Pearl - September 17, 2024Some Women Are NOT PREPARED For MOTHERHOOD｜ Pearl Daily
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Words per minute
147.44977
Harmful content
Misogyny
104
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Toxicity
23
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Hate speech
52
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Summary
In this episode, I talk about a phenomenon that I saw when I was in England, and how it can have a big impact on the way we view femininity in the modern world. I also talk about why women that have family and children tend to have better relationship outcomes, the sooner they do that, and they tend to be happier.
Transcript
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good afternoon ladies and gentlemen first of all guys if you want to support the channel
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we can bring on bigger and better guests because bringing in guests can be expensive so thank you
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guys for your patience sorry we're late today we're in the middle of nowhere so sometimes
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we got to fix wi-fi issues and that sort of thing put a one in the chat if you guys thought about
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my topic at all today which is talking about a phenomenon that I saw when I was in England but
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actually let me let me start over so for those of you that don't watch the show regularly my name
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is Pearl and I was a normal woman selling copiers in Milwaukee when I ended up quitting my job
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during COVID. During COVID I was supposed to go play volleyball overseas my season ends up getting
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canceled and I am stuck at home with my parents at my parents house jobless for a year. And in
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that period, I decided to start at the time a very small YouTube channel. And this YouTube channel
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was where I reacted to red pill content. Now, there's a lot of different factions of the
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manosphere, red pill, men's rights, that sort of content. I've seen all of it. But
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this, that content led me to going to England and finding out if some of these concepts were true
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myself. I ended up starting a YouTube live show and I interviewed a thousand people.
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These were women of different ages, ethnicities, and men.
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And it was all to talk about relationships and culture.
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And the funny thing that I learned, or the interesting thing that I learned,
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was how many people will tell you their life story if you ask the right questions?
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I don't know, maybe it's just me, or maybe it's just I know what to look for.
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But I found that I was able to get a lot of people's life story.
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And there's an interesting thing that happens when you interview so many people.
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You start to see the same archetypes of people like personalities, patterns of behavior from
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people that don't know each other but have very similar stories.
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So one story that I found to be really interesting was the pattern of behavior of women that
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were seemingly traditional and did the traditional wife thing. You know, they were a stay-at-home mom
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and one day they just end up divorcing their husbands, breaking up their entire family.
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And I know I've had the content where we say, you know, it's wrong to do that. Maybe it's selfish,
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that sort of thing. But today I'm not really trying to prescribe morality to it,
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but maybe understand why the women did what they did.
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because I said something that maybe surprised the audience.
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I said it is not better or worse to have a family,
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call her daddy, whatever. And I said, one isn't necessarily better than the other. Now,
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what did I mean by that? Obviously, we know that women that have family and children tend to have
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better relationship outcomes, the sooner they do that, and they tend to be happier. Like single
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women over the age of 45 have the highest antidepressant rates, right? So I'm not going
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to pretend there's no trends and patterns and things that I see in that
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regard. But the interesting thing that I saw when I interviewed so many people was
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that it didn't really matter what race, ethnicity, or background people had. People
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are people regardless of religion, race, or social class. And some of the
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rudest or maybe meanest women I'd ever met were from a more conservative background. And then
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you would meet a OF model who was really kind, caring, and compassionate to everyone in the room.
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So it made me realize that people maybe aren't as black and white as I thought.
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But so what we see now is an increase in femininity content.
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And there is a whole sector of YouTube dedicated to femininity.
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And during this journey, I guess, or you could say process, I really pondered a lot about
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I never really considered myself particularly feminine.
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I was really into sports. I never considered myself a girly girl. But I had a friend during
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this process that told me she became feminine. And the interesting thing was I would have femininity
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coaches on. I would have all of these different women that said they specialized in femininity,
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but none of them could really describe what it was none of them could really explain it and when
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someone says I became feminine they would never give me an in-depth detailed explanation of how
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they got there right so many women made it about hair makeup and nails and you know maybe that was
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part of it. But I didn't think it was as simple as maybe throwing on a flower dress and getting
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in the kitchen, taking off your shoes, being bare. And you see that on TikTok a lot. And so
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I started to think about the women that I considered to be the most feminine. And you
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You think of maybe a grandma, an old aunt, and they just made you feel very warm, I guess
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And what I concluded is that femininity at its core is being selfless.
