Pearl - The Myth of Masculinity： How History and Modern Dating Are Lying to You w⧸ @ItsComplicatedChannel

00:00:00.000 so what do you think is different today than like sorry what part do you mean it wasn't this way

00:00:06.160 for all of history wouldn't you say for most of history men like were the head of their household

00:00:11.840 like they did provide to some extent i know there was the dowry that women brought but it came from

00:00:17.200 her dad not her right um well like uh okay let's let's go back to like maybe the 1970s i wasn't

00:00:23.280 necessarily alive then but i'm saying yeah yeah if you talk about you know back then it was

00:00:27.360 you know make love not war um i think that we were kind of like a little bit more um uh headed

00:00:34.080 towards equality uh uh back then i think that uh okay look at it this way you had during the vietnam

00:00:41.120 war you had women actually marching for you know men being sent off to die in war oh i see and now

00:00:47.920 today it's like you're not a real man if you don't fight in war okay not not only not only that but i

00:00:53.520 i mean look at the the male um deletion rate right and it's like okay so um why aren't women

00:01:01.120 marching for those for those lives today yeah you could you didn't they do like a million man march a

00:01:07.600 while ago you're talking about like in the 90s yeah yeah i know i know that's i was thinking like

00:01:12.480 it was in the night like no time recently yeah i don't think that i think that was more uh uh due to um

00:01:18.160 police brutality and you know and racism and stuff like that i think it had more to do with that than it

00:01:22.400 had to do with just kind of like oh really as far as i remember i think it had something to do with

00:01:27.840 like the rodney king oh i did i totally thought it was for me i don't know i wasn't a lot or if i was

00:01:33.600 i was like five so yeah well we're trying to like i said we're trying to um do forensic investigations on

00:01:39.040 you know what happened in the past and you know how it correlates in a modern context yeah and that's

00:01:44.720 the tough thing women are so good at rewriting history too so you have to like sift through so

00:01:49.280 many historical documents to even find like the like um i just said this is sean the channel and

00:01:54.800 he was um talking about the dowry in depth and i couldn't believe like why don't conservatives talk

00:02:00.560 about that yeah i mean exactly and uh so just just more people should ask like what is a dowry and uh

00:02:08.640 i just did an episode on this um inspired kind of like by what he was talking about he actually did a

00:02:15.200 a fantastic conversation with paul elam about this bringing this up and so it's like okay when you

00:02:22.080 think about it you know some of the most masculine men throughout history like you know julius caesar

00:02:27.440 and uh king henry the eighth they took dowries and yet today we're being told that you're not a real

00:02:33.440 man unless you pay 100 of the bills to put the woman in her feminine so when you talk about rewriting

00:02:39.600 history this idea that you know men just have to this is the way it's supposed to be and it

00:02:46.000 couldn't possibly be any other way even though when you look back in history it wasn't always that way

00:02:51.360 so why are we conveniently ignoring those those arguments so i i want to see more kind of people

00:02:58.880 being challenged on what they're saying and not just the feminists but i want to see you know a lot

00:03:03.600 of these influencers and masculinity coaches and pickup artists and stuff like that i want to see them all

00:03:08.560 get challenged because at the end of the day we're all just searching for truth but i don't like like

00:03:14.160 when i ask questions i'm not necessarily trying to tell people what to think i just want them to

00:03:18.240 think for themselves and i'm trying to extract the truth and sometimes i have a perception of what i

00:03:23.360 think the truth is but by no means am i saying i have all the answers i'm just you know go ahead

00:03:29.200 and change my mind let's let's try to figure this out but you know these are real issues and these

00:03:33.360 are real problems and we want to have real solutions and not just sit here and you know try to sell

00:03:37.920 people a fantasy that is unattainable so how would you how do you think child care should go so like

00:03:45.520 you get past that you go 50 50 on the relationship now you're both working the kids under three need

00:03:52.960 someone to watch them who does it well i mean i know there's the with the tender years doctrine and

00:03:58.320 you know people typically go to the idea that women are better um i don't think that so well i mean

00:04:04.480 obviously if women are having abortions and stuff i mean you know do they really um i'm just curious

00:04:09.520 because you were saying you'd like to see um you'd like to see some of the masculine duties be

