Pearl - May 15, 2026
Terrible Wives Speak Out About Being Awful
Episode Stats
Words per minute
209.89366
Harmful content
Misogyny
13
sentences flagged
Toxicity
34
sentences flagged
Hate speech
11
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, I m talking about how I ve been a terrible wife, and how I m learning to be a better one. I m not perfect, and I mess up a lot, but I m growing into the woman I am today.
Transcript
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she's talking about her thing as her kids like crying in the background what's going on guys
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i've been saying for a while that most women are actually horrible wives and mothers and too long
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we have pushed this narrative that women are nurturing and good parents and even the better
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parents which is absolutely ridiculous so today we actually have women admitting they were terrible
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wives um so i do love it when women have some accountability um we can't all be good at
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everything and some women it's just you know being a wife wasn't in their life you know whatever the
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god gods or crier power creator had in store for them okay hot take but hear me out now that i'm
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divorced i think i was kind of a shitty wife and i'm okay with saying that now the the past few
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years have given me a chance to really look at myself i can see who i was back then the mistakes
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i made the selfishness the moments i didn't give my best um being so consumed in motherhood that
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maybe i wasn't a great partner and that's okay i needed to be that person to get to who i am today
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And to be honest, I absolutely love who I'm becoming and who I've become.
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So you've got to be more patient because what other choice do you have?
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More disciplined, definitely more emotionally aware.
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And I would go as far as to say a way better mom.
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So every hardship, every challenge, every reflection has led me to this version of myself,
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so while I take full accountability for the end of my marriage and for my faults in it
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I also recognize that I wasn't with someone who could help me grow into the person I am today
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okay let's see what's next last year I was a terrible wife last year I was a really terrible
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wife not because I didn't love my husband but because I was prideful and I wanted control
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and I thought very difficult for women that's again women that talk too highly about submission
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usually they've never been submissive so that i knew what was best i rolled my eyes more than i
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prayed i criticized more than i encouraged and i thought that submission was a dirty word
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little did i know the safety and security i would find being under biblical authority
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i treated leadership like a threat instead of a gift and i was constantly trying to change him
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but god you have to understand that our way is never the best way it's actually always the worst
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way we never like imagine how much leg up in life like women have had in general and just how much
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we still find a way to mess it up and not only that then we have the ego of thinking that we do
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it right it's just incredible god really needed to change me this year i am choosing a different way
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i am choosing god's way i am learning that submission is not silence it is strength under
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control i'm learning that honoring my husband does not mean that i am shrinking but i am rising to
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the calling of a godly wife i still mess up a lot i'm not perfect but instead of fighting i am
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praying and instead of being full of bitterness i am choosing to give it all i think most marriages
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would be solved if we just shut up forever i ain't looking it gets all of us if we just shut
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up forever i think our marriages we would have perfect marriages and peace on earth the lord
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instead of she's talking about her thing is her kids like crying in the background
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women are incredible they're like mom watch us she's like i'm busy talking about how i was a
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terrible wife last year isn't he doing more it's how can i serve him god's design for marriage is
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nothing like the world's but it's healing my heart and it's healing my home i am not the wife that i
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used to be and every single day i praise god for that dang okay let's see what's next okay let's
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see this lady this question please do not berate me i know i've been a terrible wife don't say that
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please do not confirm that like how they say don't say that it's like well she's saying it's probably
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true fact for me okay well anyway 11 year relationship seven year marriage open for three
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a four-year-old son. Oh, so you had a baby and we're like, fuck it. Not long after we got married,
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I realized I was not satisfied. So I asked him about threesomes and he said, never.
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Why do we go from unsatisfied to adding a person? But I bothered him about it.
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Testing the waters. That's why. It's testing the waters.
