Pearl - Some Women Are NOT PREPARED For MOTHERHOOD｜ Pearl Daily

00:00:00.000 good afternoon ladies and gentlemen first of all guys if you want to support the channel

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00:00:42.100 we got to fix wi-fi issues and that sort of thing put a one in the chat if you guys thought about

00:00:53.840 my topic at all today which is talking about a phenomenon that I saw when I was in England but

00:01:02.800 actually let me let me start over so for those of you that don't watch the show regularly my name

00:01:08.480 is Pearl and I was a normal woman selling copiers in Milwaukee when I ended up quitting my job

00:01:14.720 during COVID. During COVID I was supposed to go play volleyball overseas my season ends up getting

00:01:22.640 canceled and I am stuck at home with my parents at my parents house jobless for a year. And in

00:01:31.220 that period, I decided to start at the time a very small YouTube channel. And this YouTube channel

00:01:37.220 was where I reacted to red pill content. Now, there's a lot of different factions of the 0.98

00:01:45.120 manosphere, red pill, men's rights, that sort of content. I've seen all of it. But 0.86

00:01:52.740 this, that content led me to going to England and finding out if some of these concepts were true

00:02:02.980 myself. I ended up starting a YouTube live show and I interviewed a thousand people.

00:02:09.340 These were women of different ages, ethnicities, and men.

00:02:15.920 Ages, ethnicities, parts of the world.

00:02:18.380 I went to Ireland, Eastern Europe.

00:02:21.340 And it was all to talk about relationships and culture.

00:02:25.420 And the funny thing that I learned, or the interesting thing that I learned,

00:02:29.180 was how many people will tell you their life story if you ask the right questions?

00:02:37.480 I don't know, maybe it's just me, or maybe it's just I know what to look for.

00:02:46.700 But I found that I was able to get a lot of people's life story.

00:02:52.900 And there's an interesting thing that happens when you interview so many people.

00:02:57.660 You start to see the same archetypes of people like personalities, patterns of behavior from

00:03:08.220 people that don't know each other but have very similar stories.

00:03:13.940 So one story that I found to be really interesting was the pattern of behavior of women that 0.80

00:03:21.620 were seemingly traditional and did the traditional wife thing. You know, they were a stay-at-home mom 0.96

00:03:29.860 and one day they just end up divorcing their husbands, breaking up their entire family.

00:03:38.640 And I know I've had the content where we say, you know, it's wrong to do that. Maybe it's selfish,

00:03:44.420 that sort of thing. But today I'm not really trying to prescribe morality to it,

00:03:49.520 but maybe understand why the women did what they did. 0.99

00:03:57.040 So I got a lot of flack last episode 0.53

00:04:00.820 because I said something that maybe surprised the audience.

00:04:06.220 I said it is not better or worse to have a family,

00:04:13.120 to have children.

00:04:14.920 Maybe a guy wants to be a bachelor. 1.00

00:04:17.540 Maybe a woman wants to be Oprah. 1.00

00:04:19.520 call her daddy, whatever. And I said, one isn't necessarily better than the other. Now, 0.67

00:04:25.200 what did I mean by that? Obviously, we know that women that have family and children tend to have 1.00

00:04:32.700 better relationship outcomes, the sooner they do that, and they tend to be happier. Like single 1.00

00:04:39.940 women over the age of 45 have the highest antidepressant rates, right? So I'm not going

00:04:45.980 to pretend there's no trends and patterns and things that I see in that

00:04:49.400 regard. But the interesting thing that I saw when I interviewed so many people was

00:04:58.160 that it didn't really matter what race, ethnicity, or background people had. People

00:05:05.000 are people regardless of religion, race, or social class. And some of the

00:05:15.980 rudest or maybe meanest women I'd ever met were from a more conservative background. And then 1.00

00:05:24.600 you would meet a OF model who was really kind, caring, and compassionate to everyone in the room.

00:05:30.380 So it made me realize that people maybe aren't as black and white as I thought. 0.98

00:05:36.620 But so what we see now is an increase in femininity content.

00:05:49.160 And there is a whole sector of YouTube dedicated to femininity.

00:05:54.360 And during this journey, I guess, or you could say process, I really pondered a lot about

00:05:59.700 what femininity is.

00:06:01.800 I never really considered myself particularly feminine.

00:06:05.560 I grew up a tomboy.

