Pearl - People Don’t Change as Much as You Think (Call-in Show)

00:00:00.000 what's up guys welcome to another episode of pearl daily here on the audacity network

00:00:15.840 um and i see you guys in the comments already some people are crashing out

00:00:23.040 because I use Nala in the thumbnail.

00:00:27.080 It is not my fault

00:00:29.100 that your Christian brothers and sisters

00:00:32.800 keep using corn stars in church

00:00:36.060 that make great thumbnails.

00:00:38.100 I'm not going to use the old trad women.

00:00:41.140 Do you know what I mean?

00:00:41.900 Like, if there is a hot woman,

00:00:44.580 you guys are going to come at me

00:00:46.020 for using her in marketing?

00:00:48.020 Are you kidding me?

00:00:50.760 BS.

00:00:51.160 So today, we're going to talk about personality traits and if they change over time.

00:01:01.580 Now, this show was actually inspired by a tweet that I saw, but if you guys want, you

00:01:07.720 know, you don't have to.

00:01:08.840 We are raising money for a divorce documentary, and I'd really like to get the editing started

00:01:13.980 in about a month, a month and a half.

00:01:17.800 So being that, there's a GoFundMe link in the description.

00:01:24.700 We're trying to get you $100,000.

00:01:26.400 It would be cool if you guys could donate.

00:01:27.740 If not, the show is free, so do enjoy.

00:01:30.520 Okay, so this tweet that I saw was from that guy that's trying to live forever.

00:01:40.300 Let me pull it up.

00:01:42.000 Brian Johnson, I think his name is.

00:01:44.340 and brian johnson is this guy basically who um he made like a billion dollars on i think paypal

00:01:55.020 or some app who cares right and then he decided that he was gonna you know it's funny i watch his

00:02:02.220 show and i always think that this is something autistic that i that looks like something i would

00:02:07.920 do the brian johnson guy if you see his page this guy um he want he has this like don't die thing

00:02:14.920 where he's like trying to live forever and he just autistically like measures every level of health

00:02:21.920 and i was laughing when i saw it because you know i would explain this to normal people like maybe

00:02:29.100 more well adjusted less online and they would say that's a crazy thing to do but i thought it was

00:02:35.120 kind of cool. Anyways, that's neither here nor there. He had a post about his high school reunion

00:02:42.120 and he said, I had my 30-year high school reunion last night. These sorts of events had a way of

00:02:49.800 inviting a unique sobriety of observation. First, the vast majority of everyone that had left the

00:02:57.560 Mormon church. This is very surprising given the deeply religious adherence of our small

00:03:02.580 30,000 person town during our childhood if my class is representative of mormon membership

00:03:08.840 generally the religion is evaporating at least in this geography and demographic i wonder if that

00:03:15.220 holds true for other religions so um i would agree with this sentiment in general i would say people

00:03:21.920 are less religious they the religious crowd if you find they tend to get studies from like

00:03:27.360 very right-leaning institutions. But generally, if you look at the general trends of church

00:03:34.400 attendance, it's mostly down. Second, everyone was basically the same as when we graduated.

00:03:42.000 After 30 years of life, the similarities of behavior were fun to see. This isn't surprising,

00:03:48.240 as evidence shows the stability of personality, excluding substantial life-changing events.

00:03:56.800 Third, given the stability of personality over a lifetime,

00:04:00.520 if you're not happy with your behavioral patterns,

00:04:03.140 best to be sober about the challenges of changing oneself

00:04:06.980 because you will inevitably become your pattern.

00:04:11.560 30 years is 10,950 days, and I left concluding,

00:04:16.960 one needs to live each day as if that day will one day determine

00:04:21.340 where they will be 30 years from now.

00:04:23.840 Fourth, statistically, by our 30th reunion, we'd expect to have lost less than 20 of our

00:04:29.340 classmates, but I think we've lost more many to suicide. In the next 10 years of age 50 to 60,

00:04:35.780 it's expected we'll lose 20 more and 40 more from age 60 to 70. Only 250 out of the 400 will still

00:04:43.440 be alive when we are 80. Fifth, our childhood experiences deeply affect our life outcomes.

00:04:49.640 Middle school, junior high, and high school can be especially brutal, and some people never recover or overcome.

00:04:56.100 This led many to not attend. For those that did, we found a vibe together last night that allowed for some long-needed healing.

00:05:03.580 It's insane how fast life happens.

00:05:06.260 I'm still struggling to comprehend how 30 years has passed, and many of my classmates are now grandparents, and I'm not too far off either.

00:05:13.780 I loved my childhood. I loved my friends.

00:05:16.060 of course, I'm exhibiting a bias of favoring the positive. However, in contrast to the world my

00:05:21.880 children grew up in, I'm grateful that we had so much freedom to explore, play, be independent,

00:05:27.040 and not be imprisoned to our devices. I wonder if social media and device addiction is really the

00:05:31.900 next great plague that we can't or refuse to see. Well, I think we all know that social media is

00:05:38.260 messing up our brains, but you can't really... I mean, I was thinking about this the other day.

00:05:42.640 I think most relationships start either through social media or dating apps.

00:05:47.420 So if you don't do it that way, you're kind of left behind.

00:05:51.120 I mean, you might die alone.

00:05:52.220 Not always, but I'm just, I'm saying that's a huge pond there.

00:05:56.880 If you don't do it that way, you're kind of cooked to some extent.

00:06:03.080 So this show, you know, what I thought was the most interesting about this topic

00:06:07.840 is what he said about personality traits

00:06:11.200 and how people consistently, even if it had been 30 years,

00:06:16.880 had the same core personality traits.

00:06:21.160 And this really got me in, like, deep thought for, like, two days.

00:06:26.180 I don't think that this is what social media is rotting our brain.

00:06:29.320 I don't think it should have had me thinking for two full days.

00:06:33.540 But I thought so much, I just thought I must.

00:06:36.200 I have to do a show on this topic.

00:06:38.200 now my dad he's the wisest guy i've ever met in my life i am so delusional that i literally think

00:06:47.320 my father is smarter than donald trump i do and my dad i say this to him sometimes and my dad is

00:06:54.800 just like what is wrong you know but i do i'm like i don't think i'm like if i wish i could

00:07:03.020 have a camera following my father for a day because that is the most productive most intelligent

00:07:10.640 and just good-natured man I've ever met really I mean it's kind of what made me in a way less

00:07:17.340 religious because my dad he's not really the most religious guy and he's the most moral person I've

00:07:24.160 ever met in my life and the religious people I would meet would be batshit crazy not all but

00:07:32.420 just enough, especially the women, if I'm being, if I'm going to be like for real here, women are

00:07:38.340 the worst marketing for any religion ever, ever. If you want people to come to your church, there's

00:07:44.880 this idea, and maybe the boobs will get the men in for a little bit, but then once the women crash

00:07:50.500 out, anyways, neither here nor there. So a couple of years ago, this story doesn't make me look the

00:07:58.500 best but I'm gonna tell it anyway um I was dating this guy my dad just was not the biggest fan this

00:08:04.520 was like in my early 20s and um you know I was talking to my dad about him and I was like dad

00:08:11.820 do people change you know like the bright-eyed bushy-tailed young little pearl right and he

00:08:19.100 looks at me and he said yeah people do change they get worse over time I gotta stop begging

00:08:26.420 at the desk don't I and he said they get worse over time so any trait you see now that you don't

00:08:32.340 like just know it'll be worse in 10 years it will not get better and this really had me thinking

00:08:41.180 at the time I did end up breaking up with this this guy I did end up dumping him but

00:08:46.700 it got me thinking um about what I'd seen in terms of people's personality traits but when you're

00:08:53.420 young you know i think there's just a level and this is why men love the young women we're just

00:08:57.940 so full of hope back then you know we're so naive we're so like bright-eyed and bushy-tailed um but

00:09:05.820 i personally know what it's like to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and have people um and i should

00:09:11.720 say movements take advantage of that in a way you know they sell you a future they sell you hope

00:09:17.380 when really no one can really say for sure what's going to happen but if we follow where the trends

00:09:22.300 are going it's all pretty much not great if i'm being honest here um neither here nor there i gotta

00:09:31.120 i gotta stop going down this so anyways at the time i was in my young 20s and when my dad

00:09:39.700 said this to me i didn't really have the life experience or the perspective to know if that

00:09:44.460 true or untrue. But I have to say, whenever somebody has done me wrong in life,

00:09:52.760 whenever there's been somebody, and I keep saying this on the show, whenever there's been somebody

00:09:58.200 that has done something negative towards me, I keep saying my enemies, they have a tendency to

00:10:03.660 take themselves out. There was a woman, I'm not even going to say her name, but she's been crashing

00:10:08.380 out on me for years and and i would say mercilessly has bullied me and you know i choose to be here

00:10:15.020 so i i'm not playing victim i'm not i'm just saying objectively i think she made videos

00:10:21.100 pinpointing every little detail of what is wrong with my face you know i i you know it's like i'm

00:10:27.900 just trying to talk and she has a a video nitpicking every little part of my face i'm like

00:10:35.020 like can a bitch exist you know that's how women are and it turns out you know I'm not even going

00:10:43.740 to the rumors about her but I'll just say they're they're 10 times worse and the things I found out

00:10:52.220 about this woman I'm like you have to deal with yourself I don't even have to get revenge and I

00:11:01.860 think that's really been true for the most part in life is people that have a super negative trait

00:11:06.880 about them it tends to not change and I would say it tends to just get worse over time. Now I do

00:11:14.440 think people have ideological shifts so I do think I have seen men and women go from conservative

00:11:22.260 to liberal and liberal to conservative and I do at times not Nala but I do at times think there's

00:11:27.660 genuine change in those shifts. Um, but, you know, for example, I have a close friend who he's a,

00:11:37.600 I love him, but he's a libtard. You know what I mean? He is who he is. And, um,

00:11:44.580 but he used to be very far right. And I would say the people that tend to go one way and go

00:11:50.960 another, it's more of a personality trait where they're just very open-minded, you know,

00:11:55.700 they're very and while they might believe one thing or another maybe they're really naive and

00:12:01.060 they're just that kind of person that is a naive person and that can be easily swayed one way or

00:12:07.320 another where you know I've always um I've always envied in a way people that could just

00:12:14.820 have an opinion and not have to talk about it or think about and think about every angle for

00:12:20.080 three hours because i guess i make money doing this now but in in an average world you know when

00:12:26.160 i was younger i used to not go out to bars like i would be invited to events and i wouldn't go

00:12:33.860 because i wanted to binge youtube like i think something is off with me do you know what i mean

00:12:38.900 i'm like that's not normal for a 23 year old woman to do like i you know and i remember my

00:12:47.120 friends they would they would ask me to go to stuff and i would just be really bored by the idea

00:12:52.400 of like going to this event where i'm gonna do what i'm a bad dancer now i have to get all these

00:12:58.000 calories i'm gonna have to work off later i should just hang out and do youtube i've heard the zoomers

00:13:03.120 are worse than the millennials i'm almost a zoomer but not quite so but it still gets me thinking i

00:13:10.800 I think people's core traits are the same,

00:13:13.680 but at times there is a skill deficit.

00:13:16.960 Give you another example.

00:13:18.400 I was never the type to really shake it

00:13:20.740 and move on the dance floor.

00:13:22.380 I never, I was always kind of grossed out.

00:13:25.340 But you know, when I was younger,

00:13:27.280 it was really grinding or nothing.

00:13:29.960 And I'm like, why do these have to be my choices?

00:13:33.000 It's like grinding or like white people jumping.

00:13:36.900 I'm like, these are my choices.

00:13:38.600 So I never liked dancing.

00:13:40.760 But then I learned the skill of salsa dancing.

00:13:45.260 And I actually thought it was really fun because, you know,

00:13:48.640 it was more of like a framework and I'm kind of athletic.

00:13:51.600 So I may act different in that environment.

00:13:56.320 In an environment I normally would just be off to myself because I had a new skill.

00:14:01.340 And I think that's true sometimes with men and women where men, I mean,

00:14:04.840 women are kind of scary and I think men know that from a young age.

00:14:07.900 You know, the woman says you hit her even though she hit you five times first in the playground.

