Pearl - December 26, 2024The Rise of Loneliness And Parasocial Relationships ｜ Pearl Daily
Episode Stats
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Summary
In today's episode of Pearl Daily, we discuss the topic of friendship and how it has been affected by social media and social media in general. In this episode, I talk about how important it is to have a good circle of friends and why it is important to have good ones.
Transcript
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good afternoon good evening ladies and gentlemen wait are we live hold on let me let me double
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check oh wow we are live sorry guys good afternoon good evening ladies and gentlemen welcome to
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another episode of pearl daily first I want to say Merry Christmas to all of you and thank you
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so much for watching these past three years as you guys know it has been quite the journey
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and I am so happy to have you guys along with me next I want to issue a thank you and you know
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there are some people that I want to thank above all else that really have skyrocketed my platform
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the fake traditional conservative women thank you for keeping me employed if it wasn't for you guys
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thank you someone said pearl you look like you just got rail all right i'm not having the best
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hair day okay could you just could you just leave me be you guys are too much sometimes
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Okay, as you guys know, if you want to contribute, go to the audacitynetwork.com and get the
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I do read you guys' comments that are in the live chat that is on the website, so make
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Okay, so today's topic, we are going to be talking about friendship.
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Now, most people believe that friendship is important to having a happy life.
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most people believe that relationships are important. Now, as you guys know, all of the
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data is showing that men and women are going further and further apart. And I'm not here to
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sell hope. I'm not here to sell dreams. You know, it would be much easier for me to do a stream
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saying, yes, there's going to be families. Everything's going to swing back. But
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there is zero indication that that's going to happen. So what is the definition of a friendship?
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A friend is somebody you care about, trust, enjoy spending time with, that makes you feel
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happy and supported. And friendships can vary based on many factors. Now, friendships have
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a tendency to last 17 years, but only six of 29 friends people make in their lifetime last that
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long. A study of 2,000 people found that people lose touch with almost 50% of their friends.
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Research shows up to 70% of close friends and 52% of social networks dissolve after seven years,
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and people regularly make new friends until their mid-20s, but friendship social circles
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have a tendency to shrink after that. And childhood friendships last a lifetime for
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most people. According to Jerry Hall, it takes about 50 hours of relationships to move from
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acquaintance to casual friend and around 90 hours to become a friend and 200 hours to become a newer
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best friend. Yeah. So in order to get a best friend, you got to put 200 hours in and it just
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seems like the older we get, the less that we have the time. And as I was reading about friendship
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and about these trends, it really did match up with what I saw in my own personal life. You know,
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they say that most friendship circles will dissolve after seven years. That was pretty
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much true. And I would say out of every 29 friends, what did I say? Six of 29 friends,
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people make it last, you know, 17 years. I would say that's about true. That's kind of what I've
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seen. Okay. So factors that can affect the length of a friendship are shared experiences, mutual
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respect and effort from both individuals now an interesting thing that I've been seeing on social
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media is both men and women talking about how they have no close friends now I'm going to show
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you guys a couple of videos that really piqued my curiosity into this topic so this is one
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i am 25 and i have no friends let me put this hold on so this is like a compilation of all of
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them let's see i am 25 and i have no friends that's when i realized nobody nobody cares about
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you in this world what the fuck do you do when you're depressed and you don't know what the
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fuck is going on with your life i'm 23 i'm about to graduate all these kind of good things are
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happening around me but man i ain't been more depressed in my life because i don't have any
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friends and honestly i don't think i've ever had friends i don't know man i'm just tired of being
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alone bro shit's actually mad sad and depressing hand on heart man yeah it's sad and the only thing
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i won was being alone and i tried to fill the void like with streaming and that or like playing games
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let me play it one more time just to i think you guys missed i am 25 and i have no friends
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that's when i realized no no no we didn't okay then i have one more i'm gonna show you
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and for a lot of men this seems to almost be pragmatic so there's this guy on youtube his
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name is terry joe jr and he had a video titled why you don't want friends family or a partner
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anymore so this is an issue globally today bro globally this is an issue and most likely for
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those of you that clicked on this video a lot of you have this mindset like you
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don't want friends family or partner anymore I'm gonna tell you why you think
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this way and you shouldn't put the stamp down that things are gonna be this way
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forever it's just you're probably making a transition you should never be closed
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mind and yeah I'm gonna be single for life I don't want any more to do with
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nobody else and I just this and that like that's not a good mindset to have you have to be optimistic
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you have to be open-minded but I'm going to tell you guys today the reason why you think this way
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and we've all been there bro I used to have a shitload of friends was involved with family
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had a girl and you never know how life is going to pan out you never know what you're going to
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get hit with men and like i'm a people person people still enjoy talking to me wherever i go
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but it's like it's more so to do with me than anything else and it's because of what life has
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thrown our way we have a standard there's not many people in the world if you look at like
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the majority of the world that has these highest standards and the reason we have this high of