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Until they gave up and we had one with another man. You really got lucky, didn't you? That only
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made our sex life worse than before shocker shocker eventually i demanded we start women it's like
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how could that possibly have happened okay i'm not going to call you a bad wife he declined but
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again i was able to talk him into it after only a few times of going the group told me that we
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weren't welcome anymore because my hub my husband kept abruptly leaving in the middle of it and was
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making them all uncomfortable it sounds like a great group we argued for a while about how
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him embarrassing me i'm going to be mean to you i'm so sorry he recluse himself for a few days
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yeah because this man is being pressured into do something that he doesn't want to do and his wife
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the person who should be his partner and like you're supposed to be there for him and i'm your
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sister coming in clutch telling you baby girl if this was vice versa i would say this is a piece
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of man like this dude for pressuring you and being a and so you obviously you started
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i've been a terrible wife let's just talk about you as a person character this is the person you
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love like like yeah because women don't love their husbands okay oh my gosh this is so cute this is
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me years ago look at how fat i was uh letting you know a lot of you are shitty wife did you know
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that one in four marriages shitty wife here and i'm here to tell you why i deserve to be cheated
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on in my first marriage i think she's being sarcastic his first complaint was that i did
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not clean enough which i will give that to him i did not clean enough i mean i wasn't like
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disgusting dirty okay we can't all be good we cannot all be good wives so some people are bad
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it just you know eat that take that out it was just like clutter like i should have put things
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away i know that's i think that's like we i think men just pay more attention and everything so
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they're very good like if they they start a task and finish it we just don't and we leave things
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everywhere along the way like that's probably my worst trait because i'm not dirty but sometimes i
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just like i forget things around the house yeah i'm with you girl laundry more often things like
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that mop more often even though we lived in mississippi and it rained constantly and we had
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a husky who was in and out of the house and there was mud so i'd literally be mopping 24 7 if he had
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his speaking of mississippi that was his other complaint that i was severely depressed and he
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hated why was i depressed well let's see he was uh he moved me to the middle of nowhere away from
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my friends and family and would not allow me to have a car. How fucked up of me to be sad about
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that. Like he was really providing for me then. Do you think he would describe the story in the
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same way? He also was mad that I would sneak by things like because I had to ask permission to
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buy translation. I spent too much of his money. Anything whatsoever because he made the money
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and none of it was mine. Anything I had was because of him. How dare I think I could buy
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a three dollar bottle of nail polish without asking him first now i did cook dinner we really
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think it was just the nail polish you really think that's what set him off every night and
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i usually clean it up i was pretty much did the dishes and put it away he didn't have to do any
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of that um but i wasn't willing to try new foods that he liked so that made me a shitty wife the
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other reason i was a shitty wife is because i had platonic guy friends um so i guess i should
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she emotionally cheated i like how she's just airing herself out i just ditched them all when
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we first met you know to meet my husband's standard oh and because i was severely depressed
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i like wore pjs like all the time and like never did my makeup because i was severely depressed
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and had no friends and no one to talk to while he was gone 14 hours in the day when i was allowed
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he was working 14 hours a day and she still found a way to make it about her isn't that incredible
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have a car which was like the first year or so of our marriage i was a shitty wife because i drove
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too many miles and that was very suspicious to him you know ignore the fact that i was
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brand new to the state and just trying to learn the area to him that meant i was cheating and i
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was a shitty ass wife he was probably cheating also a shitty ass wife because i wasn't okay
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with them flirting with every waitress or any other pretty girl that was probably overly jealous
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because she's fat around us fat women cannot handle an attractive man uh he had a problem with
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me having a problem with that weird let's not forget about the time that he cried because his
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friend's sister wasn't attracted to him you know disregard it was three days before our first
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wedding anniversary how dare i demand an apology for that even though she probably has lusted over
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other men in the marriage but uh she forgot her side my bad these women have never been corrected
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and they just cannot like they this is a wicked woman thing he did give me credit for is i was
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affectionate and i did sleep with him whenever he wanted me to the problem was i was a little
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too affectionate so that made me a shitty ass wife another reason i'm a shitty wife is because
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i had a big heart and that's a flaw to him because the world is cruel you're actually
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perfectly explaining why you got divorced you shouldn't be an idiot let's not forget all the
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translation what do you guys think that's a if any of you have translations in the comments for what
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actually happened i bet she was um extending her heart uh to people that didn't deserve it uh maybe
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gluck gluck 9 000 is part of her heart the times i cried and wanted to unalive myself because he
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would holler and scream at me this close to my face telling me how worthless and a piece of
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shit I am I should just accept his criticism it's just feedback but I think the straw that broke the
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camel's back on me being a shitty wife was that the fact that we got married at 22 I told him I
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wanted to wait five years and I wanted to lose weight before having children and you know the
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five years passed and I never lost weight and I didn't we didn't have children so you know it was
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time for me to go well that explains why you had sex with him whenever because it's like well you're
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huge my girl all right let's see i was a good woman and a terrible wife at the same time uh
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those are contradictory but let's see what she has she has to say and a terrible wife at the same
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time nobody told me that being a good woman wasn't enough for marriage and i love my husband with
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everything that i had but it still was not working i had the heart i had the intention but what i
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did not have was the understanding of what it actually meant to be a good wife not just a good
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woman proverbs 14 one says the wise woman builds her home but foolish one tears it down with her
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own hands i wasn't tearing my house down on purpose i just didn't know how to build it right
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well i just want to share with you guys three things that i struggle with as a wife versus
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what i do now number one i used to speak my mind okay now i speak with purpose because not every
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single thought that i have needs to leave my mouth especially to my husband is this a woman giving
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good advice holy crap two i used to keep score i was a scorekeeper goal but with no shame but now
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i keep coming in because marriage is not a competition you know we're working together
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and it's a commitment so i'm committed to making this work i used to wait to feel like a good
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wife like once my husband did whatever or acted a certain way to make me be this woman that i've
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always wanted to be this wife i've always wanted to be then i would be her no now i choose to be
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one i choose to be one because love is an action it is not just an emotion you know i had to stop
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trying to be a good woman in my marriage and start becoming a good wife to my husband being a good
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good woman that's a gift being a good wife that's practice that is a decision that you make every
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single day and if you're watching this and you feel the way that i used to feel once upon a time
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you are not failing i say all the time white hood is a calling and we know that anything that the
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lord calls us to the enemy tries to destroy but if you follow me you should have enough conviction
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to know something needs to change so go be heard bye for now that was actually decent advice from
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a black woman of all people of all people never got that from them so anyways i could see why
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she's married there's some humility there um anyways guys let me know what you think in the
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comments if you could like the video and subscribe i love you thank you so much for watching and i'll