Pearl - October 10, 2024


"Red Pill Realities: Why Women Reject It (Part 2) | Pearl Daily


Episode Stats

Length

48 minutes

Words per Minute

148.5019

Word Count

7,266

Sentence Count

136

Misogynist Sentences

41

Hate Speech Sentences

21


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 good afternoon good evening ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of pearl daily i am
00:00:14.700 your host pearl and this is the audacity network if you want to support my work please go to the
00:00:20.620 audacitynetwork.com we are currently demonetized on this channel and youtube does throttle us so
00:00:26.200 it's viewers like you that make this possible there's two options it's the ten dollars a month
00:00:32.300 and eighty dollars a year both of those options will get you access to the chat which i do read
00:00:38.980 during the show so if you want to super chat or even just put your comment in the chat that is
00:00:45.040 how you do it um and the money we get we make from that goes towards upping the set flying in guests
00:00:52.940 and also doing our documentaries. So also please like the video on your way in. So today's topic
00:01:00.380 I asked you guys yesterday on my show if you wanted me to cover a new topic today or
00:01:06.340 talk about the end of the video yesterday which was a conservative commentator freaking out about
00:01:15.380 the red pill. Now the interesting thing is women will always tell men that they want them to open 0.89
00:01:22.160 up about their issues. But whenever men open up about their issues, women fire back and say that 0.91
00:01:29.800 it's not a problem. Millions of men across the country and even from other countries around the 0.99
00:01:36.480 world have said that marriage is a bad deal for men, modern women are not wives, and that divorce
00:01:43.980 court is stacked against them. And instead of saying, you know what, that's a terrible problem
00:01:49.820 and listening to the men what I see women tend to do is gaslight them and say that these problems 0.97
00:01:57.900 are not real so let me pull up the end of we did the first half yesterday so if you want to see 0.99
00:02:07.360 that go to the live stream yesterday but the second half of this interview now Hannah Cox is 1.00
00:02:12.620 a conservative commentator and she brought on a divorce lawyer to back up that it's not women 0.92
00:02:20.360 divorcing men and the court system is just completely fair and not stacked against men 1.00
00:02:26.740 bad getting the kids because that's that's is it on okay time where she doesn't have to be on 100
00:02:36.780 percent um that's that's time where she's not having to financially support the kids so i would
00:02:43.020 say generally i mean it's here it's it's you're a good person like a genuinely good person no
00:02:46.940 skeletons in the closet nothing that is going to be painful to talk about across examination
00:02:53.420 you're you're going to get uh pretty close somewhere over 30 around 50 if that's what
00:02:59.900 you're going for yeah i mean it seems i my anecdotal experience looking out in the world
00:03:04.220 is it seems like more and more men are pushing to get custody and that when they do they're given
00:03:08.620 it and and i my spidey senses kind of tend to go off when i hear them so this is what happens the
00:03:15.260 men say hey this isn't fair this is a problem and most men in this country suffer in silence
00:03:23.660 men are not ones that have a tendency to complain so when men say that there's a problem
00:03:31.580 it's a real problem so when men say that the court system is completely stacked against them
00:03:38.160 and millions of men say that they could not get custody of their children you know we reveal our
00:03:46.180 true nature when we come out and we don't believe them and claiming like oh i couldn't get my kids 0.99
00:03:52.800 she's keeping my kids from me and i i not to say that i don't think there's some bitter bio moms 0.74
00:03:57.600 out there for sure there are but it does seem like the law has adapted a good bit to where
00:04:02.960 unless there's like a pretty credible claim against you for some reason it seems pretty
00:04:07.680 difficult to have a scenario where the woman can just like divorce you for no reason take the kids
00:04:11.920 for no reason and prevent you from accessing them yes i would i would agree with that as a generality
00:04:17.680 there there are exceptions to everything we're talking about but yes i agree with that as in
00:04:23.120 in general that's exactly correct so when it comes to child support like obviously that is something
00:04:28.080 that you hear a lot of men complaining about and i like that you brought up how the you know it could
00:04:33.200 be a lot of money out of your paycheck and still not be a lot of money to supplement that child
00:04:37.600 you know i did an episode on daycare cost a few months ago and it's very similar right where it's
00:04:42.400 like you look at the amount of money people are having to pay for daycare and it's astronomical
00:04:46.160 but then you think would i take somebody else's kid for eight nine hours a day for that amount
00:04:50.560 heck no it's not that much money you know that would not make it worth it in my book so it's
00:04:54.960 very similar in that way i mean what about how much do you see is there like an average that
00:05:00.320 most people pay when it comes to child support or is it sort of all over the map based on income
