Pearl - She Got the “Provider Husband” She Wanted… Then LEFT Him

00:00:00.240 all right what's up guys welcome to my reaction series uh today uh you know i've been talking

00:00:05.120 about how there's no such thing as a traditional wife and um it's because women even if we are

00:00:10.400 traditional it's for now right now and today we're gonna watch this woman talk about how she was a

00:00:15.120 traditional wife and then she changed her mind on a time i was also we are doing an event in dallas

00:00:20.400 um october 2nd and 3rd please sign up i would love to see you guys there uh the links in the

00:00:25.760 description i'll see you at home wife i was married at 19 and i have since then gotten divorced

00:00:32.080 i'm divorced and i have a job i will tell you my story i will tell you my story and what went down

00:00:37.360 and why i'm so concerned for like this trend going on of specifically 19 year olds they're always 19

00:00:44.160 getting married so young no college degree no job they'll pump out a baby in a year

00:00:49.280 let's talk about it and by the way i'm fairly sure the biggest divorce rate is under 20. 1.00

00:00:53.440 and this is why she's gonna probably go into the psychology but when women get married too young

00:00:58.000 we feel like we missed out and we did miss out in a lot of ways because women will never have 1.00

00:01:01.280 more attention and power than in the cities as a young woman because you'll get access to men

00:01:05.760 you'll never get access to again in your life one how did i find myself in the situation okay

00:01:11.760 so when i was young i was like crazy boy crazy like very male-centered very pick me that's how

00:01:18.880 i was when i was young okay i don't think anyone really clocked that i don't think anyone really

00:01:22.960 clocked how much i really was boy crazy because i wasn't going around being like i love boys

00:01:26.660 my life purpose is to be married to one i wasn't saying that obviously i was just very very 0.51

00:01:30.640 that's again why men like younger women because it's way better to be with a woman that's obsessed

00:01:34.940 with you than a woman that you know is de-centering men that's what you get when we get older

00:01:38.620 it was my dream to be married there was nothing i wanted more in my whole life than to be a wife

00:01:44.120 and mother okay and keep in mind i grew up christian i still am christian but i grew up

00:01:48.940 christian and so when a little girl says like i want to be a wife and mother that's so important

00:01:52.360 to me who is going to look you dead in your eyes and tell you like that's not a good goal to have

00:01:55.560 and i still do think that's a fine goal to have but also you should have additional goals to your

00:01:59.680 wife and mother goal so no one was clocking how boy crazy i was it just kind of like festered in

00:02:03.580 my journals and in my shadows like i need to find someone who loves me loves me so much and that

00:02:09.060 will be like my ultimate goal there's nothing else that's more important so i was in a very

00:02:14.200 small community i was like homeschooled for high school i like worked at chick-fil-a i did musical

00:02:18.500 theater but i wasn't in contact with like cute attractive boys that i could potentially want to

00:02:22.940 date so when i was at the ripe age of 17 and a half i downloaded tinder now keep in mind i did

00:02:28.900 not know tinder was a hookup app tinder was just the only dating app i was aware of so i downloaded

00:02:34.580 tinder i match with a boy a nice tall boy do we believe that she didn't know it was a hookup app

00:02:40.320 no but simps will right posing in front of a waterfall right there right there in front of

00:02:44.920 my eyes and i message him and i say our children would be nba basketball players so i message him

00:02:50.260 we get to talking we meet up for you know coffee that first boy that i went out on a date with

00:02:55.740 ultimately became my husband let me tell you there were issues right from the beginning right from

00:03:01.240 the beginning he was like not a very good boyfriend i remember probably like five months

00:03:04.220 and i was like you aren't romantic enough anymore like you used to take me out on dates and stuff

00:03:08.060 but you've just like stopped planning stuff like that and he's like you're making me feel like a

00:03:12.480 bad boyfriend and i was like oh my gosh i'm sorry i don't make you feel that so again she starts

00:03:16.980 complaining and nagging and bitching and being insufferable and then when we get older we

00:03:22.160 rationalize the insufferability where when we're young we say oh t i'm sorry that's why men like 0.61

00:03:27.360 the younger women i can understand it there's occasional women that you know mature and grow

00:03:32.140 but usually not you know it's not really what we do way just i had no point of reference for