00:14:13.100 And now you're grounded, right?

00:14:15.480 So men learn from a young age.

00:14:17.260 It's like women of all this power.

00:14:18.740 She'll insult you.

00:14:20.140 And then the second you insult her back, your mom's like, what are you doing?

00:14:23.580 You meanie?

00:14:24.200 And you're like, are you kidding me?

00:14:27.000 So I think men kind of start, you know, kind of afraid of women.

00:14:31.440 And there are men that that's kind of something they have to overcome to approach women in public

00:14:35.860 or like say hi to them, whatever.

00:14:37.900 that's a skill. But if you ask any of the people that know them, who they are at their core,

00:14:44.920 you know, they're either friendly, the friendly guy in the group, the, you know, there's always

00:14:49.900 the leader in the guy group, because men naturally can have a hierarchy. Women's leader in the friend

00:14:55.400 group is usually the bitch, where men's leader in the friend group is usually the most competent

00:15:00.340 one, or charismatic, I'd say, in general, because men naturally can organize themselves a little

00:15:07.060 better. Where women, it's like, who can get away with the worst behavior? We're going to put her

00:15:11.320 on top. But neither here nor there. I think people's core is pretty much the same from the

00:15:24.060 time that you're a young age. And the amount of time it would take, like I'll give you, I'll use

00:15:31.700 me as an example because it's just easier and i'll use someone else in a second i've always been a

00:15:37.320 friendly talkative person i've always you know i could always talk someone's ear off i've always

00:15:42.460 i've always been the smile you know when i was in college i don't think most people knew i was

00:15:47.200 conservative but i was always the type like i don't think it would surprise people that i'm a

00:15:52.180 youtuber now like i used to rollerblade on campus with my dog and like a tie-dye shirt i'd have cat

00:15:57.720 shirts so I think people might have thought I was a hippie do you know what I because of the way I

00:16:03.100 used to be big into the cat shirts actually but if you talk to me my core you know was an outgoing

00:16:11.300 person and the amount of time it would take me to be introverted I'd rather just kill myself like

00:16:16.460 it would just I'd like the the amount that I would have to fight to be something I'm not and you know

00:16:24.060 and i think that's like a lesson you have to go through in life if you're a polite person being a

00:16:30.360 bitch is just not going to come to you you probably can't do it you can learn skills to maybe that

00:16:36.720 people don't take advantage of you as much but if you're a bitch you might as well be a bitch for a

00:16:42.320 good cause i saw this crazy woman on twitter and this was a woman obviously addicted to social

00:16:48.360 media obviously a tradcon ethot and um to the point where there was the she put like a selfie

00:16:57.320 next to the parks shooting right and that's a disgusting thing to do i'm a light-hearted

00:17:03.100 person so i'm saying this probably in the wrong tone but you know when she's doing this

00:17:11.480 i'm thinking this woman's crazy but this same crazy woman got like 400 liberals fired

00:17:17.460 and I'm thinking that's a woman using her crazy for good at least but the amount of time it would

00:17:23.660 take her to undo the crazy impossible I mean some guy would have to wrestle it out of her

00:17:29.420 good luck she'll do that to you to be fair she will do that to you when you guys break up whoever's

00:17:34.480 dating her so you know I'd you know be I'd be warned but and so that's really what I was really

00:17:44.140 thinking of it. I was wondering if you guys had the same experience, if you've seen people change

00:17:49.220 or if they generally say the same. I've seen people maybe have slight ideological changes.

00:17:55.860 I've seen at times maybe certain environments change people, but, and I've heard people say

00:18:03.480 the military changes people. Now, I don't know, I need you guys to call in. I know there's a lot

00:18:09.140 military people that watch this show um and i cannot i've never been in the military so i cannot

00:18:15.380 speak to that and i know this comparison i'm about to make is a terrible comparison to the military

00:18:22.340 this is not the same this is not the same i'm gonna but this is the only comparison i have

00:18:28.740 based on what i've seen okay so please don't roast me but this is so when i did volleyball

00:18:36.100 this is not the same but we did have volleyball like we did have very extreme workouts in

00:18:44.520 volleyball now for women I will say but we had like three minute I actually picked my school

00:18:52.720 because I've just naturally I'm a very passionate person and I've realized in life this at times

00:19:00.060 can be my greatest strength and my greatest weakness um but I really wanted a volleyball

00:19:05.980 school that was going to push me and I actually picked the school I did because they didn't

00:19:11.560 follow NCAA guidelines I think they got in trouble later but I wanted to be in the gym more because

00:19:17.960 I was like this isn't enough I get like two hours a day this bullshit women whine and then they we

00:19:22.560 they limit your gym time they say you can't be in the gym longer and these coaches they did not care

00:19:28.180 they did not so if you wanted to be anyways so hang on it's all right so we would have like 50

00:19:39.460 burpees i think we had to do in like a certain amount of time i think it was like two minutes

00:19:44.240 or something you to do 50 burpees you had to do the beep test over a certain number

00:19:50.200 you had to do an 800 and there were women that worked harder than i would say they normally

00:19:56.760 did but I would still say if you looked at the group of women you could pick out the three women

00:20:04.240 that usually worked the hardest and the three women that usually like there is this one girl

00:20:08.800 and I knew she was going to be a balloon I knew she was going to be fat because we would have to

00:20:12.940 do these group workouts and oh my gosh oh my gosh she would always like we would have to do I think

00:20:20.360 it was 50 burpees in four minute I would have to look at the book I don't remember but there is

00:20:25.960 one way you did the burpees where it was like a hundred and it was like a group of six or three

00:20:31.180 or i don't know but i all i remember is we kept having to restart this challenge because of this

00:20:37.700 young woman who was just very lazy i think that's actually the worst trait you can have in the wife

00:20:43.320 is a lazy woman i know hard working is more of something women select for but when i look at my

00:20:49.040 brother's girlfriends my I just can't stand lazy like women to be honest so they've all done pretty

00:20:56.640 well with that though and got girls they've chose anyways so this girl for a few years I would say

00:21:05.500 she did complete the workout she maybe got a little bit better but after college she blew up

00:21:11.000 like a balloon like it was like and I knew she would because her personality at its core was

00:21:17.760 lazy when someone was screaming at her maybe she could be a little bit less lazy but you know

00:21:22.940 that's just who she was and I've never seen people's core change over time sorry not really

00:21:31.760 and there are some traits that are so apprehensible that I get you have to work on them

00:21:40.360 you know and I would argue lazy is one of them but what I was thinking about in this

00:21:47.340 in-depth thing is how in general it's kind of a waste of time to try to be something you're not

00:21:55.120 because in general you kind of are who you are and I think from a young age like my mom told me

00:22:03.020 she said when you were four years old you were singing so from the time I was four years old I

00:22:10.020 was always singing a song I was always taught and in contrast one of my other siblings I'm one of

00:22:15.800 10. So I think I've had the privilege of seeing how personality traits are very much, I think,

00:22:22.840 genetic, a lot of it. Because I actually have a unique story about this. So when I was younger,

00:22:30.200 I grew up, I was one of six kids. So my original family, I was the second of six. I was the oldest

00:22:35.960 girl. Between two boys. So if you guys are wondering why I can think like this, thank my

00:22:40.200 brothers um but we ended up adopting three siblings so we had three siblings that we like

00:22:47.280 adopted they were like teenagers so they weren't like originally in our family like one kid was

00:22:54.440 homeless on my brother's football team another kid was like they were just kids in bad situations

00:23:00.200 my parents weren't like looking to adopt I mean we're glad we did but they were like 15 when we

00:23:04.880 got him but anyways when I'm 22 my parents sat us down and I found out I had a brother that grew up

00:23:11.720 actually with a different family because my parents got pregnant like pretty young and they

00:23:17.240 didn't really know if they were going to be together and so they ended up giving this kid

00:23:20.880 up for adoption I had a grown brother and I think I was 22 when I found out he was like 30 something

00:23:26.260 so he was an adult right and we end up meeting him and this guy or my brother

00:23:32.440 at the time he was just like a stranger to me right I couldn't believe how similar he was to

00:23:40.140 my family before that I thought that it was a nurture over nature because I would look at these

00:23:45.840 single mother stats right and I would look at them and I would just say oh my gosh you know

00:23:52.160 kids in these environments are cuckoo it's it's but I met my brother and my brother um he walked

00:24:00.620 like my dad he you know he studied economics in school which is what I studied he grew up in the

00:24:07.760 middle of nowhere I don't want to say too many details but he grew up in the middle of nowhere

00:24:11.820 his parents never left his hometown and he traveled the world on a boat which is my family

00:24:19.680 I grew up traveling the world. I was sent off to Japan when I was 12 by myself. When I was 10,

00:24:26.200 my mom sent me off to Germany. I met somebody they knew there, but some would look at that

00:24:32.140 as a lot for a 10-year-old, but it's not really a big deal. My family, I don't know, they just,

00:24:38.140 she was like, you want to go to Germany? I'm like, hell yeah, I do. And I'm like 10. And they're

00:24:41.940 like, all right, we'll see you. And then I saw one of my old nannies at the time.

00:24:45.560 but this got me thinking that really trying to be something you're not is a waste of time

00:24:53.420 learning skills is not approaching women that's a skill I have seen men go from being shyer to like

00:25:01.060 being able to I would say it's the skill of displaying your personality um maybe learning

00:25:08.340 social skills because we're all autistic I mean let's be honest if you're under 30

00:25:13.440 you got some level of not real autism but like technology induced autism and and if you if you

00:25:22.400 if you're gonna pretend you don't have it i don't need you to gaslight me today you know

00:25:27.540 you know to some extent because to exist we really have needed technology i don't know i always

00:25:36.860 wonder how if my brain would start changing to understand directions if i didn't have gps but

00:25:42.360 my whole life i mean what am i gonna learn directions when i could just plug it into my gps

00:25:48.200 why would i do that it's a waste of time and this is also matches up with what my dad has said to

00:25:55.480 me and i'm gonna tell you about what i think is my worst traits one of my worst ones you know

00:26:01.080 i've always i've just never been an organized person and i think you guys feel it through the

00:26:07.000 camera I start the show late I think I've changed the time like three times

00:26:11.500 this year and I really wish I wasn't like that and I think you know somebody

00:26:18.120 that's really organized what they tend to do is they tend to judge the

00:26:23.480 disorganized for being how we are and I think I you know I just did it in this

00:26:28.560 stream right I judged lazy women for being lazy right but the thing is most

00:26:34.340 people probably hate their negative traits more than you do like most most

00:26:39.920 people know what their negative traits are to some extent at least by the time

00:26:44.900 they're 30 maybe not young maybe not young women actually they're pretty

00:26:48.560 delusional but no do you know what I have a theory on that different show but

00:26:56.000 if I'm if I'm hearing from Brian Johnson this guy is saying at his 30-year

00:27:01.180 reunion, people still have the same personality traits. It seems like a waste of time to some

00:27:08.400 extent. Bad habits, you know, you can work to fix. Oh, but back to what my dad was saying. I'm a

00:27:14.820 woman. It's like, I keep thinking of all this. My dad was telling me, he said, and I remember

00:27:21.700 telling him how frustrated I was. I was like, dad, I am just so disorganized. I hate that I forget

00:27:26.520 things everywhere. I hate that I do. I forget things. I lose. Do you know how many credit

00:27:33.340 cards I've been through this? And do you know what? The worst part is they don't get stolen.

00:27:38.360 I lose them somewhere in my house and I find them later. I'm not saying, look it, I'm not saying

00:27:44.100 that couldn't happen to me that, you know, I don't want to jinx it in case that does, but so far in

00:27:49.500 my life that getting it stolen hasn't been a problem. Me losing it somewhere in my house,

00:27:54.060 that's been a problem and he just said look you got to focus on what you're good at you're hard

00:27:59.060 working you're passionate about things um and he listed you know some of my more positive traits

00:28:05.600 and he said look at the amount of time it's going to take you to fix your net it's going to take you

00:28:09.700 too long you might as well focus on what you're good at and i thought about it and i'm like what

00:28:14.580 if trump tried to be like a peacemaker i know i know people kind of argue that he somewhat is in

00:28:20.560 the position he is. But when you talk to him, I mean, he's loud, he's boisterous, he's this,

00:28:25.080 he's that. Imagine if he tried to be something he wasn't. It would just never work. He would

00:28:29.200 just be a bad version of that. And again, I've learned a lot of lessons from my dad,

00:28:37.680 and I think he's right. I'm going to say 80% of the time, 85, 90, I'll say 90.