00:05:05.680 it is it is absolutely based on income in tennessee there's actually a an excel spreadsheet
00:05:12.480 you can you can google tennessee child support guidelines and you can go to the link and you
00:05:18.560 you can download the spreadsheet I don't I actually don't know what the formula is I'm
00:05:23.760 just used to punching in the information and it spits out an answer but it looks at the amount of
00:05:31.260 time the number of days that a parent gets it's looking at the number of kids there are it's
00:05:37.560 looking at the income of both parents and at the end it kind of spits out a number as to what is
00:05:45.680 what does the state think is a fair child support payment for the spouse so he is correct that this 0.82
00:05:52.220 is a calculator but remember the child support calculator punishes men for doing the right thing
00:06:00.620 hypothetically now right and wrong it's going to depend on your worldview but we can all agree that
00:06:05.980 it's very generous for a man to want his wife to stay home with the kids that's a very generous
00:06:11.460 kind thing to do and the issue is the women are awarded more money when that happens and while
00:06:21.720 it's not a gendered law so to say women don't tend to marry men that don't make enough money 0.99
00:06:30.700 for one spouse to make to the other spouse.
00:06:35.400 So you will sometimes see one of the spouses try to negotiate in that faith.
00:06:45.980 So they'll ask for 50-50 with the intention of rarely exercising custody.
00:06:54.580 Or they'll come in and they'll try to hide what their income is.
00:06:59.580 um something you see a lot is guys will quit their pretty good paying jobs take a thirty
00:07:06.700 thousand dollar a year reduction in salary um and not see a change of lifestyle i want to first
00:07:15.300 to thank paul you just got a year membership we really appreciate you thank you paul um on the
00:07:22.180 website so second of all we have to ask why would men go to such extreme lengths to avoid child
00:07:30.320 support to the point of quitting a high paying job and what you come to find out is that child
00:07:38.520 support is calculated before tax so not only do men have to give up their salary the way it's
00:07:48.640 calculated is the woman is not paying tax on the money and the man is. So many men find that
00:07:57.060 they've lost 80% of their income. It's not uncommon. And this is 18 years. Imagine
00:08:05.160 losing 80% of your paycheck and looking at the next 18 years of your life.
00:08:10.940 what would be your solution because if I'm going to have to work a high stress job
00:08:20.160 to get rid of 80% of my paycheck I might as well just go work something easy and enjoy life
00:08:26.760 this system ruins many good men to the point that many contemplate suicide because of this system
00:08:38.660 i also you have to you have to assume at that point they're working underneath the table
00:08:44.500 so anyway at this formula spits out enough and it's it's it's i don't see a typical child support
00:08:51.780 payment um i just see whatever that whatever that number is and do you guys i mean does this go
00:08:57.460 through you if somebody doesn't pay their child support how is that something that you come across
00:09:01.540 i feel like statistically i hear about it a lot but i'm curious on the ground like if that's
00:09:05.380 something that yes and that that that can that can trigger a number of things so if if you are owed
00:09:13.380 child support and you're not receiving child support you can sue them and and that would be
00:09:18.420 a breach of contract it's also a court filing dang it getting my words mixed up it's a uh
00:09:24.660 contempt of courts so when you get a contempt of court you can catch a uh you can catch a fine
00:09:32.980 can also catch jail time and you're going to be ordered to uh to pay it and um in some instant
00:09:41.460 in some types of contempt and this is one of them you can be held indefinitely until you're not
00:09:48.020 so if somebody owes let's say yeah oh yes oh yes so somebody somebody's um uh gets held
00:09:57.060 i don't know let's say they're twenty thousand dollars behind they'll get arrested and placed
00:10:02.020 in jail for contempt and they will have a bond set for uh i don't know five thousand bucks
00:10:09.380 something something to kind of make a major payment towards this and they don't get out
00:10:14.820 until they come up with that money um and it's it's never ceased to astonish me how very broke
00:10:20.740 people are able you know can't rub two pennies together but all of a sudden uh they're in jail
00:10:27.300 they're able to come up with some money so that's one thing that you could see you can also see uh
00:10:32.860 garnishments so we had one man on the channel imagine this imagine he was paying 10 000 a month
00:10:41.700 in child support he just got out of a divorce where the woman took over a million dollars and
00:10:48.560 he still got contempt of court because he couldn't make his payment immediately and he had just given
00:10:57.380 his wife a million dollars. Is that not enough to raise? I think they had two kids, maybe three.
00:11:09.040 I don't know. One in the chat. Could you guys raise a couple kids for a million dollars? Could
00:11:14.060 you do it? I don't know. Um, one person in the chat says 70% of men in homeless shelters are men
00:11:22.920 pretty much tell men to do better. Even when we protect and provide the other thing is many men