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of the most feminine women that I, the, actually the most feminine woman I met in my year of shows,
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she comes on the show and she just starts like baking in my kitchen. And at first you think,
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what is this woman doing? Just baking in my kitchen. Um, but she saw that I was really
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stressed out because we had a ton of people there and she just figured that people would be hungry
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and anticipated it. No one had to tell her. And she made the best dessert. Oh my gosh,
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These desserts were so good. And I thought to myself, that is a prime example of femininity.
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Now, this woman, it wasn't like she was, she wasn't even married, right? So she was divorced.
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she wasn't married but it taught me that there is a difference between being married and being a wife
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many women get married but that doesn't necessarily mean they're a wife and that's
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that's actually something that you know she said to me um
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Okay, so what is a wife? A wife means being a support system to a man. A wife means thinking
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of others before yourself. Many women sign up for this role and are not prepared for what it entails.
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It means eating his food every day instead of yours. It means living where he wants to live
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instead of where you want to live. It means not traveling or going out because you would spend
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too much time away from your kids. It means getting married on his timeline, not yours.
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Remember, the most feminine woman I met out of a thousand women was a divorced, unmarried woman
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in a relationship, but she had that aura that makes you feel at home. And that's how I learned
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there's a difference between being married and being a wife. So what I noticed the most about
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the feminine women that I met is they were always looking to be assets and seeing how they could
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help. They never had to ask, they would just do, and they'd always think of ways to make their man's
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day better. So what does this mean? And I saw this clip or this thing on TikTok, right? And I thought
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it kind of, it's not this simple, right? But this woman said this is her routine for being a better
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wife. She said, I want to be a better wife. This is what I'm going to do to improve myself to be
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better. Wake up at 5 a.m. to prepare breakfast for your husband. Eggs, bacon, toast, coffee. Make
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sure everything's ready by 5 30. Gym from 6 to 7. Keep in shape. No excuses. Clean the entire house
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7 30 to 9 30, including vacuuming, dusting, mopping the floors. Laundry must be done daily and folded
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by 10 a.m. Prepare your lunch for your husband by noon, even if he has work. Pack it the night
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before if necessary. Dinner must be served 6.30 sharp, a fresh home-cooked meal every day, no
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takeout allowed. Be available for snacks and drinks whenever your husband or his friends are around,
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especially after 8. Snacks must be homemade. Ensure that the house is quiet after 9 p.m. for
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your husband's relaxation. No distractions during his TV time. Yeah, how many men are dying to not
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have their wife nag on them for their video games. Anyway, so go to bed by 10 p.m. to get enough
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rest, but only after making sure everything is ready the next day. Okay. So what I realized is
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I think people have a core of who they are. And, you know, one time a couple of years ago,
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I asked my dad if he thought that people changed over time. You know, I was dating a guy my dad
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didn't like too much and so I was like dad do you think people change right and he said yeah you
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know they do change they get worse so whatever bad quality you see now you better be okay to
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live with it because it's going to be worse in 20 years um and my dad just has you like wisdom
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like that that just sticks with me he's just a very wise guy I think it's because he was born
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before the social media age, they just tend to pay more attention. And so it made me think,
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most women today, and men, but especially we in particular are encouraged, and I don't want to
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phrase this as a bad thing, because it's not necessarily bad. We're encouraged to be very
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selfish. And we wake up and every decision we make is thinking about ourselves first.
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Now, I'm going to give you guys an example where this can be a good thing.
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A lawyer is not going to become partner at the firm without thinking about his self or himself
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first. He has to make sure or she that they wake up every day and they are the most energized they
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could be in order to pursue their career. Going after a career that is, you know, that high powered,
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you have to be selfish to some degree because every decision you're making is to better your
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career. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. In some ways, you can't help others before you
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help yourself. But many women, you know, you guys saw what I just read. That's not really typical in
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2024. And part of my process of interviewing a thousand women was I learned what the role of a
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traditional wife was. And I realized how few women actually fulfilled that. And I could probably
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count on maybe one hand, the amount of women that are, I know that are obedient to their husbands,
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right. Um, that don't nag him constant. Like it's almost the norm to use backhanded compliments or
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that sort of thing against men, um, or against husbands. Like, you know, you're just like your
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father. And there's other small things I noticed, like the father's side of the family always had
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a tendency to be demonized. I saw a TikTok of a girl saying, I realized that I am going to be
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dad's side of the family to my brothers. And it went super viral because everyone, because it was
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so common for the dad's side of the family to be trashed. Because women, in order to survive from
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an evolutionary point of view, reputation destruction is our biggest weapon. And what
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I realized is a lot of women do not, and not all, but a lot of women do not know themselves.