00:28:43.480 um but i don't think people change as much as you think i think at times they learn skills that help

00:28:54.420 them or move they learn to better hide their negative traits or they move into environments

00:29:01.360 that help them thrive like i'll give you an example imagine if i tried to be an accountant

00:29:06.700 do you know what i mean that would be terrible for everybody involved

00:29:09.900 that would be terrible for everybody I remember when I found this job I just thought finally I

00:29:17.840 can I can talk into a microphone I could talk for two hours straight and people have to listen

00:29:22.620 they don't have to you guys opt in that's why I like this because you you opt in and and I always

00:29:29.780 I just felt like okay this was finally an environment I could be good at something

00:29:34.360 And I felt the same way in sports when I played volleyball

00:29:37.900 because I felt like in school I just couldn't always see the pragmatism

00:29:44.560 in what I was learning.

00:29:46.140 But if they taught me, like, a blocking technique

00:29:48.760 and I started blocking better, you know, it would just, the turnover,

00:29:53.760 like, I would understand it better.

00:29:56.900 So anyways, my point is this.

00:30:00.760 I don't think people change as much as you think.

00:30:05.020 I think most people hate their negative personality traits as much as you do.

00:30:10.080 And I think women miss this a lot in marriage and relationships.

00:30:13.480 I think women, we have a tendency to spend a lot of time nagging and bitching about a man's negative personality traits

00:30:24.360 when generally he knows and he doesn't like it just as much.

00:30:27.460 women are really hateful so I don't know maybe she hates it more but you get the idea

00:30:32.580 um and women do it to each other too um I mean women I could talk about the relentless you know

00:30:41.800 it's like the woman that made the two-hour video and how I could be more attractive I'm like don't

00:30:46.280 I wish I was do you know what I mean and I'm not you know I'm not saying I'm ugly either I'm not

00:30:51.440 trying to but you guys see what I mean I'm like you don't think I you know wish that I you know

00:30:57.260 that I was like a Megan Fox level.

00:31:00.640 I mean, that would be not, do you know what I mean?

00:31:03.180 Anyways, so, but I think in general,

00:31:07.300 people's core stays the same.

00:31:09.960 They might change environments.

00:31:12.000 They might change ideological positions.

00:31:14.480 But, you know, the people that are debating

00:31:16.860 about conservative and liberal,

00:31:19.880 they might change teams,

00:31:22.740 but they're the same type of person in the room.

00:31:25.360 They're the type of person to debate.

00:31:28.240 Now, I was trying to think of where else I saw this.

00:31:32.640 Oh, Nala.

00:31:33.560 I will have to add Nala into this monologue.

00:31:37.040 That's why these ex-corn stars are so dangerous.

00:31:42.400 It's because they're really predatory and vicious.

00:31:45.240 They've just changed teams.

00:31:46.560 Instead of getting the OF simps, they've moved to the church simps.

00:31:51.260 A lot of you guys step right up.

00:31:53.520 I mean, I get more black-pilled every year.

00:31:55.440 So this is a call-in show, and remember, this is an actual safe space.

00:32:01.300 So this, today, there are different shows where we'll have different ways of doing things,

00:32:06.720 but today, it's really not meant, I'm not going to judge you either way, I just want

00:32:12.500 to see what you've seen.

00:32:14.660 Have you seen people have radical personality changes?

00:32:19.960 At this point in my life, I just don't think I have.

00:32:24.000 Not from the people that really know the person.

00:32:27.280 I will say maybe some life events instill humility in somebody that never had humility.

00:32:34.040 You know, you ever see, like, a woman after she gets, like, pumped and dumped or something?

00:32:38.640 But then she gets more, you know, then she gets more bitchy after because she gets bitter and then it gets worse.

00:32:44.300 So never mind.

00:32:45.620 Never mind.

00:32:46.700 So we're going to put the link.

00:32:48.140 Can you put the link in the chat?

00:32:50.280 Then we'll do the Zoom.

00:32:53.280 um let me so I'm just curious what you guys have seen in terms of personality traits

00:33:12.840 we're gonna

00:33:13.440 uh well i think i emailed it to myself um yeah this is from 41 minutes ago

00:33:29.440 because i don't have signal on this computer

00:33:34.480 all right we got doug mpa

00:33:36.480 welcome sorry i unmuted myself forgetting um welcome to the show doug mpa hey how's it going

00:33:52.720 so what are your thoughts on the topic have you what do you think do you think people change

00:34:01.360 over time or do you think they mostly stay the same they mostly stay the same um if you guys

00:34:07.460 really think about it the douchebags you went to at high school are still douchebags um i knew this

00:34:14.820 kid one time and he he was an asshole in high school and then i was out and about in community

00:34:21.840 college and then i saw him and he was in sweatpants and like a sweatshirt and he was

00:34:28.540 walking all funny and he had like a medical aid with him we were at the movie he was at the movie

00:34:34.540 theater because i was about to go see a movie and i'm like hey man like are you okay he's like yeah

00:34:38.940 you know i ended up having cancer and then i was allergic to some of the cancer treatments so i had

00:34:45.100 like a minor stroke and i had to learn to walk again and i almost died and i'm like oh my god

00:34:50.220 wow like you know this must have been a life-changing experience i mean are you okay he's

00:34:55.180 like yeah i'm okay whatever i was like all right so um a new retail store opened up in my hometown

00:35:03.660 and i applied this this is when i was like in my early 20s i applied there and i started working

00:35:08.620 there and this kid started working there so we started working together and he was still the

00:35:15.420 same that he was in high school and at this place that we worked at and he went through like a

00:35:23.740 life-changing he had a stroke he had to learn how to walk again he almost died and it's like so

00:35:29.180 those stories where someone has a life um a life-changing experience and change their behavior

00:35:34.540 that doesn't happen guys no no way new i've never seen that happen where someone goes to do something

00:35:41.100 well i'm asking so i i'm trying to think of if anybody

00:35:46.380 i mean

00:35:49.420 i've seen maybe i think people could change maybe like 10 15 but yeah i did have another story

00:36:01.500 god um an undergrad i worked at a a home improvement store and this guy he was retired he

00:36:08.540 he was a vietnam vet and i used to always be out in the garden i used to like it out there

00:36:15.880 because people would just leave you alone and this guy always needed stuff that had to be brought

00:36:20.900 down with a forklift and so he'd be sitting there i got to know him because uh in the evening time

00:36:27.840 the garden is the last place anyone wants to be so he'd always be waiting for someone to come for

00:36:31.580 a forklift and i kept apologizing like sir i'm so sorry you have to wait so one day he's like son

00:36:36.300 why do you always apologize i have nothing else to do except be out here and wait for my bricks

00:36:41.240 did he brought down he said son when i was young i was a hothead i used to get in fights all the

00:36:46.020 time this and that whatever then i did two tours in vietnam and that really chilled me out he's

00:36:54.080 like you know after that he's like i haven't thought of a time i haven't got upset because

00:36:58.000 because i survived two tours in vietnam so he's one of the few people where he told me his story

00:37:03.480 where he did have a life change event but in general people don't change in fact guys um

00:37:10.920 if you most of the time if a man leaves a woman it's because you see where the ship is floating

00:37:19.220 with that woman you know where she's going to end up and you got to jump off the ship

00:37:24.260 before she takes you with her like most of the women that you know that are going to be baby

00:37:30.960 mamas are going to be baby mamas most of the women that you think are going to be whores are

00:37:35.460 going to be whores you just have to choose early on if you want to deal with that or not

00:37:39.560 what do you think about that pearly no i totally agree with you i was just thinking back

00:37:45.620 i cannot think of any but i'm i'm only you know i'm under 30 i'm gonna i'm gonna hold on to that

00:37:53.540 as long as I can every day um but so I don't know I could change my mind in 10 years as a woman I do

00:38:05.960 reserve the right to change my mind at any time so yeah but I cannot think of anybody that I like

00:38:15.220 went to school with or I knew from childhood that is that different or had like like most of the

00:38:22.900 girls i knew that were pretty lazy got fat and i saw that coming there are there are ways to take

00:38:32.260 your negative characteristics and they could turn it into a positive thing so my sister is everything

00:38:38.920 that we talk about she's in her late 40s never had a serious relationship and she's never going

00:38:44.520 to right so when she um but she's one of the most selfish people i've ever met

00:38:51.320 and so she'll date these pookies and nug nugs but you don't ever have to worry about them getting

00:39:00.100 money or or anything out of her because her family can't get anything out no one can get

00:39:05.200 you have to you have to pry money from her cold dead fingers before you get money from her

00:39:13.060 understand what i'm saying yeah so she's she's actually really good with money and she has a

00:39:19.760 lot of things she's one of those women where she spends frivolously but she's also like the most

00:39:25.040 selfish person i've met but it's paid off because she has a lot of stuff you know she's she plans

00:39:29.920 financially well and she keeps all the money to herself you know imagine a successful woman

00:39:34.500 no guys imagine you you're a man who has a mastery and six figures but you've never spent money on a

00:39:43.180 woman ever in your life that's my sister what are traits that you would say you have not seen change

00:39:52.140 and will not change so i'm gonna i'm gonna start i have never seen a lazy person stop being lazy

00:39:59.800 i've never seen it i've never seen an outgoing person or shy person

00:40:09.760 i've never seen somebody instead of outgoing i'll say not talkative because someone can be shy but

00:40:18.740 still talkative once you get to know them but i've never seen like a not talkative person like

00:40:24.480 magically become talkative or outgoing person become shy yeah what are what are other traits

00:40:31.520 you've seen so probably selfish that doesn't change yeah selfish i've never seen a petty

00:40:37.160 person not be petty you're petty right i'm one of those i live that petty life let's go

00:40:46.740 hey um bitchy um yeah yeah people that complain oh um people that are late oh yeah people that

00:40:58.340 are late they'll never not be late ever yeah ever and it's i think one of the problems in life is

00:41:04.560 people always project how you want someone to be and i think the happiest people can just accept

00:41:11.120 and adapt you know what i mean like um if women are late then show up to the date 30 minutes late

00:41:18.480 because you're gonna go crazy you're gonna go crazy expecting them to be on time you might as

00:41:23.020 well be late yeah yeah go ahead there's some other ones oh um uh people that oh oh people

00:41:32.780 with integrity if you don't have integrity but by the time you're you're in your your mid-20s

00:41:39.420 you're just not going to have it you know as in like saying what you doing what you say yeah having

00:41:47.340 follow through a lot of people they just won't have it oh and then people so there's normally

00:41:52.220 two kinds in the corporate world in in public service there's two kinds of people there are

00:41:58.860 people whose skills and abilities make them important by their work ethic and their work

00:42:03.740 output and then there are people who who try to schmooze and lie and and and uh latch on to other

00:42:11.500 people's work to become important so men and women huh yeah pretty much so if a person is the type

00:42:22.700 of person that tries to lie cheat and steal their way to the top they're never going to change that

00:42:27.740 They're always going to be trying to find some kind of hustle.

00:42:30.400 They're always going to try to latch onto your dream and milk you for money.

00:42:35.680 They start doing that early on, and they never stop doing it.

00:42:42.340 Those are good.

00:42:43.320 Do you have any more?

00:42:44.220 I'm going to milk you for these because these are good.

00:42:48.160 That's another one.

00:42:51.260 Have you hired people at work?

00:42:54.900 Yeah, I have.

