Pearl - The Power of Paying Attention： My Goals List

00:00:00.320 What up, guys? Welcome to my coffee thoughts. Today, I want to talk about how I learn and

00:00:09.020 like what goes on in my head a little bit. And again, I'm kind of having trouble articulating

00:00:14.600 some of these thoughts. So I kind of spitball during these coffee thoughts. Today, I don't

00:00:19.180 of coffee but I have a giant water bottle so usually in my head in my day I divide my day up

00:00:31.420 oh into I just thought of another one three um three categories so I usually start my day

00:00:41.620 with music I realize this is going to be backwards now that I hold it up so it kind of maybe defeats

00:00:47.840 the purpose um but whatever so I start my day I do piano and guitar and the reason I do piano

00:00:56.040 and guitar is because it helps me with work and it's something I've always wanted to do so I've

00:01:01.600 always loved singing I came out of like the womb singing and I've always thought it would be cool

00:01:07.300 to like be able to produce my own music um and so in my head there's like the goal is to produce

00:01:17.340 music right and be able to write my own music and the things I have to learn or I want to learn

00:01:23.200 right piano, guitar, voice, music theory, maybe music production okay. I think I'm getting a

00:01:32.000 little bit sick so if I'm a little bit slow today forgive me. Then I usually go to the gym sometimes

00:01:39.860 these can intertwine, right? And there's a ton of stuff that go into fitness, right? And by the way,

00:01:49.160 I think I've talked about my struggles with eating and being healthy. I've always felt like eating

00:01:54.760 was my Achilles heel in life. I've always been very jealous of people that just stop eating and

00:02:01.540 have discipline. You know how some people, they just can't go to bars because their like personality

00:02:08.260 or whatever it is, has just a negative disposition towards alcohol. They know that if they're in the

00:02:14.260 bar, they have no self-control. That's how I feel about overeating. And I think I've put hundreds

00:02:21.220 of hours into having a probably decent body, like not even great, but like good, you know,

00:02:29.260 because this is just something that I struggle with. You know, some people struggle, like people

00:02:34.760 just have different Achilles heels in life. And I realized a lot of the reason, um, I had this

00:02:41.800 Achilles heel, oh shit, was because my mother, um, she would always cook for like maybe big events

00:02:46.460 and stuff, but she didn't really cook like dated, like, I don't know. She just never really taught

00:02:51.940 us how to cook. Um, I don't remember why or whatever. And just as a person, I spent a lot

00:02:58.120 of time as a kid. I'm a very good volleyball player to the point. Um, I just have played for

00:03:03.400 so long that I can play any position. Um, I I've never coached, but I could, and I can make decent

00:03:10.680 money. Like if this ever goes South, I could, but remember when you put all your time and energy

00:03:15.280 into volleyball and basketball, one of the downside was as an adult, there was a lot of

00:03:19.820 life skills I did not have. And that included cooking, cleaning. Um, because if you think

00:03:25.500 about it, my schedule in high school, three o'clock, um, then I would have two hour volleyball,

00:03:30.420 two-hour basketball practice. You know, I get home, I got to do homework. When am I going to

00:03:35.300 cook and clean? Never. So this was something I learned as an adult. And I realized that part

00:03:42.240 of the reason I struggled with food was the dishes would take too long, so I had to learn to clean

00:03:47.180 them better. I had to learn to cook better. I didn't understand lifting, so I didn't know why

00:03:52.840 I was doing certain lifts. Working out's never been that hard for me. I've always worked out,

00:03:58.480 but it's the food. Um, I didn't have a like concept of how much I was eating. There was like,

00:04:04.840 I don't know, things in my diet that were just really bad. Um, mobility. I was really unflexible.

00:04:12.900 That was something I worked on eating whole foods as opposed to process. I've told you guys, um,

00:04:21.120 drinking more water, not having a normal sleep schedule. I even use a foot spreader. Now I use

00:04:26.800 the toe shoes they look so dorky but I do not care anyway so there's all these things that go

00:04:31.560 into fitness and at its core really it's just diet and I've always been very jealous of people

00:04:38.660 that could just eat and they're like yeah I can just stop when I'm full and I'm like

00:04:42.900 I hate you anyways then I have my work skills so there's like you know I want to get better

00:04:51.880 debating, writing shows, documentary appearance, fundraising, email alerts, whatever. Then there's

00:04:59.440 life skills that I could be better at. Like I would say finances, right? Every woman, the stock

00:05:05.220 market, et cetera. Then I've noticed that I need to also try to have social skills if I can. I do