00:03:37.720 relationships like this is my first serious relationship and that's a thing in your first

00:03:41.640 serious relationship you will let the most like bonkers banana stuff slide and see that's what

00:03:47.460 men want you to let the most bonkers banana stuff slide as opposed to letting nothing slide that's

00:03:53.860 what i mean we just negotiate how insufferable we can be throughout time so you just don't have a

00:03:58.860 point of reference for what relationships are supposed to look like and keep in mind and it's

00:04:02.200 my parents are it's because in a way we have more power and experience and experience um is more

00:04:07.280 manipulation power so happy happily and healthily married i have good examples of marriage in my

00:04:13.600 life very close and personal to me that is not enough to know what a good relationship should

00:04:18.440 look like like you if you're stubborn like i am you need boots on the ground when women say they 0.50

00:04:23.660 have a good relationship with their parents usually the dad's still a simp and just gives

00:04:27.600 the mother whatever she wants so she's usually never been corrected or disciplined in her life

00:04:31.380 so like here's what i will and will not tolerate but i didn't have that experience i only had dated

00:04:35.180 to like one other person in high school and it was like a very like cutesy hold hands we dated

00:04:38.720 for a year never even kissed i doubt it so there was never any kind of like tension there was never

00:04:44.040 any kind of depth there that would cause me to have more experience so anyways i get to dating

00:04:48.500 this boy and we're christian and we don't want to do premarital sex we did but we don't want to 0.59

00:04:56.060 so what's the solution here you get married quick a lot of these stay-at-home wives they might not

00:04:59.680 come out and say they're religious but like basically all of them are religious if you're 1.00

00:05:03.680 sleeping with someone there is no reason to not wait a few more years before like immediately

00:05:07.760 locking it down there are a couple reasons we're not going to get into them that's like the main

00:05:11.200 reason is like okay i can't sleep with you or live with you so like let's lock it down right now and

00:05:14.720 to my christian girls that don't want to have premarital let me tell you something you should

00:05:19.840 not rush into marriage just because you really want to have sex so we're young we're in love i

00:05:25.120 have no point of reference for like how good a relationship can be so i'm just in this kind of

00:05:29.520 bad one thinking like yeah whatever i'll lock it down crack started to show really really quickly

00:05:35.040 i remember like that we got married in october i remember that first winter we were married together

00:05:39.360 it was home alone at this point like i i was like in college i dropped out shortly after marrying

00:05:43.680 him my car stopped working so i couldn't get to class i couldn't go see my family no one could

00:05:47.840 come pick me up i was just like home alone isolated and like the only interaction i was

00:05:51.200 having was with my husband and it was just so miserable we were fighting all the time 0.99

00:05:54.640 and i remember thinking to myself like if this is what married yeah that's the problem so women 0.96

00:05:58.720 get bored and stay-at-home wives it used to be a full-time job now it's not so now when you have 1.00

00:06:03.920 a stay-at-home wife her only job is to be insufferable to you so then they just have all 1.00

00:06:08.240 day to be insufferable where at least you know the insufferability is divided amongst people 1.00

00:06:13.680 if you have her working and doing stuff at least she could be insufferable somewhere else it just

00:06:17.680 actually like like i can't do it like i know like marriage is hard and i'm willing to fight for it

00:06:21.040 and i don't want to divorce him like we just got married of course i want to be with him forever

00:06:23.600 i'm with him because i want to be with him forever but i remember thinking to myself like

00:06:27.440 if this is what marriage is like then i can't do this forever regardless of whether it's a

00:06:32.560 sin against god or not like i cannot do this forever and i made a promise to myself that's 0.82

00:06:36.320 what i mean women don't have morals i mean she's like but you know she's thinking but god and then 0.53

00:06:42.640 you know she gets to thinking and she's like well who cares i said if the marriage is still like

00:06:47.600 this by the time i'm 23 i will leave it even if i'm not being abused and if he's not cheating on

00:06:51.920 me if it's just miserable to be with him i will leave him 23 was just an arbitrary number like

00:06:55.840 Like it was just like that felt like far enough away.

00:06:58.240 Cause keep in mind, I was like turned 20 at this point.