00:42:55.320 okay it sounds like you've done hiring go ahead yeah and you know i've managed people too um oh um

00:43:04.600 a codependent people okay uh people so we all have that those people they're always

00:43:13.320 in a relationship like always oh like i know a guy literally he's been in a relationship with

00:43:21.320 one woman or another or his wife since we were 17 years old and he's he's my age and he's married

00:43:29.880 now but he was never not in a relationship must be nice um are there are there any other ones

00:43:40.200 uh oh people that can't drive people that drive for i'm a bad driver that's right

00:43:48.600 and no you're not you're actually a really good driver we talking about really you did me around

00:43:54.620 you didn't back into any mailboxes you okay curb so what are you talking about okay i'm not terrible

00:44:00.820 but here's my problem i i can zone out and that's usually when shit hits the fan

00:44:07.900 uh what else um i already said integrity i would say people that um

00:44:18.140 uh oh yeah um so there's this book that i always plug called messy it's it's called uh it's written

00:44:31.720 by tim harper it's called messy how to be creative and resilient in a tidy-minded world so guys okay

00:44:38.720 you don't want to be a dirty person where your house it smells really bad whatever but they're

00:44:44.760 just messy people like i'm one of those there are people where you have clean clothes they just never

00:44:51.080 make it on the hanger understand i'm saying or um you clean your dishes but you pull them out

00:44:58.520 of the dishwasher to use them and if you're not a super clean and tidy person it's not a bad thing

00:45:07.000 because you that energy that super tidy clean people use for that you use towards other things

00:45:14.360 as in like creative endeavors or or stuff like that so don't feel bad if you're a messy person

00:45:21.000 you're using that energy for other aspects of your life besides cleanliness yeah and i think

00:45:27.340 that's from a young age yeah i do think part of it's a skill issue like um because like a lot of

00:45:35.760 people didn't grow up with moms teaching them how to do that stuff but i i do think messy and like

00:45:40.660 clean from a young age. Yeah, so I think, once again, I think everyone should have cleanliness,

00:45:49.520 but, you know, if you have stuff going on, I've worked two jobs most of my life, even

00:45:53.940 when I was in undergrad school, and I was pursuing so many things, I just didn't have time to be

00:45:59.400 clean and tidy, and so, yeah, most of the time, if you're a messy person, just, you know, just

00:46:05.600 accept it, and try to figure out a way around it. Yeah, like, it's easier to hire a maid,

00:46:10.660 then it like or get like a cleaning service then try to change your whole personality

00:46:15.280 100 yeah 100 oh uh what about this people that read books okay do you know what

00:46:23.800 i used to be a person that read like a ton like when i was a kid i was like the top ar person

00:46:31.680 and do you know what stopped it you know when i stopped reading so much i got a freaking smartphone

00:46:36.920 and then i could listen to the podcast i'm like this is way better why did i read ever

00:46:44.800 i swear i used to be like the top ar point or whatever in my class and then yeah

00:46:53.340 yeah yeah although the the books i do read i still get physical books because i like the smell of the

00:47:02.460 pages and you know i like holding the book in my hand when i read i've i sit in front of a computer

00:47:08.060 all day you know working for this channel and working my day job i don't want to read a book

00:47:12.960 on an ipad too you know no way what someone put in the chat what do you think about um

00:47:18.260 being a morning person or a night owl do you think that you can change that

00:47:23.260 okay I have done both I have um okay I'll just speak from my experience I can't I don't think

00:47:34.180 I've observed enough people I have always been a night owl obviously um and I can get to the point

00:47:43.060 where I can get up at like eight o'clock or maybe 7 30 but if I have to get up before that I can't

00:47:49.900 do it i did 5 a.m for like six months and i wanted to die the whole time i wanted to it was like i

00:47:56.800 felt awful so i don't know i don't know if i can get to like 7 30 or 8 easily like getting up is

00:48:05.600 that's that's not a morning person though right that's like normal yeah that's normal morning

00:48:11.000 people are those um you ever have a job where you have to be there at six and like oh hell no

00:48:18.380 oh hell no i'd rather kill myself no i remember you know i worked at a home improvement store

00:48:25.200 and the old guy the older guys were like oh yeah it's six o'clock you know but by six o'clock

00:48:29.760 half the day is gone already i'm like you better get out of my face no okay i disagree because

00:48:35.900 their day just ends sooner you still no okay like because i did i used to wake up at 5 a.m

00:48:44.240 for this like crossfit class and i was in my i was in my oh my god yeah i used to do a 5 a.m

00:48:50.240 crossfit class when i worked a sales job so i would go before work and i would think oh well

00:48:55.820 now i have all this now i'll have all this time after work but you start going to events and

00:49:02.120 you're yawning do you know what i'm like because if you want to sleep uh seven hours if you get

00:49:08.020 up at five that means you're in bed by 10 so if you go to an event and that means sleeping by 10

00:49:14.480 okay so that means in bed by like 9 or 8 30 so if you go to an event like which I would say normal

00:49:22.100 events volleyball leagues would be like 7 to 9 I mean you're yawning at not or like even in your

00:49:28.720 20s you might go out from like 10 10 p.m to like 1 or 2 in the morning I remember I just I would

00:49:35.600 try to go be social or go to something and i would just be yawning you know and i just i couldn't yeah

00:49:41.280 yeah i knew a girl and uh she she bought a house that was way too big and she was um she had

00:49:52.560 roommates but then they all moved out so she's struggling to make her rent so she had her day

00:49:58.800 job but she was able to swing working a retail this is during the cough cough she's able to swing

00:50:05.600 because she was remote so she's able to swing working two retail jobs during the time that she

00:50:13.920 was supposed to be working her day job so she she would get up at six in the morning and work at an

00:50:20.680 amazon warehouse from six to eleven and then get what was done supposed to be done on her day job

00:50:27.100 from like eleven to three and then go to another repo another retail place from three to seven

00:50:32.100 to make her bills right so one time her friends were like hey girl you you should come out with

00:50:38.120 us uh you haven't been out in a while it's been a while she's like well i can't because you know

00:50:43.020 i have to i have to work to pay my bills come on girl so they went to this comedy club and so she

00:50:49.480 left the retail place and went to this comedy club and then they said okay we're gonna go somewhere

00:50:55.160 she had a couple of drinks there and they were gonna go to this like bar or whatever afterwards

00:50:59.600 and she was driving her jeep and she was waiting in the left turn lane

00:51:06.260 at a red light and she fell asleep behind the wheel

00:51:10.060 and so people called the police woo right and she was at the comedy club and she had

00:51:16.700 a couple of drinks so guess what happened she blew a dui oh no yeah all because she decided to go out

00:51:26.940 So she got up at 5 o'clock in the morning to go to the Amazon warehouse at 6, worked till 7, and then tried to go out, ended up getting a DUI because she fell asleep behind the wheel because she was up too late.

00:51:42.460 Yeah.

00:51:44.860 As a night owl, I can get up to, like, I think 7 a.m.

00:51:49.580 If I can really stay off by phone, I think 7 is the earliest I could get to.

00:51:54.380 But 5?

00:51:55.400 Oh, hell no.

00:51:56.040 i'd rather die are you a nap person pearly nope i can't you don't take naps nope oh man i gotta

00:52:04.740 have a nap during the day like 30 to 45 minutes or i get upset only if i got drunk the night before

00:52:12.300 then i might then i might need a nap but just normally no um all right let's let's see what

00:52:17.320 the people think um guys so what i want you to do is please make sure your youtube is not playing

00:52:23.980 in the background uh make sure your mic is on you don't have to be on camera but it would be nice

00:52:30.900 to see some of your faces so if you want to be on camera it's cool um if if you guys don't um

00:52:37.660 get your technology working i'm gonna have to boot you you just gotta figure it out um

00:52:43.280 yeah go ahead just so fast guys make sure to like the video subscribe to the channel if you haven't

00:52:48.720 already hit that join button you can get a membership and the price of a membership is

00:52:54.180 less than a cup of coffee each month go to the audacity network.com and sign up for a membership

00:52:59.060 we're trying to regrow the community over there it's always good to see the regulars the linea

00:53:04.380 jeffrey page yakoff js so thank you for being in the audacity chat if you sign up for the audacity

00:53:09.920 chat website you put pearl read on your post in the audacity chat pearl will do her best to read

00:53:15.820 so come on over there and thanks for all the youtube regulars we it's good to see you there

00:53:21.080 too go ahead pearly yeah and guys by the way i really love giving people good faith interviews

00:53:26.240 and i can bring on some pretty interesting characters but i gotta get enough people on

00:53:31.400 the website where i'm employed if i do that and something goes south with youtube um you know

00:53:37.820 we've talked about having nick f on and if we get enough people on the website i might do it

00:53:42.120 um the other thing what i was gonna say um also it helps fund the documentary so if you want to

00:53:49.980 donate feel free um okay so if you come on we're asking have you seen people change over time

00:53:56.800 if so what traits did you see change we're gonna start with strat

00:54:01.500 strat how's it going hello all right yeah i can hear you so what are your thoughts on the topic

00:54:10.460 do you think people change uh there's a tony robbins quote it goes people only change when

00:54:17.980 the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change and uh that's what i've noticed

00:54:23.000 you have to hit rock bottom before you're willing to change and if someone isn't willing then you

00:54:29.760 should just let them suffer like it's not my job to fix you you know i'm not the keeper of the

00:54:35.060 piece and i'm certainly not going to be captain of uss save a hoe yeah so let's go so are there

00:54:41.620 any instances that you've seen somebody change um if so what traits changed about them uh

00:54:48.820 myself i changed um two years ago i was a hermit terrified of women never left the house

00:54:56.560 and i didn't do salsa dancing but i learned uh waltz and swing and stuff and that really like

00:55:02.960 did the exposure therapy necessary to stop being afraid of girls and, you know, did improv comedy

00:55:08.240 and all that kind of stuff. So do you think like people that knew you would say your whole

00:55:13.640 personality changed or you just, Oh really? Okay. Cause from what I'm saying, like I used to be

00:55:19.660 really. Cause when I talked to shy or guys or guys that I think have done that, like similar to you,

00:55:25.460 it's not really usually their person at like their core personality is the same. They just

00:55:30.380 learn the skills to show it but you would say that's not the case for like you like i'm thinking

00:55:36.480 of somebody i knew from high school it was really quiet then but this guy when he was with his

00:55:41.260 friends he was funny he was you know when he was in more of a relaxed environment but he just didn't

00:55:46.320 know how to showcase that you know to women in an appropriate way uh would you say that was your

00:55:53.000 case or that you really just changed your whole personality i think there was like elements to

00:55:58.200 that where like when i was playing video games in world of warcraft i would get and be more

00:56:02.800 animated but i actually did have to learn like social skills i read what everybody is saying by

00:56:09.380 john navarro the fbi dude to learn body language i read what women want by tucker maxx and all the

00:56:15.940 red pill books and they like tell you step by step autistic style how to be fun how to like

00:56:22.080 uh do a personality that pent women like you know be a little james bond little mystery

00:56:27.520 little pirate to get your little winch going so you can do things to be fun and i just didn't

00:56:33.680 know that i just wasn't aware and like no one ever told me my dad never sat down and told me

00:56:37.940 hey is it be fun you know you tell her this you poke so it's that like that amused mastery that

00:56:43.320 like i'm having fun and this girl she's just a little girl who cares whatever like i'm here to

00:56:46.940 have fun and that element was like a cheat code when you start acting like that and the dancing

00:56:52.740 of course you know that's also one of the biggest cheat codes you can have to become more social

00:56:58.180 wait tables yeah honestly because that's what cracked the code for me my first job waiting

00:57:06.040 tables opened up a whole new world man so i was kevin samuels he used to tell the guys that were

00:57:12.800 engineers and stuff like that get a part-time job waiting tables or become a bartender

00:57:18.160 it'll crack your whole world though says do that too yep that's what happened for me

00:57:22.480 yep so you you went from world of warcraft to the suave gentleman we see in front of us right now

00:57:28.840 good job i was in a musical earlier this year thank you very much so like right after dancing

00:57:34.140 it was improv that improv comedy was in on stage doing improv then learn to sing ben did a musical

00:57:39.720 right after that what okay so what traits do you think cannot be changed and what traits do you

00:57:46.440 think can this could be their observations from yourself or people that you know uh narcissist

00:57:52.440 personality disorder like if someone's diagnosed mentally ill npd or borderline it's it's no go i

00:57:58.040 mean even even therapists will not take borderline patients so yeah if she has like you can you can

00:58:04.360 tell there's like tests you can do to see if someone has borderline if she has borderline guys

