Pearl - The Delusional Reasons Why Women Get Divorced

00:00:00.080 what does that even mean your codependent tendency like don't you want to depend on

00:00:03.600 each other if you're married you know all right what up guys welcome to my reaction series today

00:00:09.200 we're reacting to women talking about the delusion that women have when they file for divorce so as

00:00:14.000 you guys know a lot of single mothers out there think um i can do better than my schlubby husband

00:00:20.160 and i don't really blame them because there's a lot of media and marketing saying that you can

00:00:24.720 you know divorce your husband and do better and there's a lot of simps that even at times

00:00:29.360 the woman can do better but my question is what is your body fat percentage because that is really 1.00

00:00:34.800 going to dictate your future as a woman your entire existence on this planet it's determined 1.00

00:00:41.600 on how in shape you are so most divorces begin with a woman latching on to a single very powerful

00:00:47.840 belief it is clear seems obvious to her and other people often reinforce this belief for her sometimes

00:00:54.400 even her therapist and the belief is this once i'm free from him my life will feel right yeah 0.99

00:01:00.960 um so what happened is women reproduced with men that they didn't really like they just wanted to 0.96

00:01:05.440 get married and that's very blinding um so then they have post not clarity which unfortunately

00:01:11.200 for women it happens after the baby it's like what a pickle right and um then we divorce our 0.99

00:01:19.120 husbands and blame them for a little while during separation or after divorce it actually feels true 0.98

00:01:26.400 and this is when you'll see behavior from your ex-wife you'll see her acting like she's relieved

00:01:31.600 like she's happy like she's living her best life she'll have this energy and this confidence and 0.74

00:01:36.480 this new sense of identity maybe she loses weight maybe she starts to take some pride in her

00:01:41.200 appearance and who she is and how she shows up in the world she makes new friends she starts dating

00:01:46.080 and it is so devastating because it feels like yeah because again she gets on hinge right and 0.98

00:01:51.920 tinder and um being a whore is a lot of fun right whoring out gluck gluck 9 000 that is a lot of fun 0.99

00:01:58.800 that is a good time right women love being a whore uh if you want to know how much women love being 1.00

00:02:04.080 a whore there was a woman who got a cancer diagnosis and instead of spending her last like 1.00

00:02:08.640 year with her husband and family she said i'm gonna whore out see you guys i'm about to die 0.99

00:02:12.560 i got nothing to lose anymore whoring see ya it's fun and so the women get on tinder but um it's 0.97

00:02:19.200 not till they ask the man who what are we like you know three months in and he's like uh we're 0.95

00:02:24.720 and that's it you know um do they realize the gravity of their mistake you know that her

00:02:30.640 belief is right like maybe she really did just need to be free of you to be okay but i want you

00:02:36.240 to hear this her behavior and the relief that you're seeing from her this is not evidence that

00:02:41.600 you were the problem in the marriage this is not evidence that you were the problem in her life

00:02:46.080 who cares um who's who is the problem right it's over done we're not possessive of peace people

00:02:52.880 you got to let them go simply evidence of how well she convinced herself that that was true

00:02:58.240 which is why these shifts don't last after working with several hundred men in my better beyond

00:03:04.080 divorce program i have seen this cycle again and again you guys these women feel better for six 0.88

00:03:09.840 months for a year for two years but eventually they get pumped and dumped too many times and

00:03:15.440 come crawling back they get in too much debt um they don't realize how much their husband did for

00:03:20.240 them day to day to make their life better and they come crawling back just to fall apart and they end

00:03:25.680 up unhappy again they end up back in unhealthy relationships they end up feeling exactly the

00:03:31.200 same pain and exactly the same kinds of problems that made them want to divorce you in the first

00:03:35.760 place. So she's preparing for the divorce and going through the divorce process. She's convincing

00:03:40.920 herself of this narrative. She's decided you're the problem and she's going to feel better without

00:03:45.800 you. You know, the way she sees it, the relationship is causing her pain. You are causing the problems

00:03:50.800 in the relationship. And if she removes you and removes the relationship, then she'll be fine and

00:03:54.560 she'll feel better. And for a little while, that's how it actually looks, right? She's like, oh, I can

00:03:58.320 breathe again. I can be myself. I'm free to do what I want to do. And she starts to blossom and you

00:04:03.700 all this relief coming from her. So the initial relief she feels is real. She actually is feeling

00:04:10.180 that. She's not faking it most of the time. She's not faking that she's like feeling good and feeling

00:04:14.660 better without you, but it is short-lived. So I want to help you understand why she actually

00:04:20.260 She does it because she's trying to do better and it's going to fail. Sometimes they do succeed,

00:04:24.020 right? I'm not going to pretend no women do better. I'm not delusional here. Some leave your ass and

00:04:29.460 you know find a chad and the chad just says good enough and then they move on and live happily ever 1.00

00:04:34.740 after but a lot don't um for every one winner there's 10 losers does feel relief when the

00:04:39.060 relationship ends and then also why that relief is so short-lived and what's going to happen for

00:04:44.420 her next so the truth is that the relationship was stressful you guys had problems and if you

00:04:50.260 look back on your marriage you're going to see that there were things that weren't good for you

00:04:53.620 in the marriage either. So there is a relief that comes for her when the stress of that relationship

00:05:00.560 is removed. And she takes that feeling of relief as proof that you see he was the problem. And you

00:05:07.060 might take it as proof too and be like, wow, I guess I was the problem. But removing the trigger

00:05:12.360 is not the same as resolving the underlying pattern. Distance from the trigger creates

00:05:18.860 a temporary sense of calm, but that's not the same as healing. You are not the only problem

00:05:24.940 in the relationship. In fact, you aren't the problem at all, and neither was she.