00:04:15.600 challenged and so i was just curious how you would see the like young years of a kid going i think uh

00:04:22.960 well i think that that men can be good fathers if uh you know it really just comes down to who has the

00:04:31.760 opportunity to be um to who has the opportunity to be present who wants to be present and who wants

00:04:39.200 to you know have uh um a strong connection with their children i i haven't really thought that much

00:04:45.120 about it to be honest okay i think that that it's something that uh like someone said to me okay who

00:04:49.920 would you trust uh running a daycare center a bunch of women or a bunch of men right and automatically

00:04:55.600 most people assume that you know i would leave my child with a bunch of women instead of a bunch of men

00:05:00.160 and you know yeah i'd trust the men more really okay well just because i've looked at like child

00:05:06.000 abuse stats like women are more violent towards kids okay well like i said that uh that's something

00:05:12.320 that obviously you know should be looked at more so yeah okay i was just curious because it's like

00:05:16.640 under five who like i mean once they're in preschool and up it's like a different story where both parents

00:05:23.520 can work but i think one parent has to you know i'm not saying it should be the man or the woman but i was

00:05:28.880 just kind of curious i've had a lot of women say things like you know now that women are expected

00:05:33.520 to uh be breadwinners along with the men um you know women almost feel like oh well you know we have

00:05:40.160 to you know um uh be the homemaker the caretaker and uh and also make money and the men are just you

00:05:48.640 know the breadwinners so the men need to step up more and help us more around the house i think kind

00:05:53.440 of where we're headed is kind of everyone's kind of going to be expected to do everything

00:05:56.720 um but it just depends on what's more convenient obviously if a woman is pregnant then it makes

00:06:02.720 sense for the man to definitely step up and you know help her but at some point my mom ran a marathon

00:06:08.800 six months pregnant i think they over exaggerate well i mean to to a degree but i'm saying that

00:06:13.760 obviously um you know uh someone wrote a really excellent comment that i you know i mean i learned

00:06:18.800 more things from my comments as well but someone wrote that um a uh an employer is going to basically

00:06:25.840 expect a woman to get back to work after 12 weeks so at some point you know why can't a husband do

00:06:32.560 that because women what's the uh the question i had is like why are women more willing to submit to their

00:06:38.160 employer than they're going to submit to their husband and children so so what do you think um

00:06:44.880 you mentioned that you'd like to see some things change in the space um what are they there's too much

00:06:52.960 blame on men and i think there's too much focus on masculinity and not enough focus on the misandry

00:06:59.520 and whenever we do talk about misandry we only talk about the misandry that comes from women we

00:07:05.360 don't talk about the misandry that comes from other men we look at shaming women as hate but when we shame

00:07:11.760 men it's motivation and i think why aren't they both hate why why why have we come to assess the average

00:07:20.320 man is unacceptable and he has to change and improve what's what's wrong i mean you know i i get it like

00:07:25.920 i'm not against the idea of self-improvement i'm not telling men like be a loser and don't ever you

00:07:30.720 know achieve anything but you know sometimes men have a right to enjoy life yeah yeah yeah and and

00:07:38.720 sometimes i mean i see rants online from guys who are good-looking guys and shouldn't even have a

00:07:43.440 problem and they're exhausted they they run into burnout because they feel like you know it's it's never

00:07:48.320 going to be enough and so um and and the other thing is it's like there's this idea that just because

00:07:54.320 you know men are appreciated somehow that validates a lot of the sacrifices that men are expected to

00:07:59.440 make and i think that you know we can't just um like like why would women appreciate the sacrifices

00:08:06.800 that men make if they're just going to continue making those sacrifices so i think that either women

00:08:11.200 have to have a duty or neither one of them have to have a duty or something like that but it's the

00:08:15.680 double standards in our society that persist that you know have to change um and what's interesting

00:08:22.240 is it's like well why does the manosphere complain about double standards but then just say well men

00:08:26.480 and women are different well then so are you saying double standards are okay so there's there's a lot

00:08:31.440 of contradictions i see in the manosphere that i'd like to challenge them on but then if i call out the

00:08:36.640 manosphere for some inconsistencies then they're going to label me a feminist and say i'm clearly not a