00:11:30.440 that are homeless are homeless because they've gotten so behind on their child support payments.
00:11:35.980 They don't see the point of getting a job. They literally don't see the point. Um, we had one guy
00:11:42.100 on the show who told me that he would go to homeless shelters and see how many men had had
00:11:48.000 access to the family court system within the last five years. According to his research, 70% of the
00:11:54.520 men in homeless shelters were there because of family court. This is a deep issue, right?
00:12:02.960 And what they keep doing is they keep saying it's not an issue. It's just, it's gaslighting. And the
00:12:08.100 thing is again as women we don't want to be pandered to I mean we do but right but I when
00:12:16.520 you start to wake up as a woman you realize you don't want men lying to you 24 7 and that's what
00:12:24.720 this is it's pandering there's no way this guy has worked in the court system for nine years and
00:12:30.520 doesn't know this stuff he's not trustworthy but he's pandering to future clients people did
00:12:37.980 garnished all the time on their wages to to pay child support uh you can see some asset seizures
00:12:44.480 so uh i got a friend another attorney who was able to seize a uh fishing boat because dad was
00:12:54.640 behind so they got a lien against the fishing boat he ignored it and he went out one day to
00:13:00.740 find his fishing boat was gone so it's stuff like that that could that could happen um but actually
00:13:07.680 where i where i see people trying to get around paying child support is where they come in and
00:13:13.260 they try to gain that formula they come in and say judge i i took a thirty thousand dollar hit
00:13:19.120 my income okay you know and and you know i need to pay less um and in instances like that a judge
00:13:27.640 can can find that somebody's willfully underemployed uh which means that the judge says
00:13:33.960 I think you can make 80
00:13:35.600 just because you're making 50 doesn't mean
00:13:38.080 that I'm going to take money
00:13:40.000 away from your kids so 0.80
00:13:41.980 I'm going to leave child support alone
00:13:43.740 you can figure out how to
00:13:45.920 find the extra money to pay for this
00:13:47.740 often solves the problem
00:13:50.000 yes and if somebody
00:13:53.220 is completely unemployed at least
00:13:55.980 in Tennessee there is
00:13:57.640 under statute
00:13:59.300 well
00:14:01.800 I can't remember statute but under the law
00:14:03.960 uh there is the court can basically act as if you're making a certain amount it's like 32 000
00:14:11.000 submit for women 35 000 for men and that's the number they put in for those child support payment
00:14:18.600 calculations and again the judge is saying you're an able-bodied human you know it's a crazy law
00:14:24.680 so in the state of california
00:14:26.200 if you I can't remember what age is age it is I have to go back to my notes but
00:14:35.880 I want to say over the age of five or six if you find out that the child is not yours
00:14:44.380 you are still on the hook for child support until the kid is 18 because the way the law is written
00:14:50.440 it is in the best interest of the child and because you signed the birth certificate
00:14:55.540 it, even if it was fraud, you are still on the hook for child support. So imagine being in the
00:15:02.980 position where a woman frauded you and she can still throw you in jail if you do not pay your 0.99
00:15:09.560 child support payments. This stuff is ridiculous. Yeah. And they still have the audacity to say
00:15:21.780 that there's no bias in the system being you can go out there and you can earn this amount of money
00:15:31.780 so you have to pay us if you're making that money and you have to figure out how you're going to
00:15:36.740 earn the money to pay it good luck you and you know they're gone i like that i support that
00:15:42.740 actually yeah um i do too of course
00:15:50.820 oh my goodness okay let me get this straight so if a woman chooses to reproduce now remember 1.00
00:15:59.620 ladies ladies i want to for the women that are waking up and starting to see all of this pandering
00:16:07.300 around us 24 7 once you see it you can unsee it do we have agency are we responsible for
00:16:17.700 procreating with a man without a job or that's irresponsible
00:16:26.180 why should we as adults that can make fully functioning decisions why should we make
00:16:37.300 a homeless man or an unemployed man pay child support if we picked to have a baby with him. 0.69
00:16:48.100 Now, I'm pro-life, but many women aren't. And legally, you can still go get an abortion. 0.96
00:16:56.120 I mean, these days, you have like six months to do it. There's a million forms of birth control. 0.95
00:17:02.280 there's so much stuff to prevent pregnancies with men that are not fit to be fathers so why are we
00:17:12.200 why why are they treating us with kid gloves if you decide to go get pregnant by an irresponsible
00:17:22.880 man that's on you because you're an adult we're not kids we're an adult we're adults
00:17:28.280 out of the coin like and even this conservative commentator this drives me nuts even the
00:17:33.580 conservative woman still treats women like children i don't know why i'm demonetized really
00:17:41.480 i'm the one saying that we're adults i'm the one saying hey guys we don't need to be treated
00:17:48.840 like children we're adults and i'm the one that's demonetized here it's so crazy
