00:19:20.340they've changed their mind and we have a court system that will assist us and pay us to change
00:19:28.340our minds but uh to oversimplify there are kind of two types of two two broad categories of
00:19:36.180alimony um in one you will often see like there's a either the parties one of the spouses doesn't
00:19:46.340want to sell a house or liquidate a business so there's not as much money to liquidate and pay out
00:19:53.940both spouses uh so instead the uh the spouse is holding on the asset will pay to the other spouse
00:20:02.820over time so think of it think of it almost like a mortgage or a loan payment or uh the right to
00:20:10.260keep this marital asset and then that's always by agreement and it's structured that way just
00:20:15.540because it's the easiest way to handle that without a liquidation sale.
00:20:21.140And the other instance where there's alimony is basically where one of the spouses is at an economic disadvantage.
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00:20:31.480That could be a stay-at-home mom who has been at home for the last 15, 20 years, didn't have a career.
00:20:39.700Their college degree or whatever licensure they had is out of date.
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00:20:44.780And they can't just walk out the front door one day and get a job, at least something that would support that spouse in the style that they were accustomed to living.
00:20:59.240So, generally speaking, these types of alimony, either there's a set amount that gets paid, or it's a set amount that's either the payment and the number of payments are set.
00:32:39.260And, you know, I accept marriage is hard and I accept that there are times where you hear stories where like, no, that person absolutely had every right to leave and should have left and, you know, that's valid.
00:32:49.080But I also feel like our culture has really lost the like spine and gumption that is required to for two people to consistently show up for each other and just decide to make it work and decide to accept challenges as they come as a way to improve themselves.
00:33:08.940and strengthen their bond, I mean, again, this is totally opinion-based, but, you know, looking at
00:33:13.960the number of cases you've dealt with, do you often feel like, man, these people really should
00:33:17.860be able to work this out? Yes, I would say the majority. Now, there's, I've got two cases right
00:33:24.100now where pretty severe abuse is present, so I'm not going to look at her and go, just,
00:33:29.900you need to work this out. But I think I said earlier that the leading... Is it real abuse?
00:33:36.660And this is the problem. We keep changing the definitions of these words. So when he says severe abuse, I don't know what that means. Is that hitting? Is that financial abuse? Is that emotional abuse? What is it?
00:33:53.840cause of divorces that I see is discontentment on the part of one or the other of the spouses.
00:34:02.300I think that the concept that the grass is greener on the other side kills a tremendous number
00:34:10.100of divorces. And the reality almost never measures up to that. So I think probably the
00:34:21.000the spouse that is doing this the most is the man who is dreaming about some wonderful future
00:34:28.920without his current wife where he's happy he's sated and um you know he's got no problems because
00:34:37.560he's got somebody in his life who's cleaning up after him and sleeping with him um the reality
00:34:43.800almost never manifests itself and i see that if most people who are in that position where they're
00:34:54.360just dealing with discontentment the marriage can be saved if they're willing to work through that
00:35:01.160and you know my i get i i often get asked when you're asked which is do women call you know
00:35:08.280initiate 80 percent of the divorces and again i don't know the answer to that particular statistic
00:35:13.800But what I do see is you get men who they're usually the ones to raise the idea of divorce
00:35:21.060first, and they are usually the ones that call it quits on the.
