Pearl - This Is Why Modern Women Are GIVING UP On Their Type ｜ Pearl Daily

00:00:00.000 I want to talk about a woman that I knew when I was in school. So this woman was somebody that I,

00:00:07.100 I was a transfer. So I went to one school and then I transferred to another school to play

00:00:10.980 volleyball. And this woman had a particular type and everyone knew on the team what her type was 1.00

00:00:16.660 because anytime she would go on a date with a guy, talk to a guy, have a boyfriend, he would always

00:00:21.980 look a certain way. Now around my senior year, she dated a guy that looked nothing like the men

00:00:28.720 that she dated in the past, had a completely different look. So they were dating. He was

00:00:33.140 nice enough. I met him a couple of times. And one of the most red pilling moments was I was at a,

00:00:39.520 it's like a day party, Darties. I don't know if you guys have been to school, you already know

00:00:43.540 where everyone during the day, they go out, have drinks. And I think it was homecoming or something

00:00:49.700 like that. Now this woman ends up cheating on her boyfriend with one of her ex boyfriends at that 1.00

00:00:56.200 party. And this to me signaled that she was dating a man that she wasn't really attracted to.

00:01:03.260 However, many women have the issue that their type doesn't stay for long-term commitment. So 1.00

00:01:10.320 I wanted to go through a couple TikToks where women kind of talk about this dilemma, 1.00

00:01:15.880 where I wanted to show a TikTok because a lot of times you guys say, Pearl,

00:01:19.360 you're just making this stuff up. So she says, having to say goodbye to my type because I'm trying

00:01:24.380 to get married. So what does this mean? As you know, women, we are hypergamous. So, 1.00

00:01:30.820 and dating app data shows this. There's two data points that you can find that we date a small

00:01:38.560 percentage of men and that we on some level are designed to share men. One is that we have more

00:01:47.800 than twice as many female ancestors as we have male ancestors. I want to say 3000 years ago, it was

00:01:55.740 eight men or eight women to one man. The second data point is dating apps. It shows we only swipe

00:02:02.680 right between five to 20% of the time. If you want to be super generous, we can give 30%. But in general,

00:02:10.180 that's the number one way people are meeting in 2024. A lot of people will say that dating apps

00:02:17.640 aren't real life. And I do agree with that. But if we're going to look at marriage results today,

00:02:22.460 according to jewelers and people that are selling engagement rings, apparently Hinge is the number

00:02:29.220 one app that people are getting married on. And even on Hinge, we're sharing that. Essentially what

00:02:34.900 you get, the men that get all the women. So these are like eights, nines, and tens. These are the rest. 0.90

00:02:40.900 So these are the men that are invisible to women. These are the men that tend to get relationships,

00:02:45.460 but they don't get hookups or they're not selected for hookups. And then the top men are the ones that

00:02:51.060 are hooking up with everybody, right? This makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but you can go on

00:02:56.380 TikTok and find women confirming this. And like a lot of women, they just use TikTok as their diary. 1.00

00:03:03.520 So you can go on TikTok and literally find women confirming this, or you can take dating app data.

00:03:09.380 Or the third data point is that there are twice as many women in relationships as men. So either option A,

00:03:19.880 women are dating significantly older, or sorry, under 30, a third of men are virgins or haven't had sex

00:03:26.400 in the past year. And there are twice as many women in relationships as men. So that tells us either women 0.81

00:03:33.320 are dating significantly older. That's a possibility. But to me, what would be more likely is that women 0.87

00:03:39.800 are sharing men because we've always done that throughout all of history. And it would be rational

00:03:48.140 to me to think that we would do that today. Now, a lot of times conservatives, we look at the 1950s

00:03:56.200 as this golden era or the 1920s. And I think this is, and I've done this before, but I think this is a

00:04:02.920 common trope where we romanticize the past. And we think that there was some golden era or golden age

00:04:09.820 where it was just so amazing to be alive. The way that I view it is that each generation has a different

00:04:15.180 set of problems. So instead of going into World War I or World War II, our generation just has a hard

00:04:21.820 time with relationships. And what we found out is the last hundred years, women have fought very, 1.00

00:04:30.460 very hard to not have to be with men they are not attracted to. To me, this is what feminism is at its 1.00

00:04:39.720 core. Because when you look at feminist writings, generally what they're fighting for is reproductive 1.00

00:04:48.040 freedom on some level. Margaret Sanger, most of her writings are about getting on the pill, access to

00:04:55.660 abortion. So what is abortion on a root level? It's women saying, I do not want to reproduce with men 0.99

00:05:03.580 that I do not deem fit. Then we got no fault divorce. And what is that saying? What are women saying in 0.98

00:05:10.720 that? I do not want to stay with a man that I am not attracted to or that I do not like.

