Pearl - The Unthinkable Happened： AMY SCHUMER COOKED STEVEN CROWDER

00:00:00.000 did you hear what she said she said i don't want to use sex as a bargaining chip i i kind of wish

00:00:08.480 i started watching half of this and i kind of wish i did it live because oh my gosh this is so bad

00:00:15.200 okay so it looks like it's like a fox news segment

00:00:20.240 it helps form a bond stronger than something really strong i speak not a polydent but of

00:00:30.880 abstinence at least according to a young man named steven crowder who's he who argues in his

00:00:35.840 latest call that abstinence is kind of awesome crowder muses on why abstinence remains a punch

00:00:41.440 line despite offering plenty of benefits to being friends without benefits forget that abstinence

00:00:46.720 leads to approximately zero stds or studies that show at least in successful marriages it's

00:00:51.920 the unbeatable bond of trust that's the real prize now i'd like to say yes abstinence in practice

00:01:00.720 would lead to zero stds but are women being loyal to the abstinent men no unfortunately right so

00:01:10.960 half of the people i do interviews of people with incurable stds and half of them got it from their

00:01:16.080 wife half 50 of the men that i interviewed that got an incurable std the herp derp got it from their

00:01:24.720 wife so it doesn't really no more worrying about your significant other cheating on you because partners

00:01:29.600 can be supremely confident in their respective self-control unlike the inventors of the new south

00:01:34.720 american butt dance

00:01:50.400 that'll put me off sex forever steve uh here's my question it's admirable when do you stop when do

00:01:56.080 you stop with the abstinence how will you know it's time well once you have a ring on your finger

00:01:59.920 obviously the only way to know for sure is once you're married and of course it's this people know

00:02:03.360 i'm a christian this column is not at all pushing faith in anybody he's just talking about the

00:02:06.480 actual benefits if you really want to argue for abstinence you can stop the argument you have to

00:02:10.560 understand the only thing that marriage does is put a promise with the state right you could argue

00:02:18.720 there's a promise with god there women don't care about god you know what i mean so really what's

00:02:25.920 happening is right now you have men basically begging to give up their leverage their only

00:02:32.960 leverage is being sexually inexclusive with women that's it that's all you got you got that and

00:02:38.560 walking away by signing into the marriage contract you're essentially giving up your right to do that

00:02:46.080 um and the thing the interesting thing is men will beg to be taken advantage of men can't help but

00:02:52.480 accept they really can't they it's like i don't know i think it must be in their dna to get caught

00:03:00.640 um not saying crowder kind of i mean i think if you're you're paying your ex-wife 40k a month it's

00:03:06.400 kind of cucked because i mean she's probably banging someone else abstinent don't get sick and die

00:03:12.720 yeah but uh you know i can say from personal experience that it does build a bond of trust

00:03:16.880 constantly here women how often you hear well don't you trust me it's like no you slept with me on the

00:03:19.840 first date so of course i don't trust you so again remember betas tend to because remember women

00:03:27.920 make rules break rules for alphas they make rules for betas so what betas have a tendency to do or men

00:03:34.880 because beta it's not about money it's it's about mindset right and what betas tend to do is they

00:03:41.200 punish women for breaking rules for them okay because they don't realize that women don't always sleep

00:03:49.280 with men on the first date i mean some women it's just a normal occurrence right that's how they

00:03:54.160 are but what happens is um it's like they're selecting for the women that view them as a paycheck

00:04:03.520 essentially because um they they like put themselves in that box by punishing the women for you know what

00:04:12.720 what i would argue is good behavior on his program because remember you can still get married if you

00:04:19.040 if you have sex before the only difference is you guys made a promise but i mean what's more important

00:04:26.080 the actions or the words so if if a kid if two teenagers get together in high school and they just

00:04:32.560 stay together i mean what's the difference i i don't really see a difference like i would join a club

00:04:39.600 that would let me into that club right you know it's you know she's going to sleep with me then

00:04:43.600 she'll see if i'm canadian they won't let me in yeah except for canadian club ginger ale

00:04:46.880 amy do you have any thoughts on this yes but also you know if i sleep with a guy on the first date

00:04:51.280 usually if if a guy holds my hand he's gonna wind up so here's the thing i don't think that i don't