00:35:43.800people can say things people say things all of the time who filed the paperwork and again
00:35:50.920that's where it's the same concept it's plausible deniability well
00:35:55.400i only filed because he was gonna file or he said he wanted a divorce or he said he wasn't happy
00:36:03.160no no we gotta we gotta stick to the facts who filed the marriage saving uh steps so couples
00:36:11.400counseling therapy uh going on date night more often whatever please don't ever go to therapy
00:36:20.040i'm not saying there aren't sane therapists there are some good ones okay but
00:36:27.240every woman i know that was trying to be a therapist in college
00:36:30.600that shit that crazy i i couldn't i'll just keep going whatever that is um and they go this is just
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00:36:43.960too hard and you know i have had i have had clients about two or three clients come in
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00:36:52.420over the course of my practice who have basically said i can't do this anymore
00:36:58.860and i don't i don't i don't moralize to my clients it doesn't work um no one wants to hear it but
00:37:08.580you know i will ask there's been several occasions where i've asked these guys questions
00:37:14.640and just kind of the end result i'm at and this is based on their previous answers the question
00:37:21.100I've ended with is, are you sure you want to do this? And, you know, they've sat with it and they
00:37:28.860have said, no, but I feel that I could be happier. Not that they're, they're not even saying that
00:37:38.820they're unhappy. They could just be happier. And when, when I've asked more pressing questions,
00:37:46.580the source of their unhappiness is not their wife it's not their kids not their job it is
00:37:53.760something internal to them and because it's internal to them they have the ability to to
00:38:01.100strike at the root of that unhappiness and uh kind of work their way through it
00:38:07.060and sometimes there are instances where um where it you know the other spouse is doing something
00:38:15.120sometimes you gotta you gotta address that too but um sorry that's a very long-winded way of
00:38:23.440where i could have just said no i mean i think that's very illuminating you're talking to a
00:38:26.720lawyer yeah i i think it's very illuminating and it and it's sad okay we're almost to the end of
00:38:33.200this i think we've covered the majority i want to talk about you know because
00:38:40.240we see all these cases of men not getting custody, right? That's a common thing that we
00:38:49.640hear about. But what about when women don't get custody? So I've pulled up a couple articles to
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00:38:57.760talk about when women, you know, they don't get custody. I'm sure it's for also tough reasons,
00:39:06.960right? So there's an article from Forbes that talks about when women lose custody. Give me one
00:39:16.380second guys. So Chicago mother, this is right in my home state of Illinois.
00:39:29.180Chicago mother loses custody of her daughter for insisting that her daughter is a girl.
00:39:35.120so again we saw a clip yesterday the men the man loses custody because his wife isn't happy
00:39:42.880and the woman they lose custody because they want to transition their child
00:39:50.320Jeanette Cooper never imagined she'd lose custody of her child the 44 year old lifelong educator
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00:39:58.380always considered herself a loving and responsible mother to her daughter Sophia
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00:40:03.080But at when age 12, Sophia suddenly claimed to be transgender, Jeanette was skeptical Sophia had
00:40:11.880never exhibited signs of gender dysphoria. In fact, Sophia exhibited many more traditionally
00:40:18.280feminine behaviors and preferences than Jeanette ever had. To Jeanette, it didn't make sense.
00:40:24.740But Sophia insisted not only that she was trans, but that also she was unsafe around Jeanette.
00:40:30.520What followed was an almost catastrophic series of court proceedings and therapy sessions in which Jeanette's ex-husband's lawyers, therapists, and other individuals and institutions supposedly concerned with Sophia's best interests all work to erode Jeanette's basic parenting rights.
00:40:51.760Nearly three years later, Jeanette can't even visit the daughter she loves.
00:40:55.480She lives less than 10 minutes away but can only communicate with Sophia by mail.
00:41:00.520all because she insists that Sophia is a girl. Finally ready to tell her story,
00:41:08.080Jeanette is speaking out about how gender ideology has become the latest weapon in
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00:41:13.060parental custody battles, severing one of the most fundamental bonds in life under the guise
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00:41:21.320of protecting children. Part one, what is a woman? Jeanette shaves half her hair, but not her legs,
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00:41:28.200often doesn't wear bras and purchases clothing regardless of whether they're sold in men's or
00:41:33.360women's departments she jokes that if you subscribe to traditional gender stereotypes
00:41:38.660she's the one who would think is transgender but that's precisely how Jeanette raised her
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00:41:44.720daughter outside the confines of traditional sex stereotypes I can't imagine why this woman lost
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00:41:52.120custody I can't that sounds like the ideal mother I mean that seems right I don't think that there
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00:42:02.140are any bonds on what is meant to be female other than to exist in a female body Jeanette who lives
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00:42:08.020in Chicago says there's nothing I have to do to become female I simply am I can dress whatever
00:42:14.300way I want I can cut my hair off grow it long I can change my clothes I am still female any
