Pearl - May 31, 2025Most “Trad” Women Aren’t Actually Traditional w⧸ @thisisshah
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Summary
In this episode of the podcast, we have a special guest on the show, who is a journalist, author, researcher, and researcher. She's also the co-host of the popular podcast, . In this episode, we talk about the dangers of traditional marriage, divorce, divorce culture, and what it means to be a modern woman in modern society.
Transcript
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that's the thing when i started like researching this stuff was i was surprised at how much of the
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same problems i saw you know because you always hear from trad cons to just find a special woman
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that's like different and they might say you know i've had certain ones say it's different with this
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race i think some say that it's different with this class yeah i've had some say it's different
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with this religion and when i started interviewing victims of divorce rape i didn't really see a
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difference i i saw like women doing terrible things across all of that i could say where i mean at
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least for where i worked i mean the the people from whatever background seem to match the percentage
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of the population where i live anyways um so i never i never looked at it and thought oh there's
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uh you know this many people or i've never seen a someone from this religion or that religion i
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i'd see people that you wouldn't expect to be getting divorced and they ended up across the
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table from me so i working there for five years i wish i could tell you and tell myself oh my god
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all you got to do is find this specific thing and you're guaranteed she's never going to leave you or
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something like that but no i never found that demographic what do you think about all of the
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like tradcon arguments about just finding a good woman uh well like a religious yeah i mean you know
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they'll say stuff like well you know just find somebody that shares your values and to some extent
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it's like okay i can kind of see what argument they're trying to make but then at the same time
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it's like you'll see people even that there's a lot of what i call cosplayers maybe other people
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do to or undercover feminists i've heard that term um and there's a lot of people who can portray that
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well enough but i i don't even i think you know the people who are quote unquote that thing can still
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have a likelihood of ending up getting divorced and i've i've spoken to people as much who've done that
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i don't think it's some surefire way of anything i think you're really gambling it especially with them
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too i think the tradcon proposal is particularly dangerous because they um have this heavy emphasis on you
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know mom staying home mom not working mom not bringing any kind of financial contribution to
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this and she submits and does all that yeah mom makes sourdough and you know does all this has the
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wooden spoon and all that they're all about the cosplaying but i my personal opinion is i i think
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we're just kind of in a new era beyond that and anything you see is people trying to portray that
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but they're not actually that thing we're not organically creating these kind of traditional
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right because you can't even be in a traditional i was actually on a show the other day explaining
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that you can't be in a traditional relationship because women always have the leverage yeah i mean
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you can be um you can be someone who makes a lot of money like you can be a guy with a lot of money
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and you can ostensibly find some woman who wants to stay at home that's younger but it can still blow up
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in the era of no fault divorce all she you don't even have to be divorced you can just walk into the
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child support agency and say hey i'm we're not living in the same house um i want child support
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and this is what i say the custody is and we will file against them i mean you know when it comes to
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the top of my head tyrese gibson is someone you know what i think of as someone who makes a lot of money
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and he found somebody and that didn't end up well i know stephen crowder is another example of a tradcon
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and they all turned on that guy really fast um yeah i i think it's largely an imbalanced proposal
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and what they'll do i just heard matt walsh say this and he'll say grandfathers grandfathers and for
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centuries and centuries you know men provided and women did this and this is what men biologically
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want to do but they give this very reductionist view of history and it misses a lot of important
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things you know like one of the rabbit holes i've been going down on my channel is uh the dowry and
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the history of the dowry and wherever you see monogamy uh you see the dowry and uh the dowry is
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essentially a transfer of wealth that happens at marriage but it happens from the bride's side
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um and it goes to that new couple so it's pretty much an endowment on the woman and it says you're
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leaving this family your family has this much money for you and this is to help set up the new
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household so in certain places like greece cyprus a typical dowry would be a fully furnished house
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a paid off house you know that that was the expectation for a middle-class family
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in greece yeah inside time here like when did the dowry start the dowry started around the time
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agriculture changed from uh light tools like the hoe and digging stick to heavier tools like the plow
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uh as far as the time period of what i'm speaking of specifically that's like right 1970s cyprus i'm
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talking about right now now there's a good paper i had a discussion with paul elam and we went over
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that paper and they're talking about uh so as recently as the 70s yeah wow yeah i figured it would
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be like 100 years ago plus yeah i mean there's a lot of stuff uh from around then different places um
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sort of abandoned it at different times i think england and us are probably earlier they're one of
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the first places to get industrialized uh you see kind of romantic love take over as you know when
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modernization comes in uh it tends to have a lot more job opportunity that's kind of different from
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what people are usually doing so people can say screw you mom and dad i'm gonna live in an apartment
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with my girlfriend and we love each other and you know it it just ended up that way and then they're
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more interested in college and things like that but so in the u.s was that like the 20s then because
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isn't that when it was like the 1880s to the 20s i think and i think i think in the u.s i don't
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remember exactly but i think that would have been sometime in the 1800s yeah the u.s was kind of known
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for abandoning these things a little bit earlier and the reason is is because you know even in a lot
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of europe divorce didn't exist um it was annulments basically all throughout christendom basically
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and then after you get your revolutions there it changes but the u.s was one of the first places
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right after the american revolution to start saying okay we can do divorce now and then they created
