Pearl - This Is What Checked Hypergamy Was Before No-Fault Divorce w⧸ @thisisshah

00:00:00.240 like i kept hearing from trad cons that women shouldn't work right but i kept thinking well

00:00:06.800 maybe if you have like my grandma had 13 children so that's a pretty strong case yeah work that's a

00:00:13.760 lot of but i'm like we're having one and a half in public school what are you doing with your time

00:00:18.800 yeah you're not even matching maybe like the first couple years but once the kid's in school

00:00:24.160 you could be a teacher and have the same schedule as the child yeah you know i think three months off

00:00:31.360 in the summer it's a decent salary i think a lot of that also doesn't exactly match with history

00:00:38.560 so you remember earlier i told you about how before the dowry what you had was was bride wealth

00:00:44.960 formerly called bride price okay most people know it as bride price this is where the man pays the 0.90

00:00:49.600 woman's family something not to her to her family um then they as scholars studied it more they they

00:00:56.720 changed the name from bride price to bride wealth because bride wealth describes it better but back

00:01:01.280 then the reason that the man paid the bride wealth was because the woman worked we're not just talking

00:01:07.120 about kids she was actually out there on the field so back then agriculture was less sophisticated 0.99

00:01:12.320 and that's why you see polygyny and bride wealth in places like sub-saharan africa

00:01:17.840 you saw that with ancient israelites uh even even old testament and stuff like that

00:01:23.680 um and you saw this in a in a lot of different civilizations and then what they noticed is that

00:01:28.240 as they changed from tools women can actually handle like the digging stick or the the hoe um 1.00

00:01:36.080 and they move to the plow the plow is this heavy instrument that takes a lot of strength and you got

00:01:40.880 to have these you know cattle in the front pulling it and you're trying to keep it in a straight line

00:01:44.720 so men ended up doing this but back then when women were using these other tools they would be 1.00

00:01:50.240 out on the fields working all day and when you married her her family lost that labor value so 0.93

00:01:55.920 you paid them a set price and then they used that money to marry maybe another son in their family and

00:02:01.600 then it became a circulating fund so bride wealth are all uniform prices it's not like this highest bidder

00:02:07.200 thing it actually is a set price so how many hours a day were the women were i'm just trying because i 1.00

00:02:12.320 always hear that like women are very exhausted yeah they're working in human resources and they're 0.71

00:02:17.520 just so tired and so i i've always wondered like what would be the comparison of what women did in

00:02:23.760 different time periods yeah today i just can't imagine it's easier or it's harder now yeah but hey i

00:02:30.720 could be wrong that i'm not exactly sure like in terms of what those specific women were doing i hear 0.99

00:02:36.720 it may be less depending i think they probably work just as much but i'd have to look at it yeah what i will

00:02:42.160 say is i just wonder what their day-to-day was like yeah yeah i mean you know they're out there

00:02:46.400 on the fields they're doing all this stuff but what happens is is the plow comes in and when the plow

00:02:51.120 comes in one person can plow a field that's way more than humans can do with the digging stick or with

00:02:59.440 the hoe so you end up with a lot more essentially wealth because you're able to till a lot more land 0.99

00:03:05.040 plant a lot more food so when the plow comes in women start to become housebound because they're not 1.00

00:03:11.360 needed to work on the field anymore so they and the men started doing it all because it was a

00:03:17.200 harder job to do and it was just creating a lot more wealth that you started seeing income

00:03:22.240 stratification so polygynous societies you know bride wealth paying societies tend to be very

00:03:27.840 uniform there isn't this very rich guy and this very poor guy they're all about the same okay yeah

00:03:34.320 and then there's more polygamy when there's less yeah come disparity is what you're saying yeah

00:03:39.200 polygyny polygyny meaning that a man marries multiple okay and the thing is is like you might

00:03:45.120 have a guy with more than one wife but he had to pay that same uniform price so it circulates around so

00:03:51.120 it it brings him back into into a kind of a match with everybody else's wealth by doing that when the

00:03:58.160 when the plow comes on you start to see income stratification okay now the women when a woman's 1.00

00:04:04.320 working on the field she's bringing in real income to the house i'm we're not talking about labor at 0.97

00:04:08.960 home we're not talking about making sourdough bread we're talking about actual agricultural

00:04:13.600 income so stuff that needs to be produced basically when the men start doing that and the women are 0.94