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standards is because we accepted a lot of stuff around ourselves and we got let down we expected
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a lot of the friends we had to be friends for life and we expected the girl we were with that
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that was going to be our girl we expect a family not to screw us over but here we are things happen
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life can take a curveball so fast it's not even funny and
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we don't want to accept a lot of people into our lives i'm very selective if i'm gonna have
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these friends groups and everything else it's gotta be solid as hell like some gang shit type
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shit bro like they're not friends with a million other people like we're close and whoever they're
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friends with we're friends with and it's just like it's a solid group because this is what's
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needed today in the world because the world's nuts and um same thing with your girl if she's
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talking to a bunch of different guys then is that really your girl no we have high standards bro
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we have high standards and that's why a lot of us are in the position we're currently in
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because we have high standards we don't accept just anything like a lot of other people do
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and then that's when you get the 40 50 year old people calling people like me because things went
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wrong for so long and that's what a lot of other people is going to go through eventually
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like i'm still young there's going to be a lot of people that's even younger than me
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around the same age that's going to go through a lot of stuff somewhere down the line they're
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going to get nailed people's going to get lost the most important thing is that you don't lose
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yourself the most important thing is that you do not lose yourself you don't you have to be who you
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are you have to have standards and this is what makes a man anyways is a man with standards
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you can't just accept anything in your life that's some kid shit a lot of people today
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is involved in the kid shit we ain't doing it we did it before when we actually were kids
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we're not kids no more we're grown adults and to have these backstabbing bums around us to
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have females we're unsure about around us and family members who don't got our backs who think
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they can just use us for money or some dumb shit it's not happening it's not happening
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and this is probably why you don't want friends family or a partner around you anymore because
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a lot of people's bullshit and they don't really got you like that that is why
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the best thing you can do under these circumstances is become a hyper-focused individual
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do not cut corners don't beat around the bush become the best you can be create as much value
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as you possibly can and carry on life and what's going to happen is going to happen
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i don't recommend being that close-minded where you're completely giving up on people
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and everything else you shouldn't because you never know when great things can happen
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where i come from i don't have that group of friends where it's like all the time solid type
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stuff i get along with a lot of people but at the end of the day it's like it's more so acquaintances
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like there's a few people like bro i'm probably closest with people that don't even come from
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from where i come from like foreigners literally so it's like the people i'm closest with is
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scattered all over the world in different places even suddenly three hours away from myself right
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now two hours away but it's like to have a solid group where you come from to have family on point
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to have that girl to have all these things intact it's not an easy task today you can have this
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stuff you could have a girl you could have friends groups you could have family around you but is it
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solid is it worthy or are you the one carrying everyone on your back like a backpack that's
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too heavy and this seems to be a common complaint from people it seems like many people feel like
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they are the ones putting effort into relationships and friendships and not getting anything
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in return you know because i and i'm going to go through these in a bit but i started
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pulling people on twitter and say for and saying for those of you that don't have close friendships
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or for those of you that have friendships and why and this was one of the most common things
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i heard people say was it's because i stopped putting in effort and the friendship just dissolved
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it's like you got them you're there for the benefit for their benefit but they ain't got you
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you don't feel it you feel used the whole time and you don't feel like anyone's around you that
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that's like heaven high standards bro is going to protect you from a lot of bs is what it's
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going to do you demand a lot from yourself you can do so much for others but can others do the
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same for you you have to have people who's on kind of your level and to me this is a guy
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just in the background he seems to be doing well for himself he it looks like he's got a good
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apartment that doesn't look cheap it's it's not really the same vibe i get from some of the videos
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where you know the guy looks a little bit socially awkward unattractive um not in shape not in a
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you know in a shitty apartment like it's interesting because two men with very different
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options in life are seemingly coming to the same conclusion which is it's just not worth it anymore
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and what's interesting is i'm seeing this pattern not only in relationships with women
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but with friendships in general let me keep going back wavelength at least in mindset and they're
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building themselves up they understand they understand the world and how things have to be
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because anything else is peanuts man it's it's peanuts it's stupid it shouldn't even exist
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but you have lots of people just roaming around today bro they're in these friends groups and it's
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it's not gonna last a lot of people have these girls but it's not gonna last
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we've been there bro i've been there from a decade ago a decade
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it's time to get focused it's time to transition it's time to take your surroundings very seriously
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and only the strong is gonna survive only the real ones are gonna do it right everyone else
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they're gonna live 20 plus years of their lives coming coming up and everything's gonna go to
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shit and it's because they are shit they didn't do the right things they just lived their life