00:05:17.560 And unfortunately, what we found out in the last hundred years is that when we are given the

00:05:24.380 freedom to do anything we want, most women do not like most men that much. And people kind of get on 0.99

00:05:31.020 me for saying this, but every data point is going to tell you that that is true. You gave women the 1.00

00:05:37.140 freedom to do anything and they are more likely to pick sex work in their youth than they are marriage.

00:05:44.560 What does that tell you? Okay. So this isn't a happy truth. This isn't a, because a lot of times when I

00:05:50.380 talk, people think I'm applying morality onto it, that it's good or bad. I am simply analyzing what's

00:05:56.540 going on. So when yesterday we had a debate on the channel and we had a content creator and a woman

00:06:04.080 come on. And one of the things they spoke about was that many pickup artists and PUAs have a three

00:06:11.480 date rule where if a woman does not sleep with a man on a three date rule, the men are instructed to 0.84

00:06:17.900 move on. I've heard Myron say this. Now, why is that? Before we judge it and we say that is a terrible

00:06:25.740 thing, degeneracy, men are problem solvers. And what men don't want to be is in a position where their

00:06:34.340 wife is not attracted to them. So some men see the easiest solution to be, she has this amount of 1.00

00:06:42.680 time to sleep with me, or I am going to assume that she's not attracted to me. I'm not saying

00:06:47.760 that's right. I'm not saying that's wrong, but I'm saying that is a solution that many men have come

00:06:53.960 up with. So I wanted to read an article by Rollo Tomasi talking about genuine desire. And I want to

00:07:01.920 talk about what that is. So this is called the desire dynamic. It's on the rationalmail.com.

00:07:07.560 You cannot negotiate desire. This is a very simple principle that most men and the vast majority of

00:07:13.800 women are willfully ignorant of. One of the most common personal problems I've been asked for advice 1.00

00:07:19.660 on the last 10 years is some variation of how do I get her back? Usually this breaks down into men

00:07:26.140 seeking some sort of methodology to return his relationship to an earlier state where a previously

00:07:33.060 passionate woman couldn't keep her hands off of him. Six months in to a comfortable familiarity and

00:07:40.560 the thrill is gone. But in truth, it's the genuine desire that is gone. It's often at this stage that a

00:07:46.580 man will resort to negotiation. Sometimes this can be as subtle as him progressively doing things for her

00:07:54.680 in hopes that she'll reciprocate with the same sexual fervor that they used to have. So this is

00:08:01.440 where you see women like Katy Perry on that podcast saying that her husband has to do chores in order to 0.99

00:08:08.760 get her to have sex with him. She is not actually attracted to him. And so he has to negotiate the 0.88

00:08:16.820 attraction. Other times a married couple may go to counseling to resolve their issues and negotiate

00:08:22.300 terms for her sexual compliance. He'll promise to do the dishes and a load of laundry more in exchange

00:08:27.960 for her feigned sexual interest in him. Yet, no matter what terms are offered, no matter how great

00:08:33.440 an external effort he makes so deserving of reward, the genuine desire is not there for her. In fact,

00:08:40.540 she feels worse for not having the desire after such efforts were made for her compliance. Negotiated

00:08:46.740 desire only ever leads to obligated compliance. This is why her post-negotiation sexual response is so 0.99

00:08:54.500 often lackluster and the source of even further frustration on his part. She may be more sexually

00:09:01.440 available to him, but the half-hearted experience is never the same when they first met and there was

00:09:07.100 no negotiation, just spontaneous desire for each other. From a male perspective, and particularly that

00:09:14.100 of an uninitiated beta male, negotiation of desire seems like a rational solution to the problem.

00:09:21.620 Men tend to innately rely on deductive reasoning, otherwise known as an if-then logic stream.