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And they are not aware that they are selfish people signing up for a selfless role. And
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And what happens is they get married and they play pretend.
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And in my opinion, you can only play pretend for so long.
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There are people that genuinely do change and get better, but I would say that's the
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So they sign up for this role and every day they have to think of their husband's needs
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So why did I say that, you know, there's no better or worse choices?
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Because through this experience, and at first I really did, I thought that every single woman, it would be better for them to have children.
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Until I met so many women that destroyed their families because they did not know their role.
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they would leave their husbands because they outgrew them there would be women there would
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be mothers that I would see at every event in London just on their stories or and I would just
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think who is is watching your children you can't be an involved mother and be out four days a week
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There's just no way. Who's cooking your kids dinner? And you see this online a lot. You know,
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you see the women looking on Instagram. I've seen women looking on Instagram for a nanny.
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That's crazy. You guys are trusting. There are people that trust strangers with their children.
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So, you know, and it just made me have the thought that if these women were honest with
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themselves, they would know they just were never meant to be mothers because they were too selfish
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for that role. And I didn't necessarily think they were bad people. Sometimes they were kind
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people. They were nice enough. But you could just tell every decision in their life was for
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themselves and so what happens is these women and i saw this with um the lauren southern so you have
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um she's a media like a she was a big right-wing media political commentator and you spend years
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she spends years traveling the world building up her career not a bad thing right but and then signs
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up for a role where you have to think about everyone else's needs first. And if you haven't
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practiced for that role, a lot of women get overwhelmed or they get sick of playing a role
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that they weren't built for after 20 years and then end up leaving their husbands and their
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families. And you see this in a lot of their videos. The interesting thing is I tell you guys
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this stuff. And you can go on TikTok and find a woman just admitting this. And the phrases that
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they tend to use is, I lost myself. And when you first hear that, you think, that sounds crazy.
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What do you mean you lost yourself? But what you come to understand is what they're actually saying
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is I was a person before I got married. I got married and part of getting married is giving up
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parts of yourself. If you were a woman and you used to go to the club every weekend,
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part of getting married is giving that up and watching your kids.
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And they miss that old version of themselves. And maybe they had friends and they watched their
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friends do all the things that they wished they could do. Maybe it's pursuing hobbies. Maybe it's
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going to the club. Maybe it's that. And then at 40 or 45, I think the average age of first divorce
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is 37. But you see an uptick of young marriages end around 29, 30 for women. So that's oftentimes
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Sometimes if they marry before 25, that's the first one.
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And that's what I realized is that they were fooling themselves into thinking they were
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And the other issue is we're attracted to 10% of men.
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So a lot of the, you know, if you go higher and higher up the success hierarchy and the
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options hierarchy of men the less i guess bs the guy is going to put up with because
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you can be easily replaced so some of the women were pretty good looking but if you go after say
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a corporate attorney and you get to marry him or you get to be his wife right
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to, you're not going to get your way as much as say if you married, I don't know, a more laid
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back job, maybe an engineer, something like that, right? Those guys tend to be a little
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more laid back. But the problem was, as women, a lot of times we don't think a lot of this stuff
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through where maybe they liked the guy, but they didn't, they were not realistic about
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who they were and what kind of lifestyle they'd want to lead.
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So I'm going to check the chat really quick because I'm going to show you guys a couple
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Yeah, that's what, and I'm going to keep doing the interviewing a thousand women series.
