said from that he

00:08:41.980 realized that she wanted the ring more than she wanted him she had him she had his time she had

00:08:47.740 his attention he wasn't seeing anyone else but she wanted the ring women very rarely give without 1.00

00:08:55.580 expecting to receive something in return this is why when women get the kids in the ring oftentimes 1.00

00:09:01.420 they stop caring about the man i have heard men say that their wife completely changed after 0.88

00:09:07.820 marriage and after children i know two women in college who were more on the traditional side

00:09:14.940 one woman was dating a man who was on the lacrosse team and one was dating a man on the basketball

00:09:19.500 team they both wanted to be with the men the guys were kind of players right they were kind of the

00:09:27.980 hard type to get to settle down they really had the option to be with a lot of women on campus

00:09:34.220 they both stayed both of these women stayed with the man in a non-committed relationship

00:09:39.020 for all of college by the way i don't recommend this or say this as the best course of action

00:09:44.140 i just look at results one woman got dumped after college and he went on to be a player for most of

00:09:49.820 his 20s the other woman married him and is now pregnant with his child i would say that the

00:09:56.300 woman that had the worst outcome was actually more feminine than the one that got married 0.97

00:10:01.180 again life is not fair and life is about choices and trade-offs some women choose to go after

00:10:06.940 highly desired men and the trade-off is that if he feels like it you're out the door other women

00:10:13.180 choose to go after less sought after men and it will be more likely to be a sure thing some women 0.77

00:10:18.460 leave these situations bitter and make the next guy pay that is where you get the don't do too 1.00

00:10:25.180 much for him content these are generally older women that used their youth on a man and didn't 1.00

00:10:33.660 get the outcome that they desired that's where you also get the i do not perform wife duties 1.00

00:10:39.820 for girlfriend treatment content again these are women who did things with the expectation of 1.00

00:10:45.740 getting something in return and it did not pan out so they make the next man pay femininity is about 0.72

00:10:52.700 selflessness selflessness it's not about keeping score all you can do is be the best version of

00:10:59.020 yourself and you cannot control the universe so what made me think of this monologue today was

00:11:06.460 a video that i watched a couple of years ago and i remember watching this video when i was

00:11:14.620 younger and i totally thought jennifer aniston was in the right it's called the breakup it's about

00:11:24.700 um jennifer aniston and vince vaughn um they're dating in this um in this movie and they end up

00:11:30.860 breaking up this was a super viral scene and i'm hoping that youtube lets me keep it up please um

00:11:44.620 Okay.

00:11:45.620 Let's go.

00:11:47.620 I'm going to go do the dishes.

00:12:02.620 It'd be nice if you help me.

00:12:07.620 No problem.

00:12:12.620 So it starts there, right? It would be nice if you helped me. And I know on the surface, right, a lot of women think it's simple, right? Oh, just help her with the dishes. But again, what is she cooking and cleaning for him because she wants to or because she's expecting something in return? I'm also hoping YouTube keeps this.

00:12:42.620 want to do them later let's just do them now take 15 minutes oh honey i am so exhausted i just

00:12:46.620 honestly want to relax for a little bit if i could just sit here let my food digest and just try to

00:12:52.860 enjoy the quiet for a little bit get some get some get some that's what happens and we will

00:12:58.860 you know we can clean the dishes tomorrow you know i don't like waking up to a dirty kitchen

00:13:02.940 who cares I care me me me I want it done now me me me my way or the highway 0.52

00:13:13.200 care all right I care I busted my ass all day cleaning this house and then

00:13:18.420 cooking that meal and I work today it would be nice if you so right there we

00:13:22.680 have we have it again I did this I did this so you must do this and thank you

00:13:29.440 and helped me with the dishes fine i'll help you do the damn dishes oh come on so now he's doing 1.00

00:13:36.860 it right and this is this is you know it shows the dynamic women nagging right and they get what 1.00

00:13:45.280 they want is that how you want to get what you want you know what no let's see that's not what 1.00

00:13:53.040 i want you just said that you want me to help you do the dishes i want you to want to do the dishes

00:13:57.540 Why would I want to do dishes?

00:14:00.220 Why?

00:14:01.060 See, that's my whole point.

00:14:03.320 Let me see if I'm following this, okay?