00:07:00.240 It felt like far enough away that it wasn't like you're gonna have to divorce next year.

00:07:03.980 But it also felt like that's young enough that I can start over if I had to.

00:07:06.980 I won't be so old that people- 1.00

00:07:08.160 Women plan divorces years in advance. 1.00

00:07:09.940 Don't love me anymore. 1.00

00:07:11.120 But that was my arbitrary number.

00:07:12.280 What happened next?

00:07:13.600 Well, we moved across the country.

00:07:15.600 Cause keep in mind, I'm a good submissive Christian wife. 1.00

00:07:18.700 Usually when they're moving a lot, the woman is pushing the move. 0.96

00:07:22.760 The men don't want to move because men like to stay in the same place. 1.00

00:07:25.320 so one way you can tell who runs the relationship if they're moving a lot it's usually the bitches 1.00

00:07:29.720 those are moving cross-country i mean i did want to move cross-country i can't put all the blame 0.96

00:07:32.540 on him i thought it was really exciting like we lived in new mexico for a while and then nevada

00:07:35.560 for a while but ultimately we were there for a long time like the majority of our marriage was

00:07:39.400 not in our hometown in our home state like originally initially like i did want to move

00:07:43.380 out there and it's like all fun and exciting and novel to be out west after about two years of that

00:07:48.060 i was and then she changed her mind as we do you know we want things for now right now at the

00:07:52.540 moment lose my mind and i wanted to come back to tennessee so badly i wanted to come i hated the

00:07:58.240 town we were in i hated the relationship that i was in but i imagine if she had a kid then she 1.00

00:08:02.520 could have stolen it you know leave that's that's the problem when you get bitches you get bitches 1.00

00:08:07.800 away from their hometown you know like i was just stuck there with him there was nothing i could do 1.00

00:08:14.160 you know it was like he was keeping me there against my will but just like the practicalities 1.00

00:08:17.680 of like you're married because instead of being honest with herself that's the hard thing women 1.00

00:08:21.600 are lazy. And taking the social fallout, she decided to do the easy thing, which is lie. 1.00

00:08:27.840 To someone and their work is in Nevada, you can't just leave them. You're married. A lot of stay

00:08:34.380 at home wives are just like, oh, well, if you pick the right person well enough, then nothing bad can 1.00

00:08:39.020 ever happen to you. Okay. He was a good Christian boy. I was a good Christian girl. He wanted to be 1.00

00:08:44.380 a provider husband. He didn't make me be a stay at home wife. That was a choice I chose to make.

00:08:48.840 Though I worked a little bit off and on when we were married, I worked as a personal assistant

00:08:52.260 when we first moved to New Mexico. Then I worked as a physical therapy technician. I worked as a

00:08:55.820 bank teller. I've had a lot of odd jobs over my time. Ultimately, the bank teller position I worked

00:08:59.980 was awful. That was my first time ever working proper full-time. And working full-time is really

00:09:04.220 hard. It's really hard, especially for the first time. Everyone I've ever known, their first full-time

00:09:08.900 job is like, oh my god, this is what being an adult is like? This? Forever? Until I, lord

00:09:15.440 willing to retire. Yeah. That's what I mean. Women like the status of being married, but not the

00:09:19.340 work. See, not the boringness. So it was terrible. It was terrible. And also job I was working at 1.00

00:09:26.920 the time, like my coworkers were just like miserable, terrible people to be around.

00:09:31.060 So I come to my husband. I'm like, Hey, I hate this job. My coworkers hate me. Can I be a stay 0.71

00:09:37.060 at home wife? And I'll like cookie three times, like cookie meals three times a day. And he's

00:09:40.200 like sure yeah i text my boss the next morning i'm not coming in bye see a sucker so that's when i

00:09:47.080 started being a stay-at-home wife what did my days look like well eventually i got a dog so here's

00:09:51.680 what my days looked like the last like year of our marriage i would wake up scroll tiktok for an hour

00:09:55.700 walk my dog for like an hour or two like off-leash hikes go to the gym i'd cook for my husband do the

00:10:01.460 house cleaning whatever yada yada yada go to laundromat all the things i had to do so bored

00:10:05.720 too. The actual household activities, not including the laundromat, because that always

00:10:10.080 takes like about an hour, would take me about like two hours a day, like max. 0.91

00:10:13.980 This is her. That's the problem. She should have been doing more. 0.99

00:10:17.040 That's like doing heavy duty cleaning. So what did I do in the afternoon? Well,

00:10:20.240 I have a lot of hobbies. I'd start working on the hobbies, but you know what? I'm still in a

00:10:24.480 really miserable relationship. So I started drinking, drinking a lot.