00:04:19.360 more homebound you end up with this huge income stratification there's rich there's middle class

00:04:25.360 there's poor and then what you start to see is it goes from bride wealth so now the man is not paying

00:04:32.640 her family anymore uh polygyny starts to go away divorce becomes rare and then it starts to 0.84

00:04:38.640 become monogamous because now private property is a lot more important paternity of the child's going

00:04:43.920 to be a lot more important too because now you're thinking about inheritance is a lot more how this

00:04:49.120 passes down uh the whole other side of the equation of marriage is is actually inheritance also and when

00:04:55.440 you talk about marriage inheritance and how wealth threads down through generations is really a part of

00:05:01.200 that discussion so as you start getting these these class differentiations families want to either

00:05:08.560 maintain class or they want to go up a class that would be hypergamy technically right so to attract a

00:05:14.320 high status mate or at least a mate of equal status to you and to be monogamous they would attach a dowry to 0.84

00:05:22.720 the daughter which is part of her inheritance at the time of marriage they'll call it a pre-mortem inheritance 0.60

00:05:27.360 okay so that happens and then so what you end up seeing when you look historically the people who

00:05:33.360 marry each other tend to be from the same class so they're making a financial contribution that's

00:05:38.960 about the same they're looking at what his income trajectory is going to be and they're looking at

00:05:42.960 what she's bringing in from technically what is her inheritance you know so it's it's interesting

00:05:47.920 because then when you look at trad cons today if we bring this all the way back to today it's like

00:05:51.760 the man needs to make all the money the woman's not responsible for bringing anything uh and it's 1.00

00:05:57.600 just your job to figure out as a young guy oh and we want you to marry young even though a dowry would

00:06:01.760 help people marry young because how is she supposed to get this house i mean we're all waiting until 0.99

00:06:05.680 we're 30 31 32 now anyways so um there are all these things that the dowry actually helped with

00:06:14.560 and back then there was no like welfare system or this kind of thing you know you might have had some

00:06:19.200 church charity or these kinds of things but typically what you can expect in those societies

00:06:24.240 and i'm not talking about ancient time it started to come in ancient times but i'm talking even a few

00:06:29.440 hundred years ago is women without a dowry could not be expected to marry because they just that's how 1.00

00:06:36.960 ingrained it was in the culture you know so so what would happen to them they would just be spinsters or 1.00

00:06:43.120 what yeah they would they would probably just be at that their house there some of them would end

00:06:48.160 up joining a convent there was still a fee to pay for that it was just a lot less than the dowry um

00:06:53.760 it's or what would happen is they would end up working outside of the home to earn a dowry to then 1.00

00:06:59.280 get married with um so you might find them being a you know a servant in the house of a higher status

00:07:05.680 family and then part of that contract would be that that family would then pay her dowry so then she 0.93

00:07:10.320 can then get married later so you start to see um you know in in bride wealth bride price bride wealth 0.72

00:07:18.240 societies people get married earlier and a lot younger over there as dowry comes and it pushes

00:07:23.120 it back a little bit still relatively early for the way we do things nowadays um so yeah you start to

00:07:29.360 see the sophistication in and complexity and how society exists so i've spent a lot of time looking at

00:07:36.880 this just because it's really intrigued me and now when i hear guys like matt walsh michael knowles

00:07:42.480 whoever it's going to be i think lila rose is another one they'll sit here and they'll make a 1.00

00:07:47.280 big deal about monogamy and about all this stuff but what they're trying to trade for is something that

00:07:52.080 is really untenable i mean she can just leave with no-fault divorce i think a lot of these women 1.00

00:07:58.080 that say they're submissive aren't actually submissive i mean we're all growing up in the same culture it

00:08:02.000 seems like yeah um and then you know the family law is waiting there on the other end to just

00:08:08.160 really make it tough it's it's really hard so a lot of guys at this point are basically

00:08:14.320 abstaining from it or they're saying all right the long-term deal sucks here what do i get out of this

00:08:18.640 i may as well just engage in short-term stuff or you know the woman gets disappointed because the

00:08:24.080 guy's playing her and then she's like oh i thought he wanted to get me he didn't want to get married 1.00

00:08:27.360 there's all this upset stuff going on because we live in this very weird gray zone where people

00:08:32.160 want to have one foot in and one foot out yeah because you know there's a difference between a

00:08:37.120 guy looking for like a hookup or a girlfriend and he being on like the marriage market yeah you know

