00:05:56.600Burned my whole entire life to the ground, which has included either quitting or getting fired from my job, ending up going into debt, ending up in severe depression and needing to be hospitalized, struggling to maintain employment at different points.
00:06:14.120And so there is so much internalized shame on my end.
00:06:44.220And I grew up with the free school lunch of needing to go get that milk carton.
00:06:49.620And growing up in the suburbs where most of the kids had money, when you were on free school lunch, you knew it was obvious when you were sent back to go get that milk carton if you forgot it because you needed it to participate in the free school lunch program.
00:07:02.480Being on chip, like free Medicaid, free government, health insurance, being on food stamps at different points, being on disability now as an adult, knowing that working a traditional nine to five has never worked in my favor because of my brain chemistry.
00:07:23.720Because I'm lazy and I want to blame something.
00:07:28.220And so now that a doctor gave me something I could blame, I will blame it instead of a poor character trait.
00:07:34.700It's got to be my chemistry and my brain is bad.
00:07:37.880A lot of people who have known me for long enough have seen the results of me working and grinding and trying to fit in and assimilate into our world in a quote unquote normal way.
00:07:52.220I would love that if that was my reality.
00:07:54.700What I'm coming to find is a lot of the folks that are living on the streets that are living for us in Philly and Kensington, who are on opioids, on fentanyl, on heroin, who are struggling with severe addiction and mental illness, are people with similar brain chemistries to mine.
00:08:11.400People with a lot of trauma in their past, people who have experienced psychosis, a lot of us who see things and feel things very deeply.
00:08:19.700And so what I want to just summarize all this to say is I didn't want to make this video.
00:08:26.540I didn't want to talk about the fact that I've had to be on food stamps at different points in my adulthood.
00:08:31.780It's not something that like I have I have a lot of internalized shame around being poor, around being disabled.
00:08:39.780But that's something I need to work through, because how can I be an advocate for other?
00:08:44.020Oh, my God. OK, I have had enough of this woman.
00:08:46.780How can I be an advocate? We don't need you as an advocate.
00:09:25.140OK, they tell me that there's 30 some people ahead of me and I could be on hold for a very long time.
00:09:33.400So I'm sitting there. I'm waiting. I'm waiting because I'm really getting irritated because, first of all, I didn't get my food stamps.
00:09:40.220Second of all, I have to sit here and wait a long time to sit here and speak to somebody.
00:09:44.580But OK, they tell me from the food stamp office.
00:09:49.760Oh, you didn't for you didn't turn in one piece of paper.
00:09:56.080What paper didn't I turn in? Because you didn't send it in the mail.
00:10:01.560Like, I hate that they did send it in the mail, but she was just too lazy to keep up with the changes going on in the government.
00:10:07.440And then she wants someone to blame. So she'll blame the people in the food stamp office be playing with my food.
00:10:11.460All right. Yeah. So anyways, guys, I love seeing these people crash out because I'm tired of working men paying for this stuff.
00:10:20.340It's not fair. You know, ladies, if we don't want to be wives, fine.
00:10:23.540Be whores. Whore out. You know what I mean?
00:10:25.540But I actually think that women that are prostitutes are more respectable than these women, because at least the prostitutes, they're providing a service.
00:10:33.980I mean, they got to put their somewhere. I mean, somebody's got to do it.
00:10:37.880You know, that's at least a service to men. They're offering sexuality.
00:10:41.540What are these women offering? Nagging. Nothing else.
00:10:44.020Anyways, guys, like the video, subscribe to the channel, and I'll see you next time.