00:42:20.620behavior that I have is female because it's mine. Janet doesn't care for political labels,
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00:42:26.560but she considers herself a radical feminist and has voted Democrat in every election since she
00:42:31.980was 18. When addressing the discrepancy between her political beliefs and beliefs on view on sex
00:42:38.920and gender ideology, Jeanette responded, the difference between liberation and anarchy is a
00:42:47.100fine lie. When Jeanette and her ex-husband divorced in 2015, the parenting agreement
00:42:53.820granted Jeanette custody of Sophia six days a week, seven nights a week. While Jeanette admits
00:42:59.520that Sophia had a hard time with the divorce, she and her daughter were extremely, extremely close
00:43:05.120homeschooling for a period of time and bonding over board games, vacations to Six Flags and
00:43:12.900their shared progressive politics. Why does a kid have a political opinion at 12? What is the
00:43:21.180purpose of that? So on July 22nd, 2019, when Sophia, the then 12 year old went on a regular
00:43:28.960custody visit to her father's house, Jeanette had no reason to suspect that Sophia would not come
00:43:36.580home. But at 8.30 p.m. when Jeanette arrived to pick up Sophia, her ex-husband refused to
00:43:42.840return Sophia to her custody. The next morning, Jeanette for the first time learned that Sophia
00:43:50.280identified as transgender and did not feel safe in her care. Jeanette could not understand why
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00:43:56.580she would feel that way. Jeanette says that she always has made it clear to her daughter that she
00:44:01.380will accept her for who she is but notes that she may have commented in Sophia's presence about news
00:44:07.400stories regarding teenagers who seek to transition expressing her view that many of these kids need
00:44:13.000to just find a way to be comfortable in their bodies and find people who appreciated them for
00:44:17.960their unique personalities not to identify outside of sex after eight days of her ex-husband violating
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00:44:24.760their parenting agreement Jeanette filed an emergency petition to have her daughter return
00:44:29.960to her custody. Sophia's father responded in court documents alleging that due to
00:44:37.880burgeoning adolescence and awakening awareness of self, Sophia was no longer mentally or
00:44:45.480emotionally safe in her home. He asked for all the parenting time, all the decision-making authority,
00:44:51.880and requested that the court prohibit Jeanette from seeing and communicating with Sophia
00:44:56.680unless he and a court-ordered child representative agreed. The court sided with Jeanette's ex-husband
00:45:03.200pending an investigation. Distraught and desperate to see her daughter, Jeanette put aside her
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00:45:09.240beliefs and wrote to Sophia in a three-page affirmation letter addressing her daughter's
00:45:13.800chosen name, Ash. I have forced my brain to accept the reality that was presented to me, Jeanette
00:45:20.100said. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. The letter not only failed to bring her daughter
00:45:25.280back, Jeanette was told that she shouldn't have written it at all. I didn't understand that.
00:45:31.260And that kind of woke me up to what was happening. Jeanette believed that Sophia's new stepmother,
00:45:36.660a licensed psychotherapist, had encouraged Sophia to separate from Jeanette. Little by little,
00:45:41.960piece by piece, Jeanette said her daughter's stepmother helped orchestrate a custody change
00:45:47.880under the auspice of saving Sophia. Three years later, Sophia still presents as feminine as she
00:45:56.420always has, but goes by the name Ash using preferred pronouns. Under the temporary court
00:46:01.580order issued after Sophia first claimed to be transgender, Jeanette was only allowed to see
00:46:06.260her daughter if she attended reconciliation family therapy, which has a specific goal of
00:46:12.420recon reconciling an alienated child and parent. Jeanette said she was looking forward to it. The
00:46:18.800only thing she objected to was the requirement that her ex-husband's wife be included, which
00:46:23.400gave Sophia's stepmom access to everything that happened during family therapy, including Jeanette's
00:46:28.720private sessions with Sophia. Jeanette told the therapist she didn't consent to the arrangement,
00:46:33.760but according to Jeanette, the therapist said if Jeanette didn't consent, she wouldn't be able to
00:46:38.480see her daughter thus there if I I was told that if I didn't agree to have the stepmom there
00:46:44.580then my child was refusing to see me Jeanette said I had no choice I wanted to see her so badly
00:46:49.800the therapy sessions were unsuccessful at reconciling the strained relationship despite
00:46:55.140that she believed the nightmare would end soon so remember guys men go through this all the time
00:47:03.220and they don't get articles you know written about it but when a woman goes through it
00:47:09.540article or except on my channel right so essentially
00:47:14.940she wanted to transition her child and the dad had a problem with that and this is really what
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00:47:27.360you get this is I mean this is crazy this is insane yeah can we stop telling women that they're
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00:47:39.740all good loving moms it's just not true it's not true but anyways guys I just wanted to have a quick
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00:47:49.560show today so I think that's all I got for you guys today let me know what you guys think in
00:47:55.740the comments make sure you like the video on your way out subscribe to the channel like the video
00:48:01.360and I'll talk what oh thank you for reminding me um next week we're switching to three o'clock so
00:48:08.520I'll see you guys at three o'clock central instead of five o'clock central go to the
00:48:11.740audacitynetwork.com to sign up and I will see you next week