00:08:42.400 so what incentive are they really giving that they're not like they're not um the dowry at least would

00:08:49.280 lower the risk yeah well it's interesting too you know it's funny because when you watch some of these uh

00:08:54.960 panel shows or whatever it's like women will say oh well you know i'm a queen and this and that or 1.00

00:09:00.240 i don't you know i should deserve a king or something like that it's funny when you look at actual kings

00:09:06.080 to be to sit in the queen's seat you have to come with some serious cash like you weren't just going

00:09:11.440 there for no reason and if he's gonna marry someone that brings nothing just because she's so beautiful 0.99

00:09:17.280 everybody would look at him like he's the stupidest person on the planet king henry the eighth is one 0.98

00:09:22.720 that's kind of a famous you know royal dowry story uh the queen that he was married he's the one that 0.99

00:09:29.520 ended up you know breaking away from the catholic church and uh his first wife that he was married

00:09:34.960 to for like 20 years she brought what was pretty much the annual income of all of england uh at the

00:09:42.960 time which is something that they needed you know they have all the same problems up there yes so if

00:09:48.480 you're a woman and you say you know you want to be the queen and you're bringing nothing you have

00:09:53.360 no contribution uh it really is you know the height of delusion they need to look in the mirror and say

00:09:59.520 and understand what class they're actually it's kind of crazy that we're in a time where like

00:10:05.680 basically a peasant woman can get a kid yeah off of a king unfettered hypergamy is what that is the dowry 1.00

00:10:12.720 used to be a check against that because let's say these two found each other okay and they're

00:10:18.640 going to somebody brings up marriage instantly it would be a rejection because when they say okay

00:10:24.400 let's talk about marriage the marriage discussion is a very different discussion from dating or

00:10:28.800 whatever and i want men to remember this i really do i want men to remember how it was negotiated in

00:10:33.360 the past so as we go into the future they can they can have something to say back to them that

00:10:39.360 they can't be accused of not being masculine so many masculine men in history did this but

00:10:44.080 they would say okay what's your what's your dowry you know what does your father do uh

00:10:49.360 you know what's your family background and if the answer is nothing i don't have a i don't have a dowry

00:10:53.920 to match this person up here uh they'd be like yeah this marriage isn't isn't gonna work you might

00:11:00.080 want to look at someone closely to your class so it's a check against that so you can't just hide that

00:11:05.760 um nowadays what you'll get is you'll get you know an actor or you'll get an nfl player and they'll

00:11:11.520 they'll marry somebody with with nothing um and then they get dragged through the family law courts

00:11:16.400 afterwards and they're wondering what happened so that's that's what we see nowadays and a lot of

00:11:21.520 this was encouraged from what i would say was very good economic times probably through the wealth

00:11:26.960 brought in from colonialism brought in through industrialization brought in through modernization

00:11:32.000 um you know especially post world war ii it was a different kind of economy um you also saw this

00:11:40.080 in uh cyprus and places like that so you know cyprus the dowry was typically a house for the middle 0.99

00:11:45.360 class as it started to get modernized and that was after england england was like the first place

00:11:50.400 you can say um you know they start sending their kids over to england and places like that to get

00:11:55.440 educated uh they start to get urbanized you start to get these mega cities you start to get cheap

00:12:00.320 apartments for rent they're living away from their families um you're there's different jobs you can

00:12:06.160 take now because of modernization people who might have been at a lesser class can go jump up a class

00:12:12.160 easier so they're more focused than that and i think what you hit you ended up with was a kind

00:12:17.280 of market bust because a lot of guys here are saying okay well i'm now worth more because i went to

00:12:22.400 college and i have this job where typically they would have married her this family's probably having

00:12:27.280 trouble getting her married and you end up with this complete it's like a perfect storm and feminism 1.00

00:12:32.400 all these things changes in law so it's a market bust because now the kings are like having kids

00:12:37.360 with basically like like peasant women in a way yeah vice versa it was it's harder to chart someone's 1.00

00:12:43.920 income trajectory than it was back then so that romantic love the love match takes over you start to see

00:12:51.600 that uh in literature you know you think about it like the printing press i think came in the mid 1400s

00:12:57.600 literacy rate was really low um then they start making polygot bibles and then they start making

00:13:02.880 these tales of chivalry and these knights who would do these amazing things for women that starts

00:13:07.120 to get very popular literacy rate goes up more people start to read modernization so there's a