00:14:05.440 Are you telling me that you're upset

00:14:06.580 because I don't have a strong desire to clean dishes?

00:14:08.840 No, I'm upset because you don't have a strong desire

00:14:11.040 to offer to do the dishes.

00:14:12.620 I just did.

00:14:13.400 After I asked you.

00:14:14.940 Jesus, Brooke, you're acting crazy again.

00:14:16.780 Don't you call me crazy.

00:14:18.260 I am not crazy.

00:14:19.220 I didn't call you crazy.

00:14:19.900 I didn't call you crazy.

00:14:20.860 No, I didn't.

00:14:21.440 I said you're acting crazy.

00:14:22.600 You know what, Gary?

00:14:23.500 I asked you to do one thing today,

00:14:24.960 one very simple thing,

00:14:25.980 to bring me 12 lemons,

00:14:26.960 and you brought me three.

00:14:28.540 If I knew that it was going to be this much trouble,

00:14:31.300 I would have brought home 24 lemons,

00:14:33.080 even 100 lemons.

00:14:33.960 You know what I wish? 1.00

00:14:34.820 But see, this is her getting mad just to get mad.

00:14:38.620 They're in New York City.

00:14:39.900 How far is a lemon?

00:14:42.520 You can't just walk down the street

00:14:44.460 and go get a lemon.

00:14:50.260 This is why I say a lot of times, 1.00

00:14:52.040 women, we just argue to argue 0.61

00:14:53.620 that the solution is so easy. 1.00

00:14:55.980 So easy.

00:14:56.620 everyone that was at that goddamn table had their own little private bag of lemons

00:14:59.640 that's all you're talking about i'm just saying it'd be nice if you did things that i asked it

00:15:04.980 would be even nicer if you so when you think of like a kind sweet grandma right who spends her

00:15:10.600 whole day slaving away in the kitchen for you you never get this attitude with it and this is the 1.00

00:15:19.640 problem with the women in our generation, we just do things oftentimes in order to control people 1.00

00:15:27.340 or in order to get something in return. The things without me having to ask you. 1.00

00:15:34.200 Well, I do seem to remember doing something for you this morning without you asking.

00:15:39.180 Carrie, come on. I'm serious. No, I'm serious. I really am. Come on. You knew I was working today

00:15:45.660 and I made that meal, and you could have thought to yourself,

00:15:49.160 you know, you could have said, 0.61

00:15:50.460 I think I'm going to get Brooke some flowers.

00:15:53.460 You said on our very first date that you don't like flowers, 1.00

00:15:56.920 that they're a waste of money.

00:15:59.040 Every girl likes flowers, Gary.

00:16:00.720 You said that you don't like flowers.

00:16:01.800 I'm supposed to take that to mean that you do like flowers?

00:16:03.580 No, this is not about... You're not... You're not...

00:16:05.400 You're not getting it. You're not getting this, Gary.

00:16:08.140 Okay, it's not about the lemons, it's not about the flowers,

00:16:10.200 it's not about the dishes, it's just...

00:16:12.020 How many times do I have to drop hints about the ballet?

00:16:15.060 You know I can't stay.

00:16:16.380 Brooke, come here.

00:16:17.440 We talked about the damn ballet.

00:16:19.020 I hate the goddamn ballet. 1.00

00:16:20.860 You got a bunch of dudes in tights flopping around for three hours. 0.99

00:16:23.660 It's like a medieval techno show.

00:16:25.260 It's a nightmare.

00:16:25.800 I sit there in a sweat.

00:16:26.680 The whole thing, I do.

00:16:27.400 I wonder when the hell's the goddamn nightmare gonna end

00:16:29.240 going to a damn ballet.

00:16:30.380 It's not about you loving the ballet, Gary.

00:16:32.100 It's about the person that you love loves the ballet,

00:16:34.500 and you don't want to spend time with that person.

00:16:36.700 Not when they're at the ballet.

00:16:37.580 Okay, forget the ballet.

00:16:38.480 Forget the ballet.

00:16:39.820 We don't go anywhere together.

00:16:41.660 We just went to Ann Arbor together.

00:16:45.280 To Ann Arbor, to the Michigan Notre Dame game.

00:16:48.520 You think screaming drunk kids and leprechauns doing backflips, that's fun.