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kind of using other people and not using themselves as much as they should have to
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become a valuable human being to others around them that is what everybody must do so you
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having that kind of a standard bro it's gonna push most people away i bro there's
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lots of people that even want to come and guys you're right friendships should be mutual so if
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you're in the chat right now like the video because i'm demonetized i do this for free
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i'm not even the least you guys could do is hit the like button hit it all right
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around me but i don't really let it happen like i just kind of
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i know what this is i know what this is i know what this is just pushing shit away and even like
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the amount of talking stages i've been in with females it's like i know what this is and no i'm
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not going to take it easy on you no i'm not i know what this is why would i take it easy on you
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that's unintelligent i'd be naive i'm sorry that i'm not stupid guys i'm sorry that i'm not stupid
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i'm sorry you can't take advantage of me oh my god i'm so sorry no i'm not sorry
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guys i've been through it a lot of you have been through it and a lot of us have this mindset like
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we don't really want many people around us i don't i like selective that's what i like
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and the people i select they're solid and it's nothing even crazy it's not like the next albert
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einstein's and it's like that bro they're just solid they're not perfect they're just solid
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people you can feel it when you speak with them you can feel it when you engage with them they're
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they're actually a person that has done work that has self-reflected that that that has humbled
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themselves to know they must be of value to the people they're involved with
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not these other bloodsuckers out here bro that's trying to use you 24 7 not happening
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there's nothing special anywhere y'all's the most averages averages things ever it's just like
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nothing excites me people don't excite me but there's the odd people that come around that
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excite me and that's good that's good not many people do it's predictable predictable someone's
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coming up you already know what they're going to say predictable predictable predictable predictable
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predictable. It almost drives you nuts. It almost drives you nuts how predictable shit
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is. And it's because they ain't got a solid head attached to their skeleton. They just
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don't. And that's why a lot of things go the way they go, man, because
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we understand what the world is like and we push people away because they're no good for us and we
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already know it and yeah we're strict with our surroundings it's called being personally
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intelligent oh my god and you guys are agreeing with me in the chat you know we have nomi b says
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over time, the realization kicks in that 99% of people aren't talking to. And when I watch
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women's videos about these things, a lot of times the way I would perceive it is
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they are either too lazy to go out and try making friends, or they would make videos saying they
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have no friends for attention though but men it just seemed to be a little bit different for me
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um they just seemed exasperated like used up in a way like they were tired of being used for their
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resources and their time from both men I mean women especially we all know that on this channel but
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it wasn't that simple a lot of them seem tired of being used by everybody and they're just sort
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of asking themselves what do i get out of this what do i get out of this friendship
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there's a lot of things i was around my whole life that i had no business beat around but
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we're all brought up somewhere around certain types of people and
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it took me a while for me to be able to spread my wings just because of the positions i found
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myself in in life but i spread my wings and no one can hold me back i'm like the air all over
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the place doing whatever i want doing as i please growing as a human just go go go go go and i just
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can't stand the individuals that come around and try to stop me from from being me or looking at
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me and talking to me like you know who i am you don't know who i am every day i've even heard men
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say they don't like relationships because it comes with responsibilities and when people care about
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you you if your mother cares about you you have to go and visit her twice a year and you're obligated
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to or and it almost seemed like the responsibility of the relationship and the time it would take up
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you know men just sort of realized it wasn't worth their time anymore friends family both
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um i'm gonna play this a little longer i need to go switch something up there so just give me a
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second guys today i don't want to know who you are let's just live every day like it is i don't
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care what your name is i don't give a we're new people every single day let's keep living every
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day like it's their last and let's keep putting up this fight and let's keep going on in life
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it's fun people need something to live for man there's so many people around you just looking
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for you to entertain them that's what they're doing that's all they want is for you to entertain
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them because they are nothing they ain't got a head in their shoulders they just want you to
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come around to entertain them make them feel good make them do this make them do that make me do it
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how about you entertain me you can't i forgot you can't i can i can entertain you
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you can't entertain me that's why we ain't close
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no that's not the only reason why we're not close but you just get the point
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most people's not that interesting man and i'm not even trying to be a brick
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i'm just being serious it's like man things is bullshit
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there there are the odd people that come around and you have a fairly intelligent conversation
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with and everything else but other than that it's a bunch of bs it's just like
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it almost hurts your head more than anything else you just feel like i don't know it's
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ridiculous, man. It's absolutely ridiculous. This is why we just want to keep spreading our wings
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and keep growing past everything else because most people don't want to grow.
