Pearl - August 19, 2026


Patrick Bet-David Has NO IDEA How Cooked Dating Is


Episode Stats


Length

19 minutes

Words per minute

211.03

Word count

4,204

Sentence count

182


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 All right, let's react to this.
00:00:02.160 This is going to be a shorter show today
00:00:04.180 because I think I'm going to do a third one this weekend
00:00:05.900 because I'm going to put out the street interview from Sunday,
00:00:09.840 probably today or tomorrow, and then I want to review it.
00:00:13.360 So I'll probably review it either Saturday night or Sunday, maybe.
00:00:17.700 We'll see.
00:00:18.200 I think when we get it out.
00:00:19.780 Going on with young men, Gen Z specifically,
00:00:23.280 60% of them under 30 are not even dating.
00:00:26.040 By the way, 62% of them are not even wanting to date.
00:00:29.140 Gen Z men. This is a high of 2019 when it was 51%. So even though they're getting older,
00:00:35.360 the older they get, they're like, I'm not even interested in dating. Why not? You know what
00:00:38.420 the average cost of a date is for Gen Z today when they go out? $205. Who's expected to pay
00:00:43.140 for it? Of course, men. Millennials' average cost for dinner is $252. Gen Z is $205. The national
00:00:49.240 average is $189. We need more Gen Z dating because we need more babies, especially with our birth
00:00:53.760 rate dropping. I want to share with you, if you're watching this as a young man, St. Pat,
00:00:57.200 what can I do to succeed in a market because I'm looking for girls I'm going to give you certain
00:01:03.360 tips that helped me when I was 23 yeah this guy is going to give the worst tips ever I just can't
00:01:10.460 imagine anything of value he's going to add hopefully it'll help you out as well so if you
00:01:14.920 value out of this video give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel specifically the 51% of
00:01:19.140 you that consume the content on a weekly basis but you still haven't subscribed we're on our way to
00:01:24.340 get to 10 million subscribers. We're less than 3 million subscribers away from getting there.
00:01:27.920 It would mean a lot to us if you take a moment and smash that subscribe button. Having said that,
00:01:32.400 let's get right into it. Okay. Crisis by the numbers. We already know 60% of young men are
00:01:37.360 not dating. 62% are not even trying to date up from 51% compared to just 34% for women. So women
00:01:43.660 are like, no, no, I want to date. I want to go out there and meet people. Young men are like,
00:01:46.880 no, no, no, I'm leaving the marketplace. Yeah. But it's because women are insufferable.
00:01:51.480 young women have insufferable attitudes it's not even just the body count although that's one thing
00:01:58.100 but it's you know when i do um street interviews it's like okay i'll i'll ask you to do the
00:02:05.260 question of the day or whatever and the most people just politely say no and the young women
00:02:10.760 like snicker at you it's like damn ninja it's like all right just say no keep going but there
00:02:17.980 I don't want to do this. Apps like Tinder are heavily skewed towards male users. 76% of Tinder
00:02:24.720 users are men. So guess what? It's like going to a nightclub and it's not ladies night. You're going
00:02:30.100 to a nightclub and everybody there is a bunch of men at a nightclub. Your options are you want to
00:02:35.100 go to a place where women are. We're going to talk about that here in a minute. Studies suggest
00:02:39.100 roughly 80% of men are rated as below average in attractiveness, leading many to feel inadequate
00:02:47.220 or ignored you know what's the interesting thing okay you go to the women do you want to date a
00:02:50.860 guy you're not attracted to no same problem women will always share men are we taking away women's
00:02:57.480 choice no same problem it's a circle of life today i came back from speaking at the school
00:03:02.480 and there's all these kids in this classroom and i go up on the board and i write these numbers down
00:03:07.400 i write 14 and i write three i said can i ask you guys a question can anybody tell me what this 14
00:03:13.480 three means one girl's like that's a date according to a european calendar and they're
00:03:18.640 going through all this other stuff so let me tell you what this means i walk into this classroom
00:03:22.500 there was 14 girls to three boys and i sat there and i'm like wait a minute these are great ratios
00:03:29.280 one of the guys that's a boy's my son so i'm like hey son you listen you got a lot of good options
00:03:33.560 you're right these are these are the types of ratios you want so now if you're watching and
00:03:36.600 saying how do i put myself in a position to have more options so when they say 80 percent of it's
00:03:42.760 attractiveness all this other stuff look at some of the most beautiful women in the world are they