00:16:54.020 That's fun for me.

00:16:55.440 Come on, man.

00:16:56.160 I did that for you.

00:16:57.140 What do you, how do you show up for me?

00:16:58.620 I'm up on the bus every goddamn...

00:17:00.900 So this is what I was saying before.

00:17:03.960 I do this, I do this.

00:17:05.920 She doesn't notice what he does.

00:17:08.720 She only notices what she does. 0.89

00:17:11.660 And when I hear women talk about this, or, you know, even at times where I've thought like this, 1.00

00:17:19.900 it's really, it's a problem with the woman because she is keeping score. 1.00

00:17:27.900 I'm busting my ass to be the best poor guy in the damn city so I can make enough money to support 1.00

00:17:32.460 both of us. And hopefully you won't have to work one day. I want to work. All I ask, Brooke, is

00:17:37.420 that you show a little bit of appreciation,

00:17:39.460 that I just get 20 minutes to relax when I come home

00:17:41.980 instead of being attacked with questions 0.92

00:17:43.660 and nag the whole damn thing. 0.99

00:17:45.640 You think that I nag you? 1.00

00:17:47.420 That's all you do!

00:17:48.740 All you do is nag me. 0.99

00:17:50.320 The bathroom's a mess. 0.99

00:17:51.480 Your belt doesn't match.

00:17:52.480 Hey, Gary, you should probably go work out.

00:17:54.500 Nothing I ever do is ever good enough.

00:17:56.680 I just want to be left the hell alone.

00:18:06.820 Really?

00:18:07.420 Is that what you want, Gary?

00:18:08.960 Is that what you want?

00:18:10.240 Yeah.

00:18:10.600 That's what you want?

00:18:11.300 Yeah.

00:18:11.580 Fine, great.

00:18:12.240 Do whatever the hell you want.

00:18:13.520 You leave your socks all over this house,

00:18:15.420 dress like a pig,

00:18:16.860 play your stupid-ass video game.

00:18:18.660 I don't care.

00:18:19.260 I'm done.

00:18:20.540 What?

00:18:21.120 I am done.

00:18:22.180 I don't deserve this.

00:18:23.120 I really do not deserve this.

00:18:24.720 I deserve somebody who gives a shit.

00:18:26.880 I'm not spending one more second of this life

00:18:29.060 with some inconsiderate prick.

00:18:31.920 You're a prick. 1.00

00:18:37.420 this is why i say usually when there's fights it's kind of the woman's fault she could have 0.68

00:18:48.400 just did the dishes she could have just did the dishes but now it's like this huge deal you did

00:18:56.780 you didn't do this this this and this she has every place that he fell short which i am sure

00:19:03.640 and this is the thing about men they don't really bring up where we fall short they really don't

00:19:10.440 you know men are much more forgiving women it's like we bring up things from like two years ago

00:19:16.060 on march 2nd 2002 you did x y and z and that's that's the issue with women a lot of times we 0.79

00:19:25.660 have a harder time letting things go

00:19:28.240 yeah okay you guys get the idea they broke up

00:19:50.120 that was that was the end that was the end of the do the dishes

00:19:55.560 it's a medium in which our minds communicate differently yeah and this is this was kind of

00:20:04.800 one of the red pilling moments that i had um interviewing a thousand people was

00:20:11.840 in the media online on youtube you always get the man's or the woman's point of view on

00:20:20.480 relationships when the media publishes a movie the woman is always an angel the guy is always

00:20:28.400 the guy that didn't appreciate her the bad guy who just yada yada yada and when i interviewed men

00:20:37.360 about their side of the story i mean even even that right you can see what the movie is getting

00:20:43.600 at the movie is getting at that poor jennifer aniston she does so much for this guy he doesn't

00:20:51.680 appreciate her he just behaves like a child and she is the angelic woman who just could do no wrong

00:20:59.680 you can tell it's written by a woman it's written for women and that scene went viral because many

00:21:05.440 women identified with it. And the issue you get with that mentality is when you're keeping score

00:21:13.900 and you're doing things to get things in return, nobody wins. And

Pearl - September 05, 2024

Modern Women's WORST FEAR Is Doing TOO MUCH ｜ Pearl Daily

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