00:05:00.160 i don't think that women should use sex as a bargaining chip and a lot of them do

00:05:04.880 if i want to sleep with someone i do it and i i am a monogamous okay

00:05:09.840 did you hear what she said she said i don't want to use sex as a bargaining

00:05:16.720 as most of you know i have been fighting on the front lines of the simp epidemic for years but i

00:05:21.840 need to tell you about a quiet weapon being ratcheted up against men that is rarely talked

00:05:26.320 about it's not just the relentless anti-masculinity propaganda and only fans hoes causing the societal

00:05:32.240 issues that we discuss on this show did you know that the average city's tap water contains trace

00:05:37.440 pharmaceuticals and endocrine disruptors this often includes estrogen from birth control the

00:05:42.800 average adult consumes a credit card worth of plastic every single week that's five grams of

00:05:47.760 plastic a week on average so it's no wonder that the average male's testosterone is half of what

00:05:53.120 the average was 50 years ago testosterone levels decline one percent a year and without a course

00:05:58.720 correction we are headed towards extinction no matter how based you are you need to be naturally

00:06:03.360 boosting your testosterone my friends at chalk choq.com are on a mission to save mankind from

00:06:10.560 extinction by boosting your vitality chalk's male vitality stack contains premium and potent herbs

00:06:16.560 clinically studied to naturally boost your testosterone levels sperm count and overall vitality

00:06:21.520 just one of the many ingredients in the male vitality stack was studied in double blind human

00:06:26.560 clinical trials to boost total testosterone 20 in 90 days when you boost your testosterone you'll have

00:06:32.080 more mental clarity you're more capable of making decisions and taking risks having high testosterone

00:06:37.120 will also affect your pheromones so women will find you more attractive subconsciously get the chalk

00:06:42.400 male vitality stack right now on chalk.com that's choq.com use my name pearl as your coupon code and

00:06:49.200 you'll get 25 off site wide on chalk.com that's choq.com my name pearl is the discount code

00:06:59.840 again isn't that what you want as a guy a woman that doesn't use sex as a bargaining chip

00:07:07.120 yeah but they'll they'll never see it but can i say that on air so she says i'm a monogamous

00:07:13.120 sled okay that's not what we're worried about but what i'm saying is what i'm yeah i have a higher

00:07:17.680 risk of disease i also have a much higher risk of fun no no i'm not saying that what i'm saying is

00:07:21.360 through my point okay so this is kind of the back and forth it's the people playing the game

00:07:26.640 and it's the people that are okay with risk essentially because you can't get anything you

00:07:32.560 want in life without risk so these are the people in the game and when you're in the game you take l's you

00:07:39.120 take w's it just is what it is and then there's the people not playing the game but somehow signaling

00:07:45.840 that they're playing um yeah so i don't know if that point made sense but okay no you don't think

00:07:54.240 it should be used as a bargaining tool yeah i mean as far as you know the kind of point of the column

00:07:58.320 is that abstinence is the one taboo issue regarding sex i mean it's like i'll be a dirty stand-up comic

00:08:02.560 you're cracking new ground there copernicus but once you talk about abstinence everyone all of a sudden

00:08:06.720 they put you like right now we have to talk about it because who is this kid who's talking about

00:08:09.440 abstinence who you know well it's who's this kid who's you know 23 you don't know who you're going

00:08:13.600 to be sexually yet so to talk about it with such authority and arrogance i don't know if i'm going

00:08:17.120 to be what you don't know who you're going to be sexual yet you're going to be into really weird

00:08:20.400 things in about a decade oh i have no doubt i have no doubt trust me and the thing is there should be no

00:08:26.400 there should be no confidence there there and you know you slip by the the dirty comedian thing but

00:08:32.320 honestly you call yourself a comedian but you don't do it that much like i go fishing a couple times a year

00:08:36.480 but i don't introduce myself on tv as a fisherman wow well this is not really personal for a concept

00:08:41.200 about abstinence i'm saying the whole point is someone can get up on stage we even talk about

00:08:44.720 in a column and talk about anything dirty that they want but the second you mentioned abstinence

00:08:48.560 people they pucker with discomfort like oh no we can't talk about this and you're vilified as

