Pearl - May 14, 2026STREET TALK： Should Wives Obey Their Husbands？
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Summary
In this episode of Street Talks, we are outside of Watermark Community Church, asking Christian women the question, should Christian women obey their husbands? Do you think Christian women should obey Christian husbands? Why not? What does the Bible say about this and why does it matter?
Transcript
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The word obey, I think, just has, like, in this world, has such a negative connotation.
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We would just say right here, just to protect the worship experience on a Sunday morning,
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What up, guys? Welcome to another episode of Street Talks.
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Today, we are outside of Watermark Community Church,
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Okay, yes, well, I don't know about the word obey,
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but they definitely are the head of the household.
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So it's God and then your husband and then you.
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But you guys are equal in terms of value as humans.
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And you rely on each other and submit to each other as you would to Christ.
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Do you think it's okay for women to tell their husbands what to do?
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Husbands should definitely ask and value our opinions.
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But ultimately they get to make the final decision.
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my answer is it all depends on the man i believe that you have to be aligned with the holy spirit
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with god and because it's gonna it's gonna uh if a man obeys god by nature he doesn't have to
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demand the woman to obey it comes naturally so if he aligns with everything that the lord says
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that god says his word says by nature or women will obey the man just like the laws of of what
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god says you know that shall not kill of course when we're aligned with the lord everything falls
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naturally so yes i do believe as long as the man is aligned with the god with the word of god no
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right or wrong answers no gotchas just we want to know people's thoughts on the question um should
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christian women obey their husbands if yes why if no why not um i think it's a weirdly worded
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question because i don't think it's obey it's like they're partners um so husband and wives are
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partners in marriage um and so when they make a covenant with one another in the same way that
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it's a representation of the trinity which is god the father god the son god the holy spirit and so
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the son submitted to the father that's why he died on the cross for our sins and so he submitted to
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him but there's not a difference in like god the father god the son god the holy spirit because
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they're all the same they're one they're a triune god so it's a representation of jesus to god and
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so it's a different it's it's a weirdly worded question because wives don't just obey their
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husbands, but in the same way that Christ submitted to his father, a woman would submit to
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her husband. However, but a godly man who is submitted, who lays his life down just like
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Christ, then he would not be in any way overpowering, abusive, or any of those things.
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And so they work together. And so it's a weirdly worded question. Does that make sense?
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What's weirdly worded about it? Like what's wrong with the word obey?
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Because obey immediate means that there's like a master and it's like, hey, you must do what
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this person says you have to do, but that's not what the Bible teaches. Does that make sense?
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So it doesn't teach to obey your husband in all things? No, it does not. Okay. What does it say?
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It says to submit. And so if you understand what submit, it's almost like a yielding to. So it's
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like a, Hey, in the same way that you would yield to traffic, it's not that you completely stop.
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You don't ever move on, but it's emerging onto a yielding to in the same way. Like I said,
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that Jesus submits to the father. And so it's a, it's, it's a different word than obey when you
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look like the different definitions and stuff. So we're just asking the question, do you think
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that Christian women should obey their husbands? If yes, why? If no, why? I think when you get
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married that yes, you should obey your husband. I think it's called that also as Christian women
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that is talked about in the Bible to obey their husbands and follow their lead.
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That doesn't take anything away from them as a woman, as a wife, but yes, that they follow the
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lead of their husband and what's what they're called to in in the bible what do you think of
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the question though obey not obey so for me like i think it's the should i think out of
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see i'm not very good at like having it's okay i mean there's no right or wrong because
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because of what christ has done for me on the cross and having a husband who's also a believer
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But it's not a, I'm obeying him because he's over me.
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I mean, if he's leading as Christ leads the church, then why wouldn't I want to follow him?
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Do you think you can be obedient and still tell a guy what to do?
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I mean, I feel like David and I have a great relationship that if there's something that I feel like because the Holy Spirit in me,
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if there's something I see off that I should speak up, like that's my role.
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He often says that I'm his voice of reason, and sometimes that I will help him see something in a different way.
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But I feel like that, as believers, that's right.
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You want to talk about the question of the day, guys?
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Free will. It's America. You should be able to do whatever you want.
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Loving man, gentle spirit, patient, love is kind, love is patient, love is not rude, love does not demand.
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So, just question, a lot of times when I hear that, it's very broad.
