Pearl - July 29, 2025Situationships Last Longer Than Modern Marriage
Episode Stats
Harmful content
Misogyny
38
sentences flagged
Toxicity
64
sentences flagged
Hate speech
24
sentences flagged
Summary
A situationship is a romantic or sexual relationship that lacks clear labels, commitment, or long term expectations. It's more than just a one-time casual hookup, but less than a traditional relationship. A woman sleeping with a guy that's out of her league can go on for months and even years.
Transcript
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Why did he reply and say, who's to say that person can't be me?
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Now she just got another six months. He got another six months of subscription.
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Okay, so today we're talking about situationships.
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I don't think situationships, they're kind of a product of the modern dating market.
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And it was tough when I was younger and I went to school.
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I didn't know how to describe to my parents the relationships everybody was in.
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Because while there was maybe one or two or three boyfriend-girlfriends on the teams,
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most of my lifetime I've probably known more people in situationships than I know married or in relationships.
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Now, so welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.
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Not very long ago, it was required for a man to commit to a woman to be able to have sex.
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It was required, at least for most men, for what they knew of, for a man to marry a woman before the woman would bear his children.
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From the sexual revolution came a culture where women are empowered to be promiscuous and have casual sex.
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Where there was once long-term relationships, now there's nothing but a bunch of situationships.
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A situationship is a romantic or sexual relationship that lacks clear labels, commitment, or long-term expectations.
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It's more than just like a one-time casual hookup, but less than a traditional relationship.
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More and more women are getting stuck in situations for months and even years
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as more and more average and men women are trying to get commitment from men that are out of their league.
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If you ask these women whose fault is it that the situationship is persisting,
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they will always blame the men instead of taking accountability
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for the type of man they choose to spend their time with.
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Now, I'd like to give a little bit of a caveat.
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So, there's a few different types of situationships that I see.
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So, there's situationship number one, which is a woman sleeping with a guy that's out of her league.
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Oftentimes, the woman will go back to this guy throughout her entire life.
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This is the ultimate guy that the woman wanted.
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This is the jack, you know, of modern women.
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Now, there is a different type of situationship that I also see.
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And this is a guy that a woman sleeps with but is embarrassed of.
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So, oftentimes, you hear from these guys, and you may laugh, but this is a problem for certain men,
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that the women always want sex and never commitment.
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Now, men that have never been in that position can't even fathom this.
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But these are the men that are chosen to be side dude material, where the women could not see themselves getting along with the man.
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Maybe they're embarrassed to be with that man in public, but they just cannot, for whatever reason, see it long term,
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but they like the sex or maybe even the comfort of the situationship.
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You also see the fat chicks that men bang, and, you know, they don't really know their place.
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But those are really the different types of situationships I see.
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And I was thinking about the experience of men and women,
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and I noticed that you can compare a situationship with an older woman to a young man in the friend zone with an attractive woman.
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And I would argue it's up to the man to end a relationship with a woman that he's putting effort into but not getting the sex from.
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Just like it's a woman's responsibility to end things with a man that she's not getting commitment from.
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Women say all the time that they know right when they meet a man if they would sleep with them or not.
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It won't take long for a man to realize if he wanted, he would be in a relationship with a woman, sort of.
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Okay, so I did a poll, and I was kind of curious about this.
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What is the longest, or sorry, I polled people.
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What is the longest situationship you've been in?
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So 30% of situationships, this is over 2,000 people, so this is a decent sample size,
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under a year, 1 to 3 years, 20%, 10%, say 3 to 5 years, and the majority of situationships are over 5 years long.
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And when I got this poll, I realized that's longer than most marriages.
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Many situationships last longer than most marriages.
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Now, I also did a poll today asking men if they've ever promoted, let me find it,
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fellas, have you, because me and Doug MPA were talking before the show,
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and I don't agree that, I don't agree at all that situationships the women always lose.
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And his initial thought was that if a man doesn't know in a year if he's going to marry you, he's never going to.
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And I think it's a generational difference, but that's not what I've seen at all, or make you his girlfriend.
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And I'm being honest here, that is not at all what I've seen.
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Half of situationships get left in the dust, and half actually get what they want, even after 1 to 3 years.
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There's winners and there's losers in this life.
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Now, there was a girl in school, and she was dating, I knew in school, and she was dating, let's just call him Chad.