00:03:46.980 all married to attractive men not necessarily so what did these men have that these girls dated
00:03:51.940 and chose to go with them there's a reason for that we're going to talk about that so now biggest
00:03:55.720 dating fears pervasive fear of being perceived as creepy or toxic oh my god you're too much
00:04:02.060 this is too much this is too pushy so approach anxiety a growing fear of being viewed as
00:04:07.460 disrespectful. Well, the problem is they've, a lot of young guys have seen their male friends
00:04:13.300 have real consequences for approaching in public. Um, I mean, I'd still recommend to do it, to be
00:04:19.640 honest, but, um, you know, it's not really going to change what it is. Uh, polygamy is the best
00:04:27.640 option seeing as how women want masculine men and too many men refuse to become masculine. That's
00:04:32.720 true it's true you know polygamy it's not something i'd really i don't know to put it i don't want to
00:04:38.840 say i'm pushing it but i just can't deny that it logically makes sense i saw these polygamy channels
00:04:45.140 they're like bring her to the polygamy conference i'm like look i'm not i'm not that deep with it
00:04:50.120 i just you know i think logically it does make sense even though i think it would be difficult
00:04:55.840 for me personally to accept you know who's watching the kid me lol that is the answer love
00:05:01.160 intrusive or contributing to toxic masculinity has caused many young men to stop approaching
00:05:06.920 women in real life, which by the way, young men, if you're listening to this, you're creating this
00:05:11.200 imagination. This doesn't exist. By the way, this has been around for a long time. You know what the
00:05:15.520 hardest thing is today? There was a video the other day with Charlize Theron, the actress that's been
00:05:19.880 a lot of different movies, devil's advocate, a lot of different movies. This is supposed to be one of
00:05:23.720 the most beautiful women in the world. I think she was also in that movie with golfing legends of
00:05:27.840 bagger vans with matt damon if i'm not mistaken can you verify this the girl's asking her so how
00:05:32.900 many men approach you she says you'd be amazed nobody it's like wait what you're this beautiful
00:05:38.680 no one's no one's approaching me why not i don't know well she's old now they're scared guys are
00:05:43.080 scared so you really think if 34 of women are out there that are off the market but 61 maybe men are
00:05:51.540 just giving up and they're getting a little bit scared because the reality of it is women what
00:05:55.680 the right ones want you to approach them and a lot of but here's the issue is that even the top
00:06:01.420 approach like men always will look at things as an art so the top approach artists let's say they
00:06:06.540 have like a 10 success rate which would be uh pretty like 10 date rate and then let's say they
00:06:12.840 sleep with like five out of 100 that's so much time that you have to put in to get good at
00:06:18.580 approaching women and then they have to ask themselves what do i get out of this maybe sex
00:06:24.300 but for how long, how good is the sex risk of STDs, you know, men just do the cost benefit
00:06:30.740 analysis. And they're like, okay, I know a few guys that have gotten completely screwed by hooking
00:06:34.820 up with the wrong girl. You know, it's not even, I don't even think it's just, um, the sex for men.
00:06:43.340 It's just the constant problems that come with dating a woman. Guys are getting out of the
00:06:48.360 market. This is kind of like when 2008 happened. You know, what happened to realtors overnight?
00:06:52.480 we had some 600,000 realtors in America in 2006, 2007. Overnight, 40% didn't renew their licenses.
00:07:01.120 240,000 left the real estate industry because it was so difficult. So it's like, oh my God,
00:07:05.180 it's so hard to be in real estate. Yes, but if you're good, the market's going to come back to
00:07:09.720 you and have an option because you have more homeowners that are looking for fewer realtors.
00:07:12.700 So you can look at that as an edge. Now let's look at this because some of this is valid.
00:07:17.060 Some young men are really going through this. Matter of fact, what's so funny about this topic
00:07:20.180 is this was the conversation we were having this last saturday night when we're out with the family
00:07:24.520 it was about dating when my 14 year old 12 year old and my family was sitting there we're going
00:07:28.020 through it barriers to dating survey shows that the biggest barrier to gen z dating is not having
00:07:32.800 money 52 percent of survey agree watch this not enough time because of career so there's a guy on
00:07:38.320 twitter maury hill he actually ran a cost per nut hold on with his friends i guess here let's see