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so i'd like specific okay so obviously abuse we know that's not following god but and when i say
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abuse it's hitting her yes okay or verbal or mental it's it goes abuse is also big abroad
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yeah but what like okay is because i think a lot of times we don't talk about female abuse which
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is like excessive nagging telling them what to do all the time that's also the same thing yes and
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I think just in a marriage, like you're kind of bound to do something borderline abusive at some
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point verbally, right? I just think over time that's bound to happen. So like, how do you
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determine, you know, when you should follow him and when you shouldn't? I think he's a man,
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right? He's not perfect. I think that's where the woman comes into place and just, uh, our job is
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to pray for our husbands and allow God to change his heart while he allows, while he changes our
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heart so it's both even you know i mean i believe that we're supposed to give the same grace that
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god's given us and i believe that if he is a man of god he will listen he'll listen to the holy
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spirit and that's where us women i do believe that you know women have a big part you know
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and our part is to obey god and obey our husbands however not to where the extreme of where it's
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manipulation or you know um that's where you have to really believe it's that's where unity
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comes in you know i think it's a beautiful thing for women to use their gifts in order to care
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for women but the thing is is like if there are bible studies that are gossiping and stuff then
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yes we should call that out because that is a sin isn't there a verse about women being silent in
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the back of the church but do you know the context of that what is the context i'm asking you because
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you're quoting it and so do you know the context or do you just like cherry pick and like i cherry
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pick all the time okay why is that why do you cherry pick just why don't why don't you tell
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me the context yeah but you used it so i was trying to ask you i'm just i'm cherry picking
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okay so so when you look at the context of that it was because those women were gossiping they
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were divisive those specific women and so there's there's stuff in scripture where it's prescriptive
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and descriptive so it's like prescribing something to us or describing some women today are not
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gossipy. Not all. I've never met a woman in my life that does not gossip. Okay. So you gossip
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too? Every woman does. Okay. I think you don't, you don't, you don't gossip ever. No, I'm saying
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like, Hey, but if I do, I go ask for forgiveness. We have a thing here that we call the kind of our
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24 hour principle. Like if I come and say like, Hey Susie over here, she's getting on my nerves
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or whatever. Um, like we really encourage people to say like, Hey, we want you to specifically
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like go and talk to that person. Like if you're going to be sharing information here or you're
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frustrated with them or you're upset with them, we encourage you to like go and have that
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conversation with her. Um, like that's what we're going to encourage you to do because we do believe
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gossip is something that creates, creates divine. Yeah, I totally agree. I have a hard time
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believing there's special women at this church that are different from women everywhere or
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churches everywhere. Um, should Christian women obey their husbands? I think the answer is yes.
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And I think it's a mutual answer because I believe that husbands should honor their wives.
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And I believe that women should obey their husband.
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But at the end, we're all to obey Christ and do as the Bible has instructed us to do.
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So I don't think it's a negative term to say obey your wife or to obey your husband or children to obey your parents.
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So, yeah, I would say no different than we are to obey God,
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that women should honor their husbands and men should honor their wives.
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Do you feel like that all of us fall short of the glory of God every day, though?
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So do you believe that certain sins are above other sins?
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like is that um i just would say that women when you've aborted an eighth of the world population
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that's pretty bad so i would say like females are just sitting in public like they're dressing half
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naked to church i don't know i'm not saying this one you guys have actually been pretty good but
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in general like um women have a lot of power in society we have the most buying power political
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power um and the issue you get is you kind of see what happens when women get power
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a third of women have an std an eighth um a third of women wait sorry you can't one's a third one's
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a quarter a quarter of women have had have an std a third of women have had an abortion we've
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aborted an eighth of the world population we're in mountains of debt we have glut like amazon like
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we have gluttonous spending habits and it's just not the same for men what do you see for
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men? They don't abort an eighth of the world population. Do they support it though? Do they
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pay for it? No, because it's mostly women that vote for it. They have to pay for it. They have
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no choice. It comes out of taxpayer dollars a lot of the time. Like in different states?
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I mean, here's the thing. It's like we live in a fallen, broken world where abortion exists,
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where abuse exists where pornography exists where all these things exist like the bible tells us
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that things like this are going to happen where we live in a fallen broken world um and so that's
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why we as believers as christians instead of just calling out sin and being kind of sin hunters like
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we want to offer them the grace of jesus and saying like hey like there's forgiveness of sins
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there's grace there's mercy like and so that's why we try here really hard to say like hey if
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that's your story like come find the true healer which is jesus and so we can point out all the
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You just asked, like, why I think women sin more than men.
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I mean, which kind of lines up with the order of the world, right?
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Have you found that, like, asking these questions, like, what does it produce?
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Like, what's the hope in, like, asking these questions?
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For me, I don't understand why obey is such a controversial word.
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So, and I think there's a lot of discourse online and, um, I like to see is what's online,
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And so I like to go into real life and talk to people.
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It's, I'm not trying to make people look bad or get a gotcha.