00:06:06.620 I was really into sports. I never considered myself a girly girl. But I had a friend during

00:06:16.040 this process that told me she became feminine. And the interesting thing was I would have femininity 0.78

00:06:22.320 coaches on. I would have all of these different women that said they specialized in femininity, 1.00

00:06:28.540 but none of them could really describe what it was none of them could really explain it and when

00:06:37.000 someone says I became feminine they would never give me an in-depth detailed explanation of how

00:06:43.860 they got there right so many women made it about hair makeup and nails and you know maybe that was 0.96

00:06:52.600 part of it. But I didn't think it was as simple as maybe throwing on a flower dress and getting 0.85

00:07:04.860 in the kitchen, taking off your shoes, being bare. And you see that on TikTok a lot. And so

00:07:10.400 I started to think about the women that I considered to be the most feminine. And you

00:07:15.940 You think of maybe a grandma, an old aunt, and they just made you feel very warm, I guess

00:07:22.360 is the way to describe it.

00:07:25.440 And what I concluded is that femininity at its core is being selfless.

00:07:33.080 It is thinking about others before yourself.

00:07:37.700 And so what are some examples of this?

00:07:43.720 of the most feminine women that I, the, actually the most feminine woman I met in my year of shows, 1.00

00:07:50.340 she comes on the show and she just starts like baking in my kitchen. And at first you think, 0.73

00:07:55.900 what is this woman doing? Just baking in my kitchen. Um, but she saw that I was really 1.00

00:08:01.080 stressed out because we had a ton of people there and she just figured that people would be hungry

00:08:06.740 and anticipated it. No one had to tell her. And she made the best dessert. Oh my gosh,

00:08:11.600 These desserts were so good. And I thought to myself, that is a prime example of femininity. 1.00

00:08:18.400 Now, this woman, it wasn't like she was, she wasn't even married, right? So she was divorced. 1.00

00:08:33.440 she wasn't married but it taught me that there is a difference between being married and being a wife 0.97

00:08:42.960 many women get married but that doesn't necessarily mean they're a wife and that's

00:08:48.480 that's actually something that you know she said to me um 1.00

00:08:56.160 so 1.00

00:08:56.480 Okay, so what is a wife? A wife means being a support system to a man. A wife means thinking 1.00

00:09:08.640 of others before yourself. Many women sign up for this role and are not prepared for what it entails. 0.95

00:09:17.160 It means eating his food every day instead of yours. It means living where he wants to live 0.98

00:09:23.100 instead of where you want to live. It means not traveling or going out because you would spend

00:09:29.360 too much time away from your kids. It means getting married on his timeline, not yours.

00:09:35.240 Remember, the most feminine woman I met out of a thousand women was a divorced, unmarried woman 0.98

00:09:40.940 in a relationship, but she had that aura that makes you feel at home. And that's how I learned 0.97

00:09:46.860 there's a difference between being married and being a wife. So what I noticed the most about

00:09:53.080 the feminine women that I met is they were always looking to be assets and seeing how they could 1.00

00:09:59.300 help. They never had to ask, they would just do, and they'd always think of ways to make their man's 1.00

00:10:05.420 day better. So what does this mean? And I saw this clip or this thing on TikTok, right? And I thought

00:10:14.040 it kind of, it's not this simple, right? But this woman said this is her routine for being a better 0.60

00:10:22.800 wife. She said, I want to be a better wife. This is what I'm going to do to improve myself to be 1.00

00:10:27.080 better. Wake up at 5 a.m. to prepare breakfast for your husband. Eggs, bacon, toast, coffee. Make

00:10:34.140 sure everything's ready by 5 30. Gym from 6 to 7. Keep in shape. No excuses. Clean the entire house

00:10:40.780 7 30 to 9 30, including vacuuming, dusting, mopping the floors. Laundry must be done daily and folded

00:10:46.800 by 10 a.m. Prepare your lunch for your husband by noon, even if he has work. Pack it the night

00:10:52.700 before if necessary. Dinner must be served 6.30 sharp, a fresh home-cooked meal every day, no

00:10:58.360 takeout allowed. Be available for snacks and drinks whenever your husband or his friends are around,

00:11:04.440 especially after 8. Snacks must be homemade. Ensure that the house is quiet after 9 p.m. for

00:11:10.200 your husband's relaxation. No distractions during his TV time. Yeah, how many men are dying to not

00:11:17.500 have their wife nag on them for their video games. Anyway, so go to bed by 10 p.m. to get enough

00:11:24.440 rest, but only after making sure everything is ready the next day. Okay. So what I realized is

00:11:31.800 I think people have a core of who they are. And, you know, one time a couple of years ago,

00:11:39.220 I asked my dad if he thought that people changed over time. You know, I was dating a guy my dad

00:11:45.980 didn't like too much and so I was like dad do you think people change right and he said yeah you

00:11:53.040 know they do change they get worse so whatever bad quality you see now you better be okay to

00:12:00.380 live with it because it's going to be worse in 20 years um and my dad just has you like wisdom

00:12:07.060 like that that just sticks with me he's just a very wise guy I think it's because he was born

00:12:13.060 before the social media age, they just tend to pay more attention. And so it made me think,

00:12:21.700 most women today, and men, but especially we in particular are encouraged, and I don't want to

00:12:31.780 phrase this as a bad thing, because it's not necessarily bad. We're encouraged to be very

00:12:37.320 selfish. And we wake up and every decision we make is thinking about ourselves first.