00:07:46.740 where is it okay he compiled data from him and his friends last 100 hinge dates looks range from
00:07:54.540 5.5 to 7.8 beautiful mid um 27 out of 100 dates led to the hooking up total spent across all 100
00:08:03.060 dates 11,842 um breakdown 7,300 um drinks and drinks average is 73 per date 1,800 for dinners
00:08:14.720 in the app, 742 random coffee, walks, ice cream, et cetera. Um, cost per nut is $354 because most
00:08:24.600 took until the date third date to hook up. Um, the most efficient pipeline to drinks back to a
00:08:30.820 apartment, $87 cost per nut. Worst performer did five dates, $1,122 spent and got, and I think
00:08:39.660 we're better as friends text on date six um so you know with these numbers you have to think if
00:08:46.380 it's taking guys three dates to hook up with a girl that means that most of them are dealing
00:08:51.160 with girls hooking up with someone else that don't like them that much i'm 42 and these needs
00:08:56.000 this dude and these dudes need to step it up the juco rocks okay for your education priorities i'm
00:09:03.480 so busy i'm just trying to get my career going i'm going to school i don't have the time today
00:09:07.100 Great. Men agree. Women agree. Blue is men. Don't want to commit long-term. So they're afraid of
00:09:12.880 long-term commitment. Okay. Bad dating experience in the past. You know who's had it? Every single
00:09:18.060 one of us. Either you were the bad experience or the girl was the bad experience, but we've all
00:09:22.200 been part of that experience. Most of us lack confidence. I'm worried. I don't have the
00:09:26.460 confidence. We can work on this. Not enough money for dating activities. We can also work on that,
00:09:32.840 which we'll talk about here in a minute. So when we go lower and we're looking at the dating cost,
00:09:36.140 it leads us to this okay dating marriage skills gap desire and attitude are not the problem they
00:09:43.420 want to build connections that explore long-term partner this is young men young adults need dating
00:09:47.540 skills yeah the issue um the issue is a lot of things women require like women want you to be
00:09:53.140 popular and it's so much money in the cities to be a popular person and then people leave they
00:09:59.180 come back it's like yeah and chad hooks up for free so lack of i would think more men want long
00:10:07.560 term relationships than women experience social and emotional confidence stretch develop social
00:10:11.940 skills struggle to express interest in dating partner struggle to communicate on a date less
00:10:17.020 than four in ten thirty seven percent said they trusted their judgment when it comes to choosing
00:10:21.720 a dating partner there's a book i read which my assistants many many years ago told me about i
00:10:28.200 said, listen, I just made a decision. I'm never getting married. I enjoy my own company. She says,
00:10:32.120 yeah, yeah, whatever. I said, no, I'm telling you, I'll go to movies by myself. I'll go to dinner
00:10:35.380 by myself. I enjoy my own company. She says, before you decide to be single, single the rest
00:10:39.800 of your life. This morning I was listening to this Christian radio channel. And this guy was
00:10:44.080 talking about a book called 101 questions to ask before you get engaged. So she says, you should
00:10:48.740 go buy it. So I'll buy the book. It sits on my desk. I do nothing with it. I'm thinking I don't
00:10:51.800 have time to go through a book. I open it up. It's literally a question and an answer. You write
00:10:57.400 the answer is blank. So I went and started answering all the questions. Some of the questions
00:11:01.180 were not important. I think 54 of them were important to me. By the time it was done, I was
00:11:05.360 like, all this time, I thought I knew what I was looking for for a woman. I was looking for this.
00:11:11.060 That's crazy. And then I wrote out exactly what I wanted to look like physically, literally height,
00:11:16.900 personality, temperament, because I wanted to see how she was going to be my kids.
00:11:20.440 My personality is here. I can't date a girl like this. When I did, we almost killed each other.
00:11:24.740 It was like World War III.
00:11:26.320 Try to kind of find a way for temperament, right?
00:11:28.340 I'm thinking family, kids, long-term.
00:11:30.660 And when my wife and I went on our first stage.
00:11:32.620 Pearl, as a woman, why watch this?
00:11:35.600 Ninja, why are you here?
00:11:36.660 You're here to nag me about the video I choose to watch?
00:11:39.840 You paid me to nag me.
00:11:42.760 Why are you watching this?
00:11:44.160 What are you, a woman?
00:11:45.440 I'll take the $2, but get out of here.
00:11:48.740 You know what I told her?
00:11:49.680 I said, I'm not here to hook up with you.
00:11:51.000 I said, I'm looking for a wife.
00:11:52.340 I took her to Borders.