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And to be honest, the whole time I would watch her, and I would think that she was stupid, right?
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And I would think that she was dumb, an idiot.
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You know, I recently checked in her profile, and she's pregnant with his kid now, so I was wrong.
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That girl was in a four-year situationship.
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And I knew another girl that was in an on-and-off situationship with, let's call him Tyrone.
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And it was on and off for years, and no, he never took her seriously.
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I would say probably she wasn't good-looking enough.
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Both, the one guy did bald early, so maybe that helped.
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Now, the women that win and the women that lose, I'd like to say there's no guaranteed outcomes, there's just strategies.
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But the women that I saw win, the strategy they would enact is they wouldn't bring up commitment.
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And they would just work to give the man the most positive experience possible.
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Now, the women that would nag the man constantly about what are we and da-da-da-da-da, I didn't really see them winning.
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I wanted to poll the people, and this is a smaller poll.
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I wanted to poll and see what the people had seen.
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Because in my experience, from what I've seen, it's about 50-50.
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Maybe 60-40, with 60% of situationships stay that way, 40%.
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And I promoted a situationship to my girlfriend or wife.
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I've also seen men on the losing side of a situationship, where the girl's just a little hotter than him or has more choice.
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And he wants to be in a relationship, you know, and she doesn't.
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But my question is, for the men, I really want to hear about your situationships.
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You know, what is the longest situationship you've been in?
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Or maybe you were on the end of wanting to be promoted.
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So we're going to watch some TikToks on situationships.
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You know how they say it's always harder to get over someone that you never actually dated?
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Not only is it harder to get over someone that you never dated, it is the hardest to get over...
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Someone said, I know a guy who's been in one for 35 years.
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For someone that you never dated that you also met in a very serendipitous way.
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And I know for a fact that is why it was so hard for me to get over a couple of the men
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And mind you, these are men that I never was in a committed relationship,
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but because of the way that I met them in these crazy, unexpected, out of the blue, fairy tale ways.
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So, when they say, I met him in a fairy tale way, it just means he has a script.
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So, he's got, like, a routine that he's good at, like, putting women in.
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Most of the time, they're older women that are desperate for a relationship and get one.
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I see a good amount of men in situationships with young women where they want...
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It's like they want the situationship to be taken seriously, but the women are young.
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Nearly impossible for me to think that it wasn't destiny for me to be with them.
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So, yeah, granted, they were showing me, they were definitely showing me in the moment who
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they were as people, even if their actions were not aligning with their words at all,
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even if they were hot and cold and treating me terribly.
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Women close to hitting the wall will accept situations.
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If I'm being honest, guys, I saw it the most in school.
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That was like, when I was in college, more women were in situationships than relationships.
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But if I'm just being real here, that's what I saw it the most.
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And I'm not trying to like white knight for women, right?
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I'm just like, I have to go with what I'm seeing with my eyes.
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I simply just did not care because I was like, well, I met them in this way and this is how
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I've always wanted to meet someone, so therefore it's just going to have to work out somehow.
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And then I would get stuck in like very on and off situationships with people that sometimes
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So on top of already being someone who tends to project her daydreamed fantasies onto people
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in the real world, even if they are showing the complete opposite, add to that the fact
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that since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to meet someone in that like Disney princess
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way, of course, it was hard for me to let go of these men.
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Like one of the guys that I'm referring to, he actually chased me down as I was pulling
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out of my parking lot to go to my friend's house.
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Like he waved me down and made me stop my car and then ask for my number.
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And then the other person I met while I was on vacation just hit it off right away.
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We got along so well that we ended up spending like every single night together for the rest
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of the time that I was there and then we just happened to either run into each other or see
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each other for the next two years after that completely unplanned.
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And mind you, this person and I both live in different countries.
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So it was situations like that where I would either keep running into the person or the way
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that I met them genuinely made me believe that this was going to be how it played out with
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And I think unless you've been through this yourself or unless you are a very imaginative
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person and you have a very clear idea of like how you want things to play out, which I know
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You really won't understand how difficult it is to let go of people that you do meet in
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Like, I don't know, in my mind, it's just a lot easier for me to get over someone that
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I meet on a dating app versus someone that I meet like in the wild, completely unplanned and
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unexpected trust me when I say that I've been through this situation enough times now to
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know that the way that you meet someone really does not play into the kind of person that
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they are definitely had to learn that one the hard way.
