Pearl - January 29, 2026


The New World Belongs to Those Who Can Pay Attention


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

157.70697

Word count

1,503

Sentence count

28

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about how social media has changed the way we socialize and the impact it has on our ability to make and maintain female friendships. I also talk about the negative impact it can have on our mental health.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Alright, what up guys? Welcome to my coffee talks.
00:00:03.960 I know I look kind of ridiculous right now because I have this like breathing thing in,
00:00:11.280 but I wore it yesterday and I couldn't believe how much better I could breathe, so I'm going to start wearing it.
00:00:19.700 okay so some of the observations I have from this channel are observing myself and just like real
00:00:29.140 life situations um and I'm thinking about how there are times when I am just in a bad mood and
00:00:39.340 I cannot figure out why I don't know what the reason is like I mean women right I'm just in a 1.00
00:00:46.140 bad mood. And generally, I've noticed it comes from like excessive social media use. So I would
00:00:58.580 say I've probably had somewhat of a phone addiction since I was like 14. And I think younger
00:01:05.380 millennials and Gen Z can all kind of relate to this. Like all of us pretty much have been on our
00:01:10.820 phones since we were teenagers. If you didn't have like Snapchat or Instagram or Facebook,
00:01:16.400 you're kind of left out of normal activities because, you know, if you weren't like in the
00:01:22.340 group chat, you know, just nobody would invite you. So part of it, it's like a necessity to some
00:01:29.440 degree. And I was thinking about how the last five years, a good chunk of my friends I've made
00:01:35.720 have been from the internet like either a twitter space or like um
00:01:41.420 just I don't know like it's not like I don't make friends in real life but
00:01:46.880 you know I would just say like probably 60 70 percent come from online
00:01:52.440 um and I was also thinking about how if you go outside it's kind of dystopian like I'm in
00:02:00.000 downtown Dallas I don't know if I should say that but and you walk around it's partly partially
00:02:07.160 because it's cold but there's so many less like people out and about and there's so much more like
00:02:14.440 mental illness now than there was like 10 years ago and this is probably me saying water is wet
00:02:21.660 the sky is blue but I really think it's because we're on our phones too much and like the thing
00:02:29.220 that society is like robbing us of I don't want to say robbing because it's like you opt into it
00:02:34.400 but I think society has figured out how valuable like people's attention is
00:02:41.420 and that's kind of what we're in now like it's the attention economy so everybody like you know
00:02:49.200 I mean my thumbnail whatever I make it is trying to get you guys's attention and your attention is
00:02:54.220 valuable so because our phones have our attention and in a lot of cases like you get better results
00:03:03.000 from your phone like you know you might make more friends in like I don't know for men it's probably
00:03:09.500 not social media it's more like like I've seen best man videos where the best man is like they
00:03:16.980 met and like call of duty or something I don't know like that's what my brothers would spend
00:03:22.220 like hours playing and oh gosh oh my god this looks so so weird um
00:03:29.420 so I was thinking about how the new trends are basically
00:03:35.560 we used to have communities like in person and now it's shifting to online communities
00:03:42.340 because like I was in a TikTok live yesterday and I was talking to this girl from New York
00:03:48.940 and I was asking her like oh did you used to go out and she said yeah I used to go out in New York
00:03:54.560 City but now I mostly stay home and I'm like oh well what do you do and she has this whole community
00:03:59.600 she built with people um from from New York Ellie and like not from New York sorry with people that
00:04:10.400 she's built like online and she hangs out with them like every night and so that used to be
00:04:16.120 something you do i don't know because i wasn't alive for it so i went to catholic school so
00:04:21.780 there was no like coffee shop next door that everyone would just hang out at because um
00:04:28.220 like everyone lived kind of far um oh man it's kind of slippery
00:04:34.560 okay hold on hold on but i was thinking about how like 50 years ago
