00:23:32.360I think all men should research the laws in their state because what they'll try to tell you is
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00:23:36.480that a prenup can prevent this. And most of the time, the terms of the prenup are changed. So
00:23:43.320what you sign on your wedding day oftentimes can change after. I have to remember exactly
00:23:49.360how they say that. But now they say it's immoral, right? They say that it's your duty to society
00:23:58.540to have children. And I ask, why is it men's duty to society to have children? Wouldn't that be
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00:24:04.340women's duty? Because essentially you're saying have children, even though the state is putting
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00:24:11.020a gun in the woman's hand. And, you know, a lot of times what they'll say is, well, what about
00:24:16.040your legacy? What about your children and your grandchildren? The challenge is when women are
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00:24:20.480awarded custody, they're in the kid's ear for 10 plus years. We had Terrence Pop on the show.
00:24:26.160he was a three-time active um he was deployed to Iraq three times and he spoke of the challenges
00:24:35.900of you know when the wife's in the kid's ear you don't even know if your kids will like you
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00:24:41.860you don't even know if you're in you know you can give them your side of the story at 18 but can
00:24:47.620can you really go up against what the woman has been saying now the other challenge is
00:24:52.720now women our brains are more fried because of social media and the quality of women today is
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00:24:59.920less than of 15 years ago so what does that leave us if the divorce rate of boomers is around 60
00:25:05.360percent gen x is around 50 percent wouldn't it and they're younger so we don't know what it'll
00:25:11.920be in the future wouldn't it make sense to guess that if the women are more overweight the women
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00:25:18.160you know the women have more fried brains because of social media wouldn't it make sense to predict
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00:25:26.420it will probably get worse and the argument that I always hear is that you are immoral it is your
00:25:32.940duty to do this and I just got to thinking that for men I mean men build civilization
00:25:41.040they built the buildings they paved the roads they I mean there are men that die every year
00:25:48.560doing dangerous jobs for this country why on top of that do they owe the country children
00:25:55.660wouldn't you put that on women not men why is it the men are immoral doesn't make sense
00:26:03.500And the point I'm making is now there are articles coming out showing that even if you have children, there is no guarantee that you'll have grandchildren.
00:26:15.720A lot of times the argument is that, you know, you want to have grandkids, but you have no idea if your kids will have grandkids.
00:26:23.560And ultimately, ultimately, I think a lot of times conservatives promise you things for having children that ultimately are not in your control.
00:26:37.780You can't control what the kids do after 18.
00:26:41.140So there's an article by the New York Times saying the unspoken grief of never becoming a grandparent.
00:26:48.820A growing number of Americans are choosing not to have children.
00:26:51.780their parents are grappling with what that means for them. Lydia Burke, 56, has held on to her
00:26:58.040favorite copy of The Velveteen Rabbit since her three children, now in their 20s and 30s, were
00:27:03.160young. She loved being a stay-at-home mother and filled her family's home with books. All of her
00:27:08.460children could read before they started school, Mrs. Burke recalled with pride. She hoped to one
00:27:15.140day be a cool grandmother who would share her favorite stories with a new generation, but none
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00:27:20.460of her children want to have kids and though that decision is right for them
00:27:24.320miss Brink Burke said it still breaks her heart I don't have young children
00:27:29.440anymore and now I'm going to have I'm not going to have grandchildren she said
00:27:34.360so that part of my life is just over like ms Burke a growing number of gen
00:27:39.040xers and baby boomers are facing the same painful fact that they are never
00:27:43.000going to become grandparents a little more than half of 50 and older had at
00:27:48.680least one grandchild a little more than half of adults 50 and older had at least one grandchild
00:27:55.020in 2021 down from nearly 60 percent in 2014 amid the falling birth rates U.S. adults say they're
00:28:02.540unlikely to ever have children for a variety of reasons the chief among them they don't want to
00:28:08.120this is the best and worst thing about having kids says Ms. Burke's husband John Burke 55
00:28:14.900you watch them make their own decisions different from your own still would-be grandparents like
00:28:20.380the Burks may experience a deep sense of longing and loss when the children opt out of parenthood
00:28:25.300even if they understood and on an intellectual level that the children do not owe them a family
00:28:31.180legacy said Claire Bidwell-Smith a therapist based in LA and the author of Conscious Grieving
00:28:37.000it doesn't help that our society tends to paint grandchildren as a reward for aging you always