00:17:54.580 um so alimony gets brought up a lot right and this is another thing where i often hear men
00:18:00.020 they're like women just want to marry you to divorce you so you can take all your money and
00:18:04.500 i'm i'm sitting here thinking one the vast majority of you don't have any money your
00:18:08.980 americans are in debt most most households have two people working there is no money to take and
00:18:14.980 i don't think most people are having to pay alimony at all right and if they do it's pretty
00:18:21.860 for a pretty short time period yes i've only i've only seen alimony in about
00:18:28.820 three or four cases again in my entire career um i'm not an expert on this and and the concept of
00:18:36.260 alimony like their entire law school textbooks written about them in california you can get
00:18:42.580 lifetime alimony and again the way that men will look at this it's not that every woman will 0.68
00:18:51.220 There are good women out there that will not take you to the cleaners,
00:18:55.100 but it's that every woman can. 1.00
00:18:59.240 And even good women, I've seen women that were housewives with seven children
00:19:04.880 that were good wives for 15 years decide one day they get into the wrong friend group.
00:19:10.820 They maybe feel like they missed out on their youth.
00:19:15.880 Whatever the reason is, they change.
00:19:20.340 they've changed their mind and we have a court system that will assist us and pay us to change
00:19:28.340 our minds but uh to oversimplify there are kind of two types of two two broad categories of
00:19:36.180 alimony um in one you will often see like there's a either the parties one of the spouses doesn't
00:19:46.340 want to sell a house or liquidate a business so there's not as much money to liquidate and pay out
00:19:53.940 both spouses uh so instead the uh the spouse is holding on the asset will pay to the other spouse
00:20:02.820 over time so think of it think of it almost like a mortgage or a loan payment or uh the right to
00:20:10.260 keep this marital asset and then that's always by agreement and it's structured that way just
00:20:15.540 because it's the easiest way to handle that without a liquidation sale.
00:20:21.140 And the other instance where there's alimony is basically where one of the spouses is at an economic disadvantage. 0.91
00:20:31.480 That could be a stay-at-home mom who has been at home for the last 15, 20 years, didn't have a career.
00:20:39.700 Their college degree or whatever licensure they had is out of date. 0.99
00:20:44.780 And they can't just walk out the front door one day and get a job, at least something that would support that spouse in the style that they were accustomed to living.
00:20:59.240 So, generally speaking, these types of alimony, either there's a set amount that gets paid, or it's a set amount that's either the payment and the number of payments are set.
00:21:15.700 And it sticks to that.
00:21:17.280 There are very few occasions, very few occasions where long-term or lifelong alimony is imposed on anybody.
00:21:26.940 I, in my personal life, I know of several instances where that was put in place by agreement,
00:21:35.520 but it was not, had they gone to trial, that would not have been working.
00:21:39.880 So, given that factor, what's really happening in the aftermath of divorce?
00:21:44.960 Who's actually faring?
00:21:46.740 So, now what she's trying to say, she's trying to say, no, man, no, no, no, no, no, your problem isn't real.
00:21:56.080 Okay.
00:21:56.940 it's gaslighting it's gaslighting 101 these are the same woman that tell you to open up to them
00:22:02.500 this is how they respond better what does the economic picture look like for people a couple 0.95
00:22:07.060 years out um in the short term i would say that the that the women ex-wives tend to have it rougher
00:22:16.360 than ex-husbands um i think the now why is that why would women i want us to think this through
00:22:25.480 okay why would women have it rougher than ex-husbands i'm gonna i'm gonna listen to this
00:22:32.520 but i want us to think about this all right emotional weight of this hits them a lot sooner
00:22:38.520 um i think for men regret tends to you know age and and expand as as time passes
00:22:47.480 um um oftentimes the husband is usually in starts off in better economic shape
00:22:55.480 uh then then the uh woman does just just again for various various reasons um certainly 0.81
00:23:05.400 the various reasons being even though we make less money we spend more 1.00
00:23:11.640 we make less than men and we make 80 percent of consumer buying decisions
00:23:18.120 there is a reason we never had credit cards okay guys there's a reason they didn't let
00:23:22.520 us have bank accounts because now we own 80 of the world's debt that's why we fare worse economically
00:23:32.680 because even if we have more money even if they give us child support we still have a tendency 1.00
00:23:39.320 to spend it and get into debt she has children that's going to uh get in the way of her ability 1.00
00:23:45.000 to build a career i say get in the way i probably should say impact her ability to uh
00:23:50.600 to to launch a career especially a little bit later in life so over time 1.00
00:23:58.280 though hey women tend women tend to do the work the emotional work of recovering
00:24:05.840 from a divorce I used to I used to no matter who my client was tell them this 0.62
00:24:13.820 is traumatic even if this is a really smooth divorce even if y'all hate each