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until I stopped thinking of things because this whole experience was just it was just so crazy
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guys yeah wait until she says you stole my youth and on the surface this sounds crazy and it
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totally is it's completely entitled but that's how the woman feels she feels as though she spent her
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youth on something she thought she wanted and she really didn't. Now, you get two outcomes in life
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from the women that choose to be a traditional way. The first woman is grateful for having the
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opportunity to serve. So again, this kind of goes back to what I was saying with the
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And if she's selfless, she's grateful for having that role.
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and cannot overcome it, what happens to them
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is they get really bitter and really resentful.
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And that's where you hear the, what about all I did for you?
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That's the type of women that tend to throw it in your face.
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And again, who is to say that which is better or worse?
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Let me, how many women cheat and abuse their spouse?
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it's a good idea for them to raise children?
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And this is a serious question for conservatives
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because you hear marriage and family is the answer.
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And I'm not saying it's not for a lot of people.
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I could not see them raising children and being good at it.
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Okay, now I'm going to pull up a couple of examples.
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of examples because oh it's under oh this one okay so
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okay make sure this is not sometimes i put stuff on two acts
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single mom in your 40s pipeline yes that's being exposed so what do y'all know about how i spent
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my 20s so this is a conversation that's being had but a lot of the stories right now are like well
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he left me with four kids whatever whatever so i left but let's talk about how i yeah
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welcome to coffee talk with your host linda richmond it's like two in the afternoon so
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today we are actually having a dr pepper talk so that's all right all right all right you know
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what i mean but you thought i was going to come with receipts wait wow see this is why the guys
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will say vetting women doesn't work because one day you get the left one day you get the right
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you would that's the other thing you would be surprised how much people's opinions change in
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their lifetime but let me let me keep going i can't look like that anymore so obviously the
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environment i was raised in was fairly conservative with a lot of gender roles and a lot of stuff like
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that right but i was raised by essentially a single mother even though you know she's married
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sometimes and stuff like okay so this is another phenomenon i saw i would meet people from
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traditional countries and i would meet a lot of second generation um immigrants that were like
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their parents were from a more traditional country and I couldn't count
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the number of times that I heard them say that the traditional mother who was
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married to her husband for 30 years told the daughter not to get married or to
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delay that as soon as possible or another one is that the stay-at-home mom
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as a single mother so yeah yeah and so when I grew up and had my own kids my
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trauma response to things that I was lacking in my childhood was to go
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completely the other way like I'm not gonna work I'm gonna be the president of
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the PT I'm gonna be there 24 7 all of that stuff which I was happy when I was
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okay so her early childhood is what it's very selfish not bad right there's
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nothing wrong with doing that stuff but all the decisions she's talking about are for herself
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it wasn't this thing that i was like oh my god you know what i mean but looking back there was
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no me in there you know i started working really young so i'd already had quite a career so when
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i met my second ex-husband we decided to get married we decided we wanted to do things old
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school we wanted to do the traditional gender roles he went to work i stayed home with the
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kids and all of this stuff and at first it was amazing and i got to do everything i wanted to
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do and i could make the kids you know my kids never ate baby food that wasn't something that
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i made and stuff like that which was an amazing part of it but as time went on i realized she
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reverted back to her original self because you can only put up an act for so long i was not in any way
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an equal part of our home it started with like smaller things that you know
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you wouldn't necessarily just like oh okay well it's his job and you know I
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am the one who stays home and this is for me and I need to figure this out
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like um you know I need you to watch the kids for me once a week so I go to
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therapy no okay now she's starting to get entitled and resentful I want this
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and again when you meet the super feminine women it's it's just a
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different experience they they're um they make you feel so warm and they
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would never throw it in your face if they do something nice for you you know
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I might have to work I can't commit to that okay I want to go to college I
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never you know I never got to do that I started working really young and did all
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that stuff oh well so she saw her friends go to college and she thought
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wow i want to go to college starts to resent the husband even more who's going to pay for it
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who's going to pay okay and one of the biggest wake-up calls i got was when my son was going
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through his diagnosis journey and because of the values that we're rocking on it was oh no there's
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nothing you just wanted to you just want that like wouldn't even go to appointments with me
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wouldn't entertain even though things were pretty obvious things were you know doing a thing and and
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so it just really over so the mindset a more traditional woman would have is that she's happy
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to help where a woman that's a bit more modern is going to be is going to resent her husband for not
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doing the things with her time it was really really clear that even though i had someone paying
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my bills i was completely on my own and i also hadn't created any nest egg i hadn't done anything
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for myself like i started cosplaying to put away a little money and doing stuff like that but the
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more and the more i got out into the outside world and started saying things or repeating things i
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realized this is not kosher. But once I started trying to work more outside of the home and put
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away an SDG and do that sort of stuff, guess what? No one's sharing domestic duties with me. So then
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you're in trouble all the time and getting baskets of laundry dumped on your head because this is
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your job. And you know, it was really a traumatic time. But then after all those years of suppressing
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who I really was, guess what happened? I lost my ever living shit. I lost my absolute ever living
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shit. Had a complete nervous breakdown. They crash. I mean, think about how exhausting it's
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gotta be to be someone you're not. And that's, I guess, sometimes why I poke fun at the
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corn star overnight preachers. I mean, this is why we roll our eyes at that kind of stuff,
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because a conversion story is great, and I'm sure it happens, but there's a saying that
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a tiger never changes his stripes or something like that.