00:10:28.820 And then, you know, thinking about how she could torture him when he got home.

00:10:31.280 that's how you know i'm a real trad wife real d1 trad wife right here real real traditional women

00:10:36.560 abuse substances while they're home alone hey i started drinking heavily he started drinking

00:10:41.200 heavily we were both really miserable he's a very um bless him bless him no beef we're still buddies

00:10:45.920 but he was a very very neglectful husband just like would not pay attention to me bruh you got

00:10:52.320 to stay at home and do nothing all day he was neglectful i hate when i hate my gender this is 0.59

00:10:57.440 what i mean lazy like we're just lazy and didn't want you could have become a professional like

00:11:02.000 chef in a year you know want to talk to me and told me to not talk to him and like wouldn't touch me

00:11:06.880 or look at me or compliment me or take me out yeah this came to a head when we um went back to

00:11:13.600 tennessee for christmas we took a month off like about every year to just go back to tennessee and

00:11:18.560 we decided to divorce some information came out about him since he's a real person with a real

00:11:23.120 life and i don't want to like smear his good name i'm not going to tell you like the details of like

00:11:26.800 exactly how it went down but rest assured i found out things about his character that were a hard

00:11:31.680 line for me yeah he's gonna phrase it as if she's the good person he's the bad person line for many 0.98

00:11:36.800 other people so then we divorced and let me tell you something a lot of women are content being a 0.82

00:11:44.320 man's counterpart and a man's sidekick because they have made no accomplishments of their own 0.99

00:11:49.600 they've never finished college they've never i think a lot of women want to be stay-at-home 1.00

00:11:53.120 wives because they're lazy i think there are women that love kids and want to do it for that fact but 0.72

00:11:57.360 i just haven't met them i think i met one i knew one from my hometown and that's it really 1.00

00:12:01.360 accomplished anything at a job they never worked a job that they really wanted to work they never

00:12:04.480 succeeded in any field other than being most of the women i knew that wanted to be stay-at-home 1.00

00:12:09.120 moms were lazy because again you can't assume a woman wants to do something for the right reason 0.89

00:12:14.640 it's usually for the wrong reason is helper so of course like that comfortability sounds very 0.98

00:12:20.400 appealing. And I've talked about this before. The reason women want to be young stay-at-home wives,

00:12:26.920 and I want to be very clear, I'm not talking about stay-at-home mothers. That's like a separate 0.98

00:12:29.820 topic. There's some overlap in stay-at-home wives and stay-at-home mothers, but I'm not talking

00:12:33.300 about stay-at-home mothers specifically right now. I'm talking about the bum, jobless stay-at-home 1.00

00:12:37.700 wives. The reason they want to be stay-at-home wives and have like a provider husband is because 1.00

00:12:42.380 they're- I do agree with that. I used to think it was just leftist women being bitter, but the 0.83

00:12:48.660 older i get the more i'm like i think they got a point scared of becoming adults they're scared of

00:12:54.500 trying to be competent they're scared of trying to figure out how am i going to pay rent how do i file

00:12:58.820 taxes how do i make a resume they are scared of taking on those responsibilities so they're like

00:13:03.380 i'm going to delegate that onto someone else and let me tell you the provider husband also has like

00:13:08.820 this peter pan syndrome i don't want to be an adult either because you know what he doesn't

00:13:12.180 want to make his wife be an adult that's what it is it's a lot of times they don't they say they're

00:13:17.940 you know they have authority but it's kind of like the guy that says he's the king is he really the

00:13:22.180 king they can't talk to their wife in a stern voice and they're still afraid of her emotions

00:13:26.260 have to do mop the floors cook and clean pick their socks up off the floor figure out where

00:13:32.020 the laundromat is and go there if you're not willing to take on the responsibilities of being

00:13:36.420 adult because this will all competent adults competent adults have to do is cook and clean