00:24:18.660 other even if y'all end on good terms there's a traumatic talk to a therapist and uh that is
00:24:27.300 something that i still i still tell all my clients that i usually say it once or twice to my gmail
00:24:33.940 clients i usually hammer it with my nail clients because um i mean i've got it i've got a pretty
00:24:41.380 not a great divorce case right now, where my client has a really solid network of girlfriends
00:24:49.700 and sisters and cousins and a really solid mom. He doesn't need therapy. She just needs to talk
00:24:57.220 to one of them on the phone for a little bit every day. She seems to be doing fine. But men,
00:25:03.380 we tend to think that the way to go through life is with these shaping emotional wounds.
00:25:07.700 men are nine times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce
00:25:14.700 does that sound like better
00:25:20.320 it doesn't get handled and i often see women take the lessons that they learned
00:25:30.060 from a first failed marriage into a second marriage uh with men
00:25:37.000 very not all the time plenty of men do the emotional work very often i see men go in and
00:25:43.860 reinvent the wheel on their second marriage and uh no not reinvent the wheel it's the wrong
00:25:49.320 it's the wrong one to use um they will uh uh repeat history or they will do everything wrong
00:25:57.220 uh that they did in the first marriage and they'll be surprised when it fails again or the same
00:26:05.240 issues arise again um and it's it's einstein's definition of insanity um and the majority of the
00:26:15.340 time they're you know their response is women man what can you do and i i've got an answer to that
00:26:23.200 question they're never they're never they never like do you do you find that men or women tend
00:26:29.600 like remarry faster or move on faster i mean it seems like again this is a statistic versus like
00:26:35.520 you know actual experience but it seems like women are actually less likely to remarry or move
00:26:40.800 on if they have a husband die even whereas men do mostly tend to remarry and do it quite quickly it
00:26:47.520 seems like i think the average of something like two to three years most divorced men are remarried
00:26:51.920 want to say which seems really fast yeah yeah so i would say this i hadn't thought about this so
00:27:01.680 this is interesting the majority of the time when it's the man who's pulling the trigger on the
00:27:07.760 divorce either he has it in his head that without a wife he's going to go get to do the uh swinging
00:27:16.160 bachelor lifestyle and just go play the field and i and that in my experience especially the older
00:27:24.960 oh 0.66
00:27:27.680 we love divorced dads let's just call it a hundred ladies we love we love a man with a kid let's not
00:27:37.360 i'm not saying every guy gets to go be a bachelor but if he goes to the gym
00:27:41.040 him, he's not completely wrecked in the divorce. That's an option. And the thing is they try to
00:27:47.800 convince men that this isn't an option because it removes power from women, right? If men think that 0.94
00:27:53.880 a bachelor life with a bunch of hot young women is attainable, well, they might
00:28:01.760 be much more likely to file. But that's why you see a lot of women and even men at times 1.00
00:28:10.580 convince them that this isn't possible and get that burns them out after a year or two
00:28:16.400 so yeah that'd be about the time they'd be looking to get back into you know domesticity again um
00:28:24.400 or and and i'll probably the majority of the time when the man pulls the trigger
00:28:29.420 there's someone else um but in 100 of the time there's something else he's got some idea that
00:28:37.800 he can be happy or sated or whatever uh outside of the marriage and something else yeah again as
00:28:46.840 far as women go they tend to i i would say the majority of them take a once bitten twice shy 0.96
00:28:53.240 approach to to this so they are again doing the emotional work and part of the emotional work is 0.97
00:29:02.520 figuring out why didn't i see this coming um if you sit there and again go go find the average
00:29:11.960 guy i'm not i'm not saying the thoughtful sensitive guy but the average guy and ask why
00:29:17.160 did your marriage fail and you know he'll sit there and he'll pay lip service you know i could
00:29:23.000 have been better about some things but man i just walk in the door and it'd be one thing after
00:29:28.280 another and and to them the reason the marriage failed is because their wife was there was some
00:29:36.120 problem with their wife you ask them okay so what are you what are you looking for this next time
00:29:42.360 around do not end up with the same type of woman and and and it's crickets talk to the average 0.82
00:29:49.240 woman about two or three years post-divorce probably not right after certainly not right
00:29:54.840 after maybe not for the first couple years um she'll tell you why it went wrong and you'll get
00:30:02.120 almost like a doctoral thesis on what killed that marriage uh so yeah and a huge part of that is is
00:30:12.600 yeah so um they're talking about red flags that they missed and um i've got it but notice it's
00:30:20.280 not where they could improve it's red flags we miss right and what you know what one of my most
00:30:26.920 viral tweets was I tweeted out the steps of a marriage of the average marriage in America in
00:30:35.400 2024 and one of those is what I've heard from many men is after the wedding after they get engaged