00:28:43.480hear people talk about how great it is to be a grandparent and how that it's better being a
00:28:47.980parent ms bidwell smith said i think that when people don't get to experience that they realize
00:28:53.620there's a grief that comes with it it's a kind of grief she said that our culture tends not to
00:28:58.400recognize and that people don't know how to talk about christine cut 69 had her only child at 42
00:29:06.420after years of thinking she did not want to be a parent the experience transformed her she said
00:29:12.020she had loved being a mother, but her daughter is adamant that she does not want kids, pointing to
00:29:17.420her pessimism about the state of the world and climate change. Ms. Cut, who is divorced and
00:29:22.800lives in the suburbs of Chicago, facilitates between feeling supportive of her daughter's
00:29:28.340choice and quietly hoping she changes her mind. She dreams of being surrounded by grandchildren
00:29:33.080as she ages, passing them on to her family recipes and love of rock and roll. Even when her daughter
00:29:38.460was little she envisioned a future I was like oh my gosh it's so fun to teach her all this stuff
00:29:43.720and someday she'll have children and I'll be able to teach them parents who are hoping for
00:29:48.520grandchildren are likely at an age when they're experiencing a shrinkage of time with fewer years
00:29:53.200ahead than behind them said Maggie Maggie Mulqueen a psychologist based in Wesley Massachusetts that
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00:30:00.100can mean wrestling with an existential questions about their lives and legacies she said Dr. Mulqueen
00:30:06.360who has counseled many baby boomers through their longing for grandchildren has found that their
00:30:10.260decision to remain child-free can strain the parent-child relationship, particularly when a
00:30:15.880parent who dreamed of grandchildren fails to separate any personal disappointment, they feel
00:30:20.860a sense of disappointment in their children. And so my whole point in this is not have kids or
00:30:27.920don't have kids because I more want to predict where the world is going. I'm trying to say,
00:30:37.680hey, unfortunately, birth rate's going down. Unfortunately, marriage is disappearing.
00:30:44.220Unfortunately, all of these things are happening and even if you have kids, it's really not within
00:30:51.740your control if they have kids. Yes, you can raise your kids a certain way, but sometimes when you
00:30:56.980push something on a child, then they want to do the complete opposite. I saw Matt Walsh
00:31:06.500tweeting during this when we lost connection and he is out of touch as usual. It's just,
00:31:16.580you know, Matt, well, I like Matt Walsh. I just watched his video the other day and I thought it
00:31:21.800was funny the am i racist hilarious documentary but the issue with the trad cons is their religion
00:31:31.240makes them like deny reality i i don't understand it and when i say marriage is dead the laws are
00:31:38.360too bad the men aren't going to sign up it's just not going to happen the women want to party rather
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00:31:43.520than be mothers they they want they want to like put a moral statement on it i'm like guys i mean
00:31:49.500i've been in the trenches you need to go to the trenches and then you can see what's good you
00:31:54.600really you just need to download tiktok if you really want to see what's going on download tiktok
00:31:59.860okay have children raise them to have children be an example out of your control you can't you
00:32:07.160think you can control kids okay you can control them sure up to like 13 maybe 12 but you don't
00:32:14.300know who they're going to be friends with at school I mean there's a reason pastor we have
00:32:19.880the phrase pastor's daughter because the pastor's daughter would always figure out a way to sneak
00:32:25.860out of the house and do some wild stuff I mean that's saying you can control the universe you
00:32:31.460can't control that um they're saying the western world you know what guys I have a unique experience
00:32:39.320because when i moved to england i dealt with people from all over the world i dealt with people
00:32:47.400from muslim countries i dealt with people from african countries i met women there was a girl
00:32:53.720on my team from japan there was another girl on my team from germany and yes maybe it's slower
00:33:02.440in some parts of the world but i i and maybe they can hold off the social media revolution
00:33:12.440for a couple of years but it's coming you can't un-invent technology once it's out there
00:33:17.960even if the country said tomorrow we are banning technology people will find a way to get it no way
00:33:26.440okay MGTOW is based in comfortable but ultimately beta you guys act like you can out alpha the
00:33:35.360state I mean okay let me get this straight so you get married to a woman and she says
00:33:42.040I want to leave and he says you're not leaving I mean what are you going to do
00:33:45.780okay uh don't leave please no I want a divorce I'm we're getting divorced I'm going to go to
00:33:54.080my lawyer. You get a stopper? Have you ever seen a woman that wants to leave? I mean,
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00:34:00.280are there better women that are lower risk? Sure, totally. But ultimately, you just can't
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00:34:09.080control the universe. And that's okay. It just is what it is. So Matt Walsh
00:34:13.820says, there are a lot of reasons why people aren't having kids these days.