00:58:08.200 run there's no it's she's just a huge liability look at johnny depp and amber heard you don't

00:58:13.260 want any fucking part of that shit like run for the hills it's not fixable you're not it's not

00:58:17.460 your job to fix anyone you're not a doctor okay don't be uss save a hoe get out find a better

00:58:23.260 girl don't settle for that so if she's mentally ill that's for any other traits like what about

00:58:29.620 outside of mental illness um if she likes you enough and she's not mentally ill

00:58:36.920 most girls will get on your program but you have to be like celebrity larger than lifestyle or or

00:58:43.140 so so much what she wants that you're like a celebrity don't you sorry go ahead that's what

00:58:49.060 i was just saying like if if you're a celebrity like drake sure girl will do whatever you want

00:58:52.740 but sometimes you can be like a small town hero and still get that celebrity status and she'll

00:58:58.120 adore you it's just you got to be the exact right type that she wants don't you think that's just

00:59:02.440 for a time period because i guess i come at it from like the female like side so we'll see like

00:59:08.080 the friend date the guy and you know her traits maybe change for like a year but everybody knows

00:59:15.100 that like like come on at some point she's gonna stop the act and be who she is yes if it's if the

00:59:23.640 man doesn't understand his role so a good leader will keep her in line such that when her behavior

00:59:30.160 starts acting up he's like look uh as a policy i do not tolerate disrespect and it's a problem for

00:59:34.640 you you can you need to leave and then a lot of girls will be like oh like straighten up you know

00:59:39.760 because they're testing him for his strength and if he shows strong leadership then all that

00:59:44.240 testing will go away and she'll just fall in line and be submissive and that can last a while the

00:59:49.360 problem is her friends those goddamn friends and they're always yeah when he's bare minimum

00:59:54.720 you can do better meanwhile she's like a three or four and i'm over here doing musicals and i'm not

00:59:59.680 good enough for her and so a lot of times even if you do everything right as the guy

01:00:03.120 her friends will still get her ear and ruin it i can add to that by saying if you're a seven

01:00:11.120 uh data four where you know she's a four because you you literally treat her like she's disposable

01:00:18.960 like you know you're you're above her league and if you treat her like she's disposable she'll stay

01:00:26.320 around no no i tested this i tested this there's a website i'm sorry go ahead there's a website

01:00:34.020 called photo feeler and you have random people rate you one to ten right i came back and ate

01:00:38.400 on a good day my ex was a four dude eight and a four and she still thought i wasn't good enough

01:00:43.600 for her i'm just like i don't know these women are just delusional and entitled there's no hope

01:00:47.800 now were you treating her like a four though like treating her great dude i'm a freaking

01:00:51.900 That's your problem. You got to treat her like a four as in, as in she, she needs to not know what each day is going to be like. Like you, if she asks you what's on your mind, just say, I got nothing. And if she asked too many times to tell her to leave, you know what I'm saying?

01:01:09.120 say i wasn't being a simp okay i was being a great leader i was like having fun dates i wasn't

01:01:13.740 texting her all day by the way i was just two to three dates a week light and fun then i don't

01:01:17.460 talk to her and she's wondering all the time and we're going dancing in the stars and we're on the

01:01:22.440 beach and we're going to arcades for you date she's like she's a four like like you don't need

01:01:27.640 her around because that whole mystery thing like what's going to happen each day now the problem

01:01:33.380 is having to keep and maintain that for a long period of time,

01:01:37.960 especially if you're an empathetic person and a nice person,

01:01:42.120 you're going to have to act contrary to your nature.

01:01:44.640 Some guys have a natural where they can treat a woman

01:01:47.100 like she's disposable all the time.

01:01:49.700 But if you're actually a good person, whatever that means,

01:01:54.040 you have to learn how to act contrary to your nature, man.

01:01:57.620 I don't know if it's like treating her like that.

01:01:59.380 A lot of guys get hung up on this point of like,

01:02:01.620 you have to treat her badly.

01:02:02.280 you have to make her insecure you have to make her think that you're out of her league all the

01:02:06.780 time so you can still be a great guy and just make it feel like you don't have her on this pedestal

01:02:13.260 like you're you like her and you enjoy spending time with her but you're kind of like still

01:02:17.400 figuring out if she qualifies for you and you don't have to be an asshole to do that

01:02:21.160 and it's a very it's so hard to be a man oh my god yeah but we don't i'm sorry go ahead

01:02:26.400 go ahead yeah well but the i was just thinking how like doug happy it doesn't even if you do

01:02:33.200 treat her like that it's like at some point you know women just leave it's just kind of what we

01:02:37.980 do yeah i guess i can i will and then that's part of to it if you can't be an asshole just say

01:02:45.980 nothing honestly because i i hate cheating people badly so if i'm with a woman i i just say if they

01:02:56.280 oh what's on your mind what are you up to nothing i got nothing nothing nothing you always say

01:03:02.120 nothing because i'm not doing just instead of treating her like garbage don't tell her any

01:03:06.680 stories does just say i got nothing i really like being an amazing boyfriend and then when she steps

01:03:13.560 out of line just strongly asserting a boundary like as a policy i don't tolerate disrespect

01:03:18.120 crying arguing and if that's a problem for you you need to leave and not say no you don't even

01:03:23.800 ask her you know you can leave no you need to leave because my peace is more important than you

01:03:29.320 ruining my life like you need to leave so i can be alone because i'd rather be alone than you

01:03:33.220 disturbing my peace and having a strong boundary like that is like it's almost feminist friendly

01:03:38.640 because you're asserting a boundary but you're still being like red pill strong alpha male so

01:03:43.840 she still gets the like instinctual desire to fulfill a masculine purpose so what were you

01:03:49.900 like before you um where you said you were just doing world of warcraft and you were like quiet

01:03:55.080 i was a software engineer uh so i worked for 10 years uh cooking software retired bought a home

01:04:02.200 bought two of my dream cars and now i just sing and dance all day oh so so your friend have you

01:04:09.320 noticed any of your friends did they do anything similar or was it just you no i tried they're all

01:04:15.340 sims all my friends are sims walked on and i'm like dude you need to set the boundaries you

01:04:19.920 can't let her talk to you like that thank god one of my best friends finally did dump this girl in

01:04:23.960 like a two she's like obese walking over this guy he's a great singer unshaping everything

01:04:28.720 and he finally because she like insulted her his mom you know i'm like brother you can't let your

01:04:33.940 girlfriend your ugly girlfriend that's all your mom what are you doing after the respect for

01:04:36.960 yourself so it's it's coming around but yeah most dudes are just completely blue pill just

01:04:42.360 simping out it's a tragedy what's your age group what how 35 oh man and they haven't learned by now

01:04:51.520 oh one last question what kind of cars i have a honda's 2000 okay that's a good one what about

01:05:00.300 the other one uh i have a suzuki jixter 600 and a jaguar good man yep a lot of fun thanks for

01:05:09.280 calling in. Call at any time, all right? Sure. Thank you. You can put show panelists on your

01:05:14.560 list of things. Yeah. I don't know if I want that title. I'll see you. Take care. All right.

01:05:24.060 We're literally on a streak, Pearlie, of good callers. What a good call. Wow. Yeah. All right.

01:05:30.140 Let's see. I think this guy called in yesterday. James, thanks for calling in.

01:05:36.360 so we're asking the question do people change over time what has been your experience this

01:05:45.580 can either be yourself or people that you've observed go ahead james james is on mute you

01:05:53.440 have to unmute buddy am i on now you're good now you're good can you hear me i can hear i can hear

01:06:00.840 you so okay i just wanted to make sure it wasn't playing through the computer twice like you know

01:06:06.340 running back yeah um you know i i thought for a long minute on this one i was like damn i know a

01:06:14.800 lot of people that like just like work and stuff there's probably one person and that's it probably

01:06:20.320 one person i could think of and i was in college and i met this kid and this kid would get drunk

01:06:27.340 like blackout drunk like all the time like like obliterated right and i remember just saying one

01:06:32.540 day like dude you know if you didn't get drunk you'd probably actually do something with your

01:06:36.700 life and like he continued to get drunk for like a year to two years but then i know where one day

01:06:42.620 he stops drinking and then i'm like okay so like six years go by he's got like 30 40 airbnbs living

01:06:50.620 in miami dude's rich now and i'm like i think he stopped drinking and he told me he was sober i

01:06:56.040 contacted him like maybe four months ago because i saw him on tiktok and i was like he's like yeah

01:07:01.520 i stopped drinking like three years ago completely and i was like damn bro but that's the only time

01:07:07.720 i've ever seen someone change never other than that i think that's not do you think that's almost

01:07:13.340 like um how do i put it he probably still has the addictive personality type but he just stopped

01:07:20.540 like doing something would you agree with that or do you think like his personality changed

01:07:25.380 i think what it is is that because i see this a lot with people because it's like i'll coach

01:07:30.620 some people just on like business and consulting and some people it's like you could be addicted

01:07:35.780 to something like me personally i used to be addicted to working out like i i had to work

01:07:40.980 out like three four five hours a day right but then when it never became a part of me playing

01:07:46.880 like pro hockey anymore i was like well i don't have to do this so now i smoke like six hours a

01:07:52.040 day instead of going to the gym so people usually just replace it with something else if they're

01:07:56.460 addicted to something i think he just replaced it with making money like and then he was like

01:08:00.840 i'm just not going to go back to drink it so i don't think people especially if they have

01:08:05.860 addictive tendencies they're going to keep those throughout life so like and the thing you said

01:08:10.080 about adaptability earlier those are the happiest people but by by far could you tell me more about

01:08:18.840 what you mean by that uh which the adaptability yeah adaptive sorry i'm trying to remember what

01:08:25.700 i said i'll talk for an hour forget what i said so god oh yeah no it's not a problem so my father

01:08:33.800 is very adaptable like i i see it all the time because he preaches it like he owns like three

01:08:38.780 four businesses he's had them for 20 years never had to worry about money right or anything even

01:08:43.880 with his new wife right so he's just always been able to shift and pivot even when things are bad

01:08:50.960 like i remember one time he's like yeah i lost one of the restaurants the corporate they want

01:08:54.560 to take it away so we're sitting there for like a month figuring this out and he's not freaking out

01:08:58.940 he's like i already got something else figured out i'm like what are you gonna do i'm like he's

01:09:02.300 like oh i'm gonna sell two of the cards i have and just be okay with that for the rest of the year

01:09:07.100 and i was like all right we come back to him like two months later and they tell him oh we're not

01:09:10.640 gonna take the store and i'm like and i think it's just the mindset of being always ready for

01:09:17.100 anything and then just you know going with it sometimes i think that's what is he not gives

01:09:22.960 people that cheat is he not emotional because i see that with my dad where my dad every time i'm

01:09:30.140 more of an emotional person so if something's going bad i get very frustrated and um but my

01:09:35.880 dad he's very calm and so whenever you know like we almost lost our house at one point because he

01:09:41.620 made like a bad real estate investment and through it all he was very he was kind of the same thing

01:09:46.760 where we were going to lose like a lot but he was so calm because he's always he always would tell

01:09:52.200 me to just focus on the solution like you cannot think about the problem it doesn't get you anywhere

01:09:57.040 just think of a solution think of a solution and i'd say he's just a calm did he bounce oh he left

01:10:03.840 he dropped i think he dropped but i was gonna ask yeah he dropped i was gonna ask him i think that's

01:10:09.520 like people that aren't as emotional do better with that oh go ahead james oh no he's still

01:10:14.900 there now i see he's back oh yeah i think it cut me out for a minute my computer like shut down

01:10:19.940 real quick and came back on yeah that's okay did you hear what i said or no oh yeah i heard the

01:10:26.960 emotional part versus non-emotional yeah i agree with that too because i'm i can be very emotional

01:10:31.900 in things but i've learned how to like completely channel that at this point but yeah he's like not

01:10:38.320 emotional at all like it almost creeps me out like how non-emotional like like as a like i looked at

01:10:44.680 him as a father figure when i was a kid being like this dude is like not emotional at all like it's

01:10:49.200 kind of funny right and i'd be like it's probably a good thing right but for certain things it's

01:10:55.980 kind of like they they don't have any empathy towards certain things and then it's like yo

01:11:00.640 you see how that adaptability works like that because you kind of have to be you can't be too

01:11:06.140 attached to anything or certain outcome and i've kind of had to learn that and i've learned a lot

01:11:11.240 helps so much because then you're like oh no matter what happens you'll be successful at

01:11:16.620 something like I remember I lost my job I was making really good money like four years ago

01:11:20.440 I lost it going into COVID and I was freaking out I was like oh my god I don't you know and I had a

01:11:26.800 good amount of money in the bank and I was like you know I was freaking out now I don't even have

01:11:31.940 half of that money now and I'm starting a new business I don't even have a quarter of that

01:11:35.560 money now and I'm starting a new business venture and I'm not even worried in the slightest so I

01:11:40.640 think the adaptability thing it it helps but you lose a lot of like emotional context for things

01:11:46.680 sometimes because you're not paying attention to it yeah yeah I agree um do you have any other

01:11:53.920 thoughts on the topic that you wanted to say before we go to the next caller whoa um the first

01:12:00.620 guy was saying something about simps and like yeah I see it so much with with this generation of men

01:12:06.000 And I think it's because like, they've been force fed these narratives that, you know, the feminist movement has like, portrayed on to men over the last, I'd say hardcore last like 10 years. And I think that's the problem, because they're like, Oh, you have to be accepting of this, you have to be accepting of that.