00:30:44.200 or after the first kid, the sex stops. And many men fear marriage because they've heard from all
00:30:52.340 of their friends that if they get married, the sex will stop. So what is the incentive? Like if
00:31:00.480 we want men to marry us, there has to be some incentive, especially if we want them to do it 0.74
00:31:07.400 with the state. So what does a man get out of marriage that he doesn't get out of a live-in
00:31:13.840 girlfriend what is the benefit i'm her sister who is a single woman living in virginia and uh she 0.97
00:31:22.760 talks about some of the best counselors for relationship advice uh are are you know women
00:31:31.740 slightly older than her and she's got some good friends that she's gone to for advice in terms of
00:31:38.020 uh who went through a divorce and they're sitting there talking about what went wrong
00:31:42.800 and the ones who didn't go through a divorce
00:31:45.200 are sitting there talking about what went wrong,
00:31:47.760 how they overcame it, and their advice for success.
00:31:52.180 So, yeah, I hadn't,
00:31:55.600 this is not something I've thought about before,
00:31:57.820 but you raise a very good point.
00:32:01.020 Well, I'm going to throw you another curveball,
00:32:02.140 and this is obviously very much just opinion-based, 1.00
00:32:05.140 but would you say most divorces should happen,
00:32:08.000 or do you think that people give up too easily
00:32:10.380 And that, you know, yes, there's problems with the other person.
00:32:13.940 There's problems.
00:32:14.640 I mean, one thing I can say with less than a year of marriage under my belt is marriage
00:32:17.620 is very revealing of your own flaws.
00:32:20.240 It's like constantly having a mirror that you are, you know, having to look into and
00:32:24.040 have your worst parts reflected back.
00:32:26.180 And so I think even the best marriages can be very challenging in that way.
00:32:30.380 But, you know, my parents have been married over 40 years.
00:32:33.140 I have a long legacy of long marriages in my family throughout aunts and uncles and
00:32:37.980 cousins and grandparents.
00:32:39.260 And, you know, I accept marriage is hard and I accept that there are times where you hear stories where like, no, that person absolutely had every right to leave and should have left and, you know, that's valid.
00:32:49.080 But I also feel like our culture has really lost the like spine and gumption that is required to for two people to consistently show up for each other and just decide to make it work and decide to accept challenges as they come as a way to improve themselves.
00:33:08.940 and strengthen their bond, I mean, again, this is totally opinion-based, but, you know, looking at
00:33:13.960 the number of cases you've dealt with, do you often feel like, man, these people really should
00:33:17.860 be able to work this out? Yes, I would say the majority. Now, there's, I've got two cases right
00:33:24.100 now where pretty severe abuse is present, so I'm not going to look at her and go, just,
00:33:29.900 you need to work this out. But I think I said earlier that the leading... Is it real abuse?
00:33:36.660 And this is the problem. We keep changing the definitions of these words. So when he says severe abuse, I don't know what that means. Is that hitting? Is that financial abuse? Is that emotional abuse? What is it?
00:33:53.840 cause of divorces that I see is discontentment on the part of one or the other of the spouses.
00:34:02.300 I think that the concept that the grass is greener on the other side kills a tremendous number
00:34:10.100 of divorces. And the reality almost never measures up to that. So I think probably the
00:34:21.000 the spouse that is doing this the most is the man who is dreaming about some wonderful future
00:34:28.920 without his current wife where he's happy he's sated and um you know he's got no problems because
00:34:37.560 he's got somebody in his life who's cleaning up after him and sleeping with him um the reality
00:34:43.800 almost never manifests itself and i see that if most people who are in that position where they're
00:34:54.360 just dealing with discontentment the marriage can be saved if they're willing to work through that
00:35:01.160 and you know my i get i i often get asked when you're asked which is do women call you know
00:35:08.280 initiate 80 percent of the divorces and again i don't know the answer to that particular statistic
00:35:13.800 But what I do see is you get men who they're usually the ones to raise the idea of divorce
00:35:21.060 first, and they are usually the ones that call it quits on the.
00:35:28.480 According to who?
00:35:30.240 At the end of the day, we value actions, not words.
00:35:35.460 It's one thing to say, I want to get a divorce.
00:35:38.360 It's another thing to do it. 0.77
00:35:40.720 Who filed?
00:35:42.220 Who did it?
00:35:43.800 people can say things people say things all of the time who filed the paperwork and again
00:35:50.920 that's where it's the same concept it's plausible deniability well
00:35:55.400 i only filed because he was gonna file or he said he wanted a divorce or he said he wasn't happy
00:36:03.160 no no we gotta we gotta stick to the facts who filed the marriage saving uh steps so couples
00:36:11.400 counseling therapy uh going on date night more often whatever please don't ever go to therapy
00:36:20.040 i'm not saying there aren't sane therapists there are some good ones okay but
