Pearl - June 22, 2025


The Imposter Syndrome of Modern Dating： Women, Abuse, and Lies w⧸ @ItsComplicatedChannel


Episode Stats

Length

16 minutes

Words per Minute

197.51393

Word Count

3,215

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

34

Hate Speech Sentences

18


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 there anything at this point that you know comes as a surprise to you or are you still learning new
00:00:04.000 things or no nothing's a surprise anymore um i'd say the biggest surprise to me was how much women
00:00:11.040 lie about abuse i did not realize that yeah um because that i figured out when i was doing
00:00:17.200 interviews and it was like every other show i was abused i was abused and then guys like you were
00:00:23.200 saying like people put in the chat like questions to ask that i never would have thought you know
00:00:28.560 because when a girl's crying or like telling a really sob story like about her abuse your first
00:00:34.000 instinct is not to say well did you file a police report did you do this did you do that yeah that's
00:00:38.880 not your you know as like a human you don't really want to do that and how dare you because you're
00:00:43.840 supposed to automatically believe all women you can't if you ask any questions now all of a sudden
00:00:48.480 you're victim blaming right yeah but i would just say in general even if it's a guy like if he's
00:00:54.800 telling me an abuse story my my just as a person i'm not now i do but back then that was not my
00:01:01.200 like initial reaction to just not believe like you know but and it's kind of awkward right well it's
00:01:08.640 kind of like like you know you gotta ask women what's so attractive about a narcissist because
00:01:13.120 every woman has seemed to have dated a narcissist but so i started asking them like hey what happened
00:01:20.160 right and there was this turning point in one of the shows where this girl said she was abused and
00:01:24.960 i said okay like did you file a police report no okay well tell me about like the fight that led up
00:01:30.640 to the abuse and because her story was that she was thrown down a flight of stairs and i was like well
00:01:35.360 that's terrible i don't want anyone to be thrown down a flight of stairs but she then she tells a
00:01:40.000 story well i went over there and i wasn't supposed to go over there and i was fighting with him and in
00:01:44.480 front of his kid and he wanted me to leave and i wouldn't leave and so he was pushing me out of the house
00:01:49.200 so so i look at her and i said so you were trespassing like it wasn't here and so as soon
00:01:56.960 as i found that out i just couldn't believe like i can't think of a single abuse story on the show i
00:02:03.040 believe or great well also like you know when you look at the uh the duluth model uh what is that that's
00:02:08.880 the um the idea that the men are automatically perceived as the primary aggressors in um domestic
00:02:14.560 violence cases um but then also isn't there statistics that women are the biggest initiators
00:02:21.040 of domestic violence especially i guess if you look at the domestic violence rates in lesbian
00:02:25.200 relationships much higher than domestic violence in homosexual gay homosexual relationships
00:02:31.440 and and also why would we not attribute women to being more violent when you know
00:02:36.640 being more emotional leads to violence i know i think i have always said that women are not
00:02:41.200 women are not nurturing because i went down this rabbit hole where i was trying to think of
00:02:44.800 anything we were better at like anything i could back up with like a fact the best chefs are men right
00:02:53.200 no that's it kept happening right and then i looked up i was like well we're better with infants right
00:02:59.600 wrong did you know if there's an infanticide do you know what that is
00:03:03.120 uh infanticide so after the kid's born in the first year if a kid's murdered it's called i think
00:03:10.000 it's called an infanticide okay that it's like 95 women are the perpetrators wow so if a baby dies
00:03:17.920 within the first year of life it's almost like the police don't even look for male victims or
00:03:22.640 purpose sorry male perpetrators yeah because it's almost always a female or the mother and women are
00:03:28.160 more likely to kill the elderly too what i don't understand about that though is like you know you've heard
00:03:32.080 these horror stories about women or just babies infants being left in a dumpster always women but
00:03:37.920 but the thing i don't understand is that isn't it what about the story about women can leave their
00:03:42.000 child you know for adoption with a fire department or something why wouldn't they put up their child
00:03:45.840 for adoption sooner than they would just abandon their baby they're mad they reproduced with a guy they
00:03:50.480 didn't want to that's what that's what i think is behind it is they repeat like i think that after women
00:03:55.440 have kids it's like post-nut clarity you know and like guys like they think they like a woman and then
00:04:00.560 they sleep with her and they realize oh i just wanted the sex i think women have that with like
00:04:05.600 kids and so you know some women are just like you know they go crazy they kill their kid you know yeah
00:04:12.160 um but i had a back and forth with sneaker on a show and he just kept saying like why do you hate women
00:04:17.280 like women are like meant to be mothers and i was like i don't think so because if women really wanted
00:04:23.680 to be mothers we would have all it's kind of like i think we're like it's like revealed preferences
00:04:30.480 versus stated preferences it's like we would have all had kids at 20 but none of us wanted to
00:04:36.640 so so do you think that women still today want to be married they want families did they no i don't i
00:04:42.960 think it's like as simple as no they don't so so my my question also is like you know when i think about
00:04:48.880 you know men kind of exercising their leverage and maybe going mig tau and taking because all men can
00:04:53.600 really do at this point is maybe like take themselves off the market but how much impact