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Maybe it's a leopard, never changes his spots, hides his, I don't, you guys have to remember
00:30:05.500
And so it's exhausting to them because they're trying to be something that they're not.
00:30:13.380
And then 20 years later, they say, I wish I miss who I was before all of this.
00:30:22.100
And that's why I say, know thyself, know who you are.
00:30:24.940
um was not anyone that i wanted to be for a couple years and all because i spent a long time
00:30:33.760
so sometimes guys when we say mumbo jumbo and they're like that makes no sense
0.98
00:30:42.560
i can decipher it you're welcome i can decipher it fuck i needed and not taking care of myself
0.98
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and not setting up a future for myself yeah so again she has a more selfish mindset um
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and she's saying i did not set up a future for myself and i didn't take care of myself so
00:31:06.760
she did not know the role that she was signing up for now people of modern marriages they figure out
00:31:13.400
all different types of stuff. We have air fryers and Roombas now. There's different ways of living,
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00:31:19.160
right? People come up with all different types of solutions. But this was just one pattern that I saw
00:31:27.080
in the women that opted for something, but they were not that. And again, it's not to say right
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or wrong. It's just saying if a woman like this knew herself a little bit better and was honest
00:31:45.460
about what she wanted, you know, maybe she would just go get the equal partner that she was looking
00:31:52.300
for and they could go do that. But that's not the type of woman that's really qualified for what he
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00:31:59.700
was asking for and trust me there's a lot of there's a lot of guys out there they won't
00:32:05.060
they want to do the 50 50 they're like i'm not i'm not saying all but there there's a there's
00:32:12.920
enough i mean this would be like a perfect cougar woman she totally would be this is like the type
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of woman that would date a guy 20 years younger and it would be a win-win for both because the
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young guy would get the kinky stuff whatever and because the guy the girl's his age don't want him
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and then the old lady gets the attractive guy and she doesn't have to listen to him boom
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00:32:37.200
problem solved lady now they would obviously end badly but you know it could keep her entertained
00:32:43.720
for like a decade i think that's a win-win no i'm not saying don't do this but what i'm saying is
00:32:47.940
is just make sure you're going to therapy deconstructing your stuff and i'm talking
00:32:50.980
somewhere outside of like church and stuff like that because that's who I was talking to too
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and there's more women who have my story or who have similar stories or even heat left or whatever
0.65
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then there are that have the other one and that's why like this video had said which I
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strongly suggest go watch it yeah and I would agree that's why I said out of a thousand women
00:33:11.060
how many would I say were traditional or feminine
00:33:15.620
maybe 10, 15. And it's because it's not, it's because one, our society doesn't
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reward, I guess, or we've really lost family values as a society. So we don't really
00:33:39.740
reward being selfless or maybe sorry I'm trying to let me let me phrase that better
00:33:48.520
one our society does not encourage people to be selfless and we're told being selfish is a good
00:33:56.520
thing and two I think emotions are something that people struggle with and they're very
00:34:05.520
difficult to overcome so i would say it's more the exception than the rule to find truly selfless
00:34:14.020
people people that think about everyone else before themselves and it's not a bad thing it's
00:34:19.720
not one one's not necessarily better or worse they just have different outcomes you don't see
00:34:25.780
women my age really advocating for this lifestyle like i think it's cool if that's what you want to
0.74
00:34:29.960
do just make sure that you cya and when someone my age says something like that to you don't first