00:11:53.460 I bought the book for her 101 questions to ask before we get engaged I said if this freaks you
00:11:58.280 out I'm super comfortable with that if you're just thinking I want to go out and have fun that's not
00:12:03.240 this guy there's plenty of guys out there I managed the expectations right there and I made sure she
00:12:09.360 know I'm okay if I lose her yeah you can't lead with long term now that's kind of women women's
00:12:15.740 like, um, we love taming the bad boy, you know? So I, I really don't recommend men. Okay. You
00:12:24.220 can't tell women your intentions. I think it's actually kind of low IQ to just, and I don't
00:12:30.780 think he's a low IQ guy. Obviously he's very smart, but just, are you going to like tell the
00:12:35.400 enemy what you're going to do? Women are the enemy. Like that's, that's treating her as if
00:12:39.500 she's a good person. Women aren't good people. Right. So you tell her, Oh, I want something
00:12:44.280 long term now she's gonna not tell you about all the whoring she did she's gonna assume you have
00:12:49.740 no choice because it's like imagine what kind of guy's gonna say that a guy with no bitches that's
00:12:56.560 just how our hard wiring goes so i always see on dating apps men put like looking for marriage
00:13:01.960 it's like um like why would why would men put that since the beginning of time women have
00:13:09.780 always been monetized. Nothing is free, fellas. That's life. Too many times if you're kind of
00:13:15.440 like, well, but what if I lose her? That's a turnoff. No, this is my standards. This is what
00:13:21.540 I'm looking forward to. This is what I'm going to do with my life. If you value that, let's go. If
00:13:26.880 not, I totally get it. If your approach isn't that way and the girl's looking at you saying,
00:13:31.720 why is this guy so insecure about his position and his situation where he's at? This is where
00:13:35.180 this is what i want to do my life and remember that wasn't the case with me in 2002 when i was
00:13:41.820 24 years old 23 years old i was oh my god i got to get this but i had to shift my mindset because
00:13:47.420 i had to increase my what what was the confidence here somewhere it says confidence i had to
00:13:51.100 increase this so when it says 37 percent questioning their judgment why because you're
00:13:56.460 second guessing yourself you don't believe in what you're doing now decision making with the
00:13:59.580 business is the same exact way raising your kids is the same exact way you know what i don't know
00:14:03.740 know if I'm a right a hundred percent, but this is what we're going to be. I actually think this
00:14:07.120 is why successful men struggle in love because they go at it from like a business transaction
00:14:13.380 and women are based on feelings. At least I'm leading to people I'm working with. So stay with
00:14:18.120 me here. Cause I got some notes I wrote on the side that I'm going to go through with you as
00:14:21.420 well. So I want you to think about a couple of things here. Remember I told you to Charlize
00:14:25.300 their own story. Remember I told you where she's like, boys are not approaching me. Okay. So guys
00:14:31.200 don't talk to her is it on her that guys are not talking to her is she too you know masculine and
00:14:39.760 girl guys the one masculine girl so maybe it's unattractive that you're too masculine so some of
00:14:44.240 the ladies watching this i'm a girl boss i'm a this i'm a that the other day i was watching a
00:14:48.540 podcast with joe button i learned a lot about women i think i learned exactly how the fall of
00:14:53.940 man occurred in the garden of eden adam and eve were in the garden of eden and adam said one day
00:14:58.240 wow Eve here we are at one with nature at one with God we'll never age we'll never die
00:15:02.080 and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them and Eve said yeah it's just not enough
00:15:08.460 is it that's not funny I was just waiting for more that's hilarious well that was kind of his
00:15:15.840 point she says I don't get it I didn't think that was a big deal Joe says the guy just made his
00:15:22.600 point because no one can make you happy. So, but those are not the girls to pursue because you're
00:15:29.100 never going to make them happy. You'll be miserable if you're pursuing those girls. So if you're
00:15:33.220 watching this, you're like, Hey, I'm that girl. Well, good luck to you. I don't know what kind
00:15:36.400 of a guy you're going to find, but you're going to make us happy because we don't want to date
00:15:40.080 a masculine girl. So maybe she's the problem. Maybe, maybe it's on the guys that are scared
00:15:45.280 saying, well, she's too pretty. She would never be interested in me. Maybe she would be, maybe
00:15:48.740 you ought to take the risk maybe it's 50 50 maybe it's five percent is it worth taking the risk sure