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their system of at-fault divorce um but you know it's in some places it was still happening
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but england and there it started to to fall out of favor um especially as they got rid of i think
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that's called uh coventry i kept no not country i can't remember the word for it um where the husband
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isn't manages the finances and the woman can't take debt um so they start getting rid of that i think
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late 1800s and it falls out of favor but the reason i think it's so important is because the dowry is the
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missing piece in how monogamy actually works and it's what i call the check against hypergamy basically
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so they get rid of the dowry system and they essentially instill what is the love match so
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it's we love each other it doesn't matter what class you come from uh there's all these rags to
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riches story this guy can leave his farm and go get a job over here and you know now he makes all this
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money i can take care of a family of five screw you father-in-law and we can do whatever the hell we want
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to do uh that's just a very short blip in history and you know as as it goes on now we're starting
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to see this this situation again where houses are becoming harder to afford for the average person
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typically both people do need to work if they're going to do this uh having a house and two kids
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and a wife is like a million dollar venture at least over that you know period um so i i just hear
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the tradcon stuff and what they will do is say men need to be protectors and providers and they will be
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very hard on young men and they'll put all this pressure on young men they'll say men need to do
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better you know women just need to just be good women and men need to come in here and do all this
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stuff but then when i look at it historically i'm looking at all this stuff starting from you know
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the turn of the you know two millennia ago coming all the way down young men have never had the kind
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of pressure that they're putting on them and i would say unjustly because what would happen is
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they would get married he would have some kind of income that her family would know what his
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trajectory was going to be you say he's from this family it looks like he's a pretty sharp young guy
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we want to marry our daughter within the same class we're going to give her this dowry for her wedding
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when they get married they now have what's called a conjugal fund and this helps set up the new
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household it helps set up uh the trade shop or whatever for whatever this guy is going to be doing and
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then they would go in that way nowadays what we have is this really bad deal for monogamy you know
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so you'll have these trad cons that'll say you need to be monogamous you need to be do that the groom
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needs to make this much money and it's it she should never have to think about it they never mention
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anything about her family uh contributing at all and it's just impossible to do and you know when you look
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traditionally the way a family attracted a high status groom or a groom of equal class
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was they typically endowed their daughters with the dowry so if you're a groom um and you're looking
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at at your options on the table you're going to be okay with taking a monogamous match and focusing
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your time and efforts here because she's coming with something that's helped setting up a strong
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household you know could you imagine if i have a friend he's an electrical engineer okay he's got a
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master's degree and um you know and i only imagine like okay if he would have let's say he started his
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first job and he's making 100k a year 90 to 100 and his trajectory is to make a lot more whatever it is
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um and then there's some other family in the community maybe they know each other maybe it's
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some maybe it's maybe they like each other maybe they don't know each other that well
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but if her family was like you know okay she's 19 20 whatever uh you can go to college we can spend
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this money on your college tuition or you want or we can save this for your marriage we have 200 000
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set aside for you uh she coming with 200 000 might be a good match for my buddy here because okay let's
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put this into the down payment of the house right let's put both of our names on it you're gonna stay
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at home and have the kids until they're old enough and then if you want to get a job do that
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i'm gonna be working if this goes bust we split the house down the middle she has incentive to at
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least stay for some time it might still suck a little bit down the line with all this custody
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stuff but it would actually be a a match that made sense she's got skin in the game exactly right now
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they really don't have skin in the game it's just oh well i'm a you know i'm a submissive wife and i
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just want to stay home and do this right now you got to add in right now yeah right yeah exactly right
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now yeah and then eight years goes by and then he's sitting across the table from me and he's just
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like i don't understand she said she would you know yeah she said i do and all that stuff and and you
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know it's funny because with women like that i feel like they're kind of more incentivized to make it
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seem like the guy was abusive because they have to keep this i mean you saw that sauce with the
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crowder situation apparently the footage was edited you know that's what i've seen um yeah i'm like
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what did he do yelled yeah he was in the back smoking a cigar so he wouldn't be smoking around
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his pregnant wife and she came out there barefoot she chose not to put shoes on
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but anyways yeah so yeah i don't know so then it's just like okay he's a bad guy they get divorced he's
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now it's alimony now it's child support time um and it's just a stupid way of doing things you know
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so i i find it necessary to resurrect this i'm not so crazy to say oh we're gonna bring back dowries but
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what i'm tired of is them saying if a man tries to negotiate for himself when it comes to especially
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a monogamous marriage um that you're not masculine or something stupid like that you're not being a man
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that was the other thing as most of you know i have been fighting on the front lines of the simp
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epidemic for years but i need to tell you about a quiet weapon being ratcheted up against men that
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is rarely talked about it's not just the relentless anti-masculinity propaganda and only fans hoes
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causing the societal issues that we discuss on this show did you know that the average city's tap
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water contains trace pharmaceuticals and endocrine disruptors this often includes estrogen from birth
00:12:41.600
control the average adult consumes a credit card worth of plastic every single week that's five
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grams of plastic a week on average so it's no wonder that the average male's testosterone is half of what
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the average was 50 years ago testosterone levels decline one percent a year and without a course
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