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Most things around you don't want to grow. I want to grow. I want to spread my wings and
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fly off like a bird, to be honest. I don't want to deal with most things around. I just get away
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from me get away from me get away from me i just i don't give up bro i don't care
00:25:45.560
please tell me something new tell me something different oh yeah
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you can't i like new stories i like fascinating things and conversations
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i don't care about today i don't like bro let's talk about the weather today oh it's
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this is what i mean man it's annoying it's just bro you hear it so much
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things just get annoying people annoy me it's like you just want to be around some more intelligent
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shit so that because it's what's going to help us grow and then some people get upset because we
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We just kind of shrugged them off and we don't want to talk.
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And it's like, I wasn't put on earth to entertain you.
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People expect things from us all the time because we're daddy.
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yeah and what do our children do extract value from us and our actual children
00:27:13.000
they're supposed to do that but are these our children is other grown adults
00:27:17.060
everywhere around you our children your children no this is a sickening thing
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about it this is what sickens me to death I don't get it
00:27:33.380
and man this has been going on for so many years this ain't nothing new this ain't something that
00:27:38.720
just happened yesterday this ain't something that happened last week this has been going on
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for a decade or more but bro like i was a kid once too but i was a smart kid i wasn't he
00:27:54.140
reminds me of what I've seen too and it's a phenomenon of
00:27:59.280
people that are old enough to be adults but mentally are children and I see this mostly
00:28:10.280
oftentimes in the ladies but the you know I see it in both genders and I think it's a millennial
00:28:17.040
thing like we're the kind of the Disney adult I think we're the generation that really just
00:28:22.380
postponed adulthood as long as humanly possible ever like that bro there's people that's 20 some
00:28:30.500
30 some 40 some and they're like that i wasn't even like that as a kid i was ahead of that as
00:28:36.580
a kid like you gotta be kidding me guys like you gotta be kidding me
00:28:41.860
like man my type of people are a people in life with a thirst for growth and hunger
00:28:52.480
those are my kind of people that know some shit that know something that get it not a lot of
00:28:59.140
people get it and it's just it's annoying after a while you can take some of it you can take it a
00:29:07.720
little bit but as time keeps going on it starts to drive you nuts you're around grown ass adults
00:29:15.380
and they expect you to fucking swing off a fucking branch by your teeth like i don't know
00:29:23.660
they just expect too much from you they expect you to entertain them and it just wastes your time
00:29:32.600
at the end of the day you gave them laughs you did things for them but it just wastes at your
00:29:37.400
time i'm not looking to have my time wasted i'm not looking to be around people like that i'm
00:29:43.640
looking to be around people who want to okay keep rolling and canoe because okay you guys get the
00:29:51.080
idea so i asked these questions on twitter you know if you're someone that doesn't have a lot of
00:29:57.960
friends what is the reason for it why did your friendship end and eventually guys we're going
00:30:03.960
going to do a call in where you guys can tell me your stories but I want to first okay so the
00:30:11.400
reasons that people said were one people feel like they're different than the people around you
00:30:17.580
around them many of the men that said they don't have a lot of friends have felt that that
00:30:23.320
they are just not interested in the same things that everyone else is interested in from a young
00:30:29.000
age. Some cite that it's video games, some cite that it's maybe a nerdy type of things, but
00:30:35.020
there is a general feeling that they do not fit in with the people around them. Now, when I was
00:30:43.240
reading through comments on different videos and I don't know, just different things people were
00:30:48.360
saying, some people do think that something is wrong with them personally, where they push people
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away for some reason um like i think one comment i read was you know um something's probably wrong
00:31:03.820
with me but you know i'm 71 alone and i'm happy now the next thing people would say for their
00:31:13.340
reasoning why they don't have friends is i never spoke with them about anything of substance number
00:31:18.940
Number three, some seem to feel as though they are morally superior or just better than
00:31:27.880
So there's a general feeling that maybe their friends were doing drugs and they didn't want
00:31:33.700
Maybe their friends weren't working as hard as them and they didn't want to go down that
00:31:39.080
A lot of people that seem to not have friends have a tendency to think that their friends,
00:31:48.100
is, I'm just telling you what people were saying. Um, they would say it's better to be alone than
00:31:53.640
in bad company, social anxiety. My girlfriend or wife is possessive and does not want to share
00:32:04.880
seven. I only put energy into people who put energy into me and I ended up alone.