00:09:28.820 The code is something like this. I need sex, plus women have the sex I want, plus ask women about their 1.00

00:09:39.280 conditions for sex, plus meet their prerequisites for sex, equals the sex I want. So this is also 1.00

00:09:45.760 when men try to qualify to women for their lists. They're essentially, even though women will sleep 0.99

00:09:51.440 with broke musicians, personal trainers, men that don't have anything together, right? Okay, so make

00:09:59.360 it make sense. It's simple economics, but built on a foundation that relies on a woman's accurate 1.00

00:10:04.880 self-evaluations. The genuine desire they used to experience at the onset of their relationship was

00:10:10.400 predicted upon a completely unknown set of variables. Overtly communicating a desire for

00:10:17.200 reciprocal desire creates obligation and sometimes even ultimatums. Genuine desire is something a person

00:10:24.000 can come to or be led to on their own politician. You can force a woman by threat to comply with behaving 1.00

00:10:30.960 in a desired manner, but you cannot make her want to behave that way. A prostitute will F you. For 1.00

00:10:38.240 an exchange, it doesn't mean that she wants to. Whether a long-term relationship or one-night stands,

00:10:44.560 strive for genuine desire in your relationships. Half of the battle is knowing you want to be with a

00:10:50.960 woman who wants to please you, not one who feels obligated to. You will never draw this genuine desire

00:10:57.840 from her by overt means, but you can covertly lead her to this genuine desire. The trick is provoking

00:11:04.080 real desire and keeping her ignorant of your intent to provoke it. Real desire is created by her

00:11:09.920 thinking it's something she wants, not something she has to do. So I think the most important sentence

00:11:16.000 here is that genuine desire is when women want to listen to you or they want to please you, 0.65

00:11:23.760 not that they feel like they have to. Now, why is this important? Because there is a debate going

00:11:32.560 in on Twitter right now. And the question is, women feel genuine desire for a very small percentage of 0.99

00:11:41.520 men. It's rare. What do we do as a society moving forward? Do women compromise on their type and marry 1.00

00:11:49.680 men they're not attracted to? And as a man, do you want a woman to marry you if she's not attracted to

00:11:56.160 you? The reason I ask this is because, and she's been on the show, there's a woman named Lori talking

00:12:04.240 about how she did not initially have genuine desire for her husband, but they stuck it out, stuck it out.

00:12:11.520 And now they've been happily married for years. So let me. When I first met him, I would, I won't

00:12:17.920 tell you how you stress or anything because I don't want to embarrass him, but I was not attracted

00:12:23.120 physically to him. But I just, there weren't those butterflies and the things that I thought should be

00:12:28.560 there with a man that I was supposedly in love with. And he said to me, how would you like to be

00:12:34.400 Mrs. Alexander? And I said, sure. You know, that was it. No ring, no going on his knee. No, nothing,

00:12:42.240 you know. And so, and I wasn't that excited though. And we argued a lot about everything. We didn't get

00:12:49.440 along that great. I felt like he stole my joy. I don't know what was wrong with me. And so I went on

00:12:54.800 my wedding day and I, you know, none of those butterflies are exciting. I go to my bridal showers and

00:13:00.720 none of that. It was just like this emptiness. It was like, why don't I have that in me? I don't

00:13:05.200 like this. I want to be on butterflies and so excited. But I, you know, we, we discussed that

00:13:11.680 we married, divorce would never be in our vocabulary. So we got married and

00:13:20.400 the first 20 years were rough because I was still critical. So now that I've been married almost 44 years,

00:13:27.440 I can tell you women that love is not an emotion. And that is a really shaky, unstable ground to build

00:13:34.800 your marriage upon. So anyway, women, remember just because you maybe lost the butterflies and 0.93

00:13:40.640 the emotions and the feelings for your husband, that's not love. Well, I'm going to be going to

00:13:46.240 church soon and I will learn in silence with all submission. Okay. So I listened to this and I

00:13:52.240 don't hear anything that's innately wrong, right? We don't want divorce. Divorce is bad for children. 1.00

00:13:59.680 Most men or most women cannot marry men that they're attracted to. There are just not enough 1.00

00:14:07.520 to go around. When we look at who women select for sex, there are simply not enough. So the question is 0.99

00:14:16.160 to men, would you be happy with this kind of marriage? Some men may say yes. Some men may say no.

Pearl - January 08, 2025

This Is Why Modern Women Are GIVING UP On Their Type ｜ Pearl Daily

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