00:13:13.440 cultural change and then you know people start looking for their love story a lot more

00:13:18.000 um but even as that goes still for a long time you know we were talking about germany earlier even

00:13:23.520 into the 1850s if you look at their records there people who are getting married are still bringing

00:13:29.920 you know some kind of dowry or equal contribution um then this this basically falls out of favor

00:13:36.320 i think we're hitting a point now where the economy and the culture and life you know they'll say oh

00:13:41.360 chivalry is dead whether you believe that or not women coach greg adams you know we'll talk about the

00:13:46.480 monetized dating marketplace uh millennials are having trouble buying houses you know what i mean

00:13:52.880 and what i'm seeing is a kind of similarity to the way economy used to be back then millennials might

00:13:58.480 have a better time starting families and getting houses if the parents are more involved in terms of

00:14:03.920 a wealth threading through the generations like they used to do for thousands of years you know so

00:14:09.520 we're in this very interesting time um and i i think we're we're kind of pushing on something new

00:14:15.520 in the culture where i would like to see men at least remember this so they don't have to feel

00:14:20.480 like they're not a man if they ask for what's owed to them if they're going to be the provider so

00:14:26.960 my real first i don't know axe to grind is what trad cons so to speak because they're the ones who

00:14:32.080 are selling this stay-at-home monogamy with the man as this provider the 100 provider so that's

00:14:39.920 that's where i've been at for a while now so what would happen if the you know the daughter says but

00:14:45.440 dad i love him or the the son says she's so hot yeah i got you know what would happen if they told

00:14:53.280 the parents no well in those time periods yeah i mean you what would if you really went against your

00:15:00.720 parents like that instead of receiving your endowment sorry was this arranged it was arranged right

00:15:06.720 yeah it's arranged i think when it comes to arranged marriage people have this sort of

00:15:10.960 understanding that it's like oh it all happens from when they're five and you'll never they'll never

00:15:15.840 have a say in it uh what you have is like matchmakers and stuff like that and you have you know if even

00:15:21.600 if you look at more recent history uh if you look at europe and stuff like that they would call it the

00:15:26.080 mean person so to speak so this mean person will probably understand in the community who's single

00:15:34.160 what dowries they're bringing uh you know what the men are going to be making and then in their

00:15:39.760 minds they're going to be like okay these might be good pairings they might suggest different pairings

00:15:44.240 and then however you guys do that negotiation then it would happen so then you then you can see in

00:15:49.760 marriage contracts back then you know how they do these kinds of things um if a daughter to answer

00:15:55.040 your question was like no i don't screw this i love this person you know romeo and juliette style or

00:16:00.800 whatever um you know what would probably happen i mean i you know and i know there's all stuff with

00:16:07.360 the church and how that would that would probably be something different but they would probably not

00:16:11.600 receive their dowry so to speak so it would say you you run off or you elope so to speak you're written

00:16:16.320 out of the your portion your marriage portion uh or if you're a son and you do the same thing whatever

00:16:22.240 your inheritance is going to be is going to go away um and that's the decision that that you make and

00:16:28.480 nowadays in our culture it's kind of the same thing you know parents aren't really expected to

00:16:32.160 contribute anything in that regard her the future father-in-law so to speak you know men don't look

00:16:37.840 at him and say okay what's the contribution from him so this there's been this change where uh the

00:16:44.880 way wealth is threaded isn't really the same and i mean a lot of people are in a bad situation anyways

00:16:49.360 they can barely figure out retirement they don't have something to give or the parents are already

00:16:53.680 divorced so the the juice egg that's one thing i knew from working at child support is like you'd have

00:16:59.280 if you especially when it was a family that they were married when the divorce happens whatever

00:17:03.840 nest egg they had for those kids just gets juiced so fast and whether it's to the attorneys um or if

00:17:10.000 it's just imagine being in one house now you have two houses with two mortgages and two electric bills

00:17:14.880 and two this two that um so there's kind of not much left for the kids when it's their very important

00:17:20.880 time of their lives to figure out what am i going to do as most of you know i have been fighting on the

00:17:26.160 front lines of the simp epidemic for years but i need to tell you about a quiet weapon being

00:17:31.040 ratcheted up against men that is rarely talked about it's not just the relentless anti-masculinity

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00:19:14.880 big

Pearl - June 01, 2025

This Is What Checked Hypergamy Was Before No-Fault Divorce w⧸ @thisisshah

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