Pearl - Most Married Men Make Terrible Dating Coaches？

00:00:00.000 All right. What up guys? Welcome to the Just Pearly Things YouTube channel and welcome to

00:00:04.800 Morning Coffee Thoughts where I give my thoughts over morning coffee. Today I'm going to be talking

00:00:10.540 about why I actually don't think it matters if you're married or not to give marriage and

00:00:16.560 relationship advice. Now before I start I'd like to say on this channel that's not typically what

00:00:22.840 I do so don't misconstrue is that is me saying you should listen to me about it but what I wanted

00:00:29.000 to say is what I realized when I first got into the manosphere. I would hear Kevin Samuels talk

00:00:37.420 and something about the way he spoke it just rung like true to me and it was some of it was

00:00:44.400 triggering some of it I denied at first but I would just listen to Kevin Samuels talk

00:00:49.120 and I thought a lot of what that man says is correct whether I like it or not but Kevin

00:00:57.560 Samuels had been divorced three times and I began to question maybe people shouldn't listen to him

00:01:05.180 I mean he's divorced right and I'd like to say why it doesn't matter because for a relationship

00:01:14.860 to be in order it needs two things the man has to run it and the woman has to look up to the man

00:01:21.280 and desire him and want to be with him the man also needs to want to be with her but it's not

00:01:28.840 nearly as important and what you realize is there are men that have been married 20 30 40 50 years

00:01:37.380 that have been letting their wife run the relationship for a lifetime and so what I found

00:01:44.120 is that typically the people that are more humble about it like the people that you know say this is

00:01:51.220 just what worked for me tend to be better relationship coaches and give a little bit

00:01:57.240 more practical advice where the ones that are like they it's weird they almost make their them

00:02:02.240 being like married part of their brand it's it's completely weird and you'll see it like

00:02:09.000 matt walsh's wife did this to me where she's like i've been married 10 years and i'm thinking like

00:02:13.420 bitch sorry she seems nice but i'm like lady i know people that have been married 20 30 40 years

00:02:19.980 and I would not trade places with them

00:02:21.940 because they are so miserable.

00:02:25.000 And that's the tough thing

00:02:26.760 is until you learn to like pick out

00:02:29.680 what makes a relationship look in order,

00:02:32.720 you really don't know how to tell the difference.

00:02:35.680 So when you're younger,

00:02:37.860 you know, you have people like Matthew Hussey giving advice.

00:02:42.120 Now, Matthew Hussey is getting married.

00:02:45.420 He's probably gonna stay married,

00:02:47.540 But Kevin Samuels probably gave better advice than Matthew Hussey.

00:02:53.040 You know, Steve Harvey gave like the worst advice ever.

00:02:57.800 And Steve Harvey gave the worst advice ever.

00:03:01.800 And he was married.

00:03:03.440 So it's really confusing out there who to listen to and who to not listen to.

00:03:09.700 Obviously, this doesn't mean everyone.

00:03:11.600 But a couple things that I noticed of how to tell a relationship is in order.

00:03:16.440 more traditional. One is, does he have to ask his wife for permission to do things or can he just

00:03:24.560 do it? You know, I had a tweet go viral earlier this year where I said, let me ask my wife with

00:03:30.080 a barfing emoji. To me, the equivalent of that is let me ask my child. Let me ask my child what

00:03:39.760 we're going to do because you know you could talk to her but really and truly the final decision

00:03:46.360 has got to be on the guy and the the second thing is could he move across the country say

00:03:53.200 uproot I'm going to uproot my entire life I want you to come with me will she just say okay I

00:03:59.400 support you and I trust you okay another one another one when they ask the couple's questions

00:04:08.340 who answers does she answer or does she look to him to answer is the house decorated how he wants

00:04:16.100 it or how she wants it do they eat the food that he likes or that she likes and so it's like

00:04:21.920 interesting because you'll have these people relationships are an interesting like

00:04:26.440 they're an interesting point of life because you'll have people that maybe were married 20 30

00:04:34.340 years but i i mean you can't say it's unsuccessful if they're still married i guess but i don't think