00:12:43.620 Now, I'm going to give you guys an example where this can be a good thing.

00:12:48.500 A lawyer is not going to become partner at the firm without thinking about his self or himself

00:12:55.960 first. He has to make sure or she that they wake up every day and they are the most energized they

00:13:04.540 could be in order to pursue their career. Going after a career that is, you know, that high powered,

00:13:13.600 you have to be selfish to some degree because every decision you're making is to better your

00:13:21.840 career. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. In some ways, you can't help others before you

00:13:29.360 help yourself. But many women, you know, you guys saw what I just read. That's not really typical in 0.83

00:13:35.900 2024. And part of my process of interviewing a thousand women was I learned what the role of a 1.00

00:13:45.640 traditional wife was. And I realized how few women actually fulfilled that. And I could probably

00:13:54.900 count on maybe one hand, the amount of women that are, I know that are obedient to their husbands, 1.00

00:14:01.680 right. Um, that don't nag him constant. Like it's almost the norm to use backhanded compliments or

00:14:11.400 that sort of thing against men, um, or against husbands. Like, you know, you're just like your

00:14:17.440 father. And there's other small things I noticed, like the father's side of the family always had

00:14:25.760 a tendency to be demonized. I saw a TikTok of a girl saying, I realized that I am going to be

00:14:32.700 dad's side of the family to my brothers. And it went super viral because everyone, because it was

00:14:39.440 so common for the dad's side of the family to be trashed. Because women, in order to survive from 0.99

00:14:45.900 an evolutionary point of view, reputation destruction is our biggest weapon. And what 1.00

00:14:52.300 I realized is a lot of women do not, and not all, but a lot of women do not know themselves.

00:15:03.160 And they are not aware that they are selfish people signing up for a selfless role. And

00:15:12.420 And what happens is they get married and they play pretend.

00:15:17.620 And in my opinion, you can only play pretend for so long.

00:15:20.880 There are people that genuinely do change and get better, but I would say that's the

00:15:25.200 exception, not the rule.

00:15:26.900 So they sign up for this role and every day they have to think of their husband's needs

00:15:31.360 and their kids' needs first.

00:15:33.040 And it's just not who they are.

00:15:36.560 So why did I say that, you know, there's no better or worse choices? 0.94

00:15:44.160 Because through this experience, and at first I really did, I thought that every single woman, it would be better for them to have children.

00:15:53.440 I really thought that. 0.95

00:15:54.840 Until I met so many women that destroyed their families because they did not know their role. 1.00

00:16:01.940 they would leave their husbands because they outgrew them there would be women there would 0.89

00:16:09.920 be mothers that I would see at every event in London just on their stories or and I would just

00:16:18.180 think who is is watching your children you can't be an involved mother and be out four days a week

00:16:25.820 There's just no way. Who's cooking your kids dinner? And you see this online a lot. You know, 0.99

00:16:33.980 you see the women looking on Instagram. I've seen women looking on Instagram for a nanny. 1.00

00:16:42.140 That's crazy. You guys are trusting. There are people that trust strangers with their children.

00:16:47.800 So, you know, and it just made me have the thought that if these women were honest with 0.98

00:16:54.920 themselves, they would know they just were never meant to be mothers because they were too selfish 0.99

00:17:02.520 for that role. And I didn't necessarily think they were bad people. Sometimes they were kind

00:17:08.640 people. They were nice enough. But you could just tell every decision in their life was for

00:17:16.520 themselves and so what happens is these women and i saw this with um the lauren southern so you have 1.00

00:17:29.000 um she's a media like a she was a big right-wing media political commentator and you spend years 1.00

00:17:37.240 she spends years traveling the world building up her career not a bad thing right but and then signs 1.00

00:17:43.880 up for a role where you have to think about everyone else's needs first. And if you haven't 0.99

00:17:52.320 practiced for that role, a lot of women get overwhelmed or they get sick of playing a role 1.00

00:17:58.320 that they weren't built for after 20 years and then end up leaving their husbands and their 1.00

00:18:04.080 families. And you see this in a lot of their videos. The interesting thing is I tell you guys

00:18:09.500 this stuff. And you can go on TikTok and find a woman just admitting this. And the phrases that

00:18:16.340 they tend to use is, I lost myself. And when you first hear that, you think, that sounds crazy.