00:08:41.680 feminist have you done a back and forth with myron ever have you ever like done a debate not really

00:08:47.760 i would love to i think he would i think he'd maybe do it it would i would love to watch it just as a

00:08:52.720 viewer because i know he does a lot with his call-in shows or he tells them to like like i watched this

00:08:58.640 one and i like this is not me throwing shot at him i like myron he's a good guy but i saw him like do a

00:09:05.920 call-in show where um what was it he had a couple on the show and they both made money and he basically

00:09:14.880 told like the girl was a little bit ahead in her career because she was like military or something

00:09:19.840 okay um and he was telling the guy that he wasn't doing enough but i was looking at her i'm like she's

00:09:24.480 fat yeah like you can like i was like i'm like she's got to get on the tread you know what i mean

00:09:32.960 before we're gonna say she deserves uh uh like do you know what i mean i'm like she's got to be in

00:09:39.120 shape to at least like well that's that's the thing when you when you're talking about all the

00:09:43.360 expectations placed on men you know you gotta you gotta be jacked and you gotta be six feet tall and

00:09:47.600 six figures and it's like well women can't even do the bare minimum and just be you know eat less

00:09:52.560 yeah we don't even have to work out we just have to eat less right is it harder to grow muscles or

00:09:56.800 just not overeat yeah or is it harder to lose lose weight or gain height you know what i mean so so

00:10:01.360 there are things that men are shamed for that we can't even control women have more control over

00:10:06.000 the things that you know that we shame them for i mean obviously when it comes to like men being

00:10:10.080 shamed for being incels and women being shamed for being sluts women control their body count way

00:10:15.280 more than most men do because women are the control axis yeah the gatekeepers and stuff so so um but as far

00:10:21.760 as um the other thing also i think that that there's this concept going around the manosphere

00:10:26.880 called hoflation right men have to work men today have to work five times harder than their grandfathers

00:10:31.600 did for women 20 times worse than their grandmother what their grandmothers were and yet if we're telling

00:10:38.480 men that women have these delusional expectations now go out and meet fulfill those delusional expectations

00:10:45.680 are we not feeding the very hoflation problem that we're complaining about yeah i just think there's always

00:10:51.280 going to be guys that are like that's my only choice do you know what i mean i'm not i'm not

00:10:56.000 saying they should or they shouldn't i'm really not here to tell guys how to date i don't i've never

00:11:00.880 dated women so i just don't have an opinion on like that uh but i just you know like i've interviewed

00:11:07.600 guys where they're just like like i had a friend in london i'd never met him i'd never he had never had

00:11:15.040 a girlfriend that like expected him to not cheat like it was always a one-sided open thing and

00:11:21.280 talking him out of like because he kind of did all the stuff like he got the muscles he's a really

00:11:26.400 success i'm not i'm not going to say the industry but he was very like good in his field and i'm like

00:11:32.320 if you would tell him well you're feeding women's delusional expect he would say i don't care

00:11:37.760 like i have my five women i don't like i do not care right and like the way he would i just i know

00:11:46.560 him so he what he would say is he'd say something like well then why don't like i did all this work

00:11:51.680 why didn't you do all this work right um i'm not saying that's right or wrong but i'm just curious

00:11:57.360 how you would respond to something like that i mean typically you know when the man does the work it's

00:12:02.240 it's the you know the mindset where why does a society that tells a man he doesn't deserve a

00:12:07.040 woman when he's broke i have any right to tell that man he only deserves one woman when he's rich

00:12:11.840 so the man is going to say well i've done the work now i'm a high status high value man now i'm going

00:12:16.640 to exercise my options and so are women willing to you know share those men or are they willing to

00:12:22.080 settle for more average men if they want the loyalty so it's kind of you know i saw this guy do

00:12:28.400 like i was like he he would bring like two like two girls that he was like hooking up with to a

00:12:36.560 party he just did not care he's like leave me well that's what i'm saying i think that that modern

00:12:43.280 women today are are almost like concert groupies they just want to be with a rock star or they want

00:12:48.560 to be you know i mean they want to be that trophy that arm candy and stuff you know i will say though