01:12:21.240 well what if we don't want to be accepting of it because we don't like it because we don't

01:12:26.500 need it in our lives and i think that's a perspective that people haven't really taken

01:12:30.400 i'm not saying be militant about it but i'm saying if you don't like it and you don't accept it don't

01:12:34.500 put yourself around it just like i see some of these guys dating some of these girls now and

01:12:39.500 they're just problematic they're so problematic and i'm like dude why are you wasting your time

01:12:44.760 you can literally be out here at the club with me hitting up eights nines and tens if you wanted

01:12:48.860 but you're sitting there dealing with your like four of a girlfriend it's like an ogre that just

01:12:53.860 so which is all day like it makes no sense i'm gonna say this guys are starting to do that

01:12:59.380 but unlike women when they make an action that they don't make a big scene out of it or anything

01:13:06.000 guys will just disengage you're seeing more and more guys that disengage that's why this

01:13:10.820 stupid male loneliness epidemic when a woman chooses to be single is celebrated but a man

01:13:17.400 she's to be single and he's single and lonely see men we vote with our feet and our dollars so more

01:13:24.120 and more men are just disengaging you you won't even see him do it and you won't even see him do

01:13:30.540 it all of a sudden they're just gone but i think what men need to do is i think they need to lean

01:13:37.160 the opposite direction like i lean the opposite direction like yeah i understand where a lot of

01:13:43.780 women are sitting nowadays but i'll say this there's a lot of women out there that are good

01:13:48.720 women that are great women that like men aren't even talking to like the spaces that i go into

01:13:54.560 into public like i have no trouble talking to these women and connecting with them finding great women

01:13:59.800 just in the public i remember i got on the subway in seattle which is a very democratic liberal

01:14:05.160 it's shithole of a town but i met a writer for i forgot i got her business card back here somewhere

01:14:12.700 but she's a writer for some big newspaper and i was talking to her for like the whole train ride

01:14:17.420 come find out she's single and she's like a really sweet girl and she came up in a really good family

01:14:22.100 and we're just talking and she's like yeah i just choose not to date not because men are she's like

01:14:27.000 i'm not even focused on my career like that it's just i haven't found somebody that really makes

01:14:32.020 me feel the way i should feel and i can understand that because a lot of men don't know how to make

01:14:36.740 women feel the way they should to open up and be submissive because a lot of ideology today is

01:14:42.480 you know be a boss but be closed off a lot of these women do want to be submissive even if they

01:14:47.080 do make more money a man supposed to make a woman feel a certain way dude are you serious

01:14:52.440 i'm well i'm not saying you have to sit there and make her feel a certain way but i think about it

01:14:58.480 as it's the way you frame yourself and the way you come off the way that i come off i i don't try

01:15:03.960 like i could i can walk in most places and women notice me because of the way i carry myself i

01:15:10.260 don't go out of my way to do it it's just they see it and they're like okay he's interesting i want

01:15:16.020 to talk to this guy but i don't position myself to where it's hood rat girls coming up to me or

01:15:21.860 stupid girls or girls that i don't want attracted to me it's usually women like okay this woman's

01:15:28.120 intelligent like i can tell that she knows how to carry herself yeah doug i think it's just the

01:15:32.820 only solution you really have i mean it's not that you should have to do it but like what do

01:15:39.900 it it was making women feel a certain way like women are only loyal to our feelings

01:15:46.860 women aren't going to have integrity right like that's all you got

01:15:52.780 i think what it is now is is is because women try to say that men are intimidated by them right

01:16:00.540 men are not intimidated by anything that can't eat us alive or kick our ass right but we are

01:16:06.780 concerned about the circumstances that come along with the woman what is she going to bring into

01:16:12.300 your life what kind of chaos because we have this thing where women are like oh women give up so

01:16:17.260 much to be in in a relationship and that's not true a man has to sacrifice his mating strategy

01:16:22.220 his time resources everything and a lot of guys they just don't want to do it men used to get

01:16:28.060 something for doing that but they don't get all they get now is entitlement bad attitude

01:16:34.620 unrealistic expectations that's what comes along with being with being with a woman now

01:16:41.100 no no i don't blame guys for being single yeah i don't i i i agree it's just at times i mean

01:16:50.300 i mean you know there's whole like pua communities to teaching this stuff

01:16:54.780 you know it's because to some extent it works yeah i'll say it works

01:17:00.060 it depends what you're learning if you're learning psychology like actual human psychology and

01:17:06.660 putting that into practice yes that works we're learning like pickup lines and bullshit that's

01:17:11.080 yeah yeah yeah so yeah no it's like i just i just meant there's whole like literature on

01:17:17.400 making women feel a certain way in order to get cooperation unfortunately in 2025 that's all you

01:17:24.660 got have fun with that yeah i don't go out of my way i don't taste them i just attract who i

01:17:32.340 attract and i don't settle for less if you if i see a red flag if i see one red flag within five

01:17:37.400 seconds of seeing it's gone it's done up i'm not even talking i'm keeping it pushing don't get it

01:17:42.480 wrong like i'm not out here being game to 80 million chicks it's like nah i've seen the way

01:17:47.840 you move before based on the psychological things i've learned what i know so nah we're playing

01:17:53.780 cool good man so yeah i'm not gonna sit here and preach all of them need all of me but

01:17:59.220 the ones that the ones that are worth their time they will find you you're working hard isn't it

01:18:04.400 they will find you you just you just got to put yourself in the right environment that's all i

01:18:08.720 preach cool cool thanks for calling in james i appreciate it you're calling your time man

01:18:14.440 great caller we got we got such a run this is a generation continues this is a generational run

01:18:22.420 of callers figuring out their zoom and not wasting my time ranting about a random thing

01:18:29.060 no offense guys i do love you but some of you come on here and just say something that we were

01:18:33.460 not talking about or at times we've had people say oh i love you pro i'm such a fan what's the topic

01:18:40.580 it's like it just derails the show so but this has been great this has been this is what we're

01:18:46.900 looking for okay so next we're going to bring on here's johnny and this is what we're looking for

01:18:56.020 all right turn off the zoom here's john

01:19:03.700 hold on hey okay hold on hold on all right that's all right all right

01:19:10.900 can you hear me you gotta figure out youtube's still on buddy gotta turn the youtube off you're

01:19:14.740 going to get five seconds hold on okay i think i turned youtube off all right there you go all

01:19:23.140 right johnny so uh the question of the day is do you think people change over time have you observed

01:19:31.300 this in either your life or friends or do you think people are mostly the same

01:19:35.540 um absolutely women change they have a similar pattern um

01:19:46.180 a few baby mamas and women girlfriends etc but men like men will change when they get into a

01:19:58.040 military or religion but usually men they don't change as much as women change I guess for

01:20:11.380 their feelings okay so I want to say my interpretation and then I want to see if

01:20:17.580 this matches with what you've seen I think that from a young age women kind of are who we are

01:20:24.020 at like 15 16 ish in terms of core personality traits so I've known women that were really lazy

01:20:31.240 or maybe they were really sweet really easy to get along whatever it is but there are times

01:20:38.920 where women put on a mask for like one I really think women can hold out for like two years

01:20:45.060 a few years but they will always revert back to who they were when they were younger like

01:20:51.820 a lot of women that I know that did crazy things like in a divorce or in something it wouldn't

01:20:58.100 shock me because I knew who she was when she was younger and they were sure so I'm curious is that

01:21:04.900 what you've seen or have you seen something different when it comes to changing female

01:21:08.960 behavior go ahead no no that's correct also but also the the tear of the man so I've been able to

01:21:17.320 hold that attention span for like 10 years okay you know a few times so you know but yeah and

01:21:27.080 then in between girlfriends here and there breaking into your house and getting naked and stuff like

01:21:34.860 that and just you know throwing their sails into your lives so okay what traits do you think

01:21:42.660 cannot change when it comes to men and women things that you can't change women i just i just

01:21:51.060 there's just that like saying you know a lot of people like to bring history and biology and our

01:21:57.700 past ancestors and stuff i think naturally you know the women or men died early so they had to

01:22:05.860 find a new mate so a lot a lot of it's like cultural uh sins lust you know society you know

01:22:14.100 we're we're in a cesspool right now so okay yeah and and we and what was the question about men

01:22:23.860 i just asked what traits do you think cannot change over time or don't generally change oh yeah

01:22:29.940 and for men uh yeah i'm on the men's side i don't know i don't okay i haven't i'm many friends

01:22:38.660 lately and and i don't show my face yet because that's all right you don't have to right on that's

01:22:44.660 all right thanks for calling in absolutely all right pro question try and guess how many times

01:22:51.220 a man will change his um his sports team and his favorite sport in his life try and guess how many

01:22:57.940 times none so kind of stick to it once yeah i was gonna guess none but because i think my dad's

01:23:09.200 always at the same sports team i don't really watch sports if i had a gun to my head i think

01:23:15.240 i'd pick the milwaukee box for my favorite sports team but i couldn't i couldn't tell you anything

01:23:21.760 about that team so obviously it doesn't mean much to me it's just because i got to go see the fight

01:23:28.320 you know it's funny when i was in milwaukee um oh my gosh i because it was through like an influencer

01:23:35.760 thing i got to go to the game seven of the milwaukee bucks winning the series and all year

01:23:42.160 the guys at the work would be talking about sports and i'd be like this is so boring can

01:23:46.080 we talk about something else like obviously and or i would just like i just wouldn't care and

01:23:51.440 And then I was the one that ended up with free tickets to game seven.

01:23:58.100 Because it was like they're a brand or something.

01:24:00.580 And then I literally saw them like win, you know, the whole thing.

01:24:04.340 And like you storm the court and stuff.

01:24:06.380 And it was pretty good seats.

01:24:08.000 But, oh, you know what it was?

01:24:09.340 I think I interviewed the president of the Milwaukee Bucks.

01:24:12.360 So, you know, a gun to my head.

01:24:14.400 That's what I would pick.

01:24:15.280 But I still know nothing about the team.

01:24:17.920 All right.

01:24:18.280 So, Chad.

01:24:19.780 Chad. Oh, I think Chad Chaddington. I think I remember him. He's called him before.