00:18:24.040 What do you mean you lost yourself? But what you come to understand is what they're actually saying

00:18:30.960 is I was a person before I got married. I got married and part of getting married is giving up

00:18:41.060 parts of yourself. If you were a woman and you used to go to the club every weekend, 0.81

00:18:46.320 part of getting married is giving that up and watching your kids. 0.97

00:18:52.800 And they miss that old version of themselves. And maybe they had friends and they watched their

00:18:59.720 friends do all the things that they wished they could do. Maybe it's pursuing hobbies. Maybe it's

00:19:05.840 going to the club. Maybe it's that. And then at 40 or 45, I think the average age of first divorce

00:19:13.140 is 37. But you see an uptick of young marriages end around 29, 30 for women. So that's oftentimes

00:19:23.160 Sometimes if they marry before 25, that's the first one.

00:19:28.040 And that's what I realized is that they were fooling themselves into thinking they were

00:19:34.840 something they were not.

00:19:38.460 And the other issue is we're attracted to 10% of men.

00:19:42.040 So a lot of the, you know, if you go higher and higher up the success hierarchy and the

00:19:49.540 options hierarchy of men the less i guess bs the guy is going to put up with because

00:19:56.340 you can be easily replaced so some of the women were pretty good looking but if you go after say 0.99

00:20:02.740 a corporate attorney and you get to marry him or you get to be his wife right 1.00

00:20:11.220 a guy like that isn't going to 0.68

00:20:12.900 to, you're not going to get your way as much as say if you married, I don't know, a more laid

00:20:23.100 back job, maybe an engineer, something like that, right? Those guys tend to be a little

00:20:28.240 more laid back. But the problem was, as women, a lot of times we don't think a lot of this stuff

00:20:37.260 through where maybe they liked the guy, but they didn't, they were not realistic about

00:20:43.600 who they were and what kind of lifestyle they'd want to lead.

00:20:50.500 So I'm going to check the chat really quick because I'm going to show you guys a couple

00:20:55.580 examples.

00:20:58.860 Yeah, that's what, and I'm going to keep doing the interviewing a thousand women series.

00:21:04.620 until I stopped thinking of things because this whole experience was just it was just so crazy

00:21:13.860 guys yeah wait until she says you stole my youth and on the surface this sounds crazy and it

00:21:23.120 totally is it's completely entitled but that's how the woman feels she feels as though she spent her

00:21:31.500 youth on something she thought she wanted and she really didn't. Now, you get two outcomes in life

00:21:39.100 from the women that choose to be a traditional way. The first woman is grateful for having the 1.00

00:21:47.360 opportunity to serve. So again, this kind of goes back to what I was saying with the

00:21:55.820 who is the core of who she is? 0.96

00:21:58.500 Is she selfish or selfless?

00:22:01.160 And if she's selfless, she's grateful for having that role. 1.00

00:22:05.600 But the women that are naturally selfish 1.00

00:22:08.320 and cannot overcome it, what happens to them 1.00

00:22:12.140 is they get really bitter and really resentful.

00:22:15.560 And that's where you hear the, what about all I did for you? 1.00

00:22:22.060 That's the type of women that tend to throw it in your face. 1.00

00:22:28.760 And again, who is to say that which is better or worse? 1.00

00:22:38.080 I can't say because every person is different.

00:22:40.420 And interviewing 1,000 people showed me just

00:22:44.300 how different people are.

00:22:49.440 OK. 1.00

00:22:49.940 Let me, how many women cheat and abuse their spouse? 0.98

00:22:53.700 Guys, a lot. 1.00

00:22:56.460 Narcissism.

00:22:57.200 Yeah, and that's the thing. 1.00

00:22:59.680 Do you really think narcissistic women, 1.00

00:23:02.860 it's a good idea for them to raise children? 0.99

00:23:06.300 And this is a serious question for conservatives

00:23:10.160 because you hear marriage and family is the answer.

00:23:14.320 And I'm not saying it's not for a lot of people.

00:23:17.880 But I met so many people that were just not,

00:23:29.900 I could not see them raising children and being good at it.

00:23:34.940 But that's just my opinion.

00:23:38.940 Okay, now I'm going to pull up a couple of examples.