00:04:44.940 she probably would have hung out with the same people every day like after school so this makes
00:04:50.160 people not have real social skills because I mean you can meet your friends online but if it's like
00:04:57.540 a 100 online friendship there's just things you're gonna miss like you're not gonna be making eye
00:05:02.680 contact you're not gonna be you know like there's just stuff you're gonna miss and this impacts
00:05:09.280 everybody. This pretty girl used to like kind of attract people that would give her, I don't know 1.00
00:05:19.320 if I'm saying this right, it would attract men and women. Like if you put a pretty girl, she was like 0.99
00:05:26.160 in her 20s, cute, and let's say she was at a coffee shop 50 years ago. Well, you know, the guys would
00:05:33.280 then get practice approaching women in person because they would approach this cute girl at a
00:05:37.160 coffee shop right and the women would get like practice I guess or learn the skill of having 1.00
00:05:45.320 female friendships because she's like sitting in the coffee shop and the simps would learn the 1.00
00:05:52.620 downfall of being friends with women by hitting on her and you know listening to her emotional
00:05:58.040 problems in the coffee shop. Um, but now this girl's sitting at home and I would say this is 0.99
00:06:07.480 kind of a trend everywhere. It's why everything looks so dystopian is because I don't even think
00:06:12.900 the pretty girls are like whoring at clubs anymore. Um, they're just in online communities 1.00
00:06:19.120 and it's kind of scrambling everyone's brain and there's people that fight it, right? There's
00:06:23.920 people that say oh well I'm just going to be completely online um but it doesn't I don't
00:06:30.960 really see it working I know a few people like that um and one of them he's really big into
00:06:37.800 going like to events and his job is kind of networking um but it always ends up affecting
00:06:44.360 their real life because the women that they're dating are in these online communities and a lot 0.98
00:06:49.740 of them are developing pretty bad like mental illness and I'm not mentally ill I know some
00:06:56.700 people probably think so but you know like I'm not an SSRIs or anything um but I've even noticed
00:07:06.600 that I get really antsy when I haven't like you know gone for walks or like it even like robs you
00:07:16.000 of your attention in your house like you're less likely to cook breakfast like I'll react to these
00:07:21.400 women doing like what I eat in a day or what I do in a day and none of them cook breakfast 1.00
00:07:26.040 and for a while I realized that I started to like now like now I do it but um because I used to be
00:07:33.420 fat and so because you're not paying attention you're on your phone for an hour in the morning
00:07:38.660 now you don't have your breakfast cooked and now you stop at Starbucks and get like a sugar drink
00:07:43.920 and now you're obese um and I think that in 2025 the most valuable skill you can have
00:07:52.240 is the ability to pay attention and I struggle with this oh my god I struggle with this too
00:07:56.700 but like I think the people that are gonna go forward are not really the people that don't
00:08:05.400 use social media because I think it's pretty unlikely that you can really get
00:08:11.180 like I can just speak from my experience and the most networking friendship
00:08:17.680 business opportunities I've gotten have been on social media I'm in a little different of
00:08:25.000 position but like you know I've tried networking events I've tried in person stuff and it just
00:08:30.720 never really like the most the most successful or useful or helpful people I've met in every
00:08:38.800 area of my life. Like, like I met the guy that gave me advice on how to grow a YouTube channel
00:08:45.140 by sending him a LinkedIn message. And I tried like a turning point of that in person.
00:08:51.600 And that didn't really help me. Does that make sense? So it just seems like the people
00:08:56.780 that are going to make it are the people that can use social media as a tool and have the ability
00:09:03.800 to pay attention because if you spend too much time on social media, you're going to get kind
00:09:10.000 of weird and you're not going to cook and then you're going to get fat. So, um, sorry if this
00:09:17.960 is a little sporadic today. I don't know if you're following, but let me know in the comments what
00:09:22.520 you think. Um, Ellie's here. Hold on. Ellie, say hi. Okay. All right. Bye guys.