00:04:43.200 most people would envy it if the woman's running the relationship um because what you see with

00:04:48.540 those guys is they become a shell of themselves they really become like little bitches you know

00:04:53.020 we'll just bitches you know and i don't say this in a happy way but you know this is why

00:05:00.040 you know that that point it's really just a moot point it's really not about that you know the

00:05:06.780 question is is the information correct and when I first got into you know the manosphere stuff

00:05:14.240 I would listen to like Donovan Sharp and I thought he was kind of nuts like he would tell me things

00:05:21.240 you know he had this course called like womanies and when she says this she means that

00:05:25.800 and I was like you're kind of overthinking it Donovan that doesn't mean anything whatever

00:05:31.620 a couple years later I had to get some like real life experience you know interviewing chicks

00:05:38.480 interviewed a thousand women paying more attention to what women do versus what they say and honestly

00:05:45.100 Donovan was right like you know when a girl says you're such an asshole he said I mean she wants

00:05:51.520 to screw you. And I was like, no, maybe he's just a dick. And I was like, then I find out women love

00:05:56.920 dicks. We love assholes. But the problem is like, we live in this delusion. Like most women don't

00:06:05.120 live in reality. So we'll hear things that are completely true, but we're so self-centered that

00:06:11.960 we're not really paying attention to the world. We're paying attention to ourselves until at 37

00:06:17.940 reality hits us in the face. You know what I mean? But yeah, this is why I want to talk about

00:06:25.060 dating coaches. I honestly think I have gotten more useful information from divorced or single

00:06:35.100 men, not women. Women are just going to lead you down a destruction typically than I've gotten

00:06:41.960 from married men, dating coaches. That's the crazy thing. Like I've probably got more useful

00:06:49.140 information from single men versus from married men, because most married men are kind of bitches.

00:06:57.820 I'm sorry. They're going to clip it. I don't care. Most of them are because they didn't,

00:07:04.860 they won. Their train of thought was always what she wanted. So they're always thinking what she

00:07:10.640 wants, how she feels, when really the guy has to think about himself first. We hate it when you

00:07:17.780 think about us first. I mean, we might complain, but you know, we hate it deep down. And so a lot

00:07:28.020 of married guys just want to get the first girl that they can find and just, you know, go to church,

00:07:33.780 marrier and from what I've seen that doesn't really work even if they stay married you know

00:07:41.460 the guys are kind of feminine you know and I don't you know mean this in a rude way but even

00:07:48.360 like I watch Matt Walsh and his wife in Iraq they're cute I hope they stay together but

00:07:52.140 you know she looks like she runs that relationship that's how it appears to the viewer

00:07:57.580 um ben shapiro you know he he talks about how uh what did he say he said you know he'll always

00:08:05.520 brag about his wife his wife's a doctor and then he'll also say like i begged like she wasn't ready

00:08:11.820 to go out with me and i had to basically convince her for a couple months oh that's a bad sign

00:08:17.880 now i'm not saying they might stay together i don't know but that's still out of order that's

00:08:23.340 of order women are happiest when we're obsessed with you not the other way around we don't like

00:08:27.900 it when the men are obsessed with us and truly if a girl wants to be with you she'll get on a plane

00:08:34.700 she'll get on a boat she'll she'll do anything she'll get there um to be with you so

00:08:43.580 the problem is such in my opinion such a small percentage of marriages and relationships are in

00:08:50.220 order because most of us were not raised to do that. Most of us were not raised to be wives,

00:08:57.960 not raised to be mothers, not raised to be masculine fathers. So none of us really know

00:09:04.960 what we're doing. So I mean, that's my opinion on it. Okay. I think the best dating coaches are

00:09:14.480 single men. I really do. Um, the non-simpy ones. There's a lot of simpy ones too though. So, you

00:09:23.700 know, uh, but let me know what you guys think. Um, discuss in the comments. These are just my

00:09:30.060 unfiltered thoughts. I could be wrong. Like the video on your way out. Subscribe. I'll talk to

00:09:34.340 you next time.

Pearl - January 12, 2024

Most Married Men Make Terrible Dating Coaches？

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