00:23:43.940 of examples because oh it's under oh this one okay so

00:24:00.100 okay make sure this is not sometimes i put stuff on two acts

00:24:06.500 single mom in your 40s pipeline yes that's being exposed so what do y'all know about how i spent

00:24:13.720 my 20s so this is a conversation that's being had but a lot of the stories right now are like well

00:24:18.500 he left me with four kids whatever whatever so i left but let's talk about how i yeah

00:24:23.700 welcome to coffee talk with your host linda richmond it's like two in the afternoon so

00:24:29.760 today we are actually having a dr pepper talk so that's all right all right all right you know

00:24:33.200 what i mean but you thought i was going to come with receipts wait wow see this is why the guys

00:24:40.420 will say vetting women doesn't work because one day you get the left one day you get the right

00:24:47.200 you would that's the other thing you would be surprised how much people's opinions change in

00:24:53.460 their lifetime but let me let me keep going i can't look like that anymore so obviously the

00:25:00.820 environment i was raised in was fairly conservative with a lot of gender roles and a lot of stuff like

00:25:04.760 that right but i was raised by essentially a single mother even though you know she's married

00:25:08.140 sometimes and stuff like okay so this is another phenomenon i saw i would meet people from

00:25:15.100 traditional countries and i would meet a lot of second generation um immigrants that were like

00:25:25.960 their parents were from a more traditional country and I couldn't count

00:25:30.100 the number of times that I heard them say that the traditional mother who was

00:25:35.220 married to her husband for 30 years told the daughter not to get married or to

00:25:42.580 delay that as soon as possible or another one is that the stay-at-home mom

00:25:49.720 as a single mother so yeah yeah and so when I grew up and had my own kids my

00:26:00.280 trauma response to things that I was lacking in my childhood was to go

00:26:04.160 completely the other way like I'm not gonna work I'm gonna be the president of

00:26:07.000 the PT I'm gonna be there 24 7 all of that stuff which I was happy when I was

00:26:11.020 okay so her early childhood is what it's very selfish not bad right there's

00:26:16.900 nothing wrong with doing that stuff but all the decisions she's talking about are for herself

00:26:25.220 it wasn't this thing that i was like oh my god you know what i mean but looking back there was

00:26:31.220 no me in there you know i started working really young so i'd already had quite a career so when

00:26:36.580 i met my second ex-husband we decided to get married we decided we wanted to do things old

00:26:40.340 school we wanted to do the traditional gender roles he went to work i stayed home with the

00:26:44.340 kids and all of this stuff and at first it was amazing and i got to do everything i wanted to

00:26:50.340 do and i could make the kids you know my kids never ate baby food that wasn't something that

00:26:54.180 i made and stuff like that which was an amazing part of it but as time went on i realized she

00:27:00.100 reverted back to her original self because you can only put up an act for so long i was not in any way

00:27:09.620 an equal part of our home it started with like smaller things that you know

00:27:13.820 you wouldn't necessarily just like oh okay well it's his job and you know I

00:27:16.580 am the one who stays home and this is for me and I need to figure this out

00:27:19.220 like um you know I need you to watch the kids for me once a week so I go to 0.80

00:27:22.160 therapy no okay now she's starting to get entitled and resentful I want this

00:27:30.620 you're not giving me this 1.00

00:27:33.860 and again when you meet the super feminine women it's it's just a 1.00

00:27:41.240 different experience they they're um they make you feel so warm and they 1.00

00:27:48.560 would never throw it in your face if they do something nice for you you know

00:27:52.980 I might have to work I can't commit to that okay I want to go to college I

00:27:57.020 never you know I never got to do that I started working really young and did all

00:27:59.540 that stuff oh well so she saw her friends go to college and she thought

00:28:03.320 wow i want to go to college starts to resent the husband even more who's going to pay for it

00:28:10.440 who's going to pay okay and one of the biggest wake-up calls i got was when my son was going

00:28:15.240 through his diagnosis journey and because of the values that we're rocking on it was oh no there's

00:28:19.320 nothing you just wanted to you just want that like wouldn't even go to appointments with me

00:28:22.760 wouldn't entertain even though things were pretty obvious things were you know doing a thing and and

00:28:26.920 so it just really over so the mindset a more traditional woman would have is that she's happy

00:28:32.920 to help where a woman that's a bit more modern is going to be is going to resent her husband for not

00:28:42.920 doing the things with her time it was really really clear that even though i had someone paying

00:28:47.640 my bills i was completely on my own and i also hadn't created any nest egg i hadn't done anything

00:28:52.200 for myself like i started cosplaying to put away a little money and doing stuff like that but the