0.98
00:34:35.000
go oh my god she's bitter maybe maybe we've seen some shit you know what i mean i mean you are
0.98
00:34:39.840
bitter but let's not i mean you're not going on tiktok airing out your husband's dirty laundry
0.99
00:34:45.940
without being a little bit let's not and good luck and i'm proud of you no matter what you do
00:34:50.560
oh here's the kicker would i do it again absolutely absolutely 100 we'll never regret the time we
00:34:56.020
never learn we never learn got to spend with my kids i just probably would have put away a little
00:35:00.660
money or maybe ask for more when i got divorced do you own your own home in illinois i have an ad
00:35:05.940
guys still paying for electricity um but yeah that's just a common trend that i really saw
00:35:14.420
i have a couple more examples i was going to show give me one second uh not this one
00:35:20.420
this one i believe thing away there's a recent trend of um videos circulating on here about
0.95
00:35:36.660
trad wives and you know how you don't see women in their 40s and 50s glamorizing that life
0.95
00:35:48.180
huh okay um was a trad wife and i never expected that i would be one um i kind of
00:35:59.260
ended up oh somewhat against my will um around my one year anniversary i was told
00:36:08.960
your job is stressing you out too much you are taking it out on me it's sabotaging the marriage
00:36:19.540
and you have to make a choice i remember where i was sitting what i was eating when that
00:36:26.720
conversation went down and the sinking and so women respond
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very quickly to social shame. So if you say or indicate that a woman is a bad person for making
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a choice, a lot of times they make the other choice. So in this case, she's going to say that
00:36:47.520
she feels like a bad person if she doesn't quit her job for her family. Now, would you say that
00:36:54.620
was the right thing to do, I would say yes. But my point is not necessarily right or wrong.
00:37:05.260
It's know thyself. And she couldn't keep the mask on. And she was in the role of a wife. She was
00:37:15.240
married, but she was not a wife. And there's a difference. Feeling I had and I didn't want
00:37:24.060
to give up my very successful high-earning career,
00:37:44.840
I realized that it completely destroyed my life.
00:37:49.500
Always keep a job, always have some sort of way
00:37:54.060
to have an income stream get paid for what you're doing make sure there are protections
00:38:04.780
make sure things get titled in your name don't believe the future faking
00:38:11.980
don't get your foot out of your career take care of yourself yeah it so why does she think that
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because you would think that we would want the best for our children and
0.98
00:38:31.480
giving up something for your children would be an overall good thing that you
00:38:35.180
would not regret but again it goes back to at her core she's a selfish person
00:38:41.340
and she cares more about her needs than others and so she was playing a role
0.97
00:38:49.200
she was not qualified for it'd be nice and fun to take care of your husband and
00:38:55.700
you can still do that but always take care of yourself because the tides turn
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real fucking fast especially when they're holding all the cards and they
00:39:10.020
want you to do things a certain way and after and so one thing I learned about
0.98
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femininity is that part of it is letting go of control so it's not nagging to try
00:39:20.820
to bully the guy into doing something or trying to control his behavior in any
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way and that's tough that's very tough for women we we love to control things
00:39:33.240
that is very hard and so a lot of women like a lot of us are not honest with
00:39:40.860
ourselves about the level of control that we're willing to give up so that's what she's going to
00:39:52.160
say after years of doing it his way years and years of doing it a certain way you decide to
00:39:58.060
stand up for yourself and the poor husband's like i thought things were going good i thought we had
00:40:05.380
And this is what I mean where men, they're blindsided by it because they don't, a lot of guys don't realize who their wife was before they met them and the years of resentment.
00:40:19.300
We have a tendency to live in the past, so we'll bring up arguments from years ago, we'll bring up things from years ago.