01:24:33.860 Chad, how's it going? Hey, what's up? Can y'all hear me? I can hear you. You're the guy that

01:24:41.580 hold on. There you go. Okay. I muted it. You're good. You're the, you're the guy,

01:24:48.520 you had all the you can't you came in and gave me your stats one day didn't you yeah i remember okay

01:24:55.560 i remember you chad's a chad okay so what are your thoughts on the topic do you think people

01:25:01.560 change over time or do they mostly stay the same i would say on the whole mostly stay the same

01:25:10.760 i have uh actually put together a list for you since i know you want to get to the point and

01:25:15.000 blah blah blah but i got like seven different psych i got seven different psychological reasons

01:25:22.680 that people legitimately change in their life okay uh and this is from psychology studies okay

01:25:31.640 uh so number one uh and i actually have a couple with experiences um the number one is a traumatic

01:25:39.080 brain injury. Oh, yeah. Okay. And one of my buddies for 23 years now, super partier, lots of

01:25:49.900 drugs, lots of alcohol, real like textbook alcoholic had to drink every day. When he got

01:25:58.080 into the accident, which I was there for 21 days in the hospital in a coma, he had to go through

01:26:07.120 detox while in the coma. Um, and when he came out of it about three to four months later,

01:26:16.520 when he finally started getting back to normal, he's probably about 90% back to, uh, and this is

01:26:26.200 six, seven years ago. So he's about 90 to 90, not quite 95, 90% back to normal to where he was

01:26:33.020 pre-traumatic brain injury except he has no like he lightly drinks now he's not an alcoholic he

01:26:42.100 doesn't need to drink every day his temperament totally changed uh was a very alpha male fight

01:26:48.980 everyone blah blah blah i had to calm him down from so many fights constantly um very laid back

01:26:56.000 now doesn't even want to step on an ant rather go around an ant pile but the biggest thing was the

01:27:01.380 drugs uh he he was probably a couple few years away from dying from you know not just pot we're

01:27:08.980 talking like coke and every once in a while crack and stuff like that and 25 years seeing this i

01:27:15.140 never thought something would change him but yeah traumatic brain injury number one thing that would

01:27:20.340 actually physically legitimately change someone uh number two i've studied uh over 250 near-death

01:27:29.380 experiences and i will tell you that no one comes back from a near-death experience not changed

01:27:37.180 every single person has come back changed from a near-death experience that i've uh researched

01:27:43.740 so how did they change like in what way is it life decisions is it their their core you know

01:27:52.080 like if i went through a near-death experience would i be quiet would i be a quiet person

01:27:56.820 tomorrow you know i mean like in what way do they tend to change so i'm glad you asked that the the

01:28:02.660 number one thing i tell people about near-death experiences again i've read over 250 cases and

01:28:08.100 i've listened to over 500 in the past 20 years um and the remarkable thing about near-death

01:28:16.340 experiences is the funniest thing i find about it that i research is that 90 of atheists that

01:28:24.820 have near-death experiences will come back somehow spiritual or religious okay and 90 of

01:28:35.460 super religious people will come back and leave their religion and seek a more and seek a more

01:28:43.140 spiritual path yes it is great it is it is so weird how many atheist stories i've read that

01:28:53.540 have come back and became spiritual and how many physical nuns priests deacons men and women of

01:29:01.380 church they actually come back and they're like man i was so wrong jesus is there but he doesn't

01:29:08.500 want me to be this devout bible thumping get everyone on board blah blah blah he wants me

01:29:13.700 to live a peaceful life and and show people that you can live a peaceful life and love everyone

01:29:19.220 and blah blah blah without having to go to church every week without having to do this

01:29:23.580 it's crazy how uh again i put it as number two because no one comes back from a near-death

01:29:32.080 experience and doesn't have a life altering change so okay because what you're saying i

01:29:38.720 wouldn't say is a personality change right like i don't think i would not be a different person

01:29:44.680 if I just, you know, either started going to church on Sunday or stopped.

01:29:49.960 So I'm just wondering, was there anything deeper that you felt like

01:29:54.140 in terms of their, like, core traits of who they are?

01:29:57.780 Yes.

01:30:00.140 Getting, kind of going back to the traumatic brain injury

01:30:04.060 with my buddy and everything,

01:30:06.740 the majority of people that come back from near-death experiences

01:30:11.420 do experience a physical emotional mental change in their lives as different people like literally

01:30:20.540 coming back if you're if you're an asshole and you die and you see all this stuff and you come

01:30:24.980 back you're a little bit lighter no one comes back no one comes back more of an asshole it's

01:30:31.000 usually they come back oh i was i was a 10 asshole now i'm like a two to three okay okay and that's

01:30:38.740 that's that's men and women oh that's the funny thing the last two are are more men and women

01:30:44.960 directly too so just letting you know okay cool what's that so number three a horrific death of

01:30:52.080 a loved one p i've seen several people in my life change from the hard partier the or or not just

01:31:05.000 a hard partier i've seen the super uh work is everything i work 80 hours a week and that's all

01:31:12.800 i do i don't care about my family i provide for them they're good enough blah blah blah

01:31:16.940 well once a horrific like let's say and i'm when i say the death of a loved one i'm talking about

01:31:23.160 someone they consider they love the most a mother a father a child the the best friend they've known

01:31:29.380 for 40 years stuff like that a real real close someone they truly love and then they go through

01:31:36.240 that horrific death and it kind of wakes them up to change themselves type of thing okay and I've

01:31:44.800 seen several people do that throughout my life nothing notable I can give you like off the top

01:31:50.920 of my head except uh one of my friends back about 15 years ago lost their child and they were a uh

01:32:02.980 60 hour a week dad um you know missed a lot of stuff in school for their kids and everything

01:32:09.660 well when they lost their oldest child all of a sudden now they're super dad you know they're

01:32:17.720 they're like no 40 hours a week or less and everything's about their children and you can

01:32:24.120 literally physically see the change from a more a less compassionate person to a more

01:32:30.600 compassionate person and these are legitimate changes not just temporary so okay what's next

01:32:38.240 these are great number four uh age um age i've seen from i mean i'm 50 years old so i have

01:32:51.380 you know and i've had a lot of older friends i've lost a lot of people because i've actually had a

01:32:56.320 lot of older friends my buddy with the traumatic brain experience is 12 years older than me

01:33:00.800 i've lost several people in their 70s back 10 20 years ago and what i've found is is that

01:33:08.220 age, if I know someone in their 20s and 30s, they are different people in their 50s and 60s.

01:33:18.060 Now, percentage-wise, for me, I've only experienced maybe about 25, a quarter of the

01:33:24.360 people I've known to watch over 30 years change to become better or worse. Unfortunately, I have

01:33:31.700 seen a couple of worse, and a couple of the worse have been in my family. They were better people

01:33:35.720 earlier and they just became curmudgeons as they grew older but uh age would be number four where

01:33:41.860 significant life changing you can actually physically see what what traits change because

01:33:49.300 i have a hard time and maybe i'll change this opinion as i get older but i just have a hard

01:33:54.820 time believing that people's like core personality traits change like if somebody if there's

01:34:00.720 something significant that sort of makes someone who they are i haven't really seen much change

01:34:06.360 like if someone's bitchy maybe they're less bitchy but they're still kind of bitchy you know

01:34:10.740 what i mean you gotta observe okay i'm sorry go ahead no no no i i was just curious what traits

01:34:16.800 changed with the people over time go ahead well number one again i have 20 years of 20 plus years

01:34:23.900 on you. So I have experienced people over a 20 to 30 year period of their life, seeing how they

01:34:31.020 were when they were a little bit younger and then growing up a little bit more. But also what we're

01:34:35.920 talking about is significant change, real change, real trait change in their life. We're only

01:34:41.580 talking like maybe, maybe at best 20% of the people I've known. Yeah. So 80% of the people

01:34:50.400 will be the same person they are from teen just like you said from teenager and this is men and

01:34:55.720 women from teenager till death till the grave the ones i'm talking the seven i'm talking about right

01:35:02.120 now are the 20 yeah you know from the psychological studies i've seen and some personal experiences

01:35:08.100 from these psychological studies sure so so when it comes to age you know i'm i'm deferring to you

01:35:13.520 you know more than me so i i'm just wondering what traits and the people that changed because

01:35:19.460 of age is it similar to the other ones you've listed uh age usually you the the traits i

01:35:29.380 typically see with the age change over 20 to 30 years with people are they become except for

01:35:36.920 the majority of them become more legitimately compassionate understanding caring and tolerant

01:35:46.120 okay but they can go the other way too i've seen the other way where 30 years ago they were a good

01:35:52.420 person and they've just become a total bitch or an asshole just because okay yeah i mean it now

01:35:59.960 the good thing is i've only experienced the the negative side uh you know 20 and i've experienced

01:36:07.700 the good change in people over 30 20 30 years 80 of the time so i would say that

01:36:15.440 When most people, the older most people get, typically the change that I would say the most of is becoming tolerant, compassionate, caring, a little more than they were in their 20s and 30s type of thing.

01:36:32.020 Cool. What's next?

01:36:34.580 Number five. Number five. Now, this is a personal one to me.

01:36:40.460 Number five is exposure to many different cultures.

01:36:45.440 okay and what i what i mean is is uh being being in central florida around disney and universal

01:36:52.640 you have the world population coming into you um and you want to talk about a melting pot central

01:36:59.860 florida is actually a melting pot and it has been for the past 30 to 40 years because so many people

01:37:05.860 move to that area for the hospitality industry from all over the world i've met people i have

01:37:12.600 friends from about, let's say, 80 percent of the countries that are friendly with the United States.

01:37:20.580 I have friends from those countries, and I've learned from them directly their cultures from

01:37:26.040 them and not just reading it in a textbook. So I had, whereas most Americans who haven't

01:37:33.020 been exposed to a large cultural diversity, worldwide cultural diversity, tend to stay in

01:37:39.360 a very narrow tunnel their entire lives whereas someone who has many friends and I know you you

01:37:46.340 lived abroad right you lived in yeah Britain yeah England oh I got tons of friends from England

01:37:51.620 and oh some of my best friends are from England and Europe but I know people from Africa and Asia

01:37:58.960 and everything the one thing about cultural differences is especially for an open-minded

01:38:03.440 person like myself also a social butterfly I love you I'll talk to a rock if you give me a chance

01:38:09.140 uh learning cultures directly from the people from around the world especially when it negates

01:38:18.320 the negative thoughts you had about different cultures when growing up in whatever town you

01:38:24.380 grew up in or whatever little town you grew up in and you only knew people from that town or that

01:38:29.640 state it really does open your eyes to a world having those friends tell you legitimate things

01:38:37.680 that they do in their country you see oh my god this guy's from this country that's supposed to

01:38:42.860 be unfriendly and he's one of the nicest people you ever want to meet so it really does open your

01:38:48.960 mind and change you to in fact i would say it i was an open-minded person before i was in central

01:38:56.520 florida 30 35 years ago but being in central florida exposed to all those people around

01:39:01.980 disney universal and the hospitality industry and everyone moving in there and all the friends i've

01:39:07.560 made from around the world it opened my mind even more i would say so that that was my chain number

01:39:14.760 six personal number six okay now this one is mostly female but it does affect many men as well

01:39:24.140 number six your first child your first child will change you and especially i've seen this i've

01:39:33.580 dated too many women so i've seen this i remember i've dated women before their children and i know

01:39:41.560 them to this day and let me tell you they are not the same people and they're not pretending

01:39:47.100 that i literally watched them change overnight after they had their first child for the better

01:39:53.340 and personality traits mental emotional can you give me can you give me an example of one just

01:40:00.880 just uh okay so uh woman i dated actually dated her for three years she didn't want children oh

01:40:10.600 my god she wanted to be with me because i was snipped at 30 so there was no chance of a child

01:40:15.080 and we got together when this is years ago she was mid-20s i was upper 30s and uh we dated for

01:40:23.980 three years did not want a child love that i got snipped blah blah blah uh was a was a good person

01:40:32.500 but a habitual liar um didn't have her shit together didn't know what she wanted in her life

01:40:39.240 uh typical teenager but in a 26 seven year old body um i know her today i know her and her husband

01:40:48.160 today they had a child about six or seven years ago so i guess the child's about six or seven

01:40:54.960 and oh my god she is a she is completely a different person her personality and i've known

01:41:03.840 her long enough and was intimate with her long enough to to see that these are actual physical

01:41:09.760 emotional and mental changes that she did for this child and her her new husband she wanted

01:41:17.520 to become this person i i seen it before it was just she had problems emotional and mental problems

01:41:25.040 which most young people do have especially young women who have father issues and there's a lot

01:41:30.320 of those out there um but yeah her her her mentality emotional uh emotional mental state

01:41:39.440 um her responsibilities uh everything fell in line she got her together she grew up she became

01:41:46.960 a really good mother good wife and a better woman i can't say that she doesn't lie as much but i can

01:41:56.400 definitely say that you know her husband wouldn't put up with that so she probably has realized

01:42:02.960 especially after she we we after we broke up i mean it pretty much devastated her because

01:42:10.480 Because we could have been together, but I knew she needed a child, and that child changed

01:42:21.060 her life.