00:28:56.360 more and the more i got out into the outside world and started saying things or repeating things i

00:29:00.120 realized this is not kosher. But once I started trying to work more outside of the home and put

00:29:04.620 away an SDG and do that sort of stuff, guess what? No one's sharing domestic duties with me. So then

00:29:09.040 you're in trouble all the time and getting baskets of laundry dumped on your head because this is

00:29:12.800 your job. And you know, it was really a traumatic time. But then after all those years of suppressing

00:29:17.680 who I really was, guess what happened? I lost my ever living shit. I lost my absolute ever living 1.00

00:29:22.280 shit. Had a complete nervous breakdown. They crash. I mean, think about how exhausting it's 1.00

00:29:27.820 gotta be to be someone you're not. And that's, I guess, sometimes why I poke fun at the

00:29:36.060 corn star overnight preachers. I mean, this is why we roll our eyes at that kind of stuff,

00:29:43.160 because a conversion story is great, and I'm sure it happens, but there's a saying that

00:29:52.280 a tiger never changes his stripes or something like that.

00:29:57.820 Maybe it's a leopard, never changes his spots, hides his, I don't, you guys have to remember

00:30:02.680 in the chat.

00:30:05.500 And so it's exhausting to them because they're trying to be something that they're not.

00:30:13.380 And then 20 years later, they say, I wish I miss who I was before all of this.

00:30:22.100 And that's why I say, know thyself, know who you are.

00:30:24.940 um was not anyone that i wanted to be for a couple years and all because i spent a long time

00:30:31.980 really suppressing who the hell i was what the

00:30:33.760 so sometimes guys when we say mumbo jumbo and they're like that makes no sense 0.98

00:30:42.560 i can decipher it you're welcome i can decipher it fuck i needed and not taking care of myself 0.98

00:30:48.920 and not setting up a future for myself yeah so again she has a more selfish mindset um 0.97

00:30:57.080 and she's saying i did not set up a future for myself and i didn't take care of myself so

00:31:06.760 she did not know the role that she was signing up for now people of modern marriages they figure out

00:31:13.400 all different types of stuff. We have air fryers and Roombas now. There's different ways of living, 1.00

00:31:19.160 right? People come up with all different types of solutions. But this was just one pattern that I saw

00:31:27.080 in the women that opted for something, but they were not that. And again, it's not to say right 0.97

00:31:36.600 or wrong. It's just saying if a woman like this knew herself a little bit better and was honest

00:31:45.460 about what she wanted, you know, maybe she would just go get the equal partner that she was looking

00:31:52.300 for and they could go do that. But that's not the type of woman that's really qualified for what he 1.00

00:31:59.700 was asking for and trust me there's a lot of there's a lot of guys out there they won't

00:32:05.060 they want to do the 50 50 they're like i'm not i'm not saying all but there there's a there's

00:32:12.920 enough i mean this would be like a perfect cougar woman she totally would be this is like the type 0.79

00:32:18.420 of woman that would date a guy 20 years younger and it would be a win-win for both because the 1.00

00:32:23.900 young guy would get the kinky stuff whatever and because the guy the girl's his age don't want him 1.00

00:32:31.580 and then the old lady gets the attractive guy and she doesn't have to listen to him boom 1.00

00:32:37.200 problem solved lady now they would obviously end badly but you know it could keep her entertained

00:32:43.720 for like a decade i think that's a win-win no i'm not saying don't do this but what i'm saying is

00:32:47.940 is just make sure you're going to therapy deconstructing your stuff and i'm talking

00:32:50.980 somewhere outside of like church and stuff like that because that's who I was talking to too 0.98

00:32:55.300 and there's more women who have my story or who have similar stories or even heat left or whatever 0.65

00:32:59.860 then there are that have the other one and that's why like this video had said which I 0.99

00:33:03.540 strongly suggest go watch it yeah and I would agree that's why I said out of a thousand women

00:33:11.060 how many would I say were traditional or feminine

00:33:15.620 maybe 10, 15. And it's because it's not, it's because one, our society doesn't 0.60

00:33:30.740 reward, I guess, or we've really lost family values as a society. So we don't really

00:33:39.740 reward being selfless or maybe sorry I'm trying to let me let me phrase that better

00:33:48.520 one our society does not encourage people to be selfless and we're told being selfish is a good

00:33:56.520 thing and two I think emotions are something that people struggle with and they're very

00:34:05.520 difficult to overcome so i would say it's more the exception than the rule to find truly selfless

00:34:14.020 people people that think about everyone else before themselves and it's not a bad thing it's