00:05:14.440 have them, but I've noticed sometimes if I'm really into my work, I don't go outside and then

00:05:21.340 I get a little bit weird you know I mean I think that you know it's like a muscle I think Scott a

00:05:25.920 lot of you came from Scott Adams so I don't know if anyone else's brain works like this but

00:05:32.160 I always like right now because we're building our app so if you guys didn't know

00:05:41.940 we're creating a we're fixing our app it's a long story why we're fixing it but we have to

00:05:49.240 fix the audacity network app and make an easy donation system for people so you guys can watch

00:05:55.420 my coffee talks and maybe donate you know if you want um and then we can use that money to fund more

00:06:00.860 documentaries the first one we're doing is what's in it for men talking about marriage but the second

00:06:05.460 one i'd like to be military um and having a good email system and while i'm waiting for the

00:06:12.340 developers to do that. I've decided that I wanted to invest a little bit more time into life skills,

00:06:20.540 which would be fitness. And the reason being, because I know once I'm done with the app,

00:06:26.980 I'm going to go all balls to the walls back with the channel again. Okay. So

00:06:34.340 I'm going to do fitness and I'm going to kind of put life skills because I've noticed the more

00:06:41.620 life skills I have the healthier I am you know like you know for example if you're spending too

00:06:48.220 much eating out if you're budgeting better you tend to eat like healthier anyway so I'm just

00:06:52.460 going to put that in one so that's really been my number one right and then two right now I would

00:07:01.240 say is work in terms of like wanting to improve at something does that make sense like these are

00:07:08.680 how I organize my goals. And three is music, I would say the last three weeks. And what I've

00:07:15.640 noticed is even if I show up, like I show up to my lessons, I seem to have a limit on my paying

00:07:23.800 attention power. Now, I don't know if this is because I'm dumb. I don't know if everybody has

00:07:28.300 this. So I'm kind of wondering if you guys have this too. But like today, I'll give you my day

00:07:34.200 today. I think I made progress in learning to lift a little bit better. I've recently kind of

00:07:41.180 gotten across the barrier that I need to slowly lift and do less weight and just go lower and

00:07:47.880 that's better, right? I've also made progress in learning to cook. So sometimes I take a step

00:07:55.080 backwards in one area. So like I recently learned to make bread from scratch because in the long run,

00:08:01.540 I think that it would be cool to like know every single ingredient that I may have that I have

00:08:09.760 however in the short term I ate more bread this week and that kind of went away from the losing

00:08:15.300 weight the fitness goal I don't know but I feel as though maybe the first time my mental energy

00:08:22.940 was spent on learning to make it and maybe not counting the calories in it but down the road

00:08:29.160 learning to make it will be like I don't know like that it'll be so automatic okay I'm gonna

00:08:38.820 get to that so all right when I have goals right and all the little goals go under the goal

00:08:45.160 I found I can only focus on one maybe two and make significant progress and even if I'm like

00:08:51.580 sitting like through it like I'm still have my two hours of lessons or I still

00:08:56.680 I'm still going to work and doing this like doing my show it just seems like I have the mental

00:09:02.920 capacity to make progress on too um where I'm making where I'm like I learned something and

00:09:09.620 these always switch in order or maybe something else will come in okay

00:09:13.200 now when I'm learning a skill I've noticed and I want to

00:09:21.200 you start the skill learning um I think the best way to articulate this

00:09:28.600 I've noticed a few things one I tends to take me about two years to become competent

00:09:35.300 anything so any skill I'm trying to learn um that when I when I start taking it um seriously to the

00:09:42.800 point that it's in my number one or two goal um for example nutrition I would say I started like

00:09:48.620 a year ago. Um, and it took about a year, year and a half to where I've made progress. And I

00:09:54.340 think I'll be an expert in about six to eight months ish. I don't remember the exact start date.

00:10:00.680 And I've noticed that in the beginning, when I'm like learning something, um,

00:10:06.740 I usually have it like at the bottom of my list. So if there's like, let's say four, three,

00:10:14.440 let's say there's my normal three goals and then a fourth one comes in right and usually when I'm

00:10:21.060 focused on these I make like significant so if there was like a a mountain I make like a little

00:10:27.180 bit of progress but usually for year one year two I'm just casually like reading interested in the

00:10:33.900 goal but I don't really go balls to the walls okay and then maybe two or three years later

00:10:40.500 the top two spots open up. And once it can get into the top two spots where I can really focus

00:10:49.280 my, I guess you could call it problem solving ability on those two, then there's a, like a

00:10:58.060 up, like I go up really fast. And for me, I've noticed that I do better.

