00:01:21.960And we also know that something that hasn't been brought up is that alimony is actually increasing.
00:01:27.020It's six times more than it was in 2000 that women are paying men because women are now women are now getting more money.
00:01:33.120Same thing with child custody or child support is that the trends are switching as women are earning more and as women are sometimes even out earning men.0.94
00:01:42.740So right. But alimony is a neutral is a neutral thing.0.94
00:01:46.780There was a case in 1980, Or v. Or, where there was a statue about, like, only men having to pay for alimony, and it was struck down because it violated the Equal Protection Clause.
00:01:56.820So this isn't something that is targeted at men, and it's such a rare thing that if you don't want to get married because you're so afraid you're going to have to pay alimony, you're just neurotic.
00:02:08.900Still, you can phrase it how you want men are the most likely to pay alimony child support, lose the house, and lose the kids.
00:02:15.040they're based on that they are more likely you could say it's changing a little bit and i would
00:02:19.520agree but still um i would say it's a bad deal for men because of the incentive structure today
00:02:24.640but what percentage of men are actually having to do that i told you versus the amount of men
00:02:29.380that are getting off the top of my head i don't know we could get it for you but well okay we do
00:02:33.820know that i just know i just know you're just going to argue with it so i'm here to argue yes
00:02:37.940i was invited to do a debate to argue this prompt now you're upset people are arguing even when
00:02:42.680they're not personally insulting you you're still a type of nagging that drives men to suicide
00:02:46.040we can't do that either that was the first that was a please yeah she's been good so far please
00:02:53.000just bear with me here she's mad now that people are in the debate that like that you know we don't
00:02:57.180need to call nagging let's talk about the prompt is she nagging okay we're debating this is a debate
00:03:01.920panel so do i get two personals now i no that's not what we're doing please god for the love of
00:03:07.120god let's keep this professional i didn't personally attack no you're fine right now
00:03:10.580Yeah, go ahead. Please just go ahead and respond to her points.
00:03:13.800So it seems like you compare the absolute worst outcome that can happen to men and you compare that to like if you're not even comparing it to like you're comparing that to the best outcome of being single.
00:03:24.500If we know that most marriages don't even end in divorce and we know that then they get these benefits like better health, higher income, which is actually even when you control for the fact that women take to marry men who make more money, that marriage premium is pretty well established that they make more money.
00:03:39.620it has nothing to do with women put things on men's credit card i need a source so i would say
00:03:44.420that the risk is still too high because you don't even know what the risk is i would say the risk is
00:03:49.500still too high because you can be put on copious amounts of alimony child support um and lose
00:03:54.120access to your kids but you don't even know what that risk is off the top of my head the exact no
00:03:58.500but i know that you know it's less than what she's just gonna yeah one at a time please one
00:04:03.140time like i would still say that because of the risk it's too high um so if if it's like a one
00:04:09.620percent risk versus like a much larger chance that you're going to have companion you're going
00:04:13.860to have less socialized isolation 40 percent of marriage can i finish yeah yeah go ahead please
00:04:18.260please one at a time here i don't want to have to switch to a timer mode where one of y'all goes but
00:04:21.780i will do that so yeah go ahead finish meanwhile we know that they have better health they're more
00:04:26.740likely to survive like if they have things like cancer when they're married they live longer
00:04:31.060They have companionship. They make more money. All of those things you're not comparing, but you're just because you don't even know the risk. It's very small risk that they could have to pay alimony. And also, if you have a woman that's also working, then you don't even have to pay that. Right. Even the marriage risk of divorce. If you marry someone college educated, it drops to like 25 percent if a person's over 25 and college educated. So even the risk of divorce at all becomes much less.
00:04:56.460And then even of the people that get divorced, this idea that they're going to take the house, take the kids, all become homeless, penniless.
00:05:01.860These are the stories that you focus on based on your anecdotal experience of interviewing men in homeless shelters.
00:05:07.280I just don't feel like that stands up to any of those men don't matter.
00:05:10.680Not that they don't matter. I just don't think the average man should not get married because men in there.
00:05:15.480You have interviewed men in homeless shelters that have had bad experiences.
00:12:44.260So she said that women get the custody and the so even if you look at just marriages in total, right, most men don't even get divorced.
00:12:53.120So when you say it's a bad deal for men because men are the ones that are paying the majority of the child support and alimony, but you don't even know what percentage that is.
00:13:00.040And we know it's the vast, vast, vast minority of marriages that end in this.
00:13:03.880And we also know child support is not contingent upon actually being married.
00:13:09.200Child support is about being the father.
00:13:11.040And then you just jump to paternity fraud.
00:13:12.720I don't know what that has to do with marriage.
00:13:14.140We know that the majority of marriages actually end up as a benefit for men. They get the benefit of companionship. They live longer lives. They have better health. I don't know how you can make the case that marriage in general is a bad deal for men. And under your purview, it should be getting much better as women are paying more of the alimony, as alimony payments from men to women are getting much less, as shared custody is the default.