00:34:19.720 not one one's not necessarily better or worse they just have different outcomes you don't see

00:34:25.780 women my age really advocating for this lifestyle like i think it's cool if that's what you want to 0.74

00:34:29.960 do just make sure that you cya and when someone my age says something like that to you don't first 0.98

00:34:35.000 go oh my god she's bitter maybe maybe we've seen some shit you know what i mean i mean you are 0.98

00:34:39.840 bitter but let's not i mean you're not going on tiktok airing out your husband's dirty laundry 0.99

00:34:45.940 without being a little bit let's not and good luck and i'm proud of you no matter what you do

00:34:50.560 oh here's the kicker would i do it again absolutely absolutely 100 we'll never regret the time we

00:34:56.020 never learn we never learn got to spend with my kids i just probably would have put away a little

00:35:00.660 money or maybe ask for more when i got divorced do you own your own home in illinois i have an ad

00:35:05.940 guys still paying for electricity um but yeah that's just a common trend that i really saw

00:35:14.420 i have a couple more examples i was going to show give me one second uh not this one

00:35:20.420 this one i believe thing away there's a recent trend of um videos circulating on here about 0.95

00:35:36.660 trad wives and you know how you don't see women in their 40s and 50s glamorizing that life 0.95

00:35:43.940 and uh yeah because it sucks i

00:35:48.180 huh okay um was a trad wife and i never expected that i would be one um i kind of

00:35:59.260 ended up oh somewhat against my will um around my one year anniversary i was told

00:36:08.960 your job is stressing you out too much you are taking it out on me it's sabotaging the marriage

00:36:19.540 and you have to make a choice i remember where i was sitting what i was eating when that

00:36:26.720 conversation went down and the sinking and so women respond 0.61

00:36:31.460 very quickly to social shame. So if you say or indicate that a woman is a bad person for making 0.99

00:36:41.840 a choice, a lot of times they make the other choice. So in this case, she's going to say that

00:36:47.520 she feels like a bad person if she doesn't quit her job for her family. Now, would you say that

00:36:54.620 was the right thing to do, I would say yes. But my point is not necessarily right or wrong.

00:37:05.260 It's know thyself. And she couldn't keep the mask on. And she was in the role of a wife. She was

00:37:15.240 married, but she was not a wife. And there's a difference. Feeling I had and I didn't want

00:37:24.060 to give up my very successful high-earning career,

00:37:30.660 but I thought, what kind of person would I be

00:37:33.900 if I chose a job over family?

00:37:40.080 So I chose family and 10 years later,

00:37:44.840 I realized that it completely destroyed my life.

00:37:49.500 Always keep a job, always have some sort of way

00:37:54.060 to have an income stream get paid for what you're doing make sure there are protections

00:38:04.780 make sure things get titled in your name don't believe the future faking

00:38:11.980 don't get your foot out of your career take care of yourself yeah it so why does she think that 0.75

00:38:21.820 because you would think that we would want the best for our children and 0.98

00:38:31.480 giving up something for your children would be an overall good thing that you

00:38:35.180 would not regret but again it goes back to at her core she's a selfish person

00:38:41.340 and she cares more about her needs than others and so she was playing a role 0.97

00:38:49.200 she was not qualified for it'd be nice and fun to take care of your husband and

00:38:55.700 you can still do that but always take care of yourself because the tides turn 0.76

00:39:04.020 real fucking fast especially when they're holding all the cards and they

00:39:10.020 want you to do things a certain way and after and so one thing I learned about 0.98

00:39:15.060 femininity is that part of it is letting go of control so it's not nagging to try

00:39:20.820 to bully the guy into doing something or trying to control his behavior in any 1.00

00:39:27.000 way and that's tough that's very tough for women we we love to control things

00:39:33.240 that is very hard and so a lot of women like a lot of us are not honest with

00:39:40.860 ourselves about the level of control that we're willing to give up so that's what she's going to

00:39:52.160 say after years of doing it his way years and years of doing it a certain way you decide to

00:39:58.060 stand up for yourself and the poor husband's like i thought things were going good i thought we had

00:40:05.380 And this is what I mean where men, they're blindsided by it because they don't, a lot of guys don't realize who their wife was before they met them and the years of resentment.

00:40:19.300 We have a tendency to live in the past, so we'll bring up arguments from years ago, we'll bring up things from years ago.