00:32:12.580
my personal reasons are that I was more interested in other things and probably more
00:32:19.240
interested in those things to pay attention to friendships I can't get through small talk I
00:32:26.600
don't do small talk I honestly don't even wish to talk to people at all even about the things
00:32:31.640
I care about most women gossip and tend to bond over that it's just very shallow it takes up too
00:32:38.800
much time and energy and also people have no concept of planning anything these days i don't
00:32:46.160
have any close friends but only a couple who would do anything for me as i would for them
00:32:55.600
okay guys so i want to know in the chat what are your reasons if you don't have a lot of friends
00:33:02.960
what are your reasons for not having them now i'm going to read the audacity network members chat
00:33:10.340
which you go to the audacity network.com 10 bucks a month 80 bucks a year um and i read your chat so
00:33:18.260
richard says if there was a big war everything would reset i don't watch tv or follow sports
00:33:24.520
or drink so it's tough curveballs your best friend can become your worst enemy i have become
00:33:30.440
a rejection sensitive because of passive aggressive bullies and manipulative
00:33:34.400
medallers sounds like he is a good at pattern recognition dane i signed in late but this guy
00:33:41.240
sounds weak and feminine if he were a woman the words wouldn't change same basic wine
00:33:45.180
it's all feelings and how mean everyone is to him and it's always from the perspective that
00:33:49.640
he's the prize jacob the guy is right friends are only in your life for a reason or a season
00:33:54.260
rarely are they around forever dane if this whining and bitching is an example of how his
00:33:59.900
normal behavior it's then there's no wonder he doesn't have um he doesn't have grudges
00:34:06.940
he's not entitled to friends long term or otherwise okay that's what the people in the
00:34:13.100
chat are saying okay i'm gonna show you guys one more video and i'm gonna fix one more thing this
00:34:18.860
is from a nigerian woman who's 41 i'm 41 years old and i have no and has no friends i'm gonna show you
00:34:25.660
friends and no social i'm 41 years old and i have no friends and no social life
00:34:34.940
some days i'm i feel sad about this and some days i have come to terms with this fact
00:34:41.580
but this video is not about bashing anyone uh to be honest um i'm not completely selfish or
00:34:48.060
narcissistic enough to think that it's always everybody else's fault i know that i have a
00:34:53.260
role as well to playing this. But let me go a bit deeper into why I think I have no friends.
00:35:02.620
So I'm going to talk a bit about my childhood. I grew up in a broken family. My parents broke
00:35:10.540
up when I was I think about four years old and this was the beginning of you know everything
00:35:17.420
in terms of having detachment issues or attachment issues as well for that matter.
00:35:24.700
So what that meant for me was that I was juggled around like a ball basically between my
00:35:30.380
my mom and my dad and I moved around quite a lot. So I moved states three times. By the way,
00:35:38.860
I'm from Nigeria and Nigeria is a federation so we have states. So I moved states three times
00:35:45.660
and the fact that in Nigeria we've got over a hundred languages means that every time I moved
00:35:52.200
state I was moving to a place that had a completely different language although everyone speaks
00:35:57.180
English but the language was different the culture was different the food was different
00:36:02.100
school of course was different so I had to like reorientate myself all over again so I also I
00:36:10.500
attended two nursery schools, three primary schools, two
00:36:15.780
secondary schools and one university, thank goodness. But
00:36:19.620
each time I had to move, I had to say goodbye to my friends.
00:36:22.940
So we're talking about a time before the internet, right, a
00:36:27.260
time before mobile phones, as we know it today before Facebook
00:36:31.140
and Instagram. So once you left, that was it, you know, it was
00:36:37.420
goodbye. And so I learned to be by myself. And I learned to be my own
00:36:44.260
friend and be my own company. I was really lucky though, because then I
00:36:48.360
discovered books. And so I was able to escape from the world, basically. But I
00:36:54.800
think that also built a warped version of life in my head, because I was reading
00:37:01.640
lots of, you know, feel good books, fiction, you know, like romance, the
00:37:06.760
meals and booms. I don't know if you're of that generation. We had meals and booms. I believe it
00:37:11.800
still exists today. But anyway, I digress. So this really affected me growing up in terms of keeping
00:37:20.840
in touch with friends. I didn't have any close friends. You know, as soon as I was close enough
00:37:24.640
to people, it was like time to move. Now, I don't completely blame my parents because I know that
00:37:33.000
they were going through. I mean, now I know, even then, I think I have always been a kind of
00:37:38.400
intuitive person. You know, I knew that they were going through physical, mental, financial issues.
00:37:46.500
And so I didn't really blame them. Of course, I didn't understand what was going on back then.