00:11:04.100 Um, I would rather just, um, go to the gym every single day, like, like seven days a week until I

00:11:14.980 understand the, the thing I'm trying to learn or cook every single day, seven days a week until I

00:11:22.080 get to the point that I want to be. Okay. So, oh my God, this is so bad. Um, I need to stop saying

00:11:32.100 that you guys watch them you watch them so i'm gonna keep going um and i've noticed that

00:11:41.380 when you learn a skill your first like actually i'm gonna make it a i'm gonna make it a mountain

00:11:47.140 so let's say here is the end maybe actually i'm gonna make it i think it's more like stairs maybe

00:11:55.140 okay so what here's when you know the skill um and this is about a two to three year process

00:12:07.220 i might add another year and so for like a few months it'll be your number one or two priority

00:12:12.780 and then you'll get here but then it bounces down so you plateau you can't really go then it's back

00:12:18.960 to number one or two priority and this is over the course of two to three years and again you

00:12:24.500 could still be showing up to that class or that whatever and maybe you'll get up a little bit but

00:12:29.560 I've just noticed I don't make significant progress until my mental energy is like on it and this

00:12:35.560 happened with my YouTube show um I remember I just got up out of a relationship when I started my

00:12:42.080 YouTube show and I was like okay I'm sad I'm about to make a YouTube show and I got I had so much

00:12:50.800 progress so fast because it was my number one like that was my focus I don't know so but once

00:12:58.600 you have the skill then you don't have to spend your paying attention power on that skill anymore

00:13:04.440 so again I've always been so jealous of people that have the fitness skill and the not overeating

00:13:10.480 skill um because I'm like wow I have to pay attention to this all the time it's probably

00:13:19.520 you know like my parents always scared me because we have some addiction in our family

00:13:25.160 and they always told me that like be careful with alcohol and drugs because you might be addicted

00:13:31.420 and it wasn't until I was in my mid-20s where I thought you know I don't think I have addiction

00:13:36.960 in me I don't think that's something that I came with whatever in the hard wiring the universe

00:13:42.000 it might be in some other people in my family but me I don't really struggle with that I could not

00:13:47.580 drink for a year. Um, and it wouldn't really bother me. I could kind of live without it,

00:13:53.680 you know, like, uh, maybe like after college, I kind of missed it a little bit, but I was like,

00:13:59.840 eh, yeah, I don't know if that makes sense. So the skills that you're supposed to have,

00:14:06.580 and I would say I didn't have when I was 18. Um, there's a few reasons. One, I was kind of

00:14:11.580 spoiled right we had a lot of um help and two um you know we had nannies and three i also did

00:14:20.880 travel volleyball and i would say that's such a time suck that you you lose like the ability

00:14:27.680 to do certain skills but you're supposed to have financial skills i would say cooking and cleaning

00:14:37.840 skills, social skills. I don't know. Maybe you could put maybe handy skills. I would say it's

00:14:52.780 even good for women to know how to, I have some cousins and even the women can fix everything.

00:14:58.040 So, and I had none of these and it took me actually, I'm going to use the other one.

00:15:03.600 um let's go back to let's pretend it's the mountain

00:15:06.320 so again once you get to here then you don't have to pay attention anymore you just automatically do

00:15:16.620 it um and so one thing i always struggled with was i was really messy my whole life i'm still

00:15:22.620 messy i'll probably always struggle with it but i realized i wasn't it wasn't that i was messy it

00:15:27.400 was that i didn't have the skill of being clean um people that are really clean they know the

00:15:33.160 exact products to use. They can put the stuff in the dishwasher the exact right way. And either

00:15:40.980 they've learned it themselves, it bothered them from a young age, they've put their attention

00:15:45.280 like towards that. And I realized that I just didn't have that skill. I was the same way I

00:15:52.100 could learn to, you know, play volleyball, I had to learn that skill. And what a lot of people

00:15:59.280 don't realize um and I'm not I don't even know if I would change it because I do really enjoy

00:16:04.740 volleyball so maybe it was good but as an adult having to learn all these things takes away from

00:16:13.380 your romantic you know endeavor yeah because you're spending time learning this and not that

00:16:19.960 but um romantic endeavors your money because you're kind of playing catch-up where a lot of

00:16:26.060 kids that like had really, um, maybe stay at home moms or maybe, I don't know, like what age do kids

00:16:33.860 are kids supposed to learn this stuff? But I don't know. I, I grew up, I'm a very good at basketball

00:16:39.300 and volleyball. Do you know what I mean? It's like prosy. I'm not trying to say this as a complaint.