00:40:27.960 um and yeah and so then a lot of guys come home and one day the wife is just gone

00:40:36.300 kids are gone now they're divorced so enjoy the decline everybody they fall out of love with you 0.52

00:40:43.220 real fucking fast so take care of yourself always the other thing i yeah okay um let me see i think 0.66

00:40:55.620 I have one more I can show you guys are you guys starting to understand the concept though 0.96

00:41:00.840 this and this was just you interview so many people that you just you can almost predict

00:41:08.520 their answers and I would find that if a woman got divorced over a certain age she felt like

00:41:15.560 she lost who she was and to me that indicated that she was not honest about who she was from

00:41:21.360 the start there are a lot of games people play and seduction right in order to get what they want

00:41:27.600 from the opposite sex and sometimes that leads people to pretending to be different a different

00:41:36.720 person in that process let me oh this is the other one she was in our thumbnail 1.00

00:41:45.120 women in their 40s who get divorces and kind of change their life and switch gears 0.98

00:41:50.560 and they're being accused of having a midlife crisis no they are returning to who their feral 0.87

00:41:57.040 little heart always would have been had the world not kind of pushed and shoved them into this box

00:42:04.480 we kind of follow the path and do everything that's right and be a good girl and marry somebody

00:42:09.360 and have kids and all these things and then you realize okay but when does life get fulfilling

00:42:14.640 for me because I kind of felt you know washed away in my younger years and now in my adult years 0.98

00:42:21.320 all I do is for other people like what the fuck and you kind of wake up and realize 0.97

00:42:26.180 I put myself last for years that's what she's saying I put myself last and also another 0.98

00:42:36.860 observation I had was many times they're not really putting themselves last as much as they

00:42:43.920 think. They just don't really notice all the things other people do for them. But that's a

00:42:48.920 conversation for a different day. I'm trying to explain what it is from their perspective.

00:42:54.020 Wait a minute. It's now or never. I better take life by the horns and start doing something

00:42:58.480 or I'm just always going to have existed for nothing. So exactly why you notice you never

00:43:05.500 see trad wives in their 40s advocating for that life. And you can discredit this by calling me 0.64

00:43:11.980 whatever you want bitter jealous old gray blah blah blah this is just one woman with some 1.00

00:43:17.960 experience trying to because it's a tough job to do right and most people can't do it 0.95

00:43:25.560 it's a very hard job there's not a lot of um attention and credit from it but you know it's

00:43:34.540 very rewarding for the women the women that get it and figure it out find it very rewarding but

00:43:40.540 for everyone that gets it there's like five that don't shed light to some other women because i 0.99

00:43:44.940 wish somebody would have told me this i know that not every young girl out there is naive and stupid 1.00

00:43:51.960 and like i can't wait to serve some man i know there's some young women some jet fucking people 1.00

00:43:58.760 out there that are like man what could make me happy and i'm just trying to share some fucking 0.97

00:44:03.000 perspective because life does get fucking great and it's not as fucking scary as people would 0.87

00:44:09.820 have you believe so yeah the trad wife life it does nothing but so choices and trade-offs now 0.88

00:44:20.620 women that stayed home for 20 years tend to get a significant amount of alimony and child support

00:44:27.420 unfortunately the legal system um does punish men for taking a more traditional role and if a guy

00:44:36.300 this was a tough one when I would meet men that were put on child support and alimony or

00:44:42.660 alimony especially in their 50s and 60s I mean they're looking at working into like past their

00:44:49.980 retirements really unfortunate position to be in but now she lives in her house alone

00:44:57.240 it's probably basically paid for from her ex-husband and she gets to spend his money on 1.00

00:45:04.500 herself. When you think about it from the perspective of a

00:45:09.580 selfish person. Why would she not? All of the incentives are

00:45:18.120 there. She could a serve everyone else around her do 1.00

00:45:23.440 things for other people. And you could argue would argue that's 0.99

00:45:26.520 rewarding, right? Or she could be be alone.

00:45:30.820 serve other people and you fucking matter too and some women that's that's what they want to do so 1.00

00:45:39.600 who am i to stop you from getting your groove on stella 0.90

00:45:47.760 um actually i think this is i think this is okay for all the examples i have today

00:45:55.480 let me look at the chat really quick and then after this we are going to

00:46:01.740 do a show after on the audacity network.com so for 30 minutes we're going to maybe look at some

00:46:10.920 other videos do a couple games and yeah you can I'll interact with the chat there but let me know

00:46:19.080 what you guys think in the comments make sure you like the video on your way out and subscribe to

00:46:23.440 the channel ring that notification bell and yeah let me know what you think like

00:46:28.960 the video and I'll talk to you next time

Pearl - September 17, 2024

Some Women Are NOT PREPARED For MOTHERHOOD｜ Pearl Daily

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