00:37:56.440
But let's fast forward to high school. So in high school, secondary school, we call it
00:38:00.980
in Nigeria. In my final three years, I made very good friends. We were so close. We were tight.
00:38:08.460
We used to go to each other's homes. I thought, finally, I belong, you know. But then we went off
00:38:13.920
to university. We had different lives, different directions, and we lost touch. So what that meant
00:38:21.360
for me was that every time I would meet someone, okay, it's either of two things. So it's either
00:38:28.460
I would guard myself against, you know, letting them in, or I would completely open up and risk
00:38:38.360
getting hurt. And it hurts. It really, really hurts when you have no one really that you can
00:38:44.820
just talk to. It hurts deep, deep, deep, deep. I'm a strong person. I was a strong child. I have a
00:38:54.940
brother but he's five years older than i am so that means that i mean he's a boy uh plus he's
00:39:00.940
five years older than me so we never really wear that clothes um we had different interests um i
00:39:06.900
was very bookish and he was more artistic he is more artistic he's still artistic and i'm more of
00:39:12.540
a you know a book warm uh so it didn't really we didn't have that much of a tight relationship we
00:39:20.700
love each other but that much that tight relationship we didn't have so let's move to
00:39:25.740
my when i hear her reasons the man seems exhausted he seems like he has no friends
00:39:36.080
because he is exhausted from what comes with friendship where the woman seems like she
00:39:52.340
I didn't really, I wasn't that close with my brother.
00:39:59.320
You guys can tell me if you think anything different, but we're going to keep going.
00:40:05.040
So in my university days, I did make friends, but then I wasn't, they weren't like a major
00:40:12.740
If I didn't, I didn't really care because by then I had grown to just love myself and just be by myself.
00:40:27.340
But then when I started having relationships, romantic relationships, I would expect my boyfriend to be my friend, you know, but it's not the same.
00:40:37.640
However, when I met my boyfriend, who is now my husband now, things changed a lot.
00:40:45.260
He became my everything, my best friend, my confidant, everything.
00:40:49.440
And so I didn't feel the need to have other friends.
00:40:55.060
But now that I'm in my forties, I've started thinking about it a little bit deeper.
00:41:07.620
I have problems carrying a relationship, a friendship beyond just, you know, hey, hi,
00:41:14.460
and just hang out and just have a chit chat here and there and just move on.
00:41:19.580
So my boyfriend and I, my husband now, and I, we moved to Malta from Nigeria because
00:41:25.820
my boyfriend at the time was transferred here for work.
00:41:32.100
And so we've been living in Malta for 10 years now.
00:41:35.600
At the start, we met a group of friends, a group of people, and we hung out together.
00:41:41.720
And I thought, yes, finally, you know, people that I can invite home, I can go to their
00:41:46.520
place and ladies that I can really have a good chat with and stuff like that.
00:41:51.440
But then slowly, you know, members of the group started falling out with each other.
00:41:58.280
And yeah, and that's really common with female friendships.
00:42:03.160
know the men when i asked why their friendships ended and i'm gonna do a list later the men um
00:42:11.500
some of them hired their friend some of them maybe lent their friend money um some of them said their
00:42:17.380
friend got into drugs alcohol um or you know maybe one of them just started working a lot and just
00:42:24.240
wanted to be around people that were working a lot the lady's reasons for friendships ending um
00:42:31.280
was like stolen money slept with my boyfriend like and Doug MPA even says
00:42:38.740
that women can't stand each other 70 to 80 percent of workplace bullying is women bullying
00:42:45.840
other women and 50 percent of women want to work for a male boss instead of a female boss
00:42:51.800
so this is you know men it just seems to be practical where women it tends to be
00:43:00.600
you know the pause you know the the claws come out okay let me refresh on the website
00:43:08.140
now as most of you know most of these ladies will find even if they burn every bridge around them
00:43:18.500
whatever they'll always find a simp and I have been on the front lines of the simp epidemic for
00:43:25.780
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okay so next i want to check the chat brian says people are very mobile these days and
00:45:13.340
many friends moved to another state and I have eventually lost touch with them
00:45:17.660
um Dane says whether he's telling the truth or not is irrelevant people can do sucky stuff
00:45:24.340
so what man up and build yourself into something um if this whining and bitching is an example okay
00:45:31.940
whatever uh okay so now I'm gonna talk about why friendships end so I asked people on Twitter to
00:45:39.060
give me examples of why friendships and now I really love Twitter as a way to get personal
00:45:44.460
stories because I find that people really just open up on that app I don't know what it is I
00:45:49.180
think it's maybe more anonymous than other sites but people will tell you you know their deepest
00:45:57.620
darkest secrets or really open up about their life now why friendships ended I'm gonna read
00:46:05.020
common answers that I got he or she stole from me um it's what I do I have bipolar disorder and
00:46:15.660
every so often I lose control turn evil and drive the people closest to me away for various reasons
00:46:21.620
unique to them and how I made them feel when they see the worst and ugliest parts of me most people
00:46:27.000
don't ever get to see or have to see the worst part of who they are it's traumatizing depending
00:46:32.000