01:42:21.900 I saw it change her life physically, emotionally, mentally.

01:42:26.400 She is a better person because of it.

01:42:29.160 I'm not saying she's not a little bit like her old ways, but I could definitely see the

01:42:35.020 positive changes in her life.

01:42:36.800 What's number seven?

01:42:38.580 Number seven.

01:42:39.520 Now, this one, this one is typically, and this is from reading a lot of psychology books, mostly men fall under this, but I'm not going to negate women from doing it. I'm just saying mostly men change from sheer willpower alone.

01:42:55.580 that's the last one sheer willpower alone uh i've only met maybe one or two people in my life

01:43:04.240 and i don't know them you know now but just i i knew them when i was younger and

01:43:11.620 one guy i could i could think of he he was alcoholic he lost his wife and kid because

01:43:21.100 of it. He lost his job. He lost everything. And he got into the AA program. He wanted to change

01:43:30.940 his life. Within five years, he got good, stable work, apartment. He got rights to his kids back.

01:43:39.920 And even though his ex-wife and him didn't get back together, the way he changed helped them

01:43:46.580 at least have a good relationship for the co-parenting of their child. And that sheer

01:43:52.380 willpower, no one made him do it. It was just he decided, no, this is enough. I'm not going to ruin

01:43:59.080 my life anymore. I have a kid. I lost everything because of it. He went to AA by himself. He did

01:44:04.880 all this stuff. We supported him. Friend Network supported him and everything. But he's one of the

01:44:10.260 ones that sticks out in my mind. And there's very few. Sheer willpower alone is very few.

01:44:16.580 normally it's you have to to have a real life-changing experience someone to really

01:44:22.260 change their life it has to be something traumatic in your in your life i think one of your callers

01:44:28.340 said it uh earlier um you just get so tired of the pain and suffering and something just snaps

01:44:34.820 or happens to you and you're like no this is it i got to change this about myself but the sheer

01:44:40.120 willpower alone very few women I've read about doing it it's mostly men but again

01:44:47.260 all this list of real change in real people's lives it's only talking about

01:44:52.420 maybe 20% unfortunately 80% will be the same all throughout their life well

01:45:01.060 thanks so much for calling in Chad that was a great list appreciate ya no

01:45:05.500 problem great talking to y'all y'all have a blessed night doug and pearl all right see ya

01:45:10.140 all right uh we'll do one more caller see the marvelous option

01:45:17.580 marvelous option welcome to the show um so what do you think do you think people mostly change

01:45:29.740 or mostly stay the same when it comes to their personality traits this can either be you or

01:45:33.980 people that you've observed what do you think are you there marvelous marvelous opinion are you there

01:45:46.620 we can see you all right you got you got five seconds to figure it out five

01:45:53.100 oh there now i hear you we can hear you now i hear you can you hear me

01:46:01.020 marvelous opinion

01:46:03.980 I'm sorry, I just, I don't have time for this.

01:46:07.120 Okay, I guess Sean.

01:46:13.380 Hey.

01:46:14.860 Oh, that's Sean, Sean.

01:46:16.840 All right.

01:46:18.020 All right, Sean.

01:46:18.820 Can you now hear me?

01:46:19.500 I can hear you.

01:46:21.500 All right, back, go.

01:46:22.700 Okay, so what do you think?

01:46:24.100 You think people mostly stay the same,

01:46:26.360 or do they change over time?

01:46:28.960 um from i i'm making the case that most people's core personality pretty much stays the same

01:46:36.080 but i'm open to be improving otherwise so what's your life experience

01:46:39.960 my life experience is most people stay the same um i can give a story about how i change but

01:46:47.980 again that's just personalized in me so i'll give that afterwards but most people don't change they

01:46:54.080 remain the same. Same neighborhood, same community, live and breathe, die there.

01:46:58.540 Most Americans don't have a passport, so they don't even get to explore. Most

01:47:03.140 people just stay where they're from, stay with their family and friends, and

01:47:07.400 that's it.

01:47:13.960 Still there? Oh yeah, sorry, I thought I thought you were gonna keep going. You

01:47:18.460 said you had a personal story. So go ahead.

01:47:24.080 i was waiting for you so yeah yeah i'll give you this i used to be a democrat fish fried nugget

01:47:32.400 pro-black pan-africanist anti-capitalist humanist individual in many different i guess you could

01:47:42.120 say walks in my life many different chapters uh marine killer all this stuff so i would say like

01:47:48.940 over time I've just changed but I have made an aggressive effort to change if that makes sense

01:47:56.760 constantly and so I think most people just don't do that and so just in my own situation I have

01:48:03.160 changed a lot so much so my friends and families would be like you're not the same though you

01:48:09.560 different man and when we was kids you was like x y and z do you think your personality changed or

01:48:16.700 It was just your beliefs because I do want to separate those because like,

01:48:21.660 you know, if I was ever, I had a conservative dad, but if I didn't,

01:48:25.360 I might've been a liberal, but I probably, I've probably been, no,

01:48:29.680 because my personality type, it actually says I was supposed to be a liberal.

01:48:34.100 But, but, you know,

01:48:35.720 I probably still would have been the one with the side going back and forth

01:48:39.720 with people, you know, in a good faith. I, you know, I get it.

01:48:43.540 But, like, I would say the personality would have been the same, but it's just the belief was different.

01:48:48.420 Is it the same for you, or would you say your personality?

01:48:51.460 No, my personality has changed because what they were saying, like, basically I had people write buddy statements about me.

01:48:57.760 Like, they could see a change from me when I, you know, was a kid until when I joined the military.

01:49:03.120 They're like, oh, you used to be like this, basically, you know, an extrovert.

01:49:07.200 Now I'm more of an introvert.

01:49:09.140 So my personality changed over the years due to my beliefs also.

01:49:12.560 So so it was just like a two way street for me. But, yes, it's changed for me.

01:49:17.180 But I always say, like, mine is a special case because I actually actively look to change myself and revamped and evolve myself.

01:49:24.640 So, yes, my personality does change. All right. Cool. Doug, you got any questions for him?

01:49:31.580 um that's where the you from being an extrovert to an introvert what was the biggest person

01:49:38.880 what what uh what is it that being a did you find that being an introvert was more beneficial to the

01:49:48.040 life you wanted to live like what made the change from being an extrovert to an introvert yeah that's

01:49:52.980 exactly you actually just said it in a question doug like it just changed the way people interact

01:49:58.800 You know, I was an insecure individual, so I was a class clown.

01:50:02.640 So most of it, I was like an eye show speed in a way.

01:50:05.620 And then net net, when I got older, I got more confident, more competent.

01:50:09.560 And then I just became an introvert just because, you know, when you tend to expose yourself, then you have to expose yourself to people's attitudes and behaviors.

01:50:18.260 And so I just became a more calm person, a more stoic person, and then just changed how I did everything.

01:50:24.480 So that was the main reason.

01:50:26.220 But it was kind of in your question when you said it does.

01:50:28.800 cool cool man i just saw better benefits but i would say this most women don't change

01:50:34.020 they remain the same all right and then the guy was spitting game earlier so just stay stoic and

01:50:41.620 i think most guys they see it as like their goal is to maintain the girl for the long duration

01:50:47.060 even if you're an alpha and you're in charge and you're leading women are going to sometimes fall

01:50:52.300 out of love with that then they're going to want a guy who's sensitive you know they were attracted

01:50:58.280 about you dodging bullets and hopping on helicopters but then a later point in their

01:51:03.180 life they're like i used to like it but now it's disgusting it's scary it's annoying so people

01:51:09.700 change especially women because they just change their love condition don't see it as a loss

01:51:15.800 just see it as our deal no longer works out i'm sorry you feel that way but i'm moving on i wish

01:51:23.200 you the best if that makes sense yeah totally yeah i appreciate you guys thanks sean

01:51:30.620 yes sir yes sir yes sir it's funny he seems extroverted to me yeah yeah i would have thought

01:51:42.900 so too yeah that's what i was like this there's a super chat he's really calm though so i'd agree

01:51:48.320 that um okay let me see is it on the on on youtube this new set i'm just okay apologizing

01:51:58.140 for the technical difficulties thanks for the marvelous opportunity or for the opportunity

01:52:02.380 though well it's we do this call-in show every night i mean you can figure it out tomorrow it's

01:52:08.060 no big deal i i don't hold it against anybody but you know i just i don't you know i used to wait

01:52:17.020 for you guys and it would just drive me freaking nuts and it's for my sanity really it's about me

01:52:22.620 so i can't i can't take doug being like turn the youtube off i'm like i'm gonna kill myself i can't

01:52:29.660 do it or the countdown you know we can only do one or two countdowns a show and then it starts

01:52:35.920 to kill the vibe of the show so yeah i mean i'll you got like five seconds look i figured out how

01:52:41.920 zoom work you guys you guys got to do it too respectfully you know so i understand the tech

01:52:47.560 difficulties you know we're used to women that won't wait for us yeah i'm glad you are

01:52:52.920 okay uh well i would still say i think most people's core personality traits are pretty

01:53:01.580 much the same i think that's kind of the consensus with some people saying there are exceptions i i

01:53:07.740 don't know i think most people revert but i haven't seen it doesn't mean that i will i or i

01:53:14.760 won't in the future who knows what are your final thoughts doug mpa yeah you know if someone's a

01:53:22.120 douchebag when they're young they're going to be a douchebag later on in life that's why they

01:53:26.200 glorify in movies when someone was a bully but then they go back to the person they bully and

01:53:31.260 apologize because that's worth writing a book about or making a movie about it happens so little

01:53:36.960 you know what i'm saying yeah that's what i was thinking because um i was telling someone about

01:53:41.140 this show topic and they said they they made a reference to is either joker or batman and saying

01:53:47.540 how like that like joker became the joker because he kept saying like like ask me about my scars and

01:53:53.460 then batman or maybe it was spider-man i think it was spider-man yeah that day and i'm like well

01:53:59.400 the reason there's a movie about it is because it doesn't really happen it's like it's like the

01:54:05.360 mid chick that gets the hot guy and all the women i i today i walked by there was this giant um

01:54:12.880 event of women like watching a movie in the park and i still couldn't help but think we're just

01:54:19.120 like adult children you know what i mean like they need to be energy but but i was like what

01:54:24.720 are all these women here for so i asked the girl and i'm like what's the what's the title and um

01:54:30.480 um and then so i googled the title of the the show and of course it's like this five with a

01:54:36.520 nine i'm like yep that's the female dream yeah well some of the best advice my father ever gave

01:54:43.920 me was those who don't have to won't and a lot of people are put especially women are put are never

01:54:50.980 put in the position where they have to change so they won't exactly well thanks for calling in

01:54:57.400 today doug mpa i appreciate your contributions as always cool yeah thanks for having me as usual

01:55:05.080 all right so guys uh thanks so much for watching if you guys want you know you don't have to

01:55:09.960 go to the audacitynetwork.com and sign up for our monthly memberships i mean hey if we get

01:55:16.680 do you know what there's an interview i did like two years a year and a half ago that i didn't put

01:55:21.560 out because i just this person was more controversial than nikah and i gotta be honest i

01:55:28.800 actually didn't know who he was until he i thought he was someone else it's a long story i'm retarded

01:55:34.520 sometimes i like i thought he was someone else and then um he came on and anyways but you know

01:55:42.760 if i had f you if i had enough people on the website where everyone could stay employed if i

01:55:48.240 ever got demonetized i could bring on really anybody and it would be amazing but yeah right

01:55:55.880 now i just i gotta stay monetized so people can keep their jobs including me so you know sign up

01:56:02.140 divorce documentaries in the bio um like the video subscribe thanks for watching

Pearl - September 18, 2025

People Don’t Change as Much as You Think (Call-in Show) ｜ Pearl Daily

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