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Um, I can't, I can't help how like small channels clip it.
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Like I don't see that at all or hear that at all.
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How can a woman be obedient if she's telling him what to do?
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I don't know if she's telling him what to do.
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Yeah, like if you're saying you need to do this.
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I think we're getting like really complicated on a non-complicated thing.
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Like you're saying like the 51% should go to be the highest, most disagreement ever.
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You saying like, hey, can you take out the trash?
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I'm not saying that's a healthy, that's not a healthy dynamic to begin with.
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You could be like, you know, some women tell their husbands to spend less money or spend it on.
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Like the whole point is telling him what to do.
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How can you be obedient if you're telling him what to do?
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I think some of it's like heart posture, right?
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Like telling him what to do versus coming together and mutually deciding something are very different things.
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I think it is a dangerous precedent in any relationship to work from a heart posture of telling something what to do.
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I think saying like hey I need you to take out the trash or as a family we need to steward God's
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money better and this is how we steward it is vastly different than me telling you what to do
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yeah but when are women good with money I think we should start doing bows for our boyfriends and
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husbands we can bow to them that's crazy what you want to bow to your boyfriend and husband yeah I
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like I like to give a little bow before I give him food why just to show some submission you know
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i do not agree with that i think we bow to god we can bow to bow to him you know you think he's
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equal to god no but close scripture tells us to not have any other gods or idols that's why i said
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just under just under yeah just under well okay pearl right yeah yes okay well it's nice to meet
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you nice to meet you yes glad we got to talk so last question if the pastor tells the woman one
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thing and the husband says another, who should she listen to? Which one is biblical? Well,
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the Bible is up to interpretation, right? I know every, I've been to a lot of churches and everyone
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thinks that like their interpretation is correct. So I don't think we could like sit here and say
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it's like cut and dry because there's so much argument about it. So I'm saying the pastor says
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one thing, the husband says another, who should she listen to? They both are interpreting in a
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different way? Well, I mean, I think scholars go back over time and they do debate the Bible. I
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think if Jesus, if it's interpreted as the words of Jesus and it's correctly interpreted, I would
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say whichever one is biblical. Right. But she's got to pick one. She's, they both are saying
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they're biblical. I mean, it would come down to a case by case basis, but it would, it would go
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back to truth in the book of God. What do you think about women telling their husbands what to
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do? Can you still be obedient if you tell your husband what to do? I think there's a way to have
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a conversation and talk it out and be able to express what their thoughts are in a situation,
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so what their views are. There is an opportunity for them to have that and express their views or
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their differences in a conversation, just like you would have a conversation with someone else.
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Well, I'm not married, so I don't have a ton of thoughts.
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But I do think Scripture is clear where it says to submit to your husband.
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What that means isn't necessarily do what they say and only what they say,
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because the other side of that is they're supposed to care and love for their wives.
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And so it's as Jesus is the head of the church, so is the man of the household.
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And yet women have come along as the helper and completer of that.
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And so I think it's actually a beautiful working together kind of thing.
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As you're asking people to speak this, are you telling them that they're going to be on YouTube or anything?
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I mean, it's pretty obvious with a mic and a camera.
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My short answer would be like, I would hope that a Christian woman and man would work in concert as a team.
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inside the confines of marriage is that an answer does that count do you think that christian women
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should obey their husbands what do you define as obedience submit to as in like being inferior
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sure um women are christian women are not necessarily inferior to their husbands however
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there's a verse in the bible that says you should honor your husband and the husband should honor
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the wife so that looks in a form of like obedience of kind of looking to them as the male of the
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household or like the greater maybe like decision maker but also the man also has that responsibility
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for the woman do you think it's in a woman's place to tell a man what to do no
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that's pretty good actually i didn't think okay just context youtube channel i'm single
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and not the right person to ask this but i feel like even being single a lot of people are very
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like independent and like even as a woman i'm looking for a man who i guess like is strong
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and like wants to take charge and so that's all what do you think about like women telling their
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husbands to do the chores in the house um i mean i think they should definitely like again it goes
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back to like honoring each other so like hopefully that like the man is willing to help out for the
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greater good of the household but like it should also be like both hurt people last one before the
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wind takes us do you think it's okay for women to tell their husbands what to do no not in that way
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absolutely not i believe that there's a way i believe that you can suggest and say hey honey
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you know what about this you know but not tell them what to do i don't believe that all right
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guys thanks for watching the weather is gonna take us out today so we gotta go but thank you
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so much for watching let me know what you think in the comments also no bashing the people in
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the interviews we're trying to keep it nice so people keep doing these interviews with us
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and but you can put your thoughts below respectfully like the video i'll see you next time