00:13:34.520And when you say women, well, it's very expensive. It's expensive for women, too. Right. If if both people have to go to court because they both want custody, then they're both paying legal fees and women are likely and women are more likely to actually have their standard of living decrease after marriage after divorce and more likely to have to seek out government.0.68
00:13:53.440why do we have phrases like it's cheaper to keep her okay if we want to go by phrases why do we
00:13:57.780have phrases like a good man is hard to find men are dogs what if we're just going to do phrases0.98
00:14:02.800this becomes a stupid argument i would agree a good man is hard to find so okay so is marriage0.98
00:14:07.560a bad deal for women then no because there's more at the phrase that good people are hard to find0.99
00:14:13.100in general but behind every great man is a great woman is that you did just ask her a question
00:14:18.300sorry sorry go ahead all right um i don't know she went through a lot so oh you said you said
00:14:23.980that men don't most men don't get divorced um right because most men don't want to lose their
00:14:29.820kids their house and pay child support and alimony and that's always and that's always under a
00:14:34.300constant threat in a marriage and where are you getting that from um the experience of millions
00:14:39.500of men everywhere and if you talk you talk to millions of men where have you found them
00:14:44.140where have you sourced these millions of i've interviewed over a thousand yeah from where where
00:14:47.980you getting them from england no where are you or where you've got street um collins just
00:14:55.580everywhere so you're stopping rent you've stopped a thousand man randomly on the street and they've
00:15:00.060i mean i get it you you might you might discredit it it's fine if you don't agree but i'm just
00:15:04.540telling you what i've seen i'm asking you about your methodology for this study that you've
00:15:08.860conducted well i've been i mean i've been interviewing people for years yeah but you
00:15:13.500do you know what a selection bias is yeah i know what that is what is it yeah i mean it's it's
00:15:18.520basically saying you're selecting for different like people that have had bad experiences yeah
00:15:22.600so if i was going to do a documentary on like women who've had bad experiences i could probably
00:15:27.660interview a thousand women who've had bad experiences that's why statistics matter you
00:15:31.720can believe that and what i would say is that you know um if it doesn't match with your personal
00:15:36.500experience then you don't have to believe it so fine sure if it's just all about personal experience
00:15:41.480And you believe marriage is a bad deal for men based on your personal experience.
00:15:45.020And I believe I would still say I would I believe it's a bad deal because men pay the majority of alimony, child support and lose custody.
00:15:51.900So that stick. That's literally my reason.
00:15:54.800I would say the majority of men that are married are gaining more benefit than that.
00:15:57.860It's a very small percentage. I believe marriage is a good deal for men, not just because of my personal experience, but because of the data.
00:16:03.360So what do men get out of marriage?0.74
00:16:05.460They live longer. They're typically healthier.
00:16:07.660they're at much lower risk of contracting a bunch of disease uh illnesses like cardiovascular
00:16:12.300uh heart problems even cancer they're more likely to get preventative care they're more likely to
00:16:16.380get diagnosed sooner less likely causation no and even when they get cancer they're more likely to
00:16:22.140survive and they're more likely to live longer so like even prostate cancer married men even
00:16:26.940controlling for how happy they are in the marriage they actually do live longer also they're less0.72
00:16:31.740like they're more likely to eat well they're more likely to exercise that to what the woman yes0.59
00:16:36.300Yes, because even when a death of a spouse happens, all that tends to go down.
00:16:40.280And that actually rings true for men even when their wives are hospitalized.0.91
00:16:43.960Men typically have far worse nutrition and health when there's not a woman in their life.0.86
00:16:48.880So then why is women's obesity rate higher?1.00
00:16:52.720Because women just carry more fat.1.00
00:16:54.620Women have higher visceral fat percentages.1.00
00:22:29.060They're more likely also to spend on gambling, alcohol, drugs.
00:22:32.840They're less likely to do all that when they're married.
00:22:34.560so is that not a benefit right but unnecessary according to who and that's the thing like whoever
00:22:39.080made that survey gets maybe gambling and drugs yeah but whoever made that survey like a lot of0.88
00:22:43.800women think that um cosmetic enhancements are necessary so i don't think any survey has considered0.97
00:22:48.880that yeah but my point is again like i'm just going off of what i'm seeing and like women
00:22:54.680if we make 85 percent of consumer buying decisions that means we're doing the majority of spending0.93
00:22:59.180Right. But also women are also the ones buying the things for the home.1.00
00:23:03.920Yeah. So I feel like Pearl just bases all of her data on like looking specifically for men who have had negative experiences,
00:23:10.840which is why it's really important for people to understand what selection bias is and to actually look at the overall statistical evidence for her claims.
00:23:19.160When she says, oh, it's a bad deal for men because they might have to pay alimony, but she can't even say what percentage of people that are getting married are paying alimony.
00:23:27.600And she also can't acknowledge that marriage might be becoming a better deal for men as more women are having to pay alimony and men are less likely to have to pay alimony.
00:23:36.520Child custody and I mean, child support has nothing to do with marriage.0.81
00:23:55.680If you actually look at married men versus unmarried men, right, you see that unmarried men are way more likely to commit suicide, have drug addiction problems.
00:24:05.400And when she says, oh, no, women just pick men that are healthier.
00:24:08.580No, actually, we see that when spouses get together, their risk of health issues are actually pretty similar because people do this thing called assortative mating where they pick spouses that are very similar to them.
00:24:21.040But when you have a partner, then those difficult moments in your life, like let's say you get diagnosed with a difficult disease, becomes easier. We're made to want to love each other, like pair bonding and finding a person that you really like and want to spend time with and want to be with maybe forever. Like, I don't think you have to get married. I think those are people that typically are happier. I think they're healthier.
00:24:43.160I think it is an unhealthy view on relationships for either side to hate or have a distrust of 50 percent of the population and close themselves off to one of the greatest parts of the human experience, which is partnership with the opposite gender.