on who you are and hard to deal with regardless um one answer was slept with a girlfriend ex-boyfriend
00:46:40.720
husband politics was one that was pretty common that actually that happened to me 20 years of
00:46:48.120
friendship and i told this woman i didn't tell this woman this show made me lose a lot of friends
00:46:58.540
it's kind of sad you know you know the ladies support you until you're saying what's on your
00:47:06.200
mind okay um one of the parties moved was really common drugs or alcohol paid them for years and
00:47:13.920
realized um oh many people paid for their friends for years and realized they weren't putting in as
00:47:20.940
much effort. One became more successful than the other. So what's interesting now is the average
00:47:29.060
number of friends seems to be between one and four close friends. Men report having less friendships
00:47:36.860
with 15% of men reporting having no close friendships at all. Now, I think there's a
00:47:43.380
couple reasons for this, just anecdotally speaking. One is the majority of close friendships come from
00:47:50.060
childhood. And if you don't develop them in childhood, I think you're at a disadvantage
00:47:55.500
for the rest of your life. And now it's much more common for people to move. And, you know,
00:48:02.780
as someone, I grew up in the same place my entire life. You know, we moved into this house when I
00:48:08.940
was in third grade. I didn't go far. And when I moved to London for three years, and then I moved
00:48:16.040
to Milwaukee for two years, it was very difficult for me to maintain friendships moving to a
00:48:23.060
different country in a different city. One was because there's less incentive to stay in touch
00:48:30.720
when you know you won't see them for six months or a year. And I think that's definitely one
00:48:36.580
reason is people moving around more than they are. The other thing is, I think that people get,
00:48:44.340
their social battery met through media and I can even say this personally like if I do a show
00:48:53.400
and I'm about to interact with you guys for like two hours let's say let's say we do this show and
00:48:59.460
you guys call in we have some great chats I'm not complaining I'm just describing am I gonna go want
00:49:06.400
to have a long conversation after this no I'll just put on my Netflix go to bed and do the same
00:49:14.220
thing tomorrow and this I think was exacerbated during COVID during COVID we saw an increase in
00:49:23.500
online dating that's where people are meeting their partners nowadays or their boyfriend girlfriend
00:49:28.200
and according to recent data most communication is now online and if I'm being truly honest with
00:49:38.100
myself a lot of my friends in the past five years I have met through the internet and personally I
00:49:47.140
don't think it's necessarily a bad thing it just is the way the world is going according to recent
00:49:53.420
data a significant portion of communication is now considered virtual we with estimates suggesting
00:50:00.540
that around 65 of communication happens digitally rather than in person across generations
00:50:06.940
particularly among younger demographics like millennials and gen z this number is even higher
00:50:12.860
in countries like the us and the uk reaching around 73 to 74 percent in digital communication
00:50:20.220
when surveyed on my twitter um you know take that or leave it 25 percent of people believe
00:50:27.980
that online friendships are real friendships okay
00:50:33.100
gen z and millennials now are more likely to communicate with each other digitally than in
00:50:42.220
person the phone is the new wallet 61 of global consumers from 18 to 34 would choose to leave
00:50:49.500
their wallet at home instead of their phone the digital is the new in real life globally a majority
00:50:55.180
of gen z and millennials 65 communicate with each other more often digitally than in person
00:51:01.720
the phone is truly an extension of the self 70 of gen z and millennials across the globe sleep with
00:51:09.160
their phones within arm's reach and 65 bring their phones into the bathrooms with them the future is
00:51:15.380
100% digital. A majority of Gen Z and millennials around the world, 70% can imagine a future where
00:51:21.980
100% of purchases are done digitally and online. LivePerson commissioned the survey of more than
00:51:29.680
4,000 18 to 34-year-olds across the UK, US, Germany, Australia, Japan, and France, plus an
00:51:36.920
additional 1,000 adults 35 years or older in the US as a benchmark. The goal was to better understand
00:51:43.800
the digital habits and preferences of young consumers around the world according to research
00:51:49.080
gen z and millennials communicate with each other's more digitally than in person 65 this percentage
00:51:56.040
is even higher in english speaking countries with the us at 73 and the uk at 74 relying more heavily
00:52:04.040
on digital channels for communication digging deeper this preference for digital communications
00:52:09.400
is specifically targeted at messaging. When asked if they could only keep either the phone app or
00:52:15.060
messaging on their smartphone, the majority of respondents said they would choose the messaging
00:52:19.440
app. The percentage is also higher in the U.S. with 73% and the U.K. 73%. For those two generations,
00:52:27.500
the smartphone has truly become an extension of the hands. According to surveys, 70% of respondents
00:52:32.740
sleep with their phones within arm's reach and 64% bring their phones to the bathroom. 52% check
00:52:39.080
their phone if they wake up briefly in the middle of the night with the younger consumers being
00:52:43.160
attached to their phones. It isn't surprising that many of them place less importance on
00:52:47.840
traditional societal norms than older generations. 41% consider it acceptable to text a family at
00:52:54.420
dinner and 27% thinks it's acceptable to text in the middle of a in-person conversation.