00:13:41.140 and go to work if you're trying to delegate any of these three things entirely onto your partner

00:13:46.020 and you're just like young married people that is you trying to escape the burden of being an adult

00:13:52.480 and let me tell you you are the only person who suffers when you refuse to become competent when

00:13:59.100 you refuse to try and lean into that i remember when i was married i had a real itch in me i have

00:14:05.080 a lot of talents i wouldn't say i'm a master or anything and i'm not an expert in anything

00:14:08.640 but i'm very art you're a woman so that's expected i'm a good speaker i'm a good writer

00:14:13.820 I'm musical I'm very passionate people you're a mediocre speaker people like to listen to me they

00:14:19.420 like to hear me talk and I could just feel those talents that I was born with like burning inside

00:14:26.440 of me like all of these skills and abilities that I have they're good for nothing in this context

00:14:31.840 because if your only existence is being a counterpart to someone else you will never 1.00

00:14:36.460 reach your full here it is it's the women are bored because now being a stay-at-home wife 1.00

00:14:42.200 isn't a full-time job now if i was a stay-at-home wife i would find i would make cooking my hobby 0.99

00:14:48.620 that i get obsessed with and find the most useless way to do things to take them sorry but you see 0.88

00:14:55.460 what i mean you know women we just can't do that potential and i'm not saying your talents have to

00:15:00.780 be in service of some giant corporation that doesn't care if you got hit by a bus i'm saying

00:15:04.960 your talent should be in service of you and your life and your goals and when you're a counterpart

00:15:11.240 heart, you can never reach that potential. And I feel like a lot of stay at home wives, like 0.92

00:15:15.060 since a lot of them grew up in like the Christian conservative bubble, they like don't even really 1.00

00:15:19.720 know what feminism is or how it benefits them. So if you just say like, hey, you're a broke loser 1.00

00:15:24.560 bum spitting on the graves of your feminist ancestors, they're like, well, I didn't care 1.00

00:15:28.520 about those hoes anyway, you know? So it's like not really helpful to tell them like, yo, 1.00

00:15:33.400 this is anti-feminist of you because they don't care. They don't care. I still am a Christian. 0.63

00:15:38.060 i still am religious my life improved so much spiritually i doubt it am i really i mean she 0.83

00:15:44.620 became a whore relationship with god in my ability and willingness to engage with christian practices 0.76

00:15:50.060 like going to church reading the bible since i divorced that man because when you are found a 1.00

00:15:53.980 social club basically that doesn't enforce anything and there's no standards so she could

00:15:57.980 join it really miserable i want to it's really hard to want to engage with god you know like you

00:16:03.980 don't want to be alive so you don't want to do any of the practices you know you ought to be doing

00:16:07.180 But, like, my health, my spirituality, my friendships, my career, like, across every possible level, my life improved.

00:16:14.260 And I'm not going to say it's the will of God that I divorced my husband.

00:16:16.720 I don't know. 0.99

00:16:17.920 I think we could debate that all the live long day, whether God ever wills divorce, because, like, the Catholics will burn you at the stake for saying that. 0.99

00:16:23.820 I don't know. 1.00

00:16:24.280 I don't know.

00:16:24.860 But what I do know is that God is, like, the ultimate redeemer of broken things.

00:16:30.120 And my life has been very, very, very redeemed.

00:16:32.700 If you're a stay-at-home wife.

00:16:33.560 Yeah, all right. 1.00

00:16:34.400 So anyways, she wants to whore out and she got into marriage and didn't realize how much 1.00

00:16:38.520 she wanted to be a whore instead. 1.00

00:16:39.860 Happens to the best of us. 1.00

00:16:40.980 I love you, girl. 1.00

00:16:42.420 I wish you luck on your whore journey. 1.00

00:16:44.980 It is what it is. 1.00

00:16:45.780 Take that L. I wish you well in your next marriage.

00:16:47.940 Like the video, subscribe.

00:16:49.540 And, you know, good job on leaving because now he can go be his best self and you can

00:16:54.340 stop torturing him.

00:16:55.480 I'll see you next time, guys.

Pearl - September 17, 2026

She Got the “Provider Husband” She Wanted… Then LEFT Him

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