00:04:57.840 is that going to have when most of those men are already deemed invisible to women to begin with
00:05:03.680 so it's kind of like you know if women only have eyes for the top men those are the men engaging with
00:05:09.280 the women and the other so i i think that that um you know but women still kind of even though
00:05:15.680 they're independent they still rely on a lot of those 80 of men like they don't need those men but
00:05:20.240 they still need their money because they want to sell them only fans and they want to you know they
00:05:23.760 still need attention from those men so i think that if you can kind of like uh you know create a middle
00:05:30.560 man or something you know something else that those men can focus on instead of chasing those women who
00:05:35.760 don't want to reproduce with them or don't want to engage with them then all of a sudden now those women
00:05:40.720 have you know they have to step up and you know kind of conform to what those men want right now
00:05:48.560 they don't have to care because they already have all their needs met no that's so true but uh i just
00:05:54.320 think it's like it's something i even thought was true like we all wanted to be married and be mothers
00:05:59.280 but actually my um my boyfriend now said something to me me once he's like if women wanted to be in
00:06:07.040 relationships they would be and he's like i as a man he's like i cannot fathom having as much choice
00:06:14.160 as you guys have and not being in a relationship he's like if we had a thousand matches on a dating
00:06:21.200 app we would be on dates he's like if they wanted to be in relationships you would go on a date every
00:06:27.440 day of the week until you found a guy you wanted to be in a relationship with but women aren't doing
00:06:32.000 that right no i mean that's the thing it's like a lot of women are hanging out with their
00:06:36.000 girlfriends or they'd rather you know i think i think uh i did an episode called single by choice
00:06:40.960 i think women are single by choice and men are single by circumstance i think that um
00:06:46.560 you know what what needs going back to what i was saying before what needs are women currently
00:06:50.880 deprived that they're forced to be with men currently i don't think they're deprived anything
00:06:54.800 they can get all their needs met but men are still deprived needs that they're forced to be with
00:06:58.480 women which is you know companionship intimacy you know sexual access all that other stuff
00:07:04.560 it's also if you look at the top like tv shows that women watch it's all side chicks
00:07:11.520 no like the handmaid's tale scandal yeah i'm like i don't know i think we just love being
00:07:18.080 side chicks like i think it's that simple i think women we just want to be side chicks
00:07:24.240 well i mean but but don't you think that even the side chicks want to be the main chick
00:07:28.320 yeah but then they become the main chick and they get bored yeah yeah like so you know or like or it's
00:07:36.880 like um they like tame the super like you know i have a friend um we're like the most unlikely of
00:07:45.040 pals he's um a open relationship super liberal he's done like vegan protest guy and i was like why would
00:07:53.120 you do open relationships and he said whenever i would go monogamous they would start treating me
00:08:00.080 bad and he's like i just said no and and so i it was almost like pragmatic for him as he tried
00:08:08.720 like being like he said they only treat me well when they think there's other women yeah and and so
00:08:15.520 even the open like who's more of a cuck um crowder or destiny you know what i mean because destiny it's
00:08:21.920 like you look at all the women he was banging it's like lauren souther like it's it's attractive
00:08:27.200 and you can maybe argue they're crazy and now he paid for it later but he ran through like all of
00:08:33.360 well it's still i mean whether you're he's hooking up with the whether you're conservative or whether
00:08:38.000 you're liberal yeah it's still gynocentrism you're still basically you know you ever hear the expression
00:08:44.720 was it chivalry and feminism and by the way i'm a fan of crowder i didn't mean to throw a shot
00:08:48.640 okay sorry um uh you ever hear the expression chivalry and feminism are two sides of the same
00:08:54.960 gynocentric coin yeah it's it's basically both pedestal both place women at a status above men
00:09:01.840 both place women on a pedestal so we have to kind of like you know realize that feminism chivalry is
00:09:10.240 the very premise that feminism is based on feminism would have never gained traction without the help of
00:09:16.160 men um so i think that that we have to look at uh you know this idea that that you know women are
00:09:23.840 prioritized um you know they are the prize you know whether you're a liberal like destiny or whether
00:09:30.080 you're conservative like crowder and it's all about you know keeping the happy wife happy life got to
00:09:34.880 keep her happy and stuff right and uh when women have options and when women have power they tend to
00:09:40.320 you know abuse that power and stuff now now maybe men would do that too but all i'm saying is there
00:09:46.480 has to be some type of you know checks and balances and there used to be checks on hypergamy that's
00:09:51.680 what sha talks about you know with the dowry and now there aren't and you know i think there's a male
00:09:59.120 version of hypergamy i think that that women wanting the bigger better deal is the equivalent of men wanting
00:10:03.920 the younger hotter chick or maybe even multiple women but the family court only punishes men pursuing
00:10:10.800 their hypergamy right yeah and i actually don't think men are as bad with leverage i do think they
00:10:17.840 would cheat right i do say yeah i and i had like a turning point for me where i had a guy on my show
00:10:26.000 who was like a conservative like he had a very big christian like conservative brand and then he was
00:10:31.920 like date and he would say like cheating is bad and then he was like dating like four girls from the