00:40:27.960
um and yeah and so then a lot of guys come home and one day the wife is just gone
00:40:36.300
kids are gone now they're divorced so enjoy the decline everybody they fall out of love with you
0.52
00:40:43.220
real fucking fast so take care of yourself always the other thing i yeah okay um let me see i think
0.66
00:40:55.620
I have one more I can show you guys are you guys starting to understand the concept though
0.96
00:41:00.840
this and this was just you interview so many people that you just you can almost predict
00:41:08.520
their answers and I would find that if a woman got divorced over a certain age she felt like
00:41:15.560
she lost who she was and to me that indicated that she was not honest about who she was from
00:41:21.360
the start there are a lot of games people play and seduction right in order to get what they want
00:41:27.600
from the opposite sex and sometimes that leads people to pretending to be different a different
00:41:36.720
person in that process let me oh this is the other one she was in our thumbnail
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00:41:45.120
women in their 40s who get divorces and kind of change their life and switch gears
0.98
00:41:50.560
and they're being accused of having a midlife crisis no they are returning to who their feral
0.87
00:41:57.040
little heart always would have been had the world not kind of pushed and shoved them into this box
00:42:04.480
we kind of follow the path and do everything that's right and be a good girl and marry somebody
00:42:09.360
and have kids and all these things and then you realize okay but when does life get fulfilling
00:42:14.640
for me because I kind of felt you know washed away in my younger years and now in my adult years
0.98
00:42:21.320
all I do is for other people like what the fuck and you kind of wake up and realize
0.97
00:42:26.180
I put myself last for years that's what she's saying I put myself last and also another
0.98
00:42:36.860
observation I had was many times they're not really putting themselves last as much as they
00:42:43.920
think. They just don't really notice all the things other people do for them. But that's a
00:42:48.920
conversation for a different day. I'm trying to explain what it is from their perspective.
00:42:54.020
Wait a minute. It's now or never. I better take life by the horns and start doing something
00:42:58.480
or I'm just always going to have existed for nothing. So exactly why you notice you never
00:43:05.500
see trad wives in their 40s advocating for that life. And you can discredit this by calling me
0.64
00:43:11.980
whatever you want bitter jealous old gray blah blah blah this is just one woman with some
1.00
00:43:17.960
experience trying to because it's a tough job to do right and most people can't do it
0.95
00:43:25.560
it's a very hard job there's not a lot of um attention and credit from it but you know it's
00:43:34.540
very rewarding for the women the women that get it and figure it out find it very rewarding but
00:43:40.540
for everyone that gets it there's like five that don't shed light to some other women because i
0.99
00:43:44.940
wish somebody would have told me this i know that not every young girl out there is naive and stupid
1.00
00:43:51.960
and like i can't wait to serve some man i know there's some young women some jet fucking people
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00:43:58.760
out there that are like man what could make me happy and i'm just trying to share some fucking
0.97
00:44:03.000
perspective because life does get fucking great and it's not as fucking scary as people would
0.87
00:44:09.820
have you believe so yeah the trad wife life it does nothing but so choices and trade-offs now
0.88
00:44:20.620
women that stayed home for 20 years tend to get a significant amount of alimony and child support
00:44:27.420
unfortunately the legal system um does punish men for taking a more traditional role and if a guy
00:44:36.300
this was a tough one when I would meet men that were put on child support and alimony or
00:44:42.660
alimony especially in their 50s and 60s I mean they're looking at working into like past their
00:44:49.980
retirements really unfortunate position to be in but now she lives in her house alone
00:44:57.240
it's probably basically paid for from her ex-husband and she gets to spend his money on
1.00
00:45:04.500
herself. When you think about it from the perspective of a
00:45:09.580
selfish person. Why would she not? All of the incentives are
00:45:18.120
there. She could a serve everyone else around her do
1.00
00:45:23.440
things for other people. And you could argue would argue that's
0.99
00:45:30.820
serve other people and you fucking matter too and some women that's that's what they want to do so
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00:45:39.600
who am i to stop you from getting your groove on stella
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um actually i think this is i think this is okay for all the examples i have today
00:45:55.480
let me look at the chat really quick and then after this we are going to
00:46:01.740
do a show after on the audacity network.com so for 30 minutes we're going to maybe look at some
00:46:10.920
other videos do a couple games and yeah you can I'll interact with the chat there but let me know
00:46:19.080
what you guys think in the comments make sure you like the video on your way out and subscribe to
00:46:23.440
the channel ring that notification bell and yeah let me know what you think like