00:08:52.080 judgmental statistically it's the healthiest thing to do it is conducive towards a better marriage by a 25

00:08:57.520 how did it turn out and this is the thing their world view is so strong that it's like we could it

00:09:04.800 could be right in front of us they could see catholics get divorced they could see christians

00:09:09.680 get divorced they could see people that were abstinent people that were together for 20 years

00:09:14.000 it'll be in front of them but they can't see it because they want to be right so bad abstinence does

00:09:21.040 not work in a society with social media it doesn't it does not spread both it only takes that one person

00:09:31.760 though and there is no there's no contract that the person's not going to cheat on you because

00:09:35.920 they're abstinent they could she could call in love with somebody well actually there is a contract

00:09:40.320 it's a contract that more than that more than 60 percent of people bring no actually that's not

00:09:44.400 true actually if you want the new u.s census bureau statistics uh more than 70 percent of first-time

00:09:48.880 marriages last okay but then the guy how did that work out for you crowder eyes eating his words she's

00:09:55.920 right amy they don't realize it because they're trying to like shame her or whatever here but

00:10:02.800 she's cooking she's cooking she said i don't want to use sex as a bargaining chip and two she said

00:10:12.320 just because you sign a contract doesn't mean they'll stay with you and that's completely correct

00:10:19.280 she cooked i i never thought i would be in in a world and unfortunately at the time i'm sure

00:10:26.320 because of the virtue signaling he came out as the winner on top but you know time comes back

00:10:32.960 and now we're recirculating cooked sleeps with a young boy well you guys stayed married but okay do you

00:10:41.120 know what the worst part of this is amy schumer is married for seven years and crowder is divorced i mean

00:10:47.920 i don't want to use her as like a winner because i mean we don't know what will happen in her future

00:10:53.120 but how crazy is it that amy schumer is married longer than you oh my god that's such an l there's

00:11:00.720 well i want you to bring out the statistics that guys are running around rampantly sleeping with young

00:11:04.400 boys i'm not a boy i know i have characteristics as such all i'm saying is yes you're right there of

00:11:11.520 course it is way safer to not have sex but yeah but if you have sex with one person maybe they've had

00:11:17.360 sex with one person it only takes that one i've probably had sex with i don't know a baker's two

00:11:21.760 dozen you know and and i'm fine you had sex with mike baker he is happily married

00:11:32.560 you're abstinent but not by choice no no you bought me some absence because we've been practicing

00:11:38.320 absence abstinence but you bought absents for us to share and then yeah i thought it would lighten the

00:11:43.280 moon maybe get you naked yeah didn't either uh lots of vomiting uh my oh well i actually i would

00:11:49.360 like to say that uh even though i'm not as absent spot by choice uh teardrop i thought it was a great

00:11:56.160 column and i thought he made some very good points and there is a point to be all right amy again she's

00:12:01.200 being more honest than most women are we got to stop punishing honesty we got to stop on it we really got

00:12:08.480 to stop i mean it's men are begging to be lied to sometimes she said she slept with 12 dudes

00:12:20.080 what is she like 32 in this clip i don't know

00:12:26.560 most men will take that i i know you guys are going to say in the comments i would never

00:12:31.040 you have no way of verifying there's no whole facts you're not going to know

00:12:35.360 hate about how the fact that and crowder's wife had zero zero when she screwed him over

00:12:40.880 really the only taboo left yeah is this yeah i mean there's really nothing less that'll get your

00:12:45.680 shock factor up yeah no it's true and also you know what your mom always said image and your mom

00:12:50.400 always said if you want respect don't put okay no we won't accept that how do you know

00:12:56.560 unless your team mig tau you're not accepting anybody okay but you are never going to i have

00:13:05.440 seen too many women get away with it i have you are not going to know yeah exactly so there is i

00:13:10.240 mean it's it's like it's it's something that's handed down and until you have kids you're gonna you might

00:13:15.840 find yourself saying that i i do put it in a in my book it's gone around the world and i do on one

00:13:21.040 level talk a bit about abstinence but more like you know a few dates i'm not saying you act like someone out

00:13:25.040 of jersey shore if you want a you know long-standing relationship i do put that top tip in my book