00:53:01.460
With a constant digital connection at their fingertips, younger consumers expect a higher
00:53:06.780
threshold of digital convenience when seeking from a brand when asked to rank how they typically get
00:53:13.260
a question answered from a brand they going to an app or website was the number one choice on
00:53:18.140
average across the globe okay so now we have a digital revolution now my personal experience with
00:53:26.940
media is it's really been a long around for most of my life. And I don't really remember life
00:53:37.300
without it. I remember getting my first smartphone when I was 12 years old. And I remember
00:53:44.640
specifically that was the first time I ever felt left out of anything. So when I was 12,
00:53:50.500
I had no idea if people hung out and I wasn't invited I didn't know and I remember being like
00:53:58.140
you know 11 12 years old and you get your first smartphone and that's the first time you compare
00:54:04.140
your life to others and I specifically remember there being get-togethers that I didn't know
00:54:09.720
you know people were having and from a female point of view that's sort of how like clicks
00:54:15.620
happen and there you know there's the in click the out click and before then i had like two friends
00:54:22.420
and i was happy with that but i remember that entire friend group when i was like 12 fell apart
00:54:28.340
after we all got smartphones i don't know what happened i just know it fell apart this was like
00:54:33.780
15 years ago and so that was my first experience with like social media was facebook but most of
00:54:42.180
my adult life um everything's been pretty digital i can't even imagine the people like five years
00:54:51.540
younger than me because i at least have a little bit of memory but i i don't remember much so
00:54:58.180
i asked people about the benefits of parasocial relationships rather than in person so one
00:55:04.260
is you get to find people that have the same interests now this is something that's been
00:55:09.300
great for me i'm such a uni you know who listens to red pill content who finds this stuff you know
00:55:19.780
i think i found like the two women in the world that watch this stuff and it's been great because
00:55:27.860
you do get to find people with the same interests the other pro benefits of parasocial relationships
00:55:34.900
actually i'm going to go back to number one the other thing that people were saying if they play
00:55:38.660
a unique video game if they like you know it allows men to also have male only spaces because
00:55:45.540
you can't really ban the ladies from the bars you can't really ban the ladies from school
00:55:51.140
and so women we have female only spaces we go to the nail salon it's mostly women
00:55:58.180
you go to school it's mostly women if you get a gender studies degree mostly women
00:56:03.060
and i do think there you know there are negatives to parasocial relationships but i'm going to play
00:56:09.800
devil's advocate for the day all right i'm going to give the positives when someone's annoying you
00:56:16.880
you can simply log off you guys in the chat i mean i'm sure some of you have been watching this stream
00:56:23.660
and you're like i'm sick of listening to this woman talk click i'm gone
00:56:31.700
i'm gone you can't do that in real life you ever been in front of somebody this happened to me the
00:56:39.440
other day you know i love you guys you know i don't want to i don't want to ever discourage
00:56:45.100
you guys if you see me in person you can totally say hi to me take a picture
00:56:49.880
but i don't want to be there all night i don't i really i really don't i talk about these topics
00:56:59.920
for hours a day like two three hour shows I do not want to leave here and talk about it more
00:57:08.360
I've given my opinion you know I you know I leave sometimes I don't want to give any opinion I want
00:57:13.860
to know what's going on in your life and I meet sometimes I meet you guys in the wild and you're
00:57:21.700
like I want to hear how you got to your ideas and I'm just like go to my book or go sorry I don't
00:57:28.000
have a book go to my channel there's hours there's literally hours of me talking for three years
00:57:35.380
straight and but it's really rude for me to say go away please