00:05:29.880 There are patterns. There is a cycle of interaction, a negative cycle of interaction

00:05:34.440 between the two of you that led to this divorce. She played a role in that. Her attachment wounds,

00:05:40.280 her codependent tendencies. This is why I'm not really the biggest fan of

00:05:46.740 of female divorce coaches or whatever. What does that even mean? Your codependent tendency? Like 1.00

00:05:52.760 don't you want to depend on each other if you're married? Unresolved childhood baggage and pain,

00:05:58.720 all of that played a role in the problems in your marriage. Your stuff played a role in it too,

00:06:03.820 but so did hers. And as long as she's ignoring that and thinking that you were the cause of all

00:06:09.440 of the pain, she's not actually healing. She's just getting away from the trigger. She's literally

00:06:14.620 removing herself temporarily from that cycle and so she'll feel good for a little while and while

00:06:19.260 she's feeling good she'll go out and do new things right she might start dating she might have new

00:06:23.100 experiences she might start you know following through on dreams that she had ignored for a lot

00:06:27.660 of years and all of that novelty yeah so you know she's gonna follow her career dreams maybe it's 0.98

00:06:33.500 to be a dancer it's gonna be some that has a high failure weight rate doesn't make a lot of money 1.00

00:06:38.620 and women we're always convinced that we would have been these famous people if it weren't for

00:06:42.780 the man holding us back. But most of us, it just was never in the cards. Keep her energized and

00:06:48.020 excited for a little while. Being in a new environment makes it easy to step out of old

00:06:53.220 reactions. But again, distance from the trigger and novelty is not the same as truly healing or

00:06:59.800 changing and resolving old patterns. And so what you will see and what I see again and again in

00:07:05.620 the ex-wives of my clients is that over time, the old patterns start to creep back in. She'll find 0.75

00:07:12.260 yourself in a relationship where the same kinds of conflicts are coming up or where she feels

00:07:16.520 stifled or limited in the same ways. She'll find that her confidence isn't really deep and strong

00:07:22.160 and it gets shaken easily. She'll find that she's repeating the same emotional patterns inside a new

00:07:28.460 relationship that felt amazing in the beginning. And over time, her dissatisfaction in that

00:07:33.400 relationship will start to climb. And this is because the original pain, the pain that she

00:07:38.300 felt that led her to ask for a divorce, that pain was not created inside the marriage. It was

00:07:43.480 activated in the marriage. Most relationships, especially most adult relationships, are not

00:07:49.380 actively creating new wounds. They are revealing old wounds. They are triggering old existing

00:07:56.540 patterns. If you are a man going through an unwanted divorce, and especially if your ex

00:08:00.920 blamed you for all of the problems in the marriage, I so want you to hear this.

00:08:05.180 yeah guys women's like party like women will throw divorce parties and again we think the 0.95

00:08:11.440 grass is always greener on the other side which is the majority of the time they're single moms 1.00

00:08:16.600 they're gonna get pumped and dumped I mean they're they're like mega used cars that's kind of how the 1.00

00:08:21.640 world views them I know you might have viewed her as the love of your life mother of your kids but 0.83

00:08:25.480 they're just used cars on the markets and women treat men like we treat jobs and we will if we 1.00

00:08:31.260 think we can find a better job, we're going to go look. But unfortunately, we don't realize 1.00

00:08:36.400 when our qualifications suck because we're delusional. You might be feeling like you 0.91

00:08:40.360 ruined everything, like you were the problem, like you lost this amazing person. Look at the

00:08:45.020 woman she's blossoming into without you. And it's just not true. If you believe that story,

00:08:51.200 if you believe those thoughts, you are going to cost yourself years of your life. You are going

00:08:55.720 to spend so much time in shame and regret. You are going to be obsessed with what she's doing

00:09:00.580 and the choices that she's making you are going to be in agony every time you see her with a happy

00:09:05.300 post on Facebook or hear about something she's doing from your kids and you might also fall into

00:09:11.540 a pattern of resentment or need for vindication or anger towards her and it is so so tragic and

00:09:18.820 I see this happening to so many men there's going to be men in the comments of this video

00:09:22.820 who are going to be stuck in this pattern yeah guys who cares she's not yours it's just your turn 1.00

00:09:28.900 move on um because really women you can do younger hotter you can get a better bitch 0.95

00:09:36.120 you know so there's women turning 21 18 whatever every day so anyways guys um let me know what 0.98

00:09:43.080 you think of the comments if you can please like the video on your way out and subscribe

00:09:46.180 to the channel and i'll see you next time

Pearl - May 18, 2026

The Delusional Reasons Why Women Get Divorced

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