00:10:37.680 show and he probably wasn't like exclusive or whatever but i don't think any of them you know
00:10:43.120 and different girls are telling me they're dating like people talk you know and i was like oh
00:10:47.840 shit most guys will cheat when they give are given the option well even like when we talk about the
00:10:52.800 whole body count issue and stuff right um if we're coaching men to be the high value man that plows
00:10:58.800 through women aren't we kind of sculpting men to be the very thing that we condemn in women
00:11:04.400 yeah so is that kind of you know and and even when we complain about body count does it make sense to
00:11:09.440 complain about women having high body counts at the com at the same time we're complaining about men
00:11:13.440 being incels yeah well the the thing is i just kind of see it like that's kind of how it is
00:11:19.440 unfortunately like i don't i don't know if you see it changing in our lifetime i i don't but people call
00:11:26.480 me black pilled so i i mean it's it's almost like all roads lead to migtail yeah and i think that
00:11:33.120 but but at the same time i think the people who really have it correct the most correct are the
00:11:38.240 migtails and the mras because i think that the other stuff just doesn't necessarily most men are not
00:11:45.520 going to be high value men and even if all men did become high value men high value would just become
00:11:50.960 the new average right you know because like i said average men are already high value in the
00:11:56.080 eyes of foreign women i mean women are just going to keep raising their standards and say oh well
00:11:59.680 every man's a millionaire now i want a billionaire and stuff you know so um i i think that uh you know
00:12:08.720 this is you know this is going to take you know a long long time but the question you know must be
00:12:13.840 asked did the laws have to change first does the culture have to change i think it's a combination of
00:12:18.960 things because obviously you know if you change laws and the culture isn't supporting it then it
00:12:23.840 sounds like a dictatorship and if the culture changes it's just a it's just all about at least
00:12:31.600 at least we have to have these conversations and then kind of see where it goes because it's a roulette
00:12:35.920 wheel of just you know voices in the space and they're all competing with each other and so do you
00:12:40.240 think that the content's been effective like do you think that men are more men are waking up
00:12:45.120 to a degree i mean i'll ask you this because i've noticed this myself do you feel like you know
00:12:50.480 you're hearing things in your interviews now that you weren't hearing five years ago yeah i've noticed
00:12:55.760 that as well i mean um you know there there's there's more uh awareness i think um about you know
00:13:04.880 the entitlement of women things like that um but you know you still have a lot of guys just kind of on
00:13:11.680 this self-improvement hamster wheel and like i said nothing wrong with self-improvement but
00:13:17.360 you know i don't think self-improvement is going to fix all of men's collective issues
00:13:21.920 yeah well i don't think those guys care about men's collective issues they're in it for themselves
00:13:27.440 you know like yeah i i don't want to speak for all of them right but just the ones the guys i've known
00:13:33.600 um like that came on the show and i just knew were very like successful with women
00:13:39.200 yeah they don't care they don't care about men's rights they're they're having a great time they're
00:13:44.480 not going to stop not only that but i mean let's just acknowledge how many high high level men have
00:13:49.680 been destroyed by the legal system yeah so it's like you know being being high value isn't the end
00:13:55.200 all be all you're still subject to many laws i mean this is why you know a lot of people you know when
00:14:01.040 they become a passport bro they have to stay in that country because if you bring her back here
00:14:05.120 you're subject to the laws and you're subject to you know they just become kind of pragmatic though
00:14:11.280 so they'll get ring cameras if you know if we're talking like me too type stuff they'll they'll get
00:14:17.280 like uh i know some of them get the girls to text them the next day and say they had a good time or
00:14:22.640 whatever i'm not saying they're in like i'm not saying it can't happen to them but so the way they're
00:14:28.400 gonna do i'm just telling you that's what they do so basically we've gone from friends with benefits
00:14:33.600 to now sleeping with the enemy you can't you can't even trust your partner oh they don't you
00:14:38.640 have to maintain frame at all times if if anything happens it's your fault because you're supposed to
00:14:43.760 lead i mean this is you know it just always will center circle back to um shaming men yeah well i
00:14:52.960 think the way they would kind of see it isn't really but it's not like they just don't care they're
00:14:59.200 they're trying to get sex like they just they're not really thinking about all this stuff they're just
00:15:03.440 like i want i want to bang three hot women a week right now now imagine and not care about
00:15:09.760 what happens after right now imagine if we had a safe and regulated outlet for men to fulfill that
00:15:17.760 need of theirs now all of a sudden they can take care of that and now they can make smarter decisions
00:15:23.920 i mean everyone's everyone's always telling men men need to be strong and i'm saying it's not that
00:15:29.040 men need to be strong men need to be smart yeah because oh my gosh have you ever tried to talk
00:15:34.640 a guy out of like marrying someone he shouldn't marry you can't no they're gonna shoot the messenger
00:15:41.360 yeah yeah no and that's the thing it's like oh another one bites the dust yeah and and and that's
00:15:47.280 the thing is is you know but you have to sit there and be congratulate congratulatory and everything and
00:15:52.800 you know
00:15:59.040 you know
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00:16:10.640 you
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