00:34:18.840The economy isn't one of them. That's a cap out. An excuse offered by selfish people who are too
00:34:25.660afraid to admit that they're selfish. So let me just Google really quick. Matt Walsh, net worth.
00:34:35.360It says brothers worth two billion. I think that's another one, but
00:34:45.060how much is matt walsh a net worth conservative commentator
00:34:50.660around according to google around 5 million but let's cut it in half and say they overestimate
00:34:58.8002.5 um people with fewer resources than you have been reproducing since the beginning of human
00:35:07.500civilization that's true literally billions of people have donate done the thing that we are
00:35:14.680now being told can't be done unless you have $100,000 in savings. If people had this attitude
00:35:20.180in the past, the human species wouldn't exist anymore. It's just all nonsense. We all know
00:35:26.780it's nonsense. I can't afford it. Billions of people have afforded it with less. Billions.
00:35:32.460How is it that you can't do something that has been done under more difficult circumstances
00:35:39.100billions of times. Stop making excuses. At least be honest. This is the BS I'm talking about.
00:35:46.400Why do you need generational wealth to start a family?
00:35:51.400I mean, what makes you so special? I started a family with no generational wealth. Again,
00:35:57.880billions of people have, but you're special. You're different. Okay. Now I'm just thinking
00:36:02.940the average men in this country that work labor jobs this is what matt walsh i mean i love being
00:36:10.560a commentator it's so fun we have to understand where we are in terms of easy jobs hard jobs
00:36:17.360okay oh sorry hard jobs easy jobs we did these scale right and commentator has to be the best
00:36:25.560job ever the it's competitive right it's very competitive many people want to do it but in
00:36:31.340terms of how tired you are at the end of the day. Can I understand if a guy that's a coal miner,
00:36:41.640factory worker, truck driver, and that has really grueling hours says, you know what?
00:36:49.660I don't want to go down in lifestyle. And this is too much work to have more children.
00:36:58.300is he ultimately selfish because he's doing a hard job that you're not doing
00:37:05.060right he's doing i would say a selfless job i mean it's not like the average men that are
00:37:11.240police officers firemen it's not like they get recognition um you know i mean people
00:37:17.120in a way worship you when when they're on the internet so you know matt walsh is coming to
00:37:22.660you average men you you average men are selfish and you know i just think i think that's not
00:37:32.820accurate i think it's wrong because if we're gonna go at the genders here the reason most men
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00:37:42.660would get married young to be honest most of them if they found a nice girl they would settle down
00:37:47.940that's hot enough for their liking but the difference is women you know again we're treated
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00:37:56.500like celebrities in our 20s we have access to too much celebrityism and just like you know
00:38:04.000matt walsh waited to have children women are they're doing the same thing that's why
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00:38:09.980and then he kept he doubled down okay I have six kids I was broke when I got married
00:38:20.100I started a family when I was 26 I will never understand this bizarre mentality so was his
00:38:26.200wife older because I found that his wife was 29 fact check it anyways I will never understand
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00:38:34.700this bizarre mentality that says a person is somehow less credible if they've successfully
00:38:40.340done the thing that they've that they're advocating for yeah let's be real Matt again out of touch as
00:38:47.680usual um how many people can reasonably replicate your unique path to a very successful career
00:38:56.840I'm a father of nine kids ready to get married and start their own families and the other question I
00:39:03.500have i'm really curious because he had his wife had two sets of twins in her 30s so it's like did
00:39:08.920they use ivf because it's not really common for people to have two sets like to me that indicates
00:39:14.800that they paid thousands of dollars to have those children i don't know i don't know i seriously i
00:39:20.660don't know please don't sue me um but i mean i just my gut they could come out and say no and
00:39:32.440i just wouldn't but like to me okay if i'm gonna put two plus two equals four your wife was around
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00:39:37.72029 when you guys got married and you guys had two sets of twins in her 30s allegedly right maybe i'm
00:39:46.040a year or two off but according to what i found online two sets of twins in her 30s i don't know
00:39:54.520that screams even if it was late 20s that would scream ivf to me i don't know um
00:40:02.440Yeah. So again, I don't really think you should call especially men selfish that are keeping society together. And I don't think it's your place as a commentator to say that men aren't doing enough when they are literally doing the things that I'm not doing and he's not doing.
00:40:25.740So I've, you know, so that's my two cents today.
00:40:31.540I think that's all the stories I have.
00:40:41.660Three, oh, psychology today, and I'll do this one tomorrow.