00:12:53.680 i used to think the money mattered more to women than it does i've seen a lot of women from the

00:12:59.600 show just sleep with like bar like guys in certain positions like they really like bartenders like

00:13:05.840 aren't club promoters broke and they're always yeah well i mean so they'll go for a broke chad basically

00:13:10.640 someone who's just yeah or just in the right like comedians they're kind of like a lot of them aren't

00:13:16.640 like super good looking but they're funny yeah you know i was wondering about that also it's kind of

00:13:21.360 like when you look at like you know the sexiest men alive you know we're we're you know you know

00:13:26.480 famous comedians on there and stuff or you know i don't know but you know obviously they've they've

00:13:31.600 always said that you know women love you know men who make them laugh i just this reminds me of

00:13:36.480 something i saw where it was like this guy was at a party and he was getting no attention from women

00:13:41.360 and he was like screw this so he went and got his guitar and came back yeah but i mean yeah and i'm not

00:13:48.240 saying it's right but i'm like the guys that like figure out a cheat code i'm like you're not gonna

00:13:53.760 talk them out of like five women good luck yeah but i mean but but you know then you talk to these

00:14:00.400 guys who are like passport bros and you know they go overseas and then what i call passport bros is

00:14:05.920 almost like it's a shortcut to becoming a high value man because you know your average man is already

00:14:11.680 kind of considered a high value man in the eyes of foreign women he's already good enough yeah and so

00:14:16.320 um i think that uh you know that's why you you hear these stories about guys going to thailand

00:14:22.960 and then you know they'll get all these matches on a dating app and then women will drive you know

00:14:27.920 two three four hours to come see you and and and drive you around and take you around and stuff so it's

00:14:33.920 it's kind of like that that role reversal um going back to what i was saying about the uh you know some

00:14:39.680 of the issues i have with the the manosphere um i kind of believe that a lot of the advice or the

00:14:45.440 prescriptions even though we're told that red pill doesn't give prescriptions but i think it does

00:14:50.160 um we're kind of just told move or improve um you know be a passport bro or you know work on yourself

00:14:58.800 um but work on yourself for you but you know don't do it for women do it for you even though

00:15:03.360 we're not shaming the migtaos who aren't even playing the game you know it's like why aren't we

00:15:07.760 shaming migtaos to improve for themselves anyway um i think a lot of it's just coping it's not

00:15:14.080 you know it's basically just saying this is what we're kind of stuck dealing with now you made

00:15:19.520 a great point once where you said um you know if men had 20 30 beautiful women in their inbox

00:15:27.440 dming them saying let me come over and let me cook for you and massage you and everything

00:15:32.560 don't you think it would be hard to get a man to commit oh yeah so impossible that guy is

00:15:39.040 that the guy i i know he's cheating for life he's like it's just never gonna happen so so once again

00:15:44.880 it comes down to the fact that now that's exactly the position women are in they have all these thirsty

00:15:49.440 simps after them so women are basically have the privilege of being more picky because they have

00:15:55.200 more options so you know men would probably do a lot of the same things if they had the options as

00:16:02.640 well i think the problem is the game is so rigged to one side that we just don't have the ability

00:16:09.200 to have any bargaining power i think that our bargaining chips have taken away have been taken

00:16:13.600 away from us our bargaining chip used to be the idea that you know we were the ones who who made the

00:16:19.360 money but then ever since you know women got equal employment opportunities in the workforce and

00:16:23.440 they're taking half the jobs now i mean i you asked this question um if we want men to be providers

00:16:30.000 are we going to remove equal employment opportunities which are preventing men from

00:16:33.760 fulfilling the provider roles that we're advocating for so so you know women want to have their cake and

00:16:39.280 eat it too while men can't even have a cake can't have a cake or even eat one so we have to look at

00:16:45.280 what's going on culturally and within the laws and i think you know we're we're identifying the symptoms

00:16:52.320 but we're not looking at the root cause what's causing these things

00:16:59.440 are we going to take the feeling we're identifying the answers that oh

00:17:02.480 you

00:17:06.080 you

Pearl - June 15, 2025

The Myth of Masculinity： How History and Modern Dating Are Lying to You w⧸ @ItsComplicatedChannel

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