00:16:44.800 I'm not, I'm not trying to complain. I'm just trying to, I observe myself and I observe other

00:16:50.600 people. And I would say each of these to get good at takes two years for a woman. A man would probably

00:16:58.960 do it in a year. Because you have to use your paying attention power to pay attention to the

00:17:06.100 spending, the cooking, the like icon to all this stuff. And I think before everyone just had all

00:17:13.780 this. They could just do it by the time they're 18. But because of technology and the whole

00:17:20.640 infrastructure is really different, everybody's at school and not at home, so you don't learn as

00:17:25.040 much from the parents. Now you've got a two-year mountain to climb to overcome these things.

00:17:32.600 And some of these I'm not even all the way through. And what I've noticed is really intelligent people

00:17:39.080 have a higher paying attention ability.

00:17:42.400 So I'm a hard worker for a woman,

00:17:44.660 probably not a man,

00:17:46.040 but I'm still a woman,

00:17:47.900 so I still do the most retarded things all the time.

00:17:50.240 It's just incredible.

00:17:53.700 But I've noticed that men in general

00:17:55.760 seem to have a higher paying attention ability.

00:18:00.020 And they're more able to teach things to themselves,

00:18:02.960 where me, I have a very difficult time

00:18:05.060 if I don't have someone explaining it to me.

00:18:09.080 I've also noticed, is anyone still going to be here?

00:18:13.720 That if I feel frustrated, which women, we do a lot.

00:18:18.800 Frustrated.

00:18:20.600 Oh, another skill I realized I don't have.

00:18:23.360 I don't think I fully know how to pronounce words and read.

00:18:26.480 And it would probably take me two years.

00:18:28.540 I know how to read, but it's like, there's just gaps where I'm like, I don't under, I can't pronounce that.

00:18:34.040 If you've been watching me around a while, you probably noticed this.

00:18:37.480 and this is something I want to tackle, but it's going to take me a two-year battle. I'm trying to

00:18:41.820 learn music theory right now. But anyways, then I get frustrated. I realized usually frustration

00:18:49.220 is going too fast. So whenever I'm in music theory, and I'm like, oh, oh, this is terrible.

00:18:57.520 I have to, number one, slow it down, stupid. You're stupid. You know, it's just easier to

00:19:02.840 just be like I am dumb um or maybe not dumb but I am I'm not dumb but I'm slow so you got to slow

00:19:10.760 it down like that's the best way to put it you got to slow it down and you have to cancel the

00:19:19.860 negative thoughts because the thoughts in your head are going to tell you that you're dumb and

00:19:25.080 they're going to tell you that like like why can't I get this I think men don't have these thoughts

00:19:30.860 They focus, solve problems, solve problems.

00:19:33.360 Where women, it's like, oh, we have these awful thoughts.

00:19:36.440 So you got to slow it down.

00:19:39.880 And so if there's a piece, I have to break it down into smaller pieces, slow it down, and then try again.

00:19:47.600 So, again, this is a working thought, and I really want to articulate this better.

00:19:53.560 So if you guys have any thoughts on, like, learning things, I do think women, we waste a lot of money on teachers.

00:19:59.580 um whether it's personal trainers and whatever and I can say I'm guilty of this

00:20:03.380 um have you guys like do you guys teach yourself stuff have you felt like I don't that's like do

00:20:12.720 you think I'm just curious if anyone's done the homeschooling route do you think that kids can

00:20:18.000 teach themselves things without like monitoring and what is the best like learning style you've

00:20:24.580 noticed. Um, yeah. So, but anyways, um, anyone that struggles with life skills, I definitely did.

00:20:36.780 Um, just know a lot of times you're not messy or it's not that you can't cook. There's just like

00:20:43.060 a gap in your knowledge. And if you really put your mind to it, um, you can fix the gap in the

00:20:49.620 knowledge, but you can't do everything. And that's, you know, it's funny. My father, and I talk about

00:20:55.660 my dad, he would always tell me that you can't be good at everything and just to focus on what

00:21:00.140 you're good at. But my dad was good at everything. I'm like, yeah, that's rich of you to say, dad.

00:21:07.020 You're good at everything. You know, so anyways. All right, guys, this thought is not

00:21:12.540 formulated at all, but I really want to know what you think in the comments. I love your comments.

00:21:17.960 I read them pretty much every, every time. So let me know, like the video and I'll see you next time.

Pearl - March 19, 2026

The Power of Paying Attention： My Goals List

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