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But I'm just saying if you are someone that has also found it way more difficult to let
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go of people that you met in these crazy ways, you are not alone.
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Because I stand by the theory that the people that you meet in these kinds of ways are 10
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And what you get is when you meet a guy in a crazy way, he's practiced that.
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Oh, I've been in a situation for six fucking years now.
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I cannot believe I just said that on camera, but I'm so fucking over it.
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Basically, this boy and I started dating when we were in high school and like, honestly,
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Like we were both stubborn as fuck and we would just argue constantly.
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So what happens is women will always go back to the most alpha guy of their past.
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So sometimes women find that guy in high school.
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Um, but usually, especially women, I want you guys to know if there's a woman that gives
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you a really low body count and she's not lying, there's some ex that has a subscription
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I was so sad, but then we remained really close friends and eventually just basically...
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Women are getting, you know, thrown at us 24 seven.
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And I want you, when you start looking at sex as a need, women's behavior makes way more
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Women, you know, men, it would be like, you know, women, they're going to find a way to
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And obviously women, we're going to do it in the most manipulative ways possible.
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And then we both went to the same fucking college.
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...dating then either, but we continued this, whatever the fuck that was going on.
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And that shit fucked with my head because it felt so much like a relationship that when
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I got upset at things like, which if you're in a relationship, it was totally valid, but
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And so I kept feeling all these things that I wasn't technically allowed to feel because
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Like I've always been really shy with like dating and all of that.
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But because for me, I was so scared to like meet other people because I was so comfortable
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So a lot of times guys, when you're meeting a woman and she's acting weird, there's someone
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Like if you, if you start thinking, I can tell she likes me, but there's something holding
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I promise to God, either she doesn't like you at all, or there's someone in the background.
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And I regret not going on dates and like fucking around in college because now I'm 23.
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And like, I don't want to do dating ads either.
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And I've heard too many bad stories from friends that like, I'm not doing that shit.
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But anyway, last year of college, we finally dated, which apparently recently I talked to
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And according to him, we weren't even dating back then, but we were doing like the whole flowers,
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So like, I don't know what's wrong with him.
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And remember, this is a six year situationship.
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Situationships oftentimes last longer than marriages.
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We broke up the last year of college because of long distance, but now we're in the same
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This year, I told myself to stop wasting my time and energy on the people who don't return
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Like at this point, I feel like I'm just going to die alone.
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At this point, I feel like I've lost all of my dating skills because I didn't have to
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For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I'm ready to move on and meet other people.
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I keep saying that I'm only sticking with this boy because of comfort and familiarity.
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But like, he's not giving me any of that because he's stressing me out so fucking much.
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Wait, I've been loving brushing my hair like this recently.
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I just texted my situation ship of eight months and said, hey, I love coloring you.
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But I'm never going to meet my husband if I keep coloring you.
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And I think I actually am finally ready for more commitment from someone.
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Why did he reply and say, who's to say that person can't be me?
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And this is super common for girls in their early 20s.
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Like it's that that's, you know, you guys are saying the older women are in the situation
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But I'm telling you in school, it was like everybody, everybody.
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Say what you will, but I'm in what they call a long term situation ship.
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So it's like two air signs and I get on his fucking nerves for sure.
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Who braided my hair for SoulCycle this morning?
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I do because I've known how to braid for a long time.
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Not every night, but me because I feed the cats and you around the same time.
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How long have I been staying in your apartment?
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I don't understand why you can't move the fuck out.
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Because I can't even commit to my clothes.
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Why the fuck would I commit to like a thing like that?
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It means when people just got too much shit going on that they don't have the time to put a label on something.
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But, you know, that something is there all the fucking time.
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She has too many tattoos and her hair is too short.
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My house is so much cleaner when you're not around.
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He's thinner and he kind of looked better looking at a glance.
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But I need you guys to tell me what base am I on.
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Even though we are currently on opposite sides of the country.
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I'm in Chicago right now because I'm home and they're in LA.
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And so what we've been doing is every night we've been like syncing up in how we watch Love Island.
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And then we'll binge like three or four episodes together.
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Our entire text threads have just become like syncing up, pressing play, syncing up time codes.
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Like we have like 10,000 text messages back and forth over the last few days where we've been
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binging this show and just live texting it as it's happening.
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Do you think it's serious enough for me to propose or like?