00:13:30.720 yeah that's the thing like lack of abstinence is directly linked to really good abs that's the

00:13:35.440 problem that is a problem yeah but i have to say my last three relationships which each lasted between

00:13:42.240 two to five years we slept with each other almost immediately and it's because i knew that i wanted to

00:13:48.000 be with them you know except the five year mark yeah but so what at least yeah and again i don't

00:13:54.560 know how long crowder was married how long let me look yeah a lot of these people they they speak with

00:14:02.480 such um as if they know they'll stay married um oh i guess he made it a little longer 2021

00:14:16.560 all right he made it nine years nine years

00:14:23.280 it's a red flag that she's so open about her look i mean you want her to lie she's being more honest

00:14:29.680 than the rest of the panel figured it out and i didn't get married and spend my life with somebody

00:14:33.600 that i hate but statistically that's wrong i mean if you want to disregard stats yeah and the reason we

00:14:40.560 disregard stats a lot is because commentators want to be right so bad that they manipulate them

00:14:47.760 to fit their narrative um yeah he ate his words what's wrong statistically 87 of people who wait

00:14:54.000 until they're married are happier and 52 aren't the same thing that you can look at the the social

00:14:58.400 organization of sexuality yeah and anybody rollo said this actually but he said anybody using happiness as a

00:15:05.840 metric in a study is selling you something they're selling you religion because i mean i could ask

00:15:11.920 melania trump are you happy and even though she has a happy marriage maybe that day she's pissed and

00:15:17.360 she says no you know it's just not a good metric these are not christian statistics on people's

00:15:22.880 happiness you you tell them are you happy smiling no you can say are you emotionally satisfied in your

00:15:29.040 marriage yes no by 25 spread both both spouses who are virgin yes are you sexually satisfied in your

00:15:34.480 marriage yes is it difficult why why would people have to be honest about emotions in the column

00:15:40.800 every single source listening these are these are things that have been used by the kinsley

00:15:43.840 institute i'm sorry abe is cooking abe is cooking him it doesn't seem like it at the time but she's

00:15:51.040 cooking she's totally cooking because that's true what i'm saying is who cares what they said a lot of

00:15:57.520 people say they have happy marriages even in therapy when they're miserable so the 25 point

00:16:02.240 spread doesn't matter because only the people who will be lying yeah look at it i someone says some

00:16:07.760 things are meant for behind closed doors part of femininity is discretion i totally agree with you

00:16:13.520 i totally agree amy schumer that's why it's almost more of a a slap in the face that schumer out

00:16:20.080 married crowder because i mean i guess we'll see she's got like three years left but it's even worse

00:16:26.960 because i mean she's abe schumer you know what i mean perhaps i just don't know any happy happily

00:16:33.600 married people speaking of speaking of i don't let's get back to my fight statistically 100 of

00:16:38.960 these women are not calling me back that is nobody's reading my call if you catch my draft

00:16:43.280 great yes exactly maybe you should have done the column on abstinence thank you exactly and the

00:16:48.880 time the headline would have been sad fish yes yeah all right i'm sorry that that got so heated i

00:16:53.920 just want that was good i just want to say that i read the blog and it was it did come across to me

00:16:59.280 like you know you ended it by saying no judgments but it definitely felt very judgmental of course and

00:17:04.560 the column was written about the reaction from people like you who the second you talk about abstinence

00:17:07.840 get upset so thank you well people like me who are almost 10 years older than you and know what

00:17:11.760 it's like to live life and not just have all these morals with no life experience right i have no life

00:17:15.840 experience that is true i'm sorry but somebody who works a little bit of the christian comedy circuit

00:17:20.720 the christian comedy circuit what's what's just happening the irony i want them to come

00:17:28.000 i want them to do a panel again i want them to do a panel again all right that's enough of that

00:17:34.720 i thought she cooked um i didn't like the judgmental comment because i do think people

00:17:40.640 people have a right to their opinions and i do understand what conservative guys are going

00:17:45.120 for it just doesn't work anymore sorry fellas it's not what i wish to be true

00:17:50.800 but even virgins if they got social media you're just cooked

Pearl - August 22, 2025

The Unthinkable Happened： AMY SCHUMER COOKED STEVEN CROWDER

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Summary

Transcript