00:15:53.280 what's the worst thing she's going to say not interested okay great and you move on right and
00:15:58.160 then maybe it's you know sex is too evil so it's kind of like well i don't know about that i'm just
00:16:04.620 going to go swipe right and you know a couple of our guys when we're on the road and we're doing
00:16:08.280 interviews one of our guys i won't say his name we're in la and it's like yeah i'm going to see
00:16:12.000 what the la market's like i said what the hell does long time fan first time donor can you do
00:16:16.580 a whiteboard on overweight women coping, I absolutely can. Doug MPA, if you could just
00:16:21.980 put that in our whiteboard videos, I'll add it to the list for next. I've been married for 16,
00:16:27.240 17 years. I've been in the same relationship since December 29th of 2017. So I'm going to
00:16:31.500 swipe right to see what the LA market looks like. I don't know if you remember this or not.
00:16:34.860 I wasn't. It's actually disappointed. The next time I'm like, that's it? Here's that. That's it.
00:16:39.280 So you swipe right and you went and yeah. So it's become so transactional. Why would I flirt with
00:16:45.320 her i already got what i wanted so now you may say pat that's not me i want something serious
00:16:50.300 fair let's talk about that so what is the purpose of dating somebody what is the purpose of dating
00:16:55.820 the opposite sex is it a fling like i just want to go out there and have fun great so your outcome
00:17:01.920 is different go swipe right if your outcome is this go learn how to dm go improve your dm game
00:17:08.240 go improve how to oh no i didn't mean to do that sorry guys oh here we go what i'm talking about
00:17:15.300 that's the wrong approach maybe okay so i actually agree with him there because the red pill does
00:17:20.160 have answers you don't know the emoji game maybe you need to get a little bit better in the texting
00:17:24.300 part right because we used to make phone calls now people are texting but if this is the world
00:17:28.380 you're solving for it's a transactional world today we have to how do you solve for okay you
00:17:34.400 have this woman on a date that did sex work years ago and there's no evidence like that you know
00:17:39.600 that's a real problem for gen z is you find out the girl you're in love with does only fan go
00:17:43.680 pursue it. Today's transactional. Maybe you want to have kids. I want to have kids. I don't really
00:17:48.560 care who the wife is. I just want to have kids. Maybe you're lonely and you want some attention.
00:17:53.600 Friday night, you're sick and tired of going to the clubs. You would rather go out with somebody,
00:17:56.960 have a companion conversation. Your day ends. You come to your apartment. You're sitting there
00:18:00.820 watching ESPN SportsCenter. And honestly, your girlfriends become one of these guys on ESPN
00:18:05.700 that you watch every night or you watch a movie or networks or documentary. I just want to talk
00:18:09.340 to somebody. I want to have somebody. Great. That's what you're solving for. Maybe you just
00:18:13.140 want to be cool right and you're kind of like man i got a girlfriend buddy look at her she's a little
00:18:18.120 hottie because i'm cool i got a girl or maybe you want a spouse if you're watching and saying i want
00:18:23.920 a wife and you want to have a family you have to be selective and your approach has to be clear
00:18:31.060 and even if this turns them off turns them off so then this leads me to the last one it really
00:18:37.100 sounds like dating advice my dad would give because this is a smart guy right and he's just
00:18:43.200 like logically just you know who cares if they don't like you on to the next on to the next i'm
00:18:48.260 like dad you don't understand you don't know what it's like out there in these trenches
00:18:53.140 you have no idea they don't get it what leverage do you have in getting girls to come to you what's
00:19:03.100 your leverage everybody has to have leverage everybody you ever see these i'm sorry i can't
00:19:09.720 watch the end of this i'm getting bored i'm like all right i want to it isn't a skill issue brother
00:19:16.680 it's a motivation issue the juice isn't worth a squeeze help me when i was 23 bruh i'm already
00:19:23.340 checked out i think he doesn't really understand how the dating market is now came for the comments
00:19:28.560 was not disappointment pbd should take a read through no words on the dangers of divorce like
00:19:33.600 this video is delusional divorce will destroy your life and this guy just ignores it totally
00:19:37.720 unacceptable a four out of ten woman has more dating options than crimson hemsworth could
00:19:42.920 fathom let that think let that sink in um there's a reason i would never take dating advice from
00:19:49.740 married people they dated in a world that no longer exists and where the rules no longer apply
00:19:54.300 Okay.