00:36:27.240 every woman i know that was trying to be a therapist in college
00:36:30.600 that shit that crazy i i couldn't i'll just keep going whatever that is um and they go this is just 0.73
00:36:43.960 too hard and you know i have had i have had clients about two or three clients come in 0.82
00:36:52.420 over the course of my practice who have basically said i can't do this anymore
00:36:58.860 and i don't i don't i don't moralize to my clients it doesn't work um no one wants to hear it but
00:37:08.580 you know i will ask there's been several occasions where i've asked these guys questions
00:37:14.640 and just kind of the end result i'm at and this is based on their previous answers the question
00:37:21.100 I've ended with is, are you sure you want to do this? And, you know, they've sat with it and they
00:37:28.860 have said, no, but I feel that I could be happier. Not that they're, they're not even saying that
00:37:38.820 they're unhappy. They could just be happier. And when, when I've asked more pressing questions,
00:37:46.580 the source of their unhappiness is not their wife it's not their kids not their job it is
00:37:53.760 something internal to them and because it's internal to them they have the ability to to
00:38:01.100 strike at the root of that unhappiness and uh kind of work their way through it
00:38:07.060 and sometimes there are instances where um where it you know the other spouse is doing something
00:38:15.120 sometimes you gotta you gotta address that too but um sorry that's a very long-winded way of
00:38:23.440 where i could have just said no i mean i think that's very illuminating you're talking to a
00:38:26.720 lawyer yeah i i think it's very illuminating and it and it's sad okay we're almost to the end of
00:38:33.200 this i think we've covered the majority i want to talk about you know because
00:38:40.240 we see all these cases of men not getting custody, right? That's a common thing that we
00:38:49.640 hear about. But what about when women don't get custody? So I've pulled up a couple articles to 1.00
00:38:57.760 talk about when women, you know, they don't get custody. I'm sure it's for also tough reasons,
00:39:06.960 right? So there's an article from Forbes that talks about when women lose custody. Give me one
00:39:16.380 second guys. So Chicago mother, this is right in my home state of Illinois.
00:39:29.180 Chicago mother loses custody of her daughter for insisting that her daughter is a girl.
00:39:35.120 so again we saw a clip yesterday the men the man loses custody because his wife isn't happy
00:39:42.880 and the woman they lose custody because they want to transition their child
00:39:50.320 Jeanette Cooper never imagined she'd lose custody of her child the 44 year old lifelong educator 0.99
00:39:58.380 always considered herself a loving and responsible mother to her daughter Sophia 0.97
00:40:03.080 But at when age 12, Sophia suddenly claimed to be transgender, Jeanette was skeptical Sophia had
00:40:11.880 never exhibited signs of gender dysphoria. In fact, Sophia exhibited many more traditionally
00:40:18.280 feminine behaviors and preferences than Jeanette ever had. To Jeanette, it didn't make sense.
00:40:24.740 But Sophia insisted not only that she was trans, but that also she was unsafe around Jeanette.
00:40:30.520 What followed was an almost catastrophic series of court proceedings and therapy sessions in which Jeanette's ex-husband's lawyers, therapists, and other individuals and institutions supposedly concerned with Sophia's best interests all work to erode Jeanette's basic parenting rights.
00:40:51.760 Nearly three years later, Jeanette can't even visit the daughter she loves.
00:40:55.480 She lives less than 10 minutes away but can only communicate with Sophia by mail.
00:41:00.520 all because she insists that Sophia is a girl. Finally ready to tell her story,
00:41:08.080 Jeanette is speaking out about how gender ideology has become the latest weapon in 0.98
00:41:13.060 parental custody battles, severing one of the most fundamental bonds in life under the guise 0.82
00:41:21.320 of protecting children. Part one, what is a woman? Jeanette shaves half her hair, but not her legs, 1.00
00:41:28.200 often doesn't wear bras and purchases clothing regardless of whether they're sold in men's or
00:41:33.360 women's departments she jokes that if you subscribe to traditional gender stereotypes
00:41:38.660 she's the one who would think is transgender but that's precisely how Jeanette raised her 0.97
00:41:44.720 daughter outside the confines of traditional sex stereotypes I can't imagine why this woman lost 0.96
00:41:52.120 custody I can't that sounds like the ideal mother I mean that seems right I don't think that there 0.83
00:42:02.140 are any bonds on what is meant to be female other than to exist in a female body Jeanette who lives 0.99
00:42:08.020 in Chicago says there's nothing I have to do to become female I simply am I can dress whatever
00:42:14.300 way I want I can cut my hair off grow it long I can change my clothes I am still female any
00:42:20.620 behavior that I have is female because it's mine. Janet doesn't care for political labels, 1.00
00:42:26.560 but she considers herself a radical feminist and has voted Democrat in every election since she
00:42:31.980 was 18. When addressing the discrepancy between her political beliefs and beliefs on view on sex
00:42:38.920 and gender ideology, Jeanette responded, the difference between liberation and anarchy is a
00:42:47.100 fine lie. When Jeanette and her ex-husband divorced in 2015, the parenting agreement
00:42:53.820 granted Jeanette custody of Sophia six days a week, seven nights a week. While Jeanette admits
00:42:59.520 that Sophia had a hard time with the divorce, she and her daughter were extremely, extremely close
00:43:05.120 homeschooling for a period of time and bonding over board games, vacations to Six Flags and
00:43:12.900 their shared progressive politics. Why does a kid have a political opinion at 12? What is the
00:43:21.180 purpose of that? So on July 22nd, 2019, when Sophia, the then 12 year old went on a regular
00:43:28.960 custody visit to her father's house, Jeanette had no reason to suspect that Sophia would not come
00:43:36.580 home. But at 8.30 p.m. when Jeanette arrived to pick up Sophia, her ex-husband refused to
00:43:42.840 return Sophia to her custody. The next morning, Jeanette for the first time learned that Sophia
00:43:50.280 identified as transgender and did not feel safe in her care. Jeanette could not understand why 0.99
00:43:56.580 she would feel that way. Jeanette says that she always has made it clear to her daughter that she
00:44:01.380 will accept her for who she is but notes that she may have commented in Sophia's presence about news
00:44:07.400 stories regarding teenagers who seek to transition expressing her view that many of these kids need
00:44:13.000 to just find a way to be comfortable in their bodies and find people who appreciated them for
00:44:17.960 their unique personalities not to identify outside of sex after eight days of her ex-husband violating 1.00
00:44:24.760 their parenting agreement Jeanette filed an emergency petition to have her daughter return
00:44:29.960 to her custody. Sophia's father responded in court documents alleging that due to
00:44:37.880 burgeoning adolescence and awakening awareness of self, Sophia was no longer mentally or
00:44:45.480 emotionally safe in her home. He asked for all the parenting time, all the decision-making authority,
00:44:51.880 and requested that the court prohibit Jeanette from seeing and communicating with Sophia
00:44:56.680 unless he and a court-ordered child representative agreed. The court sided with Jeanette's ex-husband
00:45:03.200 pending an investigation. Distraught and desperate to see her daughter, Jeanette put aside her 0.63
00:45:09.240 beliefs and wrote to Sophia in a three-page affirmation letter addressing her daughter's
00:45:13.800 chosen name, Ash. I have forced my brain to accept the reality that was presented to me, Jeanette
00:45:20.100 said. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. The letter not only failed to bring her daughter
00:45:25.280 back, Jeanette was told that she shouldn't have written it at all. I didn't understand that.
00:45:31.260 And that kind of woke me up to what was happening. Jeanette believed that Sophia's new stepmother,
00:45:36.660 a licensed psychotherapist, had encouraged Sophia to separate from Jeanette. Little by little,
00:45:41.960 piece by piece, Jeanette said her daughter's stepmother helped orchestrate a custody change
00:45:47.880 under the auspice of saving Sophia. Three years later, Sophia still presents as feminine as she
00:45:56.420 always has, but goes by the name Ash using preferred pronouns. Under the temporary court
00:46:01.580 order issued after Sophia first claimed to be transgender, Jeanette was only allowed to see
00:46:06.260 her daughter if she attended reconciliation family therapy, which has a specific goal of
00:46:12.420 recon reconciling an alienated child and parent. Jeanette said she was looking forward to it. The
00:46:18.800 only thing she objected to was the requirement that her ex-husband's wife be included, which
00:46:23.400 gave Sophia's stepmom access to everything that happened during family therapy, including Jeanette's
00:46:28.720 private sessions with Sophia. Jeanette told the therapist she didn't consent to the arrangement,
00:46:33.760 but according to Jeanette, the therapist said if Jeanette didn't consent, she wouldn't be able to
00:46:38.480 see her daughter thus there if I I was told that if I didn't agree to have the stepmom there
00:46:44.580 then my child was refusing to see me Jeanette said I had no choice I wanted to see her so badly
00:46:49.800 the therapy sessions were unsuccessful at reconciling the strained relationship despite
00:46:55.140 that she believed the nightmare would end soon so remember guys men go through this all the time
00:47:03.220 and they don't get articles you know written about it but when a woman goes through it
00:47:09.540 article or except on my channel right so essentially
00:47:14.940 she wanted to transition her child and the dad had a problem with that and this is really what 0.87
00:47:27.360 you get this is I mean this is crazy this is insane yeah can we stop telling women that they're 0.98
00:47:39.740 all good loving moms it's just not true it's not true but anyways guys I just wanted to have a quick 1.00
00:47:49.560 show today so I think that's all I got for you guys today let me know what you guys think in
00:47:55.740 the comments make sure you like the video on your way out subscribe to the channel like the video
00:48:01.360 and I'll talk what oh thank you for reminding me um next week we're switching to three o'clock so
00:48:08.520 I'll see you guys at three o'clock central instead of five o'clock central go to the
00:48:11.740 audacitynetwork.com to sign up and I will see you next week
00:48:25.740 Thank you.